


Fireside Chats

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Canon, Vignette
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-01-26
Updated: 2009-02-23
Packaged: 2018-12-29 19:57:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 199
Words: 249,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12092313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: Brian and Justin discuss their life together





	1. Chapter 1 - The Fireplace

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

There were lots of perks in the advertising business.  Sometimes they were perks Brian liked and sometimes not.  The day they delivered the electric ventless fireplace to the loft was one of the latter.  Brian had produced a successful advertising program for Ace Fireplaces Inc. and they had favored him with a gift of their top of the line model.  He wondered how to get  rid of it.  It didn’t fit the décor of the loft and Brian didn’t much care for fireplaces. 

 

The day after the delivery, Brian worked late at the office and got home after dark to find the loft aglow from the flickering fake flames emanating from the new fireplace.  Justin was sitting next to it, toasting marshmallows.  “I love this fireplace, Brian,” he declared. “It reminds me of the Boy Scouts.”  

 

“The Boy Scouts?” Brian choked, “The Boy Scouts.  You’re turning my loft into a Boy Scout camp.”  “I loved the Boy Scouts, Brian,” Justin countered, “I went to camp for two weeks every summer when I was young and I loved it.”   

 

“When you were young, eh,” Brian responded, “You’re only nineteen now, but I don’t think you were ever young.”  “Well, I was,” Justin insisted, “I don’t think I began to age until I met you.  I’m not complaining though.  You have some really good points.”  

 

Brian wanted to laugh but he didn’t.  “You know that’s not a real fire, don’t you?” he challenged Justin.  “Well it gives off heat as well as light, and it toasts marshmallows just fine,” was Justin’s answer, “And I love it.  You always say the loft is mine too so I’ll just keep the fireplace in my half.”  

 

“We don’t have halves,” Brian gritted his teeth.  He loved the little twink.  He loved the arguing and the making up as much as Justin did but he would never admit it.  “Well can’t we keep it at least through the winter to give it a try,” Justin asked, “I’ll bet you’ll get to like it as much as I do.”  

 

“We’ll see,” Brian said, “I’m too hungry to fight with you about it right now.  Can I turn on a light, please? The kitchen is out of the range of the fireplace and I want to eat.”  “You’ll ruin the effect,” Justin complained, “But if you absolutely have to eat….”   They were both smiling.  Deep down they understood each other.

 

Justin knew that Brian was going to be late so he had prepared dinner for them both and waited so that he could eat with Brian.  The meal consisted of most of Brian’s favorites done just the way Brian liked them.  “So you knew I wanted to get rid of that fireplace and you cooked up this dinner to soften me up, didn’t you?” Brian accused Justin as he was enjoying the meal.  

 

“That hurts my feelings,” Justin proclaimed, “I got this meal ready because I love you and I want you to have everything you want.  Just the way I know that you love me and want me to have everything I want.”  Brian couldn’t help himself.  He laughed.  

 

“Sunshine,” he replied, ”I’m lucky I’m smart or you would be able to get anything you want from me.”  “Well you are smart,” Justin replied, while trying to think of something he wanted that he didn’t get from Brian.  He couldn’t think of anything.

 

After dinner, Brian changed clothes and came back into the living area.  “Do you want to go out somewhere?  I think the gang’s at Woody’s,” Brian asked.  “Not unless you especially want to,” Justin replied.  “I don’t,” Brian said, ”I’m kind of tired.  What’s on TV?”  “Absolutely nothing worth while,” Justin remarked with certainty.  

 

“Well, what then do you propose that we do for the next couple of hours?” Brian asked, already knowing the answer to the question before he asked it.  “I thought maybe we could just sit by the fireplace and talk.” Justin suggested, feeling certain that he would get his way.  “OK,” Brian gave in, “I’m too tired to argue.”  “I hope you won’t be too tired to make up later,” Justin grinned.  “We’ll just have to wait and see, won’t we?” Brian grinned back.

 

So they turned off the lights and sat down on the floor, covered with a blanket, with their backs leaning against the couch, facing the fireplace with its dancing flames.  They snuggled up against each other.  Brian was beginning to think this wasn’t such a bad way to spend an evening when Justin thought of a way to improve things.  He pulled away from Brian and stood up.  “I bought a big bag of marshmallows,” He declared, “I’ll get some more to toast.”  

 

“I don’t like marshmallows,” Brian stated.  “I do,” Justin responded, “And so will you when you see how well I toast them.”  “I guess you owe all your charms to the Boy Scouts,” Brian joked.  “Not all,” Justin laughed back, “No, not all, but some.”  Brian couldn’t believe that he was actually enjoying himself.  He wondered how this crazy kid had bewitched Brian Kinney, changing him from the debonaire man about town into a guy who could have a good time sitting on the floor watching fake fire from an electric fireplace he didn’t like.  He wondered, but he was glad for the change.  He was happier than he had ever been in his life.  But he still didn’t like marshmallows.

 

Justin came back with his big bag of marshmallows and a long metal stick that Brian had never seen before, making Brian wonder how carefully this whole thing had been planned.  When Justin got himself back under the blanket and properly snuggled up to Brian, he extended a few marshmallows  into the flames on the stick, and asked Brian: “Weren’t you  ever a Boy Scout?”  “Never,” Brian answered.  “How come?” Justin wondered.  “I don’t know,” Brian answered, “It just didn’t seem to be my thing.”  “But it was a lot of fun,” Justin said, ”The Boy Scouts did a lot of great things.”  

 

“I don’t remember having fun as a kid,” Brian responded, “I don’t think I ever did.  There wasn’t any fun at home, and I never had a real friend until I met Mikey in high school.”  “What about the other kids at school?” Justin asked.  “I think maybe they did have fun.  Yeah, I think maybe they did.” Brian said wistfully, “I just thought fun wasn’t for me.”  

 

“That’s terrible, Brian,” Justin cut in, and Brian couldn’t believe he was saying these things to anyone, even Justin.  He wondered if it was just that this kid left him defenseless, or was it that damn fireplace too.  He couldn’t believe that he was talking about the childhood  he had tried so hard to forget, but somehow he was glad he had said what he had said.  He felt better for having shared some of that part of his life with Justin.  Justin leaned over and kissed Brian.  “I love you,” he said.  He thought Brian needed to hear that.

 

“Oops,” Justin cried out, “I’ve burned some of the marshmallows.”   He pulled the stick out of the flames and popped one of the charred ones into his mouth.  “They are so good,” he declared, “You ought to try one.”  “I don’t like marshmallows,” Brian told him, “I do not like marshmallows.”  “Well that’s too bad,” Justin declared, “I wish you’d try just one.  I am an expert on marshmallows.”  He handed one to Brian.  

 

“That’s why you burned them black,” Brian countered.  He eased the marshmallow  into his mouth.  Much to his surprise, it was good.  “It’s good, isn’t it?” Justin pressed.  “It’s OK,” Brian allowed.  “Have another one,” Justin offered and Brian accepted,  “We can have marshmallows often since you’re letting me keep the fireplace, and some great discussions too.”

 “It’s as if the kid can read my mind,” Brian thought, “If he can then he knows how much I love him.”    


	2. Chapter 2 - How, Why, When

Brian and Justin had a new fireplace in the loft, a gift from a very satisfied client of Brian’s.  It was state of the art, electric with no venting needed, clean, and requiring no fuel except that provided by the electric switch.  Brian thought it looked chintzy in daylight and Justin saw it as a source of toasted marshmallows, but at night when it was the only light in the loft, it seemed to be magic.  Brian found he could tell Justin things in the firelight that he thought he would never be able to say to anyone, and Justin knew that.  Occasionally they would sit together on the floor facing the fire in the otherwise darkened loft and talk.  Both of them treasured the experience.  There were lots of things that Justin wanted to know, and the fireplace offered the opportunity to pursue subjects he didn’t think he could bring up at any other time.

 

On one such occasion, they were sitting together on the floor, facing the fire, backs against the couch, and cuddled together.  They had just finished watching a romantic movie on TV.  It wasn’t a very good movie but it had set Justin to thinking and that could be dangerous. 

 

 Nothing had been said until Justin asked Brian: “Is there such a thing as love at first sight?” 

 

 “Why don’t you ask the munchers?” Brian asked him back.

 

 “Because I want to know what you think, and nobody knows what you think except you, and sometimes me,” Justin replied. 

 

 “Well, Sunshine,” Brian answered, ”I only fell in love once and it wasn’t at first sight.”

 

 “I only fell in love once too, ”Justin said, “Maybe it was at first sight.  I thought when you came over to me under the lamppost that you were going to be the one.  Then I was with you at the hospital with Gus and then all night.  I knew by the time you took me back to school the next morning that I was in love with you.  Is that first sight or not?” 

 

 “I don’t think we need to be that technical,” Brian smiled, “But you sure made my life a living hell for a while after that.” 

 

 “I’ll admit to being an inexperienced stalker,” Justin remembered, ”But I thought maybe you loved me too.  When you threw me out of the loft the next night, I thought I’d die.  I thought I had lost you forever.” 

 

 “So then you showed up the next night at Babylon and started dancing half naked and tried to seduce the two guys I had picked out for myself?” Brian wondered.  

 

It was Justin’s turn to smile:  “That was Daphne’s idea to come back after you, not mine, and I wasn’t half naked.  I just had my shirt off.  And as I recall, I did seduce the two guys you had picked out for yourself but then you came and got me.  Why did you do that?  Why did you come and get me?” 

 

 “Do I have to tell?” Brian asked.  “You do if you don’t want nagged to death, and I am a good nagger,” Justin warned him.

 

 Brian nodded in assent.  “Okay,” Brian finally said, “So it all comes out.  I had thousands of tricks before you, Babe, and none of them ever meant a thing to me.  I never cared if I ever saw them again.  Actually, I didn’t want to see them again.  And then you came along.  You were different – special in some way – special in a lot of ways.  I liked you.  I didn’t want someone to like.  People you like can hurt you.  You were too young for me anyhow, and I thought I would be bad for you.  I hoped if I could stay away from you, I could forget you.  Maybe I could have but you wouldn’t let me.  When I saw those guys with you at Babylon, I couldn’t stand it.  They were good enough for me but they weren’t good enough for you.  I didn’t want them touching you. That’s why I came and got you.” 

 

 “Did you love me way back then?” Justin asked. 

 

 “I don’t think so. Remember I told you that I did not believe in love.  I didn’t.  I didn’t want there to be such a thing as love, at least for me,” Brian responded, “I did feel a responsibility though since it was me you were chasing, and feeling responsible was a new thing for me.  It was actually scary.  I liked having you around but I was also hoping that you’d go away.  Then a whole bunch of shit happened and you ended up living with me and I tried to hold you at arms length and discourage your chasing me.  That was tough because I really liked having you around, against my better judgment, I might add.” 

 

 “And then you threw me out of the loft, and I ran off to New York, with your credit card so that you could track me down.  I was so scared you wouldn’t come after me.   I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t,” Justin added. 

 

 “I would have come anyhow, but I was lucky and Debbie and Daphne put a lot of pressure on me.  That made it easy.  It looked like I only went to New York to satisfy them.  I was worried about you though and I would have found some reason to come and bring you back,” Brian admitted, “I might have been in love with you then but I sure didn’t know it, but I did know I wanted to protect you and that was new enough to me.” 

 

 “But I kept chasing you after that, and you still kept discouraging me, even after I was living at Debbie’s.  If you liked me…?” Justin said. 

 

 “That was just the point,” Brian responded, “I did like you.  Somewhere along the line I fell in love with you.  I didn’t think a match up of you and me would be good for you or me.  I was willing to take a chance myself, but I was not willing to take that chance for you.  I didn’t want to ruin your life.  I did not want to give you up but I thought I had to – for your own good.” 

 

 “But you were going to New York for that new job.  Was that to get away from me too?” Justin wanted to know. 

 

 “Well, it was a good business opportunity.  I knew I loved you  then, and I thought getting out of town was the only way I could give you up.  I really loved you enough by then to give you up if that was best for you, and I thought it was,” Brian replied, ”You know, Baby, when that job fell through, I considered going to New York anyhow, and finding some job up there.  That’s why I didn’t tell anybody that I didn’t get the job.  A lot of the gang thought I didn’t say anything so that Michael would go to Portland with David, but it was really all about you.”

 

 “But in the end you didn’t go.  What changed your mind?” Justin wondered.

 

 “Remember that day in the loft when I told you I was going and was never going to look back.  Then I held you and told you I wanted you to do the same thing.  Well, I didn’t want to forget you and I didn’t want you to forget me.  I just couldn’t go.  I don’t think I could have gone even if that great job had come through.  Then I gave up and showed up at your prom.”

 

“Skip that part,” Justin interrupted him, “It took a long time but I think we’re both over that – unless you want to talk about it.” 

 

 “No,” Brian told him, “I think I’ve finally got that out of my system.  You got over that business quicker and better than I did.  I think you’re tougher than I am.” 

 

 “Oh you’re tough, Brian, you really are, but you had guilt to deal with too.  You shouldn’t have felt guilty but you did and you wouldn’t give yourself a break.  You’re a lot tougher on yourself than on anyone else.  That’s why you kept pushing me away right up to the _Rage_ party.” 

 

 “You’re right,” Brian agreed, “And I’m glad you kept chasing me.  I’m really glad you caught me although I sometimes imagine that it was me catching you.  I wonder though why you didn’t give up.  There were a lot of other guys who would have made it easier for you.” 

 

 “I didn’t want any other guys,” Justin insisted, “I wanted you.  There’s a soft side of Brian Kinney that I saw on that very first night.  That’s when I fell in love whether it was first sight or not.  You never showed that to anyone else.”

 

 “Nobody ever looked for it either,” Brian said, “You want to know when I fell in love with you and I can’t tell you the exact second.  It wasn’t a lightning bolt for me like it was for you.  You somehow knew there was a possibility that I didn’t believe in so it was easier for you.  I do love you now and I am able to tell you that.  Do you need to know more?”

 

  “I don’t think so,” Justin replied, “But if I do, I expect to have a very long time to find out.”  “And a fireplace,” he thought to himself.


	3. Chapter 3 - Jealousy

Justin and Brian were spending the evening at Babylon.  They hadn’t been there very often for the past several months and they saw a lot of unfamiliar faces in the crowd.  A year earlier, everyone in the club would have known Brian Kinney and almost everyone would have recognized Justin.  Justin was off dancing with someone and Mikey and Brian were standing at the bar reliving old times.  Ted walked by and Michael asked him how things were going.  

 

“Ten rejections in an hour,” Ted replied.  “You’re right on schedule,” Brian laughed.  “And I guess you’re on schedule too. How many guys have hit on you already? Ten? Fifteen?” Ted asked with maybe fake and maybe real envy.  “More than I need,” Brian responded, but the smile left his face.  

 

Michael noted the change and surmised the reason.  “They don’t know you, Brian,” he said.  “Should they have to?” Brian replied, “One guy hit on me since we got here and he was older than me.  I don’t want any of them, Mikey.  I’ve got Justin, but I’m not used to being ignored at Babylon”.  

 

“You’re still the hottest guy in this room, Brian,” Michael assured him.  “You’ll be telling me that when they bring me here in my wheelchair, Mikey,  But will Justin?” Brian wondered.  

 

“Shit Brian,” Michael groused, “It seems like I spend half my life telling Justin that you love him, and the other half telling you that he loves you.  Couldn’t you two stop the sex long enough to tell each other how important you are to each other, how much you love each other.  That’s part of a relationship too, you know.”  

 

“I do love him, Michael,” Brian said.  “I know you do,” Mike answered.  “I don’t think you could know how much,” Brian continued.  Mike didn’t respond.  “Yes I can,” he thought to himself.  Michael decided he had better clue Justin in to Brian’s mood, but it was just a bit too late.

 

Justin was smart, kind, and sweet, but being nineteen, he hadn’t got over being nineteen.  Justin was enthusiastic.  Just at the wrong time he came onto the scene to say the wrong thing to the wrong person.  “Wow Brian,” he enthused, “Is this a great crowd?  I’ve been fighting guys off all night.  Some guys younger than me and some guys almost as old as you.  They don’t know I belong to you cause a lot of them don’t know us.  If I’ve had that much action, they must be swarming around you like flies.”  

 

“You have nothing to worry about, Sunshine.  Michael is protecting me,” Brian told him, “Just save the last dance for me.”  “Always,” Justin promised him, “Any dance that you want, all the dances if you want, and the last dance whether you want it or not because you’re the guy I’m going home with.”  He kissed Brian and whispered “And in whose arms I want to be.” And then Justin was gone.  He disappeared into the crowd waving back at Brian.

 

“See,” Michael said to Brian, “You don’t have to worry.  Justin’s all you want and you’ve got him.  So what’s to complain about?”  “For how long, Mikey?  He’s nineteen,” Brian thought out loud, “When I was nineteen, there is no way I could have been in an exclusive relationship.”  

 

“Brian, I don’t need to tell you that Justin is more mature than we are, not more mature than we were when we were nineteen, more than we are now.  He’s known what he wanted since he was seventeen.  He moved Heaven and earth to get it, and he got it, and that’s you.  He’s not going to throw that away for anyone or anything.  The only one who can ruin this for you is you.  So just quit whining.  Nobody likes a whiner.  Have a good time.  Come on, dance with me.”  “Dancing with you is a good time, eh?” Brian said.  Mikey laughed: “Well it’s better than standing around complaining because you’re old.”  

 

“I am so glad you’re here, Mikey,” Brian announced, “You’re older than me.”  “Just a little bit older,” Michael replied, “But a whole lot wiser.”

 

Brian decided to try Michael’s advice and his spirits rose somewhat.  He did have a better time as the evening went on, talking with Ben, Ted, Emmett and Mike.  He went through the motions of dancing with a lot of different guys, some pretty hot, who would have been invited back to the loft in the old days, and who would have happily gone.  Many of them would have happily gone with him that night but they weren’t invited.  They made no impression on Brian at all.  Hot as they were, they weren’t Justin.  The blond twink was in and out of Brian’s scene that night, but they finally did get together, danced the last dance together and went home to the loft together.

 

When they got home, Justin lit his precious fireplace and asked Brian to sit down by the fire.  He promised to brew some hot chocolate and bring some marshmallows.  “Hot chocolate,” Brian thought, “Hot chocolate.”  Then he smiled to himself.  That was just what he wanted - hot chocolate – and marshmallows – and Justin.

  

Justin brought the hot chocolate, the marshmallows, and the long metal stick he used for toasting them.  He sat down on the floor, under the blanket, and snuggled up to Brian.  “Brian, I really have to apologize to you.  I’m sorry,” be said to a surprised Brian, “I stayed away from you at Babylon all night because I wanted you to have a really good time.  I didn’t want you to be stuck with me all night like you always are, but when I saw you dancing with all those guys, I got worried.  I was jealous.  I know you told me you’ll always love me.  I believe you, Brian, and I trust you, but I was still jealous.  I guess I’m not as mature as I like to say I am.  I wish I could be more sure of myself like you are.”  

 

Brian found the hot chocolate hard to swallow.  If he had been eating a marshmallow he might have choked.  Then Justin continued: “I was glad Mikey was there.  Toward the end, I told him how worried I was and he said he was sure that you loved me.  That made me feel a lot better.  But then he laughed and that scared me some.  Why did Mikey laugh, Brian?”  

 

“Mikey has an odd sense of humor,” Brian counseled Justin, pulling him closer and kissing him on the head, “But you can always believe what he tells you.  You can trust Mikey.”  “Did you have a good time at Babylon tonight, Sunshine?” Brian asked him. 

 

 “Yeah,” Justin said, “But I didn’t like it as well as last night.”  Brian thought for a few minutes and then asked Justin, “What did we do last night?”  “Don’t you remember,” Justin seemed surprised as he continued, “We sat here talking all night, watching the fire – just the two of us.”  

 

Brian wished he had a few more arms to wrap around Justin.  Two were just not enough.    


	4. Chapter 4 - Thanksgiving

The fake fire was ablaze in the loft one cold night in November.  Brian and Justin were in their familiar position watching the fake flames.  Brian was beginning to like the fireplace as much as Justin, not for its aesthetics but because he felt especially close to Justin when they sat together there.  "We have been too busy the last few days," He remarked to Justin, "It's good just to sit here with nothing planned." Justin nodded but he didn't say anything because Justin had something planned.

 

"Thanksgiving is next week, Brian.  You do observe Thanksgiving, don't you?" Justin asked.

 

 "I observe everything these days," Brian said, "It keeps me out of trouble with you.  You know we're going to Debbie's in the afternoon and over to see Gus in the evening so you know we are observing Thanksgiving - your way - as usual.  By the way, Debbie always has a fantastic Thanksgiving dinner.  Please don't eat so much that there won't be enough for the rest of us.  People will think I don't feed you at home.."  

 

"You don't feed me at home," Justin pointed out, "If I waited for you to feed me, I'd starve.  Not much chance of you slaving over a hot microwave.  It's me who does the feeding around here."  

 

"I got along for thirty years before I even met you and I didn't starve," Brian countered, "The only reason I never cook is that I know how much you love to do it.  I don't deny you anything.  You know that.  That's why I let you do all the cooking."  

 

Well," Justin insisted,  "You were a lot skinnier when I met you.  Why don't you bake the three pumpkin pies and the three mince pies I'm supposed to take to Debbie's on Thanksgiving?  I'm worried about ruining them after Vic told me I was a natural as a pie baker.  It would take a load off my mind to know you were going to do them for me."  

 

"I don't do pies," Brian grinned.  "You don't do anything in the kitchen," Justin retorted.  

 

"I can do it in the kitchen.  I've done it in the kitchen," Brian laughed, "We've done it in the kitchen and we can do it in the kitchen right now if you want to."  

 

"Brian, you're always changing the subject," Justin protested.  

 

"You don't like the new subject?" Brian asked. 

 

 "Oh, I like the new subject well enough," Justin allowed.

 

Justin was pleased at how happy Brian seemed to be.  He always wanted Brian to be happy but especially on this particular night.  

 

Then Brian said: "We do have a lot of things to be thankful for this year.  We'll be busy most of the day but I hope we can have Thanksgiving morning to ourselves, maybe, just the two of us, OK?"  Brian saw Justin's reaction to that and knew something was up.  "There's something I don't know, isn't there?" he asked Justin, "We don't have to go to your mother's on Thanksgiving morning, do we?  She and Molly are going to be at Debbie's.  Tell me we don't have to go to your mother's on Thanksgiving morning."  

 

"No, we don't," Justin assured him, "It's your mother's."  

 

That did not immediately sink into Brian's consciousness.  Then it did.  Brian seldom raised his voice, sometimes in anger and sometimes in surprise.  "My mother's," he raised his voice, in surprise, Justin hoped.  

 

"Your mother's," Justin repeated.  Then Brian lowered his voice below its usual level.  That was always more dangerous than his yelling. 

 

 "There's a story here, Mr. Taylor, and you know what it is.  Shit, you probably wrote it.  I want to hear it all.  Start now, and if I don't murder you while you're telling it, tell it all," Brian demanded.  

 

"You wouldn't murder me, Brian, you love me, don't you?" Justin responded with a false bravado.  

 

"Every day people are murdered by someone who loves them.  Read the Post-Gazette.  Now quit weaseling," Brian insisted.  

 

"Well," Justin began, "Your mother called me yesterday morning."  

 

Brian interrupted: "My - mother - called - you - yesterday morning?  Just out of the blue.  My mother called you.  She doesn't even know you."  Brian's voice was raised again and Justin hoped that was a good sign.  

 

"I guess I better begin earlier," Justin said, "You know we see Rev. Butterfield, your mother's minister, around Woody's and Babylon fairly often."  

 

"A little bit more than see, as I remember," Brian cut in.  

 

"I can't tell the story if you keep interrupting," Justin replied, "You're making me nervous." 

 

Brian was bewildered.  He wanted to  laugh.  He wanted to scream.  He wanted to throttle Justin and he wanted to hold him.  "Go on," is what he said.  

 

So Justin continued: "Rev. Butterfield told me your mother is not well, not dangerously ill, but declining.  She's also worried about you.  He told her he has friends who know us and that you have just about given up drinking and drugs and promiscuity - that we are living a decent monogamous life together.  He told her that a lot of good Christians accept our kind of relationship as holy before God, and that he himself thinks that it is holy before God.  She wants to see you."

 

"In other words, I might still be going to Hell but not because of you," Brian laughed. He decided that the whole thing was funny  "OK," Brian asked, "Why didn't the preacher come to me with this tale, Mr. Know-It-All?" 

 

"He said he thought I would be more 'approachable.'" Justin said, a little apologetically.  

 

"How does the good Reverend know that you can get me to do things I don't want to do?" Brian exclaimed, "Does everybody at Babylon know you can get me to do things I don't want to do?  Jeez, does Ted know you can get me to do things I don't want to do?  Can I ever show my face again at Babylon?"  Brian was still laughing and Justin took that as a good sign. 

 

"I am not trying to get you to do something you don't want to do.  I am just delivering the message," Justin contended, "If there's a boss around here, it's you and we both know it.  You don't have to go if you don't want to."  

 

"All right, Sunshine, if I'm really the boss, I want you to tell me, word for word, leaving nothing out and adding nothing, exactly what you told my mother on the phone yesterday morning,"

Brian ordered.  Justin hesitated long enough for Brian to prod: "You heard me.  Speak."  

 

"I told her we'd be there about 10 o'clock on Thanksgiving morning," Justin muttered.  

 

"We?  Brian asked, "We?"  

 

"Yeah," Justin said, "She wants to see me too.  She thinks I'm good for you."

 

Brian gave up.  He couldn't stop laughing.  He threw his arms around Justin to Justin's great relief.  He was still laughing when he prayed: "Dear God, if you're listening, I'm happy and I'm thankful for everything I've got, but please God, if I ever get mixed up with another blond twink, let him,  please let him be stupid."

 

Justin was thankful that there would never, never, be another blond twink for Brian.


	5. Chapter 5 - A Real Argument

Debbie’s Monday night Italian feasts were a tradition with the gang.  They didn’t happen every Monday any more but they were frequent enough.  Justin and Brian tried to get there as often as they could.  They liked to see all their friends together and they liked to see the happier, somewhat more mellow Debbie.  “Carl Horvath is good for Debbie.  Now that she has a life of her own, she leaves me alone,” Brian remarked to Justin as they headed over there one Monday night.  

 

“I don’t think that’s why at all,” Justin laughed, “Now that you have a real life of your own, now that you’ve got me, that is, she doesn’t need to watch you so closely.  She knows I can do that.”  

 

“And you do, just like she did,” Brian came back, “But let’s not argue on the way over.  Let’s argue on the way back so there will be less time between the argument and the making up.”  “That sounds like a great plan to me,” Justin agreed.  It was a plan.  They didn’t know that it was also a prediction.

 

There were going to be two special things about that evening.  One was that Debbie had concocted a new Italian dish: “Pasta a la Debbie with Carl Sauce.”  Debbie was a superb cook and Brian and especially Justin were looking forward to that.  “Don’t eat too much,” Brian had cautioned Justin.  “How much is too much?” Justin  asked snidely.  “About half as much as you’ll eat before you quit,” Brian figured.  “You’re a nag,” Justin complained.  “If it takes one to know one,” Brian quoted, ”You certainly ought to know one.”  That was when they pulled up in front of Debbie’s.

 

The second special event of the night was a celebration.  Melanie had been promoted to senior partner in her law firm.  That gave her more prestige, but of more practical importance, it also about doubled her income.  Lindsey and Melanie had experienced money problems off and on during their lives together but those should now be a thing of the past.  Everyone was very happy for Mel.  They knew she was competent at her work and they had wondered why the promotion had not come sooner.  They wondered if it was because she was female, or because she was Jewish, or because she was lesbian.  But anyhow, it had finally happened and the celebration made the evening special for all of them.

 

Brian and Justin were the last to arrive.  Justin waved to the gang and then planted a kiss on Melanie’s cheek.  “Congratulations, Mel.  You deserve it,” He told her, “I’m so happy for you.”  

 

Then Brian, mimicking Justin, also kissed Melanie on the cheek.  “Congratulations, Counselor,” he teased her, “Now you can be a better father to my son.”  “Well if you mean better than you are, that should be very easy,” she joked back.  Their relationship had warmed up considerably so they could now joke with each other.

 

The meal was delicious and everybody had a good time.  About halfway through the meal, about the time Justin was replenishing his plate for the third time while avoiding Brian’s stare, Michael observed: “This Debbie pasta and the Carl sauce really go well together.  Seems like a perfect match to me.”  That was the high point of the evening for Deb.  She beamed and Carl smiled too.  Michael had not always approved of the relationship and they knew he was telling them that they had his approval.  That pleased them very much.

 

Over the dessert, Justin opened Pandora’s Box innocently enough when he asked Lindsey and Melanie how they planned to celebrate Mel’s promotion.  “I think you should take off to Europe for a couple of weeks.  Brian and I would be glad to take care of Gus while you’re gone,” he offered.  Actually Brian would have liked to have taken care of Justin just then.  Brian had not been consulted.  But Brian didn’t have to worry about a possible acceptance of Justin’s offer.  

 

“No, we don’t think we’ll be doing that,” Mel answered.  Brian relaxed, but not for long as Lindsey added, “We’re thinking of having another baby.”

 

That announcement brought about a spirited discussion.  There were pros and cons mentioned.  It would be nice for Gus to have a little brother or sister to grow up with.  On the other hand, Mel would be busier as a partner and Lindsey was doing more with her art since she had installed the attic studio.  The sense of the discussion seemed to be that Mel and Linz should think a little more about the idea.  It was a pretty complete discussion of the matter, but it ignored one very important point.  Nobody wanted to ask and the girls did not say whom they wanted for the biological father of the new addition.

 

Brian and Justin continued the discussion on their way back home.  “I hope they don’t ask me,” Brian said, “I love Gus but I don’t think I want to do that again.”  

 

Justin thought for a while.  Then he said to Brian, “Maybe they’ll ask me.  I’ll do it.  Maybe I should call them and volunteer.  That would be great.  Your biological son would be a half-brother to my biological kid.”  

 

“No,” Brian objected, “That would not be great.  You are not to volunteer and if they are crazy enough ask you, I want you to say ‘No.’”  “That should be my decision,” Justin scowled.  “I want you to say ‘No,’” Brian repeated. That was the last word spoken in the car.  They had hoped for an argument on the way home and they had gotten their wish.  Neither was happy about it.

 

When they got back to the loft, Brian stalked directly to the bedroom.  Justin slouched onto the couch, then got up and lit his fireplace, sat on the floor under the blanket and stared aimlessly into the electric flames.  He sat there for a good while thinking until he felt someone sitting down next to him. An arm went around his shoulder, and Justin looked over.  

 

“Are we having an argument?” he asked Brian.  “Seems like that,” Brian replied.  “Is this a real argument?” Justin went on.  “Maybe,” was Brian’s  response.  “I like arguments,” Justin said, “But not real arguments.  Real arguments give me an empty feeling in my stomach.  I’ll do what you tell me, Brian.  I’ll say ‘No’ to Mel and Lindsey if they ask me.”  

 

“If real arguments give you an empty feeling in your stomach after what you’ve just eaten, we’re dealing with a very serious situation here.  I don’t like arguments like this either.  Actually I came out here to apologize to you.  I have no business ordering you around, Baby, I love you so much that I want to protect you  even if it’s from yourself, but there are some decisions you have to make on your own.  This is one of them.  It would be a mistake for you to say ‘Yes’ if they ask you, but all I have a right to ask is that you listen to what I have to say before you decide.  I’m sorry I was so bossy before.  I’m still learning too.  I will support you decision whatever it is, even if I don’t  agree with you.”  

 

“I think I know what your arguments are, Brian,” Justin replied, snuggling up to him.  I’ve been thinking.  I wasn’t thinking before.  You were in a position to take care of Gus if he needed you.  I’m not there yet.  I’ll say ‘No” and it will be my decision.”  “Can we forget this ever happened?” Justin pleaded.  

 

“I don’t think we should.  Didn’t we both learn something that will help us get through the next 50 or 60 years?” Brian said.  “Yes we did,” Justin agreed, “It’s amazing, Brian, you’re always right.  So are we all made up now?”  

 

“Isn’t there some more making up we still need to do?” Brian inquired.  “You are a wonder, Brian.  You are always right,” Justin laughed, “There is more making up to do.  Let’s get right to it.”

 

They forgot to turn off the fireplace so it burned all night.  They did not notice.  They would not have noticed if the loft had burned down.


	6. Chapter 6 - Why It Didn't Happen

It was snowing outside.  Pittsburgh was an icy city.  It was no night to be out of doors.  Better to sit at home.  Brian and Justin were doing that, staying home, sitting on the couch instead of on the floor in front of it, wrapped up in their blanket and in one another, watching the flames jump around in their electric ventless fireplace.  Justin was kind of lying on Brian with his head on Brian’s chest.  Neither could think of anything he’d rather be doing, any place he’d rather be, or anyone he’d rather be with.  They were perfectly satisfied.

 

The phone rang and Brian answered.  Justin could only hear Brian’s side of the conversation.  “Really,” he said, and then, “Gee, we’re only a mile away and it’s warm over here.”  Then he said, “Don’t worry.  We won’t,” “Thanks a lot,” and hung up.  Brian turned to Justin smiling: “Mikey says for us not to go out.  It’s cold and icy.” 

“Don’t make fun of Mikey,” Justin said, “He cares about us, especially you.  He’s a good friend.”  “Yes, he is,” Brian agreed, “After you and Gus, I love him more than anybody else in the world.”  “I know you do,” Justin replied.

  

Then they got snuggled up again and sat there watching the flames, completely satisfied just to be together.  They had learned that silence between two people as close as they were could speak sometimes much better than words.  But silence does not ask questions.  Mostly, that job fell to Justin and that night eventually he said, “Brian?”  “What do you want to know?” Brian replied.  He knew a question when he heard one.

 

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, but you know I want to know everything about you,” Justin said,  “It’s not really any of my business but a little over two years ago, you didn’t know me and Gus had not been born yet.  If you loved Mikey more than anybody else in the world…?”  

 

“Why didn’t something happen between me and Mikey?” Brian finished Justin’s question.  “Yeah,” Justin responded, “You had to know that Mikey wanted something to happen.  Brian, I’m not trying to pry.  Don’t tell me if you don’t want to.”  

 

“I don’t have any secrets from you,” Brian assured him, “I don’t want to have any secrets from you.  Maybe I have some secrets from myself though.  You’re asking ‘Why?’ and I never asked myself that question.  I knew it wouldn’t happen.  I didn’t want it to happen.  I really think Michael knew it wouldn’t happen, too, and  I don’t think he really wanted it to happen either.  He thought he did, but I don’t think he ever….  I’m sorry, Sunshine.  I’m sounding like some psychologist and I’m not a psychologist.  Maybe Ben could explain it but I don’t think I can.  It’s that damn fireplace.  It makes me garrulous.  Remember, that was one of the words you missed when you were practicing for the SAT.”  

 

Justin smiled. ”I certainly do remember - Garrulous: habitually talkative; loquacious; wordy; prolix;” he recited.  “No wonder you got 1500 on the SAT,” Brian marveled, “You’re a smart little twinkie.”  

 

“Brian” Justin said, “We should stop this discussion.  I apologize.  I never should have asked that dumb question.  Maybe the fireplace makes me garrulous too.”  Brian’s smile grew broader.  He was really in love with that “smart little twinkie” but he couldn’t pass up a snappy retort.  

 

“It’s not the fireplace with you,” Brian pointed out, “You’re always garrulous.”  They laughed together and then silence returned to the loft.

 

It was Brian who broke the quiet this time.  “Baby, I’ve learned a lot about myself since I met you.  Maybe now I can figure out why it didn’t happen.  I don’t think it’s very flattering to me.  Do you want to hear it?”  “No,” Justin answered but Brian went on just the same.  Maybe the fireplace did make him garrulous.  He seemed to want to tell the story.  

 

“I knew some couples; they were mostly hetero back then but one gay couple too.  They were ‘in love’ for a while, sex and all, then they broke up and they hated each other.  They might have been friends for life if they hadn’t fallen in love.  I only had one good friend and that was Mikey.  I loved Mikey but he was the only friend I had.  If we had fallen ‘in love’ we could have broken up and hated each other like the other couples.  I needed Mikey and I needed his family.  My own family gave me more unhappiness than anything else.  They didn’t love me.  They acted like they didn’t even want me.  Debbie was more of a mother to me than my own mother and you know about my dad.  Vic was healthy then and he really did the father thing for me and Mikey.  He was gay and he knew Mike and me were gay too before Debbie did.  He wasn’t always in town, he lived in New York for a while, but he was around enough to be a big help to us.  If I had lost Mikey, I might have lost the others too.  I just couldn’t take a chance on being ‘in love’ with Mikey, no matter how much I loved him.  Sex was a different matter.  I couldn’t do without sex then like I can now.”  

 

Justin laughed at that remark although there were tears in his eyes.  Brian continued: “Sex wasn’t all that hard to find.  I told you once about my first time.  But sex was separate from love for me so Michael was not available.  I couldn’t risk falling in love with him.  If I had sex with people I didn’t love and didn’t try to become friends with, I was safe.  Later, when I became a big stud, I could have fallen in love.  I could have easily survived a break up because there were so many other possibilities, but by then sex and love were completely disconnected for me, and I was interested in sex but not in love.  Then you came along.  We started with sex but I knew you were different from the start.  You scared me.  You were dangerous.  You were the one who could bring love and sex back together for me.  I didn’t want that.  I wasn’t ready for that.  I fought it and lost, thank God.  You know the rest.”  Brian had never opened himself up like that to anyone before, Justin felt pretty sure.  He had never talked that way to Justin before.  Justin embraced Brian and thought he detected a tear in Brian’s eye.  He knew there were tears in his own.

 

“Then if something happened to me,” Justin said, “Maybe something could happen between you and Michael since you’ve got things figured out now.  You’re not dependent on anybody like that any more.” 

 

“Maybe,” Brian replied. “But I am dependent on you.  I don’t know exactly how but I am.  Maybe I shouldn’t be telling you that.  I don’t know how well I could survive losing you and I don’t know if I’d ever want anybody else.  Sex, yes.  Love, no, I think.”  

 

“I’m more dependent on you than you could ever be on me,” Justin insisted, “We tried the break up bit once and it almost killed me, and I don’t think it worked for you either.”  

 

“We just didn’t communicate.  That was our problem. That break up should never have happened,” Brian said, “We both know that now.  W e won’t have another break up as long as we can communicate.”

 

“Then we’re keeping the fireplace,” Justin concluded, “and we will be as garrulous as necessary.  That’s Garrulous: habitually talkative, loquacious…” The definition was interrupted when Brian leaned over and kissed him.  Justin was not at all insulted by the interruption.  He just kissed Brian back.  


	7. Chapter 7 - Getting Ready

Brian stood outside the door of the loft.  “How would Godzilla handle this situation?” he wondered, and then he burst through the door.  “Justin,” he called, “You meddling monster, you about-to- be-murdered, pain-in-the-ass twink.”  “Hi Brian,” Justin responded as he toiled over a hot stove, preparing dinner for the guy he loved, “How was your day?”

 

Brian had to bite his lip to keep from laughing but he successfully maintained his stern composure.  “Oh just fine until right before I left, Sweetheart,” Brian growled, “When I gave Cynthia the list of Christmas presents I wanted her to buy for me and she told me that you told her that I would want to handle my own buying this year.  And you’re also responsible for that God-awful sentence I just spit out.  You have a lot to explain.”

 

“You gave her the list really early this year, Brian.  That’s the problem,” Justin declared, “It’s still two weeks till Christmas.  Cynthia told me you always give her the list three days before Christmas, and since it’s always the same, she buys the stuff early and has it ready by the time you give her the list.  That’s why she had to know about you wanting to pick the gifts yourself before you needed to know.”  

 

“But I don’t want to pick the gifts myself, Sunshine,” Brian pointed out.  

 

“But you will, Honey,” Justin informed him, “I was going to talk to you about it tonight while we watch the fire.”  

 

“Which means, of course, that the meal tonight will be very special, doesn’t it, Baby?” Brian surmised.  “All your favorites,” Justin told him, “You’re really going to enjoy it.”  Brian was determined to be mad in spite of a great urge to grab the blond monster and kiss him, or maybe more.  He restrained himself though, and managed a couple of glares at Justin between suppressed smiles during the meal but he knew his resolve was weakening.

 He was properly cool in complimenting the chef on the quality of the meal.  He did enjoy the food but he was glad when dinner was over and they settled into their accustomed place on the floor in front of the fake fire.  Brian tried, maybe not too hard, to keep Justin from cuddling up next to him – after all, wasn’t he angry – but Justin persisted and Brian gave up.

 

“All right, young man,” Brian demanded, “Are you going to tell me why I am going to want to buy the gifts myself – why you are making my decisions for me?  I thought we were going to be equal partners in this deal.” 

 

 “Oh Brian,” Justin told him, “You know full well we are not equal partners at all.  You’re really the boss around here and that’s the way I want it.  I was just going to offer to help you buy your Christmas gifts this year and I was sure that if you had me to help you, you would want to buy your gifts yourself.  Buying them yourself will help put you in the Christmas spirit.  This is going to be the best Christmas of my life and I want so much for it to be the best Christmas of your life too.”  

 

“It will be, Baby,” Brian answered him, “If you knew my Christmases Past, you’d know that won’t be hard.”

 

  “Brian,” Justin sympathized, “I know you’re mad at me but could I please kiss you.”  “Just once,” Brian allowed sternly, but then he was sorry for being so restrictive.

 

“Well, Sunshine, I was going to get your present myself anyhow.  In addition to your Christmas hustler, I was going to get you a year’s membership at the gym.  You don’t need to be so scrawny,” Brian told him.  

 

“I wish you’d forget that hustler business.  That’s a bad memory.  And I’m not scrawny.  I’m slender and sylph-like.  I don’t need to be bulky and muscular like you are.  I’ll bet I wouldn’t have caught you if I hadn’t been slender and sylph-like,” Justin countered.  “You may be right, Sweetheart,” Brian admitted, “Maybe I do like them, er, you, that is, scrawny.”  Brian smiled at Justin and Justin smiled back at him.

  

“Now about your mother,” Justin returned to the subject.  “I always take her an expensive plant.   I didn’t even think I’d be going over there this Christmas but after Thanksgiving I guess I, er, we, will be welcome,” Brian stated.  

 

“Brian,” Justin warned him, “A flower is not enough.  I drew a picture of you for you to give your mother because she liked my stuff that she saw at Deb’s one day.  It’s here under the couch.”  Justin pulled out the 8x10 sketch of Brian and showed it to him.  

 

“Jeez, Justin,” Brian marveled, “I can’t believe this.  I can’t murder you.  I’d be depriving the world of one of its 21st century masters.  But I didn’t pose for this.”  “I don’t ever need you to pose, Brian.  Every inch of you is etched in my brain.  Actually I also did a nude of you on a bearskin rug for myself, with a copy for Mel and Linz.”  

 

Brian grabbed Justin and now it was Justin’s turn to be restrictive.  “Brian, we’ve got business to attend to,” he cautioned.  “You bet we do,” Brian enthused.  

 

“Don’t be such a sex fiend, Brian,” Justin laughed.  “Right as always, Sunshine, I’ll never be a sex fiend again,”

Brian laughed back.

 

 “Gee whiz, Brian,” Justin remonstrated, “You don’t have to go overboard on everything I say.  Now your mother also needs a navy blue sweater to go with the new dress she just bought herself.”  

 

”How the hell do you know my mother bought a new dress and needs a navy blue sweater to go with it?”  Brian cried, “She actually seems to like me for the first time in my life but I don’t know anything about a new dress – or a sweater.  You’ve been talking to her on the phone, haven’t you?”  

 

“No,” Justin admitted, “I saw her.”  “At church, I suppose?” Brian inquired.  “I stopped over to see her at her place a couple of times.  She loves you, Brian.  She really does.  She doesn’t know how to show it, just like you didn’t know how to show it,” Justin said.  

 

“Well, she will now,” Brian laughed, “She’s been visited by the god of love just like I was.  I didn’t remember that his name was Justin though.”  

 

“Don’t be silly Brian.  The god of love is Cupid, a little naked baby with a bow and arrow.”  Justin was immediately sorry that he had said that but it was too late.  “That’s it, Sunshine.” Brian exulted, “Tomorrow I’m going to the sporting goods store for your Christmas present.  A bow and arrow.  The rest of it we can take care of right here – and what about now?”  

 

“Well, I guess there’s still nine days till Christmas.  We could probably work on the list tomorrow,” Justin replied. “Maybe Christmas is closer than you think,” Brian suggested as he threw his arms under Justin and picked him up.

 

Brian and Justin were awake a good part of the night, thinking about Christmas.  Justin was late for class the next morning and Brian was late for work.

 

On the way out of the loft that morning, Justin said that he expected Brian to help him with his own Christmas shopping.  “Except for your gift,” Justin said.  

 

“What can you get the man who has everything?” Brian wanted to know.  

 

“You like nice clothes so that’s what you’ll be getting.  And you’ll like them too.  Emmett is going to help me pick them.”  “Emmett!” Brian screamed as the slender sylph-like kid slipped out the door.  If Brian had caught him, they would have probably been a few hours later getting to that day’s tasks.

 

When Brian got to work, Cynthia looked at him and then the clock.  “I see you spent a lot of time telling that little manipulator off. Give me the list and I’ll get the gifts you need for you,” she snickered.  

 

“I have decided to get them myself.  I have decided – me.  I have decided,” Brian insisted.  

 

“Keep telling yourself that until you believe it,” Cynthia went on, “But Brian, if Justin ever decides to go into advertising, hire him, or we’ll be out of business in six months.”


	8. Chapter 8 - Santa Claus is Coming to Town

It was two days before Christmas.  Justin was pacing nervously back and forth in the loft.  Brian was singing “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” in a voice that might have sent Santa flying in the opposite direction.  

 

“I’m scared,” Justin told Brian.  “You have to learn to say ‘No,’” Brian answered during a pause in his singing.  “You’re right, just like you always are, Brian. Next time you…,” Justin said.  “Forget it! Don’t go there!” Brian countered, “You agreed to play Santa Claus.  You didn’t choose to consult my expert advice.  Now you have a problem I could have saved you from.”

 

Daphne was on her way over with the Santa Claus suit.  She had been delegated to find a Santa Claus for the Christmas party in the wing of Childrens’ Hospital where she volunteered.  In a short two hours, Justin was going to be jolly old St. Nicholas for 30 young sick patients.  It sounded like fun when he told Daphne he would do it but the idea terrified him now.  Brian resumed “Santa Claus is Coming to Town.”  

 

“You’re mean,” Justin told him.  “Would it be better if I were on pitch?” Brian asked.  “No,” Justin answered, “But it would be better if I hadn’t fallen in love with a sadist.”  “You didn’t fall in love with a sadist,” Brian shot back, “You fell in love with a kind, caring guy, and then you turned him into a sadist.”  Justin smiled but he was still frightened out of his wits.

 

The buzzer sounded from downstairs.  Justin jumped six feet.  It was Daphne.  She came up to the loft bearing a large box.  “Get into this suit, Justin.  Then we’ll help you with the beard,” she said.  

 

“I would be glad to help but the big star here would accuse me of torturing him if I do,” Brian declined.  Justin took the box and unhappily headed into the bedroom to put it on.  Brian sang “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” a little louder so that Justin could still hear it while he dressed, but his pitch was unimproved.  

 

After a few quiet minutes, Justin cried, “Daphne,” and emerged into the room, finishing, “This suit doesn’t fit.  It’s too big.”  He was obviously right.  The arms of the suit were four inches too long; the pants bulged; and Justin looked like the funniest Santa ever.  “This suit isn’t the one I tried on,” he wailed, “Everyone will laugh at me.”  

 

“Shit,” Daphne said, “I brought the wrong suit.  We’ll never make it if I go back and get the right one and you can’t play Santa in that suit.”  Then she turned her eyes toward Brian.  “Hey Brian,” she said, ”You could do it.”  Brian stopped singing “Santa Claus is Coming to Town.”  

 

“Yes Brian,” Justin chimed in, “You could do it. You would be perfect.  Those kids have to have a Santa Claus, and you’ve got to do it.  I’ll get this suit off and then you can put it on.”  “I won’t,” Brian started to say.  “Yes you will,” Justin commanded in his most authoritative voice.  It almost scared Brian.  Then Justin began to sing “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” in way better pitch than Brian could have ever achieved.

 

The suit fit Brian so well that he began to think he was the victim of a plot.  “This stomach pillow is not comfortable,” he grumbled. “Look in the mirror,” Justin laughed, “That may be you in ten years.  Maybe this is a warning.”  “Cut it out.” Brian demanded.  

 

“I’m just so sorry that I can’t be a part of this festive occasion,” Justin whined humorously.  “Wait a minute,” Daphne remembered, “You can, Justin.  Jimmy O’Neil got sick so I have a spare elf costume in the trunk of the car. I’ll go get it.”  “Don’t bother, Daff,” Justin told her.  “Bother, Daff,” Brian ordered, “Go get the little elf suit and we’ll see if it fits the real-life little elf.  “I won’t,” Justin started to say.  “Oh yes you will,” Brian declared in a voice that told Justin that, oh yes, he would.  The elf outfit seemed like it had been tailor made for him and Justin began to think he was the victim of a plot.  He wouldn’t put it past Brian and Daphne to set him up.

 

So Daphne and two grumbling bringers of Christmas cheer eventually climbed aboard the elevator.  Brian and Justin hoped that none of the other residents of the building would see them as they left.  They were lucky.  None did.  

 

But there is good luck and there is bad luck.  When they opened the door to go out, they were face to face with the three kings: Michael, Ted, and Emmett, bearing gifts.  “Hi Santa,” Michael chirped, and then came the moment of recognition.  He howled: “Brian. Brian Kinney.  Our own big, bad Brian with his little elf.”  Ted added: “I always thought of you as the Santa Claus type, Brian.”  

 

Emmett pretended that nothing was out of the ordinary.  Perhaps he didn’t notice anything out of the ordinary.  “We thought we would deliver our Christmas gifts early, guys.  We hope we’re not inconveniencing you,” he said.  

 

Brian gritted his teeth and faked a smile.  “We are leaving now to bring Christmas cheer to the world,” he announced, “You are welcome here but we must not be delayed.  Dear Michael has a key.  You may leave your gifts and we thank you.  Our gifts to you will come down the chimney.  You can only hope they don’t explode.”

 

 As Daphne and the two Christmas icons climbed into the car, Brian in the back because he couldn’t fit in the front, the gift bearing Magi became a holiday chorus.  Our heroes drove off to the strains of “Santa Claus is Coming to Town.”

 

And they got to Childrens’ Hospital on time.  The party went perfectly.  The kids were delighted.  Justin was the jolliest of elves.  There were two others in competition.  Brian was proclaimed the best Santa in recent history.  Brian and Justin, as their alter egos Santa Claus and Elf-man, were asked to make unscheduled visits to children in other wings of the hospital and they gladly agreed.  They were nearly two hours behind schedule leaving the hospital but they were a happy pair as Daphne drove then home.  This was the stuff of which Christmas legends are fashioned.

 

Later that evening, Brian and Justin sat before the fire in their electric fireplace.  “Today was one of the greatest times of my life,” Justin said, “Those kids were so great.  You were great, Brian. I love doing things with you.”

 Brian smiled suggestively.  “Not that, Brian…Oh, that too, yes, that too… but other things.”  “Like being Santa Claus and his trusty elf?” Brian wondered.  “Yes, like that,” Justin answered.  They pulled themselves closer together.  

 

“This is going to be the best Christmas of my life,” Justin exulted.  “Wait till you see your present, Sweetie,” Brian laughed, “I reserved you a hustler.”  “Oh Brian,” Justin declared, “You’re hopeless.”  “Then why do you keep on trying if I’m so hopeless?” Brian questioned.  “Because you’re oh so worth it,” Justin responded.  They couldn’t pull themselves any closer together so they tightened their grip on one another and just sat there for a while.  They didn’t need to talk.  They didn’t want to talk

 

Silence can’t last forever though.  “Brian,” Justin finally said, “I hope you won’t be mad….” Brian stopped him there.  “Sunshine,” you promised me that we would spend Christmas Eve alone together.  You know we’ll be out most of Christmas day.  If you messed that up….”  

 

“Remember all the times I wanted us to spend time alone together and you wouldn’t,” Justin reminded him.  “Ancient history,” Brian retorted, “That was then. This is now.  You didn’t…”   “No, I didn’t,” Justin said. “Why do you always presume I’ll do the wrong thing?”  Brian just rolled his eyes.  No answer was the best answer to that.  

 

So Justin continued: “Maybe it’s worse than that.   I told Daphne we would do it again next year.”  Brian just looked at Justin.  Justin looked back at Brian.  “Say something, Brian,” Justin pleaded.  Brian smiled.  “So did I,” he said.

 

Justin grabbed Brian and kissed him and Brian kissed him back.  It was like a competition with no losers.  During this kissing marathon, Brian stopped long enough to whisper in Justin’s ear: “I also volunteered you for Easter Bunny.”  Justin whispered back: “I already tried on that costume.  It’s too big.”  


	9. Chapter 9 - Great Gifts

It was the day after Christmas.  The time was mid-afternoon but Brian had the fake fire aglow in the loft.  They had some social engagements scheduled for the evening and Brian wanted to have his blond twink to himself for a while.  But the blond twink was still puttering around in the bedroom.  “Hurry up, Sunshine.  I’m lonely,” Brian called, “If you’re not out here in one minute, I’m coming in there after you.”

 

 “Then we might not make it back to the fireplace at all,” Justin laughed, as he bounced into the room  “And we wouldn’t want that, now, would we?”  

 

Brian turned to respond to that wisecrack with one of his own.  What he said though was “Augkkk” or something that sounded like that.  “What the hell are you wearing?” he asked Justin when his command of the English language returned.  

 

“You know what it is, Brian.  It’s the shirt that Emmett gave me for Christmas,” Justin replied, “It is so special that I’m only going to wear it for you.  Nobody else will ever see it.  Isn’t that romantic?”  

 

“What do you call that color?” Brian choked out.  “It’s fuchsia, Brian,” Justin told him, “But it’s the green stars on it that make it so special.  It’s warm and comfortable.  Don’t you like it?”  

 

“I feel like coming over there and tearing it off you,” Brian replied, getting to his feet from his comfortable position on the floor.  “It seems to me you want to tear my clothes off whatever I wear,” Justin smiled at him coyly, “Don’t you like any of my clothes?”  

 

“Probably not,” Brian admitted, “But you’re putting me on, Baby.  You are not going to get away with it.  You’re not to old to spank, you know?”  “Yeah,” Justin responded, “Well just try it.” 

 

 “I remember you saying that once before, and if Melanie and Linz hadn’t walked in and saved you…,” Brian reminded him, “I’ll put the dead bolt on the door this time and there won’t be anyone or anything to save you.”

 

  Justin started to laugh.  “I was as mad as you were about Melanie and Lindsey walking in,” he said, “But it would be really funny this time.”  “Funny?” Brian wondered.  “Yeah, Honey. Actually hilarious, I think,” Justin sputtered as he laughed all the harder.  

 

Justin clapped his hands and the loft was bathed in light.  He clapped again and the light was gone.  “Remember our present from Ted.  Clap on, clap off,” Justin laughed, “I have it connected to the main lighting system.  I wanted to surprise you.”  

 

“Life with you is always a surprise,” Brian kissed his precious kid, “But I love it and I love you.  Now can we sit down and cuddle a bit?”  “I thought you’d never ask,” Justin replied.  “I thought I’d never get the chance to ask.” Brian grumped.

 

They sat there in silence for a while.  They liked to do that.  Just being together was enough for them.

 

“Did you water the Chia Pet Debbie gave us?”  Brian asked eventually.  “I forgot,” Justin told him, “You were hurrying me to get out here and I forgot so it’s not all my fault.”  “Nothing ever is,” Brian stated, “But if it doesn’t get watered, the stuff won’t grow on it.  You did say you would take care of the watering.”  

 

“I think I must be giddy today but I do think it’s funny that the great Brian Kinney is worried about the Chia Pet,” Justin remarked.  “What makes you so giddy, I wonder?” Brian said, “It must be your callow youth.”  “It’s love,” Justin said.  “Then you can be as giddy as you want to,” Brian responded, feeling a little giddy himself.

.

There followed another period of silence.  Brian had a sort of agenda though so it was he who broke the spell again.

“You know, Baby.  I loved all the things you got me for Christmas, and I have learned a lot about gift buying but maybe next year it would be better if you helped Ted, Emmett and Mikey.” Brian suggested, “I think I’m ready to go out on my own, not that I wouldn’t be delighted to have you go with me.”  

 

“You didn’t enjoy going shopping with me.” Justin accused him.  “That’s not it at all, Sweetheart,” Brian defended himself, “I’m just thinking of how much help you could be to the other guys.”  Justin just stared at Brian, who decided, really against his better judgment, to expand upon his statement,  “I just loved our first two shopping trips but I was a little tired for the fifth and sixth ones.”  

 

The addition was not an improvement.  “That just goes to show that you don’t know the difference between shopping and buying,” Justin explained,  “You would go out and buy things on the first trip.  You have good taste and a feel for what different people would like so you could get away with that, but shopping is an art.  It takes time and you can’t do it in just one quick trip.  Want me to go into detail again?”  “Oh sure,” Brian told him, “But maybe we should wait until just before next Christmas so it will be fresh in my mind.”  

 

Justin just looked at him suspiciously so Brian made another addition, “I really treasure your advice, Baby.  You know I never take any pills now that are not prescribed by a physician or recommended by a reliable pharmacist.”  That worked.  Justin laughed at him and then leaned over and kissed him.  “You’re making me giddy,” he told Brian.

 

After another period of silence, Brian spoke again.  Persistence worked for Justin so Brian was willing to try it himself.  “I bought all my gifts for you myself, Sunshine, and you said they were all great.  I’m sorry Emmett saw that shirt before I did,” he told Justin, “Or I could have had the pleasure of getting you that too.”  

 

“All your presents were great Brian,” Justin answered, “You are really a great guy.  I know I’m the luckiest kid in the world.”  

 

“I’ll bet I know which one you like best,” Brian challenged.  “Which one do you think?” Justin asked, crossing his fingers, “I’m not so sure I know myself which one I like best.  They were all so nice.”  

 

“The remote control for the fireplace, of course,” Brian replied,  “No more walking over there and flicking the switch.  Just a push of your finger from over here and it’s on, and you can control the flames too from way over here.”  

 

“Well it works well since Melanie fixed the connections and it does what it’s supposed to do,” Justin said, “But it was more fun yesterday with your connections.  It wouldn’t turn the fireplace on but from here it turned on the television and from over there it turned on the burglar alarm siren.  That sure scared Mikey.”  

 

“It is not my fault that the damn directions were written by somebody who didn’t know English,” Brian insisted.  “Of course it’s not you fault,” Justin laughed, “It never is.” “You know that Melanie speaks Japanese,” Brian defended himself,” “The Japanese directions probably made sense.”  “Except that she never looked at the directions,” Justin countered.  “You’re lucky I love you,” Brian said with a combination smile and scowl.  “I know,” Justin responded, “We are in complete agreement on that.”

 

Brian decided that cuddling in silence was the best thing they could do but there was one more issue that had to be discussed.

 

“I hate that shirt, Baby,” Brian said, “Can I tear it off of you right now so we can get rid of it?  That’s all it’s good for.  And you’re right.  You don’t need it.  You’re so young and beautiful that anybody would want to tear any shirt off of you.”  

 

“What a nice thing for you to say Brian,” Justin countered, “But it’s a gift from Emmett and I want to keep it.  I may not get much use out of it but I do want to keep it for its sentimental value.”  

 

“That may be the best thing then,” Brian teased him, “You won’t always be young and beautiful.  Maybe you’ll need it some day to inspire somebody to tear off your shirt.”  

 

“That is so true, Brian,” Justin teased him back.  “I’ll show you where I keep it.  You may need to borrow it long before I need to wear it again.”

Then Justin embraced Brian.  “You know I’m kidding, I hope,” Justin said, “I will always want you, and I’ll be here as long as you want me.”  “You probably mean ‘As long as I need you,’” Brian answered.  Justin began to laugh.  “No, Brian,” he came back, “I meant it just the way I said it.  I don’t mean to be laughing so much though.  I’m sorry I’m so giddy.”

 “I’m not,” Brian told him.        ****


	10. Chapter 10 - New Year's Eve

Brian and Justin had enjoyed a very happy Christmas.  Dinner at Debbie’s was a huge success.  The usual crowd attended but Brian was surprised that his mother was also among the guests.  Debbie had known Brian’s mother since Michael and Brian were in high school together.  While Debbie was not particularly fond of Joan Kinney, she was glad that Brian and his mother seemed to be getting along better than ever since they had met on Thanksgiving Day.  Justin had told Debbie about that, and also that he thought Brian was pleased to have gained his mother’s acceptance and that it meant something to Brian to have his mother back in his life.  Debbie was glad to help out where she could.  She had always thought of Brian as a second son – maybe a black sheep – but she wanted him to be happy.

  

Now Justin and Brian were positioned in front of their fake fireplace reliving the recent past and thinking about the near future.  “You ate too much,” Brian told Justin.  “They didn’t run out of anything,” Justin pointed out.  “That’s only because I dragged you away from the table in time,” Brian insisted.  

 

“You’re picking on me,” Justin complained.  “I know,” Brian admitted, “ I like to pick on you.  Then I’m sure you’re noticing me.”  “I don’t really mind,” Justin admitted back, “As long as it’s you.”

  

“Do you have a date for New Year’s Eve yet, Sunshine,” Brian asked.  “No,” Justin replied, “But there is this guy I’d like to have ask me.”  Brian smiled and asked: “What will you do if he doesn’t?”  “Then I guess I’ll be stuck at home with you,” Justin smiled back at him. 

 

“Sunshine, you are a brat,” Brian laughed.  “But am I your brat?” Justin asked.  “You are,” Brian admitted, “And I’d like to have the pleasure of your company this New Year’s Eve.”  “I thought you’d never ask,” Justin said, adding: “I’m still free for next New Year’s Eve, too.”  “Sunshine,” Brian answered, “I’d like the pleasure of your company for the next one-hundred New Year’s Eves.”  “You’re on,” Justin declared enthusiastically, “With an option for the hundred after that.”  

 

“You may be sorry,” Brian warned him, “ Scheduling that far ahead.”  “No I won’t,” Justin answered, “I’ll never be sorry.”

 

They were about to embrace when the telephone rang.  “Sounds like Mikey’s ring,” Justin said.  “We’ll see, mind reader,” Brian laughed.  “Hi. Mikey,“ he spoke into the telephone.  

 

“How did you know it was me?” Michael asked, “Am I the only one dumb enough to call you?”  “Oh no,” Brian answered,  “The resident mind reader is at work.”  

 

“What are you guys doing New Year’s Eve?” Michael wanted to know.  “Don’t know yet,” Brian replied, “I just got a date.”  Michael laughed: “With anybody I know.”  “Some blond twink,” Brian responded, “Can’t remember his name.  You know how bad I am with names.” 

 

“You’re weird, Brian,” Michael said, “I don’t know how Justin puts up with you.  On second thought I think I do know.  You’re both weird.”  “Have you told him yet?” Michael whispered to Brian.  

 

“Told me what, Told me what?” Justin cried from across the room.  “You couldn’t have heard that from over there.  You’re not Superman,” Brian said.  “No, but I am the resident mind reader, a skill I learned from Rage,” Justin answered, “Tell me what.” 

 

“He heard you Mikey,” Brian told Michael, “ And no, I haven’t told him and I don’t know if I will.  He can just read my mind.”  “That would be easy if it weren’t so muddled up,” Justin called.    

 

“Would you two do your weird stuff on your own time? You guys make me dizzy.” Michael pleaded, “ The gang is going to celebrate New Year’s Eve at Babylon.  Ben and me are doing the calling around.  Emmett and Ted are coming.  Mel and Lindsey are coming because women are allowed, and I think my mom and Uncle Vic will come too, as guests.  Carl is on duty so he won’t be there.  Can you guys come?”  

 

“First of all,” Brian answered, “You don’t need anybody to make you dizzy.  Second, it’s just as well Carl is on duty.  We don’t need any cops at Babylon. And, third, I’ll have to consult the resident mind reader.”  “It’s OK with me if you want to go to Babylon on New Year’s Eve,” Justin interrupted from across the room, “Any place with you.  Sounds like fun.”  “We’ll be there,” Brian told Michael, “The twink says it’s OK.  I wish I could remember his name.”  “See you there then, if not before,” Michael closed, “ I’m glad to get off the phone with you nuts.”

 

Justin ran across the room, threw his arms around Brian and kissed him.  “Now tell me,” he insisted.  

 

“We’re not going to drink very much on New Year’s Eve,” Brian said.  “That’s OK with me, too,” Justin replied, “Who needs a drunken fool for a boy friend?  But that is not it, Brian.”  “It’s the first part of it, Sunshine,” Brian told him.  

 

“Well get to the second part,” Justin demanded, “My patience is wearing thin.”  “Well, just feed it a plate of spaghetti.  That’s you’re usual solution.  We’re not drinking much on New Year’s Eve because we don’t want to be hung over on New Year’s Day,” Brian said. 

“You are exasperating, Brian,” Justin howled,  “That’s not it either.  You will have to tell me eventually because….”  “No threats please.  I’m surprised you haven’t figured it out yourself.  When does your winter break at the Institute end?” Brian asked.  “January 13th.  You know that,” Justin grouched,” Why are you trying to change the subject?”  

 

“I’m not trying to change the subject,” Brian countered laughingly, “I’m trying to give you a hint but you’re not your usual brilliant self today.  I’m off till January 13th too.  There is space available at Snowboard Heaven and our plane leaves at noon on New Year’s Day.”  

 

Justin screamed with delight.  “I thought we couldn’t go till spring break,” he exclaimed.  Spring break is late this year and we have a better chance for snow now.  I didn’t want you to be disappointed like last year so I just took the time off to go now.  If you like it, we can go back again on spring break.”  

 

Justin kissed him again, “I’m so excited,” he cried, “I love you Brian.”  “I know,” Brian assured him.  “Even though you can be thoroughly exasperating a good bit of the time,” Justin continued.  “I know, “ Brian answered.  Brian got the last word, he thought.

 

So they just sat there for a while, watching the fake flames leap about the fireplace.  Then Justin said: “I’m going to make a New Year’s resolution, Brian.”  “Am I supposed to ask what it is, and then you won’t tell me, I guess.  Well, what is it?” Brian responded.  “Of course I’m going to tell you what it is.  I’m not mean like you,” Justin took umbrage, ”I’m going to resolve always to stay calm and not let you get to me, and I’m not going to pick on you all through the year.”  

 

“Well that sounds good to me,” Brian replied, “Life will be a lot calmer around here.”  “Wanna know something else, Brian?”  Justin asked.  “Sure,” Brian said.  “I’ve never in my whole life been able to keep a resolution past January 2nd,” Justin crowed.


	11. Chapter 11 - New Year, Old Stuff

It was Friday, January 10, 2003, by the calendar, Brian noted.  He and Justin had returned the previous evening from their snow-boarding excursion to Vermont.  Brian was a bit stiff from the experience but he had not mentioned this to Justin who seemed no worse for wear.  Justin was still asleep.  “Well,” he thought, “Us old guys may get stiff muscles but we need less sleep, so there’s some advantage.” He wasn’t sure he believed himself though.  Then the phone rang.  It was Michael.  

 

“Where the hell were you?” he asked Brian, “You were due back Wednesday.  I was worried.”  “Mikey, Just take it easy.  You aren’t the chief nag in my life any more,” Brian answered, “We e-mailed Ted and Emmett that we were staying an extra day.  If you didn’t still live in the stone ages, we could have e-mailed you.”  

 

“You must not have had such a good time in Vermont to be so grouchy,” Michael suggested.  “Oh no, we had a great time.  That’s why we stayed over an extra day,” Brian told him, “We might have stayed longer but the room was booked for the weekend so here we are, back home again.”  

 

“What did you do up there?” Mikey asked.  “What do you think we did on a snow-boarding vacation?  We argued all day and made up all night, just like we do here.  And we did a little snow boarding too,” Brian answered.  

 

“I would have liked to see you on a snowboard.  You don’t seem like the snow-boarding type to me.  Justin, yes, but I’ll bet you were a sight.” Michael laughed.  “You are presuming on my good nature, Novotny.  Justin does that too, pretty often.  Just because I’m so nice,” Brian warned him, “Remember Dr.Jekyll was nice too but he turned into Mr. Hyde from time to time.  “Sorry, Mikey, I didn’t mean to quote literature at you, knowing how illiterate you are.”  

 

“OK, smart ass, you don’t think I know who Jekyll and Hyde are.  Well, I’m not as illiterate as you might think,” Michael countered, “They were Classics Comics, Number 47, March, 1943, $800 in fair condition, no known copies in mint condition and if there were any, they’d have to be auctioned off because nobody can guess what someone would pay for one.  But that’s not even in a league with Ivanhoe, Classics Comics, Number 33, January, 1942, That’s….”  

 

“Shut up, Mikey, I feel Mr. Hyde emerging right now,” Brian slightly raised his voice.  “Well I was just proving I wasn’t illiterate,” Michael pouted.

 

At that moment, Justin appeared on the scene.  “You don’t look so stiff this morning,” he greeted Brian, “Who’s on the phone?”  “Professor Novotny of the literature department at Comic Book College,” Brian told him. ”Oh,” Justin said, “I want to talk to him.  He must have moved to Comic Book College.  Last I knew he was lecturing at Carnegie Mellon.”  

 

Brian was feeling like he was being picked on as he handed the phone to Justin.  “Mikey,” Justin told him,” I need you to decide an argument Brian and I had in Vermont.  I made a New Year’s resolution not to pick on him this year.  I know I broke it on January 5, but that would be a new record for me.  He claims I actually broke it on January 2, because I laughed at him when he fell off the snow-board for the fifth time in a row.  I maintain that laughing is not picking on somebody and even if it is, he was deliberately trying to get me to break my resolution because nobody could be so clumsy as to fall off a snow-board five times in a row.”  Brian knew all this was in fun but he glared because he knew he was supposed to.  

 

“You know, that’s one of the more serious disputes you two have had,” Michael deemed, “I wouldn’t want to take the responsibility of deciding this one myself.  How about we involve Ted and Emmett in this too and get a majority decision.”  “That’s a good idea if you think it’s that serious.  We want a correct ruling,” Justin replied, “I better sign off now.  I think my beloved Brian wants to talk to me.  See you soon.”

 

When the phone was hung up, Brian looked ominously at Justin.  “I warned Mikey about Mr. Hyde, and I guess I better warn you too,” he began.  “Mr. Hyde?” Justin asked.  “Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde,” Brian responded, “Don’t you know them either, even with 1500 on the SAT?”  

 

“Of course I know Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde,” Justin defended himself, “That was a really great movie, and really old with some really ancient actors.  I think Spencer Tracy and Ingrid Bergman were their names.  They were supposed to be big stuff in the real old days.  Daphne’s father was in the movie distributing business and he brought that movie home every Halloween.  It scared us shitless.”  

 

“You’re lucky to have me around to enlighten you, Sunshine.  Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde was a famous book by Charles Dickens,” Brian gloated.  

 

“Robert Louis Stevenson,” Justin said.  “What?” Brian asked.  “It was Robert Louis Stevenson who wrote Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.  By the way, you’ve never mentioned your SAT scores.”

 

Justin eluded Brian’s grasp and sped to the opposite side of the loft.  The loft was too small for easy escape and Brian finally grabbed him.  “You little weasel,” Brian rejoiced, “I’ve got you now and you’re going to be sorry.”  “No, I’m not,” Justin retorted.  “You don’t know what I’m going to do to you now that you’re in my clutches,” Brian laughed.  “No, I don’t,” Justin agreed, “But I know I’m not going to be sorry.”  He kissed Brian who kissed him back before picking him up and carrying him to the place of execution.   But Justin was right.  He was not sorry.

That evening, the pair were nestled on the floor in front of the couch, under their blanket and watching the flames jump around in their electric fireplace.  “This is our first evening together in 2003 in our own place.  This is going to be the best year of my life,” Justin said.  “If you live through it,” Brian countered.  “I will.  I have you to protect me,” Justin pointed out.  “Yes, you do,” Brian agreed with his blond twink.  He leaned over and kissed Justin on the cheek. 

 

“Thanks, Brian,” Justin said.  “For something I’ve done or something I don’t know about yet that I’m going to do,” Brian wondered.  “For staying home with me tonight,” Justin answered, “I know you wanted to go to Babylon to see the gang.  We’ll go tomorrow.  I really wanted us to be alone together tonight.”  

 

“What’s so special about tonight?” Brian asked.  “Don’t you listen to me, Hon?” Justin questioned,  “It’s our first evening of the new year in our own home.”  “So?” Brian wanted to know.  “Brian, you are the most unsentimental person in the world.” Justin seemed exasperated, “If you had an ounce of sentiment in your soul, you’d know what I am talking about.”  Brian did know what the kid was talking about, so he figured maybe he did have some sentiment in his soul, but he decided not to let that be known.

 

“Did you really enjoy the expedition, Baby?” Brian asked.  “It was the best week of my life,” Justin smiled at him, “But it did make me remember last year.  Remember when I ran off to New York and you came after me.  I bragged that I had been out on the town and then confessed that I hadn’t left the hotel room.  Brian, I didn’t go snow-boarding once during that whole week last year.  I sat in the room the whole time hoping you would come after me, or at least call and order me to come home.  Why didn’t you?”  

 

“I wanted to come up after you.  I really did,” Brian said, “I should have. I was angry and hurt, I guess.  I should have come up after you though.  It was a mistake not to.”  

 

“Not nearly as big a mistake as I made in going up without you,” Justin responded, “How can people who love each other do such dumb things to each other?”  “Because people aren’t perfect, Sunshine,” Brian answered him, “The best we can hope is that we learn from our mistakes, and we do and we will.”  

 

“I think you’re perfect, Brian.  I love you because you’re absolutely perfect.”  Brian pulled his beloved kid closer, and whispered in his ear, “I love you too, and I’m sure you won’t be picking on me this year because I’m perfect.”  

 

“Well you weren’t listening carefully enough. Love of my life,” Justin clarified things, “I said you were perfect.  I’m not.”        


	12. Chapter 12 - Looking Back

 There was no January thaw in Pittsburgh.  It had been cold and icy just about every day of the month so the fireplace was welcome for the heat it provided.  It did not always provide significant discussion between the residents of the loft but often it did.  So some nights were just for cuddling and others were for talking.  Brian and Justin enjoyed both kinds of nights but this one was of the latter variety.

 

“Well the holidays are over, Sunshine.  I had a great time,” Brian told Justin, “I hope you did too.”  “Well I didn’t get the hustler you promised,” Justin smiled at him”  “You know, Baby, I like to joke about the hustler,” Brian answered him, “But I don’t think I like you joking about a hustler.  I don’t like the thought of you with anybody else so I guess I’m the only hustler I want you to get.”  

 

“You didn’t always think that,” Justin laughed, “And you’re not a hustler, but if I can have you, I don’t want anybody else.”  “That suits me fine,” Brian responded, “But for once can we have a serious discussion.  I really want to know what was the best thing about the holidays for you.”  “You,” Justin told him.  

 

“But you had me before the holidays and you still have me now,” Brian replied, “I’m talking about the holidays.”  “So am I,” Justin maintained.

   

“I don’t know how anybody can be so lovable as you are and still so aggravating,” Brian pretended to grouch, “You know I like what you’re saying but you are not answering the question I asked.  I’ve learned a lot from you, like your dogged persistence, and I’m going to get the answers I’m asking for if it takes me all night.”

 

  “You’re tough, Mr. Kinney,” Justin teased him, “But I long for the old days when you were ‘ridiculously romantic.’”  “And you are a handful, Mr. Taylor,” Brian scowled, “But I’m going to win this one.”

 

“Just like you always do, Brian,” Justin gave in, “I enjoyed everything we did during the holidays.  It was the best Christmas season of my life.  But I would not have enjoyed any of it without you.  If you’ll accept that, maybe we can talk about the details.”  

 

“I guess I have won then,” Brian crowed.  “So what’s new about that, Brian?  You’re the boss, so whatever you want is always what we do,” Justin replied, but Brian couldn’t read the smile on Justin’s face.  “So I always win and I’m always right?” Brian declared.  “Yep,” Justin answered.  Brian decided it would be best not to look this particular gift horse in the mouth.

 

“Well I would never have believed it if I hadn’t lived it but playing Santa Claus was a real kick,” Brian said,   “Mikey and the gang couldn’t believe it either.  Mikey says you must be a witch to get me to do something like that.”  

 

“I had nothing to do with it.  You volunteered when the suit was too big for me,” Justin told him.  “Is that how it happened?” Brian asked.  “That’s how it happened.  I’m surprised you don’t remember, but you don’t seem to have that good of a memory.  You couldn’t even remember my name when you first met me,” Justin pointed out.  “I don’t remember that,” Brian answered.  “See what I mean,” Justin chortled.  “Baby, I remembered your name from the first time I met you, but you didn’t need to know that then,” Brian responded, “But don’t change the subject.  We were talking about the holidays.”

 

“The kids at the hospital were wonderful, and you were so good with them,” Justin told Brian, “I know you can do anything you want to, but I was still really impressed.”  

 

“Maybe I got the Christmas spirit from the shopping we did together,” Brian said. “I don’t remember ever having done any Christmas shopping before and I know I never had any holiday spirit before.  And I guess I have to admit you were right about decorating the loft too.”  

 

“The loft was beautiful, Brian, and most of it was your work,” Justin answered.  “But you made me do it, Sunshine.  I’ve been in this loft six years now and it has never been decorated before.  I was so happy when Gus made such a fuss about the lights.  Lindsey said he was more impressed with our place than anywhere else that he visited over the holidays.  Do you think I’ll ever be a really good father?” Brian wondered.  

 

“You already are, Brian,” Justin told him, “And you’re still getting better at the job.”  “I guess I had a lot of experience taking care of you,” Brian commented, smiling at Justin.  “Yeah, you did.  I’ve needed a lot of help in the last few years and no one could have helped me more than you did.  When I didn’t have my father, you were always there.” Justin admitted.  Brian was still wondering about the smile on Justin’s face.  Usually he could read the kid’s mind from his facial expression, but not this time.

 

“I can’t get used to having a relationship with my mother either,” Brian continued, “She seemed so happy to be with us on Christmas.  Now that was a Christmas surprise.  I don’t remember her ever being happy before.  I guess that was your doing too.  I wonder if you could have done anything with my father.  It would have been a tough job but I don’t think I’d bet against you.”  

 

“I didn’t do so well with my own dad,” Justin replied wistfully.  “You just didn’t have enough time, Baby,” Brian reminded him, ”Everything would have worked out if you had just a little more time.”  “Probably,” Justin agreed, “I do wish I could have met your dad though. There must have been something good about him to come up with a son as great as you.”

 

“The guy you met under the lamppost was Jack Kinney’s son, Sunshine,” Brian said, “I don’t know that I like that Brian Kinney very much any more.  I think I’m a lot different now and you are responsible for the change.” Brian put his arms around his little blond twink and held him as close as he could.  Neither of them said anything.  They just sat for a while gazing at the flames darting around in the fireplace.

They weren’t saying anything but they were thinking

 

It was Brian who eventually broke the silence.  “You are going to have to beware, Sunshine.  I am getting better at figuring you out,” he told Justin, “I’m soon going to be able to read you as well as you read me.”  “What are you talking about, Brian?  What do you think I’ve done now?”  “You’ve made me the happiest guy in the world and given me my first real Christmas,” Brian answered, “That’s what you’ve done.” 

 

Now the tables were turned and there was an enigmatic smile on Brian’s face that Justin could not read.  “Thanks Brian,” he kind of muttered, “Why do I think there may be a ‘however’ coming after that though?”

 

“Sunshine, I can’t remember any discussion we’ve ever had where you didn’t do 75% of the talking, and you are usually very enthusiastic about talking – but tonight you don’t have anything to say at all.  You’re just sitting there letting me rattle on with that silly smile on your face.  I wondered about that,” Brian said.  He continued, “Now I was just thinking how much I enjoyed Christmas this year, and how much I enjoyed watching Gus having fun.  I was thinking it was his first real Christmas.  Straight guys have always told me about how much they enjoyed watching their kids at Christmas time but I didn’t think much of it.  Then I thought to myself that this was my own first real Christmas too, and when I looked over at you, I could read that smile.  You’re being the Dad this time around, aren’t you?”

“Don’t be mad at me Brian,” Justin pleaded, “It was just that you seemed to be enjoying things so much - things that I was used to at Christmas time.  It was really what I wanted most for this Christmas.  Seeing you so happy was the best thing about this Christmas for me but I wasn’t trying to play the dad or anything….  I hope you’re not mad at me.”

 

Brian faked a scowl and told the kid, “You’re going to get what you deserve.”  But when Brian wrapped his arms around him and whispered “Thanks Dad” in his ear, Justin was pretty sure he was going to like what he deserved.


	13. Chapter 13 - The Skeleton in the Closet

Brian was disturbed as he left the office late one Thursday afternoon.  He had been involved all day in a meeting with some hot-shot New York ad execs.  The meeting was successful and profitable from a business standpoint, but there had been a few surprises.  He wanted to talk to Justin.  They were meeting Michael and Ben, Ted and Emmett at Woody’s for dinner with a possible excursion to Babylon afterwards.  Brian and Justin were not really regulars at Babylon any more but they dropped in occasionally to be with the gang and to renew old acquaintances.

 

It was always a fun time when those six got together.  They always had a lot to talk about and they were all genuinely fond of each other.  Usually Brian was the life of the party but that was not the case on this evening.  He seemed preoccupied.  

 

“What’s the matter, Brian?” Mikey asked him, “Are you feeling all right?”  “Yeah,” Brian replied, “I’m fine.”  “Did the meeting go well today?” Justin wanted to know.  “Yeah,” Brian answered, “We’ll make some real money on the joint venture.”  Everyone sensed that something was wrong with Brian even though he was trying not to show it, but no one had a clue as to what his problem was.

 

After they finished eating, Emmett suggested that they head over to Babylon.  The others all seemed to be ready for that but Brian begged off.  “I think I’ve had enough for tonight,” he told them, “I better go home from here.  I’ll be available for Babylon next week though if anybody’s interested.”  They were interested and they set up another meeting for the next Thursday night.  They were all concerned about Brian.  Michael suggested to Justin that he go home with Brian but that had been Justin’s intention all along.  He knew something was wrong with Brian and he had to at least try to help.

 

Brian didn’t say much on the way home.  Finally Justin said, “Something is bothering you, Brian.  I can tell.”  “Yeah there is,” Brian responded.  “Are you going to tell me about it?” Justin asked.  “Yeah, I am,” Brian told him, but didn’t say more.  The rest of the ride was in silence.  So now there was something bothering Justin too, and he had no idea what it was.

 

When Michael and the others arrived at Babylon, the activity there was in full swing.  The go-gos were grinding, the strobes were flashing, and the crowd was pulsating to a heavy metal rock beat.  They looked around to see whom they knew among the dancers and Michael spotted a familiar but unexpected face.  Mike put two and two together and thought he got four.   “Oh my God,” he said to Ben, “I think I know what Brian’s problem is.  Poor Justin.”

 

At just about the same time, Justin and Brian were entering the loft.  By then, Justin was probably edgier than Brian was.  “I’m going to change clothes,” Brian told Justin, “How about lighting up your wonderful fireplace.  Then we need to talk.”  Justin ransacked his mind as he lit the pseudo fire.  Could he have done something to irritate Brian?  He couldn’t think of anything.  Brian had been his usual self that morning and they hadn’t been together all day.  Still, Justin was convinced that he was somehow involved in Brian’s problem, and that bothered him.

 

“Are you mad at me?” he blurted out as Brian came out of the bedroom.  “I don’t think so. I hope not,” Brian answered, “But let’s sit down and talk.  You can get yourself some marshmallows if you want to.”  Now that reminded Justin of the condemned man getting to choose his last meal so he declined.  As they got as comfortable as possible under the circumstances, under the blanket and facing the fire, Justin tried to prepare himself for whatever was coming.  But he still wasn’t ready for what came.

 

Brian started the discussion.  “I’m sorry if I’m making you nervous, Sunshine.  Let me begin by telling you that I love you now and I will still love you when we’re finished talking, no matter what.”  Brian wasn’t smiling however and Justin really wished that he were.  

 

Then Brian asked him: “Do you know Kip Thomas?”  The only way Justin’s heart could have sunk any farther would have been if he were taller.  “That’s the guy who sued you for sexual harassment,” Justin answered.  “And then for some unknown reason dropped the suit,” Brian finished Justin’s sentence for him, “We talked about that, Sunshine.  You said it was a mystery, and it was a mystery for me.  Was it really a mystery for you?” 

 

 “Why are you asking about that now?” Justin questioned Brian, “That was almost two years ago.”  “Kip Thomas was at the meeting today,” Brian explained, “He’s the executive assistant to the chief honcho at A & B Ads.  At one of the breaks, he congratulated me on my strategy – sending a blond twink to entrap him and then blackmail him into dropping the charges.  How many blond twinks do you think I know?” 

 

 “We didn’t do anything, Brian.  Believe me, we didn’t do anything,” Justin protested, “I just led him on until I thought I had enough on him to get him to drop the suit.  I had to do it.  You were innocent but you could have been found guilty.  You would have lost everything.  I loved you, Brian.  I couldn’t let that happen.”  

 

“I wouldn’t have wanted you to take that kind of a chance for me, Justin.  I wouldn’t have allowed you to do it,” Brian said.  

 

“Brian,” Justin responded, “I have been in a lot of trouble the last few years.  You were always there when I needed somebody.  Even when you were trying to push me away, you were always there when I needed you.  I know you would do anything for me.  I’m not some helpless child.  Let me try to do the same for you.”  

 

“But why didn’t you tell me what you’d done?” Brian wanted to know.  “You’ve already answered that question yourself, Brian,” Justin countered.  “You would have been mad at me and I didn’t want you to be mad at me.  I was kind of scared of you then.  If you were me would you have told you back then?”  

 

Finally, Brian was smiling.  “But you’re not scared of me now? he asked.  “No, I’m not,” Justin smiled back, “But I still hate it when you’re mad at me.”  

 

“Sunshine,” Brian said, “Don’t ever put yourself in a dangerous situation like that for me again.  Let me take care of myself.  That’s an order.”  

 

“You know, I do take orders from  you, Brian.  If you told me to jump out the window, I’d probably jump.  So just keep giving orders whenever you want to, but I’ll decide on my own which ones to follow.  Now I’m going out to get some marshmallows.  Can I take your order for some?”  Brian nodded in amazement.  What a wonderful kid this was.

 

Justin’s cell phone rang at just that minute.  That was a surprise because Justin got very few calls in the loft on his cell phone.  It was Mikey.  “Justin,” he said, “I know what Brian’s problem is.”  “That’s all taken care of,” Justin answered, “Brian just needed someone to tell him a few things and I took care of that.”  

 

When the phone was hung up, Brian asked, “Mikey?”  “Mikey,” Justin confirmed, “A really good friend.”

 

Brian and Justin stayed up late that night, sitting on the floor, holding on to each other and watching the fire.  They didn’t need to say anything and they didn’t for a long time.  Then Justin broke the silence.  It was usually Justin who broke the silence.  “Hon,” he said to Brian, “If you had lost the loft, where would we have put our fireplace?”  “Too bad Kip Thomas was such a wimp,” Brian answered.  He kissed Justin on the head and all was well with Brian and Justin.


	14. Chapter 14 - Spinning Wheels

When Brian sat down on the floor in front of the couch to watch the fake fireplace in action, he found his favorite drink – alcoholic no less - and his favorite crackers laid out for him.  This pleasant surprise sent chills through his body.  Something special was up, he suspected.  Actually he knew that, but he had no idea what it was.  He had tried guessing in these circumstances but that had not proved fruitful, so he knew he had to wait.  Justin was puttering around the kitchen but he soon joined Brian in their accustomed position.  Brian had decided that he was not going to start the discussion.

 

“Did you know that next week is my dad’s birthday?” Justin began, “I miss him, Brian.”  “I know you do,” Brian replied, “But you’re getting over his death pretty well, I think.  You’re just showing how tough you can be, not that everybody didn’t know that already.”  

 

“You know that he left me pretty well off financially, with the big life insurance policy and the huge settlement from the accident,” Justin continued.  “Yeah, and I know he fixed it so you can’t touch the principal till you’re twenty-five, when you’ll be mature enough to make wise decisions – maybe,” Brian retorted.  “But I do get the interest and with what’s coming in from _Rage_ I’m not hurting for income,” Justin maintained.  

 

“Sunshine darling, you are up to something,” Brian accused him,  “Because you insisted, I am letting you pay half of our household expenses.  I didn’t like that but I went along with you.  You wanted to pay rent for part of the loft, and I absolutely refused, and you gave up on that – as much as you ever give up on anything.  If you are going to bring that up again, I think I’ll strangle you or maybe just spank you for being the little monster you can be.”  

 

“You hurt my feelings, Brian,” Justin pretended to pout,  “You know when I make an agreement I stick to it.”  “Well, I guess I do know that,” Brian admitted smilingly, “But I also know you’ve got something up your sleeve.  I’m just going to sip my drink and munch my crackers until you come out with it.  You’ll get no help from me and you’re not going to wear me down before you spring your surprise.”  “And you say I’m tough,” Justin mused.  There was a period of silence after that, presumably for the pair to plot their strategies.

 

Finally Justin decided to go for broke.  “Do not interrupt me, Brian, till I get finished,” he said, “In honor of my dad’s birthday, I want to get a car.  He promised me I could have a car when I went to Dartmouth, but by the time I graduated from the academy, you know how things were.  But we got back together before he died, thanks to you, and I know he’d want me to have my own car.  It’s the least I can do to honor his memory, and he left me plenty of money to do it, so I want to get a car.  What do you think?”  

 

Brian kept his smile inside when he answered, “What does it matter what I think? You’re an adult.  You’ve got the money.  Why does it matter what I think?”  Justin wrapped his arms around Brian’s neck.  Brian liked that and Justin knew it.  

 

“What you think always matters to me.” Justin responded, “You know that and you’re putting me on.  Don’t you see how much easier life will be if I have my own car?  You won’t have to drive me places or lend me your car sometimes.  Daphne’s had her own car for years and she’s just my age.” 

 

“Daphne has more sense than you do and she still used her car to help you stalk me,” Brian told him, “But why do you think I might not want you to get your own car?  It seems to me that ‘s what you’re thinking.”  “Because sometimes you act like an old man,” Justin said, sheepishly.  

 

Brian laughed, “But I am an old man.  What would you expect from an old man?  If you didn’t want an old man around, why didn’t you chase some twink, or even better just stand still and let some twink catch you?  You know I advised you to do that.”  “I got just the guy I wanted, and I’ve never regretted that for one second, until maybe now,” Justin responded.  

 

“Well you think you know me so well,” Brian told him, “You blew it this time.  You’ve wasted a lot of effort, Sweetheart.  I think you should have your own car if you want one.”

 

Justin kissed Brian.  “You’re the greatest, Brian.  That’s why I love you.  I know just what I want, too.  A little tiny red two-seater that goes from 0 to 100 in 5 seconds,” he shouted.  Justin was smiling broadly now, but Brian wasn’t.  

 

“A tiny red two-seater that goes from 0 to 100 in 5 seconds?” Brian repeated, “Why a tiny red two-seater that goes from 0 to 100 in 5 seconds?  Why a car that I probably won’t fit into?  Why a car that I’ll be worried about while I’m sitting alone at home till midnight wondering where the hell you are?”  

 

“Gee Whiz, Brian,” Justin answered, “You sound like you don’t want me to have the car I want.  It would really impress the crowd at school.  Everyone would want to go riding with me.”  “Oh, so you’re going to be looking for some good-looking guy – or maybe girl – to go riding with, are you?” Brian suggested.  

 

“You’ll be safer if it’s a girl,” Justin taunted.  “And so will you be if it’s a girl I see you with,” Brian pointed out,  “But that’s not the safety I’m really concerned about.  Small cars are dangerous. Are you mad because I want you to be safe?”  

 

“No,” Justin replied, “I’m glad you want me to be safe. I’m very glad that you care that much about me.”  “You know I do, you monster,” Brian told him.  “But I like being reminded,” Justin cooed

.

“OK,” Brian said, “Let’s forget about the car until tomorrow.  You know I’d rather you picked a sturdier car, but it’s your decision and you have to make it.  You didn’t ask my permission to buy the car and you don’t need it.” 

 

 “That’s what I thought I was doing,” Justin thought to himself.

 

“How old would your father have been on this birthday?”  Brian asked Justin.  “Forty-four,” Justin responded.  “Then he was twelve years older than me,” Brian said, “And I’m about twelve years older than you.  Kind of odd, isn’t it?”  

 

“You guys were a lot alike too,” Justin said, “He always wanted me to do the right thing, just like you do.  You would have really liked him, Brian.”  “I think I would have,” Brian agreed, “I wonder how he got you to do the right thing.”  “Well, I guess his percentage was just about the same as yours,” Justin allowed. 

 

 “Too bad we never got the chance to team up on you,” Brian smiled at Justin.  “Ouch,” Justin thought of that possibility, but he was very sorry it would never happen.

 

They sat in silence for a while.  Justin was thinking about his dad and Brian did not want to intrude.  Then Brian reached for a cracker and they were all gone.  “You are a monster,” he yelled at Justin.  You put out four times as many of those crackers as I eat at one time.  Then you got me into that discussion and I ate them all.  I’ll have to spend three extra hours at the gym.  And I don’t even think I talked you out of the little red two-seater that goes from 0 to 100 in 5 seconds.”

 

“Yes, you did, Hon,” Justin told him.  “You won that battle.  You always win, but that’s OK with me cause I love you and want you to be happy.”  

 

“Is this a trap?” Brian inquired.  

 

“Now you’re hurting my feelings again.  People sacrifice for people they love, and every time I do, you suspect something.  You have no sentiment in your heart, Brian Kinney.  You’re mean.  But I still want you to come with me when I pick my new car,” Justin responded.  

 

 “Well I’ll come with you if you want me to, because two heads are better than one,” Brian agreed, “But I really don’t want to influence your choice.”  

 

“Who said anything about influencing my choice?” Justin answered, “With all those crackers you’ve been eating, I just want to make sure you will fit inside.”     


	15. Chapter 15 - Mikey Sees the light

Brian was alone in the loft.  It was the dark time of the winter and he was waiting for Justin to get home.  He thought he would like to light the electric fireplace.  “If I do the twink will make some smart remark when he comes in,” he thought, and then after some consideration decided,  “So what. If he makes a smart remark, I’ll just stop him in his tracks with some wise repartee. That will fix him.  Or I might just grab him and kiss him.  That would also stop him in his tracks.  Maybe that last would work best.”  So Brian confidently lit the fireplace and turned the electric flames to high.  He wasn’t afraid of Justin.

 

Sitting alone in front of the fireplace encouraged Brian to daydream.  He was thinking about Justin and how his new life was working out, and about Justin and their futures plans, and sometimes just about Justin.  It was the next best thing to having the kid nestled next to him – second best but better than nothing.

  

He was thoroughly enjoying his daydreams when there came a knock at the door.  Brian was mildly disturbed at the intrusion on his thoughts but he went to the door and found Michael on the other side.  “You have a key, Mikey, why didn’t you just walk in?” Brian asked.  

 

“I’m not doing that any more.  I don’t want to intrude on some private situation,” Michael explained.  “I can’t imagine what you mean,” Brian laughed, and Mike remarked, “I’m sure you can’t.”  

 

“Well.” Brian wondered, “What brings you over to see me on this cold winter night.”  “Nothing at all,” Mikey responded, “ I am here to see the other resident of this loft and I don’t see him.”  

 

“He isn’t here, Mikey,” Brian said, “Won’t I do in a pinch?”  “Nope,” Michael smiled,  “I need him to look at these final print-ups for _Rage_.  We were supposed to meet about them tomorrow night but the publishers want them a day early.  It will only take a few minutes, so I won’t be stealing your boyfriend for long.”  

 

“Nobody steals my boyfriend for even a second but I do lend him out on occasion.  You can talk to him about business but I’ll be watching you the whole time,” Brian smiled a warning to Michael, “He should be home in a little while.  He’s out to dinner with a few friends from the Institute – on loan.”   “Out on the town without you.  That’s a surprise,” Mikey jabbed at Brian.  “I’ve told you I want him to have friends closer to his own age.  I make him go out without me.  He does everything I tell him to,” Brian bragged.  

 

“Somehow I think you have maintained your ability to stretch the truth,” Michael laughed.  Brian was still smiling.

 

“Oh ho,” Michael declared, “There’s the famous fireplace.”  “I don’t remember telling you about the fireplace,” Brian replied.  “You didn’t.  Boy Wonder did.  He says it’s magic.  He says it makes you nice.  He calls it the magic fireplace.  I guess if it makes you nice it must be magic,” Michael allowed,  “Can I try it?”  “Sure,” Brian told him, “But don’t expect too much.”  

 

So Michael and Brian sat down together and stared at the dancing flames.  “I don’t think I get it?” Mike said after a while,  “Do you really like sitting on the floor looking at those fake flames?”  “Yeah, but it’s better when I have Justin next to me rather than you.” Brian joked, “Bring Ben over some time if you want to get the full effect.”  

 

“But weren’t you sitting here by yourself before I came?  How come?” Mikey asked.  

 

“It helps me think about him when he’s not here – not that I need any help,” Brian told him.  “You sure don’t sound like the Brian Kinney I’ve known for twenty years.”  Michael replied,   “Where’s the selfish bastard that I’ve known and loved all those years?”  

 

“You were the only one who really loved me.  I didn’t even much like myself.  I did what I did then to keep alive – just to keep going.  I don’t need to do that any more.  I have a lot of things to keep me alive, or maybe one thing that makes a lot of things worth while,” Brian told him.  

 

“You don’t sound like you either, Brian,” Michael stated, “You are nicer and you seem to have real feelings like other people do.  You’re not on anything are you?”  Brian laughed,  “I don’t need anything like that now and I’m pretty much off drugs and booze too.  You’re not complaining are you?”  

 

“Not at all!” Michael stated, “I’m so happy for you, Brian.  I was… we were all worried about you.  Everybody is glad you’re happy.  We like Justin, too, you know, and we’re glad to lose you to him.”  

 

“Michael, you and the gang have not lost me.  You really might have if Justin hadn’t come along.  You’ve got a new me now all because of him.  And he loves you guys as much as I do.”  Brian told him, “You’re still my best friend after Justin.  I’ll always need your friendship.  You’ve always been there for me when I needed you and that won’t ever change, I hope.  And that’s not new.  I’ve told you that a lot of times before.”  

 

“Not when you were clean and sober,” Mike answered him and asked, “And this new Brian is here to stay?”  “As long as I have… Don’t worry, Mikey,” Brian answered,  “I won’t lose him.  I know I need him now and I won’t lose him.”  

 

Michael was a little confused by this conversation.  He stared into the fire with a new respect.

 

At that moment, Justin burst into the room.  Justin almost always burst into wherever he was going.  Brian liked that.  “Hi, Honey,” he called to Brian and then “Hey, Mikey, what’s up?”  Then he looked quizzically toward the fire.  

 

“Mikey wanted to see the fireplace at work so I lit it for him.  “That was nice of you,” Justin doubted that story.  “Michael needs to show you some _Rage_ shit.  I’m going to run on the treadmill while you geniuses confer, and I’ll put on my earphones so that you can feel safe saying nice things about me.  But I’ll be watching you, so no funny business.  And don’t take too long, Mikey.  The twink and I might want to create a private situation.” Brian warned them happily.  

 

“Don’t worry, Sweetheart,” Justin reassured Brian in the same spirit of fun, “Every time I come on to Michael, he reminds me about Ben,”  Brian loved Justin’s sense of humor but he loved everything about Justin.

 

Justin replaced Brian on the floor and leafed through the folder that Michael presented to him.  “Looks good to me,” he told Mikey,  “What do you think of my fireplace?”  

 

“I think maybe it works,” Mike admitted, “Brian talked a lot differently than he used to.  He really loves you, Justin.  It’s like you gave him a love potion or something.  Whatever you gave him, none of us could do in years of trying.  We love you for what you did for him, Boy Wonder, and we love you too.  You are really special.  Remember I used to warn you that Brian would never change.  I really believed that and I was trying to save you from a major disappointment, but I’m glad you didn’t listen to me.  You knew more about him in a couple of weeks than I knew after twenty years.”  

 

“Not really, Mike.  I hoped I could get him but I wasn’t sure by a long shot.  I loved him so much I had to take the risk.  You helped me out a lot along the way.  You helped me stay sane when we thought Brian was moving to New York.” Justin thanked him, “I needed your support a lot of times and you were there.  I consider you my friend too and I want you to know that if you ever need me, I’ll be there.”  “That’s a done deal, Kiddo,” Michael said,  “I think my mother loves you as much as me or maybe more so that makes us kind of brothers.” 

 

 “I’m glad to have a brother,” Justin replied. “So am I,” Mikey smiled.  “Justin,” Michael added, cautiously, “we love the new Brian and we know it’s all because of you, but …”  “I’ll never hurt him, Michael,” Justin assured him, “I know he needs me.  I need him more.  Believe me, I need him more.  I know you’re worried that I’ll let him down.  I never will.”  Michael told Justin, “I did worry about that – not because I didn’t trust you but because you’re so young.  I’m not worried now.  Thanks.”  Maybe he was becoming a believer in the magic fireplace.

 

“OK, you guys, You can quit saying nice things about me now,” Brian broke into the conversation, ”I’m tired of you two having a good time and leaving me out of it.” 

 

“We are sorry,” Justin told him, “We were having a good time and you’re name was never mentioned.”  “Well you missed out on a good bet,” Brian assured them.

 

As Michael was heading home he engaged in an argument with himself.  “Justin is right.  That fireplace is magic,” he thought.  Then he laughed to himself, “Am I crazy?  There’s no such thing as a magic fireplace.  Those two have finally got it all together … But I was able to say things to them that I could never say before and they told me things I thought I’d never hear them say …  This is silly.  I’m going to think about something else.”  And he did.

 

When he got back home though, he wondered to Ben, “What you think about us getting a fireplace in here?”


	16. Chapter 16 - Going Back

Brian could see that Justin was disturbed as they were having dinner in the loft.  They had ordered Chinese in.  That was usually a favorite of Justin’s but he was nibbling at his food and his conversation was listless and disinterested.  When there was no enthusiasm in Justin, something was wrong.  Brian did not know whether to bring up the subject or not, but he decided to wait for Justin to tell him.  Brian was sure that Justin would eventually confide in him.  He knew that Justin trusted him and would sooner or later let him know what the problem was.

 

It was later, cuddled up by the fireplace that Justin finally opened up.  “Brian, I need your advice,” Justin said.  “Don’t you always get plenty of advice from me without asking?” Brian responded.  “Yeah,” Justin agreed, breaking into a slight smile, “But most of it I don’t need, and some of it I don’t want.  This time I really need your help.”  

 

“That is, in part at least, exactly what I’m here for,” Brian told the kid, pulling him closer to himself, “Maybe you’d like to tell me what you need my advice about.  That would help, I think.”

 

“Brian, Honey, Do you remember my last year at the Academy?” Justin asked.  “I do,” Brian remembered, “But wouldn’t we both be better off if we forgot that?  That was then and this is now.”  

 

“Remember when Daphne and I tried to start a Gay-Straight Alliance?  You helped me and Debbie helped me and we finally got the senator involved,” Justin went on.  

 

“Baby, they were bad days for you.  Why are you dredging up all that old stuff now?” Brian wanted to know, “You won that battle with a push from the politicians and the TV but it was still a bad experience for you.  That’s when a lot of us learned just how tough you are, though.  We were all so proud of you then and some of us even fell in love with you.  What’s going on?  It’s not like you to be bothered by something that far back?” 

 

 “Brian,” Justin told him, “The Gay-Straight Alliance at St. James has turned out to be pretty successful.  A couple of teachers there agreed to sponsor it and it has a lot of members.  Some of the kids have come out as being gay and they are having a much easier time than I had.  It turned out to be a great thing for the Academy.”

 

 “And that’s why you’re shaking in my arms right now – because the Gay-Straight Alliance at St. James has turned out to be successful?”  Brian inquired. 

 

 Justin smiled at him.  “No, Silly. I may be young and inexperienced but I’m not stupid.” Justin replied, “Bobby Glass is president this year.  I knew him from the Academy, not real well because he was a couple of years behind me, but I did know him.  Actually, he’s straight but he has been a great booster for the club.  He called me a few weeks ago and asked me if I would come back and talk to the Alliance.  I was a little bit scared about that but I told him I would if they wanted me to.  Then I asked him if he had permission from the headmaster to invite me.  He said he thought so, but he would check   I should have told you about it then but nothing was definite and I didn’t really expect I’d actually ever be going.”  

 

“Don’t tell me the bastard doesn’t want you back in that building,” Brian growled.  “That’s not it, Brian.  That wouldn’t scare me at all.  It’s way worse than that,” Justin responded, “He wants me to speak to the whole school in assembly.  They want to declare me a Distinguished Alumnus because of the success of _Rage_ and my part in getting the Alliance started.”

 

Brian was not expecting that.  He didn’t answer Justin for a while and they just sat gazing at the fake flames.  Justin felt relieved that Brian knew what the situation was.  Just having Brian in it with him was a relief for Justin.  Brian squeezed Justin even closer and Justin seemed to lose the tenseness that Brian had felt in him earlier.  Brian knew that the kid had confidence in his ability to help.  That made Brian both proud and happy, but he wished it also made him wise enough to provide that expected help.

 

Brian kissed Justin on the head.  “I don’t think you want me to tell you whether you should go or not, do you?  I know you well enough to know you’ve already made up your mind about that, and I know what you’ve decided.”  

 

“I have to go, Brian.  You know I have to go.  Those kids – especially the gay kids – need to see me.  I don’t give a shit about being a Distinguished Alumnus for myself but it might mean something to some of them.  I want to support those kids, and it might be a boost for the Gay-Straight Alliance too.  I want you to tell me how not to be scared.” Justin answered.  

 

“Can I tell you something, Sunshine?” Brian said, “I love you, but that’s not my fault.  I don’t know how that happened.  I’m glad about it but I don’t know how it happened.  But I’ve told you that before.  Have I ever told you that I also like you and that I really admire you?  I wish I had as much character as you have and I’d be satisfied to be half as brave?”  

 

Justin climbed up on Brian’s lap and kissed him.  He was smiling and crying at the same time.  “You can’t imagine how great your saying that makes me feel,” he told Brian, “I feel like I’m on cloud nine.  I may be the happiest kid on the face of the earth.  But, Brian, when are you going to tell me how not to be scared?”  

 

“Did I ever tell you how much I admire your realism too? You never lose sight of the goal,” Brian laughed. “How do you think I ever got you?” Justin laughed back at him.  And they sat for another while staring at the flames.

 

“OK, Sunshine.  Let’s get down to business,” Brian declared, “Daphne will have to go with you.  She helped found your Gay-Straight Alliance and she should be there.  She may not be a Distinguished Alumna because she doesn’t scribble funny pictures for a comic strip but the kids should see her too.  So you won’t be facing the crowd alone.” 

 

 “That’s good, Brian,” Justin sounded pleased, “That will help.”  

 

“And now my dear Sunshine,” Brian added, “Maybe you won’t be quite so happy to hear this.  I’m coming too, and your mother and Molly, Debbie and Vic, and as many of the others as can make it.”  “No, Brian,” Justin started to say.  

 

Brian interrupted, “I’m not going as your lover.  I’m going as your friend.  Your mother will want to see her son declared a Distinguished Alumnus and she deserves to.  She stood by you when you needed her – remember all the trouble you always said you caused her.  She needs to see something good happen to you.  Debbie helped you with the Alliance.  The rest of the gang loves you too.  They better not try loving you as much as I do, but they love you and I allow them to do that.  Maybe the senator will be able to come too.  We’re just going to sit in the back of the auditorium and watch you wow those kids.  But we are going to be with you to support you all the way.  You won’t need us but we are so proud of you we have to be there.”

 “Well maybe I’ll do like the Oscar telecasts and thank you all.”  Justin threatened, “I can get them to throw the spotlight on each of you while I thank you and describe in great detail what you have done for me.”  

 

“Only if you want to be a dead Distinguished Alumnus,” Brian threatened back, “You’ll be sorry if you try a trick like that.  And don’t tell me you won’t be sorry, because if you aren’t sorry, you will certainly be sore, I can assure you of that, my beloved little monster.”   

 

Justin kissed Brian and got kissed back.  “I’m not afraid of you,” Justin bragged, “And Brian, thanks a lot.  I don’t think I could ever live without you.  I’m not afraid of going back either.”    


	17. Chapter 17 - Going Straight

The fire was lit.  It was cold outside in Pittsburgh with the temperature taking a shot at zero, but it was warm in the loft and the occupants had nowhere they needed to go, or wanted to go.  The previous few days had been hectic so, on this particular night, they had eaten at home and had just settled down in front of the fire for an evening completely dedicated to being together.  They could have watched the television from that vantage point but mostly they didn’t.  And mostly they passed the evenings very happily,  doing just about nothing other than enjoying their being together, but sometimes interesting things were discussed and decided. 

 

 Brian was hoping for the usual quiet togetherness but he had a sense that Justin might have something on his mind.  Brian was getting to be able to read Justin’s moods so he wasn’t as surprised as he once might have been when Justin came up with a proposal.  Now most of these proposals were perfectly satisfactory to Brian because Justin’s happiness was the biggest concern in his life, but he very often  raised objections and acted put upon.  And Justin seemed to enjoy Brian’s recalcitrance – as long as he got his way in the end – and usually he did.  Justin liked to win and Brian didn’t mind losing to the brat, as long as he knew deep down that, as Justin had so often assured him, he, Brian, was the real boss in the relationship.  Brian didn’t really believe that either, but he was pleased that Justin pretended to think so.

 

After a half hour or so of cuddling and small talk, Justin said to Brian, “You know what we don’t do enough of.  We don’t go out with other couples as much as we should.” 

 

“We’ve been to Woody’s in the last week with Ben and Michael, and it hasn’t been that long since we had dinner with Linz and Mel.  And we’ve been out with Ted and Emmett too, but I guess they don’t count as a couple,” Brian replied.  

 

“Yeah,” Justin agreed, “But they’re the only couples we ever see.  We need to widen our horizons some, don’t you think?”  “What I think,” Brian said, “Is that this is another of your con jobs, and that you’re going to try to get me to do something you think I don’t want to do.”  

 

“Brian, you have no consideration for my feelings.  You know darn well I would never do anything like that,” Justin pouted, “We just need to see other people.  I want to show you off.”  

 

“What am I,” Brian asked with a smile, “Some kind of a trophy? Why don’t you just cut off my head, get it stuffed, and hang it on the wall above your wonderful fireplace.”  

 

“Then people would ask me why I have a stubborn ugly old mule’s head hanging over my beautiful fireplace,” Justin countered in the same spirit of fun, “And anyway, I think if I get you stuffed and hung, I’ll have it done like a big fish.  That way we can have the full body treatment and I can tell everybody how I caught you.” 

 

 “I may be an old mule if you think so, but I’m not ugly,” Brian maintained.  “No, you’re not,” Justin agreed, “You’re actually the most beautiful guy I’ve ever seen.”  He kissed Brian and Brian kissed him back.  That was a good sign.  Justin thought things were going pretty well so far, but it wouldn’t be over till it was over.

 

“I think it is, my darling Sunshine, that you have some particular couple in mind, “ Brian assumed, returning to the original subject, “Are you ever going to tell me who they are, or will this be some kind of a blind date for me?”  

 

“Of course I’m going to tell you, but I wish you wouldn’t always act like you think I’m a manipulator.  You’re too smart to be manipulated by anybody and you know it.” Justin complained.  “That may be true,” Brian allowed, “But sometimes I just get that feeling.”  “I think I’m going to cry,” Justin told him.  “Only if you think it will help you get what you want,” Brian remarked heartlessly.  Then Brian laughed and so did Justin.

  

“It’s Daphne,” Justin said.  “Daphne is not a couple,” Brian reminded him.  “It’s Daphne and Andrew, her boy friend.  I think it’s pretty serious and I want to meet him.  He goes to Pitt too, and he’s got early acceptance to medical school.  Someday we’ll be old and need a doctor, and we may be glad we know Andrew.  Can we double date with them?  Please, Brian?”  

 

“They’re straight,” Brian said, “I don’t do straights.”  “They’re people, Brian.  People who happen to be straight,” Justin insisted, “Just like we’re people who happen to be gay.  They have wants and needs just like us.  They’re more like us than different.  People are people.  There’s absolutely no reason why we couldn’t be just as good friends with them as we are with our gay friends.”  

 

“I think I’m going to have to forbid you from spending so much time with the munchers, Baby.  They’re putting all these crazy ideas in your head,” Brian told him.  

 

“Don’t be silly, Brian, I love Mel and Lindsey, and especially Gus, but I really would give them up for you if you told me to.  I know you don’t mean that so I’m not worried,” Justin told him, “But I promise if you go out with Daff and Andrew, I will do something for you that I don’t want to do, whenever you tell me.”  

 

“You always say you’d do anything for me anyhow, so I don’t need that promise, do I?” Brian gloated.  “No,” Justin admitted, “But it sounds good, doesn’t it?  “It does,” Brian said, “But it seems like I’m the one who’s always doing the things he doesn’t want to do.  You win, Baby.  I’ll be happy, well maybe not happy, but I’ll go along with you on this one, just like I always do.  I love Daphne and maybe I’ll like Andrew – even if they are straight.”

 

“Oh Brian,” Justin crowed, “I was right to fall in love with you.  You are absolutely the greatest guy in the world.  “And maybe the most easily manipulated?” Brian wondered.  “And maybe the most exasperating too,” Justin added, “But there’s no turning back.  I love you and I’m stuck with you, but I’m not complaining.”

  

“You never complain because you never have anything to complain about,” Brian stated,  “Where do you want to go with them?”  

 

“I thought maybe Gino’s,” Justin said, “That’s a special place for us.  Remember why?”   “No,” Brian answered, “Were we ever there together?”  “Brian,” Justin moaned, “You are so irritating sometimes.”  

 

“Well, Sweetheart, if we go to Gino’s and you tell them about it being the place where I first told you I loved you, it will be even more special because it will also become the place where I strangled you, or worse,” Brian threatened.  “Oh Brian,” Justin gushed, “You did remember.  You do have some sentiment in your heart.  There may be hope for you yet.”  “I give up,” Brian muttered.  “You always do,” Justin thought to himself

 

“OK,” Brian said, “Since this was a done deal from the beginning, when is this big event going to be?”  “We thought maybe next Wednesday, if that was all right with you,” Justin offered.  

 

“That is not all right with me,” Brian stated, “That is ‘All you can eat night’ and Gino will be mad at me for bringing you there for that, and maybe he’ll go bankrupt, too.  But….”  “Thanks, Brian,” Justin answered, “So it will be next Wednesday at Gino’s.  We’ll get the same booth we had last time.  It will bring back great memories.”

 

“You lose there, Sunshine.  For once you actually lose, and there is no way you can win this one.  Andrew will never fit into that booth.  He’s six foot six if he’s an inch,” It was Brian’s turn to crow.  

 

“How do you know that, Brian?”  Justin glowered, “I haven’t mentioned that.  I didn’t even know that.  I’ve never even met Andrew.  What’s going on, Brian?”  

 

“You didn’t know he was a top basketball star at Pitt with a chance to make millions with the pros?” Brian asked, “Actually, Honey, I’ve met Andrew a couple of times with Daphne.  I would have told you but Daphne wanted to tell you herself.    My work gets me out on the town while you’re slaving over a hot drawing board.  He seems like a very nice guy.  I think you’ll like him.”  

 

“Don’t you ‘Honey’ me,” Justin retorted,  “You knew all the time we were going to go out with them and you let me go through with all that stuff, anyhow?”  

 

“You got it, Baby,” Brian confessed, “But I only let you go through with ‘all that stuff’ because I love you and I think you really enjoy badgering me.”  “Gee, Brian,” Justin confessed back to Brian, “Having somebody know me that well scares me, but I’m not scared because that somebody is you and I know you would never do anything to hurt me.”  Justin rubbed his head along Brian’s chest and let it rest there.  

 

“Then you’re not mad at me?” Brian assumed.  “Yeah I am,” Justin smiled at him, “But I’ll recover real soon.”

 

Then they sat silently for a while, happy just being together.  Finally, Justin spoke up.  “I’m not mad at you any more, Brian,” he said, “But I have definitely decided not to try to get you to be a better person from now on, since you think I’m badgering you.” 

 

“I didn’t ask you to quit doing that,” Brian answered him.  “Well, you’ve made your feelings quite clear, I think,” Justin insisted.  “Just as long as we both know that I didn’t ask you to quit badgering me,” Brian repeated.  “Well I don’t want to ‘badger’ you any more, but if you want me to ‘badger’ you, I will, because I promised to do something for you that I didn’t really want to do,” Justin proposed.  

 

“What do you call what you’re doing now,” Brian asked.  “What do you think I’m doing, Brian?  I’m clearing the air,” Justin told him.  “I think I’d rather be badgered,” Brian stated.

 

  

“Well OK,” Justin acquiesced, “But only cause you want me to.” 


	18. Chapter 18 - Protective Instincts

Brian was alone in the loft.  He was angry with himself.  Every time Justin was out, especially at night, in his new car, Brian felt unjustifiably concerned.  He had tried  reasoning with himself.  Justin was almost twenty years old.  He was a mature, level-headed kid.  He was a good driver.  He was all of those things but above all, as far as Brian was concerned, he was Brian’s responsibility and Brian was not there to protect him.  Brian knew that was irrational.  He knew he had to get over this nervousness.  Brian was nevertheless still unjustifiably concerned. 

 

This was a new feeling for Brian and he didn’t like it.  He decided to light Justin’s fireplace and try to lose himself watching the fake flames.  It didn’t work.  “Is this how parents feel when their kids are out at night?” he wondered, and decided it probably was.  Brian knew where Justin was and whom he was with, but that didn’t seem to help.  Justin had told him that he would probably be back by 8:00 and it was now nearly nine.  He had told Brian that he might be later and not to worry if he was.  Brian was still worried.

 

Now Justin had taken his mother and Molly out to dinner to celebrate Jennifer’s birthday.  They had gone to the new Homestead Waterfront, to one of the many new restaurants there.  It was less than five miles from the loft. Brian had been invited to go along but he thought it would be nice to give Jen some time alone with both her children. 

 

He wished now that he had gone.  He had tried subtly to find out from Justin which of the many restaurants they were going to, but Justin wanted to leave that decision to his mother and since they were going fairly early, they didn’t think reservations would be necessary.  Brian thought that if he just knew the restaurant he could call and see if they were there.  But he knew he wouldn’t have done that, and possibly embarass the kid who deserved so much more confidence than Brian was able to muster.  He thought about calling the hospitals, or trying to find out if there had been any accidents.  He knew he was being illogical, but knowing that did not fix it, or even help much.

 

“It’s only 9:00,” he told himself, “And he’s with his mother, and I’m still worried about him.  I must be crazy.  What if it were midnight and I didn’t know where he was or who he was with?  How in hell could I handle that?  The kid deserves the freedom to come and go when he wants to, so I can’t ever let him know what a nervous wreck it makes me.  My Justin would stay home when he wanted to be out just to spare me any worry.  He wouldn’t be like the kids who do what they want and tell their parents to go to hell.”

 

“Jeez,” Brian thought, “Poor Craig.  He loved Justin. I know now that he really did.  He made a big mess of the situation or things would have been a lot better for him and Justin.  Justin is a special kid.  He didn’t want to hurt his dad.  But how his dad must have worried when he was out all night with me.  They didn’t know where he was or whom he was with.  He could have been with a sexual predator.  He was only seventeen then.” 

Brian smiled to himself, “I guess he was with a sexual predator, but at least not one who beat him up or even worse.”  Brian was reminded of the dumpster boy.

 

The whole thing was getting to be too much for Brian.  Then he thought he heard the elevator outside the loft.  He held his breath until he heard a key in the lock.  The door opened and there stood Justin looking as safe and healthy as could be, but with an unhappy look on his face.

 

“Oh Brian,” Justin exclaimed as he ran across the room and threw his arms around Brian, “I have to talk to you.  I need your help.” “ Brian, you’re shivering,” he cried, “It’s warm in here and you have the fireplace going and you’re still shivering.  I’m scared.  Maybe we should call the doctor or go to the emergency room.” 

 

 “Let’s try this my way,” Brian smiled at him.  “Sit down on my lap here on the couch and let me keep my arms around you and we’ll sit together for a while under the blanket.  I think that will do the trick” 

 

“I’m not going to object to that at all, but I don’t see how….” Justin said before Brian interrupted.  “Trust me,” Brian assured him, “This is just what I need. This will work.”  So they tried Brian’s solution.  

“Where shall I put my head?” Justin asked Brian.  “Why don’t you just lay in on the table over there?” Brian laughed at him and Justin kissed Brian.  “I’ll just lay it right here on your shoulder. I sure don’t know what’s going on here but I like it anyhow.  I came home with a problem and just being with you helps.  Maybe I should take credit for curing your shivers too,” Justin said.  “Maybe you should,” Brian told Justin with an irony that Justin would not understand.

 

“Tell me about your evening,” Brian asked him.  “I’m going to save the problem till last,” Justin said, “We ate at the Italian restaurant.  It was great.  It wasn’t ‘all you can eat ‘ but the portions were so huge that I’m not sure I could have had seconds anyway,”  “You could have,” Brian told him, squeezing him around the middle, “And you’d still be as scrawny as ever.”  “I’m not going to argue with you about your insults,” Justin laughed, “It might start you shivering again.” 

 

 “Well it was 10:00 when you got home.  That took a lot of eating,” Brian stated.  ”We were done eating by seven, Lover-Boy,” Justin informed him, ”There was a movie that Molly wanted to see playing at the megaplex across from the restaurant, so we decided to go.  I thought maybe I should call you to tell you we were going but I didn’t think you’d worry about me when I was with my mother.”

 

“Why should I worry about a mature adult like you are?”  Brian asked.  “You shouldn’t,” Justin agreed, “But I wouldn’t mind if you worried just a little bit.”  “OK,” Brian assured him, “I’ll try to worry about you but just a little bit next time.”  “Thanks,” Justin said, and kissed him again.  Brian truly hoped he could keep that promise.

 

“Brian,” Justin started on a new topic, “The movies the kids are seeing these days are terrible.  Molly should never have been seeing that movie tonight.  She’s twelve years old.  What will the kids be doing next?”  “I can’t imagine.” Brian answered, “Maybe they’ll come down to Liberty Avenue and pick up some middle aged predators.”  

 

“I wish you would not bring up things that are not pertinent to the discussion we are having,” Justin admonished him, “But that’s all right, Brian.  I always know that if I want to discuss something serious, I can call Mikey.”  “But I do have a problem I hope you will take seriously,”  Justin continued.  “Tell me about it,” Brian urged him.

 

“Molly has a boy friend, Brian.  She’s only twelve and she has a boy friend.” Justin complained, “Mother says it’s nothing to worry about but she’s only twelve.  He’s taking her to the dance at school.  It’s in the afternoon and it will be well chaperoned, but it worries me and I don’t like it.  Maybe if she were fourteen or fifteen, but she’s only twelve, and I think it’s more than just the dance.” 

 

 “Sunshine, older people always seem to have to worry about younger people.  It’s like sometimes the older people don’t think younger people should have lives of their own.” Brian advised him, “The older people have to grow up just like the younger ones do.  Young people can’t learn to be adults if they’re not given enough freedom to try new things, even if they fail at them.  Molly needs to learn how to deal with boys, and this is how she’ll learn.  Your mother is a very wise woman, Baby.  She stuck by you and she’ll stick by Molly.  You’re perfect and Molly will be all right too.  Remember, you wanted a permanent commitment with me when you were seventeen.  That’s only five years older than Molly is now.  And I was 29, twelve years older than you.  I’m assuming that Molly’s boy friend is not 24.”  

 

Justin laughed, “He’s twelve, too.  I know I’m crazy to be worried but I am.  You couldn’t understand.”  “Yes I can,” Brian answered, “Believe me, I can.”

 

“Please help me get over this, Brian,” Justin pleaded, “I am so dumb.”  “You are not dumb, Sunshine.  What would I want with some dumb kid who didn’t know shit?”  

 

Justin remembered saying those words himself a while back and he smiled.  “Brian, you can make me feel better just being around you.  Did you ever make crazy mistakes and do crazy things like I do?” he asked.  “Yes I did, but not recently” Brian lied. That was a white lie and Brian didn’t think it counted.  “But you’ll learn, Baby, you’ll learn, and it will get better,” Brian assured him, “And I’m still learning too.”

 

Now that was the truth but Brian was happy that Justin did not know just how true it was.

 

“Don’t worry about me Brian.  I will learn and you’ll help me,” Justin whispered to Brian as he put his arms around Brian’s neck.  “We’ll help each other,” Brian thought but did not say, “But I’ll always worry about you.”


	19. Chapter 19 - Spring Break

Justin was seated in front of the fireplace.  He had lit the fire because he had some thinking to do and he hoped the fake flames would help.  Earlier that day, he had stopped by Brian’s office for a surprise visit but found that Brian was out at a meeting.  Cynthia had drawn him aside to talk.  She said that Brian was on one of his workaholic binges.  She told him that Brian had never been patient with incompetence but at times now he was even impatient with competence.  He was driving all of them crazy. 

 

 “What he needs is to get away for a while,” she had told him, “And you are the only one he listens to.  Don’t worry, Justin, nobody here knows that but me, and my lips are sealed, but I have been trying to get him to take some time off, and he just ignores me, so it’s up to you.  Isn’t your spring break coming up soon?  Get him out of town.”

  

Justin remembered that Brian had promised to take him back to Vermont for more snow-boarding during spring break, if he wanted to go, but Justin had planned to pass on that.  He had felt lucky to get Brian home from the New Year holiday trip in one piece.  Brian was not very good on a snow-board and did not seem to notice.  There were only two things that Justin knew that Brian was not good at - snow-boarding and swimming – he had seen Brian swimming a few times at the gym - so if he could avoid those two activities….  “What about New York?  Plays, museums, sight-seeing,” Justin thought, “That’s it.  I’ll see what I can do.  I wonder how much time I have to work this out.  Spring break is still a month away.”  Actually, he did not have very much time at all but he didn’t know that then.

 

At the same time Justin was busy thinking, so was Brian.  He was driving home and his mind was on the same topic as Justin’s.  “Cynthia is really on me to get away for a while.  It’s only a matter of time till she calls in Justin and then I won’t have much choice,” he figured, “I don’t think he’ll take me up on that offer to go back to Vermont.  He acted like I wasn’t very good at snow-boarding.  Well it was my first time and I was pretty good by the end of our stay.  I’m going to have to get him to go someplace where I can do something I’m really good at.  Swimming, that’s it.  Mexico would be good.  There are a couple of campaigns coming up that I could get some background for.  The twink doesn’t need to know that I’ll be working too.  How will I approach the subject? I want to be subtle.” Brian thought.

 

When he got to the loft, Brian was surprised that the fireplace was aflame that early.  “What’s up, Sunshine?” he asked.  “Just thinking,” Justin replied.  “What about?” Brian wondered.  “Oh, just a lot of little things,” Justin bent the truth a little.

 

Brian sat himself down next to his beloved kid and put his arm around him.  “How about you and me going to Mexico for spring break?” he took the bull by the horns.  “Mexico?” Justin said, trying to conceal his surprise, “I didn’t really need to go back snow-boarding but I was thinking…”  “I’ve never been to Mexico and I’ve always wanted to go.  I’m glad I waited till now so that I can go with you,” Brian broke in before he could finish.

 

  The best laid plans don’t always work and Justin’s plans had been barely laid at all.  Justin loved Brian and Brian wanted to go to Mexico.  “That sounds great, Brian” he responded enthusiastically, “I would love going anywhere you want to go.  I would follow you to the ends of the earth.”  He threw his arms around Brian’s neck and kissed him while not voicing his reservations, “except for snow-boarding and swimming,”

 

“There’s a wonderful little town in the mountains down there called San Miguel de Allende.  It’s an artists’ colony and there are a lot of retired U. S citizens living there too, so we would be able to get around in English,” Justin suggested, “How does that sound?”  

 

“I was really thinking about the shore,” Brian countered, “Acapulco, Puerto Vallarta, Cancun – someplace like that.  You taught me how to snow-board and I can show you the finer points of swimming.”  Justin’s heart sank just a little.

 

“I’m not that good of a swimmer.  I’m afraid of the ocean, Brian, and you’re such a good swimmer I’m afraid you’ll be doing all kinds of crazy things in the water and that will really scare me,” Justin said.  “You should be more frightened about what I might do on shore?” Brian warned him.  “That doesn’t scare me at all, Brian” Justin answered.

 

“Promise you won’t go out too far,” Justin pleaded, “And that you won’t go swimming when I’m not around.”  “That sounds like rules, “ Brian laughed,  “I thought rules were from the old days.”  “I just want you safe,” Justin quoted Brian from the old days, while laughing back at him, “I want you around for a long time.”  “Well remember you didn’t get what you wanted when I said that,” Brian countered.  “So that makes it my turn to get what I want now,” Justin insisted.  “OK, Baby,” Brian gave in, “I’ll do what you want while we’re in the water.”  “And I’ll do what you want while we’re not,” Justin promised.

  

“I want you to take your art stuff with you,” Brian said, “I want you to paint the sunrise or the sunset, whatever they have in Mexico,” Brian ordered.  “I think maybe they have both, Sweetheart,” Justin informed him, “But not at the same time, and only one will be over the water.”

 

“You really do know a lot about Mexico, Sunshine,” Brian jibed, “I suppose you’ve been there many times.”

“No,” I haven’t,” Justin replied, “But I studied geography in fourth and fifth grades.” 

“That was sure a smart cookie I picked up under the lamp post one night,” Brian bragged.  “Don’t be so sure it was you who did the picking up,” Justin warned him.  That gave Brian some food for thought.

 

The discussion broke off there and they went to the kitchen.  Justin had planned to cook their evening meal but his meeting with Cynthia and the subsequent thinking had kept him from doing that.  He volunteered to take Brian out to dinner but Brian preferred eating in, and so they had soup and sandwiches, and each other, which was more than enough for them.

 

After they ate, they resumed their positions on the floor in front of the couch under the blanket facing the fire.  The subject of their trip was rekindled.  “I’ll get Cynthia to look into some places in Mexico and get us reservations for your spring break.  I’m really looking forward to having you all to myself,” Brian told Justin, “You know, Cythia has been on my back to get away from the office for a while.  She said I was getting mean.  I was worried that she might get in touch with you and get you on my back too.  You two have teamed up on me before, but I beat you to the punch this time, didn’t I?”  “Yes, you did, Honey,” Justin told him. 

 

Brian looked at Justin.   “No I didn’t, did I?  You knew about that, didn’t you? Tell me the truth, you little weasel,” Brian moaned.  “Well Cynthia did say she thought work was getting to you….” Justin admitted.  Brian thought that was funny and Justin was glad of that.

 

They sat there in silence until another thought jumped into Brian’s head.  “Sunshine Baby,” Brian said to Justin, “It seems to me that I remember Daphne saying that she had a swimming pool at home and that you were the very best swimmer at the Academy. Do I remember correctly?”  “I wasn’t there if she ever said that.” Justin responded, “She does have a swimming pool at home and we did paddle around in it often enough.  But I wasn’t even on the swimming team at school.”  

 

“But don’t I remember Daphne telling me that you weren’t on the team only because it conflicted with Art Club which was your big activity there?” Brian demanded.  “I was not there for that discussion at all,” Justin complained, “So how can you expect me to know what Daphne told you?”  

 

More realization hit Brian at that point.  “Your mother told me that you were a life guard at the country club for two years.  Weasel out of that,” Brian went on.  “Brian, are you trying to start an argument or something?  I was not a life guard at all.  I was a substitute life guard.  Regular life guards had to be 18 years old,” Justin defended himself.  

 

“But you did pass the Red Cross life guard swimming test?” Brian wondered.  “Yeah,” Justin confessed, “When I was 14.”  “And you’re worried about my swimming ability?” Brian confronted Justin.  “Oh Brian…,”  Justin started to reply and was very happy to be interrupted.  Brian put both arms around Justin.  “I love you,” he told his boy-monster.  “Do you ever wonder why?” Justin asked.  “Never,” Brian declared.

 

A while later, right before they extinguished the fire and went to bed, Brian asked Justin, “Sunshine, did I really decide to go to Mexico on my own, or did you and Cynthia decide that and force me to think that it was my own idea?”  “Actually, I was thinking of New York,” Justin admitted.  “And we are going to Mexico,” Brian marveled, “ I must really be the boss around here.”  “Everybody knows that already, Brian,” Justin told him, “I don’t know why you’re always the last one to find things out.”


	20. Chapter 20 - Mind Reading

 Justin was tired as he headed back to the loft.  It had been a long and reasonably unsuccessful day at the Institute.  It was one of those days when anything that could go wrong did go wrong.  Justin was glad those days seldom came along but he was dragging as he pulled his car into its place.  And he was late, too.  For some reason, Brian had wanted him to commit to getting home at 7:00.  Justin wasn’t sure why but he suspected that Brian was going to make one of his rare attempts at cooking – not that Brian was not a good cook when he decided to test his culinary skills.  It was almost 7:30 now.  Justin had told Brian that he would have a hard time making 7:00 under the best circumstances but he was still sorry he was late when Brian had something special planned, whatever it was.

 

When he opened the door to the loft, Justin was surprised to find the inside dark.  He wondered if he had the day wrong.  Before he had time to think about that, the lights flashed on and he was hit with a group cry of “Surprise.”  

 

When his eyes focused, he saw the loft decorated in a birthday motif, and a large group of his friends welcoming him.  It was a birthday party – for him – and it was a genuine surprise for a lot of reasons.  That may have been a very good thing because otherwise he might have remembered that most of Brian’s parties ended in disaster, and it was coming at the end of a day that had already been a kind of disaster.  

 

The crowd was not particularly a surprise to Justin: Mike and Ben, his mother and Molly, Ted and Emmett, Melanie and Lindsey with Gus, Debby and Carl, Vic, Daphne and Andrew.   And then there was a surprise; Ethan and Tom were also there.  Justin had known that Ethan was going to be in town.  Ethan came back to the Institute periodically for some coaching with Professor Green, and he and Justin always got together when Ethan was in Pittsburgh.  Tom did not always come with Ethan but Justin was glad to see him.  Ethan had told Justin in their e-mail correspondence that he and Tom were very happy together and it looked to Justin like that was true.

 

The surprise gave Justin a new lease on life.  He enjoyed himself immensely and appreciated the attention.  It made turning twenty less painful.  Vic had produced his buttercream birthday cake speciality, and there was lots of food to go with the good company.  

 

They asked Ethan to play his violin, and while none of them were music critics, they could tell that this major talent was developing ahead of schedule.  While Ethan was playing, Justin  was reminded that it was on his nineteenth birthday that he had met Ethan for the first time, and that Brian had refused to celebrate his birthday with him.  These were painful memories for him.  Brian saw the look on Justin’s face, and quickly came over to throw his arm around his blond twink. 

 

“Shit, Baby,” he whispered to Justin, “Ethan’s going to be a world-famous fiddler; Andrew is going to be a world-famous basketball star; you are going to be a world-famous artist; and I’m still going to be a backwoods ad exec.  What will you think of me then?”  “I’ll still love you more than anything else in the world,” Justin assured him, but then he added, probably to keep Brian from getting a big head, “All of us world-famous stars keep a few friends from the old days.”  Justin appreciated that Brian had noticed his moment of distress and Brian appreciated the reassurance, so that brief encounter pleased them both.

 

It wasn’t a long party but everybody had a good time, and this was a rare Brian-planned party that ended as successfully as it had begun.  It was a week-night and everybody had to get up the next morning.  Justin made arrangements with Ethan and Tom to meet them for lunch and Brian was invited to come too if he could get away from the office.  Debby and Vic helped get everything straightened up in the kitchen.  Brian wanted the decorations left up so when the last guest had departed, the apartment was in very good order.  It was just about 11:15.

 

“Can we sit for a while by the fireplace?” Justin asked Brian, “I’m still too excited to try to sleep.”  “I thought you’d never ask,” Brian answered him, “But please, no marshmallows.  I couldn’t eat another bite.”  “I could,” Justin teased.  “If you couldn’t, I’d have to rush you to the emergency room,” Brian countered.  So they kindled the fireplace and sat themselves down in front of the fake flames, a very happy couple indeed.

 

Justin just stared at Brian without saying anything.  Brian looked back at him and asked, “Well, was it a surprise?”  “Yeah, it was.  It was great, Brian,” Justin replied, “Thanks.” 

They sat in silence for a few minutes till Brian smiled at Justin and said, “You have always been able to read my mind, Baby, and it’s rubbing off.  I  know what you’re thinking and I’m disappointed that you would think that about me.”  

 

“What are you talking about, Brian?” Justin wanted to know.  “I didn’t get the date wrong,” Brian told him, “I know that your birthday is not till next week.  I wasn’t sure it would be a surprise if I waited till then, and Ethan wouldn’t have been in town, and, never mind.  Anyhow, I do know when your birthday is.” 

 

 “And what, Brian?” Justin insisted, “And what?  I can still read your mind too and I think I know what that ‘and’ is all about, but I want you to say it. – so say it.”  “If you know so much, Sunshine, why don’t you tell me?” Brian challenged.  

 

“You are the greatest guy in the world, Brian,” Justin replied, “And I love you so much it hurts, but you are also the least romantic person in the world.  I can’t tell myself.  You have to tell me, and that will make it ‘ridiculously romantic,’ so tell me.” 

 

 “I love you,” Brian said.  “I know you do.” Justin laughed, “You tell me that all the time and I love to hear it.  Last year you couldn’t say it, and last year you didn’t celebrate birthdays.  You’ve made great progress and if you keep improving, by next year I won’t have to drag stuff out of you, but that is not the ‘and,’ so just give up and tell me.”  

 

“Well,” Brian took the advice and gave up, “I kind of thought that I wanted to spend your real birthday alone with you – just the two of us.  I’m keeping my schedule clear for all of your birthday and I want to spend as much of it with you as I can, depending on your schedule.  We can do anything you want, all day” 

 

 “Gee,” Justin responded, “I’m supposed to address a joint session of Congress that morning and have lunch afterward with the President and the Queen of England but I can easily reschedule those and spend all day with you, if that’s what you’d like, Honey.”  

 

“That’s what I want,” Brian admitted, “And I also want to do some kind of birthday thing with you every day till then.  That’s why I wanted to keep the decorations up.”  “Oh Brian,” Justin kissed him, “You are ridiculously romantic.”  

 

“I think a lot of the credit goes to you,” Brian told him, “And I do feel guilty about last year.”  “Don’t feel guilty, Brian, a lot of it was my fault too, and maybe we had to go through all that to get to where we are now,” Justin consoled him, “But you know multiple birthday celebrations for me will not lessen the vast age difference between us.”  “I know,” Brian admitted, “No matter how hard I try, you’ll never grow up, my own dear little Peter Pan.”  “I love you, Brian,” Justin said as he climbed up onto Brian.  They stayed that way for a long time, each of them wishing it could be forever.

 

“This is the very best birthday of my life,” Justin finally said, “I am so happy.  I wish every day could be my birthday.”  “That wouldn’t work for me at all,” Brian answered, “In just a few weeks you’d be too old for me and I’d have to go out looking for….”   He didn’t get to finish.  Justin kissed him so hard he couldn’t finish.  

 

“I think I’m ready to go to bed now,” Justin told Brian.  So they put out the fire and went. 


	21. Chapter 21 - Separation

     

The fake fireplace was ablaze.  Brian and Justin were together on the floor in front of the couch but they were not cuddled up together.  There was actually conflict in progress. “You are going, Brian,” Justin was insisting, “And that’s all there is to it.”  

 

“Damn Cynthia for telling you,” Brian groused, “She’s supposed to work for me, not be a traitor.”  “Brian,” Justin pleaded, “Please listen to reason.  You have to go.  Cynthia didn’t tell me until I asked.  It was in the newspaper that your agency was in the running for that account.  It will be the biggest account you have. You’ve got to go after it and I mean you personally.  You are the brains of that outfit.”  

 

“And you’re exhibiting at the Institute the same three days I’ll have to be in New York.  I want to be here with you.  You are more important to me than business,” Brian countered.  

 

Then they both thought of the same thing and they both smiled as they read each other’s minds.  “It is kind of funny,” Justin recalled, “You didn’t always think that.  We were arguing the other sides last time this came up.”  “Yeah,” Brian agreed, “And I went off to Chicago on business, and you went off to snowboard in Vermont by yourself – and pretty soon you were out of my life and it could have been forever.”  

 

“Do you really think it could have been forever?” Justin asked.  “I don’t now, but I think I did then.” Brian told him.  “I did too,” Justin admitted, “But it’s not the same now.” 

 

“What’s so different?” Brian wanted to know, “Except maybe that you’re a mature twenty now – no longer a naïve teen-ager.”  “We’re different, Brian.  I know you love me now.  I did not know that then.  Maybe I should have but I didn’t,” Justin reasoned, “And you didn’t go out of your way to let me know either.  And maybe you don’t remember the first time I ever exhibited after we met – at the Gay and Lesbian Center – and you said you wouldn’t come.”  

 

“I did come though, and I was nice to you too,” Brian defended himself.  “Only after Linz made you come,” Justin laughed, “And I don’t know what you did there but you scared my mother out of her wits.”  “Jeez, Sunshine,” Brian complained, “You remember everything, don’t you?”  “Young people have good memories,” Justin explained. 

 

“This will be the first time we have been separated since we got back together,” Brian reminded Justin.  “I know that. I don’t like it either,” Justin said, “And if I weren’t exhibiting, I’d drop everything and go to New York with you, but you know I can’t do that.”  

 

“But I can stay home with you,” Brian explained.  “No you can’t,” Justin insisted, “But I thought you just might try that.  That’s why I called Cynthia when I saw the article in the paper.  She tried to do what you wanted, but you know that I can be pretty persistent.  She thinks that you need to go, Brian, and so do I.”  

 

“You really want me to go?” Brian seemed surprised, “I hope you’ll miss me if I do.”  “Brian, you are beginning to actually irritate me,” Justin was smiling when he said that, “You know I’ll miss you, but why wouldn’t someone who loves you want you to do what’s best for you?”  

 

“Well then why don’t I want to go?” Brian asked.  “Because you don’t really love yourself yet, Brian,” Justin replied, “But don’t worry.  That’s one of my projects.”  “I always worry about your projects,” Brian told him.

 

  “But you will go?” Justin stood his ground.  “If you want me to go, I’ll go,” Brian gave in, “But I’ll miss you and I will not enjoy myself.”  “Sounds good to me,” Justin crowed, “But it would be all right for you to enjoy yourself a little bit.”  Then they cuddled up and watched the fire for a while.

 

The subject was dropped for the rest of that evening, but Brian was secretly pleased about Justin’s insistence that he go to New York.  He had no doubt that Justin loved him, but he could still be surprised at how much.  Justin was pleased that Brian loved him enough to want to stay home with him for the exhibition, even if that would not have been the wise course to take.  So it was a happy duo sitting on the floor of the loft.

 

The subject did arise the next evening though.  “Was Cynthia surprised that you decided to go to New York?” Justin asked Brian.  “She was glad I decided to go, Sunshine,” Brian said, “But I don’t think she was surprised.  I think she has more confidence in you than she has in me.  Sometime soon I’m going to absolutely refuse to do something you two want me to do, just to show you both that I do have a mind of my own.”  

 

“If that’s what you really want to do,” Justin teased, “I hope you’ll do that.  You know I will be very happy to see you happy.”  “You’re just trying to take all the pleasure out of it for me, aren’t you?” Brian complained.  “I would never try to do anything like that,” Justin pouted, “But I can’t help it if that’s how it turns out.”  “I’m not the only one who can be irritating,” Brian remarked as he leaned over and kissed Justin.  Justin couldn’t let him get away with that so he kissed Brian twice.

 

“I’m really going to miss you, Baby,” Brian told him.  “And I’m going to miss you terribly, and I’m sorry you will miss my exhibition,” Justin said, “But it will help to know that you are missing me too.”  There were some other things that Brian could have told Justin but he decided to wait until certain arrangements were made.  He and Cynthia had their own plot moving ahead.

 

The next evening Justin sensed that Brian was a little more chipper about their impending three-day separation.  “You are going to miss me when you’re in New York?” he wondered to Brian.  “Yeah,” Brian answered, “But you were right.  I do have to go.”  

 

“You’re acting a lot differently tonight, Brian.  I’m getting a little suspicious,” Justin told him, “Is there something I ought to know?”  

 

“Well, Kiddo,” Brian smirked, ”That’s having the shoe on the other foot for a change, I guess.  Actually I do have to ask you for your permission for something.”   “Brian, you do not need my permission for anything,” Justin responded.  

 

“Yes I do, Honey,” Brian told him, “The Institute told Cynthia that we had to have your permission to exhibit your work in our office for the two weeks after your exhibition.  It’s OK with them but you have to give permission too.  It will be good for you.  Some important people will see your stuff.”  

 

“ I don’t think I’m quite ready for that yet, Brian,” Justin protested, “It may be too soon.”  “Cynthia and I want you to grant permission, Sunshine.” Brian repeated.  “You sound like you are prepared to use force,” Justin smiled at Brian.  “I am always prepared to use force, Babe,” Brian agreed  “But not for this.  I want you to allow us to show your stuff because I want to do it.”  

 

“Well,” Justin wiggled, “I’ll give you that permission because I want you to see my exhibition.”  “That’s not good enough,” Brian demanded. “Not because you want me to see your exhibition but because I want you to let us.” 

 

“OK,” Justin gave in  “But I don’t get it.  I don’t know why you’re being so mean about it.”  “I’m sorry if you think I’m being mean, Baby.  I’m not.  I could never be mean to you.  But I won’t need to see your exhibit at my office.  I’m going to see it at the Institute.  They agreed to leave the exhibit up an extra day for us, not for the public, just for us. Cynthia is setting up a private party.  I’ll be home that morning and just about everybody we asked is coming.  And we do not need your permission for that but I do hope you’ll come.”

 

“Brian,” Justin told him, “You really must be an important guy in this town.”  Brian answered, “Well I am not without influence in this town if I choose to use it.  Actually we’ve done some pro bono work for your Institute in the past and I think they’d like us to do more.”  

 

“And why didn’t you ever tell me that till now?” Justin quizzed him.  “Because you’re so talented I knew a lot of good things would come your way over there, and, knowing you, I figured you’d suspect I was pulling some strings,” Brian admitted.  “I hope you never did?” Justin remarked tentatively.  “No,” Brian said, “I never did.  I knew you wanted to make it all on your own.  But maybe I would have if it were necessary, because you’re the most important thing in this town to me.”  

 

“You are getting really good with slick answers, Mr. Kinney,” Justin told him.  “I’m in advertising, Mr. Taylor,” Brian responded,  “What would you expect?”

 

“This whole business is working out really well, Sweetheart,” Justin said, “I’m almost glad you’re going away for three days.  I think it has actually brought us closer together.”  “I guess it’s all right with me if you want to be glad that I’ll be gone for three days,” Brian answered, “But I hope it won’t get to be a habit for you.”  “Don’t worry, Baby,” Justin reassured him.

 

“Isn’t it about time for us to start getting ready for your trip?” Justin suggested.  “Oh, I can pack over the weekend.  I don’t have to leave till Monday morning,” Brian told him.  “Brian,” Justin asked, “Are you missing my point again?”  “Not at all,” Brian grinned. 


	22. Chapter 22 - Confidence

It had been a long three days for Justin and Brian.  Brian had been in New York landing an important account.  Justin had been exhibiting some of his work at the Institute.  It was their first separation since they had gotten back together.  They had wondered how it would work out, but things went pretty well.  Justin was pleased that Brian had called him ten times in the three days and might have called even more often if Justin hadn’t been busy with the show.  Brian was pleased that Justin seemed so happy to hear from him each time he called.

  

Their programs had both been successful.  Brian had won the account and he was fairly sure that the business would have gone somewhere else if he hadn’t handled the negotiations himself.  Brian had not wanted to go to New York but Justin had insisted, and Justin had been right to insist.  Brian was proud of the kid’s good sense, better than his own he was thinking.

 

Justin’s exhibition came off even better than he had hoped though he was sorry that Brian had not been there with him.  The Post-Gazette art critic had visited and had some encouraging words even though the newspaper did not review student shows.  The critic had told Justin that he had been alerted to the show by a friend and was glad he had come.  Justin wondered if Brian had been involved in that scenario somehow.  He decided he would not try to find out, but that was not a definite decision, he also decided.

 

Brian had arranged a private party at the exhibition for that evening so that he could see the show as it had been presented to the public.  Then the exhibit would be transferred to Brian’s office where it would be shown for another two weeks.  Justin was a little nervous about that but he was very pleased that Brian had such confidence in his ability.

 

“I would like Brian even if I didn’t love him,” Justin was thinking.  Brian was harboring similar thoughts about Justin as his plane took off  for the short hop to Pittsburgh.  They were both eager for the reunion.

 

Justin was puzzled about one thing though as he drove toward Pittsburgh International to meet Brian’s plane.  He had received an  e-mail from Ethan.  Ethan wrote that he had contacted Brian while Brian was in New York and that they had seen each other.  According to Ethan, they discussed a situation that Brian had said he would have to ask Justin about.  Brian had told Ethan that he trusted Justin’s judgment on that situation more than his own.  

 

“You’ve got a great guy,” Ethan had written, “And he has great confidence in you. He said he depends on you a lot.  You’re a lucky kid.”  Justin knew he was a lucky kid.  He knew the other stuff that Ethan had written too, but he was still glad to hear it from Ethan.  But Ethan had not told him what the situation was.  Brian had also told him about seeing Ethan and that he would have a question for him when he got home.  

 

All the confidence Brian had in him made Justin just a little nervous.  “I hope I don’t foul it up,” he thought, as he parked at the airport.

 

Justin did not mention that particular concern driving back to town from the airport.  Since he was twenty now, he was less impetuous than he was at nineteen – not  that he didn’t want to know.  Brian told him about landing the contract.  “You’re amazing, Sunshine,” he said, “You were right.  I had to be there.  I didn’t want to go.  I am really learning to have a lot of confidence in you.”  

 

“Then why are you gripping your seatbelt so hard that your hands are turning white?” Justin asked him.  “It’s not your driving, Honey,” Brian replied, “It’s just this damn Parkway West.”  “I don’t think I believe you,” Justin countered.  Justin was smiling.  Brian just smiled back at him.

 

Brian had to stop at the office and then back to the loft to change clothes. “I wish we had more time,” Brian grinned at Justin.  “Later,” Justin told him.  “Later,” Brian echoed.  They did have to keep moving in order to get to their private party at the Institute but they made it on time. 

Cynthia was a great hostess and the party was a success.  She had drawn Justin aside to thank him for his help.  “You are the best thing that ever happened to Brian,” she told him, “He is the top advertising man I have ever known but he is so disgustingly stubborn.  We are so lucky now to have you to get him to do the right thing.” 

 

 “It’s not me,” Justin told her.  “Yes it is,” Cynthia insisted, “I have a lot of confidence in you.”  Justin just shrugged.  Everybody seemed to have a lot of confidence in him.  He wasn’t sure how much confidence he had in himself.  He wondered again about the question Brian had brought back from New York.

 

All the gang was there and they were impressed.  There were other people there whom Brian had invited.  Justin didn’t know them all but they were also impressed.  Justin was feeling pretty good about the whole affair when Emmett came up and put his arm around him.  

 

“This must be your biggest night since you were King of Babylon,” Emmett told him.  Then Brian came along and removed Emmett’s arm from Justin’s shoulders.  “Don’t you know that you’re not allowed to touch the artwork?” he told Emmett, and before Emmett could react, Brian continued, “This twink is the most beautiful and the most valuable object in the room.”  Justin felt like fainting but he didn’t want to miss a moment of this.

 

When the festivities were over and they were back at the loft, Justin lit the fireplace and sat down.  Brian joined him there.  “I guess this is the best night of your life?” Brian asked.  “Yep, it is,” Justin  responded, “Wanna know why?”  “Tell me,” Brian said.  “Because you’re back,” Justin smiled.  Brian felt so good that he wondered if this might not be the best night of his own life.

 

“Remember, Baby, I told you on the phone that I had a question for you?” Brian asked Justin.  “Oh, I had forgotten but I remember now that you’ve reminded me,” Justin replied.  “I don’t think I believe you,” Brian smiled.  Justin smiled back.

 

“You know there’s a gay bar in New York that caters to guys with a Pittsburgh connection.  Ethan doesn’t go there often but he told me that he met somebody there who knows us,” Brian told him, “He wanted to talk to me so Ethan and I met him there.  It was Blake.”

“Blake Wyzecki,” Justin responded, “Ted’s Blake.”  “Yeah,” Brian said, “It seems that he did manage to get himself off drugs.  In fact he’s working as a drug counselor now.  He had the guy he’s working for with him, and he swears Blake is completely clean.  Blake said the only reason he left Pittsburgh was because he didn’t want to disappoint Ted.” 

“That’s great, Brian,” Justin said, “I kind of liked Blake.  Remember he got the bond for Vic. Do you want to know if I think we should tell Ted?”

 “It’s a little more complicated than that, Baby,” Brian continued, “They want Blake to come back here and work in Pittsburgh.  They’re opening up here.  Blake won’t be in charge but he does know the territory.  Blake won’t come if it will bother Ted to have him back in Pittsburgh.”

  

“I wonder if Blake would be interested in getting back with Ted,” Justin thought out loud.  “He would,” Brian replied, “I asked him and he said he would.”  “I guess Ted needs to be told,” Justin said, “What would you do, Brian?”  

 

“I guess I’d just tell Blake to call Ted and ask him, but I don’t know how to handle this kind of shit.  I need you to tell me what to do most of the time, and I thought I’d give Ted and Blake a better chance by having you decide what we should do, if anything.”

 

“That’s not a bad idea of yours at all, Brian, but it might not be enough.  This is not just about Ted.  Mikey and Emmett have to know too.  They have to give Blake a chance. I think Mikey will be OK, but Emmett will be a harder sell.  He did not like Blake, but if he knows it would make Ted happy….  There are some things we need to do, and we ought to do them because Ted is our friend, and Blake too, I guess.” 

 

“I’ll be with you if you want me, Sunshine,” Brian volunteered, “But you’ll have to do the work.  You’ll be the boss this time around.  I’d klutz up the whole thing but I know you can do it.”

 

“We can do it, Brian.  I’ll need you.  I don’t think I could do anything without you,” Justin told him.

 

“You are unbelievable, Baby,” Brian pulled Justin closer to himself, “And I’ve got you.  I must be the luckiest guy in the world.”

 

“Sorry, Brian, but that position is already filled,” Justin told Brian as he kissed him, “And I have no intention of giving it up, but you can be second luckiest if you want to.”

 

“Would it do any good to argue with you?” Brian asked.  “Does it ever?” Justin asked him back.


	23. Chapter 23 - Bunny Hop

It was the day after Easter.  The atmosphere in the loft was cool.  Justin was not speaking to Brian.  Oh, he still loved him and he still thought Brian was the greatest guy in the world, but there were some things…. 

Justin had risen first and was puttering around the kitchen preparing breakfast for one, when Brian ambled in.  “Speaking this morning?” he asked.  “To some people,” came the response.

 

“Well it’s cold in here,” Brian countered, “I think I’ll light the fireplace to warm things up.”  “You leave my fireplace out of this,” Justin objected, “This is between you and me.”

 

“It’s not your fireplace,” Brian responded,  “It was given to me, though I’ll admit you kind of took it over.  I think you’ve used it a time or two to calm me down when I was mad at you, and it always seemed to work.  You don’t have any reason to be mad at me anyhow.  What happened to you yesterday was exactly what happened to me on Christmas.”

 

“That was an accident at Christmas,” Justin claimed, “But what you did yesterday was planned months in advance.”  Now Justin wanted to smile but that was not how he and Brian conducted their arguments.  “Was that really an accident?” Brian wanted to know.

 

Justin had to smile at that but he turned his face away so that Brian could not see it.  “It probably was not an accident,” Justin answered, “But I wasn’t responsible for it.  I think Daphne thought you would be a better Santa Claus than I would, and brought the big suit on purpose, but I was not part of any of that at all.  I wouldn’t betray the guy I love – like some people would.”

 

Now it was Brian’s turn to smile but he didn’t let Justin see it.  He proceeded to turn on the fake flames in the electric fireplace.  “Would you mind throwing a couple of eggs in the skillet for me?” he called to Justin.  The silence that followed was broken by the cracking of a couple of eggs.  Brian smiled again.

 

All of this rigmarole was the result of their visit to Childrens’ Hospital the previous day.  The plan had been that Brian was going to play the Easter Bunny for the sick kids because the bunny suit that Daphne’s sorority owned was too big for Justin but a good fit for Brian.  Knowing this long in advance, Brian had ordered a new bunny suit, much more elaborate than the one on hand, and he had ordered an exact fit for Justin.  It was that suit Daphne brought when she came to pick them up, and so it was Justin who successfully played the Easter Bunny.  It wasn’t that he didn’t have fun on that job.  It was just the principle of the thing.

 

The breakfast passed in the continued silence.  When they were finished eating, Brian sat down on the floor in front of the couch facing the fake flames, and waited for Justin to cuddle up beside him.  He did not have to wait long.  Brian put his arm around the blond twink.  “Are you going to talk to me, Babe?” he asked the kid, “It’s kind of nice not having to listen to you jabbering in my ear all the time, but it’s no way to conduct a relationship.   I happen to like you a lot, you know”

 

“Well I guess, if that’s the way you feel about it, I’ll talk to you.  But I don’t know if I can ever trust you again,” Justin groused.  “It was just a little surprise.  That’s what it was.  You like surprises,” Brian defended himself.

 

“Well, there are surprises and there are surprises,” Justin allowed, “I would have been glad to play the Easter Bunny if you were afraid to.  You didn’t need such an elaborate scheme.  My best friend betrayed me, that’s what happened.”

 

“I did not betray you,” Brian objected.  “I don’t mean you, Silly, I mean Daphne, “ Justin replied with a smile.  Brian bent over and kissed Justin.  “ I won the battle yesterday and you are not going to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat,” Brian crowed.  “Well I’m still going to try?”  Justin responded.

“Cut it out,” Brian told Justin, “You had a great time and I know it, you know it, and I know you know it.”  “OK, I’ll admit I had a great time.  I love being with those kids, even if one of them did tell me he liked Santa Claus better,” Justin responded.  

 

“That’s OK,” Brian patted him on the head, “You were just adorable with those big floppy ears and that fluffy tail.  But that Santa is a real pro, and you’ll get better with practice.  Someday you’ll be as good as I am.”  “Now that’s a goal I’m not sure I want to pursue,” Justin laughed as he reached over to kiss the guy he loved.

 

The battle was certainly over but neither one of them wanted to get up and proceed with the day’s activities, most of which would not be together.

 

“Brian?” Justin asked.  “Oy,” Brian thought as Justin went on, “It was a nice idea for us to have the Easter Bunny visit Gus after the hospital.  Gus was really excited about it, but did you know Mel and Linz were having a picnic for forty people?  Why weren’t we invited?”  “We were invited,” Brian murmured.  “I didn’t know,” Justin insisted.  “I didn’t tell you,” Brian admitted.  “Did they all know about what was going on then?”  Justin wanted to know.  “Yeah,” Brian said, “They all knew.  That’s why Emmett had his camera and Ted had his camcorder.  Your performance was recorded for posterity.  Are you going to be mad again?”

 

“No, Sweetheart,” Justin responded, “I’m not going to get mad again, but somehow, someday, I’m going to get even.  Count on it.  And I’m sure you won’t be mad at me then, will you?”

 

“That Easter Bunny suit cost a fortune.  So we got to use it for two events.  Maybe you’ll even want to wear it to Babylon some night.” Brian replied.  “Maybe,” Justin laughed, “But don’t hold your breath.” 

 

Justin pushed closer to Brian.  “I was never really mad at you at all,” Justin told Brian.  “I knew that,” Brian answered.

 

“How did you know that?” Justin wanted to know.  “I figured if you were really mad you would have slept on the couch, but you didn’t.  And you were not so unfriendly last night as I recall, so I guessed you weren’t all that mad,” Brian replied.

 

“I could have still been mad,” Justin laughed at him, “But why should I suffer because you’re a rat?”


	24. Chapter 24 - Turned Off

Brian and Justin were sitting in their accustomed positions on the floor in front of their electric fireplace watching the fake flames dart up and down and back and forth.  They were not talking because they did not need to talk.  It was enough for them to sit cuddled together under their blanket.  They had made some big decisions and solved some serious problems in front of that fireplace, and they had even toasted marshmallows with its heat.  Brian had not been very fond of the fireplace in the beginning, or marshmallows either, but had been converted.  He liked the arrangement now as much as Justin did.  The spring had arrived though and, logically, it seemed that the heat of the fireplace would soon become a problem. 

“You like this fireplace, don’t you?” Brian broke the silence to ask Justin.  “It’s just the best thing in this loft,” Justin replied continuing, after a brief pause, “After you, of course.”

 

“I guess that pause was planned to scare me,” Brian countered, “I wouldn’t like to come in second after a fireplace.”  Justin laughed at him: “How can you be so sure you’d even be second?  You could be third or fourth maybe.”

 

“This fireplace makes you brave, Little Twink,” Brian responded, “But I’m pretty sure I have you just where I want you.”  “Well,” Justin responded, “I’m pretty sure you have me just where I want to be,” and after another pause, “And vice-versa too, I hope.”

 

Brian bent over and kissed Justin.  “What was that for?” Justin asked.  “To shut you up,” Brian responded, “Did it work?”  “What will you do if it didn’t?” Justin wanted to know?”  “Try it again,” Brian answered.  “Then it didn’t work,” Justin smiled.  Brian kissed him again.  He felt he had to keep trying.

 

It was a while before the conversation resumed.  “It will be too hot for the fireplace before long,” Brian pointed out, “Then what will you do when you want to get smart-alecky?”  “I guess I’ll have to improvise,” Justin replied.  And there was a little more silence.

 

“I know something you don’t know,” Brian said finally.  It was unlike Brian to be the silence breaker, but he usurped Justin’s usual prerogative because he had something he wanted to tell the kid.  “Is it worth knowing?” Justin responded.

 

“Don’t you start again or I’ll never get to tell you what I want to tell you,” Brian cut him off, “Why aren’t you your usual inquisitive self tonight?”  “I guess I’m just so happy to be here with you that nothing else seems important to me,” Justin replied coyly.  “You are not going to seduce me, Baby,” Brian insisted, “At least not until I tell you what I learned today.”

 

“Bet I could if I tried hard enough,” Justin insisted, “But we’ll do it your way.  What is this important information you have?” 

 

“Well,” Brian began, “The Ace Fireplace guy was in the office today to plan the fall campaign, “They have a new model coming out.”  “I don’t want a new model,” Justin cried, “I want this one, and no advertising guy is going to sell me a new model either.”  “Will you shut up and let me finish?” Brian gritted his teeth, “I don’t want to sell you a new model. I want to tell you something about this model.  Something you’ll be glad to find out.”

 

“I know about this model,” Justin maintained, “It makes you nicer than you usually are.”  “If you don’t shut up,” Brian insisted, “No fireplace in the world will keep me nicer than I usually am.”

 

“Well why don’t you go on and do it,” Justin groused, “Instead of messing around?”  That broke Brian up and he started to laugh.  “Maybe I won’t tell you at all.” Brian proposed.  “Oh yes you will,” Justin insisted.

 

“Well, I was telling Clem about how much we like the fireplace and how much we will miss it during the summer and he told me that the heat can be turned off.  All you have to do is …” Brian said before he got interrupted.  “…”Move the purple bar as far as it will go to the left, hold down the red button, and click the green one to the right,” Justin finished Brian’s sentence for him.

 

“How the Hell did you know that?” Brian wanted to know.  “It’s in the instructions,” Justin told him, “The instruction book that you said you didn’t need to read.”  “Well, why didn’t you tell me?” Brian asked.  “I thought you knew,” Justin smiled at Brian, “You said you could figure everything out without reading the book so I thought you had figured that out.”

 

“Justin,” Brian responded, “Honey,… Can you tell me why I love you so much when you are so exasperating?”  “I guess,” Justin replied, “It must be because I’m so lovable.”  

 

“That can’t be the reason,” Brian sighed, “That just can’t be the reason…. You know you wouldn’t get away with this stuff with anybody else.  You couldn’t have pulled this on Ethan.”

 

“So?” Justin answered, “I wouldn’t want to get away with this stuff with anybody else but you.  I love you.  Sometimes you just don’t seem to get it.  Why in the world would I want to irritate Ethan or anybody else?  You’re the only guy in the universe I’d want to irritate… that I will ever want to irritate… for ever and ever… and you know why, too.  You have to know .”   Justin ran his hand through Brian’s hair.

 

“Well I guess that’s my answer,” Brian surrendered. “I guess that’s why I love you so darn much.  Can you tell me though why I can’t irritate you as much as you irritate me?”

 

“You probably could if you just took the time to learn,” Justin consoled him, “Maybe if you had an instructional manual.  No, I guess that wouldn’t work.  Want me to teach you?” 


	25. Chapter 25 - A Little Reassurance

Justin and Brian had adjusted the fireplace so that it did not give off any heat.  That way they could enjoy the crackling fake flames and the fireplace’s other attractions in the warmer months without heating up the loft.  Justin was especially glad that the fireplace was available because he had something to discuss with Brian.  Justin had found that the fireplace made some things easier to do, and he was not sure how Brian would react to his news.  He wasn’t even sure how he wanted Brian to react to his news.

 

When Brian got home from work, he found Justin waiting for him, already seated on the floor in front of the darting flames.  Brian threw off his coat and sat down beside Justin without changing into more comfortable attire.  

 

“This is bad, isn’t it?” he began the conversation.  “I thought you liked sitting in front of the fire with me,” Justin answered.  “You know I do,” Brian smiled, “And you know what I meant, and that was not what I meant.”  “Well, I just like a little reassurance every once in a while,” Justin defended himself.  “More than every once in a while, but that’s OK with me, too,” Brian told him, “These days I don’t mind you knowing I like having you around.”  “Thanks for saying that,” Justin purred.

 

“But,” Brian responded, “That does not mean that I approve of every little scheme you come up with, which is exactly what I hope this isn’t.”  “I am not a schemer,” Justin insisted,  “I do get ideas sometimes, pretty good ideas, but not schemes.”  “Call them what you want to, Sunshine, is it one of your latest ‘ideas’ that you want to tell me about?” Brian asked.

 

“No, it is not,” Justin responded, trying unsuccessfully to sound peeved, “I have some news that I want to tell you so you cannot accuse me later of not telling you as soon as I found out.”  “Now that sounds interesting,” Brian laughed at him, “I would never accuse you of keeping anything from me because I know you would never ever do that.”  “Are you being sarcastic, Mr. Kinney?” Justin asked though a broad grin.  “Not at all. Never, Mr. Taylor,” Brian answered through an even broader grin.

 

“How long is this going to go on,” Brian wondered, “Before you get to this wonderful news that you are going to tell me?  “As soon as I can get a word in, I’m going to tell you,” Justin answered.  Brian wrapped both arms around his little twink.  “Take your time,” he said, “I’ve got all night.” 

 

“Well, today I was walking by the music building at school and I saw some of Professor Green’s violin students,” Justin began, “They know me from…”  “I know how they know you,” Brian broke in.  “Are you going to let me tell you the news without interruption?” Justin complained before continuing, “Anyhow, they told me that Ethan is coming to town in two weeks to audition for the Pittsburgh Symphony.”

 

“That’s a big break for him, isn’t it?” Brian said, “Will he get it, do they think?”  “They say he might,” Justin answered, ”Professor Green told them that Ethan has made a lot of progress since he went to New York and he was our best when he was here.”  “That’s pretty good news then,” Brian said, “’From the Street Corner to Heinz Hall – A Major Success Story’ is what they can call Ethan’s biography.”

 

“You’re all right with that then?” Justin asked, “You don’t mind having Ethan living back here in Pittsburgh?”  “Why would I mind?” Brian asked him back, “You know I don’t go to the symphony that often, and when I have gone, I have never taken much notice of who was playing the violins.  It will be no bother to look for Ethan up there on stage.”

 

“That’s not what I meant and you know it,” Justin told him,  “It’s just that some of the guys thought that maybe…”  “Did that thought occur to you?” Brian asked him.  “Of course not, Brian, there is no way I’d ever pick Ethan over you. Do you think I’m dumb enough to repeat the biggest mistake of my life?  I was just a little afraid that you…. That did bother me a little.”  

“Sunshine Baby, I’m not at all worried about Ethan coming back to town,” Brian told Justin, running his fingers through the twink’s blond hair, “You can even invite him over here to dinner, as long as what’s served are my favorites and not his.  And let me also give you a bit of advice, Kiddo, if you ever need a violinist, pick Ethan over me every time.”  Justin was relieved.  He reached over and kissed Brian on the cheek.

 

“You keep in touch with Ethan by e-mail, don’t you?” Brian remarked to Justin, “I wonder why he didn’t tell you he was coming in for the audition?”  “Oh I’m sure he will,” Justin replied, “Professor Green may have known even before Ethan did.”  “Make arrangements to see him while he’s here for the auditions.  You can see him by yourself if you want to but I’ll be glad to come along if I can schedule it,” Brian told him.  “That’s a good idea…. But you wouldn’t mind if I saw him alone?”  Justin queried.

 

“Justin, you know I trust you.  I have no reason to be even a little bit jealous, do I?” Brian responded.  “Of course not,” Justin replied.  He was pleased about the trust part but he had some mixed feelings about the jealousy.

 

“Anyhow,” Brian assured Justin, “Ethan will probably have what’s-his-name, the piano player boy-friend, with him to inspire him at the audition.”  “Probably not,” Justin said.  

 

“He insisted you be there when he lost the violin competition, didn’t he?” Brian responded.  “They broke up,” Justin informed Brian, “Ethan told me last month that they had separated, at least for a while.”  

 

“The fireplace didn’t get lit up for that news.  How come you didn’t tell me that?” Brian wanted to know.    “I guess I forgot, or didn’t think you would care …” Justin replied.  “Or that I would be worried or jealous?” Brian completed the sentence for Justin.  “Not at all,” Justin whimpered.

 

“Well,” Brian smiled, “You can tell Ethan that if he needs a muse for the auditions, he can borrow you, but remind him he lost the last time.”  “Brian,” Justin whined.

 

“You know, Sweetheart,” Brian decided, “I have checked my schedule and found that, whatever time you meet Ethan, I am free, and really want to come along, if that’s OK with you, and it better be.”

 

“Thanks” Justin smiled at him.  “For what?” Brian asked.  “For everything,” Justin told him, “And a whole lot more.”  


	26. Chapter 26 - Dinner for Three

Brian was sitting at a table for three at Gino’s, his favorite Italian restaurant, situated on Mt. Washington, overlooking downtown Pittsburgh.  The other two seats were vacant so he had time to think to himself about other nights up there.  He had carefully avoided the table where they were seated the first time he had brought Justin to Gino’s, which was also the first time ….  Brian smiled to himself.  He hoped that the twink would not bring up that subject but he knew that Justin was often carried away by enthusiasm.  Justin had insisted on Gino’s for tonight.  Brian had at least made sure they weren’t at that same table.  The rest was up to some higher power. 

Brian also thought that he needed to be careful that Justin did not find out he had blown off an important client to attend this little affair.  He could fix any problem that might come up with the client.  Anyhow there were lots of important clients, but there was only one Justin. Brian had found that out.  Justin wanted him to be there, and he wanted to be there himself.  Not that he was worried at all.

 

The evening promised to be an interesting one because the third party was Ethan Gold, in town for an audition with the Pittsburgh Symphony.  Justin had gone with Ethan to the audition for good luck.  The pair were to walk across the Smithfield Street Bridge and ride up the side of the mountain on the Incline, a kind of almost vertical cable car, which would bring them up the 500 foot escarpment and deposit them a few steps from Gino’s.  Through the large picture window Brian could see one of the cable cars coming up the steep inclined plane and he figured the guys were probably on that one.  He hoped all would go well.  He grinned.  The evening had begun frighteningly. Gino had told him when he arrived that it was “all you can eat” spaghetti night.  

 

“You must hate me,” Gino had complained good-naturedly when Brian  arrived, “Bringing that blond spaghetti eating machine up here on ‘all you can eat’ night.”  “I think maybe two spaghetti eating machines tonight, Gino,” Brian had warned him.

 

The awaited pair came through the door and headed in Brian’s direction.  Dispensing with formality, Justin told Brian.  “You should have been there, Brian.”  “I don’t play the fiddle, remember. Hi, Ethan,” Brian interrupted him.

 

“Cut it out, Brian,” Justin retorted, “I’m going to tell you about it and that’s that, so just sit there and listen.  There were six guys auditioning.  Maybe it wasn’t six guys.  There might have been some girls in there too.”  Ethan nodded but did not dare break in. 

 

“They all played behind this big black screen and the judges sat out in front where they could hear the music but not see the players,” Justin ran on, “I was out in front too so I didn’t even know which one was Ethan.  They were all so good I don’t see how the judges could pick one over the others.  I’m sure Ethan was the best though.”

 

Justin stopped for air, so Brian pointed out to him, “Sweetheart, if you had been playing a fiddle behind that big black screen, I would have been able to pick you out with no trouble at all.” 

 

“See what I have to put up with?” Justin looked at Ethan.  “You love it,” Ethan replied smiling at Brian.  “I know,” Justin said, smiling at them both.

 

Ethan and Justin both ordered spaghetti and Gino came over to tell them not to worry because they had made extra when they heard Justin was coming.  Brian ordered, as he always did, something that sounded funny, and which Justin did not recognize when it came.

 

“Well?” Brian asked Ethan, “Sunshine here told me everything about the audition except whether you got the job.  I hope you did.”

 

“Oh we won’t know about that for maybe two weeks.  I think I did well, and there are going to be two of us hired out of the six, so the odds are 1 in 3,” Ethan answered.

 

“He will, Brian,” Justin chimed in, “He was the best.”  “You said you didn’t know which one he was,” Brian laughed.  “Well I knew he was the best,” Justin maintained.

 

Part way through bowl 3 of the spaghetti, Justin told Ethan, “This restaurant is very special for Brian and me.”  “Yes,” Brian interrupted, “Because it’s my favorite restaurant, and we are both crazy about the food here,   Right, Sweetheart?”  “Yes, Honey,” Justin replied, “That’s exactly what I was trying to say.  That’s all I was going to say.”  Brian smiled.  “I  bet,” he said.

 

“We have a favorite table here, too,” Justin said to Ethan, “But this isn’t it.”  “Sorry,” Brian told him, “It was already taken.”  “It was empty when we got here and for an hour or so afterward,” Justin wondered.  

“Gee, then maybe I forgot which one it is,” Brian smirked.  Justin said nothing but he answered Brian with a look that Brian understood perfectly.

 

The meal went well.  Justin and Ethan tied in the unspoken spaghetti race with four bowls each.  “I don’t know how you guys can do it,” Brian wondered,  “If I ate all those carbohydrates, I’d look like a balloon.”  “ That’s OK,” Ethan smiled, “Violinists don’t need to be skinny.”

 

“Young people don’t put on weight,” Justin counseled Ethan, “That’s a middle-age problem.”  “Which you may never reach,” Brian warned him, “If you don’t lay off.”

 

“You know,” Ethan told them both as he and Justin finished up their pecan balls with hot fudge sauce, “You guys have what I want, hopefully with Tom, but if not with him, with somebody.”  “Are you and Tom getting back together?” Justin asked.  “I think we both want to.  A little separation sometimes helps, I think,” Ethan answered.

 

“It does,” Brian told him, “Sometimes you have to be without something to know how much you need it.”

Justin didn’t say anything.  He just glowed.

 

Ethan had to get back to New York the next morning.  He promised that they would be the first to know when he got the news from the Symphony, as they left him off at his hotel.

 

When Brian and Justin got back to the loft, Brian changed clothes and came out of the bedroom to find the fireplace lit.  “Oh, oh,” he said, “The evening’s not over yet, I see.”  “I’m not in charge of what time it is,” Justin answered him, “If you don’t want the fireplace lit, we can turn it off.”

 

“Leave it be,” Brian told him as he sat down next to Justin on the floor, facing the fireplace.  “Thanks for being so nice to Ethan,” Justin said to Brian.  “Ethan’s a pretty nice kid, Baby – as long as he isn’t chasing you – and you aren’t chasing him,” Brian replied.

 

“Brian, Honey,” Justin told him, “You are getting exasperating.”  “You’re cute when you’re exasperated,” Brian said, putting his arm around his blond twink.  Justin responded by laying his head on Brian’s shoulder.

 

“Why didn’t you get us seated at our usual table?” Justin wondered.  “I guess I didn’t think of it,” Brian suggested.

 

“Oh, no,” Justin went on, “It was because it wasn’t just us, that’s why.  You want to save that table for when it’s just us.  You can’t fool me.  That’s why, isn’t it?  That has to be why.” Justin insisted.  “Well maybe, if that’s what you think,” Brian countered.  “Oh Brian,” Justin gushed, “You are so sentimental.”  Brian shut up.  He thought he was ahead at that point. 

 

After a few minutes, Justin renewed the conversation. “Thanks for being so nice to me too, Brian,” he said.  “What’s that all about?” Brian asked cautiously..

 

“I called your office from the auditions but you had already left,” Justin informed him, “Cynthia told me that Amalgamated is in town and wanted you to meet with them tonight, but you put them off.  You probably should have met with them.  They are a big account.  But you cancelled, and you did it for me.”

 

“Maybe, I did it so that I could see you and Ethan together, just to make sure…,” Brian replied   “No, Brian, Quit being so evasive.  You did it for me.” Justin insisted, “ I know you too well for you to get away with that big, tough Brian stuff. You did it for me.”

 

“All right, what if I did?” Brian answered him,  “I wanted you to have what you wanted tonight, and I’m going to help you get Ethan settled down if he comes back to town, and I’m always going to be there when you need me – or even just when you want me.  If that’s a crime, I plead ‘Guilty’ – and that’s that.  You’re always telling me I’m the boss around here.  Well, the boss has spoken.”

 

Justin just smiled at him.  Then he said, “Have I told you lately that I love you?”  

 

“Enough to make me tired,” Brian replied,  “Let’s go to bed.”  “I thought you’d never ask.” Justin told him,  “I was beginning to think you were going to keep me talking all night.” 


	27. Chapter 27 - No Fire-Works

It was just after midnight when Brian and Justin walked into the loft.  The fourth of July was over.  Brian was not very steady on his feet and had to be supported by Justin’s shoulder.  They had spent the evening at Point State Park where the Pittsburgh Symphony played a holiday concert and Pittsburgh’s biggest fireworks display of the year had lit up a clear moonless dark blue sky, thrilling the on-lookers and drawing lots of “oohs’ and “aahs.” There had been a crowd estimated at 70,000 crammed into the 36-acre park, and among them had been the whole Brian-Justin group.  Lindsey and Mel had set up an elaborate party.  They had eaten a lavish picnic meal together at the park early and had enjoyed the concert and the fireworks.  Brian had been somewhat reluctant to attend but finally went so that he could hold Gus for the fireworks display.  But Brian had actually enjoyed himself – mostly in ways that he now wished he hadn’t. 

Brian flopped down on the floor in front of the couch.  “OK Sunshine,” he said, “Turn on your damned fireplace and yell at me.  I deserve it.”

 

“Get up Brian,” Justin responded, while putting away the gear they had taken to the park for the festivities,  “If you can, that is.  I can’t think of anything that I would want to yell at you about.  It’s late.  I have no intention of lighting the fireplace at this hour, and I cannot imagine what you think I would want to yell at you about.”

 

“Then I’m going to light it.  I feel bad and I want you to yell at me,” Brian insisted, “That’s the only thing that will make me feel better.  I was stupid tonight.”

 

“You can’t light the fireplace, Brian,” Justin warned him, “In your condition you’ll set the loft on fire even if the fireplace is fake.  Get up and go to bed.  You’ll feel better in the morning.” 

 

“I won’t if you don’t yell at me,” Brian went on, “I feel bad about tonight and I don’t even remember some of it.  I did hold Gus for the fireworks, didn’t I?  That’s why I went.”

 

“I held Gus for the fireworks.” Justin informed him. “He loved them.  The noise was deafening and he wasn’t even scared.  You’ve got a brave son, Bri.  You and Mikey slept through the 1812 Overture and all the fireworks.  None of us could believe it and neither could any of the crowd around us.”

 

“I did not sleep through the concert,” Brian defended himself, “I could hear all those wrong notes your fiddler-ex-boyfriend was playing.”

 

“Oh you were awake for part of the concert.” Justin agreed, “We all knew that because that’s when you and Mikey disappeared and we found out the security guys were looking for you two because of some kind of illegal fireworks being thrown around.  Mel made up some cock-and-bull story which got them off your track.”

 

“Damn lawyers are always getting crooks off,” Brian interjected.

 

“Lucky for you this time,” Justin laughed, “And for your information, Ethan was not playing with the symphony.  Maybe by fall you’ll be able to hear some of his wrong notes but tonight’s wrong notes were somebody else’s.”

 

“Me and Mikey found a lot of the old crowd from Babylon at the park,” Brian rambled

 

“We knew,” Justin answered him.  “It must have been just like the wild old days for you and Mikey.”

 

“Yeah, it was, but I think we went too far,” Brian continued, “Troy’s gang had “E” and I snorted just a little of it.  It must have been bad stuff because it didn’t used to bother me like it did tonight.”

“Maybe it’s because you don’t take it regularly any more and your system isn’t used to it,” Justin suggested.  “It might have been better if you hadn’t taken any at all.”

 

“I think it would have been all right if we hadn’t run into Bart and his bunch.” Brian ran on, “They had a keg of beer stashed right under the cop’s noses and they never even noticed.  We shouldn’t have helped them drink it.”

 

“Probably not.” Justin agreed with him.

 

“Why aren’t you mad at me, Baby?” Brian wanted to know. “I don’t want you to approve of what I did.  You ought to be mad at me.  I fouled up big-time.  I’m sorry.  Why don’t you just yell at me and get it over with?”

 

Justin laughed at him.  “I told Ben that you and Mikey were just reliving your misspent youth,” Justin said, “And Ben told me that we must not expect the children to be perfect on the Fourth of July.”

 

“Isn’t anybody mad at me at all?” Brian wondered.

 

“I think Debbie was for a while.  She said you got her son drunk.” Justin told him

 

“That doesn’t count,” Brian mused, “She’s always blaming me for everything when she isn’t telling me how wonderful I am.”

 

“And maybe Lindsey is still a little mad at you,” Justin went on.

 

“Because I didn’t hold Gus for the fireworks?” Brian guessed.

 

“Well that, and another thing too,” Justin related, “Some old lady came over to make a fuss over Gus.  She wanted to know which of us were the parents and we told her.  Then you said you also wanted her to meet your boy-friend and Lindsey’s girl-friend, and you scared the poor old lady away.”

 

“And you never got mad at me? Not even when I was such an ass.” Brian said in wonderment.

 

Justin sat down on the floor next to Brian and wrapped his arms around him.  “You were just that kind of ass when I fell in love with you,” he told Brian.  That made Brian smile.

 

“But maybe I got close to yelling at you on the way home.”  Justin mentioned.  “It took over an hour because of the traffic and you kept singing ‘America the Beautiful’ the whole way.  And maybe I was a tiny bit peeved when you were flirting with Hunter.” 

 

“Hunter?” Brian said, “Oh baby, I don’t remember that.  I’m sorry.”

 

“You don’t have to be sorry, Bri,” Justin told him.  “You know Hunter can’t understand what a stud like you sees in a twat like me.  Sometimes I don’t either.  Anyhow, he expects you to drop me any day now.  He propositioned you and then gave you his phone number for you to call him when I’m gone.”

 

“I didn’t take it, did I?” Brian questioned.

 

“Yes you did,” Justin told him, “It’s probably in your pocket.  That’s where you put it”

 

Brian thought for a while and said “But I wouldn’t need Hunter’s phone number.  He’s at Mikey’s so it must be Mikey’s phone number he gave me.”

 

“Yep,” Justin answered him, “I checked.”

 

“Sweetheart,” Brian asked. “If you’re not mad at me and you refuse to yell at me, why do I feel so bad about what I did tonight?”

 

“Conscience, Brian,” Justin responded, “Your own conscience is bothering you.  It’s telling you that you made some wrong choices tonight.”

 

“Conscience,” Brian wondered, “I never had any conscience before.  Is that part of this whole deal, too?”

 

“I’m afraid so,” Justin smiled at him, “You are just going to have to live with it.”

 

Brian threw both arms around Justin.  “If I have to live with a conscience to have you,” Brian said, “It’s worth it.”

 

“Tell me that sometime when you’re not stoned and drunk,” Justin laughed, “Let’s get you up if we can and then to bed.  You’ll be all better tomorrow.”

 

“If I still feel this bad tomorrow,” Brian said, “Will you please yell at me?”

 

“I guess so,” Justin told him.


	28. Chapter 28 - He's What?

He’s what?” Michael’s cry was loud enough to alert all the patrons in the diner and summon Debbie, who was taking orders at a nearby table, over to the booth where he was sitting.

 

It all started simply enough.  Mikey and Ben were breakfasting with Mel and Lindsay when Brian came into the diner and sauntered over to their table.  “He’s not here,” Mikey had laughed at Brian, “It’s his day off.  Don’t tell me you have lost Boy Wonder and don’t know where to find him.”

 

“Not at all,” Brian countered, “I know where he is.  I just thought since he was unavailable for breakfast that I would go slumming and eat with you guys.”

 

“Unavailable for breakfast,” Mel broke in, “I hope that’s not a bad sign.”

 

“It’s no sign at all, Madame Inquisitor.  We showered together this morning if you must know everything, and then he had someplace to go,” Brian responded.

 

“Oh no,” Michael insisted, “You’re not getting away with that.  We want to know where he’s gone.  We have a stake in this too.  We have to put up with ‘mean old Brian’ when things aren’t perfect with you two lovebirds.”

 

“To the airport,” Brian responded without elaboration.  

 

“Come on, Brian, we want to know.  Is he going someplace?  Where?  Why?” Michael insisted.

 

“Will you quit trying to give my kid apoplexy, Brian?” Debbie interrupted as she passed by, “I think you want to tell him as much as nebby little Mikey here wants to know.  You better not have mistreated my little Sunshine, or you’ll be sorry you picked this diner to eat in.”

 

“He’s just picking someone up from the New York flight,” Brian complained, “Jeez , aren’t we allowed to have a private life without my getting the third degree?  I thought you all would be glad to see me.”

 

“Somebody we know, isn’t it, Brian?” Lindsey returned to the subject, “Maybe a bit of a surprise?  Remember 

I ‘ve known you longer than anybody else here, and I know how you operate.  We’re going to find out anyway, and you’re here to tell us first for damage control.”

 

“Ethan Gold,” Brian admitted, “He’s picking up Ethan Gold.”

 

And that was what caused Mikey to let out the shout heard all around the diner if not all around the world.

 

“Well,” Ben entered the conversation, “Now I’m getting interested.  There’s more to the story, I suspect.  Are you going to tell us what it is?  I figure we’ll soon enough find out from Justin otherwise.”

 

“The fiddler is moving back to Pittsburgh.  He is joining the Pittsburgh Symphony.  We saw him when he auditioned a month ago and he got the job,” Brian announced.

 

“And you’re letting Justin  go out alone to pick him up at the airport.  Are you crazy or something?”  Mikey wanted to know.

 

“Shit, Michael,” Brian answered, “You have been telling me for years how much he loves me.  So have Mel and Linz, here.  Why the hell shouldn’t I trust him?  He wants to help Ethan out, and I don’t see why he shouldn’t.  Ethan isn’t such a bad kid and you know I want Justin to have some friends his own age.  That was another of your suggestions, if you remember.”

 

“Well I didn’t tell you to let him go out alone to pick up Ethan Gold at the airport,” Mikey groused.

 

“I couldn’t tell him not to go.  I wouldn’t tell him not to go.  What would you have told me if I had asked you what to do?” Brian inquired, “Actually, he’s spending the whole day helping Ethan to get settled in.  There are other kids going to be there too so they can be chaperones.  I am not worried at all.”

 

“Well, I think I could have thought of a better way to handle this whole business,” Michael grouched.  

 

Brian smiled.  “I think I’ll have the three-egg cheese omelet with home fries, Deb,” Brian gave his order.

 

“No dry rye toast , Brian” Debbie smiled too, “I think my little Mikey has got to you.”

 

And maybe he had.  Brian was a bit restless at work.  Cynthia noticed and mentioned it to him.  Cynthia knew what was going on.  Cynthia almost always knew everything.  There was a line of communication between her and Justin that Brian was not in on, and she was also very good at reading Brian’s moods – not as good as Justin was, and maybe not even as good as Lindsey, but good nevertheless.

 

Brian got home from work earlier than usual.  He had no idea when Justin would be home.  He had hoped Justin would be there when he got in, but there was no Justin.  Brian changed into comfortable clothes and paced for a bit.  Then he sat himself down on the floor and turned on the fireplace.  He was not worried about Justin.  He was not in the least suspicious.  That was not his style.  But he was concerned and he wanted his little twink back with him, as soon as possible.  

 

He had an hour or so to watch the darting flames and  wait.  It gave him time to think and that’s what he did.  He thought about the time before Justin had entered his life, comparing it to the time since.  He was a happy man, happier than he had ever been – but he wanted Justin back, right now or even sooner.  There had been problems along the way but things were perfect now, Brian thought to himself.

 

In due time, Justin bounced into the loft.  “What a day,” he told Brian, “There were six of us and we worked all day but Ethan’s apartment is in pretty good shape now.  Actually, a couple of the guys are still there but I wanted to come home.  I hoped I’d be home before you got here.  You must have come in earlier than usual.”

 

“It was a slow day at the office,” Brian responded, “so I decided to come home and wait for you.”

 

Justin flopped down next to Brian.  Brian put his arm around Justin and put his head onto Justin’s shoulder.

“Hey,” Justin objected,  “You’ve got your head on my shoulder.  I’m supposed to have my head on your shoulder.  What’s going on?”

 

Then Justin began to laugh, almost hysterically, Brian thought.  “Brian,” Justin exclaimed, “You’re sniffing at me. What are you doing? Are you looking for Ethan’s scent?”

 

“I am not sniffing at you, but I think I would remember Ethan’s scent if I smelled it.” Brian defended himself.

 

“Brian,” Justin laughed,  “If this weren’t so darn funny, my feelings could be hurt, and I could be pretty mad at you.  I wouldn’t have gone to help Ethan if you didn’t want me to go.  You know that.  You are the only guy in the world that I want – that I would ever want.  What’s got into you?”

 

“I’m sorry, Baby,” Brian told him, “I do trust you but I really don’t want ever to lose you.  I had breakfast with Mikey, Ben, Linz and Mel at the diner this morning, and they acted like I shouldn’t trust you.  It was all their fault.  When they found out you were with Ethan they were suspicious – but I guess I should have known better.  They don’t know “us” like we know “us.”  Brian told Justin all the details.

Justin kept laughing.  “Will you quit laughing for a minute,” Brian finally told him, “I’m sorry for being so dumb about this but it’s not that funny.”

 

“Oh Brian,” Justin answered him, “I love you, but this is kind of funny.”

 

“Well I must be missing the point,” Brian growled.

 

“You are, Honey,” Justin told him, “but that’s not your fault, though maybe you could have figured it out.  And you really ought to know by now I don’t want Ethan, or anybody else but you.” 

 

 “You knew that I baby-sat for Gus the day before yesterday,” Justin continued, “I told Lindsay and Melanie about Ethan.  It was no secret after all.  They knew I was going to pick him up at the airport.  They were putting you on, Brian.”

 

“Putting me on?  Damn!  Do you think Mikey knew too?” Brian asked.

 

“I didn’t tell Mikey but since Mel and Lindsey acted surprised,” Justin said, “I think Mikey must have known too.  But Brian, you should have known better than to get upset.  I hope you didn’t get upset.”

 

“I thought they might be putting me on.” Brian rationalized, “I guess they were getting me back for the old days, when I was ‘mean old Brian’ as Mikey likes to call me sometimes.  I wasn’t always real nice to them.” 

 

“Well,” Justin consoled him, “They shouldn’t have done such a mean thing to my new sensitive loving Brian.  That new Brian could never be anything but nice.”

 

“The ‘new sensitive loving Brian,’” Brian repeated.

 

“Sure,” Justin reminded him, “Look how well you’re taking this trick they played on you.”

 

“Sunshine Baby,” Brian declared, “They may sometime real soon find out that ‘mean old Brian’ is still alive and well.” 


	29. Chapter 29 - Niagara Fails

Justin and Brian were making one of their rare visits to Babylon.  They hade stopped on the spur of the moment and were standing at the bar looking to see who they knew when they noticed some kind of a stir in a corner away from them.  They were not really very interested in that until Emmett came out of the group and headed their way. 

“You two are invited to a party I’m giving tonight,” he told them.  

 

“What’s the event that has you giving a party?” Brian wanted to know.

 

“No, Silly,” Emmett laughed, “I’m a professional party giver.  You know that.  I’m not hosting the party, but as the mastermind behind it, I can assure you of an interesting evening.”

 

“So then,” Brian answered him, “Who’s hosting the party and why, if that is at least as important as you doing the planning?  And where is it?  If it’s in the back-room here, I can’t go because I’m not allowed.”

 

“Oh no,” Justin intervened, “That’s not quite true.  You are not allowed in the back-room without me, and it’s you who won’t allow me in the back-room.  You didn’t always feel that way, if my memory is correct.”

 

“I don’t want you in the back-room.  You’ll end up making comparisons, and as some important poet once said ‘Comparisons are odious,’” Brian countered.

 

“Was this important poet in the back-room when he spouted that crap?” Justin laughed, “I don’t think you need to worry about me making any ‘odious comparisons.’  If you were there with me, I wouldn’t notice anybody else at all.”

 

“And I can remember when you would have gone to the back-room for the express purpose of comparisons,” Emmett told Brian.

 

“Shut up, Emmett, there are young people present.  Now where’s this party and what’s it for?” Brian returned to the subject.

 

“Joe and Ross are the hosts and it’s at their place.  They and two other couples have just returned from civilized Canada where they got officially and legally married,” Emmett told them with his usual over-the-top exuberance.

 

“Then shouldn’t they have had the party in Canada where they are officially and legally married?  They aren’t either officially or legally married  here in Pennsylvania.  They could have done the ‘wedding’ thing like our munchers did right here and they would have been just as officially and legally married in Pittsburgh.”

 

“Brian,” Emmett groused, “You have changed for the better in a lot of ways but you can still be a party pooper.

It’s important for us to celebrate every victory, and this was a victory. You wouldn’t even have been invited if we didn’t think this young man could keep you under control.”  

 

 “And I wouldn’t even consider going unless that same young man wanted to go,” Brian replied in kind.

 

“I don’t think you really want to go, Brian, and I hardly know Joe and Ross,” Justin responded, “So if it’s all right with you, Emmett, we will decline, but please give our best to all of the couples.  We’re proud of them.”

 

Brian looked at Justin.  It was all he could do to keep from grabbing him and dragging into the forbidden back- room, but Brian was not given to overly public displays of affection, at least not now he wasn’t – not any more. 

 

But Brian was also a little disturbed by what he saw.  He could usually read what was on Justin’s mind by looking at him, but he couldn’t just then.  Justin’s face was a blank to Brian.  And he wondered if that was a tear he saw in the corner of Justin’s eye.

 

Emmett accepted their regrets with not very much regret.  “Suit yourselves,” he told them, “I am not paid by the number of guests.”  Then he added more cheerfully, “See ya guys.”

 

Brian and Justin left soon after their meeting with Emmett and headed back to the loft.  Justin was quiet and Brian was concerned.  Justin’s silence was not necessarily a sign of any problem.  Justin could be quiet on occasion.  But Brian was concerned.

 

When they got to the loft, Brian lit the fireplace and sat down on the floor in the accustomed place.  “Come over here, Baby, and sit with me,” he called Justin.

 

“With the greatest of pleasure,” Justin replied, plopping himself down next to Brian and nestling up next to him.

Brian hoped that it was with the greatest of pleasure that he did that.

 

After a short period of silence, he pulled Justin up onto his lap.  Justin just smiled and sighed, but nothing was said even then.

 

It was another while before Brian broke the silence.  “Baby, I’ll do it if that’s what you want, ” Brian whispered in Justin’s ear.

 

“Do what?” wondered a slightly surprised Justin.

 

“I’ll take you to Canada.” Brian told him, “We can just go to Niagara Falls for a couple of days and have Emmett plan a party back here.”

 

Justin had been silent because he was so pleased to have Brian all to himself.  Now when he had something to say, he was speechless.  “Brian,” he choked out, “Are you proposing?”

 

“In a non-traditional, unconventional way, I guess you could say that,” Brian admitted.

 

“That’s the most romantic thing I have ever heard,” Justin told him, “You couldn’t have made me happier than I am now.  I love you, Brian.”

 

“Name the date,” Brian told him.

 

“Brian, I can’t believe what you just asked me, and it’s something I have wanted to hear since the first time I saw you.  I think you know that,” Justin answered, “But, if it won’t make you mad at me, I think I’ll say ‘No’ for right now.  But don’t ask too often.  I have a limited amount of will power and I do want to marry you.  Just not now.”

 

Now it was Brian’s turn to be speechless.  “Baby,” He responded when he got his voice back, “I remember when Mel and Linz were getting married, you practically proposed to me on the steps of George’s mansion.”

 

“If you had said ‘Yes’ then, we could have made it a double-wedding on the spot.” Justin remembered, “I wasn’t sure of you then and I thought that public vows would somehow help me hold on to you.  I don’t think I need that now, even with a piece of paper to go with them.  And we have made private vows.  I hope you remember that.  You said you wanted to be stuck with me for the rest of your life.”

 

“I hope I phrased it better than that,” Brian told him.

 

“Oh you did, of course, you have such a romantic way with words,” Justin said.  “You don’t really want to get married in Canada, Brian.  It wouldn’t count back here.  It wouldn’t do anything for us or give us anything we don’t have now.  Someday, we’ll be able to get married right here at home if we want to, and I will for sure.  We are making some progress with same-sex benefits and it won’t be long.  I want to wait till we can have just a simple formal exchange of vows right here.  I don’t want any big wedding shit like the girls had, but I want to have our friends with us.  Am I crazy?”

 

“You are the uncraziest kid in the world,” Brian said.

 

“Brian, Honey, Sweetheart,” Justin whispered to Brian, “I am the happiest person in the world right now all because of you.  But I am warning you.  The very next time you propose, the very next time, wherever and whenever, I am going to accept, so don’t just go around proposing willy-nilly.”

 

“OK, I wont if that’s the way you want it,” Brian told Justin , “But I do love you, and that’s for always.”

 

“I know,” Justin answered him.

 

It is unnecessary to describe the next several minutes but sometime later, Brian said to Justin: “Oh, by the way, we have same-sex benefits now at Vanguard and I have you registered as my partner so you are on my medical benefits and some other stuff too.”

 

“I’ll thank Cynthia when I see her,” Justin teased, “She thinks of everything.”

 

“I thought of it myself,” Brian maintained, “I thought of it all by myself.  She just thought of it first.”

 

There was some more stuff that does not need describing here, but before they finally turned out the fireplace and went to bed, Brian said to Justin.  “I’m not sure if I’ll know when to propose next. Why don’t you do the proposing when the right time comes?”

 

“Not a chance, Honey,” Justin responded.  “You know I’ll say ‘Yes.’ I couldn’t trust you not to turn me down.”

 

“Well how am I going to know when the right time is?” Brian complained, “I don’t want to foul things up.”

 

“Don’t worry, Brian,” Justin told him, “Cynthia will tell you.”


	30. Chapter 30 - Jambalaya

The first thing Brian noticed when he entered the loft was a messy kitchen in the middle of which Justin was industriously moving. 

“What the hell is going on, Sunshine, or don’t I want to know?” Brian wondered.

 

“It looks to me like I’m cooking,” Justin answered, flashing the smile that always made Brian suspect something

 

“What are you cooking, or maybe cooking up?” Brian asked, “And why? And why all the mess?”

 

“I always seem to make a mess when I’m cooking jambalaya, Sweetheart,” Justin kept smiling at Brian.  “Surely you remember the last time I rustled up my jambalaya.”

 

Brian had to smile back at him.  “I remember well enough but I thought I apologized for that night later.  I certainly suffered plenty because of it.  You’re not still mad about that, are you, and out for revenge?” he asked.

 

“Don’t be silly, Brian, “ Justin answered, “You said the jambalaya was ‘pretty good’ the last time.”

 

“If I recall correctly, what I said was ‘It’s not bad.’” Brian countered.

 

“Same thing,” Justin assured him.

 

“There’s something I need to know that I don’t necessarily want to know, isn’t there?” Brian surmised, “I thought we decided on a light dinner and a quiet evening here – just the two of us.”

 

“Well,” Justin told him, “I hope we are going to have the quiet evening later, but I invited an old friend to dinner.  I didn’t have time to ask you but I didn’t think you’d mind.”

 

“Anybody I know,” Brian wondered.

 

“Oh sure, you knew him before I did,” Justin told him.

 

“Does he have a name?” Brian gritted his teeth.

 

“He probably does, but I don’t know it,” Justin came back.

 

“Do I?” Brian asked.

 

“Probably not,” Justin stated, “But he was here the last time I cooked jambalaya, and you called him Hotlanta, but I don’t think that was his name.”

 

Brian sat down on a stool next to the kitchen.  “All right, Twink.  I want to know what’s going on and I want to know right now,” Brian demanded.

 

“It’s all very simple,” Justin began, sitting himself down on Brian’s lap,  “I met Mikey this afternoon at Woody’s to talk about Rage and this guy came up to us.  He recognized me and I recognized him.  Turns out he’s a traveling sales rep for some company and he has a business meeting at 8:30 tonight.  He said he remembered us from the last time and wondered how things turned out with us.  So I asked him to come to dinner.  Promised him jambalaya.  He said he remembered where it is, and he would be glad to come.  I wasn’t rude, Brian.  I invited Mikey and Ben too but they had another event for tonight.  I know the guy likes jambalaya, so that brings you up to date.”

 

“So he remembered how to get here.  That’s interesting.  Did he ask about me?” Brian quizzed Justin.

 

“He may have asked if you were still available,” Justin allowed.

 

“And if he did ask, what would you have said?” Brian went on.

 

“I would have said that I didn’t think so but he could come and see for himself,” Justin responded, “He’s due pretty soon, Honey, so go get ready.  I have everything just about prepared to serve.  The salad didn’t fall on the floor this time.”

 

“So it is revenge.  You have to brag about your conquest,” Brian muttered.

 

“Cut it out, Brian,” Justin told him, smiling broadly, “My feelings can be easily hurt.”

 

Brian just did as he was told.  There were things he could have said but he didn’t say them.

 

The guest arrived.  His name turned out to be Bill Drew.  He was a very pleasant fellow, and Brian and Justin both enjoyed his company.  He told them he was happy to see that they had worked out those differences which he had noted on his previous visit.  He congratulated Justin on the jambalaya as he left, but Brian noted that he added “and everything else too” as he shook Justin’s hand.  He promised to let them know next time he was coming through Pittsburgh, and they assured him he would always be welcome to stop by for jambalaya. 

 

The kitchen must not have been as untidy as Brian thought because Justin got it back in order in a very short time.  Brian lit the fireplace, sat down and waited for the kid.  Shortly thereafter, Justin settled in next to him, and slipped his head onto Brian’s shoulder.  Their quiet evening began with a period of silence.

 

“You’re not mad about my inviting Bill to eat with us, are you?” Justin asked, finally breaking the quiet.

 

“No,” Brian answered, “He was a nice guy, but if you’re planning to entertain all my former tricks at dinner…”

 

“Brian,” Justin interrupted.  “Don’t go there.  I asked this guy because he was nice to me last time, nicer than you were that night.  I don’t remember any others of your ‘companions’ who were all that nice to me.  Of course, I only met a very small percentage of them.”

 

“Well I just thought if that was your goal, it would be better if we rented out the Convention Center some night and had them all at once rather than just one at a time,” Brian mused, “That way we could get some time to ourselves.”

 

“I have to wonder,” Justin mused back, ”why you seem to get such a kick out of exasperating me, when I would never do anything like that to you.”

 

“I guess I’m just mean,” Brian admitted, smiling at his little twink.

 

“No you’re not, Bri, you’re not mean at all.” Justin maintained, “I love you Brian.  You know that.  And I wouldn’t fall in love with someone who was mean.  I’m not crazy.”

 

“No,” Brian responded, “Whatever else you are, you’re not crazy.”  Then he added: “Since this is our quiet evening together, can we change the subject?  We always have a lot to talk about but if you don’t want to talk, just sitting here will be OK with me.”

 

So they sat some and they talked some.  It was the kind of evening together that they both treasured and the excitement of dinner was forgotten.

 

Toward the end of the evening Brian was the one who returned to the subject when he said “Honey, if you can, just let me know a little earlier the next time we’re having jumbalaya., OK?”

 

“Justin pulled himself up onto Brian’s lap.  “We’re having jumbalaya tomorrow,” he told him.

 

“Tomorrow?” Brian groaned.

 

“Don’t worry, Sweetheart,” Justin assured him, “No guests tomorrow, just the two of us.  It’s always better on the second day.”


	31. Chapter 31 - Kings High

Brian was having breakfast at the diner with Mikey.  Justin was on a project for school  –  sketching some of Pittsburgh’s million bridges by dawn’s early light.  Brian didn’t mind coming to the diner any more even though he always had to explain if Justin wasn’t with him.  It wasn’t like they were joined at the hip, he thought, or maybe it was.  Nevertheless, he didn’t mind. 

Things were going just fine until Debbie came along and tacked a poster onto the wall.  Brian looked at it and his heart sank.  Michael saw Brian’s face change.  He looked at the poster and knew why.

 

Debbie came up to them with her usual flourish.  “The King of Babylon contest is coming up next week.” she announced, telling them what they had just read, “See the poster.  It’s a neat idea that they are honoring all the former Kings too.  Sunshine should be pleased.”

 

Brian did not respond.  He just stared straight ahead, but Debbie went off without noticing.

“You don’t much care for the idea, I see,” Mikey told Brian, after Debbie had gone.   “No, I don’t,” Brian responded, “Not even a little bit.  It’s something I would like to forget forever.”

 

“Tell him not to go,” Michael suggested, “He wouldn’t go if he knew you didn’t want him to.”

 

“I can’t do that, Mikey.  I don’t know how he remembers that night.  If he wants to go, I want him to go,” Brian said, “And if he wants to go, I’ll go with him, but I sure don’t want to go.  He got into that damn contest because of me.  I had these feelings about him and wanted to get rid of them.  I was in love with him then, Mikey.   I didn’t even know it; how pathetic is that?  I loved you, Mikey, so I thought I knew what love was, but this was different.  So I treated him really rotten.  I guess I thought if I got rid of him those feelings would go away.”

 

“Love comes in different versions, Brian,” Michael answered.  “I didn’t understand that back then either.”

Michael didn’t know what else to say but he didn’t have to say anything because Brian spoke next, after a few minutes consideration.  “This is twice in the last few weeks, I’ve had a stiff reminder of the old days,” Brian said, “It seems like they just won’t go away.”

 

“I bet the first one had something to do with jambalaya.  Me and Justin were sitting here one day and this guy came up and they started talking about some night last year at your place and jambalaya.  I couldn’t figure out what went on that time.” Mikey told Brian, “But the whole thing sounded weird.  Seems Justin made this jambalaya and this guy was there but you didn’t eat it until the next day.  Sounded too weird to me. Justin ended up asking him to have dinner with you at the loft.   He wanted Ben and me to come too but I made up some kind of excuse.  You guys seem to thrive on weird stuff but I just get confused.”

 

“I guess he told you then how shitty I was to him that night.  That was me at my worst; I can’t believe I was that miserable with him,” Brian said to Mikey.

 

“No, Brian,” Mikey responded, “He just told me that the jambalaya didn’t get eaten then.  He said you really saved his life the next day though – that it was the greatest thing anyone had ever done for him – and that you were really nice to him when you two ate the jambalaya the second night.  He said it was the best night of his life.”

 

Michael thought he detected a tear in Brian’s eyes.  He remembered seeing Brian cry only once in the time he had known him; that was on a prom night a few years back.  So Brian didn’t do much crying.  Michael was sure he hadn’t said anything to cause a tear to form in Brian’s eye, so he figured it must have been a whiff of onion.

 

Brian had a busy day and he was glad.  In between meetings, he had visions of Justin dancing his way to the Kingship of Babylon.  He hated those thoughts and he hated himself and he didn’t know what to do about the present situation.  It wasn’t like Brian Kinney to be perplexed but Brian Kinney was very perplexed.  It made for a long day.

 

Brian and Justin ate soup and sandwiches in the loft that evening.  They talked small talk during the meal but Brian was doing some big thinking, and wondering.

 

After they ate, Brian lit the fireplace.  “Fireplace, do your stuff,” he whispered, before Justin joined him.

They sat quietly for a while when they both got themselves seated on the floor facing the jumping fake flames.  This was becoming standard practice.   Brian ran his hand through Justin’s hair messing it up slightly, and Justin just smiled at him   It seemed like they didn’t need to talk, but sometimes they did

 

“I had breakfast at the diner with Mikey this morning,” Brian announced to Justin.

 

“Oh hell, Sweetheart,” Justin said as he reached over and kissed Brian on the cheek, “I’m so sorry.  You saw the poster, I guess.  I am such a twat.  I wanted to tell you before the posters went up.”

 

“You knew,” Brian replied incredulously, “And you didn’t tell me?”

 

“I’m sorry, Bri,” Justin repeated, “I was trying to figure out how to do it.  I was scared, Brian.”

 

“Scared?” Brian asked, “Scared of what? Scared of me?  Did you think I wouldn’t want you to go or that I’d refuse to go with you?”  Brian thought he felt Justin shiver under the arm he had around him.

 

“Scared that you would make me go, Brian, I don’t want to go.  I’m ashamed of that night.  I hate thinking about that night.” Justin told him, “I let you down   I should have had more confidence in you.  I was just being a brat, feeling neglected.”

 

“Baby, I was the bastard that night.  I practically forced you to enter that contest by the way I acted.  How did you let me down?  I’m the one who should be apologizing.” Brian blamed himself.

 

“But I knew that you were in love with me then and you didn’t,” Justin told him, “I should have just waited for you to figure it out.  I didn’t need to embarrass you and myself too.  It was really all my fault.”  Then he smiled tentatively and added, “So then, I guess I don’t have to go to that celebration at Babylon, do I?”

 

“Not unless you want to,” Brian allowed, trying to pull the blond kid even closer, “That is entirely your call.  I wasn’t too keen on it myself but if you decide to go, I’ll be with you, you can bet on that.  But please, Baby, you really do have to tell me when you know things I need to know.”

  
”Oh, Brian, I always do,” Justin insisted, “As soon as I figure out how.  How pathetic is that?”

 

Brian wrapped both arms around Justin and squeezed.  Brian didn’t think it was pathetic at all.     


	32. Chapter 32 - Ouch

Brian was sitting at the table when Justin walked into the loft.  He had a pear on a dish and was slicing off pieces and eating them. “You’re home early,” Justin said to him. “Yeah,” Brian answered, “I had a meeting out of the office and when it was over, I just came home instead of going back there. “I guess you had this big need to see me,” Justin joked.  “Why else would I come back here instead of going to the office?” Brian smiled at him. Brian’s knife slipped out of his hand and bounced on the floor a few feet away from him.  “Would you get my knife for me, Sunshine?” he asked Justin.  Justin wondered about that request since the knife was much closer to Brian than it was to him, but he was glad to comply.  He thought maybe Brian was up to something but all he did was take back the knife and slice another piece off the pear.  That set Justin to thinking.  Justin went to the bedroom, showered and changed his clothes, and came out to find Brian still seated at the table.  “Do you want to go out tonight, Honey?” he asked Brian.  “I don’t think so,” Brian replied, “I’ll just sit here and watch you prepare dinner.  Any old thing you want to make will be fine.” Now Justin was smart and he knew Brian.  Something was not right in this scene; he was sure of that but he wasn’t sure of what.  “Brian, Honey,” he asked, “Would you do me a great big favor?” “Of course, if I can.” Brian assured him, “What do you want?” “I want you to get out of that chair and walk out to the kitchen.” Justin told him.  “Why the hell do you want me to do that?” Brian wanted to know. “Because I think you are glued to that chair.” Justin informed him. “OK, Sherlock, you win.” Brian admitted, “I twisted my ankle coming out of the Frick Building and I’m not walking so well.  I tripped on a step and fell.” “Let me see it,” Justin ordered, moving toward Brian.  “Now don’t make a great big thing about a little sprain.  It will be fine tomorrow,” Brian protested. “Oh my God, Brian” Justin exclaimed after thoroughly examining Brian’s ankle, “That could be broken.  Look how it’s swollen.  Did you put ice on it?” “It’s just a sprain.  I’m a big man.  I can handle this,” Brian bragged.  “Well you’re acting like a child.  We’re going to get this x-rayed right away,” Justin demanded. “I don’t want to get it x-rayed,” Brian maintained,  “It will heal itself.  That’s what I told security at the Frick Building, and that’s what I’m telling you.” “The people at the Frick Building are not in love with you and taking care of you is not their business.” Justin insisted, “You’re lucky you have me around.  We are going to get that ankle x-rayed whether you want to or not.  And that’s that.” “I may as well have gone back to the office,” Brian grouched. “Brian Sweetie,” Justin smiled at Brian, “I am not hurt that you didn’t come back here from your meeting just to see me, like you said, but I am damned insulted that you were more afraid of Cynthia than you were of me.” “But I’m supposed to be the boss around here and I say no x-ray.  Brian Kinney does not go to the doctor.” Brian told Justin.   “You certainly are the boss around here,” Justin responded, “But even the United States Constitution calls for the Vice-President to take over for the President when he is incapacitated.  And Brian Kinney is going to get that ankle x-rayed.” “This ankle does not incapacitate me,” Brian stated.  Justin laughed as he told Brian “You may not be physically incapacitated, but I think I can make a case for mentally incapacitated.” “You can’t make me go,” Brian stood up for himself, “What are you going to do if I won’t go?” “I am going to nag at you for fifteen minutes,” Justin warned him, “And if that doesn’t work, I am going to call Mikey.  He will come rushing over here and whine at you while I am nagging.  If you don’t get the x-ray, I’m pretty sure you will wish you had.” “Do I have to?” Brian whimpered.  “Yes you do,” Justin answered.  So they went off to the emergency room.  Justin caught Dr. Marshall by phone still at the hospital and he promised to meet them and read the x-ray.  Justin knew Dr. Marshall would be on his side. Later that evening, Brian and Justin were sitting together watching the fake flames flickering in the fireplace.  They usually sat on the floor with their backs against the couch but tonight they sat on the couch in deference to Brian’s ankle brace and cane.  Brian insisted he could sit on the floor but Justin was afraid he wouldn’t be able to get back up “Well, Mr. Know-It-All” Brian crowed, “I told you it wasn’t broken and it wasn’t broken.   I was right.” “It had to be checked, Brian,” Justin maintained, “I’m very glad it wasn’t broken but Dr. Marshall wrapped it for you and told you how to take care of it so the trip was worth it.  And we know now for sure that it isn’t broken.  So we were both right.” “But I was the one who was really right,” Brian insisted. “Don’t push me, Brian,” Justin told him through a broad smile, “You can get away with a lot when we’re snuggled together in front of the fireplace and you’ve got your arm around me but there still might be a limit.You were right though.  I’ll admit you were right, but next time you get an ankle like that you are still going to get x-rayed.” “You never give up, do you?” Brian pretended to grumble at Justin. “Guess not,” Justin admitted, “But if I gave up, would we be sitting here together watching our fireplace or would you be at Babylon looking for a trick while I was I don’t know where doing I don’t know what?” “Well,” Brian concluded, “As long as you admit I was right about the ankle business, I guess it’s safe for me to tell you that you were right, really right, about something you said this afternoon.” Justin looked puzzled and asked Brian what he was talking about.  “When was I so right?” he asked.. “When you said I was lucky to have you around,” Brian told him. “I don’t remember saying that,” Justin replied. “Well, it’s a good thing one of us remembered.” Brian said as he ruffled Justin’s hair, “Because it’s true and I want you to know that I know it’s true.” 

Justin snuggled up closer to Brian and told him:  “But I was wrong just a minute ago.  There is no limit on what you can get away with.”


	33. Chapter 33 - Uncle Brian

Justin had breakfast on the table when Brian, sleepy-eyed, emerged from the bedroom. 

“The condemned man has arrived for his last meal,” he announced.

 

“Oh Brian, it’s not going to be that bad.” Justin suggested, “You might even enjoy yourself.”

 

“No,” Brian told him, “It’s going to be bad.  When you told me that there was something you wanted me to do today that I might not like, I was suspicious.  When you told me you wanted to tell me this morning instead of last night so I wouldn’t be thinking about it all night, I knew it was real trouble.  At least you told me I didn’t have to do it if I really didn’t want to, but somehow, Baby, I kinda think I’m gonna have to do it.”

 

“What I said was that it was something that at first you might think you didn’t want to do.  I wanted you to get a good night’s sleep and sometimes you tend to make mountains out of molehills,” Justin pointed out.

 

“Well, wasn’t  I up nearly all night, and I would say it was because of you,” Brian smiled at him, “And you showed no signs of wanting me to get any sleep at all.”

 

“I can’t see where that is germane to this subject,” Justin told him, smiling back at him.

 

“You are flirting with me, my sweet,” Brian responded, “ Which makes me think this could be worse even than I thought before.  I guess I will find out soon enough but the sooner the better.  I maybe couldn’t take it on a full stomach.”

 

 Justin walked over to the table and flopped down on Brian’s lap.  Brian sensed disaster.

 

“Your sister called yesterday.   You weren’t here.  She has a problem.  She asked me to talk to you about it, and I told her I would,” Justin started out 

 

 “How much?” Brian laughed, “That’s not as bad as I thought.”

 

“Money isn’t everything,” Justin told Brian.

 

“It is to Clare, as long as I have some and she wants it,” Brian remarked.

 

“It’s not money, Brian, let me finish,” Justin asked him, “Her older son, your nephew, was voted most valuable player in his baseball league.”

 

“Well that little shit is not very valuable to me,” Brian replied, “If the league thinks he’s valuable, they can have my share of him.  He acts like he has Clare’s genes on both sides.  Not that his old man was any great shakes either.  Smart enough to get the hell out though.”

 

“You are making this harder than it needs to be.” Justin pleaded, “ I have to remind you that Clare’s genes are also your genes, and that you turned out perfect as far as I’m concerned.”

 

“Well then,” Brian countered, “You’re responsible for how I turned out, so we should just send you over to help the little twit out.”

 

“No, Brian,” Justin stroked Brian’s hair, “We’re sending you.”

 

“I’m not a praying man, usually,” Brian allowed, “But I think I better learn.  You have my complete and undivided attention.”

 

“At last,” Justin said, “There is a banquet tonight.  It’s an all male affair and each kid is supposed to bring his father.  A lot of kids these days don’t have fathers at home so some of the boys are bringing their uncles or other relatives.  He especially asked Clare if you would go with him.  You haven’t seen him in a couple of years so he might be a lot different than he was.  He wants you to go with him.  You ought to give the kid a chance.”

 

Brian thought of a strategy himself. He threw both arms around Justin.  “I wanted to have a romantic dinner and an even more romantic evening with you tonight, Sunshine,” he told him, “Doesn’t that sound better than an athletic dinner with the little brat?”

 

“Yes, it does,” Justin replied, “I’d love that for tomorrow.  It’s just not possible tonight.”  
  
”Why not?” Brian wondered.

 

“Because I told Clare that if you wouldn’t go, I would take your place.  That’s not a good alternative though.  I wouldn’t be a very good substitute for you, but that kid needs somebody to go with him,” Justin insisted.

 

“Then I have to go,” Brian laughed, “If you go the little shit will go around introducing you as his fag-uncle’s boyfriend, and you are too nice to choke him to death.  He’ll know he can’t get away with any crap with me.”

 

“You’re right of course, Brian,” Justin told him, “I’m not tough enough for this job.”  So Justin provided Brian with all the details and Brian left the loft, thinking that maybe Justin was “tough enough” for any job, and wondering what hit him.

 

Brian was half-way to work before he realized that he had not eaten, but he knew that having Justin was worth all the inconvenience it caused.  Brian smiled.  He wanted to go to the banquet with his nephew if Justin wanted him to.

 

Justin cleared the table and put the dishes in the dishwasher before he also realized he was still fasting.  Living with Brian was sometimes tough, but it was so worth it.

 

Both of them spent at least part of the day wondering how the evening would turn out.

 

Justin got home about six.  He figured Brian wouldn’t be home before nine.  He tried to read; then he tried to draw; then he gave up, lit the fireplace and sat gazing at the darting fire.  That calmed him down.  He fell asleep and wakened when he heard the door close.  Brian was back.

 

Brian didn’t say anything.  He went directly to the bedroom and changed.  Justin was a bit nervous as Brian came back out and sat down next to him.  Justin felt better when Brian put his arm around him and guided his head down onto Brian’s shoulder.  They just sat there for a few minutes before Brian finally spoke.

 

“I liked him, Sunshine.  He is a really nice kid,” Brian said, “What a difference a couple of years have made in him.  And he has a tough life dealing with Clare.  He doesn’t have anybody.  I know what it’s like.  I lived it myself.”

 

“You were just about his age when you found Mikey and Debbie and Vic, weren’t you, Brian?” Justin reminded him.

 

“Yeah,” Brian remembered, “And they saved my life.  They saved me until I found you or you found me or whatever.  They kept me alive until you came along to make me happy.”

 

“So you told him he could count on you when he needed somebody,” Justin figured.

 

“Yeah, I did, and we’re taking him and his brother to the Pirate game Saturday if that’s OK with you.  But how did you know that, mind reading again?” Brian wondered.

 

“No mind reading needed, Bri, I just know you.”  Justin explained.

 

“I wish I did.” Brian smiled.  “You’re getting there,” Justin laughed at him, “In a few years you’ll know as much about yourself as I do.”

 

“That scares me,” Brian said to him.  “I’ll be here to help you cope, Honey, I’ll always be here,” Justin told him.

 

A little while later, Brian nudged Justin and said: “He told me something else that I didn’t mention, Baby, guess what,” Brian said.

 

“Can’t guess,” Justin admitted.

 

“He thinks he might be gay,” Brian said.

 

“So you’ll get to make him the best homosexual he can be,” Justin teased, “And you can avoid all the mistakes you made with me.”

 

“Actually, I’m very happy with how you turned out.”  Brian countered  “But we’ll need you to make him the best person he can be, like you did with me, if you’ll take on that job.”

 

“With pleasure, and then I can avoid all the mistakes I made with you.” Justin retorted.

 

“Sorry if you’re not satisfied with the work you’ve done with me but I was a pretty tough guy to change.  You did pretty well considering what you had to start with.  Now don’t get mad at me, Baby,” Brian told Justin,  “But it could be that I did a better job with you than you did with me, granting that you had the much harder job to start with.”  

 

“Oh, don’t get me wrong, Bri, I’m very satisfied with how you turned out, but my goal is to get you to love yourself as much as I love you and that is probably going to be impossible.  That’s my own fault though, but I can’t help it that I love you so much,” Justin admitted, “But I don’t intend to give up.  My work is not done yet.”

 

“That’s what I was afraid of,” Brian told Justin as he pulled him closer, and a little later he said  “Honey, is it too late for that romantic evening I mentioned this morning?”

 

“I don’t think so,” Justin told him, “Isn’t that what we’re having now?”


	34. Chapter 34 - Not Again

Brian Kinney and Justin Taylor were in love.  Nobody could deny that, and nobody wanted to.  Things were perfect for them most of the time but there were occasions when a stray word here or there led to misunderstandings.  Mostly Brian turned out to be the peacemaker on these rare occasions. 

Labor Day was approaching.  It had been a custom for Melanie and Lindsay to host a cookout for the gang at home on Labor Day, but they had changed their plans for this year.  Since Gus had loved the fireworks at Point State Park on Independence Day, Mel and Linz had decided to repeat that event and hold their party there at the park since another fireworks display was scheduled.  

 

The problem was that Brian and Michael had gotten carried away on the Fourth of  July, and engaged in some extra-curricular activities that later they were not proud of.  Justin and Ben had been very tolerant of the miscreants, who had been harder on themselves than anybody else had been.  They were still embarrassed by their behavior, and the upcoming celebration would serve as a reminder.

 

Mel and Lindsey had issued verbal invitations to Mikey and Brian at the diner.  Debbie cautioned the boys about their prior behavior, and warned them against the possibility of a repeat performance.

 

Justin had not been present for the invitation and Brian was telling him about it over dinner in the loft when a stray word led to a misunderstanding.

 

“I didn’t think you’d let me go,” Brian was saying to Justin.

 

“Now just what does that mean?” Justin asked him, “ I don’t decide for you where you go or when or anything remotely like that.  I hope you didn’t tell Lindsey that you thought I wouldn’t let you go.”

 

“I did,” Brian admitted, “And she took it just like I said it.  She wasn’t a bit surprised.  She knows.  They all know.  And the truth of it is, Sunshine, I’m not complaining.”

 

“Well I am, Brian” Justin declared, “We share things.  Sometimes we do what I want and sometimes we do what you want but mostly we do what we both want.  I don’t want people to think I can boss you around.  I don’t want to boss you around.  I don’t boss you around.  Brian, I’m mad at you and it’s all your fault.”

 

“Yes, sir,” Brian responded, “Whatever you say.”

 

Justin gritted his teeth just a little.  “No, I am not going to get mad at you.  I am not going to give you the pleasure of my getting mad at you.  But I think we should go.  We have to go.  We can’t have people thinking that I would keep you from going – that I could keep you from going.  Maybe I will get mad at you after all.”

 

“Honey,” Brian reasoned, “I don’t care if we go or not.  If you want to go, we’ll go.  If you don’t want to go, we’ll stay home.”

 

“Now you’re patronizing me, Brian,” Justin complained, “You can’t just go because I want you to go.  You have to go because you want to go.  And you can’t want to go because I want you to go.  You have to go because you really want to go.”

 

“I guess you know what you’re saying,” Brian laughed, “I’m not sure.  Just let me know in time if we are going or not.”

 

“Maybe one of us should go and one of us shouldn’t,” Justin suggested, “That way everybody will know that we make our decisions separately and that neither one of us bosses the other one around.”

 

“We could do that if that’s what you want, Baby,” Brian agreed, “But I wouldn’t enjoy myself if I were there and you were here, or vice-versa.  I like being with you.”

 

“I want to be with you too, Bri.  Shit, I want to be with you now and I’m mad at you” Justin said, “Get out of my, er, our kitchen and I’ll clean up, and I don’t want any help.”

 

Brian wasn’t completely upset about being thrown out of the kitchen, but he wondered what he should do next.  He decided to light the fireplace.  When the fake flames were flying just right, he positioned himself in his usual spot to await developments.

 

When Justin entered the room, he smiled, then scowled, and informed Brian, “That is not going to work, Honey.”

 

When Justin sat down next to Brian, Brian thought maybe it was going to work.  He put his arm around Justin.  “OK, Brian,” Justin announced, “You can put your arm around me if you want to, but I am not going to lay my head on your shoulder, and that’s that.”

 

“Baby,” Brian cajoled, “We are going to be together for fifty years or so.  Aren’t you ever going to put your head on my shoulder again?”

 

“Well,” Justin said after a moment’s thought, “Maybe in about ten years.”

 

It was about ten minutes later that Justin’s head plopped onto Brian’s shoulder.  “I love you,  Bri,” Justin said, “I’m sorry I get upset sometimes.  I don’t boss you around, do I?  If I ever try to do that, just tell me.  I don’t want to be such a pain.  I can’t stay mad at you.   I guess though if I really do boss you around, and you don’t mind, I’ll just have to learn to live with it.”

 

“You’re perfect, Baby.  I know you’ll adjust.  I don’t want you to change at all.” Brian answered, “I was not complaining about you to Lindsey.  Believe me, I trust your judgment more than mine.  I wouldn’t want to embarrass you like I did last time at the park, and I wouldn’t.”

 

“I trust you too, Brian.  You know that.  I told you on the Fourth I wasn’t mad at you and I wasn’t,” Justin assured him.  “I always trust you.”

 

“Well then, do you want to go to the park on Labor Day?  I promise you that I’ll be the one to hold Gus for the fireworks this time,” Brian asked Justin.

 

“I would like to go, Brian,” Justin replied, “We don’t see the whole gang together as much as I’d like – as much as we used to.”

 

“That’s decided then.  We both want to go.  I’m glad of that.” Brian said sounding relieved.

 

There’s just one other thing I want you to know, Brian.” Justin told him while running his hand through Brian’s hair, “You know the Symphony will be playing again too.  It’s their new season.  Ethan will be with them this time.  It will be his first performance with them.  Is that OK with you?”

 

“I’m not exactly in charge of the Symphony, Honey,” Brian responded, “So it doesn’t really make much difference what I think, does it?”

 

“You know what I mean, Brian,” Justin groaned.

 

“Ask him if he would have time to eat with us before they play. I wouldn’t mind having him and he can get to know the gang better,” Brian responded.

 

“Brian, I don’t deserve you,” Justin cooed.

 

“That can be taken two ways,” Brian was going to say before Justin kissed his mouth shut.

 

That was usually the way Brian-Justin disputes went.  The arguments were only prelude to the making-up.  They did go to the celebration, and enjoyed themselves.  Brian and Michael behaved exemplarily.  Brian held Gus during the fireworks.  Ethan ate with them and seemed to get along well with everybody.

 

On the way home, Brian smiled at Justin and asked, “Well, were you satisfied how things went tonight, Honey?”

 

“Things were just great, Brian,” Justin grinned, “So you can go again next year.”

 

“Only if I want to,” Brian laughed.


	35. Chapter 35 - Enough

“I just told Michael that I would help him out with something he wants to do, Bri,” Justin was informing Brian, “And I’ll need some help from you so I’m telling you right away.”  Justin had only then returned from a working session on _Rage_ at Mikey’s comic book emporium. 

“I’m brave,” Brian joked, “So that doesn’t scare me in the least.  (Brian may have been bending the truth a little when he said that).  Should I get off this treadmill and sit down or is this something I can survive standing up?”

 

“Mikey wants to put on a surprise party for Debby for her fiftieth birthday,” Justin told him, “And sarcasm will not get you anywhere, Sweetheart, and certainly not off the hook on this.”

 

“And when is he planning to hold it, Sunshine – three years ago?” Brian laughed, “Poor Mikey is usually behind the times but this is a new record even for him.”

 

“Honey, why do you always want to make things more difficult than they need to be?” Justin asked, “You know you’ll help and you really do want to help.  I know you want to help and you know I know.  So why can’t you just ask what we need you to do instead of making all this fuss?”

 

Brian was still laughing.  “If you came in here with one of your usual announcements and I said that I would be glad do whatever you wanted me to do, without any complaining,” Brian answered, “What would you do then?”

 

“Shit, Brian,” Justin laughed too, “You’re always right.  If you did that I’d call Dr. Marshall and make an appointment for you right away.  You’re saving me a lot of worry by being yourself so consistently.”

 

“And do I get any credit for being so thoughtful of you?” Brian asked.

 

“My undying gratitude,” Justin told him, “But you always have that anyhow.”

 

Brian stepped off the treadmill and threw both arms around Justin.  “What do you want me to do?” he asked.

 

Justin seemed distracted.  “You mean about the party, right?” Justin asked him back.

 

Brian squeezed Justin even tighter against himself.  “You can be just as difficult, Baby, as you claim I am. What else would I be talking about?” he responded.  “Yeah, about the party first.  Then we can move on to whatever else is on your mind.”

 

“We want to hold it at Gino’s,” Justin got back on track, ”In the little private room he has downstairs. That room will hold forty people and we expect to have just about that many coming.”

 

“You got a date picked?” Brian wanted to know, “We’ll have to make sure the room’s available.”

 

“Of course we have a date picked, Brian,” Justin told him, “And a few alternates just in case.  We have some menu ideas too, but maybe you and I can stop up there some time and discuss them with Gino.”

 

“Sounds good to me,” Brian said, “See, I’m not so hard to deal with after all, am I?”

 

“You’re never hard to deal with, Honey,” Justin replied flashing his sunshine smile, “But there’s no way I want you to suspect that, so keep it a secret.”  He put his arms around Brian’s neck and kissed him.

 

It was about an hour or maybe a little bit more before the discussion came back to Debby’s party.  

 

There were some things Brian wanted to clear up. “Why did Mikey ask you to help him with the party?  Why not Ben, or even me?” Brian asked, “And isn’t Emmett the party planning expert?”

 

“Mikey trusts me.  I am not about to hazard a guess about why not Emmett, but he told me Ben would be no more help than you would,” Justin answered.  “Remember the thirtieth birthday party you put on for Michael.  And then there was your ‘No Birthday Celebration’ period which was how I got to know Ethan.”

 

“See how well that worked out,” Brian pointed out, “Now Ethan is our good friend.”

 

“Yeah,” Justin agreed wistfully, “It worked out well but not all that easily.”

 

“Justin Baby,” Brian wondered, “Vic and Debby have a sister.  They don’t get along and most of the time Debby won’t even admit she has a sister.  Are you guys going to invite her and her family?  I know how you like to get people back together, and I know you’re good at it, but if you and Mikey are thinking about doing that, I want to try to talk you both out of it.”

 

“No,” Justin replied, “Mikey said that wouldn’t be a good idea.  She won’t be invited.”

 

“And you guys do know that Debby is a few years past fifty?” Brian finished up his interrogation.

 

“Yeah,” Justin told him, “But we decided fifty was enough.”

 

“I hope you’ll remember that when I get to, er,  uh,  thirty.  Thirty sounds good to me.” Brian concluded.

 

“Thirty’s going to sound even better to you as the years go by,” Justin laughed, “And to think that in my young lifetime, I can remember when you didn’t think thirty sounded good at all.”

 

The party discussion kept getting interrupted by other activities so it was maybe three hours later that the next word on the subject of the party was spoken.  By this time the fireplace was lit and the boys were on the floor, cuddled together, backs against the couch watching fake flames flit here and there. 

 

“The date you picked for Debby’s party was OK with Gino so he’s saving the room for you,” Brian told his blond twink, “He even said he would decorate the room any way you wanted, unless you decided to decorate it yourself.”

 

“No, it will be great to have Gino handle the decoration,” Justin said, “Otherwise we would have to consult Emmett, and we don’t want him to take over the whole business.  Did you tell Gino we want to come up to discuss the menu with him?”

 

“Yeah,” Brian informed him, “But he said if you were coming we should make it after Monday.  That’s when his next shipment from Italy comes in.  He said he could call them and increase the order.  Otherwise he might run out of something.”

 

“Brian, that old story about my eating so much is getting tired,” Justin smiled at Brian, “I don’t eat any more than anybody else.”

 

“Actually, Sweetheart, you do eat more than anybody else,” Brian disagreed, “What you don’t do is eat more than everybody else.  But you should really quit when you’ve had enough.”

 

Justin was laughing now and Brian wondered why.  “Do you remember the morning after I first met you, Brian?  I think your exact words to Mikey were ‘You can never get enough.’  All of a sudden have you changed your mind?”

 

“No, Sweetheart.  I thought that then, I guess,” Brian remembered, “And I guess I still think that – about some things – like you for instance.”

 

“I’ll go along with you on that then,” Justin told him, reaching over to kiss him and run his hand through Brian’s hair.  “Our new rule can be ‘Enough is never enough.’”

 

There followed yet another interruption in the discussion which neither Brian or Justin regretted, the party plans having moved along so well.

 

Finally, Brian said to Justin, “Honey, can we make one exception to our new rule?  All good rules ought to have an exception.”  

 

“What kind of exception?” Justin was puzzled and wanted to know, “I think rules should be rules.”

 

“Couldn’t thirty be enough?” Brian asked.


	36. Chapter 36 - Deja Vu

The fireplace was already lit and the guys were in their usual positions facing the fake flames.  Justin looked agitated and Brian had his head back against the couch.  He had a smile on his face. 

“This is serious, Brian,” Justin was saying, “And you have a tendency sometimes to treat serious matters as funny.”

 

“And you, my little twink, have a tendency to treat funny things as serious a lot of times,” Brian responded.

 

“Brian, why are you making fun of me when I need your help?” Justin pleaded with him.

 

“I’m sorry, Honey,” Brian consoled him, “But don’t you see anything at all funny in this whole business?  This is not a situation where I can pretend to be an expert.”

 

“That’s probably true,” Justin admitted with a bit of a smile forming on his face, “But you’re all I have, and we do learn from our failures as well as our successes.”

 

“OK,” Brian gave in, “Give me all the details.”

 

“His name is Malcolm and he’s just a kid – probably eighteen, or maybe even seventeen,” Justin began his story, “He is cute and a pretty good artist.  I helped him when he came to the Institute, and now he’s developed a crush on me.  Everyplace I go, he’s there – always by accident or coincidence, of course.  Brian, I’m sure I saw him down the street when I got home last night.  He’s stalking me.  What am I going to do?  Even if I didn’t have you, I wouldn’t want some kid who doesn’t know anything.”

 

“Of course you wouldn’t,” Brian responded with a laugh that reflected just a trace of irony, “Who would? Well I had the same kind of stalking experience once and nothing I tried worked so I’m not sure I can help.  Do you think this kid has Daphne as an advisor?”

 

“Don’t be funny, Brian, this is entirely different,” Justin complained, “You were free when I met you.  You didn’t have anybody special.  I’m in a committed relationship that I want to last forever.  I’ve told him that and it doesn’t seem to matter to him at all.”

 

“You didn’t know I was free the night you picked me up on the street in front of Babylon,” Brian countered.

 

“We’re getting off the subject, Brian,” Justin replied, “But it was you who picked me up, and you wouldn’t have done that if you had somebody special.”  Then Justin had to laugh as he revised his statement, “I didn’t know you then so I figured you wouldn’t be picking someone up on the street if you had somebody special.    Maybe I would have thought differently if I had known you better.”

 

“Would you have still stalked me if you had found out later that I did have somebody, or would you have backed off and let us be?” Brian wondered.

 

“Gee, Brian,” Justin answered, “That’s a tough question.  I was really in love with you after that first night.  I don’t know if I could have given you up even if you had somebody.  I just don’t know.  I might have still had to try.  But all this talk isn’t helping me with my problem.”

 

“Maybe it is,” Brian told him, “Maybe it’s helping you to understand Malcolm.  What if he really loves you, and can’t back off just because I am in the picture?  Maybe he’s in the situation you might have been in, and you’re not sure what you would have done.”

 

“Are you trying to make me feel sorry for him?” Justin questioned Brian, “You know it’s going to make things harder for me if I feel sorry for him.”

 

“I’m just pointing out some similarities,” Brian said, “Maybe they will help you see the situation more clearly.”

 

“There is one big difference between the two situations that you’re leaving out, Brian,” Justin told him, “You loved me back. You didn’t know it then but you did   From that first night you knew I was special.  If you hadn’t loved me back, I could never have caught you.  I don’t love Malcolm back.  I never will.  How do I get him to figure that out?”

 

“Eventually he’ll figure it out for himself,” Brian assured Justin, “But you need to try to let him down as easily as possible and I don’t know the best way to do that.”

 

Brian thought a little while before he suggested, “What if you invite him here to dinner some night.  He can see us together and then he’ll probably realize he doesn’t have a chance.”

 

“I don’t think so.” Justin disagreed, “If he wants me as bad as I wanted you, I don’t think it would help.  It might just encourage him.  And then there’s you.  You have this thing for young guys, and I am rapidly aging.  He may decide to stalk you and then we don’t know what would happen.  You aren’t as good with stalkers as I am.  Look what happened with the last one.”

 

“Then how come you want my advice?” Brian wondered.

 

“Daphne’s out of town and Michael’s phone didn’t answer,” Justin informed him with a laugh.

 

“Now who’s treating serious matters as funny,” Brian wanted to know.

 

There followed a period of silence where the joy of being together overcame whatever else they had on their agenda.  But they always eventually got back to the subject at hand.

 

“Wanna know something funny, Brian?” Justin asked.

 

“Sure,” Brian responded, “Anything to lighten things up.”

 

“Malcolm’s mother doesn’t mind his being gay all that much,” Justin said, “But she thinks I’m too old for him.”

 

“That’s your opportunity,” Brian told him, “Make an issue of your age.  You can borrow the cane I had when I sprained my ankle, and we can dye your hair white instead of blond.”

 

“First you don’t help me,” Justin complained half-heartedly, “And then you imply I’m not a natural blond.  I’m beginning to wonder why I ever stalked you at all.  You know, Brian, you did kind of step in when I was getting mixed up with Ethan.”

 

“That’s because you were stalking Ethan,” Brian stated, “It wasn’t Ethan stalking you like Malcolm is.  You thought you were falling for Ethan.  I knew better.  I knew it was me that you really wanted.”

 

“Now you’re even stealing my lines, Honey,” Justin admonished him, “But you’re right.  I didn’t want Ethan.  It was just my immaturity taking over.  Fortunately I’ve completely outgrown my immaturity.”

 

“Indeed you have,” Brian replied with a voice reflecting maybe just the least bit of doubt.

 

There followed another brief period of silence with the two of them just enjoying their togetherness.

 

It was Justin who broke that silence.  “I know what I’m going to do about Malcolm next, Sweetheart.  This little chat has made my next move clear to me.”

 

“I’m glad of that,” Brian answered him, “I’m glad I was able to be of assistance.  That’s one of the reasons I’m here.  What are you going to do next?”

 

Justin smiled at Brian and told him, “I’m going to wait for Daphne to get home, or for Michael’s phone to pick up.”


	37. Chapter 37 Without a Song

“I hope you won’t miss me too much,” Justin said to Brian over breakfast in the loft, “This is something that I have to do.” 

“I know that,” Brian responded with a smile, “Meddling is a character trait of yours and I know it’s something you have to do.  Actually sometimes you’re pretty good at it.”

 

“That’s not fair, Brian,” Justin countered, “I have to help my friends out when I can.  I said you could come along and you didn’t want to.”

 

“It’s true you asked me if I wanted to come but I don’t think you really expected me to say ‘Yes,’” Brian told him, “You think you can do this better by yourself, don’t you?”

 

Justin returned the smile.  “Yeah,” he told Brian, “You’re good at a lot of things and you’ve helped me through a lot of tough times, but this is something I think I can do better myself.  Thanks for understanding.”

 

“You know it’s only dinner tonight.  I can get along without you for that long,” Brian stated, “Especially when I’m going to have dinner with Ted and Emmett at the diner.  Mikey and Ben too if they can make it.  We won’t talk about you.”

 

“It’s OK to talk about me if you feel you have to,” Justin joked, “Just don’t be too complimentary and bore the other guys out of their wits.”

 

Brian gave up.  Justin was on a roll.  He hoped that what Justin wanted to do that evening would be successful too.  Justin was having dinner with Ethan at a little restaurant near the campus.  Ethan had told Justin the previous day that his boy-friend Tom had decided not to join Ethan in Pittsburgh.  Justin thought Ethan was taking that information pretty hard, and wanted to provide some comfort for his friend.  Brian was pleased that his relationship with Justin was now such that he could send his little twink off to dinner with Ethan in good spirits and without any qualms at all.  They had come a long way.

 

“When will you be home?” Brian asked Justin as he was leaving the loft for the office.

 

“No earlier than nine, and no later probably than ten,” Justin answered, “I want to finish a sketch for school tomorrow, and I want to save some time for you.  I don’t want you to feel deprived.”

 

“I won’t feel deprived,” Brian laughed, “And I’ll have the trick out of here by nine.”

 

“Don’t forget to turn off the surveillance camera,” Justin cautioned Brian.  They were both smiling.

 

“And you better watch out for Malcolm the Stalker,” Brian called back as the door closed.

 

Debby and the guys – Michael and Ben were able to come – offered some good-natured ribbing to Brian during their dinner at the diner.  “So he’s back with Ethan,” Debby laughed, “Who would have thought the great Kinney would lose his man to the fiddler?”

 

“Mom,” Mikey told her, “Quit picking on Brian.  Us older guys have enough trouble keeping our young guys in tow without getting a lot of criticism.  So what if Justin was Brian’s very last chance.”

 

“Can’t keep young guys in tow?” Ben wondered, “So that’s why you picked an older guy like me.”

 

It was a lot like old times that night at the diner – the gang together, giving each other a hard time.  But it was also different, Brian thought.  He was different.  And he liked the change.

 

It was almost nine when Brian got back to the loft.  He lit the fireplace and sat down in front of it.  He hoped Justin would be home soon.  Darn it, he was feeling deprived.

 

Unfortunately, it was a few minutes after ten before the door to the loft opened to admit Justin.  Brian looked up at him.  “You’re late,” he told the kid.

 

“More rules?” Justin pretended to pout, “Wait till you hear what happened.  What a night.”  He plopped himself down, nestled himself up next to Brian and put his head onto Brian’s shoulder.  Brian felt very able to excuse Justin’s tardiness.  He put his arm around the kid, and they just sat there for a few minutes.

 

Brian was happy that Justin seemed so comfortable, but he also was curious to know about Justin’s mission, and Justin just sat there so contentedly that Brian was afraid he would never bring up the subject.  He figured that there had been some measure of success for Justin to be so calm.

 

“Well,” Brian finally asked, “Are you going to tell me what happened or not?”

 

“Not until you tell me how much you missed me,” Justin declared.

 

“Then I guess I’ll never know,” Brian replied.

 

“We got to the restaurant and ordered,” Justin began, “Just a little small talk.  I was just about to bring up the subject of Tom when Ethan started looking right past me.  ‘There is a beautiful kid in the booth behind you,’ Ethan told me, ‘Look back when you get a chance.’”

 

Brian was smiling but Justin warned him, “Don’t interrupt my story.  I know what you’re thinking and you’re right.  It was Malcolm stalking me.”

 

“I know the feeling,” Brian interjected.

 

“Shut up, Brian,” Justin responded, “I had to think fast.  Guess what I did.”

 

“You don’t really want me to guess,” Brian ventured.

 

“I waved at Malcolm, and asked him to come over to our table and eat with us,” Justin related, “I introduced Malcolm to Ethan.  Brian, I think it was love at first sight.  They just looked at each other the whole meal.”

 

“Weren’t you just a little upset about how fickle Malcolm was being?” Brian asked, “After all, it was you he was stalking.”

 

“Just about as upset as you would have been,” Justin replied, “If I had switched to Michael when I was stalking you, Bri.  Anyhow, Ethan invited us back to his place afterwards for some ice cream.  Malcolm said he just loved violin music and Ethan wanted to play for him.”

 

“That’s original,” Brian allowed, before Justin continued.

 

“I told Ethan to play the _Meditation_ from _Thais_ for Malcolm,” Justin went on,  “And that did it.  Malcolm told Ethan that that piece should be ‘their’ song forever.  I left then but Malcolm stayed.  Brian, I killed two birds with one stone.  I got Malcolm off my trail, and I left Ethan happy.  I never even had to say a word about Tom.”

 

“Wasn’t that _Meditation_ thing your song with Ethan too?” Brian asked.

 

“Sort of,” Justin admitted, “But Ethan and I don’t need a song now.  We’re just friends.  Well, what do you think, Honey.  How was that for fixing things quick?”

 

“I think young people are too quick to pair off, and too changeable when they do.  Malcolm’s just a little kid and Ethan’s not much older,” Brian opined, “I hope this all works out.  You did a great job, Sweetheart.  I’m proud of you.”

 

Brian noted a quasi-hurt look on Justin’s face so he quickly added, “Present company excepted, Sunshine.  I’m glad for your forty-year old mind in that twenty-year old body.  You’re the exception, being so mature for your age.  And you really did a great job tonight.  All’s well that ends well.”

 

The hurt look on Justin’s face went as quickly as it came but it was replaced with another look that Brian knew and dreaded.  There was more.  Brian was right.

 

“Brian, Honey,” Justin told him, “We don’t have a song.”


	38. Chapter 38 - Never Young

“It’s not my first time at the Symphony,” Brian explained to Justin, “I actually like classical music and I have been going for several years now.  So that’s one thing about me that you can’t take credit for.” 

“I thought you just liked jazz,” Justin answered, “You’re always listening to jazz on WDUQ and I don’t think I ever heard you listening to classical on WQED.  I’m glad you’re so well-rounded  though.  And I do appreciate you going with me, knowing that an old boy-friend of mine will be up there on stage.”

 

Brian stifled a smile but it was too late.  Justin was quick. “Oh, shit, Brian,” Justin asked, “How many of the Symphony players have you had?  I can’t believe I didn’t figure that out before.”

 

“Probably fewer than ten,” Brian estimated, “It’s hard to remember.  I’m not sure how many of them are still with the Symphony.  I know one has moved on to Los Angeles.  He played the viola.  Never had Ethan though, so he’s still all yours.”

 

“He’s not mine at all, Honey,” Justin replied, “He’s Malcolm’s, so you couldn’t have him even if you wanted.”  Then Justin laughed and continued,  “And get that look off your face.  Ethan’s taken and so are you, so just forget what you’re thinking.”

 

“I don’t think I’ll ever enjoy the Symphony as much as I used to,” Brian allowed,

 

“Try listening to the music,” Justin suggested.

 

They were busy getting themselves ready to head for Heinz Hall so the conversation temporarily broke off until Justin restarted it while Brian was tying the twink’s tie for him.

 

“You will get to meet Malcolm finally,” Justin reminded Brian.  “Ethan got us three really good seats.  Two Beethovens tonight and a short modern piece whose composer will be there.”

 

“Beethoven I know and like,” Brian responded, “The modern composer I don’t know and won’t like.  Nobody will but the music critics.  Malcolm, I’ll reserve judgment about, but if he prefers Ethan to you, I do have questions about his judgment.”

 

“Well just don’t pick on him,” Justin cautioned.

 

“You know I won’t,” Brian said, “Even if I want to, I won’t.  I’d have to face you when we get back here and it wouldn’t be worth it.”

 

“Cut it out, Brian” Justin warned him, “We better get going.”

 

Brian and Justin arrived at Heinz Hall in plenty of time to take their seats and peruse the program.  The third seat was unfilled.

 

“I wonder where Malcolm is?” Justin said..

 

“Maybe he really does know classical music, and won’t show up till after the modern piece.” Brian suggested, 

“ Probably half the audience won’t show up till after the modern piece.”

 

The concert seemed to be a sell-out but the seat reserved for Malcolm remained empty, not only through the modern work, but also through the Emperor Concerto and the Eroica  Symphony.

 

When the program was over, Brian and Justin made their way backstage as had been arranged with Ethan.  “Hi, Chet,” Brian said to a French horn and “What’s up, Norm” to a cello.

 

“How many of these guys do you know?” Justin asked him.

 

“Probably fewer than ten,” Brian smirked.

 

They found Ethan but Brian stayed back to let Justin and Ethan talk privately.  Brian was surveying the scurrying players and Justin was watching Brian.  So Brian did not get to hear what Ethan said, but he was sure that he would before the night was over.  And he was right.

 

When they got back to the loft, they changed into more comfortable clothes, and when Brian reentered the living area, he saw that the fireplace was already lit and Justin was in position waiting for him.  Brian joined Justin on the floor and waited for Justin to start the discussion, and eventually he did.

 

“Wasn’t that piano player great, Bri?” he asked Brian.

 

“Yeah, he was,” Brian answered.

 

“Did you ever play a musical instrument, Honey?” Justin asked.

 

“I had five piano lessons when I was in third grade,” Brian told him.  “I didn’t quit, though.  The teacher threw me out.  She said I had no ear, and I told her I had two ears.  I didn’t get as far on the piano as Chopsticks.”

 

“She should not have given up on you,” Justin said, “Too many people gave up on you and they were all wrong.”

 

“Not you,” Brian smiled, “If you had been my piano teacher, I might have been the one playing the Emperor tonight.’

 

“Yes, indeed,” Justin agreed laughingly, “And I would have also taught you the cowbells and the police siren so you could have played the modern piece too.”

 

“And how come you don’t play anything, Sunshine?” Brian wanted to know.

 

“Actually I can play the piano a little bit.  I know both parts of Chopsticks.” Justin responded, “I had to give it up because I didn’t have enough time for music and art both, and I liked art better.  Think we should get a piano?”

 

“I’d rather hear violin music on the stereo,” Brian concluded somewhat definitively, “And are you ever going to tell me what happened to Malcolm?  I presume Ethan knew where Malcolm was.”

 

“It turns out,” Justin began, “That a day or so after Ethan and Malcolm met, they decided to have a picnic lunch on the grass in front of the music building.  Well, some dramat named Roderick was also on the lawn.  He’s our Hamlet this year and he was practicing the ‘To be or not to be’ soliloquy near where Ethan and Malcolm were eating.  Seems that Malcolm has always loved _Hamlet_ , and was quite taken by Roderick’s performance, and Roderick too.  Malcolm and Roderick made a date for dinner and that’s the last Ethan ever saw of Malcolm.”

 

“Good old Malcolm seems to have Hamlet’s problem of not being able to make up his mind,” Brian concluded, “I think Ethan’s well rid of him, and you are too, Sweetheart, although it seems that if you just wait, Malcolm will disappear.  How is Ethan taking the loss?”

 

“He said he felt very bad for a couple of hours,” Justin continued, “ But then you’ll never guess what happened.  Tom called Ethan.  Tom said he had made a mistake, that he really missed Ethan, and that he does want to come to Pittsburgh to be with Ethan.  Ethan is on cloud nine.  It was Tom he really wanted all along, you know that.”

 

“Young guys don’t know what they want,” Brian groused, “I used to be young and I know.”  Then he went on, “But you are the exception, Baby, you are really the exception.  I told you that before and I meant it, but I need to add how glad I am that you are the exception.  I’m so glad I’m not young any more.”

 

Justin snuggled up closer to Brian and whispered into his ear, “I’m glad I was never really young.”


	39. Chapter 39 - The Whole Truth

Justin breathlessly rushed into the little restaurant just off-campus where he occasionally met Brian for lunch.  Brian was already there, sitting in one of the rear booths. 

“I got your message on my voice mail, Bri.  What’s up?” Justin blurted out, “Is this some kind of an emergency?”

 

“Not really,” Brian responded with a wry smile, “I just wanted to have lunch with you and then, if you have time, I want to look around the campus.”

 

Justin looked at him quizzically.  “Something is up, Honey,” Justin told Brian, “I get the feeling that you think I’ve done something.  You’re not mad at me, are you?”

 

“Not at all, Sunshine,” Brian answered, “It’s just that I was talking to Daphne.  She wanted you when she called but you weren’t in so we got to talking and …”

 

“And she told you about the posters,” Justin finished the sentence.

 

“She told me about the posters,” Brian confirmed, “But you didn’t.  You know I want to see all your work and you promised me I would.  So now I’m going to see the posters.”

 

“Brian,” Justin defended himself, “I told you that sometimes I just did some experimenting and I didn’t want you to see the ones I threw away.  You said that was OK with you.”

 

“But these posters are up all over the campus according to Daphne.  She said they were great,” Brian reminded him, “Were they experiments you meant to throw away and posted all over the campus instead?”

 

“They were posters I didn’t want to do.  They’re not what I like doing.  They are advertising the school’s production of _Hamlet_.  I guess you know that too,” Justin protested, “I got conned into doing them.”

 

“So advertising is beneath your artistic aspirations, eh?” Brian wanted to know.

 

“Shit, Brian,” Justin gave in, “I’m losing this one.  I’m sorry.  I should have let you see the posters.  Don’t be mad at me.  Let’s eat and then I’ll show them all to you.  There are three different ones.”

 

While they were eating Brian asked Justin about the production.  “Isn’t the star of this _Hamlet_ the Roderick who is your little friend Malcolm’s latest love?” Brian asked, “Are we going to see it together or were you planning to see it without me, maybe with Malcolm?”

 

“Please cut it out Brian.  I should have told you about the damn posters.” Justin pleaded,  ‘I don’t want to see the show at all, but if I went, I would certainly want you to come along.   You know that.”

 

They finished eating with no more said about the posters and Justin took Brian on a tour where Brian got to see the three posters that Justin did not want to do.  Brian was impressed.

 

“You are an artistic genius, Baby,” Brian told Justin admiringly,  “You could make a fortune in advertising if you didn’t just go for that pure art shit.  Think it over.”

 

Justin just smiled as they walked back to the street where Brian was parked.  On the way, they noticed a couple across the street in a passionate embrace.  “Those guys will give gays a bad name.” Brian told him jokingly, “All that crap in public.  They should be ashamed.”

“Yeah,” Justin agreed with a broad smile, “We would never do anything like that, would we?”  Then he added, “Brian, Honey, the one on the left is Malcolm.”

 

“Wow,” Brian acknowledged, ”He’s just like I pictured him, and now I actually get to see the famous Malcolm in person.  But I must say you flattered Roderick on those posters.  You made him look a lot better than what I’m seeing across the street.”

 

“Isn’t that what art in advertising is all about?” Justin jibed, “Advertising art is not the truth.”

 

Justin breathed a sigh of relief as Brian pulled out to head back to the office.  The storm had been successfully weathered.  And their little sidewalk scene was so much more dignified than Malcolm’s.  Justin vowed to himself that from then on, he would always tell Brian the whole truth.  But he had an enigmatic smile on his face.

 

Brian and Justin had dinner with Mel and Lindsay at Woody’s that evening.  Brian told them about the posters.  Justin was pleased about how much Brian liked his drawings, but he also wanted the subject out of way once and for all.

 

When they got back to the loft, Brian lit the fireplace, and sat himself down on the floor facing it.  Justin soon joined him there.  It was a favorite activity for both of them.  They just sat there for a while and Justin began to feel a bit uneasy.  He could read Brian’s moods and he was uncertain what was coming next.

 

Finally Brian spoke.  “What is truth?” he said.

 

“Are you quoting the Bible or just voicing a philosophic question?” Justin wanted to know.

 

“Both, I guess,” Brian said, “I was just wondering if you had anything to tell me?”

 

“Brian, I told you I was sorry about the posters.  Is that what this is all about?” Justin protested, “I promise I will always tell you the whole truth from now on.  And I will.”

 

“I did some thinking this afternoon about our little campus tour,” Brian went on, “And I think there might have been one place where you didn’t tell me the whole truth.  Anything you have to tell me?”

 

“Yeah,” Justin admitted, “You are tough, Brian, and smart.  That was not Roderick that Malcolm was making out with on the street today.  It was Alvin.  I was just trying to avoid another lecture from you on fickle young people.”

 

“And who the hell is Alvin?” Brian laughed, much to Justin’s relief.

 

“Alvin plays Polonius in _Hamlet_.  When Malcolm went to dress rehearsal, he saw Alvin and went right after him.” Justin related, “Malcolm says he likes older guys.”

 

“But I’ll bet Alvin isn’t any older than Roderick,” Brian replied.’

 

“No,” Justin said, “But Polonius is older than Hamlet and Alvin looks older in costume.  Brian, I want to keep you away from Malcolm.  He’s sure to fall for you and make a pest of himself.”

 

“Because I’m so old?” Brian pondered.

 

“Because you’re so hot and a bit older than we are,” Justin corrected him

 

“The whole truth is that I am old,” Brian complained.

 

“Well, the whole truth may hurt sometimes, Sweetheart, “ Justin smiled at him, “But that’s what you want.  It is also the whole truth that I love you and I always will but I guess that’s no consolation.”

 

Brian squeezed Justin closer and acted as if it actually was a lot of consolation.  They just sat there for a while but the last word on the subject had not yet been spoken.

 

“Baby,” Brian finally said to Justin, “You know what.  I think maybe we should get out of town for all of January and February next year.”

 

“Now just what brought that up?” Justin wondered.

 

“I was thinking, Honey,” Brian told him, “That with the way Malcolm is going through the guys at the Institute, he should be back to you sometime in late January, or February at the latest.”

 

“Brian,” Justin wailed. 

 

”Sometimes the whole truth hurts,” Brian told him. 


	40. Chapter 40 - Out to Play

“I can’t believe you’re making me do this, Brian – forcing me to do something I don’t want to do,” Justin growled as they climbed the last few steps to the building entrance, “I just can’t believe it.” 

“Yeah, I’ll admit it’s hard to believe,” Brian responded nonchalantly, “Now if it were you forcing me to do something I didn’t want to do, you wouldn’t have any trouble believing that, and neither would I.”

 

“That is a really mean thing for you to say, Brian,” Justin countered, “I never make you do anything you don’t want to do.  I wouldn’t ever do that.”

 

“OK, Sweetheart, I’m going to list a few examples for you,” Brian told him.

 

“Never mind,” Justin grouched, “You’re just going to name a few times when I strongly encouraged you to do the right thing, but I never forced you to do anything.”

 

“That’s all I’m doing here, Baby,” Brian defended himself, “I’m strongly encouraging you to do the right thing.  This _Hamlet_ is a function at your school.  You created those beautiful posters outside, and a lot of your friends are in it.  You should be here so I sacrificed myself and decided to come with you.”

 

“You threatened me, Brian,” Justin insisted, “You threatened me and you forced me to come.”

 

“I’m going to hold your hand all through the show,” Brian told him.

 

That brought a semblance of a smile to Justin’s face.  “Why didn’t you say so in the first place?” he wondered.

 

When they had got themselves seated in the fourth row center of the campus theater, Brian pushed his perceived advantage.  “If Malcolm’s here, I’d like to meet him at intermission,” he whispered to Justin.

 

“Why?” Justin wanted to know.  “I guess that’s the real reason you insisted that we come.”

 

“Just idle curiosity,” Brian answered, “I’m not going to trade you in for any newer model just because of your petulance tonight.  You don’t have to worry about that.”

 

“Well that’s a relief,” Justin replied with a smile, “But, Honey, Malcolm will be here tonight and you will not be meeting him at intermission.”

 

“Now who’s getting bossy?” Brian asked him.

 

“Not me, Honey,” Justin told him.  “It’s just that Malcolm is in the cast and the cast does not mix with the audience at intermission.  Malcolm will be playing Guildenstern.”

 

“Malcolm is in the cast?” Brian repeated, “I thought only students of dramatics are in the casts here, and Malcolm is in your department.  Did that last boy-friend of his, Alvin, get him in?”

 

“No, Honey,” Justin grinned at him, “Alvin does not have that kind of influence, but Devon, the student director, does and Malcolm is dating Devon now.  Alvin didn’t last.  But we do occasionally have non-dramats in the play casts so it’s been done before.  In a couple of emergencies they have even used outsiders.”

 

“Well maybe Devon will last at least the run of the play,” Brian laughed.

 

“That would be three weeks,” Justin pointed out, “And that would be a longevity record for Malcolm.”

 

The house lights dimmed and the curtains opened on the dark bleak castle wall.  Brian took Justin’s hand and Justin decided to make the most of the evening, which actually went rather quickly.  The play was nicely staged and well acted.  Malcolm held his own with the trained dramats in his couple of appearances.  

 

Justin spent most of the time watching the play but he also spent some time watching Brian.  He liked watching both but a certain question crossed his mind as he was looking at Brian.  He filed it away for later discussion.

 

When they got back to the loft, Brian was about to ask Justin if he would like to sit for a while by the fireplace, but before he could ask, Justin lit it himself, so Brian did not have to ask that question.

 After the usual quiet period spent just looking at the hypnotic flames jumping to and fro, Brian spoke first.  “Now aren’t you glad you went to the play?” he asked Justin. __

“Yeah,” Justin allowed, “I’m kind of glad you made me go.  It probably was the right thing to do.  Can I ask you a question though, Bri?”

 

“I did not make you go, but things are now really back to normal if you have a question.  I hope it’s about _Hamlet_ because I am a bit of an expert on _Hamlet_ if I must say so myself,” Brian told him.

 

“Well it is about _Hamlet_ , Honey,” Justin assured him, “But it’s about you too.  I was watching you during the play and I noticed you were mouthing Laertes’ lines along with Jason who was playing him.  You didn’t mouth anybody else’s lines.   Why was that, Brian?”

 

Oh, oh,” Brian stated, “I think I may be sorry I made you go tonight.”

 

“Thanks for finally admitting you made me go, Sweetheart,” Justin responded, “But I want an answer to my question.  You know I have an inquiring mind.”

 

“You got me, Baby,” Brian admitted, “So I played Laertes when I was in college.  You know I did a lot of dumb things before I met you, and that was one of them.”

 

“Why weren’t you Hamlet?” Justin wanted to know.

 

“Because the director was straight,” Brian laughed, “And he assigned the roles on merit.”

 

“And why did you keep this acting background a deep dark secret from me?” Justin wanted to know.

 

“I didn’t keep it a secret from you, Baby,” Brian replied, “The subject never came up.  In the next fifty years you may learn a lot of things about me you didn’t know before.  That’s how life works.  You probably didn’t know that I was addicted to Dentyne chewing gum when I was in grade school.”

 

“I can’t believe you’ve kept all these secrets from me,” Justin complained, “I’ll bet you Mikey knew all this.”

 

“Of course he did,” Brian admitted, “He lived through those times with me.  He saw the _Hamlet_ I was in.  He didn’t know what the hell was going on but he saw it.  And he knew about the Dentyne chewing gum too.”

 

“I’m jealous of Mikey and Lindsay, Brian,” Justin told him, “They knew you when you were growing up.  They know things about you that I can’t know as well as they do.”

 

“But you know me a lot better than they do and better than they ever will,” Brian responded, “And that’s the way I want it and will always want it.”

 

“Well, I wish I could have known you then too,” Justin insisted.  The conversation sort of petered out then and the guys just sat quietly.  They were thinking but not talking.

 

Justin broke the silence.  “Brian, if I were your age, and if we were in high school together,” he asked, “Would we have fallen in love then?”

 

“Now there’s a question I absolutely do not have the answer for, and I sure don’t want to guess at,” Brian answered. “That’s something we can never know.”

 

“You don’t think we were made for each other?” Justin asked.

 

“Oh no you don’t, Twink,” Brian laughed at him, “I think we were made for each other all right, but not at the same time.  If we were the same age, maybe we would not have been made for each other.  We have what we have and we should be satisfied with that.  I know I am.  I hope you are.”

 

“You know I love you, Brian, and you’re right.  I guess I don’t have any choice.” Justin conceded.  “I don’t like it though when I don’t have any choice.”

 

“I know you don’t,” Brian agreed as the conversation slowed again.

 

It was a little while later when Justin asked the final question of the evening.  “Brian, Honey,” Justin posed, “Will you do your Laertes for me sometime?”

 

“Not unless you force me to do something I don’t want to do,” Brian told him.


	41. Chapter 41 - The Show Must Go On

It started out to be a quiet Thursday evening.  Then Justin came rushing into the loft.  “Turn the fireplace on, Brian,” he fairly shouted. 

“We don’t have time for any fireside chats right now, Baby,” Brian replied, “We have to get started for Debbie’s in twenty minutes.  “If we’re late, there may not be enough spaghetti left to satisfy your gourmet appetite.”

 

“This can’t wait,” Justin insisted.  “I need to ask you something and I need all the help I can get.”

 

“If you need all the help you can get, Sweetheart,” Brian responded, “It’s a sure bet I’m going to need all the help I can get in a minute or so.  OK, we light the fireplace.”

 

The usual quiet time was dispensed with and Justin began the conversation.  “Brian, we have a big problem at school and I told Malcolm and Devon that I’d try to help them with it.”

 

“Thank God, I’m not involved,” Brian told him, not believing for a moment that he was not going to become involved.

 

“Actually, I guess you just might be involved,” Justin went on.  “Jason was injured in an car accident this morning.  He has a concussion and doesn’t even remember who he is.”

 

“I don’t even have a concussion,” Brian laughed, “And I don’t remember who he is, do I?”

 

“Yeah you do,” Justin reminded him, “He was in the _Hamlet_ that we saw a few weeks back, He played Laertes.  You mouthed the lines along with him.  Remember?”

 

Now Brian began to feel uneasy.  “Yeah,” he remembered.  “So?”

 

“Jerry was with him,” Justin continued, “Jerry’s leg was broken.  Jerry could actually go on in a wheelchair but the doctors don’t want him to leave the hospital until they’re sure that there aren’t any internal injuries.”

 

“Honey, I think you’re getting ahead of your story, and I’m not quite following you,” Brian told him.

 

“Brian, I don’t see why you don’t get it,” Justin wondered.  “Jason was our Laertes and Jerry was his standby.  We don’t have a Laertes for the last two performances, tomorrow night and Saturday.”

 

Now Brian was able to follow where Justin was going.  He got it all right but he didn’t want it.  “I’m sure in a big drama school like you guys have, they can find some emergency replacement,” he thought out loud.

 

“The person would only have less than twenty-four hours to learn the part, and all our other actors are preparing for _Tartuffe_ which opens on Tuesday,” Justin countered.

 

“Who did the posters for _Tartuffe_?” Brian asked.

 

“Not me, Brian.  Actually it was Malcolm,” Justin told him, “But we really don’t have time to digress, Honey. They want you to do Laertes for the last two performances.  You know the lines and Devon will show you the stage business tonight at 9:30, if you’ll do it.”

 

“And how did Devon think of me.  I don’t know Devon and Devon doesn’t know me,” Brian  inquired.

 

“Honey, we’re going to be late getting to Debbie’s if you keep wanting all the details,” Justin protested,  “Malcolm told Devon, and I told Malcolm, but that was two weeks ago after we saw the performance.  I was congratulating Malcolm and I just threw that in.”

 

“If Devon and Malcolm hadn’t been going together, this might not have come up at all, I guess,” Brian wished.

 

“Brian,” Justin informed him, “Malcolm and Devon broke up last week.  Malcolm is going with Jack now, but we’re all working together.  The show must go on.”

 

“I’m beginning to hope the spaghetti’s gone and you starve,” Brian told him.  “I can’t just walk in and play Laertes with that gang of good actors.  I don’t want to.”

 

“Brian, you can do anything.  I know you can do this” Justin insisted.  “You’ll be the best actor on the stage.  I’ll be so proud of you.”

 

“You might wish you didn’t even know me if I trip on my cape and stab myself with my own sword,” Brian warned him.  “I don’t think it’s a good idea at all.  But you told them I would do it, didn’t you?”

 

“Not exactly,” Justin began to explain.

 

“Forget the crap, Baby,” Brian told him, “I’ll do it if you want me to.  I do remember all the lines.  But I’m doing it for you so you owe me.  You probably did something to Jason’s car so that you’d get to see me play Laertes.  Maybe having you there would make me nervous and you shouldn’t come.”

 

“Cut it out, Brian,” Justin smiled at him, “I’m going to be there both nights, but I’ll stay out of the first row so I won’t distract you.  There are still some things I can learn from you though.  I never thought of sabotaging Jason’s car.”

 

“What makes you think having you in the first row would distract me?” Brian asked him.

 

Justin threw both arms around Brian and kissed him.  “You are the greatest guy in the world, Bri, and I love you,” Justin whispered, “But you still have a mean streak.”

 

“Sweetheart,” Brian whispered back, “I am doing this for you but, you know, I am also going to finally meet Malcolm.”

 

“A great big mean streak,” Justin repeated as he kissed Brian again.

 

There was plenty of spaghetti at Debbie’s.  Justin triumphantly downed more than his share.  Brian did two performances of Laertes flawlessly.  Justin was proud.  He hoped that Brian would not find out that he had smuggled all the gang in to see their friend on stage.  Michael had pointed out that, while Brian had been much better in the role of Laertes this time around, the play itself had not improved with age.  Brian and Justin had gone to the cast party after the final performance and enjoyed themselves.  Brian had made it clear to everyone that those in attendance had seen his farewell stage performance, making very sure that Justin heard him.

 

When they got back to the loft, the guys were still excited about all the activity.  They lit the fireplace and took their usual positions.

 

“We don’t have to rush tonight,” Brian proclaimed as they settled in, so they had their quiet time.

 

“You know, Honey,” Brian began to tease Justin, “Malcolm didn’t make a play for me at all.  I was surprised.”

 

“He said you weren’t his type,” Justin teased back.

 

“What do you mean, not his type?” Brian sounded surprised, “I thought his type was any male between puberty and senility.  What did he mean, not his type?  What was the matter with me?”

 

“Settle down, Sweetheart,” Justin answered, “I’m just kidding.  Malcolm was tremendously impressed with you, but I had a talk with Malcolm before you met him.  He knew you were off-limits and he promised he’d leave you alone.  I’m glad to hear that he did.  He told me afterwards that if you ever were available, he’d like to go after you though.”

 

“That’s comforting to know,” Brian allowed, “Actually, Malcolm is just my type.”

 

“Why would you say that, Brian?  That’s a mean thing to say,” Justin took offense.

 

“He’s young, he’s cute, he’s smart, he’s blond, he’s an artist,” Brian enumerated.

 

“Well so am I,” Justin replied, sounding hurt.

 

“What do you think I’m trying you tell you, you silly little twink?” Brian exclaimed.  “I love you.  You’re a young, cute, smart, blond artist.  Malcolm’s a lot like you but he’s not you.  He’s just like you.” 

 

“So I guess if Malcolm had come along first, he would have got you instead of me,” Justin complained.

 

“I don’t think so, Baby.  It took a lot of single-minded determination to trap me and I doubt if Malcolm has enough of that,” Brian assured him.

 

“I did not ‘trap’ you, Brian Kinney.  I may have pursued you a little but it was for your own good,” Justin insisted, “I did not ‘trap’ you.”

 

“Terminology,” Brian allowed.

 

“So if I got injured or something, you wouldn’t grab up Malcolm as a substitute.  Don’t even think of that, Brian,” Justin warned him.

 

“Now you’re telling me the show does not have to go on,” Brian laughed as he threw both arms around his one and only young, cute, smart, blond artist. 


	42. Chapter 42 - Advice from Experts

“What did I do now?” Brian asked as he entered the loft and noticed Justin scowling at him.

“I think you know what you did,” Justin replied off-handedly.

“Well I do know what I did and I was planning to confess it all to you as soon as I got here,” Brian admitted, “But how do I know you know what I did?”

“Oh I know all right, Mr. Brian Kinney,” Justin assured him, “And I’ll be very interested in any explanation you care to offer.”

Brian was beginning to enjoy this cat-and-mouse game, and since he had a logical explanation for his suspicious behavior, he decided to play on for a while. “And how do you know what you think you know?” he asked Justin.

“Mikey told me,” Justin answered.

That surprised Brian. “Mikey told on me,” he exclaimed, “I can’t believe Michael would tell you that without confronting me first. He’s supposed to be my friend. I’ve told Mikey how much I love you more than I’ve told you.”

“And why would you do a thing like that?” Justin wanted to know.

“He doesn’t create a scene every time I tell him,” Brian told him.

“Well thanks a lot for providing that information, Brian,” Justin complained, “But don’t go getting mad at Mikey. He’s not the villain here. You are. Mikey didn’t know he was telling me anything at all.”

“I don’t see how that could be,” Brian wondered, “Either he told you or he didn’t.”

Now Justin was smiling just a little. “Brian, Sweetheart, and that’s a very sarcastic ‘Sweetheart,’ Honey,” Justin explained. “I was in the diner when Michael stopped by to get some lemon squares to go. He told me that he had seen us sitting on a park bench near the campus earlier in the afternoon but he was driving and he couldn’t stop because he was late picking up Ben. Now I know I wasn’t on any park bench with you today. It was near the campus. Who could it have been with you that Mikey would mistake for me? What the hell were you doing on a park bench near the campus this afternoon with Malcolm Macduff, Brian?”

“Talking,” Brian told him, “But I suppose you’ll want to know more than that.”

“I would appreciate a few details,” Justin admitted, “If they won’t break my heart.”

“Oh cut it out, you little drama queen,” Brian laughed at him, “I was going to tell you all about it anyhow. I think you’ll find it interesting. Can we light the fireplace?”

“Whatever you’d like,” Justin told him.

The fireplace got lit but Justin did not cuddle up next to Brian like he usually did. “Well?” Justin wanted to know.

“First of all, I want you to know that I forgive you for pretending to suspect me of anything,” Brian began.

“And how do you know I was just pretending to suspect you?” Justin asked him.

“Because I know that you trust me,” Brian responded, “But I don’t know exactly why you were pretending to suspect me.”

“That’s easy, Bri,” Justin explained as he moved over and nestled against Brian’s body, “ I was afraid you wouldn’t want to tell me what was going on and I really wanted to know.”

“OK,” Brian gave up, “This silliness could go on all night so here it is. This is the story. I got a phone call from Malcolm at the office this morning. He said he needed to talk to me. I was afraid it might be about you so I thought I better talk to him. I had an hour free so I asked him to meet me in the park. I wanted it to be a public place just in case. By the way, I told Cynthia what I was going to do and why. I also told her that you didn’t know but that I would tell you tonight. You can check with Cynthia if you want to. She’s always on your side.”

“She is, isn’t she?” Justin taunted, “But I don’t have to check with her. You know I trust you. And was it about me that Malcolm wanted to see you?”

“No, Baby,” Brian smiled, “It was about me.”

“He promised me he wouldn’t hit on you,” Justin moaned.

“He didn’t hit on me, Honey,” Brian told him, “That’s not what he wanted.”

“What did he want then?” Justin pressed Brian.

“Well,” Brian said, “It seems that Malcolm has been visiting both Woody’s and Babylon lately. He happened to mention to just about everybody in both places that he is a friend of yours and mine, so he learned our whole story from the beginning.”

“So why did he want to talk to you about that?” Justin was puzzled.

“He wants to be the new me, Sweetheart,” Brian told him, “He said he has had such bad luck with relationships that he wants to give up love and concentrate on sex like I used to. He said he wants to be the new ‘King of Liberty Avenue’ and he wanted me to tell him how to go about it.”

“Probably with demonstrations too,” Justin teased, “I guess Jack broke Malcolm’s heart.”

“Now it’s you who are behind the times,” Brian chuckled, “Jack’s old news. It was Alexander who broke Malcolm’s heart.”

“Malcolm is hard to keep up with,” Justin admitted, “But I don’t think he could ever be another you.” 

That’s what I thought,” Brian replied, “He’s too young and he’s not nearly sexy enough.”

“He is too young but I think he’s sexy enough,” Justin disagreed. “He’s not mean enough though. He’d be too nice to the tricks. He’d see them as real people with real feelings and that would never work.”

“Thank you for sharing that opinion with me,” Brian grumbled.

“Brian, Honey, you know I love you but this story is just so funny. What did you tell him?” Justin asked.

“I told him that kind of life wasn’t so great,” Brian answered. “I told him that’s why I gave it up and settled down with you. I told him I was happier being in love with you than I have ever been in my life.”

Brian was looking away from Justin so he did not see the kid’s face light up at that statement, so he just continued, “And that, Baby, is the end of the story.”

“No it’s not, Brian,” Justin challenged him, “I know Malcolm and he would never accept that answer. Tell me what he said when you told him that.”

“Damned if it isn’t a pain that you know everybody so well,” Brian complained, “All right, he told me he would be willing to give up that life when he got too old for it – just like I did.”

“Now that does sound like Malcolm, Bri,” Justin laughed. “And how did you respond to that remark?”

“I just told him again that my advice was not to pursue that course of action,” Brian informed Justin, “And I told him he ought to discuss his plans with you.”

“Me?” Justin exclaimed.

“Yes, you,” Brian told him. “You usually do know what people should do and why.”

“Well, Mr. Kinney,” Justin answered, “What I think I should do now is really get mad at you. But, as usual you are right. I do need to talk to Malcolm. I don’t think he wants to be ‘King of Liberty Avenue’ at all. He knows he wants something but he doesn’t know what it is. He’s a really mixed up kid. I will talk to him.”

So Justin did not get mad at Brian. What he did was to snuggle even closer to Brian. He threw his arms around Brian and kissed him. “And I am happier being in love with you than I have ever been in my whole life, too,” he told Brian.

Brian smiled at him. “You know,” he said, “I guess I ought to quit telling Mikey how much I love you and tell you instead.”

That surprised Justin. “And what brought about that change of heart, Honey,” he asked Brian.

“I guess I’m getting to like the scenes you make,” Brian told him.


	43. Chapter 43 - Ready to Wear

Justin and Brian were sitting in the darkened loft with just the fake fireplace blazing in front of them.  Ghostly shadows flickered against the walls providing the exact right atmosphere for the discussion that was about to take place. 

“It’s time we made our final plans for Halloween, Brian,” Justin was telling him, “It’s just around the corner and it’s going to be big for us this year.”

 

“We don’t have to go to the costume party at Babylon if you don’t want to,” Brian replied, “I just thought it would be fun.”

 

“There’s no reason not to go, Honey,” Justin responded, “If you think it will be fun, it probably will be.  We don’t get there very much any more.  Just as long as we get over to Gus’ to spend the early evening with him. We promised Mel and Linz we would be there, and I know you want to see Gus in costume, and so do I.”

 

“Well what’ll we wear?” Brian wondered, “We both have Easter Bunny costumes.  Maybe we should both go as Easter bunnies.”

 

“No sale, Sweetheart,” Justin answered, “Two Easter bunnies is at least one too many.  We have a Santa Claus suit available that fits you though so we could go as Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny.  That would go over big at Babylon, I bet.”

 

“And it would probably scare Gus too.” Brian opined, “But you know I was only kidding, don’t you?”

 

“Yeah, I knew you were only kidding.  So was I.,” Justin said, “But, Honey I have something to tell you, and I’m not kidding.  I want you to think about it before you say anything, OK?”

 

“Shit, Justin,” Brian told him, “Even you can’t mess up Halloween.”  Then he added, “I’m not going to be sorry I said that, am I?”

 

“Do you remember that you told Lindsay that you would wear whatever costume Gus would like you to wear?” Justin asked Brian.

 

“Vaguely,” Brian answered cautiously.

 

“Well,” Justin continued, “Gus wants you to come as his favorite character, SpongeBob SquarePants.”

 

“Who in the hell is SquarePants SpongeBob?”  Brian cried.

 

“You were supposed to think about it before you said anything, Brian.  You promised.” Justin told him, “And it is SpongeBob SquarePants.”  Then Justin continued, “Brian, Honey, you have a way of mixing up people’s names if you don’t like them.  Of course, I know it’s deliberate on your part, but sometime I wish you’d tell me why you do it?”

 

“I didn’t promise anything, and I mix up people’s names just because I don’t like them, or maybe just because I’m mad at them,” Brian groused.

 

“You know, Brian,” Justin smiled.  “It makes me happy to know that.  It proves you liked me from the first night we met.  You didn’t get my name wrong at all.  You just forgot it entirely.”

 

“I didn’t forget it at all and you know it,” Brian replied.

 

“Well what does it mean when you pretend to forget people’s names?” Justin asked, “I’d really like to know that.”

 

“Well I’m not telling.  You can’t make me either.” Brian laughed.

 

“Just as well,” Justin laughed with him, “This way I can make up my own interpretation and that will satisfy me completely.”

 

“You know, Jordan, you have an irritating way of changing the subject,” Brian pretended to pout, “But who is this  SpongePants SquareBob anyhow?.  And I’m going to get that name wrong even if I do like him.”

 

“You’re just not attuned to pop culture, Honey,” Justin said, handing Brian a photo, “I knew that so I just happen to have his picture right here.  What do you think?”

 

“This wasn’t Gus’ idea.” Brian screamed, “It’s that damn Melanie.  She pretends we’re friends now but deep down, she really hates me.  Nobody could like this character.”

 

“Actually, he’s very well-known, Bri,” Justin disagreed, “He’s very popular with kids but he has a considerable adult following as well.  Lots of adult meaning in SpongeBob SquarePants.  He’s bound to be big this Halloween.  You certainly won’t be the only SpongeBob SquarePants walking the streets this year.”

 

“I’m not going to be any SpongeSquare BobPants at all.  I’m not going to make a fool out of myself.  I have my dignity to consider.” Brian insisted.

 

“OK, Brian,” Justin told him, “But Gus is going to be very disappointed.  Linz said he’s been telling everybody that SpongeBob SquarePants is coming to see him on Halloween night.”

 

“Rent the damn costume,” Brian gritted his teeth.  “That was a really unlucky night when I met you and Gus both, but I guess I have to live with it now.  Go rent the damn costume.”

 

“Brian, Honey,” Justin informed him, “I already did.  Couldn’t take a chance on them running out.  It’s in the clothes closet in an unmarked bag so you can try it on any time you want to.”

 

There was a period of silence which ensued, lulling Justin into a false sense of security that the worst was over.

They were just enjoying themselves being together when a thought occurred to Brian.

 

“Shit, Baby,” he told Justin, “I can’t go to Babylon dressed as SquareBob SpongePants.  I don’t want Mikey and Ben and Ted and Emmett to see me.  It’s bad enough to have Mel and Lindsay laughing at me.”

 

“By the time you get to Babylon, Sweetheart,” Justin informed him, “It will be too late for that. Those guys and Debbie and Vic will be at Gus’ when we’re there.  But I do think you better change costumes before we go to Babylon anyhow.  That would be smart.”

 

“Maybe, I should just go to Babylon naked with a hood over my head,” Brian complained.

 

Justin laughed, at least partly in sympathy.  “I don’t think that will work, Honey,” he told Brian, “Everybody will recognize you right away.”

 

Brian had to laugh too.  He knew it was funny even if the joke was on him.  “Maybe we should go as Batman and Robin,” Brian suggested, “Rumor has it that there was a gay connection there.”

 

“But I want to wear the same costume both places,” Justin objected, “And we can’t go see Gus as SpongeBob SquarePants and Robin, can we?”

 

“By the way, Sweetheart,” Brian wanted to know, “You haven’t mentioned your costume.  Who are you planning to be for Halloween?”

 

“I was thinking maybe Superman,” Justin offered tentatively.

 

“Oh,” Brian figured, “You’re going to be Superman and I’m going to be BobSquare SpongePants.  I guess you think that’s fair.”

 

“Brian, Honey, ” Justin protested, “You’re Superman every day.  I just get to be Superman for Halloween.  That’s not so bad, is it?”

 

“Justin Taylor, you are a manipulating little pain in the ass,” Brian complained, “And more than a little sneaky too.”

 

Justin moved over and kissed Brian.  “Thanks for telling me you love me,” he said to Brian.

 

“Is that what I did?” Brian asked with surprise in his voice.

 

“Sure,” Justin answered, “Didn’t you get my whole name right?”


	44. Chapter 44 - Ciao

Justin was about an hour later than usual for a Tuesday evening when he reached the loft.  Brian was already home. 

“You’re late,” Brian accused Justin jocularly,  “You’re working too hard at school.”

 

“I didn’t know we had such a strict time schedule,” Justin laughed back, “Thanks for worrying about me.  I wasn’t working though.  I was out carousing.”

 

“While I was sitting here hungry,” Brian groused.  “I wanted a nice big juicy hamburger.”

 

“Did it occur to you that you could prepare the nice big juicy hamburger that you wanted yourself?”  Justin asked him.

 

“I like the hamburgers you make better than the ones I make,” Brian answered.

 

“Probably because you never make hamburgers – or anything else,” Justin joked, “But Justin is here now and Brian will get his hamburger as soon as I can rustle it up.  Actually, it’s nice to be needed, Brian.”

 

“I guess I wouldn’t know about that,” Brian complained.

 

“If you want sympathy, I’ll give you some,” Justin announced, “But I can’t prepare hamburgers and dish out sympathy at the same time, so pick.”

 

“Go do the hamburgers,” Brian decided, “There will be plenty of time for the sympathy later.”

 

“Just what I figured,” Justin concluded, smiling at Brian, “First things first.”.

 

When the hamburgers were prepared and the guys were seated at the table, Brian wondered, “Did you say you were out carousing?  Without me?  I thought we did all our carousing together.”

 

“Carousing is always more fun when you’re there,” Justin told him, “You are the world’s best carouser, but this was a spur of the moment occasion.  It was a going-away party for Malcolm.”

 

“Malcolm is going away?” Brian replied with surprise.

 

“It won’t be for long, Brian.  Just a couple of months or maybe three.  He’s going to Florence to do some studying over there.  His family has a lot of money and they want him to go.  They think it will be good for him.  Could be they just want him out of Pittsburgh for a while.”

 

“Italy’s pretty far away.”  Brian responded.  “What if there aren’t any gay guys over there?  How will Malcolm survive?”

 

“I think there are probably some gay guys in Italy, Bri,” Justin laughed, “And if there are, Malcolm will find them all.”

 

“Well I’m worried about poor Malcolm over in some strange country,” Brian joked,  “He could become a modern Leonardo DaVinci, but without a hundred or so guys to love, how could he be happy?”

 

“You know, Brian,” Justin informed him, “Leonardo was gay.  He loved this thirteen year old kid when he was about sixty.  That’s worse than you even.”

 

“Wow,” Brian marveled, “Then there’s still hope for me.  I’m not sixty yet.  When I’m sixty, you will be too old for me probably.  What was good for Leonardo….”

 

“The problem is, Honey,” Justin retorted, “I’m too old for you now – but I make the necessary allowances for the difference in ages.  And what was good for Leonardo might not work for you.  You have me and Leonardo didn’t.”

 

“That is so true,” Brian allowed, “If poor Leonardo would have had you, he probably wouldn’t have had time to be a genius.”

 

“But you are a genius, Brian,” Justin argued, “Leonardo didn’t know about advertising so he didn’t do anything at all in that field.  He left it for some other genius to work on, and then you came along.”

 

“Do you think Leonardo would have been better at advertising than I am?” Brian asked.

 

“Not a chance,” Justin replied, “And I don’t think he would be as silly as we are either.”

 

“I don’t know about that,” Brian countered, “Didn’t you say he got himself mixed up with some teen-ager?”

 

“Now that’s an interesting point,” Justin admitted, “I’ll think about it.”

 

“Please don’t bother,” Brian asked him.

 

It was a few hours later before the subject came up again.  By that time the fireplace was lit and the guys were happily ensconced in front of it.

 

“Does the Institute allow students to just pick up and go to Europe for a few months whenever they want to?” Brian asked.

 

“It’s not that common, Bri, but, if the trip seems to offer some special opportunities, they will let students go to do some field work,” Justin told him.

 

“And this trip to Florence will be good for Malcolm?” Brian continued.

 

“It should be, Honey,” Justin said, “If Malcolm makes the most of his opportunities, it could be very valuable for him.  It’s hard to tell what Malcolm will do though.”

 

“What about you?” Brian asked him.

 

“What are you talking about, Brian?” Justin wanted to know.

 

“Would you want to go to Florence to study for a while – or Paris, maybe?” Brian said, “I don’t think it would be a good idea to have you and Malcolm in the same place, where I couldn’t watch you both.  The finances would be no problem and I know you would make the most of whatever was available.”

 

“Brian,” Justin declared, “There is no way I would leave you to study anywhere – not even if I could study with DaVinci himself.”

 

“I wouldn’t be mentioning this at all if I thought you would be studying with DaVinci himself,” Brian pointed out, “Didn’t that guy have a fondness for cute teenagers?  He might stretch a point and go for a twenty-year old, and he can’t have mine.  It’s just that you are so talented and I want you to have the best training available.  I don’t want to hold you back.”

 

Justin’s eyes teared up.  “That is so nice of you to say that, Brian,” he told him, “You are not holding me back.  You couldn’t do that.  You are my inspiration.  You are why I am not at Dartmouth working on a business degree.  If I get anywhere in art it will be because of you.  You could never hold me back.”

 

“But it would be just for a little while.  I really would miss you, Baby,” Brian responded, “And I hope you would miss me too – but I want you to have everything.”

 

“Brian, sometimes you are such a dope,” Justin told him, “I do have everything, and I am not giving it up to go anywhere.  And by the way, I think you said that you would be worried about Malcolm being alone in some strange country.  How come you wouldn’t be worried about me?”

 

“I would be worried about you,” Brian smiled, “Every night at Babylon, I’d be worrying about you.  I would hardly enjoy myself at all.”

 

“Cut it out, Brian,” Justin told him, “You’re not fooling me. You don’t really want me to go to Europe.  You wouldn’t know what to do without me.”

 

“Honey,” Brian responded, “When you get finished at the Institute, I’ll want you to go to Europe for at least a few months to study, and I promise that I will go along with you so you won’t have to worry about me at Babylon.  I mean that, Baby, but you are right, I would miss you terribly if you went now.  My hamburgers are not nearly as good as yours.”


	45. Chapter 45 - Great Memories

The day was perfect for autumn.  The few clouds in the sky filtered the golden autumn sunlight, which through the trees cast dappled shadows onto the path where Justin and Brian were walking.  It was the kind of beautiful fall day that often leads to reminiscing and speculating, but that was not what the guys had in mind.  It was just a great Sunday afternoon and they had decided to walk along the river in Clemente Park, right across the Allegheny River from downtown Pittsburgh, and adjacent to Heinz Field where the Steelers were in the midst of a game.  From the crowd sounds, they thought the Steelers might just be winning. 

“Remember we went to that playoff game last year?” Justin reminded Brian.

 

“Yeah,” Brian answered, “On your dad’s tickets.  I can get tickets if they make the playoffs this year.  Do you want to go?”

 

“We should leave the tickets for people who support the team all season,” Justin opined.  “They’re the ones who deserve to go.”

 

“Not too much interested in football, I guess?” Brian surmised.

 

“Not much,” Justin replied.

 

“Typical little fag attitude,” Brian teased, “Afraid to get too close to the real he-man type.”

 

“Why do you think I picked you?” Justin shot back.

 

“Brat,” Brian muttered with a smile on his face as they continued down the river walk, finally plopping themselves onto one of the park benches looking at the Point where the three rivers conjoined.

 

They just sat there for a while, enjoying the day and each other’s company.  Presently some barges appeared, coming down the Mon.  At the Point they swerved into the Ohio. “They’re heading to the Gulf of  Mexico,” Justin remarked.

 

“They may be heading to the Gulf of  Mexico,” Brian replied, “But they’re not going to get there.  They’ll be stopping at Neville Island and that’s only a couple of miles down the river - a good bit short of the Gulf of Mexico.”

 

“You know, Brian,” Justin pondered, “People don’t always get where they’re headed either.”

 

“Sweetheart,” Brian laughed, “I was just thinking that there was nothing that could make this day gloomy, but I forgot about you.  Wait a minute.  I could never forget about you.  What I should have said was that I forgot about your talent for finding gloomy philosophic truth in the small things of life.”

 

“In other words,” Justin laughed, “You want me to shut up.”

 

“You really do understand me,” Brian told him, and he bent over and kissed Justin on the cheek.

 

A roar went up from the stadium crowd at that very moment, and Brian and Justin both dissolved into laughter.  “Why aren’t those people watching the game instead of us?” Justin asked.

 

“They’re probably not as interested in football as they pretend.  I guess it would be OK for us to take their tickets for the playoffs,” Brian responded.

  

“Yeah, and we’re entitled to our privacy.” Justin agreed.

“I’m afraid, Baby,” Brian advised him, “You sacrifice some of your privacy when you make out on a public park bench practically in downtown Pittsburgh.

 

“Well that’s not fair,” Justin pretended to pout, “Let’s go home.”  They stood there hand in hand for a few minutes sacrificing more of their privacy, watching the barges disappear down the Ohio River, heading for the Gulf of Mexico but doomed not to make it.  Brian knew that Justin was thinking, and Brian also knew that Justin was not big on unspoken thought.

 

The nights were getting chilly in Pittsburgh so the boys had readjusted the fake fireplace to give off real heat to go with the fake flames.  Brian thought he could predict the subject of that evening’s conversation, and he was right.

 

When they got themselves cuddled up in front of the fireplace with the blanket over them, Brian waited for Justin to begin and eventually he did.  “What’s it going to be like?” he asked Brian.

 

“You mean when I’m eighty and you’re seventy?” Brian asked him back.

 

“When you’re eighty, I’ll only be sixty-eight,” Justin reminded him.

 

“It’s good to know,” Brian smiled at him, “That at the height of your philosophic musing, you are still grounded in absolute reality.”  “It will be all right, Baby,” he went on.  “We’ll still be together.  We’ll have all kinds of wonderful memories to look back at.  Memories we haven’t made yet.”

 

“What if we’re like the barges, Brian?” Justin wondered, “Heading for the Gulf of Mexico but cut off at Neville Island.”

 

“That’s why we have to make some great memories, Sunshine.  The getting there has to part of the fun, and that’s what we’re going to do,” Brian assured him.

 

“Like what, Bri?” Justin asked.

 

“I really wish, Sweetheart,” Brian smiled at him, “That you were the kind of philosopher who had all the answers instead of the kind who had all the questions.  We’re going to have your successful career in art.  All the successes and awards you’ll be getting.  All the fame and fortune.”

 

“And you’re not going to be jealous, are you?” Justin smiled back at him.

 

“Not as long as you come home to me every night.” Brian assured him.

 

“OK then,” Justin concluded.  “I won’t mind being a success.  And I’ll be coming straight home to you every night – at a reasonable time.”

 

“To be negotiated, I presume,” Brian concluded.

 

“No negotiations, Bri,” Justin told him, squeezing himself closer to Brian, “Whatever time you say – or earlier.”

 

It was a few minutes before the conversation continued.  “Gus will grow up.  Your son will grow up.  You could be a grandfather,” Justin speculated.

 

“Gus is our son, Baby, and if I have to be a grandfather, you’re going to have to be a grandfather too,” Brian told him.

 

“But you’ll be the real grandfather, Brian,” Justin persisted.

 

“Lindsay and I are Gus’ biological parents, Honey.  Mel is his legal parent since you wisely forced me to give up parental rights,” Brian replied, “But I have the feeling that you are going to be the best parent of all to him – the real parent.”

 

“Why would you say something like that, Bri?” Justin wanted to know.

 

“Because you’re the best person among the four of us, Baby,” Brian told him, “By far.”

 

“You’re going to make me cry, Honey,” Justin told Brian, a few minutes too late.

 

“Sorry, Baby,” Brian said, “But you brought up this whole subject – and it’s kind of a neat subject, but it can get gloomy and if it’s going to make you cry, we should quit.  Let’s start making our great memories now.”

 

“It’s too late for that,” Justin said to a surprised Brian, “Because we’ve already started making great memories.  We already have a bunch of great memories.”

 

“I can’t deny that at all, Sunshine,” Brian had to agree, “But it’s not too late to make some more great memories, is it?”

 

“Not at all,” Justin agreed, “And it never will be.” 


	46. Chapter 46 - Thin Ice

Brian and Justin were having a quiet breakfast together in the loft.  The quiet part was just ending.  Justin smiled at Brian and said “Brian, the City Parks department is giving free ice-skating lessons at the Schenley Park rink for the next few weeks.  What do you say we go?” 

“Why?” Brian wanted to know, “You already skate like Brian Boitano and I have no interest in trying out for the Olympics.”

 

“Well I just thought it would be some winter fun for us.  We can skate around the big Christmas tree at the new PPG Center rink when it gets set up and that will put us in the Christmas spirit when the time comes,” Justin explained.

 

“Can I skip the skating lessons if I promise to get the Christmas spirit some other way?” Brian protested, “Or is this part of some master plan to get every bone in my body broken for the holiday season.”

 

“Well I was talking to Mikey and he and Ben are going.  They want to be able to take Hunter skating this winter.  Seems he’s a pretty good skater,” Justin told him.

 

“Well let me tell you Mikey is not a good skater.  We used to go during high school,” Brian laughed, “I could just about stand up on skates but  Mikey was flat on the ice most of the time.  I probably would be a good skater today if I hadn’t had to spend so much time helping Mikey to get up.”

 

“Ben skates very well though and he is going to help Mikey and so will Hunter,” Justin reasoned.  “I will be glad to help you.  You don’t want Mikey to be a better skater than you are, do you?”

 

“Actually that has never been an area of major concern for me,” Brian told him.  “I’m better than Michael at a lot of things so it might be good if he’s better than me at skating since I never go skating anyhow.  You know Debby and Vic can skate and they tried hard to teach Mikey, and me too, but they finally gave up.   Debby doesn’t give up very often on anything but she gave up trying to teach Mikey and me to skate.”

 

“Brian,” Justin led his trump card, “ Mel and Linz are taking Gus to the kids’ lessons on Saturday mornings.  I just know he’ll be a great skater.  Wouldn’t you want to be able to go skating with your son, and show him some of the fine points?”

 

“So there is this gigantic master plan in place,” Brian grumbled, “Brian Kinney is not going to be allowed to grow old gracefully.”

 

That made Justin laugh.  “I never knew it was part of any plan that Brian Kinney would grow old gracefully.  There haven’t been any signs of that yet,” Justin told him.

 

“I hope you mean no signs of me getting old,” Brian replied.  “Lindsay was a good skater in high school, Sunshine.  She can take Gus skating.  They don’t need me.”

 

“Brian, you are Gus’ father,” Justin insisted, “You should be there.  My dad took me skating a lot when I was a kid.  That’s why I skate so well now.  It’s something dads do.”

 

“Well my dad never took me skating.  I’m glad he didn’t,” Brian remembered, “He took me bowling and embarrassed the hell out of me.  I’m glad he didn’t take me skating.”

 

“Your dad didn’t know how to be a father, Sweetheart.  I don’t know why he didn’t but he didn’t,” Justin sympathized as he moved over to Brian’s side of the table and sat down on his lap.  “You do, Brian.  You’re going to be a great father for Gus.  You’re already a great father for Gus.”

 

“Even if it kills you,” Brian laughed at Justin.

 

“That would be better than watching you grow old gracelessly,” Justin laughed back.  “You win this one, Honey.  I give up.  If you don’t want to go skating, I’ll quit pushing you.  I love you just the way you are.”

 

“I didn’t say I wouldn’t go skating,” Brian answered, “I just want time to think about it before I make up my mind to do what you want me to – just like always.”

 

“Cut that out, Bri,” Justin ordered with a broad smile, “I don’t want you to go skating if you don’t want to go skating.  If you keep insinuating that I’m bossy, I might not even let you go skating with us at all.”

 

Brian kissed the twink and then hurried out the door.  The discussion had kept him longer than usual at the loft and he had to hurry.  He was shaking his head as he left with Justin smiling after him.

 

Brian and Justin did not eat dinner together that evening because there was an exhibit at the Institute that Justin wanted to visit.  He came home about eight o’clock.  Brian was already there.  The fireplace was lit and Brian was sprawled on the floor watching the fake flames dance.

 

“How was the exhibit?” Brian asked the kid as Justin took his position on the floor next to him.

 

“It was neat, Bri.  I got some good ideas,” Justin answered.

 

“You always get ideas,” Brian told him before they settled into their quiet moments in front of the fireplace.

 

“About the ice skating,” Brian finally brought up the subject, but he was quickly interrupted.

 

“Brian, I am too bossy and too pushy,” Justin cut in, “We don’t have to talk about the skating any more at all.  You don’t want to skate.  That’s your decision and I’m fine with that.  Sometimes I don’t know how you can tolerate the way I always want you to do something or other.  Sometimes you should just tell me to shut up.”

 

“And would you shut up?” Brain wanted to know.

 

“I don’t know,” Justin admitted, “You’ll just have to try it and we’ll both see what happens.”

 

“Well I want to talk about the skating,” Brian maintained.  “I was thinking about it at work.  I asked Cynthia this afternoon what she thought.  She’s a good skater, you know.  She was all for it.  I guess she’s seen you skate because she said you could teach me all I need to know.”

 

“She is a good skater, Brian.  We skated together at the PPG rink a couple of afternoons last winter while you were in long meetings,” Justin said, “But weren’t you afraid that Cynthia and I were in some kind of plot to get you onto skates.  You always suspect we are hatching some plot for your own good.”

 

“I asked her,” Brian admitted, “And she denied knowing anything about it.  But I took certain steps to make sure I wasn’t unduly influenced by whatever she had to say.”

 

“What did you do?” Justin asked.  “Or maybe you don’t want to tell me in case that makes it easier for Cynthia and me the next time we hatch some plot for your own good.”

 

“I was a step ahead of you there,” Brian informed him. “I stopped while I was out for lunch and bought new skates before I ever mentioned the idea to Cynthia.  You two aren’t going to pull very much over on me.”

 

Justin threw his arms around Brian and kissed him.  “You are the greatest guy in the world, Brian,” Justin gushed.  “I am so lucky to have you.  I promise you’ll have a wonderful time skating with us.  You’ll be so glad you decided to give it a try.  But Brian, you really don’t have to do what I want all the time.”

 

“Actually, Honey,” Brian admitted, “You are right most of the time.  I usually am glad I took your advice and I’ll probably just continue taking your advice, if that’s OK with you.”

 

“Of course it’s all right with me,” Justin replied, “Why wouldn’t it be all right with me?”

 

“Because you advised me to tell you to shut up sometimes,” Brian smiled at him.

 

“Well,” Justin allowed, “I guess that’s worth a try.”


	47. Chapter 47 - Role Reversal

Justin was sitting leisurely on the couch and Brian was nervously pacing back and forth across the loft.  “You are grumpier than usual today, Honey,” Justin was saying to Brian.  “What’s the matter?  Thanksgiving is coming up and you have plenty to be thankful for.” 

“Like what?” Brian wanted to know.

 

“Like me,” Justin told him, “Or aren’t you thankful any more to have me around to get you out of all your scrapes and problem situations?”

 

“Scrapes and problem situations that I probably wouldn’t have in the first place if I didn’t have you around,” Brian replied with a smile beginning to appear on his face.

 

“Well then you ought to be happy to have me around to insult,” Justin challenged him, “Who would you insult if you didn’t have me?”

 

“I used to insult everybody till you came along.  It was a lot of fun,” Brian told him with his smile widening, “Now I only get to insult you and you know I don’t mean it.  Where’s the fun there?”

 

Brian was passing the couch and Justin pulled Brian down onto his lap.  “Well what can I do to cheer you up?” he asked his favorite guy in the whole world.

 

“What is this?” Brian laughed, “Role reversal?”

 

“Wouldn’t be the first time,” Justin countered.

 

“Nor the last either,” Brian agreed.  Brian made absolutely no effort to get up.

 

“The whole holiday season depresses me sometimes,” Brian went on, “All year we get to be together here and then comes the holiday season and it seems like we’re never together.   We’re always out, or else there’s a gang in here.”

 

“But we’re out together, Sweetheart,” Justin argued, toying with Brian’s hair and pulling Brian’s head down onto his shoulder.   “We hardly ever go anywhere separately during the holidays.  We spend more time apart the rest of the year than we do at the holidays.”

 

“But we’re always in crowds at the holidays,” Brian complained, “We hardly ever have time for just the two of us. You’re never satisfied unless there’s a crowd around.”

 

“Talk about role reversal, “ Justin said, “Want me to remind you about the old days?”

 

“Ancient history,” Brian stated definitively.

 

“Those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it,” Justin pontificated.

 

“Now there’s a crock,” Brian came back at him, “I want some sympathy.”

 

“You have had enough sympathy,” Justin told him.

 

“You can never get enough,” Brian taunted.  They were both laughing by now.

 

“Well you’ve had all the sympathy you’re going to get,” Justin told him as he stood up suddenly, dumping Brian unceremoniously onto the floor.  They were both still laughing.

 

A little while passed before the subject came up again.  Brian ‘s good spirits seemed to be declining though when he asked Justin about the Thanksgiving schedule.  “Tell me again about what we have to do on Thanksgiving Day,” he asked Justin.

 

“Well at 10:30 we’re due at my mother’s.  You know that she and Molly have a 2:00 flight to Albany to see Aunt Helen for the weekend.” Justin recounted, “If I don’t see them then, I won’t see them for Thanksgiving at all.”

 

“When was the last time you saw them?” Brian wanted to know.

 

“A couple of months ago,” Justin admitted, “But these are the holidays, Sweetheart.”

 

“I know.  That’s my point,” Brian told him, “Then what?”

 

“Then at 12:30 we have to be at your mother’s,” Justin went on.  “She’s going to Clare’s for dinner so if you don’t see her then, you won’t get to see her on Thanksgiving, unless we cancel Debby’s and go to Clare’s with her.”

 

“So you think the best way to comfort a guy is to threaten him?” Brian interjected, but Justin thought Brian was looking just a bit cheerier, so he continued.

 

“And at 4:00 we get to Debby’s for the big dinner with all the gang.  You’ll like that Brian, you really will,” Justin assured him.

 

“If I have to enjoy myself I guess I will but I won’t like doing it,” Brian groused, “Anything else I should be thankful for?”

 

Oh yeah,” Justin told him, “You know Emmett tried to take over the dinner and he wanted everybody to come dressed like Pilgrims, but Debby shot him down.  Aren’t you thankful you don’t have to go around on Thanksgiving dressed like a pilgrim?”  Justin sat down on Brian’s lap at this point, smiling at him seductively and putting his arm around Brian’s neck.

 

“Actually,” Justin whispered in his ear, “I’ve seen you in funnier costumes than a pilgrim’s outfit.”  
  
Brian responded by getting up and it was Justin who ended up rolling on the floor this time.

 

“What was that for, Brian?” he demanded.

 

“Just a little role reversal,” Brian answered.  But they were both laughing again.

 

Brian appeared to have mellowed out during dinner and each of them had some things to do afterward.  They worked separately but they were never so far apart that either one of them could not look up from his work to smile at the other one.

 

Later in the evening, they sat in their usual places in front of the fireplace.  It was longer than usual before their silence was broken.

 

“Honey, I can be a real grouch sometimes.” Brian opened the conversation. 

 

“I know,” Justin replied.

 

“But I really do love you,” Brian went on.

 

“I know,” Justin told him.

 

“OK, you’re mad at me and I guess I deserve it.  I know it’s not you’re fault and I shouldn’t blame you because we have things we have to do during the holidays,” Brian admitted.

 

“Oh Bri,” Justin told him, leaning in closer to him, “I’m not mad at you.  I could never be mad at you, at least not for very long.  It’s just that I’m an egotist and a brat, as well as a realist.”

 

“I don’t want you to change one bit, Baby.  I want you just like you are,” Brian said.  Then he demanded, “Now say it.” 

 

“Say what?” Justin asked.”

 

“Say it,” Brian ordered.

 

“I love you Brian,” Justin told him.

 

“That’s enough for me to be thankful for,” Brian said to Justin, “That’s enough.”

 

“You never can get enough,” Justin whispered.

 

“Yes you can,” Brian disagreed.

 

“Now that’s really role reversal,” Justin thought to himself but wisely chose not to say.  So he allowed Brian to have the last word, and that was role reversal too.


	48. Chapter 48 - Christmas Shopping

“Can you do without me for a couple of hours Saturday morning?” Justin was asking Brian early one Thursday evening in the loft, “I have something I promised to do.” 

“Maybe I can do it with you,” Brian volunteered, “And then I won’t have to do without you for that couple of hours on Saturday morning.   I’m free as far as I know.”

 

“Well, Honey,” Justin told him, “Christmas is coming pretty soon and Michael and Ben want to get their Christmas shopping finished early.  They’ve asked me to go along as a consultant.  They think I can help.  Some people recognize my talents, you know?”

 

“They can’t have it both ways,” Brian replied.

 

“Now, as they say on the soap operas and sitcoms,” Justin scowled, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

 

“Baby, you’re the greatest guy in the world and I love you,” Brian tried to explain, “And you’re a great Christmas shopper, too.  But you are not going to let them buy anything on Saturday morning.  No matter what they decide, you’ll convince them to hold out for something better.  They’ll still be looking a few days before Christmas and they’ll probably end up with the thing they wanted to buy on Saturday, if they can still find it.”

 

“Brian, you’re lucky I know you’re kidding or my feelings could be really hurt,” Justin suppressed a smile as he responded, “And if my feelings get hurt, you just might have to do your own Christmas shopping this year.”

 

“You would never abandon me in my hour of need,” Brian shot back, “I’m not that lucky.”

 

“Brian,” Justin appealed to reason, “You know that I use Christmas shopping to get me into the Christmas spirit.  Even if Mikey and Ben don’t buy any gifts on Saturday, they will come home with the real Christmas spirit.  I’ll see to that.”

 

“They’ll join a great number of people who got their Christmas spirit from shopping with you,” Brian laughed, “Let’s see.  First there was Ebenezer Scrooge.  And then there was the Grinch.”

 

“Cut it out, Brian,” Justin laughed back at him, “Quit trying to ruin Christmas for me before it even gets here.  Actually maybe you should come with us.  I’m sure Mikey and Ben won’t mind.  And it won’t hurt you to get some Christmas spirit early this year.  You might be easier to live with.”

 

“I’m sorry, Honey,” Brian reconsidered, “But there is something I have to do Saturday morning.  I just remembered.  I’d really love to go with you guys but I can’t.”

 

“And just what is this important thing you have to do?” Justin asked, “If I’m not prying.”

 

“You know I don’t have any secrets from you, Sweetheart.  I have to wash the car,” Brian told him.

 

“You never wash the car, Honey,” Justin countered, still smiling.

 

“That’s why it needs to be washed, Baby,” Brian pointed out.

 

“You are impossible, Brian Kinney,” Justin complained.

 

“Well seeing that I am so impossible,” Brian thought, “I wonder why you keep trying so hard?”

 

“Oh Brian,” Justin said in reply, “I can handle the impossible.  You should know that by now.  It just takes me a little more time and effort, but you know I never give up.”

 

“Yeah,” Brian agreed, “I do know that.”

 

Now that gave Brian the last word in the discussion, at least for then, but since Justin was satisfied with what that last word was, he allowed the discussion to go dormant at that point.  After all, it wasn’t Saturday morning yet.

 

The next couple of hours found Justin and Brian working on separate projects which needed to be taken care of.  Brian was looking over some proposals for work and Justin was finishing off some important preliminary sketches for school.

 

When Justin noticed however that the fireplace was lit and that Brian was sitting on the floor gazing at it, the sketches suddenly became much less important and he quickly got himself down on the floor next to Brian.  Brian’s arm curled around Justin and Justin’s head slipped down onto Brian’s shoulder and all was well with the world.  Almost!

 

It had become customary for the first several minutes together in front of the fireplace to be without conversation and so it was that Thursday night.  It was certain though that the shopping trip would come up, and it did.

 

“I don’t think you should come shopping with us on Saturday, Brian,” Justin eventually announced.

 

“Am I suddenly not welcome?” Brian responded, “Or do you somehow think that just maybe I don’t want to go?”

 

“Neither one of those,” Justin told him, “I just think it is more important that you go on Tuesday evening when Linz and Mel and I are going shopping for Gus’ Christmas stuff.  You really should be there for that and in better spirits than you will be if you get all grumpy on Saturday.”

 

“I guess I don’t get the whole story at once,” Brian smiled, “When do Ted and Emmett get the benefit of your help, and maybe mine too if you drag me along with you?”

 

“Thursday,” Justin admitted, “But it never entered my mind that you would come along.  I don’t recall even saying that I wanted you to come on Saturday with Mikey and Ben or on Thursday with Ted and Emmett.”

 

“I guess I’m going to have the cleanest car in Pittsburgh,” Brian told Justin, “Or maybe I’ll just head over to Babylon while you are out shopping.  It probably wouldn’t be worth it though to get a new boy-friend just for the one week.”

 

“That is not going to work, Sweetheart,” Justin responded, “Wash your car as many times as you want to; go to Babylon if you want to.  You would have to get a new boy-friend for the whole Christmas season and you couldn’t stand to be away from me for that long.”

 

“Maybe not,” Brian agreed, “But if I wanted to try, Christmas shopping season would be the right time.  With all your shopping, you probably wouldn’t miss me at all.”

 

“Brian,” Justin laughed, “You are impossible, but I guess it’s my fault for spoiling you so badly.  Sweetheart, you are at least as important to me as Christmas shopping.”

 

“Damned if you can’t say the most romantic things when you have a mind to,” Brian replied as he tousled Justin’s hair just a little bit.

 

“So you are going to come on Saturday then, I suppose,” Justin remarked, “I’m surprised.”

 

“I’m not,” Brian told him, “I told Mikey the day before yesterday when he told me you guys were going shopping on Saturday that I would probably be there too.”

 

“You knew,” Justin said, “You knew and you didn’t tell me.  You put me through all that aggravation when you knew you were coming all along.  Why would you do such a thing to me?”

 

“Because I knew you enjoyed cajoling me into doing something you think I don’t want to do almost as much as you like Christmas shopping.  I know you pretty well, Baby, and I wouldn’t ever deprive you of that pleasure,” Brian explained.

 

“A lot you know about me, Mr. Kinney,” Justin responded, “I like cajoling you, or anything with you, a lot better than Christmas shopping.  So there.”

 

Brian moved over and kissed the twink.  “It’s good to know where I stand,” he told him.  “But I want you to know you don’t have me under your thumb.  I think for myself   I’ll probably buy something on Saturday.”

 

“Go ahead and ruin the whole trip for everybody?” Justin joked, “Maybe you should just stay here and wash the car.”


	49. Chapter 49 - The Hunter

Justin was bent over the desk in the loft, shuffling several papers in front of him.  Brian came up behind him and threw his arms around the twink, but Brian was disappointed first by the lack of response, and then by the response itself when it came. 

“Brian,” Justin said, “I’m busy, and if you can’t be of help, at least don’t bother me while I’m working.”

 

“You don’t usually mind my bothering you when you’re working,” Brian came back at him, sounding a bit disappointed to Justin.

 

“I’m sorry, Honey,” Justin turned to Brian, “You’re the most important thing in the world to me, you know that, but Christmas is coming, and presents need to be bought, and I have these lists, and you don’t want to help, so I have to do it all by myself, and time’s running out.”

 

“You lead a hard life,” Brian sympathized with a tinge of maybe fake sarcasm, “I’m so hard to get along with.”

 

“Not that hard to get along with,” Justin smiled at him, “Just unreasonable some of the time, which makes you all the more lovable.  But these gifts are going to be signed ‘From Brian and Justin,’ and there aren’t going to be any gifts if I can’t work on the list.”

 

“Why don’t you just sign them ‘From Justin who did all the work and Brian who kept him from getting the work done’?” Brian grouched, “Then the world will know how miserable and useless I am.”

 

“Don’t try to lay a guilt trip on me, Kinney,” Justin ordered. “Pull up a chair next to me and put your arm around me and speak when you’re spoken to, or whenever you have something useful to say.  Then when we get all these lists finished, we’ll do whatever you want to do.  But not before.  Get it.”

 

“Where did you learn to be no ornery?” Brian asked as he did what he was told, deciding it was not such a bad deal after all.

 

“From the master,” Justin laughed as he moved over and kissed Brian, “who is a great teacher.”

 

“Well you learned pretty well,” Brian admitted, “You’re a good student.  What do you want me to do?”

 

“I have a lot of the people done but I still have some I’m not sure about.” Justin told him, “That’s what we have to work on.  Let’s start with an easy one.  Hunter.  Do you have any ideas about what we can give Hunter?”

 

“What does he want?” Brian wondered.

 

“That’s not a good way to phrase the question, Honey.  I know what he wants all right, but he’s not going to get what he wants,” Justin laughed, “He wants you, Brian, and that’s the one thing he is absolutely not going to get.  And don’t make some smart remark, either.  You’re supposed to be helping.”

 

“We could get him a sweater,” Brian suggested, “A heavy sweater to wear while he’s skating.  Maybe something in a light blue.  I think that would be a good color for Hunter.  Show off his eyes.”

 

“Brian,” Justin growled, “Don’t look at me.  What color are my eyes?”

 

“Different colors,” Brian told him after just a moment’s hesitation, “Depending on the mood you’re in.”

 

“Well what color are they when I am getting mad?” Justin asked, “Because that’s the color they are likely to be right now.  You have never suggested a color for me.  What color would show off my eyes?”

 

“Right now I think probably a fiery green,” Brian teased, “Because I get a feeling that you’re a little bit jealous.”

 

“I am not jealous,” Justin replied, “I am aggravated.  Unfortunately, getting aggravated with you makes me love you all the more, and I think you know that, and you’re trying to bait me, and you are baiting me, and it’s working, and I am getting mad at you.”  
  
”You must get the master to teach you about run-on sentences some time,” Brian told Justin, “I’m sure that would be useful.”

 

“Dammit, Brian,” Justin raised his voice ever so subtly, “I quit.  Everybody who hasn’t had a present already selected is going to get a sweater, and you can go and get them, and you can decide what color flatters their eyes.  And I wanted to get Mikey an artifact from Africa.  That’s what he would really like and now, thanks to you, he’ll get a sweater.”

 

“Instead of a duck from Quack, I suppose,” Brian surmised, “But that’s his loss and poor Mikey will never know what he missed.”

 

“All right, Sweetheart,” Justin said to him, repaying Brian’s earlier maybe fake sarcasm, “Now that you have destroyed any possibility of my getting nice presents for our friends, what have you in mind to do?”

 

Brian had a lot of suggestions.  Justin decided they didn’t sound like such a bad deal after all, and Brian was pleased that he had pulled the little twink away from his compulsive Christmas gift selection process.  Actually, Brian complimented himself on how easy it had been – the old master at his best.

 

It was pretty late that evening when the exhausted pair settled themselves in front of the fireplace.  They had their quiet time before Justin said to Brian. “Honey, I’m off tomorrow and you’re working, so if you don’t mind, maybe I’ll take another look at that Christmas present list tomorrow.  That won’t be too late.”

 

“OK with me,” Brian agreed, “Sorry I can’t be here to help.”

 

“Oh Sweetheart,” Justin said, “You have already helped.  Hunter will get a sweater just like you suggested, but probably in a pale green or gray, if you don’t mind.”

 

“You don’t want to flatter his eyes, I see,” Brian commented, “Hunter is no competition for you, Baby, so you don’t need to worry about that.  You’re in a class by yourself.  And maybe Mikey could still get a bird from Tweet, too   That would be nice.”

 

“I’m not worried about Hunter, Dearie.  Just the opposite.” Justin pointed out, “The light blue you suggested would clash with Hunter’s eyes.  It’s green or gray that will complement them.  You have no idea what color Hunter’s eyes are.  I don’t want to run-on, but I do also want to say that you have never bought me anything which was not a perfect color for me, so subconsciously you know all about me even if your he-man consciousness doesn’t know what it knows.”

 

“Well then,” Brian asked in wonderment, “Why did you let me get to you like you did? Why did you quit working on your list?  Why didn’t you just yell at me and make me help you finish?”

 

“I love you Brian,” Justin stated, “And I figured if you would go to those lengths to get me away from my list, I could always go back to it tomorrow.”

 

“Well then just who seduced who?” Brian sputtered.

 

“Hard to say, Sweetheart,” Justin responded, “Sometimes the hunter becomes the hunted.  It’s the law of the jungle.”

 

“You are an absolutely lovable rat, Justin Taylor,” Brian told him.  “You beat me at my own game, I think.”

 

“I don’t think so, Honey, but I did learn from the master,” Justin allowed.

 

“Sometimes the student gets better than the teacher,” Brian mused. 

 

“I guess sometimes, but isn’t that actually a compliment to the teacher,” Justin answered.  Then he put his arms around Brian’s neck and kissed him.  “I love you, Brian Kinney,” he said, “Merry Christmas.”

 

Brian couldn’t figure out if he had won or lost, but by then he didn’t care.  He was the happiest he had ever been in his life and that suited Brian fine.


	50. Chapter 50 - O Christmas Tree

“Sunshine,” Brian laughed, “That is the ugliest excuse for a Christmas tree I have ever seen.  Where the hell did you pick that up?” 

“It was at that lot down the street where the volunteer firemen are selling real trees,” Justin replied.  “They were going to throw it out, I think, so they sold it to me for fifty cents.”

 

“A fool and his money are soon parted,” Brian exclaimed, “With your artist’s eye, I hope you can see that it’s less than three feet tall, the trunk is bent and it only has about  ten branches on it.  I don’t know how it even got onto the lot.  You got gypped, Sweetheart.  I’ll bet Mikey was with you and helped you pick it?”

 

“Well it’s a Christmas tree, isn’t it,” Justin defended himself, “And it will look nice when I get done with it. You don’t mind if I keep it and add it to our display, do you?  I want to.”

 

“Baby,” Brian concluded, “Thanks for asking me, but if you want to keep that thing, there is nothing in the world I could do to get rid of it.  I think you know that as well as I do.”  He put his arm around the twink and made the kid himself light up when he continued, “And there is nothing in the world I would want to do to get rid of it, if you wanted it.  I think you know that as well as I do too.”

 

Brian felt Justin quivering in his arms so he tried to get things back to normal.  “How many times have you watched that Charlie Brown Christmas special, Baby,” Brian teased, “I’m sure that’s where you got the idea for saving that weird piece of greenery.”

 

“I watched it every year from the time I was a little kid until I moved in here with big old  bad unsentimental Brian Kinney,” Justin responded, “And I should have watched it last year too, but I was still afraid then that you’d laugh at me.  I’m interested in animation, you know.”

 

“You did watch it last year,” Brian remembered, “You thought I was asleep and you watched it.  You even clapped at the end.  Probably because the animation was so good.  I had to pretend I was asleep because if I were awake, I would have had to laugh at you, and I didn’t want to laugh at you.  You’re so cute when you’re just a little kid.”

 

“You say I’m always just a little kid,” Justin shot back.

 

“So?” Brian wanted to know, “I stand by my statement.

 

What Brian had said made Justin feel that maybe Christmas had already arrived, but he could still see a problem with the new tree.  “Where can we put it, I wonder?” Justin asked. 

 

“Seeing as you have our eight foot artificial tree, which I must say looks like a tree, already half filling up the loft,” Brian saw the problem, “And all those other decorations up all over the rest of the place, I can’t say as I know where you’re going to put it, but you’ll find a place.  The loft is beautiful, Honey, You’ve done a great decorating job, but the place is already more Christmassy than Kaufmann’s Department Store.”

 

“Gus is coming, Brian,” Justin told him, “Your son is coming, and I want him to have the best Christmas display ever.”

 

“Well your new tree will cap the display for sure,” Brian laughed as he took a second look at Justin’s prize.

 

“Only God can make a real tree, Brian” Justin insisted, “I read that somewhere and I believe it.”

 

“Some woman poet,” Brian assured him.  “But, Sunshine, doesn’t God make artificial trees too?  I think he does his best work with artificial trees.”

 

“I love you, Brian. I always will, but, Honey, there are times when you are no help and even a bit of a pain,” Justin said as he smiled at Brian.

 

“OK, I’m helping,” Brian said as he picked up the new tree and held it at arms length.  “I’ll put it wherever you decide.  But, I still have to say you aren’t the best picker in the world.”  Brian was laughing.  So was Justin.

 

“I knew that from the time I picked you, Sweetheart,” Justin told him, “But I’m going to make this tree into exactly what I want, just like I did with you.  So there.”

 

“Shit,” Brian exclaimed, “That is scary.”

 

Justin found a spot for the tree and went to work on it.  Brian stayed out of it but he was impressed with the young artist’s work.  He often marveled at Justin’s talent and sometimes he even told Justin.  If Brian would have had to comment on how Justin had transformed the monstrosity into a not-so-bad looking Christmas tree, he would have had to be complimentary.  What he did though, as Justin was finishing up, was to light the fireplace, and get himself into position on the floor.

 

Justin noticed him there and the final touches to the tree were hurried a little, and soon Justin was next to Brian on the floor in front of the fake fireplace.  They always spent some quiet time there before they started on whatever was to be the topic of conversation.  Then something that was very unusual happened.  The doorbell rang.  There had been a time when Justin and Brian were interrupted almost every time they were doing something together, but that had not been the case lately so they were both surprised.

 

“Who the hell?” Brian asked.

 

“I don’t have any idea,” Justin answered as he moved toward the door to answer it.  It was Mikey.

 

“Sorry to bother you guys,” Mikey said after noticing the not-so-welcoming look on Brian’s face.  Then he turned to Justin and said “I just had to stop by to see how the old Grinch here reacted to that little tree we picked out.  Then looking around, he spotted the now decorated tree.  “That’s beautiful, Justin,” Mikey told him, “You really are a Boy Wonder.”  Then he turned back to Brian and said, “Well, what do you think, Old Grinch?”

 

Brian did not want to laugh.  He tried not to laugh.  He tried hard.  But nevertheless he laughed.  Eventually he was able to tell Michael, “I love the little tree and I love the little twink – my own personal Charlie Brown.  But as talented as he is, I don’t believe he could have found that particular tree without your help.”

 

“Well he knows I’m always ready to help,” Mikey responded, “Just like he knows you aren’t.”  Then turning to Justin he said, ”Boy Wonder, as good a job as you did with that tree, I think you did a better job with the Old Grinch here.  I never thought I’d ever see him really laugh – and act like he enjoyed anything – much less Christmas.  You are the best thing that ever happened to Brian.”

 

Michael turned to leave but Brian had a question to ask,” When’s the Charlie Brown Christmas special on this year, Mikey?”

 

“Next Tuesday at 8:00.  It’s always on at eight on a Tuesday.  Don’t you know anything?” Michael told him.  Then turning to Justin, Mikey asked him, “You still coming over to our place to watch it?”

 

“I don’t think I need to,” Justin explained, “The Old Grinch here wants to see it too so maybe we’ll just stay here and watch.  Can I bring him along if I come?  He’s interested in animation like I am.” 

 

“If you can keep him in a Christmas spirit, he’d be welcome – and I’m sure you can, Kid,” Michael said as he departed.

 

When they got themselves back into their usual positions watching the electric flames dart here and there, Justin began the conversation in a very strange way to begin a conversation.  “Don’t say anything, Brian,” he warned.

 

“OK,” Brian replied, “There isn’t anything I need to say.  Go ahead and talk.  It’ll be interesting just to sit here and listen to what you have to say to yourself.”

 

“Well what would you say if you were allowed to say something, Old Grinch?” Justin laughed.

 

“I’d say that I used to like the Charlie Brown Christmas special when I was a little kid, and please don’t say something about how television isn’t that old.” Brian confessed, “If you ever tell anybody what I’m telling you now, your life and limb will be in jeopardy, Sunshine.  I always dreamed of doing what Charlie Brown did – going out and saving a Christmas tree.”

 

“You know what, Honey,” Justin replied, putting his arm around Brian, “You’re really cute when you’re a little kid.  Really, really cute.  So I made that dream of yours finally come true for you, did I?” 

 

“You made all my dreams come true for me, Boy Wonder,” Brian told him.  “Every single one of them.”

 

Christmas had really come early for Justin Taylor.


	51. Chapter 51 - Christmas Eve

“There has to be some catch to this,” Brian said as he lit the fireplace and sat down on the floor to watch it.  “We don’t have any place we have to go and it’s Christmas Eve.” 

“I hope you’re not disappointed, Honey,” Justin told him, “It’s just that you keep saying we don’t get enough time alone together at the holidays and so I tried to arrange this for us.”

 

“You know it’s what I want.  And like everything else you try to do, you succeeded,” Brian told him.  “I’m glad I know you, Mr. Taylor.”

 

“Likewise I’m very sure, Mr. Kinney,” Justin answered as he got himself located very close to Brian on the floor in front of the fireplace.  “It’s been a busy season already, and we still have tomorrow to get through, so I’m glad we have tonight all to ourselves.”

 

“I kind of like the visiting around on Christmas Day, Brian,” Justin went on, “I’ll be glad to see our families and friends but the best thing will be the trip to Children’s Hospital.”

 

“You better hope that Molly doesn’t grow up to be like Clare,” Brian mused, “But she doesn’t show any signs of that yet and Clare was already a bitch when she was Molly’s age.”

 

“Don’t you think you could try to warm up to Clare a little bit,” Justin wondered, “In the spirit of the holiday season.  Maybe if you would just make the first move….”

 

“If you want to break your record of success in doing things you want to do,” Brian replied, “Keep pushing on that button, Baby.  I can’t see it happening ever – holiday season or not.”

 

“Well she’s letting the boys go with us to Children’s Hospital tomorrow,” Justin protested, “Isn’t that a start, maybe?”

 

“She doesn’t like anybody, Sweetheart,” Brian insisted, “Not even her kids.  She’s glad we’re taking an interest in them because it gets them away from her for a while.  And I know it’s good for the kids.  Even my mother says the kids are a lot better since they’ve been spending some time with us.”

 

“You are really a great guy, Brian,” Justin told him.

 

“Well don’t spread that word around, Baby,” Brian told him back, “I have my reputation to keep up, you know.”

 

“I’m afraid it’s too late for that, Honey,” Justin informed him, “Everybody knows what a good guy you are now.  Your reputation, as you pretend you like to think of it, is dead as a doornail.”

 

“And whose fault is that?” Brian wanted to know.

 

“I’m not taking the blame,” Justin defended himself, “You were a really good guy before I ever met you, only nobody knew it then.  Everything that happened since is a kind of a coincidence.”

 

“Nothing with you involved is ever a coincidence, Baby,” Brian countered, “I bet you’re even behind Debbie coming with us to the hospital tomorrow.  Who in hell ever heard of Mother Christmas?”

 

“Oh no, Brian,” Justin insisted, “I swear I had nothing to do with that.  That was Daphne and Debbie.  They were talking one day last month at the diner and then it happened – Mother Christmas was born.”

“And so I repeat,” Brian said, “Who the hell is Mother Christmas?”

 

Justin laughed at him.  “Brian, if we resort to history, we know that nobody knew about Santa Claus until the eighteen-hundreds.  Now look how big Santa Claus is.  Maybe in a hundred years or so, Mother Christmas will be just as important as Santa Claus,” he told Brian.

 

“And we will have been part of it,” Brian laughed too.  “Well, as long as Debbie doesn’t try to make Mother Christmas as important as Santa Claus tomorrow.”

 

What did you like best about the Christmas season so far, Brian?” Justin decided to get the discussion away from Mother Christmas.  “I’ll bet it was the shopping.”

 

“No,” Brian responded after a moment’s thought, “Of course I enjoyed every single long hour of every single long shopping trip.  You know that.  But I think the best time was last night when Gus was here.”

 

“I thought that’s what you’d say.  I watched your face the whole time and I’ve never seen you look so happy,” Justin said, “And what was the best part of Gus’ visit for you?”

 

“If you spent the whole night watching my face, you missed some good stuff, Baby.  All right, you’re fishing for compliments and I guess you deserve some. Just don’t make a habit of it.” Brian gave in, “I liked the way Gus especially loved your damn Charlie Brown tree.  He liked it because it was his own size.  He said the big tree was our tree, and he figured Santa Claus had left that little one for him.  He’s too young to see what an ugly tree it was.”

 

“But he’ll learn, won’t he, Brian,” Justin mused, “As he grows older, he’ll learn.  We can’t save him from that.”  
  
Brian put both arms around the kid. “You’re a good man, Charlie Brown,” he told him

 

Brian pulled a small package from his pocket and presented it to Justin.  “I want you to open this.”

 

“Brian, we decided to exchange gifts on Christmas morning,” Justin objected.

 

“This isn’t a Christmas gift,” Brian insisted, “And I want you to open it now, no matter what you decided about when we’ll exchange gifts.”

 

Justin was pleased to oblige so he opened the package, and tears came rolling down his cheeks.  “They’re rings, Brian, the most beautiful rings I’ve ever seen,” he said, “What a great symbol of our friendship.  I think I’m going to cry.”

 

“Too late on that score, Baby,” Brian responded, “And if you think they’re just friendship rings after what they cost, I think I’m going to cry too.  Look at the inscription inside.”

 

Justin nervously fingered one of the rings.  “It says ‘Brian loves Justin now and always.’”

 

“That one’s yours,” Brian told him.  “Mine reads ‘Justin loves Brian now and always.’ You have to decide when we put them on.  It can be now or anytime you pick, that is, if you want to wear them at all.”

 

“Now,” Justin told him very quickly, “Right now and always, just like the inscription says.”

 

“OK then,” Brian answered, “Slip mine on my finger.”

 

“Brian, a ring on that finger means….” Justin kind of stammered.

 

“You never do anything without a lot of talk, do you?” Brian complained.  So Justin happily did as he was told, and Brian returned the favor.  Justin grabbed Brian tight enough to surprise even Brian, and they clung together as the voices of some carolers outside wafted into the loft.

 

“This is perfect,” Justin said.  “The carolers are the perfect thing to go with this moment.”

 

The surprises of the evening were not yet over though.  Brian and Justin sat with some apprehension as the carolers seemed to draw nearer.  Ebenezer Scrooge had no more dread when Jacob Marley’s ghost came up his stairs than did Justin and Brian as the carolers seemed to mount theirs.  And they were equally surprised when the loft door slid open and the carolers trouped in.

 

There were Emmett, Ted, Michael, Ben, Hunter, Mel, Lindsay, Vic, and Debbie, fully decked out as Mother Christmas.  They were singing “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen” to two gentlemen, who were neither resting nor particularly merry just then.

 

Michael hurried to Brian’s side.  “I’m sorry,” he told Brian.  “I know you were going to show Justin the rings tonight, but I couldn’t stop them.  My mother wanted you to see her Mother Christmas outfit and when my mother wants something she gets it.  I’ll get them out of here fast and then you can do your stuff with the rings.”

 

Brian showed Michael his hand.  “Too late?” Mikey presumed.

 

“Too much,” Brian answered, “Too late.”

 

Emmett was in the process of explaining to Justin, and Brian too, if he was listening, that nobody should be alone on Christmas Eve and that’s why they had come.  Debbie was modeling her costume with the elegance of a Givenchy fashion show.  It was Hunter, who correctly sized up the situation.  “These guys were in the middle of something,” he said, “We should get our asses out of here.”  Strangely enough, Hunter prevailed.  After just one chorus of “Joy to the World” the carolers filed out of the loft and left Brian and Justin alone on Christmas Eve.  Hunter winked at Justin as they left, and that was the beginning of more friendly relations between the two of them.

 

“Oh Brian, that was awful,” Justin declared, “How could they come in and disturb the greatest moment of my life?”

 

“As you grow older, you’ll learn about the ugly parts of life, Baby.  I can’t protect you from that.” Brian told him.  Justin smiled so Brian tried to lighten up the situation.  “And your record is broken too,” He added, “For once, things didn’t go exactly as you planned them.”

 

“Well,” Justin replied in kind, “If I don’t have to worry about my perfect record any more, then it’s safe for me to try to get you and Clare to be friends.”

 

“That’s an ugly thought,” Brian complained.

 

“As you grow older, Honey,” Justin smiled at him, “You’ll find there are ugly things in life.  I can’t protect you from all of them.”

 

“Merry Christmas, Twink,” Brian said to him.  “Merry Christmas, Bri” Justin told him back. 


	52. Chapter 52 - New Year's Eve-nts

“New Year’s Eve is coming up, Sunshine,” Brian said, “Do you have any plans?” 

“Oh yes,” Justin replied, “I have a date with this great guy.  He’s my dream guy actually.  I’m in love with him.  We made this date last year and we have one for next year too.”

 

“And where will you be when the clock strikes twelve?” Brian wanted to know.

 

“In the most romantic spot in the world, that’s where,” Justin told him, “The one place I’d rather be than any place else in the world.  The absolutely perfect place to spend New Year’s Eve.”

 

“Does this place have an address or any other descriptive information?” Brian asked.

 

“Sure,” came the reply, “Anywhere he is.  He hasn’t told me where yet.”

 

“You must have been sniffing something, Honey,” Brian concluded, “And I thought you quit that stuff.  But now it’s time to smell the coffee.  You know damn well we’re going to go where you want to go and I probably won’t be allowed any opinion at all.”

 

“Boy, Brian,” Justin complained, “You sure know how to throw cold water on a person’s castle in the air.”

 

“Yeah,” Brian agreed, “It’s an ugly job but somebody’s got to do it.  So where are we going?”

 

“I thought maybe to the party at Linz and Mel’s,” Justin suggested, “The whole gang will be there, I think, and you can kiss your son ‘Happy New Year,’ right after you kiss me.”

 

“Can I kiss Mikey ‘Happy New Year’ too?” Brian teased.

 

“Sure, what’s wrong with a kiss between two old friends,” Justin answered, “As long as I’m watching and you both know I’m watching.  But I don’t think you should kiss Ben.  He’s hot.”

 

“So much for Mikey,” Brian laughed, “What about Hunter?”

 

“Don’t try it, Brian,” Justin threatened him, “You have already succeeded in sinking my dreamboat.  Don’t rub it in.”

 

“I think maybe you’re mixing metaphors, Sweetheart,” Brian said.

 

“Brian,” Justin pouted, “I’ve been accused unjustly of a lot of things in my life but I’ve never been so hurt as I am now, being accused of mixing metaphors.  And just what, may I ask, is a metaphor anyhow?”

 

“How the hell should I know?” Brian responded.

 

“Then don’t go around tossing out accusations willy-nilly.” Justin warned him

 

“Sweetheart,” Brian informed him, “This friend of mine has a private jet and he’s taking a small group up to New York, flying up on New Year’s Eve and coming back late on New Year’s Day.  He’s saving two seats for us in case you’d like to go.  That way it would be just the two of us together in Times Square when 2004 comes in.”

 

“Just the two of us,” Justin pointed out, “And a million or so of our most intimate strangers.”

 

“You wouldn’t have to worry about who I kiss,” Brian told him.

 

“Ha,” Justin replied, “You’d probably sneak Hunter into the crowd somehow.”

 

“OK, so it’s Linz and Mel’s for New Year’s Eve with the same boring crowd as always,” Brian complained.

 

“If that’s what you want,” Justin answered, “It’s all right with me.”

 

“That’s what I want,” Brian gave up, “Who wouldn’t want to be in the most romantic spot in the world, the absolutely perfect place to spend New Year’s Eve – that would be any place with you.”

 

“I really love it, Honey,” Justin replied, “When you get romantic and talk mushy.  You certainly can think up the most wonderful things to say.  I wish I had your talent for always coming up with just the right words.”

 

It should be pointed out that Brian and Justin did not always act like lunatics.  Separately they were always sane, and even together when there were others present.  However, it was still just the two of them a few hours later when they sat down in front of the fake fireplace.

 

Justin started the conversation.  “Brian,” he said, “I’m glad you decided that you wanted to spend New Year’s Eve at Linz and Mel’s with our friends.”

 

“And I’m glad,” Brian replied, “That you were willing to give up the trip to New York City so that I could do that. The important thing, Baby, is that we will be together, not where we are or who we’re with.”

 

“That is such a sweet way to put it,” Justin purred and the subject of where to spend New Year’s Eve was irrevocably determined.

 

There was peace and quiet in the loft for a good while before Justin pulled a sheet of paper from his shirt pocket.  “Brian,” he said, “I have a list of New Year’s resolutions here.  Want to know what they are?”

 

Maybe not,” Brian answered, “You know, Honey, it might be better if I didn’t know.  Your record time for keeping your resolutions is no later than January 5 as I remember, and last year you blamed me for tempting you into breaking all of your resolutions.  If I don’t know what they are, I can’t tempt you into breaking them.  But I’ll find out what they are when I notice all the new improvements in your behavior.”

 

“We really do think alike,” Justin told him, “I had already decided not to tell you my New Year’s resolutions, and for the same reasons that you just mentioned.”

 

“Well what’s this list then?” Brian wanted to know.

 

“I guess I didn’t make myself clear, Sweetheart.  These resolutions are for you, “ Justin told him, “You said you were too busy to make any resolutions so I made some up for you.”

 

“For me?” Brian asked.

 

“Yeah,” Justin said, “It’s fun to have New Year’s resolutions and I didn’t want you not to have any just because you were so busy.  Wanna look them over?”

 

“OK Baby,” Brian suggested, “But let me offer you an alternative.  We can go over my resolutions or instead of that, I could pull you up on my lap and we could hug and kiss and whatever for the rest of the evening.

 

Justin got up from the floor, walked over to the waste basket, and to Brian’s apparent great relief, threw the now crumpled paper away.  Then he bounced back and plopped himself into Brian’s lap.  “Let’s try it your way,” he told Brian.

 

“Well it’s about time we did something my way, “ Brian gloated,  “Maybe 2004 will be the year when I really do get to be boss around here.  This is a good beginning with you doing what I want for a change.”

 

“Hey Brian,” Justin whispered, “You know that paper I just threw away.”  

 

“Yeah,” Brian answered guardedly.

 

“It was blank.” Justin told him.

 

“That’s what I thought,” Brian responded, “You are repeating your tricks, Honey, and I’m finally catching on.  I’m ‘onto’ you now, although I still wonder why you think you have to trick me into doing what I want to do in the first place.”

 

Justin did not answer immediately but his brain went into high gear, so while they were actually doing other things, Justin was subconsciously reviewing the situation.

 

“Brian Kinney,” he said after some of this subconscious thought, “You never wanted to go to New York for New Year’s Eve, did you?  You always wanted to go spend New Year’s Eve here with the gang.  I’ll bet there never was a jet to New York at all.  You were just trying to beat me at my own game, weren’t you?”

 

“You’ll never know,” Brian smiled at him.

 

“We’ll just see about that,” Justin warned him, “I’m going to make a New Year’s resolution to find out.”

 

“Well, I’ll admit that’s something for me to worry about,” Brian told him, “At least until January 5.”


	53. Chapter 53 - Bored Games

“Brian,” Justin was saying with obvious irritation, “I don’t know why you can’t be nicer.” 

“There are some things a guy can’t change,” Brian defended himself, “I warned you.”

 

“Well a person can always hope,” Justin declared.

 

“Baby, I told you not to bring a chess set into this loft.  I told you I was a good chess player, “ Brian answered, “I told you I played on a championship college team, I told you I was fiercely competitive, and I told you I always played to win.  And all that wasn’t enough.”

 

“You didn’t tell me it took you an hour for every move though,” Justin retorted, “Playing with you is just plain boring.”

 

“I don’t take an hour for each move,” Brian took the offensive, “I don’t even take five minutes.  Chess is a complicated game and you need patience.  I have patience. You have to explore many possibilities before you make your move.”

 

“Then how come I can move in just a few seconds?” Justin wondered.

 

“Honey,” Brian smiled at him, “You’re mad enough at me now.  I don’t need to answer that question.”

 

“Well Mikey and I can get through ten games in two hours and you and I can barely finish one.” Justin maintained,   “That’s just plain boring.”

 

“Well you and Mikey are evenly matched, I guess,” Brian said with a kind of amusement that did not amuse Justin at all, “Who usually wins?”

 

“I always win,” Justin pointed out, “Mikey has never beaten me yet.”

 

“And how many times have you beaten me?” Brian asked.

 

“You know very well I have never beaten you,” Justin responded, “But don’t think that’s what I’m complaining about.  It’s just so boring waiting for you to move.”

 

“You should be studying the board like I am,” Brian counseled him.

 

“Why should I be studying the board when it’s your turn to move?  You would just make some weird move and foul up all my plans,” Justin whined, “You take all the fun out of the game, Kinney.”

 

“Well if you insist on playing chess, Sweetheart,” Brian decided, “We can do it with Ben and Mikey.  I can play Ben a game while you and Mikey play your ten or twenty.  That way everybody can be happy.  How does that sound?”

 

“I want to play with you, Brian.  You don’t seem to understand my point,” Justin argued, “I want to play with you.  You’re not listening to me so I’ll just put the chess set away.  Maybe we can talk about this when you are more reasonable.”

 

“I’ll try to get myself settled down” Brian promised him, “So that we can discuss this matter reasonably.”

 

Justin acted a bit stand-offish for the rest of the afternoon but Brian heard him complaining on the phone to Mikey.  Brian couldn’t hear Mikey but from what he did hear, he thought Justin was getting a sympathetic ear.  Apparently Mikey didn’t like to play chess with Ben either, and not just because he lost all the time.

 

Brian decided he would take a walk.  “Wanna come along, Sunshine?” he called out in his most conciliatory tone.  

 

“You walk too slow,” came the determined response.  So Brian walked alone, and did a little shopping along the way.

 

Brian didn’t know what to expect after a dinner which was cold in more ways than one.  So he lit the fireplace and waited for developments.  It took a little longer than usual for Justin to assume his normal position on the floor, cuddled up next to Brian with his head on Brian’s shoulder.  Nothing was said at first.  Brian thought it best to wait for Justin to begin any discussion. 

 

“Brian,” Justin finally broke the silence.  “I’m not mad at you any more and I hope you’re not mad at me.  The trouble today was all my fault.  I have no patience.  I just like doing things with you and I hoped chess would be a good thing for us to do together.  But you’re right.  You have to have patience and I have no patience.  How can you even put up with me?”

 

“I guess I have patience, Baby,” Brian smiled, “But you have patience too.  You put up with a lot to get me to see what I needed to see.  If it hadn’t been for your patience I would never have made it.  It’s not your lack of patience, Honey, you just don’t like chess.  But if you want to play chess, we’ll work it out” 

 

“I gave the chess set away, Brian,” Justin confessed, “Ethan stopped by right after you went out walking and I gave it to him.  If I ever need to play chess, we can use Mikey’s set.  We’ll find other things we can do together”

 

So Brian got what he was hoping for – a prompt settlement of their problem.  He sat holding on to Justin for dear life.  He was a happy man.  He should perhaps have left things in the pleasant state they were but he always wanted things to be even better.

 

He reached under the couch and pulled out a bag.  “This is a present for you,” he told Justin.

 

“So that I’d make up with you, I guess,” Justin answered, “You didn’t need to do that.  You knew I was wrong and you knew I’d figure that out and want to make up with you.  You didn’t need to do that.”

 

“And I didn’t,” Brian told Justin, “You were only going to get the present after we made up.”

 

Justin couldn’t hide his enthusiasm as he uncovered the present.  It was from Brian so he loved it.  Then he saw what it was.

 

“Monopoly, Brian,” Justin wondered, “You got a Monopoly game.  That’s for kids.  I loved it when I was ten but now I’m nearly twenty-one years old.”

 

“Lot’s of adults play Monopoly,” Brian insisted, “And I promise to throw the dice right away every time and move my token as fast as I can.  I won’t be boring.”

 

“How long will it take you to decide to build on Baltic and Mediterranean,” Justin laughed at him.

 

“Well these things take a little time if you want to play your best game but I promise not to be boring,” Brian told the kid pulling him closer.

“You know, Brian, you would never lose to me at chess but you might lose at Monopoly,” Justin warned, “The dice may just fall my way.”

 

“I know that,” Brian wondered, “So what?”

 

“Where’s that competitive spirit – that will to win?” Justin asked back at him.

 

“Baby,” Brian admitted, “I lose to you about something just about every day.  I’m used to losing to you and I’ve learned how to lose to you.  I’m going to tell you something though.  Whenever I lose to you, I look at you and then I think maybe I’ve really won.  Where you’re concerned, I don’t mind losing, but I never want to be boring.”

 

“You could never be boring, Brian,” Justin admitted. “I love you, whatever you do, and you could never be boring.”

 

Brian kissed his little twink and Justin pulled himself up onto Brian’s lap.  Both of them were deliriously happy.  But well-enough was never left alone in the loft.

 

“Monopoly, Bri,” Justin asked, “What ever made you pick Monopoly?”

 

“They were all out of Candyland,” Brian told him.  


	54. Chapter 54 - The Word of the Rings

The fireplace was already lit and Justin was sitting alone in front of the flitting flames.  He took off the ring that Brian had given him on Christmas Eve and was looking at it, actually he was reading the inscription, when   Brian came in from the kitchen and smiled.  “Oh, Oh,” he said to the kid, “I see the ring is off.  Changed your mind, have you?” 

“Sometimes you get really goofy, Bri,” Justin responded.  “This ring never comes off my finger, except for a few times when I’m all by myself and then I take it off to read the inscription.  Nobody has ever seen that inscription but me and you.”

 

“What’s so secret about the inscription, Honey?” Brian wanted to know, “Do you think people don’t  know  I love you?”

 

“I guess they know,” Justin admitted, “They ought to know.  I really hope they know, but I like it that the inscription is just between us two.  Daphne guessed there was an inscription and she wanted to see it but I wouldn’t take the ring off.  I wouldn’t even admit to her that there was an inscription.  I guess that’s crazy but that’s how I feel about it.”

 

Brian sat himself down on the floor next to Justin and put his arm around the kid.  “Baby,” Brian began, “I think I better tell you this before you find out some other way.  I don’t want you to get excited or anything but I better tell you.  Mikey has seen the inscription.  He saw the rings before you did.  He helped me pick them out.”

 

“Mikey saw the rings before I did?  Mikey has seen the inscription?” Justin questioned.  Brian was pleased at how well Justin seemed to take the revelation.  Justin was half-smiling as he went on “And maybe the whole idea of the rings was Mikey’s?  Sometimes I think Mikey has more romance in his little finger than you have in your whole body, Brian.  Did Mikey decide on the inscription too?”

 

“I guess I’m glad you’re being a bit of a drama queen, Honey,” Brian told him.  “Otherwise I would have thought you were sick, but ‘No,’ Mikey did not get the idea for the rings, and the wording of the inscription came from me and only me.  Actually, your ‘romantic’ Mikey thought maybe the inscription was too much but it was what I wanted and it’s what we got.  It just never occurred to me that the inscription should be secret.  I really thought you’d be showing that inscription to everybody.”

 

“Cut it out Brian,” Justin laughed at him, “I am definitely not one to brag about my conquests, and  I am not at all upset that Mikey saw the rings before I did.  I love the rings and I love you, and I guess now I can show Daphne what you had inscribed in the rings.  I almost showed her when she wanted to see it before.”

 

“Was Daphne the only one who noticed your ring?” Brian asked.

 

“You really are goofy sometimes, Honey,” Justin answered.  “Everybody noticed the rings.  The kids at school noticed and the people at the diner.”

 

“They are not who I’m talking about, Baby, and I think you know that,” Brian replied.  “What did your mother say?”

 

“She liked the idea, Brian.  She’s used to the fact that I’m gay and she knows we’re together for always, and she likes you, too.” Justin told him.  “Mollie said she hoped she could find a guy as great as the one I found.  I think she’s a little bit mad that I took you out of circulation.”

 

“So I’m out of circulation, am I?” Brian wondered.

 

“Only in a manner of speaking, Sweetheart,” Justin consoled him.  “It’s not like you’re over the hill or anything.  You still have a lot of good years left in you.”

 

“Maybe you better quit trying to make me feel better, Kiddo,” Brian suggested.  “Did my mother say anything to you about the rings?”

 

“Why are you asking that?” Justin laughed.  “Did she say anything to you when she saw yours?  I’ll bet she did.  Are you going to tell me what she said?”

 

“What if I don’t want to share what she said with you?” Brian asked.

 

“Oh, you’ll eventually tell me, I think,” Justin told him.  “I’ll talk you into it somehow.”

 

“Yeah, you will,” Brian admitted, “Which makes her 100% right.  She said you were the best thing that ever happened to me and she wished she knew your secret of getting me to do just what you want me to do.  She said if she had known how to do that, I wouldn’t have turned out to be the rat I was before I met you.  I guess that’s what she told you too.”

 

“Pretty much, Honey,” Justin acknowledged, “But she never saw the real you and she doesn’t really understand how our relationship works.”

 

“Oh I think maybe she does,” Brian laughed.  “I’m pretty sure she does.  But this discussion is kind of fun.  What were some other reactions to the ring?”

 

“Mikey and Ben congratulated me and said they hoped we’d be happy together forever.  Mikey did not let on that he knew about the rings or the inscriptions before I did,” Justin told him.  “Brian,” Justin went on, “This is a secret.  Ben wants me to help him pick out rings for him and Mikey and we’re going to do that pretty soon, but you can’t tell Mikey and that’s an order.”

 

“You know I wouldn’t tell Mikey,” Brian smiled, “Even if you hadn’t ordered me not to.  Did Hunter see the ring, Baby?”

 

“Yeah, he did,” Justin told him, “I’m beginning to like Hunter, Brian.  He promised not to make a play for you as long as we were wearing these rings.  I told him that was fair enough and that he better look somewhere else because we would always be wearing them.  He said he hoped he could find somebody as great as you.”

 

“Then I guess you must be learning how lucky you were to find somebody as great as me?” Brian pointed out.

 

“I do know how lucky I am, and I’ve told you that a lot of times,” Justin defended himself.  “But I am not going to warn any of them that there isn’t anybody else as great as you.  They’ll have to find that out for themselves.”

 

“Fair enough, Baby,” Brian assured him, “And I guess I ought to tell you that you were a pretty good catch yourself.  You are a really special guy.”

 

“I don’t think you always thought that,” Justin teased.

 

“But I do now, Honey,” Brian maintained, “Now and always.  Any other comments about the ring?”

 

“Ted was the most surprised I think,” Justin told him, “I don’t expect he’ll ever get used to us being together.  Mel was surprised too.  I don’t think either of them really understands you – or us.  Linz said she always hoped it would happen for you but she was about ready to give up hope.  She really loves you, Brian – and she likes me too.”

 

“And Emmett?” Brian wondered.

 

“He was funny, Bri,” Justin smiled.  “He said he always knew you were a softie inside and just waiting for Prince Charming to come along and snag you.  But he thought you made a mistake in not having him help you pick out the rings for us.  I think I’m glad you chose Mikey though.”

 

“So you’re Prince Charming, you little twink,” Brian laughed, “I would have expected a comment like that to come from Debbie.”

 

“Debbie told me that she was glad we had the rings, but she said she knew we were in love before we did.” Justin added.

 

“She didn’t,” Brian told Justin, “But she did know it before I was willing to admit it.  I guess it’s true though that she does know us better than anyone else.”

 

“Yeah,” Justin agreed, “I think she does.”  “But I’ve been doing most of the talking.  Now aren’t  you going to tell me the reaction you got when they saw your ring?” Justin asked.

 

“If you don’t mind, Honey can we postpone that till another time,” Brian requested. “I’d just like to sit here and hold you for a while.”

 

“OK, Bri,” Justin responded, “That’s an offer I’d never turn down.” 

 

So they just sat there for quite a while, Justin still staring at the ring in his hand.  Eventually Brian broke the silence, “You know, Baby, you still don’t have the ring on your finger.  I wish you’d put it back on.  I like to see you wearing it.  That’s where it belongs.” 

 

“I don’t think I’m going to put it back on,” Justin answered him.

 

“You’re not?” Brian exclaimed, sounding surprised.

 

“No, I’m not, “ Justin affirmed, handing Brian the ring, “Because I want you to put it back on my finger and I want you to read the inscription to me while you’re doing it.”

 

“Well, then I guess I have to do that since I always do what you want me to do,” Brian surrendered.

 

“But I wish you’d do it just because you want to,” Justin pleaded.

 

“That too,” Brian  assured him as he did what he was told.


	55. Chapter 55 - Talking About Anything

Brian and Justin had just returned to the loft and lit the fireplace.   

“I’m glad you are being so nice to Ethan and Tom,” Justin was telling Brian, “You seemed to be having a good time. Bri.  Now tell me the truth.  Did you enjoy our dinner tonight? ”

 

“Have I ever had a bad dinner at Gino’s?” Brian countered.

 

“Brian, be serious,” Justin complained, “I’m not talking about the food and you know it.  Do you mind our seeing Ethan and Tom socially?  I don’t want to drag you out with them if you don’t want to go.”

 

“Honey,” Brian replied, “I don’t know if I would have picked those guys for friends myself  but they are your friends so they’re my friends too.  I don’t mind being around them.  They’re not bad guys, as long as Ethan doesn’t have any designs on you.”

 

“Now why are you bringing that up?” Justin asked him.

 

“Because you are becoming a bit of a pain, Honey,” Brian responded.  “I went out to dinner with them; I treated them civilly and I seemed to be having a good time.  Isn’t that enough?”

 

“Well I’m just a little suspicious, Brian,” Justin defended himself, “And I always want you to enjoy yourself.”

 

“I think maybe the best way to do that would be to drop this subject,” Brian allowed.

 

“I love you, Brian,” Justin grouched, “But sometimes you are hard to talk to.”

 

Justin snuggled himself up closer to Brian and the silence that followed seemed to indicate that Brian had prevailed.

 

But when that silence was broken, it was Brian who began what might be seen as a parallel discussion.  “I haven’t heard anything lately about Malcolm, Baby.  I know you’re in contact with him by e-mail.  What’s going on in Florence?” he asked the kid.

 

“Same old stuff,” Justin answered, “Nothing worth discussing.”

 

“Well you told me about him when he was going with Giuseppe and Giovanni, and then with Guido, I think it was,” Brian continued, “But that was a couple of weeks ago at least.  Is he still going with Guido?”

 

“I don’t think so,” Justin told him.

 

“Now why am I getting suspicious?” Brian wondered.  “Is there something going on that you don’t want to tell me about?”

 

“There is no reason for you to think that,” Justin answered, “I bet you’re just trying to pay me back for asking you about Ethan and Tom.”

 

“OK, Baby,” Brian insisted, “Now I’m not just suspicious.  I am sure there is something you don’t want me to know.  I can’t imagine what it would be.  But if there is something, you don’t want to tell me, then don’t tell me.  I didn’t know there was anything we couldn’t talk about though.”

 

“There isn’t, Brian.  You know there isn’t,” Justin moaned.  “You’re making me feel terrible.”

“I’m sorry, Honey,” Brian apologized.  “Let’s drop this subject too.”

 

There followed another period of silence which  Justin finally interrupted.  “Brian, I have to tell you about Malcolm.  I don’t want you to think there is anything I wouldn’t tell you,” Justin announced, “But I don’t know how to do it.”

 

“You’ll do just fine, Baby,” Brian told him, “And even if you don’t do fine, I’ll think it’s fine anyhow.  I guess you want me to tell you I love you?”

 

“Actually I want you to tell me you love me after I tell you about Malcolm,” Justin told him with just a trace of a smile.

 

“I will, Baby,” Brian replied, “I promise I will.”

 

“OK, Brian,” Justin sighed.  “Malcolm has fallen head over heels in love with Carlo.  Carlo is one of his teachers over there.  He is fifteen years older than Malcolm, and he is not interested in any long term relationships – or even short term relationships.  He wants a different guy every night.  All he is interested in is sex.  He has told Malcolm that but Malcolm is still chasing him around.  It’s been over two weeks now.  That’s a long time for Malcolm and you know Malcolm has always said he liked older guys.”

 

“I hope you told Malcolm to give up Carlo and get as far away from him as he can and as fast as he can,” Brian suggested.

 

“Brian,” Justin began hesitantly.

 

“Honey,” Brian interrupted, “I know what your problem is.  Malcolm’s situation sounds like something out of our past.  We can talk about it.  We can talk about anything.”

 

“Would you have told me to get away from you as fast as I could?” Justin asked.

 

“Baby,” Brian responded, “I did tell you to get away from me as fast as you could.  So I turned out to be wrong about you and even more wrong about me.  That was good advice for you then and it’s good advice for Malcolm now.  What happened with us might not happen again in a thousand years.  And Malcolm is certainly not you.  He will recover pretty quickly.  I know you gave him advice.  What did you tell him?”

 

“I told him what you said you hoped I would tell him,” Justin admitted, “But I don’t want you to think I have any regrets about us.  You know I don’t have any regrets about us.”

 

“Justin Sweetheart,” Brian told him, “I don’t know how anybody as mature as you are about everything else can be so insecure about me.  OK, now you’ve told me about Malcolm.  Is it all right for me to tell you I love you?  Nothing you could tell me about Malcolm would change that.  I think if you had any regrets about us, I would know.”

 

“Brian,” Justin said, “You are really the very greatest guy in the world.  I’ve known that since I met you but I get more evidence every day.”

 

“Then cut me some slack, Baby,” Brian countered, “Trust me.  I trust you, you know.  Is there anything I can do to help you with Malcolm?”

 

“I don’t think so, Bri,” Justin replied, “But I’ll keep you up-to-date about what’s going on.  Maybe you’ll be able to help later on.  We really can talk about anything, can’t we?  I’m glad about that.”

 

“Yes we can,” Brian assured him, “And I hope I’ve finally got that through your sometimes thick skull.  We can talk about anything.”

 

So the guys lapsed into another contented silence, watching the darting flames bouncing to and fro.

 

“Earlier tonight I said you were hard to talk to sometimes, Brian.  I was really wrong.  I’m so glad we can talk together about anything, Honey,” Justin broke the silence.

 

“And I’m glad I have finally convinced you of that,” Brian mused, running his fingers through the kid’s golden hair.

 

“Brian.” Justin asked after a short pause, “What advice would you give Carlo in this situation?”

 

“I don’t know Carlo, Honey, so I wouldn’t know what to tell him,” Brian laughed, “And if you don’t stop trying to trap me into saying something you can complain about, I’m going to quit messing up your hair.”

 

“OK, you win, Sweetheart,” Justin gave up, “I know a threat when I hear one.  The subject of Malcolm and Carlo is officially dropped, but I’m still glad we can talk about anything.  You don’t mind me asking you stuff, do you?”

 

“Not really, Baby.  I’m glad we can talk about everything too.  So it’s OK for you to ask questions if you need to.” Brian answered him.

 

“Brian,” Justin grasped the opportunity, “Do you really enjoy spending time with Ethan and Tom?”


	56. Chapter 56 - Vocational Advice

As Brian entered the loft he heard Justin finishing a phone conversation and hanging up.  He heard Justin say, “OK, Tom, we’ll be there as soon as we can.”  Brian wondered who “Tom’ was and who the “we” referred to. 

“Something up?” he asked Justin.

 

“Oh, yeah, Brian,” Justin responded excitedly, “Glad you’re here.  That was Tom Butterfield.  We have to get over to Mercy Hospital.  Your mother fell and they’re taking her there by ambulance.”

 

“Tom Butterfield?” Brian asked, “The preacher?  You’re on a first name basis with my mother’s minister?  When did all that happen?”

 

“We should talk about that later, Bri.  Do you want to change clothes before we leave or do you want to go like that?” Justin hurried him.  Brian decided to change clothes.

 

Justin filled Brian in on the details of the accident on the way to the hospital.  Joanie Kinney had been at a church meeting that afternoon.  When she left, she had only gone a few steps down the street when she fell.  Tom Butterfield had still been in front of the church taking leave of some of the ladies when Joannie fell.  He had gone with her in the ambulance and had called Brian and Clare on his cell phone to let them know.

 

“And are you going to tell me how you’re on a first name basis with the Reverend Tom?” Brian asked, “Or is that another in the long list of things you don’t tell me?”

 

“Actually they have some projects at the church that have some art involved.” Justin told him, “Your mother suggested that Tom talk to me about them and he did a couple of times.  I haven’t done any work for them.  I might do that and I promise you you’ll see it if I do.  All I’ve done so far is give them a little advice.  I’m sorry, Brian.  Please don’t try to make me feel guilty.  It isn’t like I was sneaking around behind your back.”

 

“No it isn’t,” Brian responded, “I don’t want you to feel guilty about anything.  It’s just that I’m kind of possessive where you’re concerned.  I guess I’m the one who should be sorry.”

 

“Hey Brian,” Justin smiled at him, “I think I like it that you’re kind of possessive about me.  Sometimes I feel a little possessive about you too.”

 

“Sometimes?” Brian repeated.

 

“Yeah,” Justin replied, “sometimes,” just as they pulled into the emergency parking lot at the hospital.

 

The emergency room was busy when they arrived, but they were directed to cubicle 9.  They didn’t find Mrs. Kinney but Tom Butterfield was there.  He greeted Justin and Brian and told them that Joannie had gone for x-rays to see if she had a broken hip.  Dr. Marshall had not thought so but he couldn’t be sure.

 

“You’ve got a brilliant young man there, Brian,” he said, “And a really good one too.  You were lucky you saw him first.”

 

“I don’t know if I saw him first,” Brian allowed. “But I sure as heck hope I saw him last.  I know I’m lucky, Tom,” said Brian deciding that he would be on a first name basis too.

 

“I think you’re pretty lucky too, Justin,” Tom declared, “You got a very special guy here.”

 

“I know that Tom,” Justin answered.  “He’s the greatest guy in the world.  Everybody thinks so.”

 

“Not everybody” exclaimed a new voice in the conversation. “Not those who know him best,” Clare announced as she entered the cubicle.  “Where’s mother?” she wanted to know, and they brought her up to date.

 

“I don’t know what I’m going to do?” Clare began to cry.  “Things are hard enough for me now.  I don’t see how I’m going to be able to take care of her all by myself.”

 

Justin walked over and put his arm around Clare.  “You’re not going to have to take care of your mother all by yourself.  We all know that you’ll do everything you can and that will be a lot, but Brian wants to help, Tom wants to help, and I want to help.  Your mother will be taken care of, Clare, and you’ll have all the help you need.”

 

“You’re very sweet to say that, Justin,” Clare seemed to calm down.  “Johnny has told me how nice you are but I thought since you were mixed up with Brian ….”

 

“That he’d be a bastard too,” Brian finished the sentence for her.

 

Justin broke in at that point, “Cut it out, Brian.  And don’t answer him Clare.  We have a problem here maybe, and we are going to solve it together.  We are going to work it out together.  Name calling won’t help.”

 

That seemed to calm things down.  “Have you ever considered the ministry, Justin?” Tom asked jocularly.

 

“Is it a sin to tell preacher to shut up?” Brian interrupted with a smile on his face.

 

It might even be that Clare smiled, but that could not be confirmed.

 

Dr. Marshall came in at that point with good news.  The hip was not broken.  Joannie would be sedated for a day or so because of the pain and would spend a week or ten days in a rehab center, but Dr. Marshall was sure there was no permanent damage and that she would be back to her normal activity within a month.  Everybody was relieved at the news.  He suggested that they all leave and come back to see her the next day, and they agreed.

 

Brian walked out with Tom and Justin walked out with Clare.  Brian thought he heard Clare say that there must be something good about Brian if Justin could love him.  Justin told her there was and he did.  Brian knew he heard Clare thank Justin for all the things they were doing for the boys.  It would have made Brian think that maybe Clare was human if he didn’t already know different.

 

They didn’t say much on the drive home, but they were thinking.  They stopped for dinner at the diner.  Debbie was working and Mikey and Ben were eating there too, so they had company.  They talked about Mrs. Kinney’s fall but had no in-depth discussion.  They talked about other things too, which suited Brian and Justin just fine.

 

They weren’t back at the loft very long though until the fireplace was lit and they had assumed their positions on the floor watching the flames.

 

“Thanks,” Brian opened the conversation.

 

“What for?” Justin asked with genuine surprise.

 

“Just for being you, I guess,” Brian told him, “For being there for me, for being there for Clare, for making us act like human beings, for taking charge of the situation.  For being you, I guess.  You’re really one in a million, Baby.”

 

“I’m glad you think that.” Justin replied.

 

“Everybody thinks that, Sweetheart. Even Clare thinks that,” Brian said.

 

“But I’m glad you think that,” Justin repeated, “You’re the one who counts.”  Brian felt warm all over. 

 

“Did Clare say she thinks that there might be some good in me because you think you love me?” Brian asked a question he thought he knew the answer to.

 

“She said she thought there might be some good in you.”  Justin confirmed, ignoring the last part of the question.

 

“You have often threatened to get Clare and me on civil speaking terms.  You’re going to work on that now, aren’t you?” Brian accused him.

 

“Yep,” Justin admitted.

 

“What if I tell you I don’t want to be on speaking terms with Clare?  What if I tell you it’s too late?  You wouldn’t want me to do something that I don’t want to do?” Brian protested.

 

“But if I can get you to change your mind, you won’t be doing something you don’t want to do, will you?” was Justin’s response.

 

“You sound like a lawyer, Baby.  Maybe you should study law,” Brian laughed.

 

“I sure am getting a lot of vocational advice today,” Justin laughed back at him, “But all I want to be is a starving artist with you to come home to.”  
  
”You’re already there,” Brian told him.  Justin felt warm all over.  He knew that he was.


	57. Chapter 57 - How to Help

Brian and Justin were finishing dinner in the loft.  Justin was clearing away the dishes when Brian gave voice to something he had noticed while they were eating.  “Baby, you’re nervous as a cat right now.  Something is bothering you.  You know I’m here and I want to help if I can.” 

“And you are going to get the chance, Brian,” Justin told him. “It always helps me to talk things over with you.  I didn’t want to bother you while we were eating but how about lighting the fireplace and I’ll be in as soon as the dishwasher is loaded.”

 

Brian did that and waited, but when Justin joined him, nothing was said for a while.  Brian just let things be until Justin was ready to talk.

 

Finally Justin began, “Malcolm’s back, Bri,” he told him.

 

“Already?” Brian responded with some surprise, “I thought he wasn’t due back for another month or so.”

 

“He wasn’t,” Justin confirmed, “But he said he just had to get out of Italy.  It’s that business with Carlo.”

 

“The old guy he was stalking?” Brian remembered.  “He must have been chasing him for six weeks or so.  That’s a lifetime commitment for Malcolm.  Do you think he was serious about the guy?”

 

“Even fickle guys can really fall in love, I think, Sweetheart, and Carlo is not that old.  He’s just about your age,” Justin told him, “Anyhow, Malcolm is really down right now and I’m not sure what to do for him.”

 

“But you will do something for him, won’t you?” Brian asked the kid, “Or at least try your darnedest.    Everybody’s problem is your problem.”

 

“Don’t yell at me, Brian,” Justin answered, “I can’t help it.  That’s the way I am.”

 

“I’m not yelling at you,” Brian pulled Justin closer to himself, “I know that’s the way you are and I love you for it.  That and a lot of other things.”

 

“Brian,” Justin stated, “That could be me where Malcolm is now.  I was lucky to find you the first time around, but I would never have settled for less than the best guy in the world.  I could have had to go from guy to guy looking for you, but I just happened to find you right away.”

 

“How come when our meeting on Liberty Avenue is a ‘pick-up’ it was me who picked you up, and when it’s ‘finding one another’ it’s you who found me?” Brian wanted to know.

 

“The reasoning there is very subtle and I’ll be glad to explain it to you sometime,” Justin smiled at him, “But let’s work on Malcolm’s situation right now.”

 

“In other words you need time to figure out how to answer my question, but OK, you are right about Malcolm.  There are a lot of similarities between us and Malcolm’s situation.” Brian told him, “What if it had been Malcolm I picked up under the lamppost on Liberty Avenue?  I might have done that.    He’s cute enough – and then it could have been him stalking me instead of you.  That would have been awful.”

 

“Seems to me you thought me stalking you was awful too,” Justin laughed, and Brian was glad to see his twink’s state of mind improving.

 

“I’m not so sure I did, though,” Brian admitted in response.

 

“What did you just say?” Justin jumped on that statement, “And what did you mean?  I really want to know.”

 

“I bet you do, but the answer’s pretty subtle.” Brian responded with a smile, “We should certainly discuss it some time and we will, but we need to concentrate on Malcolm right now, don’t we?”

 

“Most often, Brian, you are a help with my problems, and you are being a help right now,” Justin pointed out,  “But sometimes you can also be a distraction.  Do you know that?”

 

“Yep,” Brian admitted, “But that’s the way I am.  I can’t help it if I distract you sometimes.”

 

“I was not complaining, Honey,” Justin clarified his statement,  “Just telling you how it is.”

 

“Thank you, Baby,” Brian ran his hands through Justin’s hair, “You distract me sometimes too and I don’t mind either.  But what do you want to do about Malcolm?”

 

“I think he’s got to find somebody else.  He needs to do that himself and I hope it will be soon.  I just want to support him till he does.” Justin explained,  “I don’t really think it will be too long.  I thought maybe he was ready to hit on me today but he didn’t.  He just needs somebody to talk to.  Malcolm has a lot of ex-boyfriends but not many real friends he can depend on.  Not like you have Mikey and I have Daphne – and we have each other.”

 

“Invite him over here,” Brian suggested, “We can entertain him and I can do my own check to see if he’s hitting on you.”

 

“Don’t get mad at me, Brian,” Justin replied cautiously, “But actually I want to keep him away from you.  You’re too close to Carlo’s age, and in his current state, that might appeal to him.”

 

“In his current state?” Brian laughed, “If he was normal he wouldn’t be interested in me but in his current state he might be.  Maybe you’re just afraid of the competition?”

 

“No Dearie,” Justin joked back, “I’m just trying to save you from the awful fate of having Malcolm come after you.  If Malcolm moved in on you though and took you away from me, I’d just have to go out and look for some other old guy.  I’d rather not though.  I don’t think I could find anyone nearly as good.  You have a way of cheering me up and making me look at things realistically.  And I guess I’m also seriously in love with you – seriously and, I’m afraid, permanently.”

 

“If that’s the way you feel about it,” Brian responded, “There isn’t much I can say, except that nobody could be competition for you with me – not Malcolm or anybody else either.  Now what about the little goof-ball?”

 

“I think Malcolm would be better with someone his own age.  Malcolm’s not the most mature person in the world.” Justin allowed.  “He actually mentioned maybe someone perhaps younger than he is.  That might be even better, but it’s hard to predict Malcolm.  I just want to be there for him if he needs somebody.  He is really a nice kid – a bit mixed up – but a nice kid.”

 

“Well there doesn’t seem to be much that I can do for Malcolm,” Brian concluded, “Since you want to keep him away from me.”

 

“That’s right, Bri,” Justin agreed, “I’ll take care of Malcolm.  I don’t need you for that.  But I do need you.  I need you to take care of me.  Keep me from going overboard.  Make me keep things in perspective like you’re doing now.  Keep me from ‘meddling.’  Now I don’t ever really meddle at all but you call it that so you know what I mean.”

 

“Oh I know what you mean, all right,” Brian laughed, “You want to give Malcolm a little rope and hope he won’t hang himself, but you don’t want to push him into anything like you do me.  I guess you want me to keep you occupied some other way?” 

 

“That too,” Justin answered, “And you might want to start by telling me what you meant about maybe not minding so much when I was stalking you.  Not that I want to push you into anything.”

 

“Actually I don’t want to start that way,” Brian stated, ruffling Justin’s hair.  “That was not at all what I had in mind.  Not that I would want to push you into anything you don’t want to do either.”

 

“I don’t think you are,” Justin informed him. 


	58. Chapter 58 - Brush Off

Justin and Brian had been invited over to Brian’s mother’s apartment to dinner.  Now they were back in the loft, in front of the fireplace, watching the flickering flames and reliving the experience.

 

“I really enjoyed myself, Brian,” Justin volunteered, “Your mother is a nice lady and she’s a great cook.”

 

“She was always a great cook,” Brian told him, “But she was not always such a nice lady.  You did that, my little miracle worker.  I could have killed you though when she brought out the dessert, and you had that silly look on your face.  I was afraid I was going to burst out laughing and she would have remembered for sure.”

 

“That wasn’t a silly look, Bri,” Justin replied, “I thought I was going to choke to keep myself from laughing and then you had that really odd look on your face which always makes me laugh.  And then when she said ‘It’s your favorite, double chocolate cake,’ I thought I was dead, but we both did all right.  I don’t think she noticed.”

 

“And I’m sure she didn’t remember,” Brian said, “But that was good.  That wasn’t the very best of days – the day she showed up at the loft with that cake.”

 

“It was the day I first met your mother,” Justin laughed.

 

“And it was certainly not love at first sight on her part, at least,” Brian laughed back.

 

“As I remember it, she was a lot madder at you than she was at me.  “Maybe she’ll bring the rest of the cake over tonight,” Justin suggested.

 

“Well she ought to know what to expect if she does?” Brian told him.

 

“Like what?” Justin wondered.

 

“Wait and see.  It’ll be worse than last time, though,” Brian told him.

 

“OK,” Justin answered, “That’s something to look forward to.”

 

“But you’re lucky I’m even talking to you, Little Twat,” Brian went on.

 

“What do you think I did now?” Justin questioned.

 

“When my mother said she was going to get the kitchen painted, you told her that we would be glad to do it for her.  Why ‘we?’  You probably have had a course in kitchen painting at the Institute,” Brian complained, “I don’t paint.”

 

“Well, I didn’t know that then,” Justin defended himself, “But I guess I know it now.  When she told me you painted her kitchen once for her when you were eighteen, and then they had to call the painter in to paint over your work, I thought maybe you weren’t very good at it. But you’re so good at everything, Brian, I just assumed you’d be a good painter too.”

 

“It’s not something I’ve taken the time to learn,” Brian pointed out.

 

“Well, I can do it myself in just a few hours,” Justin said.  “If you want to come along, you can mix the paint or maybe just hold the cans for me.”

 

“That sounds like real skilled labor to me,” Brian groused.

“Brian Honey,” Justin responded, “It’s you that ‘s saying you can’t paint.  You have lots of skills.  It’s OK that painting isn’t one of them.”

 

“Well, I wish she hadn’t invited Clare.  She remembered when I painted the kitchen and she was laughing at me,” Brian remembered,  “Why did she have to invite Clare?”

 

“Clare is her daughter, Brian,” Justin reminded him, “Just like you are her son.  She wishes you two would get along better.”

 

“We get along fine,” Brian pointed out, “When we’re not together.  Thanks to you Clare and I are civil to each other but you’re doomed to failure if you try to get me and Clare to really like each other.  Just like you’re doomed to failure if you think you’re going to make a painter out of me.  So cut out the meddling.”

 

“I am not a meddler Brian,” Justin defended itself, “I take an interest in other people and I try to help where I can, but I am not a meddler.”

 

“Semantics, Sweetie,” Brian smiled at Justin.  He loved everything about the little twink, including the meddling, but Justin really did not need to know that.

 

“Brian, I didn’t think I was going to tell you this,” Justin said to Brian, “But you remember when that nosy Mrs. Flynn from next door to your mother stopped by supposedly to borrow something?  You were arguing with Clare about whatever and I was helping your mother get the dishes into the dishwasher.”

 

“Yeah,” Brian said, “I was just telling Clare what she was doing wrong with her kids.”

 

“I hope you weren’t meddling Brian,” Justin sniped, “But anyway, your mother told Mrs. Flynn that she was going to get the kitchen painted and that her son-in-law was going to do it for her.  Mrs. Flynn said ‘Joannie, I didn’t know Clare was married again,’ and your mother said that she wasn’t, that I was the son-in-law who was going to do the job.”

 

“Oh that is funny,” Brian laughed, “What did old lady Flynn say to that?”

 

“Nothing,” Justin replied, “But she got herself out of there pretty fast.”

 

“You are a marvel, Honey,” Brian told Justin, “I don’t think even Rage could get rid of old lady Flynn that fast.  She’s almost always good for an hour at least when she drops in.  You did good, Sonny Boy.”

 

Brian and Justin had other matters to discuss and the subject of the dinner and the painting was dropped, at least for a while.

 

Brian was so very comfortable sitting there and so was Justin.  Justin cuddled closer to Brian as they talked, and Brian felt himself getting embarrassingly mushy.  True to form, Justin saved the day.

 

“You know what, Bri,” he said, “Ethan is a good painter.  He can come over with me when I paint your mother’s kitchen.  You won’t have to come at all if you don’t want to.  It will be done in just an hour or two with two good painters working.”

 

“You know what, Baby,” Brian responded, “I was just kidding you.  I have become a better painter since I messed up the kitchen back then, and I can help you, but just in case I need more practice, I’m going to go to one of those Home Depot workshops on painting.  I want us to do things together and painting the kitchen will be a lot of fun, I’m sure.”

 

Justin smiled at Brian.  “You know what, Sweetheart,’ Justin said, “ I was just kidding too.  I didn’t want you to have to suffer through the painting session.  Ethan can’t paint worth a damn.  I’m sure he’d be worse than you.”  

 

Justin tried to leap out of Brian’s arms to get away but Brian, for all his years, was too fast for him. Justin was caught but he didn’t seem too upset about it at all.  Actually, he put his arms around Brian’s neck and kissed him.

 

It was a good thing Joan Kinney did not bring any double chocolate cake to the loft that night.  


	59. Chapter 59 - Traveling Plans

“Any cavities?” Brian asked Justin as the younger man came into the loft, returning from his semi-annual dental check-up. 

“Not a cavity in my head, the dentist told me,” Justin responded.

 

“He doesn’t live with you,” Brian reminded him.

 

“Brian,” Justin turned serious, “I had to wait about forty-five minutes for Dr. O’Hare and I was reading some magazines while I waited.”

 

“Am I going to get a headache from your dental appointment?” Brian wondered.

 

“There was this travel magazine there,” Justin told him, “And I’d like to go to Paris.”

 

“Oh,” Brian interjected.

 

“They had this wonderful tour advertised and it seemed so neat.  I could learn so much there.  I’ve never been to Paris, and I figure we should think about going.  We’re not getting any younger,” Justin continued.

 

“And I for one,” Brian declared, “have no intention of getting any older either.  I guess you tore that article out and have it ready to throw at me, right?  Complete with phone numbers and itineraries.”

 

“Wrong, Smart Guy,” Justin laughed, “The magazine was a year old and that tour was over six months ago.  You better be getting to the dentist too, Brian.  But Paris is still there, Sweetheart.  Will you think about going?  It’s the city of romance, you know.”

 

“From the way you’re pitching this trip, I guess my answer may surprise you,” Brian told him, “I don’t think it’s a bad idea at all.  When were you thinking of going?”

 

“You know I have a week off school next month,” Justin told him, “If you could get that week away from the office, maybe we could go then.”

 

“Do you have a valid passport, Sweetheart?” Brian asked.  “It takes a while to get a passport.”

 

“Of course I have a valid passport,” Justin said, “You know I went to London with my school class the year before I met you.  Do I look like somebody who would walk around without a valid passport?”

 

“No you don’t, Baby.  Not at all,” Brian laughed.  “When I see a group of people, I often ask myself ‘Which of these people would walk around without a valid passport?’ so I am very experienced.  And you don’t look at all like somebody who would walk around without a valid passport.  But I didn’t know you went to London the year before you met me because I didn’t know you the year before you met me, and you never told me.”

 

“Well you never asked,” Justin defended himself.

 

“An omission on my part,” Brian admitted, “By the way, Sunshine, have you ever been to Timbuktu, Samarkand, or Mozambique?”

 

“Brian,” Justin complained, “Sometimes I think you get a perverse pleasure out of making fun of me.”

 

“I don’t see anything perverse about it at all,” Brian smiled at him, “But I will confess to just a little bit of pleasure. You don’t really mind, do you?”

 

“Brian,” Justin replied, “I learned the hard way that your actions speak louder than your words.  You’re better at talking now than you were then, but your actions still speak louder than your words.  I’m glad you know my weak points so you can protect me.  I don’t need any protection from you.  Of course I don’t mind.  Someday when I’m not so scared of you, I may even pick on you every once in a while.”  Brian smiled at that.  Then Justin stopped short.

 

“Wait a minute, Brian,” Justin shouted, “It’s just sinking in.  You said you’d go.  You are the greatest guy in the world.  I love you.”  And Justin ran toward him and threw himself into Brian’s arms so that Brian had to catch him.  “I haven’t done that in a long time,” Justin said to Brian.

 

“No, and you’ve gained five pounds since the last time too,” Brian replied.

 

“I don’t think so Brian.  The scale doesn’t say that,” Justin came back, “Too bad there’s no scale to measure the ravages of age.  Maybe you ain’t what you used to be?”

 

“I suppose you take no perverse pleasure in saying that?” Brian asked.

 

“None whatsoever,” Justin declared, “I’m getting old too.”

 

For some reason or another, there was no more talk right then about the potential trip to Paris.  It was a few hours later, with the fireplace lit and the guys sitting together peacefully on the floor watching the flames, that the subject came up again.

 

“Honey,” Brian began, “I can try to get that week off next month to go to Paris, but there are arrangements for the trip that have to be made.  And something could come up at the office too, with that short notice.  If we try to go then and something happens that I can’t go, I hope you wouldn’t go without me.”

 

“Brian, I am so sorry that I went to Vermont without you.  I’ve told you that a hundred times.”  Justin responded, “I was just a kid then and I did dumb things.  I don’t ever want to go to Paris without you.  I don’t ever want to go anywhere without you.”

 

“And we have business connections in Paris too,” Brian continued, “I might have to visit them while I’m there.  It wouldn’t take much time but I don’t want you to feel neglected.  Actually, I might have had to go over there anyhow, but if I had gone, I would have taken you with me.  I might be able to kill two birds with one stone.”

 

“I’m a big boy now, Brian,” Justin protested, “Whatever needs to be done will be OK with me.  Don’t you know that?”

 

“I think I do know that, Baby,” Brian told him, “I just don’t want any surprises.”

 

“Well I’m not promising that there won’t be a surprise or two,” Justin countered.

 

“I think that will be quite all right.” Brian assured him.

 

“Do you want to make the plane and hotel arrangements yourself, Sunshine?” Brian asked.  “I’m sure Cynthia would be glad to do that and she has had a lot of experience.”

 

“I think Cynthia should do it,” Justin answered, “Then if anything goes wrong, I won’t have to listen to your complaints.”

 

“Yes you will, Baby,” Brian responded, “Unless we take Cynthia along.”

 

“Then I’ll take my chances,” Justin allowed, “We don’t want you and Cynthia gone from the office at the same time.”

 

“That’s what I like about you, Sunshine, “ Brian laughed, “Always thinking about the business.”

 

They talked of some other things before they came back to the potential Paris adventure.

 

“You know, Honey,” Brian warned Justin, “Mikey went to Paris with David and then they came back and broke up.”

 

“That could never happen to us.  And they didn’t break up because they went to Paris, Bri,” Justin opined, “They broke up because they went to Portland.  But we will have to take pictures in Paris and have a slide show like they did.  That was so enjoyable.”

 

“Well it was kind of enjoyable as I remember it,” Brian agreed, “But I don’t remember the slides having anything to do with it.”

 

“Of course the slides had something to do with it, Brian,” Justin laughed. “That’s why the lights were out.”

 

“Point well taken,” Brian admitted, “But I still figure Mikey thinks that the river flowing through the middle of Paris is the Susquehanna.”

 

“Well his mother thinks the Susquehanna flows through the middle of Pittsburgh,” Justin laughed, “And she’s lived here all her life.  Think of all the stuff they could learn from our slide show.”

 

“Take all the pictures you want, Baby,” Brian said, “But no slide show.  Next you’d want violin accompaniment for the slide show.  Absolutely no slide show.”

 

“OK, Brian,” Justin told him.  “Since we always do exactly what you want, I have gotten used to it.  I never get my way.  I lose again.  I guess there will be no slide show.”

 

Brian smiled.  But he wasn’t all that sure that there would be no slide show – and he didn’t really care. 


	60. Chapter 60 - Men of the World

Justin was surprised when he came out of the shower to discover Brian at home already.  He thought it would be another hour or so till Brian got back to the loft.  He had been helping Ben with some work. 

“Wanna go to a party?” Brian called in to him.  “Not if it’s come as you are.” Justin called back  “Unless maybe it was just a small party – like just for two, maybe.”

 

“That sounds like a good party to me,” Brian laughed. “There will be more than two at the party I’m talking about.  But it isn’t till next week, so even you have enough time to get properly dressed.”

 

“There’s time for our own little party for two then, isn’t there?” Justin called out.

 

“I’ll be right in,” Brian told Justin.  “The party I’m talking about is a birthday party for Hunter.  Mikey and Ben want it to be a big bash.  Guess what, Baby?  Hunter has a new boy friend.  Mikey says he’s a couple of years older than Hunter but he seems nice and he’s real cute.  Here I come – ready or not.  Surprise.”

 

But it was Brian, not Justin, who was surprised.  Justin emerged from the bedroom fully if sloppily dressed.  “I have to go out, Brian,” Justin told him, “I’ll be back in an hour or so.”

 

“What about our party for two?” Brian wondered.

 

“Later,” Justin answered.

 

“That’s not the kind of ‘Later’ I like, Honey.” Brian objected, “There’s a word for people who pull what you’re pulling.”

 

“Lovable? Sweet?” Justin called back as he rushed out the door, laughing but still looking serious.

 

Brian sat down in wonderment.  “That kid is something else,” Brian thought, “But he keeps life interesting, and he’s worth it.”

 

Justin returned to the loft in just a little under an hour.

 

“Am I going to find out why I got stood up and abandoned or is that some great big secret?” Brian asked.  Justin didn’t seem to hear him.

 

“I know we were supposed to go to the diner to eat, Bri, but can we please stay here?” Justin asked, “I’m waiting for a phone call and I’d rather get it here.”

 

“OK,” Brian agreed, “But there is something up, I figure.  Can I help?”

 

Justin smiled at him.  “I’m sorry, Honey,” Justin said, “You know how I get excited about nothing a lot of times.  This is just something we’ll probably be laughing about after I get the call I’m expecting.  Let’s eat in the meantime and I’ll tell you all about it when I know what to tell you.”

 

So they ate with just a touch of tension in the air.  But they talked of other things and enjoyed a reasonably pleasant meal.

 

They were just finishing the dishes when the phone rang and Justin dashed to answer it.  Brian heard Justin’s side of the conversation.  Justin said “Yeah,” “I was afraid of that,” “Shit,” and “Thanks,” in that order.  Then he hung up.

 

Justin lit the fireplace and beckoned Brian to join him in their usual places.  “Is there any way we can get out of going to Hunter’s party?” he asked Brian.

 

“I don’t see how,” Brian replied, “And I sure don’t know why.  You’re going to have to do some talking, Baby.  I thought you liked Hunter since you decided he wasn’t chasing me any more, which I doubt he ever was.  What the hell is going on?” 

 

“It’s not Hunter, Sweetheart, I do kind of like him in an unconventional way.  And you know I love Mikey and Ben, and wouldn’t hurt their feelings for anything.  It’s Hunter’s boy friend, Brian.  Hunter’s boy friend is Malcolm.”

 

“Malcolm?” Brian responded in disbelief, “Our Malcolm?  The little creep who loves artists and violinists, Shakespearean actors, and guys with Italian names?  That Malcolm?  Hunter’s boy friend is that Malcolm?”

 

“Yep,” Justin confirmed.  “It’s our Malcolm all right.  I saw him with a kid that looked like Hunter last week but they were pretty far away and I didn’t think any more about it until you told me about Hunter’s new guy and it all came back.  I did some checking while I was out but the phone call confirms it.  Our Hunter is running around with our Malcolm.”

 

“Then we have nothing to worry about, Honey,” Brian said. “If Malcolm is with Hunter, that won’t be a problem for us.  This whole business is probably just a funny coincidence.”

 

“For a former man of the world, Brian Sweetheart,” Justin told him, “You can be pretty naïve.  I was a stalker once and I know how to arrange funny coincidences.  You even accused me of that a couple of times but I never admitted it till now.  And Malcolm is a much more experienced stalker than I ever was.”

 

“First of all, Sunshine, I am not a former man of the world.  You may have deprived me of my freedom but not of my man of the worldship.” Brian stated, “But you think he might be after you again?”

 

“Maybe,” Justin acknowledged, “It could be Mikey or Ben he has his eye on.  Maybe it is Hunter he’s interested in, but it might even be you.” 

 

“How could it be me?” Brian asked, “Malcolm doesn’t hardly even know me.”

 

“Yes he does, Brian,” Justin said, “I see him a lot at the Institute because he’s in art too.  He’s always asking if we are still together and checking to see if I’m still wearing your ring.  I even asked him one time which one of us he was interested in, and he said either one of us would be better than the guy he had.”

 

“Which guy was that?” Brian asked with amusement.

 

“Whatever guy he had that day, Brian,” Justin replied, “For a man of the world you require a lot of explanation.”

 

“But he must have been going with Hunter for at least two weeks.  Maybe he’s ready to settle down?” Brian reasoned.

 

“Shit, Brian,” Justin answered, “If Malcolm really liked Hunter, he probably would have ditched him already.  There has to be more to it than you suspect.  Guys who run around with a new partner every night don’t just decide to settle down.”

 

“Honey,” Brian teased, “I used to run around with a new partner every night, but somehow or other, I decided to settle down, or even more likely, you decided for me.”

 

“But not until you were old,” Justin teased back.

 

“You’re right, Honey,” Brian retorted, “And we all know that young people are just not able to settle down.  It’s not in their nature.”

 

“Cut it out, Brian,” Justin asked him, “I like to argue with you this way when I’m winning, but I’m losing now.  It’s too hard to compete with a man of the world.”

 

“Well what do you think, Baby?” Brian asked him.

 

“I think there’s a chance that Malcolm might be using Hunter to get to one of us.  It’s not likely but it’s possible.  I guess we’ll just have to go to the party and see.  If he follows us home we’ll know.”

 

“We won’t know which one of us he’s stalking though?” Brian surmised.

 

“We can go home separately by different routes and see who he follows,” Justin suggested.

 

“Sweetheart,” Brian told Justin, “You really are devious.  I guess you are a man of the world too.  Do we go to the party though?”

 

“Yeah,” Justin decided, “And whatever happens, happens.  We’ll just have to deal with whatever happens.  Maybe he does really like Hunter, but don’t bet on it.  Let’s just wait and see.”

 

“We men of the world can handle anything that comes along.  At least together we can.” Brian told him, “But this discussion has really worn me out.  Is it ‘later’ yet, Baby.”

 

“Oh yeah,” Justin answered, “It’s been ‘later’ for a long time.”


	61. Chapter 61- Changes

Justin and Brian entered the loft together late one evening and Brian turned on the fireplace immediately.  They had attended a Pitt basketball game earlier to watch Daphne’s boy friend, Andrew, who was one of the mainstays of the team.  The guys had been following his career with special interest because of their connection with Daphne but they knew and liked Andrew too.  After the game, they had invited Daphne and Andrew to Gino’s to celebrate the victory.  Brian was now interested in how Justin was dealing with the news they had received there.

 

When they got themselves settled on the floor facing the fake fire, Brian gave Justin a chance to start the conversation but Justin did not say anything, so they sat for a while in silence.  Brian then decided to broach obliquely the subject he had on his mind.

 

“I don’t see how it’s possible for people to decide to become engaged at some future date,” be began,  “It seems to me that once you decide to become engaged, you’re really planning to get married, and that makes you engaged already.”

 

“It’s not really a surprise though, Brian,” Justin answered, “They’ve been going together for over a year now.  It’s hard for them to have an engagement party while Andrew’s playing, so they’re postponing the announcement till after the season.  But since they’ve decided to get married, I guess they are technically engaged already.”  Then Justin tousled Brian’s hair as he continued, “ Thanks, Honey.”

 

“Thanks for what?” Brian responded.

 

“For worrying about me,” Justin told him, “For caring about me.  For thinking that the engagement might bother me.”

 

Brian squeezed the blond kid closer to him.  “Did it?” he asked.

 

“I guess it did some,” Justin admitted, “I was surprised and not surprised at the same time.  You know Daphne has always been special to me.  She was my best friend till you came along.  I could always tell her anything, just like I can tell you anything now.”

 

“Will that need to change?” Brian wondered.

 

“I hope not,” Justin told him.  “At St. James, I saw her every day and we talked a lot more than we have recently.  That’s already changed, but I still talk to her by phone at least once a week if I don’t see her.  Next to you, she knows me better than anybody else in the world.  She’s always been a help when I’m in trouble.”

 

“You,” Brian smiled, “In trouble?”

 

“Cut it out, Brian,” Justin smiled back, “You’re supposed to be comforting me, not picking on me.  You know, if it hadn’t been for Daphne, I might have given up on you when you told me to.  She was the one who convinced me to fight for you.”  
  
”And here I always thought she liked me,” Brian teased.

 

“Well she does,” Justin admitted, “From the first time she met you, she liked you.  But the very first time she saw you she said you were too skinny.”  Actually, Justin remembered that Daphne had thought he looked “old and skinny,” but the kid decided “skinny” was enough to share with Brian right then.

 

“Well she ought to like me better now,” Brian opined wistfully, “But I was never too skinny.”

 

“You were always just right for me,” Justin told him, “And you still are.”  That assurance led to a pause in the conversation.

 

“It’s going to stay the same for me and Daphne, Brian,” Justin said, breaking the silence, “Andrew isn’t the least bit jealous of me, and he has no reason to be.”

 

“That’s very true,” Brian replied, “I’m not jealous of Daphne.”

 

Justin laughed at that remark.  “I’d like to punch you one, Bri,” he said, “But I’m using both arms to hold you and I’d rather do that, so you’re lucky this time.”

 

“Yeah,” Brian replied contentedly, “I am lucky.”

 

“It’s not like we’re married or anything,” Justin returned to the subject, “But us being together didn’t bother my relationship with Daphne, and it didn’t bother your friendship with Michael either, did it?”

 

“Justin, Baby,” Brian grinned, “It’s true that we’re not officially or legally married, but it still seems to me that you’re just a little off in that last statement. It definitely is ‘like we’re married.’  I don’t think you could be any more possessive if we were married.  You sure don’t need a license to be possessive.”

 

“Give me a minute, Sweetheart,” Justin requested, “While I decide whether it would be worth it to let go of you just long enough to get a fist free to let you have it.”

 

At that point Brian unfairly affected Justin’s decision by leaning over and kissing him.  Justin recognized the ploy but decided not to complain.  Neither did he let go of Brian to free up a fist.

 

“No,” It was Brian’s turn to return to the subject, “Michael and I are as close as ever.  I count on him and he counts on me.  We will always be there for each other.  I’ve got you and he has Ben, but there is still a special bond between us.  And neither you or Ben is upset about that.”

 

“Which proves how non-possessive I am,” Justin retorted.

 

“You’re right, Baby,” Brian sighed, “Just like you always think you are.”

 

The fireside chats that took place between Justin and Brian were prone to lulls in mid-conversation and such a lull followed here.  But the conversation usually resumed as if it had never been interrupted.

 

“Andrew will probably play pro ball,” Justin picked up their talk, “And they may have to move out of Pittsburgh, but with the phone and e-mail, I’ll always be able to keep in touch with them.  It’s going to be all right.”

 

“I think it will,” Brian answered, “And I’m glad you think it will.  I just thought at first you were a little uncomfortable when you heard the news.  It will be over a year till the wedding though so there’ll be plenty of time to get used to the idea.”

 

“I was a little upset at first,” Justin told him, “I’m glad you made me talk about it.  I’m glad you always seem to know what I need.  It’s just that my life is just about perfect right now and I don’t want anything to change.”

 

“But things have changed, Kiddo,” Brian reminded Justin, “And they’re going to keep changing.  There have been other changes, even since we’ve been together, and we’ve lived through all of them.  We can get through whatever we need to get through.”

 

“Yeah,” Justin replied, “You’re right.  Just like you always are.  I know I can get through anything as long as I have you to help me.”

 

“Well you will, Baby,” Brian told him, “You’ll always have me.  I don’t intend to ever let you get away.”

 

Justin shoved his blond head deeper into Brian’s shoulder and smiled at him.  “You know, Bri, I really love it when you get possessive,” he whispered.


	62. Chapter 62 - Celebrating Holidays

The fireplace was lit.  The guys were in position.  It seemed like a pleasant but uneventful evening was ahead.  But it wasn’t.

“St. Patrick’s day is coming up,” Justin announced to Brian,  “You’re all Irish and I’m a good part Irish so will we be celebrating it?”

 

“You know I celebrate all holidays – any holiday,” Brian smiled at him, “It’s better than listening to you whine about not celebrating.  So in a way, you are the reason I celebrate the season.”

 

“Well it’s just that we didn’t do much for Valentine’s Day so I wondered ….,” Justin remarked before being interrupted.

 

“What do you mean we didn’t celebrate Valentine’s Day?” Brian protested, “Didn’t we exchange cards and gifts?  I asked you if you wanted to go out to dinner and you said the restaurants would be too crowded.  Isn’t that celebrating Valentine’s Day?”

 

“Brian,” Justin groused, “You gave me paint brushes for Valentine’s Day.  Now that’s really romantic.”  
  
”You said you needed paint brushes, Baby,” Brian gritted his teeth ever so slightly, “And they are the best paint brushes made.”

 

“The best paint brushes made are not very romantic, Sweetheart,” Justin responded, “You may as well have given me a vacuum cleaner.”  
  
”Why the hell would I give you a vacuum cleaner?” Brian wondered, “I have never seen you using a vacuum cleaner.  The cleaning ladies do the vacuuming, and when you happen to spill something, I do the sweeping.”

 

“That’s because you said vacuuming helped build up your muscles,” Justin came back, “You are so vain about your body.”

 

“Tell me that the day you comb your hair in less than twenty minutes, Twink,” Brian replied.

 

“Well I gave you a five-pound box of imported chocolates for Valentine’s Day,” Justin remarked, changing the subject while checking his hair.  “That was romantic.”

 

“Honey,” Brian reasoned, “I will never use the paint brushes that I gave you.  On the other hand, you ate about four pounds out of the five pounds of candy you gave me.  It was all gone in a week.”  
  
”Well, you eat candy so slow that it was bound to go moldy, “ Justin reasoned back, “That candy was too good and too expensive to let it get moldy.”

 

“I only eat one or at most two pieces a day,” Brian told him, “It’s that obsessive vanity about my body.”

 

“Well then it’s a good thing I helped you with that candy, Brian, “ Justin told him, “But I don’t know why we’re talking about Valentine’s Day, “ Justin questioned, “I asked about St. Patrick’s Day.”

 

“Maybe you better decide what we’ll do,” Brian said, “But I guess we could go to Gino’s for dinner.”

 

“Gino’s is pretty Italian for an Irish holiday,” Justin remarked.

 

“It’s renamed O’Gino’s for St. Patrick’s Day, Baby,” Brian insisted, “So it’s Irish at least for that one day.  Remember Gino wanted you to make him some Irish table decorations and you were too busy on some other projects and you sent Malcolm up to do them?  So Gino’s will be Irish on St. Patrick’s Day.  You’ll probably order spaghetti anyway but if you’d feel more Irish at Hoolihan’s, you can get your spaghetti there.  Gino’s is better though.”

 

“I think Hoolihan’s,” Justin decided, “It’s more Irish.”

 

“Well I was thinking we ought to stop up at Gino’s sometime and see Malcolm’s decorations in any case,” Brian added, “Malcolm may feel insulted if we don’t.  After all, you got him to do them”

 

“I don’t think that’s necessary,” Justin told him.

 

“You know,” Brian smiled at the kid, “I ‘m beginning to think it is.  Is there something you’re not telling me?”

 

“What ever gave you that idea, Bri?” Justin protested.

 

“Because I know you too well, little Justin,” Brian pointed out, “Now are you going to tell me or am I going up to Gino’s myself this week and see what it is you don’t want me to see?  It has to be something about Malcolm’s decorations.”

 

“I wish I hadn’t even brought up the subject of St. Patrick’s Day, Brian,” Justin admitted, “That little fink Malcolm painted my face on an elf.  It was supposed to be a surprise but some of the other guys warned me.”

 

“I think that’s kind of funny, Kiddo,” Brian laughed, “I’m sure Malcolm didn’t mean anything by it.  The best thing to do would be a good sport about it.  We ought to go up and see it.”

 

“No,” Justin insisted.

 

“OK, Baby,” Brian answered, “But I am surprised that with your great sense of humor you don’t see anything funny in this at all.  I hope you’ll cut Malcolm some slack though.  I’m sure he didn’t mean anything insulting.  He is a bit far out but he likes you.”

 

“Brian,” Justin concluded, “Living with you has its problems.  Please don’t go up to Gino’s, and let’s drop this subject.”

 

“What’s up, Baby?” Brian responded, “It’s not like you to get so upset about something like this and you are pretty upset.  I don’t want you to be upset.  I want to know what’s wrong and I want to know all of it.”

 

“He painted me and Hunter as elves, Brian,” Justin complained, “And Mikey, Ben and you as leprechauns.  I could kill him.”

 

“Not if I get him first, the little creep,” Brian replied.  “Maybe we shouldn’t let Mikey and Ben know, though.  They aren’t as reasonable as we are.”

 

“They know,” Justin told him, “Hunter found out and he thought he better tell them before somebody else did.  Mikey said I should never lie to you, but he also said it would be better if you didn’t know.  I’m sorry I brought up St. Patrick’s Day but I was afraid you might want to go to Gino’s and I was trying to avoid that.  I knew you’d be mad.”

 

“Because of my obsessive vanity, I suppose,” Brian laughed.  “Honey, the more I think about it, the less mad I get.  You ought to be glad Malcolm is around.  He makes you look pretty good.”

“If I only look good to you compared to Malcolm, Brian,” Justin told him, “Then I really am upset.’

 

“Baby,” Brian consoled him, “I picked you, or let you pick me, or whatever, long before Malcolm came into the picture at all.  I’ve seen just about all the guys there are and you are the only one I want.  It doesn’t matter to me if you’re an elf on Gino’s decorations, and if I have you, I don’t really care if I’m a leprechaun.”

 

“You’re right, Brian,” Justin decided, “You’re always right.  I shouldn’t get upset at little things.  You know, I wasn’t really upset about me.  I was upset about you.  Maybe I’m a little bit obsessed about your body too – or maybe just about you.  I don’t want anybody picking on you.”

 

“Does Malcolm know that we know what he’s done?” Brian asked.

 

“Oh, yeah,” Justin responded, “He did it as a joke but he doesn’t think it’s so funny now.  He’s scared out of his wits.  He’s afraid you’ll kill him and that Mikey and Ben will foul things up for him with Hunter.  He really is crazy about Hunter and vice-versa.”

 

“Like us, maybe?” Brian wondered.

 

“Nothing could be like us, Bri,” Justin told him,   “Can I please put my head on your shoulder?”

 

“I can’t think of any better place for it,” Brian encouraged him, “But I don’t understand why you think you have to ask.”

 

“I know you love me, Brian.” Justin whispered,  “If you didn’t love me you would never have had the guts to give me paint brushes on Valentine’s Day.”

 

“Or take you to Gino’s for St. Patrick’s Day?” Brian whispered back.

 

“You got it,” Justin smiled at him.

   

P.S.   For those readers who think the story above is not finished, Brian and Justin did go to Gino’s on St. Patrick’s Day.  They saw themselves in the decorations but nobody else seemed to notice.  Nobody paid much attention to the decorations at all.  Even Gino hadn’t noticed, and Nancy, the wise-cracking waitress who had a kind of a “thing” for Justin, didn’t notice either.  Brian and Justin were surprised at that.  

Justin ordered lasagna which further surprised Brian, but not so much as when he turned down Gino’s offer to refill his platter.  Brian decided that it would take a lifetime to figure out the twink, but concluded that it would be an interesting and happy lifetime.  Justin learned that, when things aren’t broken, it’s not a good idea to try to fix them.  He didn’t like the lasagna all that well.       


	63. Chapter 63 - Saturday Night

Justin was patiently waiting in the loft for Brian to get home from the office.  Finally the door opened and Brian entered, smiling at him.  Justin smiled back, but then Brian’s cell phone rang and he answered it. 

It was Michael.  Justin knew that, because Brian’s face took on a special look when he talked to Michael on the phone.  Justin wondered if Brian was remembering the old days when he talked to Mikey – and maybe even missing them a little.  But Justin could always tell from Brian’s face if it was Mikey, and that caused him to wonder.

 

Justin did not hear the conversation as Brian threw down his briefcase and shed his jacket but he watched Brian’s face and wondered.  Brian had given up so much for him.  But Brian seemed to be happy with the status quo, Justin told himself.

 

When Brian hung up the phone though, and looked over at Justin, the smile was gone.  Justin didn’t know what to say but he didn’t have to say anything.

 

“Sunshine,” Brian said, “You are about to hear something from me that you haven’t heard before so listen carefully.  I – am – mad – at - you.”

 

“But you never get mad at me.  I’m the one who’s always getting mad, but that’s OK because we both know I can’t stay mad at you for more than an hour,” Justin stammered back.  “You usually just smile at me even when I am at my most infuriating, and I haven’t done anything now.  Did Mikey tell you something?  He wouldn’t.  He’s my friend too.  And there’s nothing to tell.  I haven’t done anything.  I don’t want you to be mad at me.  You’re mean enough to stay mad for hours.”  Maybe that wasn’t the best way to phrase his objection, but Justin had not thought the matter through.

 

“Saturday night,” Brian told him.

 

“What about Saturday night?” Justin replied.

 

“It was your idea that we always spend Saturday night together,” Brian answered, “It’s a good idea and I like it, but it was your idea, and we’ve always done it except that once when I had the business emergency.”

 

“And I didn’t complain about that, Brian,” Justin protested, “What are you talking about?”

 

“You made plans for this Saturday night,” Brian accused him.

 

“No I didn’t,” Justin defended himself.

 

“So Mel and Linz aren’t going to some lesbo dinner on Saturday night?” Brian wondered.

 

“Yeah, they are,” Justin said.  “And I promised that we would take care of Gus that evening but it was going to be both of us taking care of him.  We were going to be together.  You can’t be mad about that, Honey.  Gus is your son and we both love him.”

 

“You didn’t tell me,” Brian complained.

 

“I forgot last night, Brian,” Justin explained, “I intended to tell you tonight, but I still don’t see why that would make you mad at me.  And how does Mikey’s phone call fit into the situation?  I don’t get the whole picture, so you have to tell me what’s really going on before I try to weasel my way out of this, whatever it is.”

 

Brian had to stifle a smile.  The truth was that he didn’t think he could stay mad at Justin for any longer than Justin could stay mad at him.  Brian did not think however that Justin needed to know that.

 

“You just might have a point, Baby,” Brian admitted, “I guess I shouldn’t blame you for ruining something if you didn’t know you were ruining it?”

 

“Well that makes me feel a lot better, Sweetheart,” Justin replied, “But it doesn’t actually explain very much.”

 

“It’s just that I had something set up for us too,” Brian told him.  “Mikey and I had a big party planned for you this Saturday night at Woody’s.  It was just for guys.  Mikey, Ben, Hunter, Vic and his boy friend, Ted and Emmett, Ethan and Tom, and some other guys you go to school with that Ethan was rounding up for us.  We invited Malcolm separately from Hunter just in case they’re not still together by then, but it would be good if they are.  Mike and Ben would get to know some of the guys Hunter is meeting through Malcolm too.  That was the plan.    Then Mikey heard from Linz about your baby-sitting plans and called me”

 

“And this party was for me?” Justin puzzled, “What’s the occasion?”

 

“No special occasion,” Brian responded.  “Actually I guess it was Mikey’s idea, but I thought it was a good one.  He said we didn’t know your friends from school and it might be nice to get them all together.  Then we asked Daphne and she thought you would like it.  So we went ahead.”

 

“I would like that.  I really would.  That was so nice of you, Brian, and Mikey  too.  You guys are great.” Justin said, “And that’s what this is all about.”

 

“Actually one thing more.  I guess I may as well tell you that too.” Brian confessed,  “You know how weird Mikey is.  He told me there is a special look on my face when I talk about you, and that it was about time I let you know how much I – admire – you.”

 

Justin threw his arms around Brian who returned the favor enthusiastically.  “Mikey doesn’t know,” he told Brian.

 

“No, he doesn’t,” Brian agreed.

 

“Then you’re not mad at me?” Justin wanted to make sure.

 

“Not too much,” Brian kissed him, “But maybe just a little bit, and that could last for hours since I’m so mean.”

 

“Maybe we can get Deb or Vic to baby-sit Gus just this once,” Brian added. “I don’t think we can cancel the party.”

 

“Oh no,” Justin agreed quickly, “We can’t cancel the party but I wish we could have Gus too.  Linz already promised him he would be with us on Saturday and we don’t want to disappoint him either.”

 

So Brian and Justin were reconciled, but the dilemma remained.  It might have been better if they had worked on that together but they didn’t.  They both did some thinking about the matter though, searching for a solution.

 

It was a while later that they lit the fireplace and got themselves into position to watch the fake flames fly.  When discussion began, Brian opened the conversation.  “I think I have solved our problem for Saturday night,” he told Justin, “I called Mel and Linz about the party and they said it would be all right to take Gus along to the party if we wanted to.”  He smirked as he continued, “They said that since the party was for you, they were sure it would be suitable for Gus.”

 

“That was a neat idea, Honey,” Justin admitted, ignoring the pretended sarcasm,  “But I had a solution too and Daphne, Mikey and Ethan thought it would work.  They’re making the arrangements right now.  Your solution was ingenious but if you don’t mind, could we use my solution since it’s my party we’re talking about?”

 

“What else?” Brian agreed, “But your solution better be as good as mine.  When can I expect to hear what it is, or will I have to wait till Saturday?  Then I’ll be the one surprised at the party and not you.”

 

“Of course you won’t have to wait till Saturday,” Justin began, but this time it was his cell phone that rang.  It was Mikey telling him that everything Justin had suggested had worked out.

 

“That was Mikey, Brian, and everything has been taken care of,” Justin told Brian.

 

“And?” Brian wanted to know.

 

 “The party is being moved from Woody’s to Chuckie Cheese,” Justin announced.

 

“Chuckie Cheese,” Brian laughed.  “The whole world is going to find out that Brian Kinney hosted a party for his boy friend at Chuckie Cheese.”

 

“Guess so, “ Justin laughed back at him, “You don’t mind, do you?”

 

“No, I don’t mind,” Brian told him, “If you’re not embarrassed, why should I be?  But it wouldn’t make one iota of difference if I did mind.  Since I’m so mean though, I am going to stay just a little bit mad at you for a few more hours, but I will definitely get over it, Sunshine.”

 

Justin decided he would have to accept that decision on Brian’s part, so they just sat quietly for a while.

 

“You know,” Brian finally broke the silence, “Mel and Lindsay really had something there.”

 

“What are you talking about, Brian?” Justin asked.

 

“If a party is suitable for you, it’s suitable for Gus,” Brian told him, “And vice-versa.”


	64. Chapter 64 - Performing Arts

Brian and Justin were huddled together in front of the fake fireplace.  It was one of the happiest things they did together.  They had been sitting in silence for quite a while.  Brian had an enigmatic smile on his face. 

“Brian, “ Justin addressed him, “What is that silly grin all about?  Are you getting ready to try to pull something on me?”

 

“No,” Brian responded, “Quite the opposite, my dear Justin.  You are the one who is about to try to pull something on me.  I am smiling because I know you so well now that you can’t sneak up on me with any of your crazy ideas.  I’m onto you, Sunshine.  I think I’ve finally got your number.”

 

“Your suspicious mind could hurt my feelings, Bri,” Justin grumbled, “I’ve learned to put up with it though.  But I still don’t see why you have to be so suspicious.”

 

“I haven’t been suspicious of you for over a week,” Brian laughed, “But I can tell you’re up to something now.  I also know you spent some of today working on _Rage_ with Mikey and I know you spent part of the day with Mel and Linz..  They get some crazy ideas too but if I’m involved they always bring them to you first.  They must think you have some kind of a spell on me so that I do whatever you want me to do.”

 

“Now that is a really crazy idea, Brian,” Justin protested.

 

“No it isn’t,” Brian responded, “Sometimes I think you do have some kind of a spell on me that makes me do what you want me to do.  They could be right about that.  So why don’t you just get on with it and tell me what’s up?”

 

“And what if nothing is up, Smart Guy?” Justin asked.

 

“Then we’ll just sit here and enjoy being together.” Brian speculated, “You won’t try to get me to do something weird, and I’ll apologize to you at the end of the evening.”

 

It was a little while before Justin responded to that challenge.  “Brian,” he asked, “Do you remember when I displayed some of my stuff at the Gay-Lesbian Center?  It was the first time I had ever exhibited and you came to see it.”

 

“Yeah,” Brian told him, “I remember.  That was when Lindsay was getting me to do what you wanted me to do.   I met your mother for the first time at that exhibit.  She didn’t like me.  So they’re doing it again, are they? And you want me to pose for some drawings?”

 

“Don’t be silly, Brian,” Justin smiled, “I am going to donate some stuff and I want you to help me pick out what to show.  Maybe we should skip pictures of you this time.  I would never need you to pose for me though.  I have you completely memorized so I don’t ever need you to pose.”

 

“Memorized and mesmerized, I guess,” Brian answered.  “You know I’ll go with you.  So why do I think there’s more?”

 

“Well there is more, Honey,” Justin went on.  “They are adding a performing arts component to the exhibition.  Ethan and Tom are going to perform.  Malcolm and some of the dramats are going to put on some skits.  Stuff like that.”

 

“You’ll notice that I’m not smiling now, Kiddo,” Brian countered, “What the hell have you got me signed up for?  So I played Laertes in _Hamlet_ twice.  I am not a performer.  I have never been a performer.”  Then Brian thought a bit and added, “I’m sorry, Baby. I guess I am getting paranoid.  You just want help on the advertising, don’t you?”

 

“Yeah, we do need help on the advertising,” Justin allowed.  The silence that followed made Brian slightly uneasy.

 

“You know what Mikey thought, Bri?” Justin broke the silence.

 

“No, but I’d like to,” Brian laughed despite his apprehension.  “Mikey doesn’t do all that much thinking so it’s always interesting to know when he does.”

 

“Mikey thought that you and him might play your guitars at the festival.  Linz and Mel thought that was a great idea,” Justin told him.  “I know you guys used to do that in high school but I’ve never heard you.  I would really like to see you two in action.  You still have your guitar in the storage area.  How about it, Honey?”

 

“The last time Mikey and me played together, we got in trouble,” Brian said, “Dr. Dave was mad at Mikey and Deb was furious with both of us.  Even Vic was mad at us and he understands us better than anybody.  He knows we get crazy sometimes.”

 

“I remember when that happened and the trouble was not about your playing, Bri,” Justin protested, “It was about a lot of other things but it was not about your playing.  Ben will be there this time and so will Deb and me so you can play your brains out and we will all enjoy it.  Please, Brian.  It sounds like fun.”

 

“OK,” Brian told him.

 

“OK?” Justin wondered.  “Just like that.  OK?”

 

“Yep,” Brian replied. “Just like that.  If you want me to do it, I guess I have to do it since you have this spell on me, but I don’t have to give you the pleasure of cajoling me into doing it.  Maybe I’ll actually enjoy myself, Sunshine.  At least I can try.  That was a good idea Mikey had.  He was overdue.  You guys all think I’m always going to be against everything that comes along.  I don’t know why that is.  I guess that’s part of the ‘reputation’ that you keep telling me I don’t deserve.  You should know me better than that, Baby.  But Brian Kinney is no drama queen so I’m not going to make a big fuss about it.  I’ll just grin and bear it.”

 

“Now you’re making me feel guilty, Brian, but you’re right,” Justin admitted, “I’m sorry.  We do always expect you to resist everything, and I should know better.  Actually I do know better and that’s why I feel so guilty.”

 

“Don’t feel guilty, Twink,” Brian consoled him, “You’re still learning about me and I guess I am kind of hard to understand, but you are learning.  You’re OK as far as I’m concerned.”

 

That seemed to satisfy Justin.  He pushed closer to Brian and a period of silence followed.

 

A smile lit up Justin’s face a little while later, as he jabbed a light elbow into Brian’s ribs.  “Brian Kinney,” he accused, “You are so a drama queen.  That last spiel was a blatant play for sympathy and you almost got away with it.  You do resist everything and you certainly can put on a performance.  You are quite a performer when you want to be.”

 

“Now what about my feelings?” Brian complained, “I can get hurt feelings from unjust allegations too, just like you do.”

 

“Forget it, Bri,” Justin laughed at him, “We’re all willing to put up with you, and we all love you, me especially, but forget about getting any sympathy for doing what you want to do anyway.”

Brian smiled at the twink.  “OK, Kiddo,” he admitted, “I guess sometimes you are onto me.  But I’ve got something I want you to do too.”

 

“Don’t I always do everything you want me to do, Honey?” Justin recalled, “Whether I want to or not.”

 

“Do you mind if I don’t answer that question?” Brian grinned, “And if you don’t want to do this, just say ‘No” and that will be it.  I brought home chocoholic ice cream with peanut butter and marshmallow stripes from the Make Yer Own Ice Cream Factory.  I thought we could share it.  We haven’t done that for a while.  I like sharing ice cream with you, but if you don’t want to ….”

 

“No chopped almonds?” Justin wanted to know.

 

“They’re there,” Brian laughed, “Do you think I’d leave out the chopped almonds and have to put up with your drama queen routine?  I guess I have my faults but I’m not crazy.”  
  


“Brian,” Justin told him, throwing both arms around Brian’s neck, “I love you and you’re perfect even with all of your faults.  You and ice cream are two of my favorite things in the whole world.  And you know very well that sharing ice cream with you is a pleasure I would never turn down.  We have some great ice cream memories.  Let’s get at it.”

 

“I guess that will give us a another chance to practice our performing arts too,” Brian mused.


	65. Chapter 65 - High Strung

“No, “ Brian was telling Justin in the firmest tone he could muster, “No, no, no, no, no.  Am I making myself clear?” 

“I guess you’re saying you’re against the idea,” Justin responded, “You’re not usually quite that negative about anything so I’m not even going to ask you why.  It just occurred to me that ….”

 

“It did not just occur to you, Baby,” Brian interrupted, “Mikey put the idea into your head.  I heard him.  ‘You ought to learn to play the guitar, Boy Wonder,’ he told you, ‘ I’m sure Brian would be glad to teach you.’  Now there’s a real friend for you.”

 

“That’s not fair, Brian.  Mikey knew how impressed I was with you guys playing at the Gay-Lesbian Center.  So did you.  Everybody was impressed,” Justin countered, “And I saw how much fun you were having.  I thought I’d like to do that too.  Mikey had no way of knowing you were going to go ballistic about it.  Neither did I.  It’s just that I thought I’d like to be up there playing with you.  We’ll just forget about it.  I’m sorry I even brought the matter up.”

 

“You don’t even like the kind of music we were playing,” Brian pointed out, “And that metallic and electronic crap that you like to listen to can’t be played on a guitar.”

 

“I guess we better just drop the subject, Honey,” Justin said in return, “But you know I listen with you to those jazz programs you like on WDUQ, and I even like some of those ancient composers like Cole Porter and George Gershwin.  They can be played on the guitar, I’ll bet.  I’d really like to hear you play some of them sometime, but only if you want to.”

 

“All that guitar business takes up a lot of time that I don’t think I have, and I don’t think you have either.  And I would be a horrible teacher, Baby,” Brian told him, “You know I don’t have much patience.”

 

“Well you’ve taught me a lot in the last few years,” Justin reminded him, “And Debbie told me it was you who taught Michael how to play, and he’s really good, not as good as you are, but really good anyhow.”

 

That made Brian laugh.  “And you want me to teach you,” he tousled the kid’s hair affectionately, “But you figure you’ll end up better than me, don’t you?”

 

“Never,” Justin smiled back at him, “But if you’re afraid that’s a possibility, I can understand your position.”

 

The subject of guitars was dropped then and did not recur until later in the evening when the fireplace was blazing and the guys were snuggled together.  And it was Brian who rekindled the discussion.

 

“Sunshine,” he said to the kid, “If you really want to learn to play the guitar, that’s fine with me, but I don’t think I should try to teach you.  You could probably take real lessons at the Institute.”

 

“Oh I could learn all right,” Justin told him, “There are several guys at school who play very well.  Actually Malcolm is pretty good on the guitar and so is Ethan.  They could teach me but maybe it would be better if I just forgot about the whole thing.  It was just a crazy idea anyhow.”

 

“I don’t think I’ll ask why you have the jazz program playing on the radio,” Brian mentioned.

 

“There was nothing on TV worth watching,” Justin told him, “So I thought it might be nice for us just to sit and listen.”

 

“You won’t be bored?” Brian wondered.

 

“Bri,” Justin responded, “I have never been bored when I’m with you, and I never will be.”  Brian thought the same thing in reverse, so the two unbored guys just sat there listening happily to the soft jazz wafting in from the high-tech speakers.  That might have worked all evening if the telephone had  not disturbed their  tranquility.

 

Brian answered.  “Mikey, old fellow,” He said, making a face at Justin, “I’ve just been sitting here, doing nothing, and hoping you would call.”  Brian got up and walked about the room while engaged in his phone conversation.  “Bad idea,” he told Mikey; then  “Can’t do it” and “That just won’t work.”  The discussion went on for only a short time before Brian hung up and resumed his place next to Justin.  He didn’t say anything.

 

“You don’t have to tell me what Mikey wanted,” Justin whispered to Brian.

 

“Because you already know or because you think I don’t want to tell you?” Brian asked him.

 

“Neither one of those exactly,” Justin said, “But I think you’re wondering what to tell me or how to tell me, so I’m telling you that you don’t have to tell me at all.”

 

“Yeah, I do,” Brian decided. “Mikey got a call from Ted.  Some guy Ted works with needs a transplant and they’re doing a fund-raiser.  Ted wanted us to do the guitar thing at the benefit.”

 

“And you turned him down?” Justin seemed surprised.

 

“Baby, we’re not in the music business,” Brian explained, “We can’t be out playing guitars all the time.”

 

“You know I don’t like to argue with you, Brian,” Justin protested, “But I really think you should do it.”

 

“Actually, Sweetheart,” Brian smiled at him, “I think you do like arguing with me.  I don’t like arguing with you, but I’m pretty sure you like arguing with me.”

 

“Sometimes you don’t understand me at all, Bri,” Justin replied, “I do hate arguing with you, but I like making up, and the argument is just a necessary way to get to the making up.”

 

“You have a good point there, Twink” Brian agreed, “You  always have some objective to shoot for.  That’s why you always get what you want.”

 

“I don’t always get what I want,” Justin protested, “Actually, hardly ever.  But I think you should call Mikey back and tell him you’ll do it.  I think you’d have fun doing it and I’ll have fun being there.  I don’t want to push you into anything but I think you do want to do this.”

 

“And you really want me to?” Brian asked.

 

“Sure do,” Justin confirmed, “You’re a good guy, Brian, and you always want to help people.  I’m proud to know you, Mr. Kinney.”

 

So Brian dialed up Mikey and made the arrangements.  When he hung up this time he was laughing.  “ I know I don’t have to tell you why I’m laughing, and I probably shouldn’t, but I’m going to tell you anyhow.  Mikey told me he was pretty sure I’d change my mind if I told you about it.  Why would he say something like that?”

 

“I sure don’t have a clue, “ Justin smiled at him, “You know Mikey.  Sometimes it’s hard to figure out what he means.”

 

“I don’t think it’s so hard this time,” Brian responded with a smile on his face.

 

So the boys went back to sitting and listening to the soft jazz from the radio.  They could communicate without talking and that’s what they were doing.

 

Brian eventually broke the silence.  “I think maybe I should try to teach you to play the guitar,” he said.

 

“No,” Justin responded, “I have given up on that idea.  You don’t want to do it and I don’t ever want to push you into something you don’t want to do.”

 

“Go over to the storage room and get the guitar,” Brian ordered him.

 

“Can’t do that,” Justin told him.

 

“Sounds to me like another of your arguments so that we can make up later,” Brian figured out.  “Is that what this is?”

 

“No such thing,” Justin told him, “Just a statement of fact.  The guitar is not in the storage room.  I put it under the couch this morning.”

 

That exchange brought about a first for Brian and Justin.  They had the making up without the argument.


	66. Chapter 66 - Scrambled Egg

“You don’t know a disaster when it hits you, Baby,” Brian was telling Justin. 

We have been through some real disasters, Bri,” Justin replied, “And I knew them when I saw them.  Maybe   it’s just that you turn some little problems into disasters.  You aren’t as patient as I am, you know.”

 

“Well I’m trying to be patient with you right now, Taylor,” Brian groused, “But I don’t think it’s working.  You think this mess is funny, don’t you?”

 

“I’m sorry, Honey,” Justin admitted, “But there is something funny about this if you just look at it reasonably.”

 

“So now I’m not reasonable,” Brian objected, “First I’m turning molehills into mountains and now I’m not reasonable.”

 

Justin put his arms around Brian’s neck.  “You know anything that bothers you bothers me too,” Justin told him, “I love you, Brian, even when you are unreasonable.  We’ll face this together and we’ll get through it together, just like we get through everything together.”

 

“Geez, Twink,” Brian had to smile at him, “When you put it like that, the situation doesn’t really seem so bad.  But don’t you think for a minute that I don’t know I’m being manipulated.”

 

“Deep down, Kinney, I don’t think you mind  that so much at all,” Justin conjectured.

 

“Of course, I mind,” Brian said as he wrapped his arms around Justin, pulled the kid closer and kissed him, “But I’m used to it.  I might even be complaining about stuff just to see what you’ll do.”

 

“So I am the one who is really being manipulated, I guess, “ Justin responded,  “But I can’t say that I feel like complaining – not right now anyhow.”

 

“Then how do you think we need to play this, Mr. Know-It-All?” Brian questioned without releasing the grasp he had on the kid.

 

“Well, I think all we can do is to do our own thing and see what happens,” Justin opined, “That’s what we did at Christmas time with Mother Christmas, and that’s what we ought to do on Sunday.  It wasn’t all that bad, Brian.  The kids kind of liked Mother Christmas.  I’m sure they’ll like Miss Easter Egg just as well.”

 

“I hope you’ll admit that Miss Easter Egg is a bit of a stretch, Baby,” Brian grinned.

 

“Oh yeah,” Justin agreed, grinning back at the guy he loved so much, “I can see Mother Christmas a lot easier than I can Miss Easter Egg.”

 

“Was Daphne in on this Miss Easter Egg business like she was with Mother Christmas?” Brian wanted to know.

 

“She says not, Honey.” Justin informed him,  “Actually she was closer to thinking it was a disaster than to the reasonable approach we’re taking.  You know it’s actually her volunteer group that sponsors our holiday visits to Childrens’ Hospital.  They’ve been getting the credit for our great performances and they stand to get the blame if things don’t work out.  But nobody says ‘No’ to Debbie, and if anybody can pull Miss Easter Egg off, she’s the one.”

 

“You make me feel pretty good sometimes, Sunshine,” Brian told him.  

 

“That’s why I’m here, Honey,” Justin replied, “That’s the major goal of my life.”

 

“Yeah,” Brian said, with just a trace of doubt in his voice, but only just a trace.  And the subject was dropped for the time being.

 

It was later, when the guys were seated in front of their blazing fake fireplace, that the subject came up again.

“Don’t worry, Honey, our Easter visit to the hospital this year will be another big success,” Justin told Brian, “The kids will love it, and Miss Easter Egg will be a success too.”

 

“I still can’t help worrying about it some,” Brian admitted.

 

“Well then,” Justin consoled him, “I’ll just have to try to take your mind off the problem then, won’t I?”

 

“And how do you propose to do that?” Brian wondered suggestively.

 

“Let me think,” Justin began, but was interrupted in mid thought by the arrival of a visitor at the door.

 

“I’ll kill whoever it is,” Brian fumed, “I will.  What lousy timing.”

 

What he said to the visitor however was “Hi, Mikey.  I can’t tell you how happy I am to see you.”

 

“Probably because you aren’t all that happy to see me,” Michael replied with a grin, “Well I wouldn’t be disturbing you two lovebirds if I didn’t have good news I thought you’d want to know right away.  So I’ll give you that and get out and leave you guys to whatever awful things you have planned.”

 

“The best news you could bring would be that your mother decided not to come with us on Sunday,” Brian told him, “But we couldn’t be that lucky.”

 

“Sorry,” Michael answered him, “My mother still wants to go on Sunday.  She wouldn’t dream of disappointing you guys.  You two are her favorite people in the world – better than me even.”

 

“Yeah,” Brian said in return, “We are lovable.”

 

“Justin is,” Michael laughed, “But if you’re trying to get rid of me, let me tell you the news.  My mother will certainly be with you on Sunday, but Miss Easter Egg will not.”

 

“No Miss Easter Egg,” Brian exclaimed, “Why did she change her mind about Miss Easter Egg?”

 

“She didn’t change her mind.  My mother is not one to change her mind,” Mikey explained, “The costume broke and she can’t get it fixed in time, so she’s going along with you as a civilian.”

 

“The costume broke?” Justin interjected.

 

“How can a costume break?” Brian wanted to know.

 

“Don’t ask,” Mike responded, “I never saw the costume.  I asked Vic but he just laughed and said that he saw the costume and it was really broken.”

 

“I guess we’ll just have to take it on faith that the egg is broken,” Justin smiled.

 

“Well, I’m leaving you guys to make your own omelets, “ Mikey informed them, “Unless you insist that I stay.”

 

They did not insist that he stay because they knew Ben would be disappointed if Michael were late getting home, so the visitor headed out.

 

“The angels must be on our side for a change,” Brian exulted.  “No Miss Easter Egg.”

 

“I guess I won’t have to take your mind off that problem then,” Justin told him.

 

“But I really have a lot of other problems I need to have my mind taken off, Baby,” Brian replied,  “So maybe you should go ahead with what you were planning.”

 

“Well,” Justin began, but the interruptions were not over.  This time it was the phone.

 

“Damn,” Brian said, “Where are those angels now?”  

 

But he answered the phone.  “Deb,” he said; then “Oh that’s too bad.  Justin will be so disappointed,” then “Well we’ll do the best we can without Miss Easter Egg, but we’re very glad you can still come.”  He brought the call to a conclusion and did not have to explain to Justin what the conversation was about.

 

Justin was rolling around the floor laughing.

 

“All right, Twink,” Brian demanded, “Where were we when we were interrupted?”

 

“We were trying to cheer you up,” Justin said, still laughing, “But you have to be already cheered up by now.”  
  
”And I can see now that it is you who needs cheering up,” Brian leered at Justin.  “Want me to see if I can cheer you up?”

 

“Brian, Honey,” Justin told him, “You really know me so well.  Most people seeing me rolling on the floor laughing would not notice that I need to be cheered up.  I’m so lucky to have you.  I’d be glad if you would try to cheer me up.  I’m sure you can.”

 

Fortunately, there were no more interruptions.


	67. Chapter 67 - A Star is Born

Justin got home a few minutes before Brian did.  He just had time to check the phone messages when Brian entered.

 

“We got a phone message from Mikey, Bri,” he said to Brian who was removing his coat.  “He’s coming over to talk to us after dinner.”

 

“I wonder what that’s all about?” Brian remarked.

 

“He said it was about Hunter and Malcolm,” Justin continued, “I knew this was going to happen.  I guess Malcolm has found somebody else and ditched Hunter.  That was a sure thing eventually.”

 

“But we thought it would be coming a lot sooner than this,” Brian replied, “They’ve been together almost a month.  That’s enough time for Malcolm to have four boyfriends.  Hunter should be congratulated for establishing such a long term relationship with Malcolm.”

 

“Somehow I don’t think that will be any consolation for Hunter,” Justin smiled, “But I wonder what Mikey wants us to do about it.”

 

“There isn’t much we can do about it, is there?” Brian concluded, “I don’t think you have that much influence on Malcolm.  Now if it were me we were talking about.”

 

“Cut it out, Brian,” Justin interrupted, “You know I love you and always want the best for you, but I’m tired of your insinuations, and this is not about us, it’s about Malcolm and poor Hunter.”

 

“Well,” Brian decided, “Let’s wait till we hear what Mikey has to say.”

 

That’s what they did.  They had other matters to discuss over dinner and the subject of Mikey’s visit was not mentioned again.  Shortly after they got the dishes into  the dishwasher, an agitated Michael appeared on their doorstep.

 

“We warned you about Malcolm, Mikey,” Brian told their visitor as he was hanging up his coat.

 

“And I even talked to Hunter about it,” Justin added.  “It was bound to happen and we wonder why you’re surprised.”

 

“You did not,” Mikey protested, “This came right out of the blue.  Ben and me were shocked, and we’re not sure it’s a good idea at all.”

 

“Well, there’s not much you can do about it.  Malcolm doesn’t stick with one guy all that long,” Brian pointed out. 

 

“That’s exactly what I’m talking about.  You told me that a hundred times,” Michael responded, “That’s why we think this is so crazy.”

 

“Wait a minute, Mikey,” Brian suggested, “You’re not making any sense.  What exactly are you talking about?”

 

“What the hell do you think I’m talking about?” Michael complained, “I’m talking about Malcolm convincing Hunter that he should be an actor.  Didn’t I say that on the phone?”

 

That sent Brian and Justin into a laughing fit  “Now what the hell are you two nuts laughing about.  This is a serious matter and you dopes are standing there laughing about it.  Sometimes I don’t get you guys.”

 

“We’re sorry, Mikey,” Justin answered, still laughing, “But you didn’t say what the problem was on the telephone and we assumed that….”

 

“That Malcolm had ditched Hunter,” Michael finished Justin’s sentence for him.  “No such luck,” Michael too had a smile on his face now, “They’re as hot and heavy as ever.  But Ben and me thought Malcolm was good for Hunter until this.”

 

“And just what is this?” Brian wanted to know.

 

“He’s got Hunter into some  play over at your Institute, Sunshine, and now Hunter wants to transfer to the Performing Arts High School and study acting.” Michael explained, “That’s what this is.”

 

“Well Malcolm is certainly into dramatics, “ Justin admitted, “But maybe Hunter will like it too.  Maybe he’d really like to be an actor.”

 

“What’ll happen,” Mikey groused, “Is that Hunter’ll switch into dramatics just because of Malcolm.  Then Malcolm will disappear and then where will Hunter be?  Why does Malcolm have to get everybody into a play?  He even got you on stage, Brian.”

 

“That he did,” Brian agreed, “In a manner of speaking.”

 

“But you did it because you wanted to,” Mikey stated, “And Hunter’s doing it only because he loves Malcolm.”

 

“Actually, I only did it for love too, Michael,” Brian corrected him, “Just not for Malcolm.”  Brian looked over at the smiling Justin, expecting a complaint which did not come.  Justin was too moved to object.  So Brian went on, “But if you want us to, we’ll talk to Hunter and to Malcolm, and see what we can do.”

 

“Yeah, Mikey,” Justin added, “We’ll do what we can.  I’ll talk to Malcolm and we’ll both talk to Hunter.  Hunter can’t change schools till next term at the earliest so maybe the situation will work itself out.  He may hate acting after the play Malcolm’s got him into now.”

 

“I guess there really is no hope for a quick solution to this,” Mikey opined.

 

“Probably not,” Justin told him, “But time in on our side.  Things can change with Hunter and Malcolm in the next few months, and if they don’t by then, the situation won’t seem as scary then as it does now.”

 

“I think you’re right, Boy Wonder,” Mikey replied. “I’m glad you’re on my side.  We’ll just give this a little time and see how it works out.  I think that was what Ben wanted to do anyhow.”

 

“But, let me give you a little warning, Michael,” Brian interjected, “Watch out for Malcolm yourself.  I heard him mention that he thinks of you in an Arthur Miller, or maybe Eugene O’Neill, play.”

 

“Me. In a play?” Michael responded, “On stage?  I don’t think so, but I bet I could do it.  I have great comic timing.”

 

“Which is exactly why Malcolm sees you in an Arthur Miller or Eugene O’Neill play,” Brian assured him.

 

“Well I doubt if I’d have the time for it, what with the comic book store and _Rage_ and all.  But thanks for warning me, Brian.  I’ll think about it.  You can be mean sometimes but mostly you’re a good friend,”  Mikey answered, still a bit surprised.

 

“Thanks, Mike.  That means a lot to me,” Brian told him as Mikey put on his coat and made his departure.

 

Justin lit the fireplace suppressing a wry grin.  He didn’t say anything till he and Brian were seated on the floor watching the darting flames.

 

“Brian Kinney,” Justin declared flatly, “I’m a failure.  After all the work I’ve done on you, you are still the meanest man in the world.  How could you do that to Mikey?  You never heard Malcolm talking about putting Mikey on stage.”

 

“Well maybe I read minds like you do, Baby,” Brian defended himself, “Furthermore, I think I did more to take Mikey’s mind off the problem he had than you did.  I don’t think he was thinking about Hunter when he left.”

 

“No, he wasn’t,” Justin admitted, “He was seeing the spotlight shining on him.”

 

“And when Mikey becomes a great star of stage, screen and TV, Sunshine, we’ll look back on this night as that magic time when a star was born,” Brian told him.

 

“Cut it out, Bri,” Justin had to laugh.  “I’m beginning to think this is pretty funny too.  You’re making me feel as evil as you are.”

 

“Do you feel bad about that?” Brian asked.

 

“No,” Justin answered, “And that’s what scares me.”

 

“Good,” Brian told him.  And Justin decided he had no further argument.


	68. Chapter 68 - Break a Leg

It had been a hard day at the office and Brian was glad to be home.  He had looked forward to a quiet evening in the loft – just him and the twink – but as he hung up his coat, he spied Justin, Cheshire cat smile on his face, and almost wished he were back at work. 

“What?” he asked.

 

“What about what?” Justin replied.

 

“Spill it, Kiddo,” Brian demanded. “I know that look.  Something’s up and I’m probably not going to like it but go ahead and get it over with.”

 

“I think somebody’s mad at you,” Justin told him.

 

“What the hell do you think I’ve done now?” Brian wanted to know, “I wish you’d quit picking on me.”

 

“Ha, Kinney,” Justin remonstrated, “Always trying to blame everything on me.  Well, you’re wrong this time, Sweetheart.   It’s not me who’s mad at you.”

 

“Not you?” Brian was taken aback.  “You’re the only one who gets mad at me these days.  “Linz and Mikey used to get mad at me regularly and Debbie always used to get mad at me, but they leave the getting mad at me to you now, and you do a pretty good job of it, Sunshine.  So who the hell is mad at me?  One of them?”

 

“Nope,” Justin smiled at the perplexed Brian, “Malcolm is mad at you, I know, and I think Hunter is mad at you too, but I can’t swear to that.”

 

“Malcolm? Hunter?” Brian exclaimed.  “I don’t even know either one of them well enough for them to be mad at me.  Why would they be mad at me?  This has to be some of your doing, Taylor.”

 

“Wrong again, Honey,” Justin replied smugly, “This is all your own doing and I am completely innocent.”

 

“You are never completely innocent, Baby,” Brian reminded him, “But you are always hard to get any information out of, so if you’re going to tell me what this is all about, how about doing it?  I’ve had a hard day so far.”

 

“And the day is not over either,” Justin said, “Remember when you told Mikey that Malcolm wanted to cast him in a play, Sweetheart?”

 

“That was a joke,” Brian answered, “And you knew it.”

 

“Yep, I knew it all right but Michael did not know it,” Justin informed him, “Michael thought the whole matter over and announced to Malcolm and Hunter that he was ready to try acting.  Ben tried to talk him out of it but he told them that you knew more about the theater than any of them and that you had suggested it.”

 

“But I didn’t suggest it,” Brian protested.

 

“No you didn’t,” Justin admitted, “But when you play with fire, you can get burned, Honey.”

 

“And just how burned did I get?” Brian asked.

 

“Well,” Justin told him, “Malcolm was afraid to get him into a play at school so he found him a part in a community theater that he works at too.  It’s a new play by an unknown author and Mikey has five lines.”

 

“So I guess I did stick Malcolm with Michael.  Why would Hunter be mad at me then?” Brian wondered.

 

“Elementary, my dear Kinney,” Justin smiled at him, “Hunter is in the play too and he and Malcolm would have the rehearsal evenings together, but now they’ll be stuck with the old man around too.  Nobody wants the old man around when they’re making out – except for me who is actually making out with the old man.”

 

“You seem to be enjoying this whole thing, Twinky,” Brian groused, “Aren’t you afraid I’ll try to get even somehow?”

 

“Why do you think I’m shaking the way I am?” Justin smiled in reply.

 

“From laughter, you little rat,” Brian had to smile at him, “I will have my revenge.”  “Are Hunter and Malcolm still getting along?” Brian added.

 

“Oh yeah,” Justin informed him. “It’s the real thing.  They have even quit asking me about you, so I have two less competitors.  But I am glad for them.  They’re great together.  I hope Mikey doesn’t foul it up.”

 

“Well, I guess it isn’t all that bad,” Brian concluded, “I’ll patch things up with Hunter and Malcolm, but I guess we’ll have to go to see our Mikey in his debut role.”

 

“I think maybe I told Debbie we’d be at all six performances with her,” Justin admitted, “But I may have to miss some of them to sub for Debbie at the diner so she can go.”

 

“Sunshine,” Brian warned, “You signed me up for all the performances and you expect to get out of some of them yourself.  You may not live to see any of the performances.  Somebody might be mad at you.  Now is there anything I still don’t know.”

 

“Just one more thing,” Justin allowed, “Mikey is coming over here in about half an hour to practice his lines with you.  He thinks you’re about the best acting coach he could find, and nobody else wants to go over Mikey’s lines with him.”

 

“Well,” Brian surmised, “At least you’ll be stuck with him too.”

 

“Actually, Honey,” Justin said, “Mikey was a little nervous about an audience for the run through, so I arranged to go to a French movie with Ethan and Tom tonight.  I didn’t want Mikey to be nervous.”

 

Brian thought for a while before he walked over and turned on the fireplace.  “OK, Honey,” he said to Justin, “You win.  Enjoy your French movie.  Say ‘Hi” to Ethan and Tom for me.  Mikey and I will just sit here on the floor in front of the fire and work on his lines.”

 

“I don’t see why you need the fireplace lit,” Justin wondered.

 

“I’m sure it will put Michael at ease and he’ll do that much better with his lines.  Once we’ve done that, we can talk about old times.  I may be able to salvage this evening after all,” Brian explained.

 

“I don’t see why you need the fireplace lit,” Justin protested.

 

“When you play with fireplaces you can get burned, Baby,” Brian reminded him.  “I’ve had a hard day today and the fireplace will help to calm me down too.  It will be good for both me and Mikey.”

 

“It’s my job to calm you down after a hard day,” Justin maintained.

 

“And that’s exactly what I would want,” Brian agreed, “But Mikey will be here and you will be off to the French movie so I’ll just have to settle for second best.  I hope you’re not jealous.”

 

“Of course I’m not jealous,” Justin replied, “It’s just that … I love you Brian.  I didn’t set this situation up.  There was nothing I could do.  I’m sorry if I seemed to be enjoying what’s going on.  I really wasn’t.  I love you Brian.”

 

“Baby,” Brian smiled at the twink while pulling him close, “The fireplace will still be lit when you get home and Mikey will be gone.  You can calm me down then.  How does that sound?”

 

“Sounds pretty good to me.  But how do you expect me to enjoy the movie while I’m looking forward to that?” Justin complained.

 

“Actually, I don’t think you’re supposed to enjoy foreign films – just go and sit through them – but that is your problem,” Brian said as he kissed him, “And I think I hear mine coming up the stairs right now.”

 

Justin was leaving as Mikey entered.  “Break a leg,” Justin told the budding thespian.

 

“That means ‘good luck’ in the theater,” Brian explained to Michael.

 

“We theater people know the jargon,” Michael told him.


	69. Chapter 69 - In the Cast

It was a dull day at work.  Brian was hoping for something to happen.  It did.  Cynthia came into the office.  “Brian,” she told him, “Justin wants you to meet him in the emergency room of Mercy Hospital.  He said to be careful driving over.  It’s nothing critical but he thinks you should come.  I told him you weren’t tied up and you could leave right away.” 

With that kind of message, Brian would have left immediately under any circumstances.  “Take care driving over,” Cynthia called after Brian as he retreated through the door.  Cynthia had a kind of smile on her face.  She may have known more than she had told her boss.

 

It was difficult for Brian to be careful as he sped toward Mercy Hospital.  When he got there he rushed up to the desk.  “I’m looking for Justin Taylor,” he told the attendant.  

 

“He’s over there I think,” she answered.  Brian turned around to see Justin sitting in the waiting room perusing a magazine.  Ben and Hunter were with him.  They had not seen Brian rush in.

 

“What’s going on?” Brian asked as he hurried over to where they were sitting, “You OK, Justin?”

 

“Oh yeah,” Justin told him, “Didn’t Cynthia tell you?  It’s Mikey, Brian.  He fell off the stage at the dress rehearsal today and broke the bone in his leg just above the ankle.  They’re setting it now and he will be in a walking cast.”

 

“He was a good bit of pain coming over here,” Ben added, “And he wanted to see you, so I had Justin get the desk to call you at work to see if you could come over.  Of course he wanted me too.  Justin and Hunter were at the rehearsal when he fell and they came with him in the ambulance.”

 

“He was so wrapped up in his lines,” Hunter volunteered, “That he backed right off the stage.  A couple of guys yelled at him but he was concentrating on his speech and didn’t hear them.”

 

“No doubt of his complete dedication to the theater,” Brian commented.

 

“No,” Hunter agreed, “As the paramedics were getting ready to bring him here, he told Malcolm that he would be ready to go on for the opening tomorrow, or else you could go on in his place since you know all the lines from rehearsing with him.”

 

“Me?” Brian cried, “How does all this crap happen to me?”

 

“It isn’t your leg that’s broken, Sweetheart.  And I don’t think you have anything to worry about,” Justin consoled him, “If they let Mikey out of the hospital, he will be up there himself.  Dr. Marshall told me he thinks they’ll let Mikey go home as soon as they get the leg set.  Lots of actors have gone on in walking casts.”

 

It wasn’t long before the guys in waiting were informed that the patient had been plastered up and was ready to receive visitors.  Only one at a time though, so Ben went in first.  He wasn’t with Michael for very long before he came out.

 

“Michael wants to talk to you, Brian,” Ben said, “He wants some professional advice.”

 

Brian stifled any nasty comment that might have come into his head and he entered the room where Mikey was waiting.  He wasn’t in there very long either.  “The doctor told Mikey he can go home in a few hours,” Brian informed them all, “And he says Mikey can go on for tomorrow’s opening if he’s not in too much pain.  Mikey says he will play through the pain if necessary.  The show must go on.  Hunter, I don’t think you and Malcolm have seen the last of Mikey, the actor.”

 

“That’s what we were afraid of,” Hunter replied, “Mike really is a great guy but he cramps our style being around all the time.”

 

“You want to elaborate on that?” Ben asked Hunter.

 

“I don’t think so, Dad,” Hunter smiled at Ben, “But don’t worry.  We don’t do anything that you wouldn’t do.”

 

It wasn’t very long before Michael came hobbling out, holding on to a male attendant who seemed to smile Brian’s way.  Justin noticed that Brian seemed to smile back and jotted down a mental note.  Hunter was deputized to let Malcolm know that his maimed but still game star player would be available for the opening, and the group broke up and went their separate ways.

 

Brian and Justin had the job of stopping at the diner to tell Debbie about the day’s catastrophe and try to keep her calm.  They ate there, giving her all the answers they knew and making up those they didn’t.  They proved to be a great comfort to Deb, who was so looking forward to seeing her son on stage the next evening.

 

Later, when they got back to the loft, they lit the fireplace and cuddled together.  It didn’t take much more than that to make them deliriously happy.  

 

“Baby,” Brian accused Justin, “You told Mikey to break a leg, and he did.” 

 

“I admit I told him to break a leg, Bri,” Justin told him, “But I’m not responsible for him falling.  He only takes professional advice from you, or maybe Malcolm when he can’t get through to you, so he wouldn’t break a leg just because I told him to.”

 

“Do you think he’ll be OK for tomorrow?” Brian asked.

 

“Yeah, I think so,” Justin said in reply, “And even if he blows his lines, he’ll get a big ovation for going on with a cast on his leg.  It’s probably a no-lose situation for our pal.”

 

“Unless he backs off the stage again and breaks his other leg,” Brian conjectured.

 

“He won’t,” Justin assured him, “If he comes close to the edge of the stage, you just yell at him.  He might not hear anybody else warning him but he’ll hear your voice whatever else he’s doing.”

 

“You know about me and Mikey, Baby,” Brian said, “And you’re not jealous.  That’s something I love about you.  Not the only thing though.”

 

“On the other hand,” Justin told him, “There was that good looking male attendant that brought Mikey out.”

 

“I can’t get away with very much, can I?” Brian laughed, “Actually, I was planning to tell you about him.”

 

“When?” Justin asked jokingly.

 

“As soon as I could get you to quit talking, Honey,” Brian retorted, “ This guy was fixing Mikey up when I went in to see him.  Mikey told him I was his friend and mentioned my name.  This guy said ‘You’re not the Brian Kinney who is the living legend around Babylon, are you?’  Mikey tells him I’m the very one.  He takes a good look at me and says “Brian, I think you retired too early.  You could make a comeback any time you wanted.’”

“And you said?” Justin wanted to know.

 

“What do you think I said?” Brian queried.

 

“I have no idea what you said,” Justin told him, “But I know what you should have said.  You should have told him that you met the guy of your dreams and that you were in a committed relationship with him, that the relationship was going to last forever, and that you are so happy that you would never consider a return to your Babylon days.  Now what did you really tell him?”

 

“Do I have to tell you what I told him if I say that I should have told him what you think I should have told him?” Brian asked.

 

“No,” Justin answered as he pushed himself even closer to the greatest guy in the world.

 

“Well, actually,” Brian confessed, “What you think I should have said is darn close to what I did say.  Mikey was really impressed.  I could tell by the look on his face.  Now what did you think I told him?”

 

“Pretty much what you told him,” Justin answered.

 

“How did you know that?” Brian demanded.  

 

“By the look on your face,” Justin told him.


	70. Chapter 70 - Hunting Hunter

It was early for the fireplace to be lit, but Brian was sitting there waiting for Justin.  There were things he wanted to know. 

When Justin arrived, Brian motioned for him to take his accustomed place on the floor.  “Over here, Twink,” he ordered his blond companion, “I need to be filled in about your big success today.”

 

“Aren’t you hungry, Bri?” Justin asked, “I can tell you everything while we’re eating.  There’s a lot to tell.”

 

“Nobody eats until I hear what happened,” Brian insisted, “I had these damn meetings all day, but I think I know you were the big hero.  That’s about all I know.  I missed all the fun.”

 

“Well you got the call from Mikey this morning, so you know Hunter was missing and that he had left a note telling them not to worry, that there was something he had to do, and that he would be back in two or three days,” Justin began.

 

“I talked to Mikey from the office a little later so I know a little bit more than that, “Brian said, “But I want to hear it all from you.”

 

“Ben wondered if it could have something to do with Malcolm,” Justin went on, “So I did some checking and found out that Malcolm was gone too.” Justin told him, “That scared Mikey.  He decided that they had eloped to some place where gay marriages are allowed.”

 

“Isn’t Hunter underage?” Brian asked.

 

“He’s sixteen, Brian,” Justin said, “And that’s legal in some places.  But I didn’t think it was an elopement so I talked Mikey out of that.  They didn’t want to report Hunter missing because the custody business would be complicated if Hunter ran away.  And he didn’t really run away from them.  He loves being with them.”

 

“That’s when I talked to Mikey,” Brian told him, “He said you were really great, that you just took over and told them not to worry.”

 

“I didn’t do all that much,” Justin replied, “I just told them I could try to track down Malcolm and that Hunter was probably with him, but I didn’t think it was an elopement.”

 

“How did you think you could track him down?” Brian wanted to know.

 

“I knew that Malcolm’s parents live in Cincinnati so I decided to start there,” Justin responded, “I figured I could get their phone number and I did.”

 

“And?” Brian interjected.

 

“And I got Malcolm’s mother.  She recognized my name.  She said she had heard about me.  I wonder what she heard,” Justin laughed, “But before I could ask her any questions, she asked me if I wanted to talk to Malcolm.”

 

“They say great detective work is 95% luck,” Brian remarked.

 

“Probably is,” Justin agreed, “So I guess I’m not all that much of a hero.  Hunter was there.  I talked to him too.  Malcolm’s parents did not know Hunter was on the lam.”

 

“Hunter seems to be an experienced lammer,” Brian laughed, “But was there some reason for them to be lamming in Cincinnati?”

 

“Yeah,” Justin told him, “”Malcolm’s birthday is tomorrow and his family is throwing this big party at the country club.  They had invited an old boy friend and an old girl friend of Malcolm, so Malcolm wanted Hunter to be there too, and Hunter really wanted to be there to protect his interests.”

 

“Just one old boyfriend – just one?” Brian marveled, “That’s weirder than the girl friend as far as I’m concerned.

 

“This was a serious boy friend,” Justin told him, “It was the one Malcolm came out to his parents with, and they like him.  Malcolm really wanted them to get to know Hunter.”

 

“So why did Hunter have to run away to get there?  Couldn’t he have told all this to Michael and Ben?” Brian wanted to know.

 

“Seems he had mentioned a Cincinnati trip to them a few weeks back and they told him it was not a good idea for him to go,” Justin informed him, “He didn’t mention the date so they didn’t see the connection there.  They thought the Cincinnati thing was already over.”

 

“I think Ben should have figured it out though.  Lucky they had you.  So how come you were over at Ben and Mike’s till now?” Brian asked him.

 

“I don’t know if you’ll agree with me on this, Honey,” Justin said, “But I promised Malcolm and Hunter that I would try to fix things up with Ben and Michael so Hunter could stay for the party.”

 

“Fat chance of that, I suppose,” Brian remarked.

 

“Well, Sweetheart,” Justin explained, “Actually, I did it.  Ben was easier to convince than Mikey but I did it.  I convinced them that is was something Hunter just had to do and it would be a lot better if they cut him some slack on this.  They called Cincinnati and talked to Hunter.  All is well, the problem is solved and everybody seems to be happy.”

 

“I sometimes forget you’re a miracle worker, Baby, but Ben and Mikey have been real good to Hunter,” Brian thought, “I don’t see why he had to do that to them.  He owes them a lot.”

 

“Brian, Honey,” Justin told him, “There are some things a person just has to do.  Wasn’t there ever anything you just had to do no matter what?  A few years back, there was something I had to do.  My parents loved me and I loved them.  Then I met you.  I had to give them up to be with you and I did, even though you made it very clear you didn’t want me.”

 

“I guess I didn’t make it all that clear to you, Baby,” Brian replied, “You weren’t much for taking ‘No’ for an answer.”

 

“Because ‘No’ was not the right answer, Bri.  It wasn’t, was it?  But I did what I had to do, Brian,” Justin said, “I had to do it, and it was the smartest thing I ever did.  I was terrified but I still did it.  I understand Hunter’s situation better than you or Mikey or Ben.  He just had to do it.  It doesn’t mean he doesn’t love and respect Mike and Ben.  He just had to do it regardless.”

 

“Well you are a hero if you concocted a happy ending for this story,” Brian marveled, “Is there anything you can’t do?”

 

“Yeah, I think so,” Justin, “But I guess it would be better if I didn’t tell you what.”

 

Brian circled the kid with both arms and squeezed.  “You are something else,” he told Justin.

 

“Well, I’m gonna be a lot less after you crush me,” Justin tried to laugh.

 

“Sorry, Baby,” Brian answered, “It’s just something I  had to do.  Can’t control myself.  Want me to quit?”

 

“Not if it’s something you have to do, Honey,” Justin groaned, “Broken ribs heal.”

 

Brian loosened his grasp on the kid but noticed that Justin was still holding him tightly.  “Is there ever anything these days that you gotta do?” he asked the kid, “Or are you heroes beyond stuff like that?

 

“Yeah there is,” Justin said, “Even though I’ve really got everything I ever wanted now.  Can we please eat?  Even us heroes get hungry.”


	71. Chapter 71 - Dream Guy

Brian reached over and switched the alarm on his bedside clock to the off setting.  He was glad that he had awakened ten minutes before the alarm would have sounded because he did not want to wake up Justin.  Brian was due at the airport at 8:00AM to pick up a client from New York City for an all day meeting so he had to be up much earlier than usual, but he had hoped that he could get up without disturbing the kid.  The problem was that Justin was sprawled partially on top of Brian and it looked like a real problem to get out of bed without waking the sleeping twink. 

Brian quickly devised what he thought was the best possible course of action, and began trying to extricate himself, sliding ever so gently to his left.  But it was all in vain.  The blond head nodded and the blue eyes opened.  “Brian,” Justin complained, “You woke me up.”

 

“Well, I wouldn’t have needed to,” Brian defended himself, “If you would just stay on your own side of the bed.”

 

“You pulled me over onto your side,” Justin claimed, “And anyhow, you’re lying right smack in the middle of the bed right now, so you are at least partially on my side.  And I was having this wonderful dream too, and you ruined it.”

 

“And what, may I ask,” Brian inquired, “Were you dreaming about when I so rudely disturbed your slumber?”

 

“Didn’t I say it was a wonderful dream?” Justin responded.  “I had to be dreaming about you.”

 

“Then you have no complaint, Sunshine,” Brian countered, “You’ve got the real me now instead of the dream me so you haven’t lost anything.”

 

“Oh yeah?” Justin replied, “The dream you is a lot nicer than the real you.  The dream you does everything I want him to do.”

 

“And how is that different from the real live wide-awake me?” Brian wanted to know.

 

“Oh how you suffer,” Justin laughingly consoled him.  “Now just finish dressing and get on your way to the airport.  Maybe I can get back to sleep and finish that dream.  I would really like to see how it comes out and I’m not going to tell you what it was about.”

 

“And I’m not going to ask,” Brian stated firmly, “I would fight for you against some other guy, Baby, I really would, but I don’t see how I can fight against your dream version of me.  See you tonight.  Sweet dreams.”

 

Justin did not get back to sleep so the dream went unfinished but he lay there for another hour, daydreaming about Brian, and that was fun too.

 

Justin had a busy day, and he was a little tired when he returned to the loft about 5:00.  He knew Brian would not he home before 7:00 because the client’s plane did not depart until 5:30, and Brian had told him that the client was so important that he was going to be with her all day, making certain that nobody else from Vanguard could foul things up.

 

So Justin got his second wind, pulled out his trusty cook book and planned a special meal for Brian’s return.  The whole thing snowballed in the preparation so by the time it was all set up there was candlelight and there was wine, in addition to the elaborate dinner.  Justin was pleased with himself.  He knew Brian would be impressed.

 

It was just a few minutes after 7:00 when Brian entered the loft.  He was surprised to see the feast spread out before him.  And Justin was standing there with a smile on his face.  “I made up this little surprise for you,” he told Brian.

 

But Brian was not the only one to be surprised.  Brian was carrying flowers in his arms and another package which looked a lot like candy to Justin.  “And I brought these little surprises for you.” Brian told Justin.

 

“This is just like a dream, Brian,” Justin blurted out.  Then, on second thought, he began to laugh.  Brian was already laughing.  But actually it was a kind of dream, a fairy tale evening that neither of the guys was likely to forget.  Justin’s meal was greatly enjoyed, and Brian’s flowers enhanced the table.  It kind of reminded Justin of the first time he had prepared jambalaya for Brian.  He wondered if Brian was remembering the same thing, but he didn’t ask.  It was all so much like a dream.

 

It was a couple of hours later when the kitchen was cleaned up and the fireplace lit, that the guys got themselves into their favorites places on the floor.  The open box of candy was within reach of both of them.

 

“This is the best candy I have ever eaten Brian,” Justin told him.  “And this has turned into a really great day.  Did your all-day meeting have good results?”

 

“Yeah,” Brian told him. “Carol is a great gal.  Smart businesswoman.  We renewed our contract for three more years, and with an increased advertising budget.  The day was a great success.  The only failure I had today was waking you up when I got up this morning.”

 

“That was OK, Bri,” Justin told him, “You don’t have to compete with my dream version of you.  I love you just the way you are.”

 

“I’m not competing with any dream version of myself,” Brian responded, “I could never really be what you think I am, so I have to depend on your imagination anyhow.”

 

“Well,” Justin pointed out with a smile, “Candy and flowers.  Wasn’t that just a little overkill?  I can’t remember that last time you brought me candy or flowers, and all of a sudden both.”

 

“When was the last time I spent all day with the chief executive of the country’s biggest flowers-and-candy-by- wire concern?” Brian asked him back.

 

“Thanks a lot, real-life Brian,” Justin pretended to pout, “You always figure out some way to burst my balloon.  I thought they were just for me.”

 

“They were just for you,” Brian insisted, “The flowers wouldn’t have been any nicer or the candy any better if I had paid for them.  I brought them for you because I wanted you to have them.  You wouldn’t be picking on me if  I were the dream version, would you?”

 

Justin didn’t answer. He snuggled up to Brian and they sat for a good while in silence.

 

“You know what, Brian,” Justin finally said, “I like my dream version of you, but it’s the real you I love.  That’s the truth.  I’m going to keep dreaming about you doing all those nice things, but you’re what I love and what I want – just the way you are.  I don’t want a dream guy for real life.  I want you.  I may be sorry I told you that but it’s true and I want you to know.”

 

“I’m glad you told me, Baby,” Brian responded.  “You know I love you just the way you are too.  I don’t want any dream version of you either.  You know, when I dream of you, you never have any questions and you’re never starting any crazy projects.  But that’s not really you and you are what I want. So don’t ever change.”

It was another while till Justin resumed the conversation.  “I guess it will be a long time before I see any more flowers or candy,” he told Brian.  “Didn’t you say your contract extension with Carol was for three years?  I’ll be old by then.”

 

Brian leaned over and kissed the blond twink.  “Carol’s company sells rugs,” he told Justin.  


	72. Chapter 72 - Reviews

Both the guys had come home late that evening.  Each had eaten elsewhere, so their evening together began in front of the flames of their fake fireplace. 

Brian began the conversation. “Are you going to tell me whatever secrets Hunter told you today?”  he surprised his blond companion by asking.

 

“What makes you think Hunter told me any secrets?” Justin asked in return.

 

“You know I had dinner with Michael and Ben,” Brian smiled at him, “You were working with Mikey on _Rage_ this morning weren’t you?  Hunter came in and tried to get you off  by yourself.  He thought Mike wouldn’t notice but it’s hard to pull anything on a guy as sharp as Mikey.  So he figured you and Hunter had some secrets.”

 

“You don’t think Hunter was hitting on me, do you?” Justin laughed.

 

“What would he want with you when he already has a really young hottie like Malcolm,” Brian teased, “But I’m thinking I know what was going on.  I’ll bet Hunter was complaining because they’re nagging him about the trip to Cincinnati even though you thought you had that all patched up and taken care of.  Right?”

 

“Wrong,” Justin stated emphatically.  “When I fix things they stay fixed, Honey,” he continued, “But you might be right about a little secret.  I need to tell you what it is because I want to know what you think, but I don’t want you to run to Mikey with it right away.”

 

“I can’t promise anything like that,” Brian replied, “Unless it’s really something Mikey doesn’t need to know.  I don’t want to be part of any trick being pulled on Michael.”

 

“Not unless you’re the one pulling it,” Justin laughed.  “He’s probably going to find out about this soon enough, Sweetheart” Justin promised, “Hunter told Ben and he has some concerns too.  Hunter likes me since I fixed up Cincinnati and he thinks I’m smart so he wanted to know what I thought, and I just have to get your take on the situation.”

 

“OK, Twink,” Brian acquiesced, “Shoot.”

 

“Brian, Malcolm told Hunter that the producers at the little theater where Mikey broke his leg were so pleased with Mikey’s performance that they want to offer him a lead in their next show,” Justin revealed.  “Malcolm thinks they’re right about Mike being a natural actor, but he’s not too keen on having Mikey around all the time.  Hunter and Malcolm think Michael can be a kind of a wet blanket for their relationship if he’s there all the time.”

 

“And so they want to deprive the world of the next Laurence Olivier?” Brian mused.

 

“Who?” Justin wanted to know.

 

“Forget it,” Brian advised with a laugh, “But you said Ben knows about this.  What does he think?”

 

“Hunter said Ben’s not all that keen on the idea,” Justin informed Brian, “Ben thinks Mike has a tendency to go off the deep end sometimes.  He’s afraid that Michael will get so tied up in the acting that he’ll forget everything else.  That could be _Rage_ too so I am also involved.  And since Mikey likes to rehearse his lines with you, you have a stake in this too.  And we’re talking a large role.”

 

“You don’t have to try to frighten me into helping you if I can.  Ben is probably right about Michael, Kiddo,” Brian admitted, “But what could we do about it anyhow?”

 

“Malcolm could try to talk the producers out of asking him, Brian,” Justin suggested.  “Hunter thought maybe they should just tell the producers that Michael wouldn’t be interested.”

 

“Without telling Michael at all?” Brian replied, “Sounds like lying to me.”

 

“That’s what it sounded like to me too, Bri,” Justin admitted kind of dejectedly.

 

“And have they thought of what might happen if they did something like that and Mikey accidently found out?” Brian questioned.  “That could put a real crimp in the Hunter-Malcolm romance, I would think.”

 

“I don’t think Malcolm and Hunter have even thought of that, Bri,” Justin wondered. “That’s why I need to talk these things over with you.  You really figure stuff out.  I guess there’s not much anybody can do then.”

 

:”There is probably nothing you should do.  It’s not up to any of us to decide about Mikey’s  acting.  That should be his decision.”  Brian smiled at Justin.  “But now it’s my turn to tell you something that’s a little bit of a secret too, and it just might ease the problem that you guys have,” Brian told him.

 

“I’m all ears,” Justin replied with some enthusiasm.

 

“That’s no different from always,” Brian jibed, taking a light tap in the ribs from Justin who snuggled closer as if to better share Brian’s secret.”

 

“The truth is,” Brian continued, “Mikey wanted to get me away from Ben tonight to get my opinion on something.  Those producers have already contacted him about a role in the next play.”

 

“Oh God, Brian,” Justin was astonished, “It’s too late to do anything anyhow.  But maybe I’m kind of glad it turned out this way.  I was feeling guilty about the whole thing.  Mikey could turn out to be a real acting discovery.  He would be great in roles like Colin Farrell plays.”

 

“Who?” Brian asked.

 

“Never mind,” Justin responded, “Is it OK with you if I get a hold of Hunter or Malcolm and call them off before they do something stupid?  They’re just going to have to live with Mikey the actor.”

 

“Did I say I was finished/” Brian wondered, “Sorry if I did because I’m not.”

 

“I’m sorry, Honey,” Justin apologized, “You know me.  I tend to get excited easily.”  
  
”I do know you, Baby,” Brian laughed at him, “And I do know you get excited easily.”  That earned Brian another light jab to the ribs and a broad grin from Justin.

 

“Honey,” Brian went on, “Mikey wants to turn down the part.  He thought he was good in the last play but he doesn’t want to do any more.  He would have turned down those producers already but he doesn’t want to disappoint any of you guys.  He’s thinking of doing it just to please you.  He wanted me to help him figure out how to tell everybody.”

 

“What did you tell him?” Justin asked breathlessly.

 

“I told him that I wanted to talk it over with you first but that I thought he should just level with everybody and that they’d understand if he didn’t want to do any more theater,” Brian told him.

 

“You wanted to talk it over with me?” Justin asked.

 

“Yeah,” Brian said, “You have good judgment every once in a while and I wanted to see what you thought.”

 

“I love you, Brian,” Justin gushed.  “You are such a great guy.  I sometimes wonder what I ever did to deserve you.”

 

“Me too,” Brian agreed smugly.

 

“We can discuss that matter in just a minute or two,” Justin retorted, “But can I please call Hunter and warn him not to do anything for now?”

 

“I guess you better,” Brian agreed.

 

Justin dialed Hunter’s cell phone and was glad to hear Hunter’s voice answering.  “Hey Hunter,” he announced, beaming an arch smile at Brian, “Good news.  I’ve got your problem solved.”


	73. Chapter 73 - Old Movies

“How did it go last night, Sweetheart?” Brian asked Justin over breakfast in the loft. 

“It was OK.  The movie was called _Stagecoach_ and it starred somebody named John Wayne and a lot of other people I never heard of,” Justin told him, “I think I would have liked it a lot if you had been there.”

 

“But my not being there was part of the plan,” Brian tried to explain, “When Daphne told me that her group at school was sponsoring some old movie showings, I wanted you to go with them.  I want you to meet kids your own age and have friends that weren’t my friends first.  I hope you did.”

 

“Well,” Justin smiled, “I met this kid Eric that I met once before at that party at Daphne’s last year that you made me go to.”

 

“You’ve already told me all about Eric, not right at that moment, but a while later as I recall.  I didn’t send you out this time to meet Eric,” Brian kind of cut him off.

 

“Well Eric has somebody now but he still seemed interested,” Justin continued nevertheless, “And he gave me the impression that he could be available if I was free.  There were quite a few gay guys there at the party afterward, and Eric may have spread the word, because I had some other opportunities – both male and female.  I am cute, you know.”

 

“But I don’t think I need to worry.  You always come back to Brian, don’t you?” Brian smiled at him.

 

“Has anybody ever told you, Honey, that you are just a wee bit egotistical?” Justin asked Brian.

 

“Yeah,” Brian admitted, “I guess it’s only your humility that keeps us together, Baby.”

 

“Well I’m sure that helps,” Justin laughed, “But that is not the only thing.  There are lots of others.  Brian, do I have to go to the whole series?”

 

“That was the idea, Sunshine.  I really want you to get away from me every once in a while.” Brian argued, “It will be good for you to be in a younger crowd for a change.  But I’m not ‘making’ you go.  I just think it would be good for you.”

 

“Then you come too,” Justin proposed, “I’d really enjoy myself if you were there.  You’re old enough to remember those old movies and so you could explain them to me.”

 

“Well I want you to know that I know you are trying to bait me,” Brian countered, “But _Stagecoach_ came out in 1939 and I wasn’t born till a year or so after that.  Actually, my parents weren’t born till a year or so after that.”

 

“Well you know an awful lot about old movies so I’d like to watch them with you,” Justin pouted.

 

“We could watch one here sometime,” Brian offered, “We could rent a DVD, make some popcorn and watch an old movie, just like me and Mikey used to do.  We could even ask Mikey and Ben to come over and watch it with us.”

 

“Maybe we should just watch it together, the two of us,” Justin decided.

 

“Always coming back to Brian, aren’t you?” Brian said.

 

“Well, egotistical or not, you’re still good with old movies,” Justin smiled.

 

The opportunity presented itself that very day.  Brian was out on an errand, stopped at a video store, and rented a DVD of his favorite old movie, one he could just about quote all the dialog from.  He would surely impress Justin with his knowledge, and get to watch _Casablanca_ for the umpteenth time.  So he got some corn for popping and looked forward to a pleasant evening.

 

And it was a pleasant evening.  Everything went as Brian had planned.  Justin was duly impressed with the movie and with Brian’s vast storehouse of information about it.

 

Afterward, they lit the fireplace and sat in their usual positions.  The only thing different from any other night was the left-over popcorn.

 

“Did that Humphrey Bogart guy make any other movies, Bri?” Justin asked, “He reminds me of you.  I’d like to see him in another movie.”

 

“Yeah, he made two or three other movies,” Brian answered, “But Humphrey Bogart reminds you of me?  You think I look like Humphrey Bogart?”

 

“No, Brian,” Justin laughed, “I don’t think you look like Humphrey Bogart, but it would be better to look like him than like that Peter guy or that Sidney guy who were in the picture, wouldn’t it?”

 

“Well then, what the hell are you talking about, I remind you of Humphrey Bogart?” Brian said.  Then he stopped.  “You really mean Rick reminds you of me, don’t you?  He was a selfish bastard who only cared about himself and then he saw the light,” he went on, “And I guess you think you’re Ingrid Bergman?”

 

“No way, Honey,” Justin responded, “She left Rick.  That was noble and all, but there’s no way I could be that noble.  You aren’t ever going to get rid of me.”

 

Brian was glad he was not going to get rid of Justin and he was also glad for the few minutes of silence that followed.  But that didn’t last.

 

“How come the picture, wasn’t in color, Brian?” Justin continued his interrogation, “Wouldn’t it have been better in color? Hadn’t they invented color movies yet?”

 

“They had color movies before _Casablanca_ , Baby.  One of your favorites, _Wizard of Oz,_ is a couple of years older than _Casablanca_   and it’s in color,” Brian told him.

 

“Oh yeah,” Justin remembered, “They must have invented color movies while they were making _Wizard of Oz_ because the beginning’s in black and white and the rest is in color.  Well then why didn’t they make _Casablanca_ a color movie?”

 

“They had this idea called ‘film noir’ and they thought that black and white gave some movies more atmosphere, and made them more interesting,” Brian explained, “’Film noir,’ that’s French.”

 

“Seems to me they should have called it “film noir et blanc,’” Justin told him, “I had a couple of years of French at St. James.”

 

“Maybe you should have taken ‘Art of the Film’ instead,” Brian laughed at Justin.  “Doesn’t that crazy place you go to now have any film courses?”

 

“Yeah, but I’d rather learn from you,” Justin replied, “We need to watch more old movies here.”

 

“We can do that, Baby, but I hope you’re not trying to get out of going to the film festival with Daphne and her gang,” Brian warned him, “You still need some friends your own age.”

 

“Well if you won’t come with me, maybe I’ll ask Ethan,” Justin played his trump card, “I know Ethan likes foreign movies and I’ll bet he likes old movies too.”

 

“Sounds like a good idea to me,” Brian countered, “Ethan’s just about your age and he wasn’t my friend first. And I don’t care that Eric’s there, and I don’t care if guys flirt with you.  They probably will.  You are cute, you know.”

 

“What’s going on, Brian?” a suddenly worried Justin asked, “Are you mad at me?”

 

“Not at all, Sweetheart, just sure of you,” Brian told him, toying with Justin’s hair, “I know you’ll always come back to Brian, and Brian will always be waiting for you to come back”

 

Justin cuddled closer to Brian and eventually fell asleep with a smile on his face, his head on Brian’s shoulder, and Brian’s arm wrapped around him.  There were no more questions he needed to ask.


	74. Chapter 74 - Oh Brother

“You’ve got something to tell me,” Brian was saying to Justin as they settled themselves in on the floor in front of the fireplace.  “And you wouldn’t tell me till we got the fireplace lit so you must be feeling guilty.” 

“It’s not really guilt, Honey,” Justin answered, “But it’s something that I was hoping never to have to tell you.  Maybe I should have told you sooner but I was hoping I wouldn’t ever have to.”

 

“No confidence in me?” Brian complained, “I’ve told you lots of times you can tell me anything at all and you say you believe that.  So you were hoping never to have to tell me this?”

 

“That’s about it, Bri,” Justin admitted, “But before I tell you, I want you to know we’re going to keep you completely out of it – or at least we’re going to try our hardest.”

 

“How come you’ve decided to tell me now?” Brian wanted to know.

 

“Because you’re sure to find out,” Justin explained, “And you might be mad if we tried to get through this without you knowing.”

 

“It sounds to me like I’m going to be upset with you, Baby,” Brian surmised, “I hope not, but that’s what it sounds like to me.  But if you think you better tell me, then you better tell me.”

 

“Are you going to let me get through the whole thing before you decide if you’re mad at me?”  Justin asked.

 

“I’ll try,” Brian seemed amused by now, “But I can’t promise anything.  It might be a promise I can’t keep.”

 

“Brian, Sweetheart,” Justin began tentatively, “Malcolm has a brother.”

 

“Now that is genuine bad news,” Brian broke in, “But I think I can stand that.  I don’t understand what all the hype was about.”

 

“Hunter met this brother when they were in Cincinnati.” Justin continued, “He’s a year younger than Malcolm and his name is Abe.”

 

“That was one of the names Melanie wanted to hang on Gus,” Brian remembered, “She said her grandfather was named Abraham.  I don’t know why all this is such a secret”

 

“You’re not making this easy, Brian,” Justin replied, “When I get finished, you’ll know why it was a secret, I’m pretty sure.  So let me finish, please.  This is hard for me.”

 

“Sorry, Twink,” Brian apologized, “Go ahead.”

 

“Anyhow, this Abe is not short for Abraham.” Justin interjected, “Malcolm’s brother’s name is Abelard.”

 

“Abelard?” Brian wondered, “Wasn’t that some old saint from the middle ages?”

 

“Not exactly a saint, Bri,” Justin seemed a bit less tense.  “Just some philosopher.  Malcolm’s mother teaches medieval philosophy and Abelard is one of her favorites.  Abelard got mixed up in a forbidden love affair and got into a whole lot of trouble with the church.”

 

“Sounds familiar,” Brian laughed.

 

“If you don’t let me finish, Honey,” Justin sounded desperate, “I’m going to send you an e-mail instead of trying to tell you this.”

 

“So the telling’s not over?” Brian said.

 

“Hardly begun,” Justin responded. “Hunter met Abe when they were in Cincinnati.  Abe is a great big guy who plays football at Ohio State, and he’s only a freshman.  He’s a real jock and he doesn’t much like gays.  He told Hunter that he should give up on Malcolm.  Abe offered to help find Hunter a date for Malcolm’s birthday party.  Said he knew just the girl for Hunter.”

 

“Abe doesn’t like Malcolm then, I guess,” Brian concluded.  “It’s good they’re living in different cities.”

 

“Actually, he does like Malcolm, Honey,” Justin explained, “He warned Hunter that once Malcolm grew up, he was bound to be straight, and so Malcolm could break his heart.”

 

“Geez, Twink,” Brian exclaimed, “You get mixed up with the weirdest people.  Actually, Malcolm might break Hunter’s heart but I don’t think it will be for a girl.  Not that I don’t agree with Abe that Malcolm should grow up.”

 

“Malcolm is doing some growing up right now, Brian,” Justin told him, “He and Hunter are trying to tell all this to Mike and Ben, and I hope they’re having better luck than I am with you.”

 

“More?” Brian asked.

 

“Oh yeah,” Justin replied.  “Hunter tried to explain to Abe about gays but Abe told Hunter that he didn’t believe there were any gay people in Cincinnati or at Ohio State.  He said he had never met a gay person.”

 

“Bet there are some on the team with him at Ohio State,” Brian guessed.

 

“I think Abe must be some kind of a dim bulb, Brian,” Justin tried to finish his story, “Anyhow, he told Hunter he wants to visit Pittsburgh where the gay people live and get to know a few.  He figures if he tells us about girls, we’ll all see the light.”

 

“It would be smart to keep him away,” Brian decided.  “I don’t want him to tell you about girls and have you see the light.”

 

“Brian Honey,” Justin told him, “You are having so much fun with this that you have lost the right to be mad because I didn’t tell you before.”

 

“OK Baby, you’re right,” Brian admitted, “So I’m not mad.  I’m not even sure why you thought I might be mad.  But I hope Malcolm knows enough to keep Abe in Ohio where there aren’t any gays.”

 

“That’s what Malcolm has been doing, Bri,” Justin answered, “But Abe has announced he’s coming here next weekend and he wants to meet all Malcolm’s gay friends, and that’s why I had to tell you this now.”

 

“He’s actually coming here,” Brian repeated.

 

“Yeah,” Justin said, “But we’re going to keep him away from you.  We figure he has to meet Mike and Ben because Malcolm is involved with Hunter, but I promise that you won’t have to meet him at all.”

 

Brian just sat there.  He didn’t say anything.  Justin was the next one to speak.  “I am really relieved to get that story told.  It’s only for a weekend.  I’ll make sure you aren’t bothered.  Are you OK about this?” he said to Brian.

 

“Well I’m not mad at you for not telling me sooner,” Brian replied in a halting voice, “I can see where you figured I didn’t need to know.”  
  
”But what, Brian?” Justin wondered, sensing Brian was not finished.

 

“I can’t figure how a guy can come all the way from Columbus to study the gay culture of Pittsburgh,” Brian told him, “And not meet me.”

 

“What are you saying?” questioned a Justin who was afraid he knew exactly what Brian was saying.

 

“I think Abe needs to meet me,” Brian concluded, “He deserves to see gay Pittsburgh at its best and that’s me.

I might even volunteer to be Abelard’s guide while he’s here in the Steel City.”  Brian was smiling.  Justin was not.

 

“Remember when I just said I was relieved, Brian,” Justin reminded him.  “Well I’m not relieved any more.  I think I would have liked it better if you got mad at me.”  


	75. Chapter 75 - Guy-ded Tour

It was Sunday evening.  The day’s excitement had finally subsided and the guys were contentedly snuggling in front of the fake fireplace.  Both of them knew what the subject of the evening’s conversation would have to be, but they didn’t begin talking for a while.  They often said that they thought they could get through anything together, and they had just proved that. 

A few minutes earlier, just before they had placed themselves in their usual positions on the floor, they had received a phone call from Malcolm.  Abe had e-mailed Malcolm that he was safely back at Ohio State.  Abe had asked Malcolm to thank all the guys for their hospitality, but especially Brian.  Abe also said that meeting Brian had been the major event of his visit.”

 

“Gee, Kinney,” Justin initiated the conversation, “I think Abe fell for you just like everybody does.  It’s bad enough for me to have to fend off all of gay Pittsburgh but now the straights are falling for you too.”

 

“It’s OK, Twink,” Brian mocked, “Abelard is very appealing but you know I’m stuck with you and that’s just how it is.”

 

“Stuck with me or stuck on me, Bri?” Justin sought clarification.

 

“Both, I guess,” Brian admitted, “But maybe it’s a good thing Abe doesn’t live here.  He’s hot.  I’m glad he had a good time while he was here though.”

 

“Maybe he is hot,” Justin conceded, “But not real swift, Brian.  I don’t think you want somebody around here who’s not very sharp.”

 

“No comment,” Brian replied, “I think that’s the best response to that statement.’

 

“Yeah,” Justin allowed, “The comment you were likely to make would have probably not been well received.”

“What did Mike and Ben have to say about Abe’s visit?” Justin asked.

 

“Ben didn’t say much but Mikey was not real keen on Abelard,” Brian informed him, “Mike thinks Hunter will have in-law problems if he sticks with Malcolm.  Hunter told him Abe was the only weird one in the family, and that Malcolm’s parents don’t even mind that he’s gay.  They’re intellectuals.  Mikey said if that was true, Abelard is probably adopted.”

 

“Honey,” Justin smiled at Brian, “I really know now that I can tell you anything so I’m going to tell you this.  Hunter did not tell Mikey and Ben about Penelope.  Penelope is Malcolm’s sister and ….”  
  
”You know, Baby,” Brian interrupted Justin, “Maybe there are some things you shouldn’t tell me till I need to know.  Not that you can’t tell me anything, but sometimes it might just be better to wait.”

 

“OK, if that’s how you want it,” Justin agreed, “But don’t you be getting mad at me if I don’t tell you everything I know.”

 

“You already don’t tell me everything you know, Twink,” Brian laughed, “And you know I never get mad at you.”  That brought a smile to both of their faces and introduced a lull to their conversation.

 

“Brian,” Justin asked, “Did Abe ever figure out that Heloise, that girl you introduced him to at Woody’s, was really a guy?”

 

“I doubt it,” Brian replied, “You know Jimmy was just Heloise for the day.  He is usually Dorothea, but I figured Abelard would be more comfortable with Heloise than with Dorothea.  Abe did ask Heloise though  if she would be interested in coming to Columbus for a dance sometime.”

 

“I hope ‘she’ didn’t say ‘yes’ to that proposition,” Justin laughed.

 

“Nope, ‘she’ told him that it might be awkward to have Abelard and Heloise together at a social function,” Brian answered.

 

“Did he get it?” Justin wanted to know.

 

“Don’t think so, but his mother will if he tells her,” Brian figured, “But ‘she’ also told him that her brother played for Michigan State and Abe thought that might be a problem.”

 

“So Abelard and Heloise can’t make the connection any easier now than they did way back in the middle ages,” Justin concluded.  “That is so sad.”

 

“Don’t they say that history never repeats itself,” Brian mused.

 

“I think they say that history always repeats itself,” Justin corrected him.

 

“Then they’re wrong,” Brian insisted.

 

“Shit, Bri,” Justin gibed, “One day with Abelard and you’re a philosopher.”  Brian squeezed Justin and the conversation hit another lull.

 

“Didn’t Abe have any questions about Babylon when you took him there, Brian?  He was so interested in you that we might as well not have even been around,” Justin reopened the discussion.

 

“Well I told him before we got there that the women had gone off to an all-girl picnic so it would be just about all guys,” Brian said, “And that when the girls were gone the guys got dressed up in strange clothes and acted crazy, so there wasn’t much need for questions.”

 

“Well, he seemed fascinated by Emmett,” Justin probed further, “How did you explain Emmett?”

 

“I told him that Emmett was a woman trying to act like a man,” Brian revealed.

 

“And he believed that?” Justin wondered.

 

“Yep,” Brian confirmed, “Abelard told me that he figured he had finally met a real live gay person.”

 

“You did all that, didn’t you?” Justin stood in awe, “And he swallowed all that bullshit.  I don’t know how you do it.”

 

“Practice,” Brian admitted.

 

“You’re lucky he didn’t go into the back room.  I wonder how you would have explained the back room if he wanted to go in there?” Justin challenged him.

 

“He did ask about that,” Brian bragged, “And I told him that it was an illegal gambling den, and that they bet on games so, as an athlete, he had to stay out of there.”

 

“And you think you really conned Abelard, Smart Guy,” Justin turned the tables, “Well, before he left, Abe told Malcolm that you tried to fool him but he saw right through you.”

 

“I don’t think so,” Brian responded, “When Kinney cons ‘em,  they stay conned.”

 

“Not Abelard,” Justin crowed, “He figured you out.  He told Malcolm that he could tell you were really straight and that you were just pretending to be gay to humor us.  That news actually broke my heart, Brian Kinney.  You have been deceiving me all this time.”

 

“Pretty convincingly too, I guess?” Brian laughed at him.

 

“Yeah,” Justin laughed back.  “You conned me all right and I intend to stay conned, Brian.”

 

“Life ain’t easy, Sunshine,” Brian consoled him, “But we have to take it as it comes.  How’s that for philosophy?  We handled Abelard.  Bring on Penelope.  We’re ready.  I think I can handle Penelope, all right.  What do you think?”

 

“Yeah,” Justin agreed, “You could handle Penelope, but I’m not sure what’ll happen if the twins come.”


	76. Chapter 76 - Charades

The fireplace was lit.  Brian was in his usual position staring at the flickering flames.  The twink was not.  The last time Brian had checked his watch, the time was 10:45 and he decided not to check again.  The time was going too slowly.  So Brian did not know the exact time that the loft door slid open and Justin entered. 

“I’m sorry, Brian,” The kid told him, “I thought I’d be home about 9:00, when you said you would be getting home, but I just didn’t keep track of the time.”  
  
”Me neither,” Brian told him, “Geez, it’s after eleven,” he continued, checking his watch, “You must have been having fun.”

 

“Yeah,” Justin replied, “I told you I might stop over at Daphne’s while you were out wining and dining that client, and that’s what I did.  Did you get the account?”

 

“I think so,” Brian answered, “And it’s a pretty big one too.  Just a few more details to hammer out in the morning.  Maybe I better get to bed so I will be fresh.”

 

Justin plopped himself down on the floor next to Brian.  “You’re mad at me, aren’t you?”  Justin suggested, “It’s just that there were a lot of people at Daphne’s.  It was kind of a party.  The time went so fast.”

 

“And you never thought of me?” Brian wondered.

 

“I’m always thinking of you, Honey,” Justin insisted, “It was the time I was not thinking about.”

 

“Lots of hot guys?” Brian surmised.

 

“How would I know?” Justin came back, “There’s only one guy in the whole world that seems hot to me and he wasn’t there.  There was one nerd that tried to hit on me but Daphne called him off real quick.  Now are you mad at me or not?”

 

“What went on at the party?” Brian avoided the question.

 

“No smart remarks, Kinney,” Justin smiled and insinuated himself closer to Brian, “We ended up playing charades.”

 

“It’s pretty hard not to make a smart remark about that, Baby,” Brian was forced to smile back, “But isn’t charades a little retro, even for you and your crowd.”

 

“It’s making a comeback,” Justin explained, “Things have a way of going away and coming back.  I’ll bet charades will be very popular again before long.  I should have at least called you, Bri, to let you know where I was.”

 

“According to the ‘Rules’ you don’t have to be home till three,” Brian told him.

 

“But we don’t have any ‘Rules’ any more so I can’t get away with that,” Justin replied, “And neither can you.”

 

“Eleven o’clock used to be the beginning of the evening for me,” Brian mused, “And now it seems late.  I don’t know whether that’s your influence or the influence of old age.  They both seem to affect me the same way.”

 

“OK,” Justin told him, “So you are mad at me.  Why didn’t you call Daphne’s and see if I was there?”

 

“I guess you would have liked the partiers to know the old ball and chain was checking on you?” Brian said, “I know you’re able to take care of yourself – most of the time at least.”

 

“I would have been flattered that you cared enough to check on me, but I guess it wouldn’t have looked all that good,” Justin allowed, “But I’m also flattered that you had enough confidence in me not to call.” 

 

“Well, I figured you weren’t running around with Ethan, Baby, because he called here tonight,” Brian responded.

 

“Why didn’t he call me on my cell phone?” Justin wondered, “I didn’t have it turned off.”

 

“Probably because he wanted to talk to me,” Brian informed him, “He wants us to come to the symphony on Friday night.  He’s going to fill in for the first chair in his section and he has a short solo.”

 

“Why did he want to talk to you and not me?” Justin questioned.

 

“Maybe because he knows I’m the real classical music aficionado around here,” Brian suggested, “Or maybe because he thought you might need to be out playing charades Friday night while I would probably be sitting at home with nothing at all to do.”

 

“All right, Sweetheart,” Justin concluded, “So it’s established that you are mad at me, but so far, I am not mad at you.  So far, that is.  Did you tell Ethan we’d come?”

 

“I told him I would be there and that I hoped that you would be able to make it too,” Brian informed him.

 

“Brian Kinney,” Justin gritted his teeth, “If you’re smart, you’ll put your arm around me right now.”

 

Brian was smart.

 

They sat there for quite a while before, as usual, Justin broke the silence.

 

“I guess I’ll have to sleep on the couch tonight,” He smiled at Brian.

 

“Wouldn’t be the first time,” Brian retorted.

 

“Hey, Brian,” Justin smiled more broadly, “I never did.  I just stayed on the couch till you were asleep and then I crawled into bed with you.”

 

“Hey, Justin,” Brian returned the broad smile, “Would you like to see how well I can fake being asleep?”

 

“You are impossible, Brian Kinney.” Justin concluded.

 

“I try my best,” Brian informed him.

 

“Remind me to call Ethan and tell him I’ll be there on Friday too,” Justin requested.

 

“Actually, that won’t be necessary,” Brian admitted, “We are taking Tom and Ethan to dinner at Gino’s before the performance.”

 

“You are such a big fake, Brian,” Justin accused him, “You’re putting on this whole ‘hurt’ business and I’ll bet you didn’t even notice I wasn’t here.”

 

“I noticed,” Brian countered.

 

“That’s one of the most romantic things you’ve ever said to me,” Justin gushed.

 

So they sat another while before Justin said “Maybe you ought to get to bed, Brian.  We don’t want you falling asleep on the client tomorrow morning.”

 

“You’re probably right,” Brian agreed, “But let’s just sit here a few more minutes.”

 

He got no argument from Justin who finally said to him, “Bri, you weren’t mad at me at all, were you?”

 

“I don’t recall ever saying that I was,” Brian grinned.

 

“You know, Brian,” Justin conceded, “When charades makes its comeback, you are going to be an awesome player.  You are the best I’ve ever seen.”


	77. Chapter 77 - Bearing Up

Usually Justin could predict Brian’s reaction to almost anything.  Not always though.  The guys were ensconced in front of the fake fireplace and Justin had just revealed some plans to Brian. 

“Well I didn’t think it was a big deal in the first place but I figured you might think it was cute,” Justin was protesting, ”I didn’t expect you to think it was funny.”

 

“Not funny funny,” Brian corrected him, “Odd funny.”

 

“Well when I told my mother, she thought it was cute, and so did Mel and Linz,” Justin continued, “So you’re the only one who thinks it’s odd funny.  We won’t do it if it bothers you though.”

 

“Don’t get me wrong, Baby,” Brian defended himself, “I don’t have any problem with it.  I just can’t figure out where you got the idea, and I’ve heard a lot of your ideas, you know.”

 

“Well I was only afraid you’d think I was pushing a little bit,” Justin answered.

 

“Oh no, Kiddo,” Brian replied, “From that angle I have no problem.  I’ve told you Gus is as much your kid as he is mine or Linz’s.  You’re one of the parents too, just like Mel is.  So why shouldn’t Gus get your old teddy bear if you want him to have it.”

 

“Well we’re stopping at my mother’s tomorrow to get it then, if that’s OK with you,” Justin informed him, “And we’ll take it with us and give it to Gus when we go over there to dinner tomorrow evening.”

 

So the plans for the transfer of the teddy bear seemed to be settled and the guys drifted into that easy comfort zone that usually enveloped them when they sat cuddled up in front of the flames.

 

“Brian,” Justin finally said with enough urgency to surprise Brian, “There’s a problem I hadn’t thought of.”

 

“I can’t believe,” Brian smiled at him, “That there could be any problem you haven’t thought of.”

 

“Well there is,” Justin insisted, “The teddy bear’s name is Gus.  Gus can’t have a teddy bear named Gus so we’ll have to think of a new name for the bear.  What do you think?”

 

“I think,” Brian laughed “That I am not going to devote an evening to figuring out a new name for a teddy bear.  Name it anything you want to.”  Then Brian stopped for a minute and Justin detected a change in his expression before Brian finished what he was saying, “Anything but Seymour, that is.”

 

“I don’t think I would have come up with Seymour for the new name,” Justin told him.  Justin could not read the look on Brian’s face.  “What’s the matter, Honey?” he asked Brian, “I’ve said something that really bothers you and I have no idea what it is.  You can tell me anything.  You know that, don’t you?”

 

“No, you didn’t say anything that bothered me, Baby,” Brian told him, “It’s not you at all.  Seymour was what they called my teddy bear.”

 

Now Justin thought that name was odd funny, but he decided not to try joking at that point.  “Tell me how you picked Seymour for the name of your teddy bear,” he asked Brian, “There has to be a story there, but only tell me if you want to, Bri.”

 

“I didn’t name him Seymour,” Brian explained, “I named him Kangy after Captain Kangaroo.  My dad named him Seymour.  There was some guy at work named Seymour that he didn’t like.  He didn’t like the idea of me having a teddy bear either so he called the bear Seymour too, and the name stuck.  I don’t know what he had against that bear but he didn’t like Kangy any more than he liked me.  Nobody but me knew his real name was Kangy.  You’re the only person I ever told.  Kangy helped me get through a lot of rough times though.”

 

“I’m sorry if I stirred up bad memories, Honey,” Justin apologized, wrapping both arms around Brian’s neck, “I wouldn’t have if I’d known.”

 

“How could you know?” Brian consoled him, “I had even forgotten that whole business myself.  It’s strange how memories get triggered.  I’ll be all right.  We’ll just sit together all evening – just us two.  I’ll be all right.”

 

“Oh gosh, Brian.” Justin remembered, “It’s almost nine o’clock and Emmett is supposed to stop here around ten on his way home from Mel and Linz’s to leave you that book he promised you.  I better call over there and ask him not to.”

 

“Let him come,” Brian decided, “There’s nothing like a visit from Emmett to make anybody forget anything.  Anyhow, I want to get that book.”

 

Justin was kind of pleased with that course of action.  He hoped it would get Brian’s mind off the teddy bear situation.  But that was not exactly what happened.

 

They had a while together before the arrival of the visitor and Brian seemed to perk up some, enough that Justin was hopeful that the worst was over.

 

Emmett arrived with the book, saying he could not stay long, which was satisfactory to both Brian and Justin.  Just about the time he was leaving though, Emmett told them “Oh, Linz said that Justin is giving Gus his old teddy bear.  That is so neat, Justin.  What I think we should do though is get the teddy bear some new clothes.  His wardrobe will be too old fashioned for today, so I volunteer to get him all togged up, 2004 style.  How does that sound?”

 

That did not actually sound very enticing to Justin who was picturing his Gus dolled up Emmett-style but the suggestion seemed to cheer Brian up some.  “Have you a lot of experience dressing up teddy bears, Emmett?” Brian asked him. 

 

“Teddy bears are just like people, Brian,” Emmett told him, “They like to be in style.  But as a matter of fact I have had specific experience with teddy bears.  I have redone Michael’s old bear, Horace.  You must have seen it in Mikey’s bedroom.  It was there when he was living with me.”

 

“That was Horace?” Brian exclaimed, “I didn’t recognize him. I wondered what the hell Mikey was doing with a bear in his room but I never figured out that it was Horace.”

 

“Well you should have,” Emmett said, “I had him dressed like a Horace.  The name is important to the costume choice.  I can’t do Justin’s bear without knowing the name either.”  
  
”That’s a problem, Em,” Justin told him, “The bear’s name was Gus but you can see we’ll have to change that.”

 

“Well I will need the new name before I can figure out the ensemble,” Emmett insisted, “Don’t you have any idea what the new name will be?”

 

“I think I do but I want Brian to agree first so give us some time to decide,” Justin answered.

 

“Whatever you pick, Honey,” Brian interjected. “I’m not much interested in the name of a teddy bear.  Go ahead and tell Emmett what you’ve picked.”

“I think a good name would be Kangy,” Justin said.  Brian put his arm around the kid and Justin could feel Brian’s approval in his touch.

 

“Kangy,” Emmett replied, “What kind of a name is that? It’ll take me a week to figure out how to dress a Kangy.  “How did you ever get such a name? Are you sure you want to call the bear Kangy?”

 

“Yeah, we do,” Brian made the reply, “And it’s an old family name.”

 

“We promised Gus to give him the bear tomorrow and we can’t back down on that promise,” Justin told Em, “So you’ll have to see Gus about re-outfitting the bear.”

 

“It will probably be too late then.  If the kid bonds with that bear in his old outfit, it will probably be too late,” Emmett complained, “But we’ll see.”  “Kangy?”  he muttered as he left.

 

“Oh Brian,” Justin cried, grabbing Brian and pulling him down onto the floor in front of the still blazing fireplace, “I hope we got Emmett off the track.  I didn’t want my Gus all done over.  I don’t know how I could have coped.”

 

Brian kissed the twink.  “I’m sure we did.  I would have helped you through it though,” he whispered into Justin’s ear.  “I owe you one.”


	78. Chapter 78 - Yankee Doodle

“Fourth of July is coming up, Brian,” Justin reminded his dream guy as they sat in front of the flitting flames of their fake fireplace.  “Mel and Linz are planning another big picnic at Point State Park.  The whole gang will be there and they want you to hold your son for the fireworks.  OK with you?”  

“Since you probably already told them we’d be there and I’d do that, why does it matter if it’s OK with me?” Brian laughed, “But there’s no place I’d rather celebrate the Fourth – as long as you’re there too.”

 

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Justin assured him, “It will be just like last year only better.  The Pittsburgh Symphony will be playing and accompanying the fireworks so Ethan and Tom will be eating with us before the concert.”

 

“It’s not going to be exactly like last year, Baby,” Brian told him, “I’m not going to let Mikey lead me astray like he did last time.  You can count on me to be clean and sober all night.”

 

It was Justin’s turn to laugh now.  “I remember last year all right but I’m not so sure it was Mikey who did the leading,” he responded.  “Just avoid temptation and bad company and everything will be fine.”

 

“How can I do that?” Brian laughed back at him.  “You already said you were going to be there.”

 

“Very funny,” Justin responded with a light poke to Brian’s ribs.

 

“Now you can tell me what you haven’t told me,” Brian demanded.

 

“What are you talking about, Bri?” Justin answered.

 

“What else?” Brian repeated, “I know how you operate.  There’s more and you know there’s more so you may as well just tell me while I’m in a good mood.  You may not get another chance.”

 

“Actually there is a little more to tell, Honey.  Actually there’s some good news and some bad news,” Justin admitted.  “The good news is that we’ll have Malcolm and Hunter with us this year.  Malcolm is going to summer session so he’ll be in town.  The bad news is that Abelard wanted to be here too but he can’t get away from Ohio State.”

 

“Well,” Brian concluded, “That is good news and bad news, but I think maybe you’ve got them mixed up.  That’s not as bad as it might be though, provided there isn’t anything else.”

 

“There is a little bit more, Bri,” Justin continued, “You know how they have activities at the Park all day on the Fourth, especially for kids?”

 

“Yeah.  Thank God we’re not kids,” Brian responded.

 

“But Gus is a kid, Brian,” Justin countered, “You know that Malcolm has switched to dramatics. Well he and some others are putting on a patriotic play for kids several times during the afternoon.  And we want Gus to see the 3:30 performance so we’ll have to get there a little earlier than we did last year.  Malcolm is going to be Yankee Doodle.”

 

“Baby,” Brian pleaded, “Please tell me you’re not in this little play – and you better be able to tell me that I’m not in it.”

 

“Geez, Brian,” Justin replied, “Don’t get paranoid.  Of course we’re not in it.  What would make you even ask that?”

 

“Never mind,” Brian smiled at him.  “Do we know anybody else in the cast?  I’m almost afraid to ask.”

 

“Well I’m not exactly sure but I think Hunter may have a small part,” Justin told him, “And there’s a chance that Mikey might play Uncle Sam.”

 

“I thought Mikey had definitely given up the theater,” Brian said.

 

“I guess once the theater gets in your blood, it stays there,” Justin laughed.  “Anyhow it would just be a cameo role.  Malcolm asked Mike and he promised to think about it, but Malcolm also told Debbie at the diner and she thinks Mikey ought to do it.  She said she’d talk him into doing it, I think.”

 

“Sounds like Mikey will be Uncle Sam, all right,” Brian warned Justin, “Baby, if you ever introduce Malcolm to my mother, I’ll personally kill you.”

 

“Your mother is not the stage mother type at all, Brian,” Justin advised him, “But I promise not to introduce Malcolm to your mother, if that would bother you.”

 

“Yeah,” Brian decided, “You would never do anything to bother me.”

 

“Of course I wouldn’t,” Justin agreed with him, “It hurts my feelings that you might even think so.”

 

“Well, can I ask you if that’s all there is to tell without hurting your feelings, Kiddo?” Brian asked.

 

“I never keep any secrets from you, Sweetheart,” Justin responded, “That’s all I know about it.”

 

“OK,” Brian summarized, “So we’re taking Gus to this patriotic play, then we’re going to have a big picnic dinner with Yankee Doodle and Uncle Sam, Hunter in whatever costume he’s got on, and Ethan in his orchestra tux.  And I’m supposed to stay clean and sober so that I can hold Gus for the fireworks.”

 

“That’s it, Bri,” Justin agreed, “Sounds easy to me.”

 

“Just about easy enough to have me go looking for Troy and Bart and those guys that me and Mikey met up with last year and got into trouble with,” Brian decided.

 

“Yeah,” Justin warned him, “But this year it won’t be you and Mikey, Bri.  This year it will be you and Uncle Sam.  You’ll be ruining the reputation of our national symbol if you try that stuff this year. and it will be way harder for us to hide you from the cops too.”

 

“Why do I think you arranged all this to keep me on the straight and narrow?” Brian wondered out loud.  “Now if we want to go looking for a little fun we’ll be unpatriotic.”

 

“Because I wouldn’t have needed to, Bri,” Justin defended himself, “You’re going to have a lot of fun with us.  You’re going to enjoy holding you son for the fireworks.  Anyhow you said you were going to be clean and sober and I always trust you, even if you don’t always trust me.”

 

“Don’t get paranoid, Baby,” Brian counseled him, “I do always trust you – to do the right thing.  It’s just that the right thing is not always what I want.”

 

Justin’s clever retort to that never got spoken because the phone rang.  “You answer it, Brian,” Justin said, “If it’s Malcolm, tell him I’m not here, OK?  He’s been bugging me about some things.”

 

So Brian answered the ringing.  “Hey Malcolm,” he said, “He’s not here right now.”

 

“Yeah,” Brian said next, “He told me about the Fourth.  He’s real enthusiastic.  I’m sure you can count on Justin.  He’ll be glad to help you out.  Just put him down to do that.  I’ll tell him as soon as he gets back but I’m positive he’ll be glad to do it for you.  The show must go on.  And tell Abe we’re really sorry he can’t make it.”

 

“Brian Kinney,” Justin glared as Brian put the phone down, “You did that out of spite.  You’re evil.  What have you signed me up for?  I think I’m mad at you.”

 

“I thought you trusted me.  What do you think I did?”  Brian laughed, “It’s not like Malcolm needs somebody to play the rear end of a horse, but I’ll bet you could do that pretty well.  All he wanted was for you to check out the scenery he’s having done in the art department.  You’re in the art department.  I thought you’d be glad to do that.  It doesn’t seem like a big thing to me.”

 

“I’m sorry, Bri,” Justin told him, “Maybe I am a little paranoid.”

 

Brian decided not to respond so they sat in silence until Justin broke the spell.  “You know what’s the best thing about us, Bri?” he asked.

 

Brian again opted not to respond so Justin answered his own question.  “The way we help each other and protect each other and take care of each other,” he told Brian.

 

Brian just smiled. 


	79. Chapter 79 - MIistaken Identity

Justin was finishing off some sketches on the computer when Brian returned to the loft one evening.  “Hi, Honey,” Justin looked up and greeted him. 

“I could have killed you at the office today,” Brian returned the greeting.

 

Justin did not act as if he thought his life were in any real danger.  “You have me mixed up with somebody else, Bri,” he answered, “I wasn’t anywhere near your office today.  This must be a case of mistaken identity.”

 

“You can cause trouble miles away from where you are,” Brian grinned, “It’s one of your talents.”

 

“So I have more than just that one talent then,” Justin deduced.

 

“Yeah, you do,” Brian admitted, “Some are a lot better than others.”

 

“We ought to discuss them all in detail sometime,” Justin decided, “But I would be interested right now in knowing why I almost got killed today when I wasn’t even there.”

 

“Baby,” Brian asked him, “What is Malcolm’s last name?”

 

“Shellcoff,” Justin replied, looking puzzled, “Spelled just the way it sounds.  But you know that.”

 

“I do now,” Brian told him, “But you always call him Malcolm McDuff.  I must have heard you call him that a hundred times.”

 

“That’s his nickname, Brian,” Justin was still not sure where this conversation was going, “That’s what all the guys at school call him.  Sometimes he even introduces himself as Malcolm McDuff.  You didn’t think that was his name, did you?”

 

“Why wouldn’t I?” Brian retorted, “I guess someday I’ll find out your name is really Justin Schickelgruber and that Justin Taylor is just your nickname.”

 

“Nope, it’s Taylor all right,” Justin gibed, “But I’m not sure I should get killed because you had Malcolm’s last name wrong.”  
  
”It’s just that I heard you call him Malcolm McDuff so often, and I’ve heard Mikey and Hunter call him that, and Ben too, I think, and I’m pretty sure I never heard the name Shellcoff before.” Brian mused.

 

“Brian, that is so romantic,” Justin told him.

 

“What the hell is so romantic?” Brian seemed bewildered, “I never heard Malcolm’s name before and somehow that’s romantic.”

 

“Brian, sometimes you just don’t see things,” Justin remonstrated, “I don’t know what’s so suddenly important about Malcolm’s last name, but you’re saying that you heard a lot of us calling him Malcolm McDuff, but I’m the only one you wanted to kill.  I must be someone special.”

 

“You are very definitely someone special,” Brian had to laugh, “But I never said I didn’t want to kill the others too.  Maybe I did and maybe I didn’t.”

 

“Bet you didn’t,” Justin answered, getting up from the computer, and walking over to Brian and brushing up against him.

 

“Not telling,” Brian replied, still laughing.

 

“But are you going to tell me why Malcolm’s name is so important all of a sudden,” Justin asked, “If it has some connection to why you wanted to kill me, I deserve to know.”

 

“OK Twink,” Brian told him, “Seems I was out of the office for a while today and when I got back I had several phone calls to return.  I recognized all the names except one.  Figured it must be a new contact.  You want to know what that name was? Abe Shellcoff.”

 

“Oh my God, Brian,” Justin laughed, ”You got a phone call from Abelard.”

 

“I would have guessed right away if he had said Abelard Shellcoff, or I would have known if it been Abe McDuff,” Brian informed him, “But how was I to know who Abe Shellcoff was?”

 

“Did you call him back?” Justin asked eagerly, “What did he want?”

 

“I don’t think I’ll tell you,” Brian pouted, “You never told me Malcolm’s last name.”

 

“You’ve had a really bad day, Sweetheart,” Justin told him, patting him on the head, “And Justin is going to take you out to dinner to cheer you up.”

 

“Justin wants to take me out to dinner,” Brian reasoned, “To weasel what Abe wanted out of me.  Weaseling is another one of your talents.”

 

“That’s a mean thing to say, Bri,” Justin smiled at him, “I won’t mention anything about it during the entire dinner.”  And he didn’t.

 

A little while later, after an enjoyable meal, the guys had placed themselves in front of their fireplace.  They were sitting in silence but they were both thinking about the same thing.

 

Brian opened the chat.  “Sitting here is a lot of fun,” he said, “And I don’t want to waste the time having you try to find out what Abe wanted, so I’m going to tell you.  It’s not that important anyhow.”

 

“So you don’t care whether you ruin my fun or not,” Justin pretended to pout.

 

“I’ll try to see that you have some fun after I tell you about Abelard,” Brian promised.

 

“Fair enough,” Justin agreed with a certain degree of enthusiasm.

 

“Seems Abelard has found out there are a couple of gay guys at Ohio State,’ Brian began, “And now that he knows gays exist in Ohio, he was wondering if Malcolm could really be gay and called to find out what I thought.”

 

“And?” Justin interjected.

 

“I told Abe it was a real possibility, but that Malcolm would still be Malcolm whether he was gay or straight and since Abe liked him, he should like him either way.” Brian summarized, “ That seemed to quiet him down and we reminisced about his visit here.  He was impressed with Pittsburgh and all of us.”

 

“He was certainly impressed with you,” Justin countered, “Maybe he’s gay too.  I think he really tumbled for you, Brian.”

 

“Well, he thought I was straight, remember,” Brian smiled, “So you have nothing to worry about, Kiddo.  Anyhow, he asked about you.”

 

“About me?” Justin seemed surprised.

 

“Yeah,” Brian continued, “He wanted to know if that cousin who was staying with me was still around.”

 

“What did you tell him?” Justin wanted to know.

 

“I told him that he was,” Brian laughed, “And that I thought I’d never get rid of him.” 

 

“Well you may have been wrong about the name, “ Justin said, snuggling himself closer to Brian, “But you sure got that one right.”

 

Brian felt very happy sitting there, and he knew it was Justin who made him so very happy.  It was one of his talents. 


	80. Chapter 80 - Safe House

The guys were seated in front of their fake fireplace.  Brian had half a grin on his face while Justin’s wore three-fourths of a scowl.  They had just had a visit from a distressed Hunter.  And they had promised to help if they could but Justin wasn’t all that pleased with Brian’s contribution. 

“Go ahead,” Brian widened his grin, “Yell.”

 

“Brian Kinney,” Justin responded without yelling, “You were at best exasperating and at worst infuriating.  You know damn well you are going to do everything you can to help Hunter and Malcolm, and what you mostly did was laugh.”

 

“I am going to do everything I can to help,” Brian agreed, “But this situation has a funny aspect too.  You have to see it.  Are you telling me there’s nothing at all funny here?”

 

Justin relented just a little.  “Yeah, there is,” he admitted, “But I don’t think we should laugh until it’s over.”

 

“It is not really that serious, Baby,” Brian insisted, “We’ll make sure things are OK.”

 

“That is so like you, Brian,” Justin went on, “You’ve always been around to help anybody who needed you, but not till after you made fun of their problem and pretended you were planning to be no help at all.  And I thought you’d changed.”

 

“I have changed, Honey,” Brian pointed out, “In the old days I would have told Hunter it was not my problem before I tried to help them, but today I actually told him I’d help.  Your good work has not been in vain.”

 

“I don’t know why I love you so much, Honey,” Justin told Brian as he snuggled up closer to him, “Especially when you are being so infuriating.”

 

“Cause I’m cute, I guess,” Brian surmised, and Justin had to laugh in response.  Then came one of those quiet times in their discussions.

 

The problem that Hunter had brought to them was only his at a secondary level.  The problem was primarily Malcolm’s.  

 

When Malcolm had been in Florence studying, he had ended up stalking his thirtyish teacher, Carlo.  It was Carlo’s rejection that had sent Malcolm back to Pittsburgh and then into Hunter’s arms where he seemed to be quite happy.  Carlo was now in New York City on vacation and had contacted Malcolm.  Carlo said he wanted to visit Pittsburgh to see the steel mills.  When Malcolm told him that there were very few steel mills left, Carlo gave him the impression that it was Malcolm he really wanted to see.  Carlo refused to be convinced not to come and had told Malcolm that he wanted to talk to him about their relationship.  As good as Malcolm was at getting into trouble, he was very poor at dealing with it when it came.  Hunter didn’t want to take a chance on any rekindling of Malcolm’s feelings for Carlo so they were both in a state of distress.  Ben and Michael had not satisfied Hunter with their suggestions so Mikey had, with a bit of irritation, advised him to seek help from Justin and Brian.  Our heroes had told him they would help.  They had a few days to devise a plan.

 

“Wouldn’t you think that with all his stalking experience,” Brian offered, “That Malcolm would know just how to handle this situation himself?”

 

“Stalking is a specific skill, Brian,” Justin informed him, “Warding off stalkers is a separate skill.  I don’t think Malcolm has had much experience doing that.”

 

“Guess not,” Brian agreed, “I guess you haven’t either.”

 

“And I can’t testify that you’re much of an expert in that regard, Sweetheart – or even any good at it at all,” Justin laughed at him, “But since I’m not the one who needs the help you can quit picking on me.”

“OK,” Brian surrendered, “Let’s solve Malcolm’s problem if that will shut you up.”

 

“Well, what do we do?” Justin restarted the conversation.

 

“I think that we need to make sure that Carlo doesn’t get to see Malcolm alone,” Brian suggested, “That’s probably the most important thing.  Somebody should be with Malcolm all the time Carlo is in town, if he comes at all.  He might not, you know.”

 

“That’s good, Bri,” Justin agreed, “Now why didn’t you tell poor Hunter that instead of saying that you’d lend Michael the keys to your car and let him flee with Malcolm to where nobody could find them?”

 

“I’m Brian Kinney, remember,” he answered, “I never say the right thing.”

 

“Yes you do, Sweetheart,” Justin replied, “And you can quit playing for sympathy too. How do you suppose we can make sure Malcolm always has one of us around?”

 

“We can let him stay here with us at night,” Brian thought, “He can sleep on the couch for a few nights.  Then we’ll just have to worry about the day time.”

 

“I don’t think I like that idea very much,” Justin groused.

 

“So the great do-gooder is not so helpful when it inconveniences him,” Brian accused.

 

“You don’t want Malcolm around here at night any more than I do, Kinney,” Justin insisted, “I could probably stand it better than you could.”

 

“I’m not sure about that, Baby,” Brian laughed, “But I was only trying to get a rise out of you. What I really thought is that we could put Malcolm into Michael’s old room – your old room too – at Debbie’s.  She and Vic would be there at night.  Carlo would never get past them.”

 

“That’s good, Bri,” Justin enthused, “It will be a kind of safe house.  If Carlo runs afoul of Debbie, he might get back to Italy without using Alitalia.”

 

“You and the guys at school will have to see that Malcolm has company during the daytime,” Brian stated, “I guess you can do that.”

 

“Yeah,” Justin replied, “That should be no problem.  Mikey and Ben will help, and I expect Hunter will be there as much as he can.  It could be that Hunter is really more worried about this than Malcolm is.”

 

“I knew that from the beginning,” Brian explained, “And I’m proud that you figured it out too.  But Malcolm is only comfortable in crazy situations if he creates them – which he usually does.”

 

“I think we’ve got a plan in place, Bri,” Justin decided, “You are great when you need to be.’

 

“Hunter told us the name of Carlo’s hotel in New York,” Brian concluded, “I think I might just make a phone call tomorrow to see if I can convince Carlo that a trip to Pittsburgh won’t do him any good.  That would be the best solution of all.”

 

“I am so glad I always have you around to protect me, not that I’d ever get into the trouble Malcolm does.” Justin whispered to the boy-friend.

 

“Yeah, you are,” Brian responded, “And I’m also in charge of  protecting the piranhas at the Aquarium.  They need about as much protection as you do”

 

“I’m ignoring you,” Justin warned him, flashing a sunshine smile which told Brian he was not being ignored at all.

 

And a period of contented silence ensued.

 

It was Brian who eventually resumed the conversation, “What would a successful thirty year old professional guy want with some crazy teen-ager anyhow, I wonder?” Brian stated, “I can’t figure it out.”

 

“If you’re confused about that, Honey,” Justin smiled at him, “I think I can help you to understand it.”

 

“I’d really appreciate that if you would,” Brian leered back at the twink.

 

“My pleasure,” Justin told him.


	81. Chapter  81 - Play Ball

“I see that your Pirates lost again last night,” Brian told Justin as they got themselves into position in front of the fireplace. 

“Why do I think they might just be your Pirates if they ever won big,” Justin responded.

 

“They did win the World Series once when I was a kid,” Brian remembered, “They must have been my Pirates back then all right.  They couldn’t have been your Pirates because you weren’t even born yet.”

 

“OK, Kinney,” Justin challenged him, “I can see you’re looking for some kind of an argument, so let the games begin.  I’m ready for you.”

 

“I am not looking for an argument at all. Twink,” Brian defended himself, “If I wanted an argument, all I’d have to do is wait till you started one.”

 

“Well it looks to me like the argument tonight is going to be about the argument, Honey,” Justin laughed.  “You are not the least bit interested in baseball.  When I go to a game, I have to go with Ethan or Malcolm, or somebody else, because you won’t go.  So why are you talking about the Pirates all of a sudden if you aren’t looking for an argument?”

 

“Maybe I have a reason, and maybe I was just making small talk,” Brian pretended to grouse.  “I was not trying to start an argument.”

 

“Cut it out, Brian,” Justin laughed at him, “I know you have some ulterior motive and you’re not nearly as good at sneaking up on subjects you want to discuss as I am.”  
  
”Lack of practice,” Brian surmised.

 

“Probably,” Justin admitted, “But why don’t you just tell me what you want to tell me?”

 

“I have to go to the ball game Friday night and I want you to come with me,” Brian came to the point.

 

“You have to go to the ball game?” Justin echoed.

 

“Yeah,” Brian continued, “You’ve heard me mention Bill Evans of Consolidated.  He’s a good client.  Well, his big boss from Texas is going to be in town.  He wants to go to the ball game, and he wants to meet me.  He likes our advertising campaign.  Some people do appreciate me, you know.  So Bill has this luxury box at PNC Park and we’re invited.”

 

“Do they know about us?” Justin wanted to know.

 

“They know about me,” Brian grinned,  “So they won’t be surprised when they see you with me.  I guess they might be surprised once you open your mouth though.”

 

“Do you really want me to go?” Justin asked him. “It’s OK for you to go without me if that would be better.”

 

“Without you is never better,” Brian told him, causing a bright smile to erupt on Justin’s face.

 

“Every once in a while you say something that makes putting up with you the rest of the time really worth while,” Justin told him.

 

“That really warms my heart, Sunshine,” Brian had to laugh, “Who the hell are they playing Friday night?”

 

“Let me look at my schedule,” Justin answered as he pulled out his wallet. “Atlanta,” he told Brian, “And you know what, Bri, Friday is Bobble-Head night.  We will each get a free Bobble-Head doll when we enter the park.  That’s great.  You do know what a Bobble-Head doll is, don’t you, Honey?”

 

“I’m in advertising, Twink,” Brian retorted, “So I know what a Bobble-Head doll is, but I never include them in my campaigns.  I think they’re dumb.”

 

“Everybody loves Bobble-Head dolls, Bri,” Justin insisted, “I bet they sell out the game just because of the dolls.”

 

“Well don’t get any ideas about displaying your Bobble-Head doll on my Ludwig Mies van der Rohe table, Baby,” Brian warned him.  “I have to go to this ball game but I don’t need a permanent reminder of it.”

 

“It never occurred to me to display our Bobble-Head doll on our Mies van der Rohe table, Sweetie,” Justin responded.  “I know how fussy you are about our loft.”

 

“I’m just going to throw my Bobble-Head doll into the nearest trash receptacle as soon as I get it,” Brian groused.

 

“You are not either, Brian Kinney,” Justin insisted, “Gus would love it.”

 

“Or I could give it to Mikey,” Brian smiled, “Mikey loves works of art.  Or I could give mine to Gus and you can give yours to Mike.  That’s what we’ll do.”

 

“You’re making me go to this game, and you’re not even letting me keep my Bobble-Head doll,” Justin complained. “You are pretty mean, Brian.”

 

“One bobble-head in this loft is enough,” Brian countered, “And the one I have already is the only one I want to keep.”

 

“Brian,” Justin smiled admiringly at him, “You are the only person in the world who could call somebody a bobble-head and make it into a romantic statement.”

 

“I guess I’m just an incurable romantic,” Brian proposed.

 

“That’s it,” Justin agreed, burrowing himself closer into Brian’s side.  Brian did not complain.  And they just sat there for several minutes, happily watching the fake flames dart hither and yon.

 

“You know what, Bri,” Justin broke the silence, “My favorite times at Pirate games were the times when I went with my dad.  I enjoy going to the games with the guys but I always think about the times I went with my dad.  I think going with you will be my new favorite memory of the ball park.”

 

“Didn’t you once tell me that your favorite ball park memory with your dad was when you slathered your hot dog with mustard and then dropped it on yourself,” Brian grinned.  “So maybe no hot dogs on Friday, OK?”

 

“You don’t have to worry about that, Honey,” Justin informed him.  “You know that mustard colored shirt I have that I never wear.  Well I always wear it to the ball park.”

 

Brian couldn’t think of a romantic rejoinder for that statement so another period of quiet fire-watching ensued.

 

A little later, Justin again restarted the conversation.  “I won’t embarrass you Friday night, Brian.  I won’t yell too loud or root too hard.” he promised.  “I’ll be on my best behavior.”

 

“Sunshine,” Brian assured him, “Just be yourself.  You couldn’t embarrass me whatever you do.  I kinda like you just the way you are.”

 

“Gee Brian,” Justin said, “This is the best argument we ever had.  I’m really enjoying this evening, but you look worried and that bothers me some.  What is it?”

 

“Well, if you want to know,” Brian told him, “I’m wondering why you seem to be eying up our Mies van der Rohe table.  I know I shouldn’t worry because our Bobble-Heads are spoken for, but I am wondering, that’s all.  I guess that’s crazy.”

 

Justin didn’t answer so there was another silent period.

 

Eventually Justin ran his fingers sensuously through Brian’s hair.  “Maybe Bill Evans or his big boss from Texas won’t want their Bobble-Head dolls,” he told Brian.

 

Brian threw both arms around the kid.  “Baby,” he answered, “This argument is over.  I’m ready to make up.”

 

“Me too,” Justin agreed.


	82. Chapter 82 - Model Behavior

The guys were in their accustomed place on the floor staring at the fireplace.  Brian had his arm around Justin and Justin’s head lay on Brian’s shoulder.  The scene appeared to be one of complete domestic serenity but perhaps things were not as serene as they might have looked. 

“Brian,” Justin was complaining, “You’re always trying to get me to do something I don’t want to do.  I would never do that to you.”

 

“I know you wouldn’t.  You never have, at least.  But you know I am meaner than you are,” Brian answered.

 

“Yeah, I do,” Justin agreed, snuggling up closer to Brian, “But you’re still a pretty nice guy most of the time.”

 

This exchange was the continuation of a discussion begun at dinner.  Brian had a new advertising account for a commercial photography company and he wanted Justin to sit for a portrait or maybe a series of portraits with their ace photographer in the hope that he would get some ideas for the ad campaign.

 

“I don’t see what you’re complaining about.  You don’t have to do the suit and tie bit,” Brian took the initiative, “I actually want you in casual clothes.”

 

“I guess you’re just too lazy to tie my tie for me,” Justin mused.

 

“Sunshine,” Brian smiled at him, “I think you know I know you can tie your own tie, and you’re the one who is too lazy to tie it.  I still do it for you because I tie your tie better than you do.”

 

“A lot you know,” Justin smiled back at him, “I’m not too lazy and you don’t tie it better than I can.  That’s not at all why I want you to do it for me.”

 

“Well, maybe I don’t tie it just because I think I can do it better than you either,” Brian replied before trying another tack, “It seems to me that you would like to have a nice picture of yourself.  You could look at it instead of spending so much time in front of the mirror.”

 

“I don’t spend a lot of time looking in the mirror, Brian,” Justin objected.  “You’re picking on me.”

 

“Twenty minutes to comb your hair seems like a lot of time to me,” Brian countered.  “Debbie tells the story about how you told her you couldn’t just tumble out of bed and look like you look, but even at that, I don’t think it should take twenty minutes just to comb your hair.”

 

“Maybe I should get you to comb my hair for me too,” Justin laughed.

 

“Probably could do it better than you do, or at least in less time,” Brian allowed, “But I think I’ll pass on that offer, even if I wouldn’t mind looking at you for that twenty minutes.  You are kind of cute, you know.”

 

“Well, now at least you’re beginning to use sensible arguments,” Justin grinned.

 

“I wouldn’t mind having some nice pictures of you around anyhow, in addition to the ad campaign,” Brian told him.

 

“You don’t need pictures of me, Brian,” Justin responded, “You have the real me right here.”

 

“Yeah, that’s true,” Brian went on, “But their top photographer will catch you at your most flattering angles. And you’re not going to stay as young and cute as you are forever, and someday soon, I might need the pictures to remind me of how cute you were.”

 

“So are you saying there are unflattering angles too?  I don’t think that’s such a good argument you’re making right now, Honey.” Justin told him.  “Not if you want my cooperation on this project.”

 

“Sorry, Baby,” Brian apologized, smiling at him,  “But everybody doesn’t have you around all the time, and I promised copies of these pictures to your mother and Daphne and Debbie.  Mikey and the girls want copies too, and they are all going to be disappointed if they don’t get them.  I seem to remember you threatening to have Mikey come over and whine at me if I didn’t do something or other.  Mikey is an equal-opportunity whiner and you’ll hear plenty from him.  Your mother will probably be miffed too if she doesn’t get the pictures I promised her.  Even Debbie may have something to say.”

 

“I see that you are prepared to threaten me,” Justin replied, smiling back at Brian.  “Didn’t you know I’d do anything for you just because you wanted me to?”

 

“Yeah,” Brian admitted, “I knew you’d do it if I wanted you to, but I also knew you’d only want to do it after you won some argument about it and I wanted to win the argument too.”

 

“You are a tough guy, Brian Kinney, and I’ll let you win this one,” Justin surrendered, “But I want some things too.”

 

“I hope there aren’t any ‘rules.’  Somehow I think maybe you still think you can win,” Brian informed him.  “Just what is that you want?”

 

“I want you to sit for some pictures too.  I want some of you by yourself and I want some of us together.  I want them for the same reasons you want my pictures.  And before you argue about this, I want you to know that I plan to promise copies of those pictures of you to the same people who want mine, so those threats you’ve been throwing at me apply to you too.”

 

“But I don’t need…,” Brian started to say.

 

“Take it or leave it,” Justin interrupted him.

 

“I’ll take it,” Brian told him, “But you drive a hard bargain and I am learning from you.  Someday you may be sorry.”

 

“I haven’t been sorry yet.” Justin taunted him.  “Having you around may be inconvenient sometimes but I don’t think I’ll ever be sorry.  So when will this big picture session be happening?” 

 

“Probably next week,” Brian replied, “And we’ll set it up to fit into your schedule.  But I better mention something else to you before we finish this discussion.  I have it in the back of my mind that we might even use your pictures in the advertising campaign.  If that happens, you’ll also pick up some modeling fees.  Is that OK with you?”

 

“You think I might be a model?” Justin responded with some surprise,  “You really must think I’m cute.  I don’t know about being a model but I guess it would be all right though.  I once told Daphne that I could be a model.  My picture may end up on nightstands all over Pittsburgh.  You could be sharing me with the whole town.  Is that OK with you?”

 

“They’ll have pictures.  I’ll have you.  There is a difference, you know,” Brian laughed, “And this campaign is not just local.  You could have your picture on nightstands all over the United States and Canada, at least.”

 

“Now that’s a little scary, Brian,” Justin told him, “But I’ll try to handle it.  You know I’ll do it if that’s what you want.  And don’t worry if I don’t turn out to be the model for the campaign.  That will be OK too.  I don’t need to be on anyone else’s nightstand.  The only person I need to think I’m cute is you.”

 

“Does that mean the twenty minutes you spend combing your hair is just for me?” Brian wanted to know.  “If so,” he continued before he got interrupted.

 

“Cut it out, Honey,” Justin replied, “I like to be neat for everybody.  You know what though?  Maybe we could use some of your pictures in the campaign too. You’re pretty cute yourself.”

 

“I don’t think so,” Brian answered, “I don’t fit the demographic we’re looking for.”

 

Justin looked a bit puzzled.  Then he began to laugh.  “You’re looking for someone young,” he giggled, “And you’re too old for the demographic.”

 

“You won’t fit the demographic either with a black eye,” Brian warned the twink while squeezing him even closer, “Or maybe you would if I worked the black eye into the campaign.”

 

“Brian,” Justin said, “It’s just so great that we can talk about things like this.  Do you realize how well we get along together?  We are perfectly matched.  That’s why I’m going to stay here with you forever.”

 

Brian smiled at the kid.  “Well I hope you do stay at least until next week.” He told him.   “After that I’ll still have your picture.”


	83. Chapter 83 - Garden Parties

Justin and Brian were sitting on the floor of the loft in front of the couch, staring at the flickering flames in their fireplace.  “Seems to me that Mel and Linz have a lot of anniversary parties in their back yard, Honey,” Brian was telling Justin, “Weren’t we at some anniversary party of theirs just a couple of months ago?” 

“Yeah,” Justin agreed, “But they celebrate the anniversaries of a lot of things in their life together and that’s nice.  I’ll bet you don’t remember any of our significant dates.”

 

“Every time I’m with you is a significant date, Kiddo.” Brian responded. “ So we could celebrate anniversaries for all of them and that would be just about every day.  We could easily have more anniversary parties than the munchers.”

 

“Darn it, Bri,” Justin objected, “You know how I like to complain, and every time I do, you say something really romantic and ruin it for me.”

 

“I’m sorry, Baby,” Brian told him, “I’ll try not to do that any more.”

 

“Don’t you dare try that, Sweetheart,” Justin responded, “Or you’ll really hear me complaining.”

 

“It looks to me like I can’t win,” Brian voiced a complaint of his own.

 

Justin ruffled Brian’s hair as he told him: “I think you’ll think of something.”

 

“Yeah, I will. I think I’m thinking of something right now, ” Brian smiled at the kid, and they ended the discussion temporarily.

 

“We always have a good time at those garden parties, Brian,” Justin eventually suggested, “It gives us a chance to see the whole gang together and we don’t do that as much as we should.”

 

“You really do like to go then?” Brian asked him.

 

“Yeah, I do,” Justin replied.  “I know why you’re asking that and I want to tell you I appreciate your caring about me so much.  Because at Gus’ birthday party I remembered Chris Hobbs and….”

 

“We don’t have to talk about that now,” Brian comforted him, “I just didn’t want you to think you had to go if it did bother you.”

 

“No it doesn’t,” Justin assured him.  “You were there for me then and you were there for me whenever I needed somebody.  You got me through all that.  It doesn’t bother me now.  There have been other parties there since then and I haven’t had any problems.  If I do have any, I’ll always have you with me.  So I’m not worried and you shouldn’t be either.”

 

“Well maybe I can think of one other garden party I didn’t like,” Brian recalled, “You came with the fiddler – I didn’t like him very much then.”

 

“That was your own fault Brian,” Justin told him with a slight smile, “I would never have come with Ethan but you said you definitely weren’t coming at all, and then you showed up and eventually got yourself thrown out.”

 

“Your fault,” Brian told him.

 

“It was not,” Justin objected.

 

“Yes it was, Twink,” Brian insisted.

 

Justin nestled in closer to Brian.  “I wish I’d have known that then,” he said.

 

“I wish I could have told you,” Brian replied, gazing vacantly into the firelight.

 

A little later, it was Brian who resumed the conversation.  “I think they just have all these parties to get the gifts,” he said to Justin.

 

“They always say not to bring gifts,” Justin remarked, “But we do because we like to.”

 

Brian was laughing.  “Yeah, we do,” Brian said, “Like the last time when Mel was making that great big fuss about how useful our gift was, and I didn’t know what the hell we gave them.”

 

“Not my fault either, Bri,” Justin retorted, “I told you several times what we were taking them and you didn’t pay any attention to me.”

 

“Are you complaining now that I don’t pay any attention to you?” Brian laughed at him.

 

“Only when I’m telling you about what we got Mel and Linz,” Justin emphasized, but he was laughing too, “So maybe you should pick up the gift this time.  When you tell me what you’ve picked out, I’ll pay attention to you and remember what it is.”

 

“Yeah,” Brian allowed, “But maybe if I pick it out, they won’t think it’s useful enough to make a fuss about.”

 

“You’re right, Brian,” Justin agreed, “Just like always.  I guess the best solution would be that we go to get the gift together.”

 

“It’s not as if I don’t like to do things with you, Baby, but if I promise to pay attention to you when you tell me what you got,” Brian reasoned, “Do I have to go?”

 

“You are impossible, Brian Kinney,” Justin smiled at him.

 

“Don’t you like the challenge?” Brian retorted.

 

“You don’t hear me complaining,” Justin told him.

 

“Oh no,” Brian had to laugh, “Never.”

 

That comment earned Brian a light elbow to the ribs and a head of blond hair against his cheek.  He wasn’t inclined to complain about either.

 

“You know, Sunshine,” Brian reminded him a little later, “This party is on a Friday so I’ll have to come directly from the office. We’ll have to get to the party separately, OK?”

 

“Yeah,” Justin answered, “I already figured that out.  Actually, Ethan said he’d pick me up.”

 

“So then you’re going to this garden party with Ethan,” Brian marveled, “And I’m coming by myself?  Why does that stir up memories?”

 

“Cut it out Brian,” Justin laughed, “It’s different this time around.  I may be going with Ethan but I’m going to save the last dance for you.  You’re the guy I’ll be going home with – and in whose arms I want to be.  So don’t be getting yourself thrown out.”

 

“Didn’t you once say that song was pretty corny?” Brian asked him.

 

“It is a corny song,” Justin confirmed, “But you’re still the only guy in whose arms I want to be.”

 

“That suits me fine, Baby, but do you suppose we need to wait till the garden party for that to happen?” Brian wondered.

 

“Not at all,” Justin smiled at him, “I don’t think we should wait.  I don’t want to take a chance on you getting thrown out of the party again.  Why should I have to suffer because you cause problems?”

 

So they didn’t wait.


	84. Chapter 84 - Ups and Downs

The guys were having dinner in the loft.  Justin had just provided Brian with some information, and Justin was now thinking he should have waited till the fireplace was lit. 

Brian was not smiling.  Justin would have been hard put to describe the look on Brian’s face, but he was sure it was not a particularly happy look.  “A gay and lesbian day at Kennywood?” Brian blurted out, “And you want me to go?”

 

“Brian, we’re lucky to have a world-famous amusement park just a twenty minute drive away,” Justin reasoned, “And this is the first gay-lesbian day they’ve ever had.  Groups are coming in from as far away as Chicago and St. Louis.  We want it to be a success and our Center gets a cut of the profits.  Mel is on the board over there and we need to support it.  But the real reason we need to go is because of Gus.  It’s his first trip to Kennywood and his father should be there.”

 

“You’re his father too, Twink,” Brian grumbled, “You go.”

 

“I am going,” Justin pleaded, “But we need you to be there.  You’ll be glad you went, I promise you.”

 

A trace of a smile appeared on Brian’s face.  “You know why you got the job of telling me about this, don’t you?” he asked the kid.

 

“Yeah,” Justin admitted, “Nobody thinks you’ll go, but I was hoping you’d go if I asked you.  It’s not for me, Honey.  It’s for you and for Gus.  I’m so sure you’ll have a good time and you may regret it forever if you don’t see Gus on his first trip to Kennywood.”

 

“So who all’s going?” Brian wanted to know.

 

“Everybody, Bri,” Justin enumerated, “Mike and Ben, Hunter and Malcolm, Vic and Rodney, Mel and Linz, Emmett and Ted, Debbie and Carl – everybody.”

 

“Then they don’t need me there,” Brian concluded.

 

“Gus needs you there,” Justin reminded him, “And I need you there.  Me and Gus will not have a good time if you’re not there.  Please say you’ll go.”

 

“It’s not saying I’ll go that bothers me,” Brian said, “It’s going.  But let me think about it for a while.  You’re not going to be mad at me if I don’t go, are you?”

 

“You know better than that, Honey,” Justin replied.  “I don’t even want you to go if you really don’t want to go, but I would love to have you there, and I’m so sure you’ll enjoy watching Gus if you do.”

 

The subject was dropped for a while.  It was inevitable that it would come up again once the fireplace was lit.  And that is exactly what happened.

 

“If we go to Kennywood, Bri,” Justin resumed the discussion once they were settled in on the floor in front of the flames, “I think all we should do is spend our time in Kiddieland with Gus.  I don’t think we should do any of the rides ourselves.”

 

“I’m the only one in the gang who is not a big Kennywood freak, Baby,” Brian told him, “So all the others will be riding a good bit of the time.  And you seem to me to be the Kennywood type too.  In fact, don’t I remember Daphne telling me that you guys rode the roller coaster thirty times one picnic day a few years back?”

 

“Yeah we did, Brian,” Justin admitted, “But that was dumb.  I was just a kid then.  I’m too old for that foolishness now.  If you decide you want to ride some things though, I’ll ride with you.  But not the roller coasters.”

 

“Why not the coasters?” Brian asked

 

“I don’t know,” Justin began but was interrupted.

 

“Because Mikey has a great big mouth, I think,” Brian finished Justin’s sentence for him, “Isn’t that why?”

 

Justin broke into a grin.  “You like to blame Mikey for everything, Brian,” he corrected Brian, “It wasn’t Mikey this time.  It was Linz.  She didn’t want me to be too disappointed when you refused to come with us.  She was pretty sure you wouldn’t.  They all were.”

 

“Coasters bother me, Sunshine,” Brian confessed, “It’s not that I’m scared of them.  I just don’t like them.  And since that’s what all the kids liked to ride, I developed a kind of Kennywood phobia.  They all know that.  I’d just be a big drag for you if I go.  You’ll have a better time if I stay home.”

 

“No I won’t,” Justin protested, “I’ll go without you but only because of Gus.  If you don’t go, I don’t want to go either.”

 

Justin rested his head on Brian’s shoulder and the guys sat without saying anything for a while.  Finally Brian pulled Justin a little closer.  “If it means that much to you, I’ll go,” he told the kid.  “I’m going for Gus but mostly for you.”

 

“That’s the greatest, Bri,” Justin exulted, “You’ll be glad you decided to go.  I know you will.”

 

“You knew all along that I’d go, didn’t you?”  Brian challenged him.

 

“No, I didn’t,” Justin responded.  “I did not think you’d go, but I thought it was important enough for me to try to get you to go.”

 

“You underestimate your powers of persuasion, Baby.  But you’re not completely off the hook,” Brian warned him, “I want something in return.”

 

“Like as if you couldn’t have anything you want from me even if you didn’t go, Sweetheart,” Justin told him, “But I’m still interested in what it is you think you want.”

 

“I want you to take me on all the roller coasters,” Brian said, “And hold my hand if I get nervous.”

 

“Geez, Brian,” Justin responded, “If that’s what you want, I’ll probably have to try to make you nervous.”

 

“Well I don’t want you to try to make me nervous so I guess you better hold my hand whether I’m nervous or not,” Brian decided.

 

“You drive a hard bargain, Kinney,” Justin told him, “But you’ve got yourself a deal, and I have to admit that I think I’m coming out ahead on this one.”

 

“That’s what makes a good deal,” Brian advised him, “When the sucker thinks he’s coming out ahead.”

 

Justin couldn’t have been happier as he sat staring at the fake flames in the fireplace.  Brian seemed contented too now that the decision had been made.

 

“You know what, Sunshine,” Brian broke the silence, “We’ll see that Gus gets to ride everything in Kiddieland, but we can also take him on the big Merry-Go-Round.  That way we can ride with him.  We’ll hold him on one of those fancy horses that goes up and down.  You might be right about me having a good time at Kennywood.”

 

“Brian, Honey,” Justin warned him, “I always get sick on the Merry-Go-Round.  Things that just go around upset my stomach.  Maybe I better just watch you and Gus ride or maybe Mel or Linz will go on with you.”

 

“I don’t want you to get sick, Sunshine,” Brian consoled him, “So if you can’t ride with us, you can watch and we’ll wave at you every time we come past you.  But if you decide to try to ride with us, I’ll hold your hand to see if that settles your stomach.”

 

“Holding your hand does not settle my stomach, Brian,” Justin smiled, “That’s not what it does at all.  But since I like what holding your hand does do to me, I’ll bring Pepto-Bismol tablets along and take my chances.”

 

“Maybe we’ll be able to tell Daphne that we rode the Merry-Go-Round thirty times,” Brian proposed, “That would impress her, I bet.”

 

“Brian,” Justin observed, “If that’s your goal, I think you better start holding my hand now.”

 

And Brian was happy to comply.


	85. Chapter 85 - Considerate and Sensitive

“I was talking to Mikey today,” Brian told Justin as they settled themselves in front of the fireplace.  “He wanted me to find out if you had been talking to Hunter lately.” 

“Well he’s been in Cincinnati for the past few days visiting Malcolm’s family,” Justin replied, “But I talked to him a day or so before he left.  Let me guess, Bri, Mikey is worried again that they’re going to elope, isn’t he?”

 

“Would Hunter be likely to tell you if they were?” Brian asked, “I didn’t think you were that tight with Hunter.”

 

“Actually he might, Honey,” Justin informed him.  “Hunter talks to me about stuff.  But I’m pretty sure Malcolm would have told me if that’s what they were planning.  Neither of them mentioned it to me, but knowing them, something like that could come up on the spur of the moment.  I don’t really think so though.   I haven’t heard about any gay marriages in Ohio.”

 

“I don’t know if that will satisfy Mikey or not,” Brian smiled, “But I’ll convey the word.  Actually, would you tell me if either of them had told you they were planning to elope?”

 

“Yeah,” Justin assured him, “I’d tell you, but I don’t think I’d allow you to tell Michael.  I’m not a tattle-tale and those guys trust me.  I’d advise them not to do any eloping though.  I think it would be kind of dumb.  They’re too young.  They need more time to really get to know each other.”

 

The conversation hit a lull at this point, which gave the guys a chance just to stare at the heatless flames, now on the summer setting, as they enjoyed each other’s company.

 

“Brian,” Justin asked after a while, “Did Mikey mention anything to you about maybe him and Ben going someplace where they’re doing gay weddings?  Linz and Mel figure maybe they’re thinking about that.”

 

“Baby, you got me this time,” Brian admitted, “But no yelling about me not telling you.  I was going to tell you before we got up.”

 

“OK, then why didn’t you?” Justin smiled as he challenged him.

 

“Because I was having such a good time sitting here hanging on to you that I didn’t want to break the spell,” Brian told him.

 

“Chalk one up for Kinney,” Justin laughed.  “You’re off the hook, but you are getting either more romantic or sneakier, Brian.  Either way, I guess I like it.”

 

“They’re just thinking about the possibility, Sunshine,” Brian went on, “Nothing is decided.  Mike wondered what I thought about it.  I don’t think it’s a secret though.  They’d probably be interested in what you thought about it too.  What do you think?”

 

“You first, Brian.” Justin decided, “What did you tell Mikey?”

 

“I told him about Freddy and Chuck.  I don’t think you know either of them.  They were living together for eight years with never a problem,” Brian related, “So they flew out to somewhere where they’re doing gay weddings and got themselves married.  In less than a month after they got back here, it was all over with them.  They decided to get a divorce but then they found out that there weren’t any provisions for gay divorce so now they’re stuck.”

 

“You have to be kidding, Honey,” Justin surmised.

 

“No, I’m not,” Brian insisted.  “That’s just the way it happened.  Freddy told me himself.  Society will let us get married some places but not divorced.”

 

“I’ll bet Mikey was happy to get all that information, Brian,” Justin laughed, “I don’t think that was what he was looking for though.”

 

“I don’t think it was,” Brian admitted, “But he asked and I thought I ought to tell him.  OK, now what would you have told him?”

 

“I would have told him that he and Ben should decide for themselves,” Justin said, “They’re old enough and they know each other and they know what they want.  If marriage is what they want, they should go for it.  But I wouldn’t want to tell them what to decide.”

 

“Too bad they don’t have gay marriages in Las Vegas yet,” Brian smiled, “They could go out there and get married and try it for a couple of hours and then get an annulment if they didn’t like it.  Just like straight people do.”

 

“You are cynical, Brian Kinney,” Justin told him, “But I knew that when I fell for you so I guess I can’t complain.”

 

“Baby?” Brian began a new tack.

 

“We’ve had this talk before, Brian,” Justin smiled at him.  “We are together forever and we both know that.  So we don’t have any legal document that tells us that but we know it.  Someday we’ll probably get that document but not yet.  Our time will come.”

 

“Yeah, it will, I guess,” Brian answered him, “When the world is ready for us.”

 

“Do you think the world will ever be ready for us?” Justin had to laugh.  “I don’t mean just any two gay guys.  I mean us, like with a capital U.”

 

“The world does not have a choice, Baby,” Brian assured him, “We’re here.”

 

“Maybe we’d be better off,” Justin concluded, “If the world didn’t notice.”

 

The conversation trailed off at this point and the guys just sat there kind of wrapped up in each other.

 

“Brian,” Justin eventually said, “I know you think I’m more conventional than you are and I guess I am, but I don’t think I’m as conventional as you think I am.  I do appreciate your bringing up the subject because you figure it’s something I might want.  And I do want it.  But I told you before, I want us to make public vows when we can do it legally right here in front of our friends.  I know somebody has to push the envelope on this but I don’t want to be the one.  I have you and that’s enough for me.”

 

“Thanks for giving me so much credit for being sensitive to your needs, Baby,” Brian replied, “But there’s a little more that I didn’t mention and I guess I have to tell you now.  Mikey and Ben are actually talking about going to Toronto the weekend after next.  It’s not definite yet but Mikey wanted to know if we’d come with them as witnesses if they go.  Believe me, I really was being sensitive, just like you thought I was, but I also wondered how safe it was to take you to Ontario.”

 

“Brian Kinney, you’re a rat,” Justin reacted, “I wouldn’t marry you now if you got down on both knees and asked me.”

 

“Bet you would,” Brian gloated.

 

“Well I don’t think I would,” Justin had to laugh, “But it might be safer if you didn’t try it.”

 

“So it’s OK that I told Mikey we would go with them if that’s what they decided.  Of course Hunter will be going too,” Brian informed Justin.

 

“Wait a minute, Brian,” Justin responded, “If you already told him that, you didn’t know then how I was going to react.  What if I did want to get married?”

 

“Well,” Brian started, then he paused.

 

“You’d do it if I wanted, wouldn’t you?” Justin gushed, “You are considerate and sensitive, Brian Kinney.”

 

“Not so loud,” Brian answered him, “I don’t care if you know that but I don’t want it to be public knowledge.  Nobody else would want a sensitive and considerate Brian Kinney.”

 

“Brian,” Justin teased, “If you really want to get married….”

 

“Actually, I do,” Brian teased him back, “But not on this trip to Toronto, if we go.  I’d rather wait until they get better divorce arrangements set up.”

 

“So much for considerate and sensitive,” Justin told him.  


	86. Chapter 86 - Just the Two of Us

“It won’t be the same,” Justin was complaining to Brian as they sat close together in front of the fake fireplace.

“We have always spent Labor Day with the whole gang.  I’m glad we’re all getting together at Mel and Linz’ the next Sunday but Labor Day will seem kind of empty.  This is not going to be a very exciting Labor Day at all.”

 

“You’ll have me, Baby,” Brian reminded him.  “Can’t we figure out some way to enjoy the holiday with just the two of us?  Mel has to be in New Orleans for that convention, and it makes sense for Linz and Gus to go along.

We can go to Point Park if you want to.”

 

“Everyday’s a holiday when there’s just the two of us,” Justin smiled at him, “And you know I love to have you all to myself.  But I like the excitement of the whole crowd on Labor Day.  That doesn’t mean we won’t have a great time ourselves.  I don’t think I want to go to Point Park though, unless you really want to.”

 

“Well then, you know what, Sunshine,” Brian told him, “Cynthia made a suggestion when she heard we might not have our Labor Day party this year.  She said I should take you to New York for the weekend.”

 

“And I’ll bet you thought that was a great idea, and you made all the arrangements, and we’re going to New York, and I have nothing to say about it,” Justin laughed, “Right?”

 

“I guess partly right,” Brian admitted.  “I did make all the arrangements without telling you, but I think you’ll have something to say about it.  You usually have something to say about just about everything.  And you have veto power too.  We won’t go if you don’t want to.”

 

“I love you, Brian.  That’s what I have to say about this.  You’re the greatest guy in the world and you’re always taking care of me.  Of course I want to go.  Now what did Cynthia decide for us to do in New York, Bri?” Justin asked, “Or can’t I know that either.”

 

“Cynthia made some of the arrangements, Smart Guy,” Brian grinned at him, “But I was involved too, and I can prove it.”

 

“Prove it then,” Justin challenged him.

 

“OK,” Brian took the dare.  “The hotel we’re staying in is the one where I found you when you ran away and I had to chase you up there to bring you back”

 

“You’re kidding, Bri,” Justin exclaimed.  “You have to be kidding.”

 

“No, I’m not, Sweetheart,” Brian replied, “And they’re saving the same room for us too.  I don’t think you can claim that Cynthia did that.”

 

“You remembered the room number?” Justin wondered out loud.

 

“I remembered the room number,” Brian told him.

 

“Now that’s really romantic, Brian.  Maybe this Labor Day is not going to turn out so bad after all,” Justin told him.  “You know, I never left the room the last time I was in that hotel.”

 

“Well you’re going to this time.  Cynthia got us reservations for a couple of dinners in some fancy restaurants and we’re going to a couple of shows too,” Brian told him.  “I hope that won’t disappoint you.”

 

“No, it won’t,” Justin laughed.  “We were just courting the last time but now we’re an old established couple.  Do you think it will be all-you-can-eat night at the restaurants?”

 

“So we were courting the last time, were we?  You’re really getting into the spirit of this trip now, Baby,” Brian laughed back at him.  “But you can forget the needling.  I’m kind of looking forward to this and you’re not going to ruin it for me.  I intend to have a great time.”

 

“And I’m going to have a great time too,” Justin agreed, “Mostly because I’m going to be with you.  And I promise to be on my best behavior at the fancy restaurants.”

 

“I picked the shows too, Honey,” Brian bragged.  “I know how you love Wizard of Oz so we’re going to see Wicked which is about the characters in the Wizard.”

 

“I don’t know if that’s such a good idea, Brian,” Justin said, “It might spoil Wizard of Oz for me if it’s too different from the movie.”

 

“It’s not the same as the movie, Sweetheart.  It just has some of the same characters.  It’s supposed to be a good show and it sells out regularly,” Brian replied.  “Why would it spoil Wizard for you.”

 

“Well,” Justin explained, “I have all the characters from the movie in my mind and I’ll bet real live actors can’t be as good as the movie ones.   I think they might be too realistic for me.  How could some live actor play a munchkin, Brian?”

 

“I’ll bet they can,” Brian maintained.  “I’m sure there are real actors who can play munchkins.  I’ll bet Malcolm could.  I’ll bet you could too, Baby.  I think you’d be a terrific munchkin.  Actually sometimes you do remind me of a munchkin.”

 

“Well that’s something you’re never going to see,” Justin laughed, “Me playing a munchkin.  But if Malcolm ever does the play in Pittsburgh, maybe you could play the Wizard.  You are kind of a wizard, you know.”

 

“I think I told you that my stage career is over forever,” Brian reminded him.  “There’s as much chance of me playing the Wizard as there is of you playing a munchkin.”

 

“I love you, Brian,” Justin whispered as he laid his head on Brian’s shoulder.

 

It was a while before the silence was broken.

 

“Brian,” Justin said, “Let’s do all the touristy things while we’re in New York.”  
  
”Like what?” Brian wanted to know.

 

“Oh, the Empire State Building, the Staten Island ferry, bicycles in Central Park, that kind of thing,” Justin told him.

 

“You’ve been to New York lots of times with your folks,” Brian wondered, “Won’t all that be old stuff for you?”

 

“I’ve done it all before, Bri,” Justin admitted, “But I’ve never done those things with you.  It’s always different when I do things with you.  I guess that sounds crazy.”

 

“Actually, it doesn’t sound crazy at all, Sunshine,” Brian told him, “I know exactly what you’re talking about.  Having you around make things different for me too.”

 

Brian pulled the kid a little closer and the talk stopped for a while.

 

As usual, it was Justin who broke the silence.  “Brian,” he said, “I think this is going to be the best Labor Day of my life.”  


	87. Chapter 87 - The Right Fork

“You know I hate that kind of stuff, Baby,” Brian was complaining to Justin as they sat on the floor in front of their couch, facing their fake fireplace, “Why didn’t you just tell Mikey we couldn’t go?” 

“Because we should go,” Justin said.  “I was asked only because Mikey really wants you there.  They’re honoring Ben but it’s Mikey’s night of triumph too and he wants you to be part of it.  He needs you to be part of it and he deserves to have you be part of it.”

 

“So I’m supposed to sit through a bunch of boring speeches to see Ben get some award for good teaching, just to please Mikey,” Brian responded.

 

“That’s about it,” Justin told him, “But you know it’s a lot more than that too, Bri.  Ben is our friend and he’s being honored as one of the ten best teachers at CMU.  We ought to be there to let him know how proud we are of him.  And you know it would mean a lot to Michael to have you there too.”

 

“Why doesn’t he take his mother?” Brian asked.

 

“Maybe he will,” Justin answered, “But that’s not the point.  Whether Debbie is there or not, he wants you.”

 

“I don’t think so,” Brian reasoned, “He probably wants you there to see that he uses the right fork.  You and Ted got him ready for that weird dinner party at Dr. Dave’s, and he doesn’t want the CMU crowd to know what a yokel he is.  Tell him to take Ted and then he won’t need you.”

 

“Brian, Honey,” Justin had his turn to complain, “You are getting exasperating.  It is up to you to decide if you’ll go or not.  I just wanted you to know how I felt about it.”

 

“I’ll bet you told him I’d go to the damn thing,” Brian accused him.

 

“I did not,” Justin retorted, “And I now am officially exasperated, so this discussion is closed.”

 

But the discussion was not closed.  Brian squeezed the kid, pulling him even closer.  “We both would have a better time that night sitting here, just the two of us,” Brian tempted him.  “I can absolutely promise you a better time.”

 

Justin had to smile.  “I know that and I agree with you,” he told Brian, “But that is not an option.  I told Mikey I would go.  But I could be available any other night you pick.”

 

“And what if I insist that it be the same night as Mikey’s big bash,” Brian wanted to know.

 

“Then you’ll have to get somebody else.  I just won’t be able to attend,” Justin told him.  “Unless, of course, you can hold off your party till I, or we, get back from Ben’s celebration.  I sure would like to attend both parties but I have to go to Ben’s”

 

“I guess the honeymoon is over,” Brian groused.

 

“What honeymoon?” Justin laughed as he asked.

 

It was a while before the subject was reintroduced and it was Brian who returned to the sore subject.  “Who all from our gang is invited to this shindig?” he asked the kid.

 

“As far as I know it would just be Mikey and Ben, you and me, and Hunter and Malcolm,” Justin answered, “There was some kind of limit on how many people each of the honorees could ask, so we should feel honored that they asked us.”

 

“Well I don’t feel all that honored,” Brian retorted, “And they better sit you between Mikey and Hunter because I don’t think Hunter will know any more about the right fork than Mikey.”

 

“But Malcolm will, Honey,” Justin reminded him, “Malcolm comes from the cream of Cincinnati society, so Hunter won’t need me.  I figure Mikey wanted me seated between you and him.”

 

“I know one fork from another, Twink,” Brian retorted, “And I’m good with spoons too.”

 

“I know that,” Justin laughed, “You always pick the right fork.  But Mikey knows I always want to sit next to you.  It would be awful not sitting next to you.”

 

“Then why aren’t you ordering me to go?” Brian wanted to know.

 

“Because I never order you to do anything, Brian Kinney,” Justin defended himself, “You are certainly old enough to make your own decisions.  And whatever you decide to do will be the best thing.  You have to decide for yourself  what to do.”

 

“It’s like I’m at the fork of a road then,” Brian mused.

 

“Cut it out, Bri,” Justin requested, “I’m tired of this subject.  Let’s just sit here a while.”

 

Brian agreed that might be a neat course of action but destiny intervened in the form of a visitor.  There came a knock to the door and Brian invited Michael to enter without rising from his position on the floor.

 

“Ben said I should stop by and issue the invitation to his dinner to both of you,” Michael began. “I already mentioned it to Justin,” he told Brian “And I asked him to tell you about it, but Ben said I should ask you both.  You know I’m not good with this social shit.  I want Justin to sit next to me so I use the right fork, Big Guy, but you can sit on the other side of him.  I bet you wouldn’t come otherwise.  I know how you hate these social occasions.”

 

“I guess I could tolerate sitting next to the kid,” Brian laughed, “I sit next to him a lot.  But how could you think I wouldn’t come otherwise?  Do you think I’d miss seeing Ben get honored?  And it’s your night of triumph too, Mikey.  Do you think I’d miss that?  What kind of friend do you think I am?”

 

“Well you’ve always been a pretty good friend,” Mikey admitted, “But not always too dependable.  You’re more dependable since you’ve got the Boy Wonder here.”

 

“I have to admit that I’m glad the Boy Wonder is here, Mikey,” Brian responded, “But I sure don’t need his help with this.  I can’t believe you would think I wouldn’t want to be with you and Ben on this great occasion.  Justin and I were just talking about how much fun we plan to have that night.”

 

“Probably after the dinner at CMU,” Mikey laughed.

 

“Geez, Mikey,” Brian wondered, “When did you become Michael Novotny, the big cynic?  You can tell Ben ‘Congratulations’ from us and we’ll be there next Wednesday.  We’re looking forward to it.”

 

“Except that the dinner is on Thursday,” Justin interjected.

 

“I guess I’m so eager to go that I wanted to get there a day early,” Brian explained.

 

“I love you guys,” Michael told them, “But, you know, sometimes you give me a headache.  I better get out of here.  I’ll see you before the party.”

 

After Michael left, Justin just sat there kind of staring at Brian.

 

“Well?” Brian asked him.

 

“I love you, Brian Kinney,” Justin smiled at him, “But sometimes you give me a headache.”

 

“Rest you achy head right here on my shoulder,” Brian prompted him,  “That will make it feel better.  You knew all along I’d take the right fork in the road.  I’m good with forks.”

 

Justin was a happy kid.  It wasn’t long before he felt himself falling asleep leaning close against Brian.  He liked to do that and he was pretty sure Brian liked it too.  Before he closed his eyes though he grabbed Brian’s hand.  “The honeymoon is not over, Bri,” he told him, “Not by a long shot.”  That made Brian happy too.


	88. Chapter 88 - Dreaming Out Loud

It was early on a lazy Friday evening and with no special plans, the guys were seated in front of the fake flames.  They had been there almost an hour without anything being said.  That’s how it was some nights.  Brian liked  it that way.  He enjoyed just dreaming about how happy he was while holding on for dear life to the kid who had made it all possible. 

Justin liked it too, but he was the one who usually initiated conversation.  Brian often thought that Justin had a brain like a computer and that he could hear the hum when it was turned on.  That didn’t seem possible but Brian knew there was a special connection between himself and the twink, and he thought he could tell when Justin was wondering about something.  Maybe he could.  He was right that evening.  He figured Justin was about to break the silence.  That was OK with Brian too.  As long as he was holding on for dear life to the kid who made his life so happy.

 

“Brian,” Justin announced, “Do you miss the wild and crazy times we used to have?”

 

“Don’t we still have wild and crazy times?” Brian asked him.  “Aren’t we having a wild and crazy time right now?”

 

“I can see it’s gonna be hard to talk to you tonight,” Justin issued a mild protest, “You must be in one of your strong and silent moods.  You know what I’m talking about.  We haven’t been to Babylon for weeks.”

 

“What’s at Babylon?” Brian wanted to know.

 

“OK,” Justin complained, “You’re thinking of something else and you’re too busy to talk to me so just go ahead and think about whatever it is you’re thinking about.  I’ll just sit here and do nothing.”

 

“You will not,” Brian complained back.  “You never do nothing.  You’re resting your head on my shoulder and you’re holding my hand and you’re making me happy, and that’s not nothing.”

 

Justin smiled contentedly.  “You’re just saying that because you want to think about something else and not me,” he surmised, “But I’m going to pretend that you mean it because that makes me feel good.”

 

“You know I mean it, you little twink,” Brian squeezed the kid even closer to himself.  “But we both know that’s not going to shut you up so go ahead and talk.  Not that you wouldn’t anyhow.”

 

No,” Justin concluded, “I’m not going to talk at all.  You just go ahead and think about whatever you were thinking about.  I won’t bother you.”

 

Brian had to grin at that remark.  “Baby, you always bother me.  And you know you bother me.  And you enjoy bothering me,” he admitted.  “But it’s the kind of bother I like and I don’t want you to quit.  I don’t even want you to quit talking so if you want to talk, talk.”

 

“You’re sure I won’t interrupt what you were thinking about?”  Justin continued.

 

“Sunshine,” Brian gritted his teeth ever so slightly, “I was thinking about you.  That’s what I was thinking about if that’s what you want to know.  And right now maybe I just might be glad for the interruption because of what I just might be thinking about you right now.”

 

“Sometimes you do say the most romantic things, Bri,” Justin cajoled, “But I was just wondering if you missed the old days.  We’ve quit doing a lot of things we used to do a lot of, and I just wondered if you were missing them.  You know I want you to be happy.”

 

“Like what would I be missing?” Brian wanted to know.

 

“Well, like dancing at Babylon, for one thing,” Justin suggested.

 

“Justin Baby, I don’t think you were ever really comfortable with the Babylon scene at all.  I think you went there just to please me, or maybe just to keep an eye on me.  And we still dance at Babylon,” Brian replied, “Maybe not as often as we used to, but we still do.  And we dance here too.  So what would I have to complain about?”

 

“Well you only have me to dance with here,” Justin reminded him.  “You used to dance with a whole lot of guys at Babylon.”

 

“But I don’t now,” Brian insisted.  “The last couple of times we were at Babylon you were the only one I danced with.  
  


“You danced with Michael a couple of times,” Justin corrected him.

 

“Michael doesn’t count,” Brian laughed, “And you know it.  You don’t mind me dancing with Michael.  You don’t even mind if I sometimes kiss Michael goodnight, and neither does Ben.  You guys know how it is with me and Mikey.  Right?”

 

“Of course I’m not jealous of Michael,” Justin maintained, “At least not any more jealous of Michael than of any other guy you might be with.  I think Michael is safe enough and I’m not complaining.  You’re still the hottest guy in Pittsburgh though, Bri, and sometimes I worry about all the things you’ve given up for me.  I don’t want you to be missing them.”

 

“Do I act like I’m missing them?” Brian asked him.

 

“No,” Justin admitted, “But you could be missing them anyhow without saying anything.  Sometimes you just sit so quietly and I wonder if you’re not wishing for some of the old stuff,”

 

“You know,” Brian mused, “This has to be one of our weirder conversations and we have had some weird conversations.  Am I missing something?”

 

“Of course not,” Justin responded, “I don’t know what you mean.”

 

“You know, Twink,” Brian came back, “I’m beginning to think I know what I mean and I want you to do me a favor.  Can you promise me you won’t say another word for fifteen minutes?  OK?”

 

“Of course I can keep quiet for fifteen minutes,” Justin responded, ”If my talking bothers you so much.”

 

“Don’t get in a snit, Baby,” Brian smiled at him.  “I love you but I know how your mind works too.  Now just shut up for that fifteen minutes.

 

Brian pulled just a little bit away from Justin, drew out his cell phone and dialed a familiar number.  “Mikey,” he said when he got through, “Justin has a headache and he just went out to the drug store to get something for it.  What time did he arrange for us to meet you at Babylon tonight?”  “Ten o’clock.”  “I don’t think he’s going to be over the headache by then so maybe we ought to postpone that, OK?”  Then he hung up the phone.  “So?” he asked Justin.

 

“Mmmmm,” Justin answered.

 

“What do you mean ‘Mmmmm’?” Brian wanted to know.

 

“My fifteen minutes aren’t up yet,” Justin mumbled through a closed mouth.

 

“You goofy little twink,” Brian laughed, moving over to kiss the kid, “I wish you would quit trying so damn hard to make me happy.  You make me happy without trying.”

 

“Well I just thought…,” Justin began to explain before he was interrupted.

 

“You can call Mikey back in a minute and see when we can reschedule Babylon,” Brian told him, “I want to spend tonight with you and only you.  Now can I get back to my dreaming about you.  You might just try doing some dreaming, Baby.  That can be a lot of fun too.”

 

“I do a lot of dreaming already, Bri,” Justin defended himself, “I just do some of my dreaming out loud.” 


	89. Chapter 89 - Who's a Monogam

Brian and Justin were seated in a booth at the diner, having breakfast.  They were waiting for Michael so that he and  Justin could clear up a few details about _Rage_.

 

“Geez, Brian,” Justin said as he looked over Brian’s shoulder toward the door.  It was not Michael who entered but somebody whom Justin had never seen before but who caught his attention nonetheless.  “Wait till you see this beautiful guy who just came in.  He looks like a Greek god.”

 

“Still looking, are you?” Brian wondered.

 

“Cut it out, Bri,” Justin told him.  “I’ve got eyes so I’m still looking.  I’m not looking **for** anybody, except Michael and he doesn’t count, but I can’t help seeing what walks in front of me.  Take a look yourself.  You’ll see what I mean.  Maybe you even know him but I never saw him before.  I would have remembered.”

 

Brian glanced over nonchalantly.  “Yeah, he’s good looking all right,” Brian admitted.  “Must be new in town.  I never saw him before either.”  
  
”Bet in the old days he wouldn’t be new in town very long,” Justin cajoled.

 

“You mean back in the days when Brian Kinney was young and free,” Brian smiled at him.  “I guess not, but those days are gone forever.”  It might have been that Brian’s statement brought bit of a frown to Justin’s face.

 

Michael arrived just then and to the surprise of our guys, he exchanged a few words with the handsome stranger before sliding himself into the booth next to Brian.  “See that hottie over there?” he asked Brian, “Name’s Chuck. He’s new in town.  I met him here yesterday.  Bet he wouldn’t be new in town very long in the old days, eh, Brian?”

 

“Shut up Mikey,” Brian warned him, “There is a twink present.  He never even noticed that guy because he only has eyes for me and that’s the way it should be.  So don’t call his attention to anybody else.”

 

“You guys are really something special,” Mikey told them, “You never even noticed Chuck.  Much as I love Ben, I noticed Chuck right away when I saw him yesterday.  You guys are the perfect monogamists.” 

 

At this point, Chuck got up and moved over to the table where our three guys were seated, and slipped himself into the booth next to Justin.  “I’m Chuck,” he told them what they already knew, “How about introducing me to these guys, Mike,” he requested.  “I’m new in town and I’d like to get to know some of the natives.”

 

Michael obliged and the four of them exchanged small talk for a while and ate together.  Mikey, Justin, and even Debbie who was serving their table, all noticed that Chuck’s eyes seemed to stay focused on Brian. Brian did not act like he noticed.   Mikey gave Justin a warning glance.

 

On the way out, Debbie grabbed Justin’s arm and told him, “Watch out for that Chuck guy.  He’s something else and he could be trouble.”  That was not what Justin wanted to hear.

 

Justin was not usually the jealous type, at least he didn’t think of himself as the jealous type, but he spent some of that day thinking about what had happened.  It was an anxious day for Justin.  It was a busy day too.  Busy enough that Justin and Brian had planned to eat dinner separately and get home late.

 

Justin was surprised when he entered the loft to find Brian already seated on the floor and the flames of the fireplace already flitting to and fro in the otherwise darkened space.  Justin plopped himself onto the floor next to Brian and Brian circled him with his arm.  Nothing was said though for quite a while.  That did not mean, however, that there was nothing to be said.

 

“Bri,” Justin began, “About this morning…”  
  
”Yeah,” Brian interrupted, “I was glad you and Mikey got that _Rage_ business taken care of so quickly.  Some times it takes you guys forever.”

 

“Come on, Honey,” Justin pleaded, “You know I’m talking about Chuck.  I’m sorry I made such a fuss about him when he came in.  You know you’re the only guy in the world I really care about.’

 

“That’s what you’ve said,” Brian agreed.

 

“Damn it, Bri,” Justin insisted, “You know I love you and I always will.  There could never be anybody else for me and you know that too.  I know you know it.  I am completely monogamous.”

 

“Like Mikey said, Baby,” Brian reminded him, “We’re the perfect monogamists.”

 

“But I always was,” Justin reminded him back, “And you weren’t.  Bri, I don’t want you to feel trapped.  If you ever feel the need to ….”

 

“Go back to tricking?” Brian wondered, “Do you really think that I ….”

 

“No,” Justin compounded the interruptions, “But I want so bad for you to be happy.  And you seemed pretty happy when I met you, and you weren’t monogamous then.”

 

Brian squeezed the kid.  “Sometimes I think you know everything about me, Baby,” he told him, “And sometimes I think you don’t know anything about me.  So let me clue you in.  I was never happy before I met you and I was always monogamous too.  It’s just that, until I met you, I never met the monogam that I wanted to be a monogamist with.”

 

“I’m a monogam?” Justin exclaimed, breaking into a laugh.  “There is no such word, Mr. Kinney.”

 

Brian ran his hand through the twink’s hair.  “There aren’t any words to describe you, Kiddo,” Brian told him, “So I have to make them up.”

 

“Well I guess that makes you a monogam too,” Justin concluded, “And we’re just two monogams who found each other.”

 

“Guess so,” Brian agreed.

 

“Bri,” Justin went on, ”I don’t know if you noticed it or not but Chuck was coming on to you this morning.”

 

“I may be a monogam, Baby,” Brian smiled at him, “But I’m not stupid.  Yeah, I knew he was checking me out.  He didn’t know we were together.”

 

“Well I hope he finds out real soon,” Justin said, “I don’t like the idea of him chasing you around no matter how monogamous you are.”  
  
”He knows, Kiddo,” Brian told him, “I’m not sure how he got his information but he called me this afternoon and we talked for a while.”

 

“He called you this afternoon,” Justin moaned.  “I knew he was after you.  Are you going to tell me what the call was about?”

 

“Do I keep secrets from you?” Brian answered, “He wanted to meet me after work.  You don’t need to ask.  I told him about you and I told him I wasn’t interested.”

 

“And?” Justin asked.

 

“And he said he thought you were a pretty nice guy and that we made a nice couple,” Brian informed him.

 

“So we’re rid of Chuck,” Justin sounded relieved.

 

“Well, maybe not,” Brian responded, “He did ask if we could all get together sometime soon.  He’s still new in town and doesn’t know many people and he needs friends.”

 

“And?”  Justin repeated.

 

“And I told him that would be up to you,” Brian answered, “That if you were comfortable with him, it would be OK with me.  So it’s up to you, Baby.  Is Chuck a new friend of ours or not?  He seemed OK to me and I don’t think he will be a problem now that he knows how things are.  But it’s still up to you.  Think it over.”

 

Justin did think it over for a while before he told Brian that Chuck might be an interesting addition to their crowd.  Brian seemed pleased.

 

“I’m glad you decided that way, Kiddo,” He told Justin, “And mostly because it means that you trust me, not that I ever doubted.”  
  
”I always trusted you Brian,” Justin told him as he twined his arms around Brian’s neck, “You know I always trusted you.  Even before you told me you’re a monogam.”

 

And Brian was a very happy monogam indeed.


	90. Chapter 90 - Worth Waiting For

The new guy in town was named Chuck.  He was maximally good looking and he had made a pass at Brian when they first met.  He seemed like a nice enough guy to Justin, and he backed off any pursuit of Brian after he found out what the situation was.  Brian and Justin had seen Chuck a few times, and while Justin liked Chuck all right, he still harbored some reservations about him.  Just a little bit too good looking for Justin’s taste.  Justin had invited Chuck to the loft to have dinner and had prepared a splendiferous meal.  He actually wondered to himself if he had done that to show Chuck what having Brian Kinney entailed.  He smiled to himself as he decided that he would never do anything like that.  Neither Brian nor Chuck had arrived yet but both were due.  It did not bolster Justin’s confidence when they arrived together. 

“Met Chuck at the door,” Brian explained as they took off their coats.

 

“What door?” Justin wanted to know.

 

“See what I have to put up with?” Brian pointed out to Chuck, “I don’t have an easy life.”

 

“Looks good to me,” Chuck told him.  “Thanks for inviting me over, Justin,” he continued.  “Looks like you did most of the work for this evening.”

 

“Oh, Brian pulls his weight around here,” Justin jokingly replied, “It’s just that he’s so skinny.”

 

“Maybe from your cooking?” Brian volunteered.

 

They all enjoyed the meal and they talked about a lot of things.  Justin liked Chuck despite his reservations and thought that Brian did too.  After dinner, the conversation turned a bit more serious.

 

“I’m really glad I got to know you two,” Chuck told them.  “I know it might have been a rocky start but I’m really glad we can be friends.  I’ve never seen you at Babylon but I guess you’re pretty well known over there.  A couple of guys have told me that I’m going to be the new Brian Kinney.  I don’t see anything wrong with the old Brian Kinney.”

 

“He’s retired,” Justin cut in.

 

“Cut off in his prime,” Brian added, “But the position is vacant and I’ll bet you could have it if you wanted it.”

 

“That’s what this one guy especially keeps telling me,” Chuck responded.

 

“Ted Schmitt?” Brian asked.

 

“I think that’s his name,” Chuck thought.  “So do I want the job of being the next Brian Kinney, though?  Just what does it entail?  From what I gather, there were a lot of wild oats involved in being Brian Kinney, at least according to Ted.”

 

“I guess it depends on what you want,” Brian told him, “Ted can give you the details.”

 

“I don’t mind a little tricking,” Chuck admitted, “Or even a lot of tricking, I guess.  But I think what I really want is a lot like what you guys have here.  Ted can tell me the other part, but I’d like to hear from you about how you got from there to here.  You must have known what you really wanted, Brian?”

 

“Nope,” Brian admitted.  “I was the tricking king of Liberty Avenue.  That’s what I thought I wanted and I thought it made me happy.  You’re already a step ahead of me if you know that’s not what you really want.”

 

“Well what happened to change your mind?” Chuck asked, “If  I’m not getting too personal.”

 

“I came out of Babylon one night,” Brian recounted, “I thought I had had it for the evening and I saw this dopey looking kid under the street lamp across the street.  I thought ‘What the hell?  That looks like an evening’s diversion.’”

 

“It was Justin?” Chick guessed correctly.

 

“It sounds like it was me but this is the first time I ever heard that version, I think,” Justin chimed in.  “I saw this beautiful guy come out of Babylon and I said to myself  ‘That’s him.  He’s mine for tonight and he’s mine forever.’  Brian didn’t have a chance from that moment on.”

 

“And that’s the first time I ever heard that version,” Brian allowed, “Maybe it’s a good thing you came, Chuck.”

 

“Hey, guys,” Chuck defended himself, “I don’t want to get in the middle of anything here.  Maybe I’ve heard enough.”

 

“No, it’s OK, Chuck.  There isn’t a lot more to the story,” Brian spoke up.  “That dopey little kid just chased me until I got winded and here we are.”

 

“Actually,” Justin revised, “I just, on several occasions, demonstrated the emptiness and futility of his life without me.  Finally I got it through his thick skull, and here we are.”

 

“You guys are making me uncomfortable,” Chuck protested, “I don’t want to be the cause of some big fight between you after I leave.”

 

“What would ever make you think that?” Justin asked as he moved over, plopped himself onto Brian’s lap, and kissed his guy passionately.  “There’s no chance of that.”

 

“No chance of that at all,” Brian agreed when he came up for air.

 

Chuck had to laugh.  “You know your pal, Mike.” he told them, “When I told him I was having dinner over here tonight, Mike told me I’d be dizzy when I left.  I thought he was talking about Justin’s cooking but now I think I know what he meant.”

 

“If he were talking about my cooking, then you might see a fight,” Justin allowed, “I sometimes fight with Mikey but I never fight with Brian.”

 

“He would though,” Brian told Chuck, “If I’d let him.’

 

“Probably,” Justin agreed, “But Brian is the boss around here and he won’t let me.”

 

“Now just supposing I want something like you guys have,” Chuck asked, while acting like he might be having second thoughts, “What do I do?”

 

“Nothing, really,” Justin told him, “You just wait.  He’ll be worth waiting for.  When he comes along you’ll both know.”

 

“Sooner or later,” Brian added.

 

Chuck left shortly thereafter and called Mikey on his cell phone to thank him for the warning, which hadn’t really helped very much. 

 .

The guys lit the fireplace.  They  just sat there for a good while, smiling at each other.

 

“Brian,” Justin asked, “Was it just dumb luck that we met under that lamp post?  I was not dopey looking, by the way.  Where would we be if we hadn’t met that night?”

 

“I don’t know,” Brian replied, “Maybe I would still be tricking down at Babylon.  I don’t know.”

 

“There wouldn’t have been anybody else, would there?” Justin probed.

 

“Baby, I was with thousands of guys before you.  I had chances,” Brian told him, “I didn’t want any of them.  I didn’t want anybody.  I think maybe I really was waiting for you.”

 

“That is so romantic, Bri,” Justin gushed, “No wonder I love you as much as I do.  It couldn’t have been just luck that we met.  Something made me come down to Liberty Avenue that night.  It was the first time I ever had the nerve to do that.  Something made me stand under that lamp post.”

 

“You think?” Brian asked.

 

“Yeah,” Justin told him, “I was tired of waiting for you.


	91. Chapter 91 - News of the Day

It had been a few nights since the guys had a free evening to sit together in front of their fake fireplace and they were looking forward to it.  Oh, they communicated with each other pretty well all the time, but there was something special about their fireside chats and they both knew it.  They just sat there together for a while, making up for lost time. They could communicate without talking – and sometimes that was safer. 

“I stopped at the diner today,” Justin finally told Brian.  “Know who I saw?”

 

“Debbie, I guess,” Brian responded, “Wasn’t that who you were going to stop by to see?”

 

“OK,” Justin decided, “If you’re gonna be that way, I’m not gonna tell you.”  
  
”Yes, you are,” Brian replied with some certainty, mussing up the twink’s blond locks.

 

“Ted and Chuck were having lunch together,” Justin revealed.

 

“Are you telling me that Chuck is the new Brian Kinney on Liberty Avenue and he’s dating Ted Schmitt?” Brian reacted, “That could make all of us Brian Kinneys look bad.”

 

“You’re funny, Bri,” Justin told him.  “You know very well that Chuck is a stock broker and Ted is an accountant.  I’ll bet they have a lot to talk about.  I think that Chuck is doing pretty well filling in for you though, from what I hear.  Maybe they’ll forget you at Babylon in time.  But you don’t need to worry about that cause you have me.”

 

“Yeah,” Brian sighed, “Don’t they say bad luck comes in bunches?”

 

“I never heard anybody say that,” Justin replied.

 

“Well they should,” Brian insisted.

 

“Cut it out, Brian,” Justin complained, “I’m just trying to tell you the news and you’re picking on me.  Don’t you want to know what’s going on around town?”

 

“Yeah, I guess so,” Brian admitted, “How is Chuck doing at Babylon?”

 

“Well, Emmett said Chuck is doing a lot of tricking and he treats all the tricks real nice.  They all fall head over heels for him,” Justin related.

 

“Well that won’t work,” Brian confided, “Maybe I better call Chuck and clue him in on a few things.”

 

“Brian,” Justin reasoned, “There is a difference.  Chuck is trying to find somebody to make a life with.  You were just interested in sex so you didn’t need to have all the tricks fall in love with you.  You didn’t even want them to like you.  You could treat them rotten and get away with it.  That way none of them could catch you.”

 

“I don’t recall that I treated you all that well either,” Brian declared, “But that didn’t get rid of you.”

 

“I am a special case, Kinney,” Justin responded.  “I’m not like other people.”

 

Brian had to laugh.  “I can’t deny that you’re not like other people,” he told the twink. “And I can’t deny you’re a case.”  Then he pulled the kid closer, “And I can’t deny you’re special either.”

 

“Brian, you’re getting mushy,” Justin told him.

 

“I thought you liked it when I get mushy,” Brian sounded surprised.

 

“I didn’t say I didn’t like it,” Justin came back  “I just said you’re getting mushy.  Actually I like it a lot.”

 

“OK,” Brian decided, “Back to the news of the day.”

 

“Damn, I guess I ruined it just when you were getting mushy,” Justin complained about himself, “I talk too much.”

 

“Never, Baby,” Brian assured him. “You never talk too much.”

 

“Oh well, just a lost opportunity,” Justin complained.  “Anyhow, Emmett thinks there might be something developing between Chuck and Blake.  Remember Blake?”

 

“Yeah,” Brian allowed.  “That wouldn’t be so bad.  Blake turned out pretty well after a bad start.  Is Ted OK with that?”  
  
”Emm thinks so,” Justin told, “Emm thinks Ted will feel worse about losing Chuck than he would about losing Blake.”

 

“Actually, Ted should be used to losing guys,” Brian thought out loud, “But he never had most of the guys he’s lost.”

 

“Ted will find somebody,” Justin maintained.

 

”Maybe not, Sunshine,” Brian replied, “I don’t think Ted wants anybody who would want him.  That’s too bad.  So what else is new at Babylon?”

 

“I think that’s about it,” Justin concluded, “Chuck’s following in your footsteps pretty well, and that’s about it.”

 

“Are my footsteps the only ones he following in?” Brian wanted to know.

 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Bri,” Justin replied tentatively.

 

“I think you do,” Brian smiled at him.  “See, I was talking to Mikey on the phone today for a long time and he told me …”

 

“Shit, Brian,” Justin gave up, “I would have told you but you were picking on me and I didn’t want to hand you any more ammunition.  Why didn’t you tell me you knew?  You just wanted to trap me.  You’re just looking for a reason to get mad at me.  You’re a mean man, Brian Kinney.”

 

“What am I going to pick on you about?  It’s not your fault they had this year’s King of Babylon contest and Chuck won.  I think it’s great.” Brian responded.  “Our friend Chuck is following in both of our footsteps.  I think that’s neat.”

 

“You do not think it’s neat at all, Brian,” Justin protested, “And you’re picking on me right now.  You’re still mad because I won the damn King of Babylon contest even after I’ve apologized like a hundred times.  I’m just going to sit here and pout.  Keep your arm around me though because this loft is cold, OK?”

 

“Wouldn’t want you to get a chill,” Brian agreed.

It took a little while before Justin’s head fell onto Brian’s shoulder.  That made the both of them happier.

 

“It’s OK if you want to be mad, Bri,” Justin restarted the conversation.  “I should have told you about the contest.  So if you want to get mad, go ahead and get mad.  I guess I deserve it.”

 

“I wasn’t thinking about getting mad, Baby,” Brian informed him, “I was thinking about getting mushy.”

 

“What goes for mad also goes for mushy,” Justin smiled up at him, “So if you want to get mushy, go ahead and get mushy.”

 

“And I guess you deserve that too,” Brian laughed at him.

 

“Guess so,” Justin told him.


	92. Chapter 92 - A Different Viewpoint

The guys had just got themselves into position in front of the fireplace.  They had eaten dinner in the loft with just some small talk between them.  Justin had been late coming home and Brian surmised the reason but Justin had not broached the subject. 

“I got your message about having to stop at Ben and Mikey’s on your way home,” Brian began the conversation.  “Something about _Rage_ I guess.  Hollywood want to make a movie?”

 

“Not much chance of that,” Justin laughed.  “I don’t think Hollywood is ready for a gay super-hero yet.  But sometimes you have some good ideas, Kinney.  Actually I was just doing a favor for Hunter.”

 

“Lemme guess,” Brian laughed back at him.  “Hunter wanted to do something that he thought Ben and Mike wouldn’t like so he called on you to do your specialty act – getting people to do what they don’t want to do.”

 

“Brian, you’re always saying that and it’s not true,” Justin complained.  “I don’t try to get people to do what they don’t want to do.  Sometimes though, I do present them with a different viewpoint and they change their minds.”

 

“So were you presenting Ben and Mikey with a different viewpoint and did they change their minds?” Brian wanted to know.

 

“Yeah,” Justin had to smile at Brian,  “I did and they did.”

 

“And I know you’re going to tell Brian all about it,” Brian responded, “But only when you’re good and ready, so I’m not going to give you the pleasure of acting like I want to know.”

 

“Brian Kinney,” Justin retorted, “Are you trying to start an argument?  You know very well I have no secrets from you.  Of course I’m going to tell you all about it.  I would tell you anyway but I’m sure Michael would tell you if I didn’t.”

 

“You’re so right, Sunshine,” Brian jibed, “Mikey really doesn’t have any secrets he won’t tell me.  He might have even called me and told me the whole story after you left over there and before you got back here.”

 

“He didn’t though,” Justin murmured with some uncertainty, “Did he?”

 

“No but the telephone might ring before you decide to tell me,” Brian warned Justin, “And then I’ll get the story without your spin on it.”

 

“There’s this big football game at Ohio State, Honey.  A week from Saturday,” Justin gave up, “Abe is playing first-team on defense, and it is also his birthday.  His parents and his sister, Penelope, and his girl friend, Martha, are coming up from Cincinnati for the game and a birthday party afterwards.  Malcolm wants to go too, but he wants Hunter to go with him.  Hunter really wants to go and he thought it would be better if I were along when he broke the news to Ben and Mike.”

 

“And Ben and Mikey said OK?” Brian sounded surprised.  “I guess they figured they had no other choice with you there to present another viewpoint.”  
  
”Wrong as usual, Sweetheart,” Justin grinned.  “Actually they said ‘No’ at first and they didn’t change their mind until after I had presented a different viewpoint.”

 

“You are really something,” Brian mused at him.

“I’m glad you think so,” Justin cajoled, “That’s really romantic.”

 

“I’m not sure I meant it to be romantic,” Brian said.

 

“Well I guess I have a different viewpoint,” Justin answered as he ran his hand through Brian’s hair, ending the conversation for a while.

 

“You know, Brian,” Justin eventually broke the silence.  “I may as well tell you the whole story even if it does sound maybe a little bit like bragging.  Abelard wanted you and me to go to the game too, but I saved you from that.  I said I thought we were busy that weekend so you’re off the hook.”

 

“Well you know me and Abe got to be pretty good friends that weekend he was in Pittsburgh,” Brian replied, but he was interrupted before he could continue.

 

“Brian,” Justin stared at him.  “Something’s up.  I can see it in your face.  You were talking about secrets just then.  Are you keeping something from me?  After accusing me of not telling you everything.”

 

“Not at all, Baby,” Brian assured him, “Just waiting for my turn to talk.  Actually you told Malcolm a few days ago that we couldn’t go to Columbus, I think.  Abe called me yesterday to see if he couldn’t change our minds.  He presented a different viewpoint, I guess.  He said I could bring that blond cousin of mine who is staying with me along, so I guess I told him we’d try to make it.”

 

“Brian,” Justin protested, “You conned Abe in Pittsburgh but you won’t be able to do that all weekend.  And I don’t want him fawning all over you either.”  Justin would probably have rephrased that last remark if he had thought more about it, but it was too late.

 

“Are you jealous?” Brian laughed at the twink.  “Abe’s straight and his girl friend is going to be there and you’re jealous?”

 

“I am not jealous, Brian,” Justin maintained, “And I am not your cousin either.  What if Abe finds out.”

 

“Abe’s a big boy, Honey,” Brian told him.  “Everybody there but Abe will know that we’re not cousins, and maybe he’ll figure it out too.  That’ll be OK.”

 

Justin held out his hand.  “See this ring I’m wearing, the one you gave me last Christmas.  Well you have a matching one,” Justin threatened, “And I’m going to make sure Abelard notices them.  Then he’s sure to figure it out and you’ll have the problem of explaining it all to him.  I don’t think I’ll be much help.”

 

Brian smiled at Justin and took both of Justin’s hands into his.  That gesture touched Justin even though he thought Brian was holding his hands a little tightly.  “Oh,” Brian remarked off-handedly, “Those family rings that granddad gave to all the cousins.”

 

“Shit, Brian,” Justin exclaimed, “You’re just holding my hands so I don’t slug you.  And I thought it was because you wanted to.”

 

“I did want to,” Brian told him.  “I always want to.  From a different viewpoint though, I guess I don’t want to get slugged either.”

 

Both of the guys dissolved into uncontrollable laughter.  Justin threw his arms around Brian’s neck and Brian pulled the kid as close to him as he could.  It was a while before the conversation continued.

 

“Baby, we don’t have to go to Columbus if you don’t want to,” Brian told him.  “I thought it would be a good chance for us to meet the Shellcoffs.  You don’t know Malcolm’s family and it’s time you did.  We can also look after Malcolm and Hunter.  Mikey and Ben would like that.  We just need to let Malcolm know in the next few days if we’re going, but that’s your call.”

 

“We’ll go,” Justin decided without hesitation.  “You want to go so we’re going.”

 

It was a little later when an idea popped into Justin’s head.  “Bri, did Mikey and Ben know we were going when they gave Hunter permission to go?”

 

“Do I have to answer that?” Brian asked.

 

“No,” Justin told him.

 

A little later another question popped into Justin’s head.  “Brian, Mikey and Ben could not have known we were going to Columbus if it was up to me.  Unless you knew I’d go.  Did you know you could get me to go?”  
  
”Do I have to answer that?” Brian asked.

 

“No,” Justin answered, “ But, you know, Honey, I think I’m getting a different viewpoint on some things.”

 

They were both smiling.


	93. Chapter 93 - Diversionary Tactics

The fireplace was lit.  The guys were seated in their usual position.  Justin was bursting with information and maybe a little more in the way of agenda.  .  The quiet period was dispensed with this evening. 

“Malcolm and Hunter are crazy about Chuck,” Justin began the conversation.

 

“Are they going to fight over him or divide him in two or will it be a threesome?” Brian wanted to know.

 

“Brian,” Justin complained, “Sometimes I wonder why I tell you anything at all, but if I didn’t, I guess you’d be claiming that I keep secrets from you.  I can’t win.”

 

“Poor Baby,” Brian attempted half-heartedly to console him.

 

“Thanks a lot, Bri,” Justin responded, “But as usual you misunderstand me.  Malcolm and Hunter are putting on a play and ….”  
  
”No,” Brian interrupted.

 

“What are you talking about, Brian?” Justin asked.

 

“I’m not available for any acting jobs.  Not now.  Not ever,” Brian told him, “And I’d really rather you weren’t in it either.  But that’s up to you.  It’s just that I’d rather have you performing here in the loft than up on some stage.”

 

“You just may see a performance right here in the loft if you don’t let me finish,” Justin insisted, “Nobody wants you in the play.  Everything does not have to be about you, you know.  And they don’t need me either, so can I finish telling you what I started to tell you?”

 

“What do you mean nobody wants me in the play?” Brian seemed taken aback.

 

Justin had to laugh, “Geez, Kinney,” he told Brian, “You are so funny I don’t think I could really ever get mad at you.  At least without trying very hard.”  
  
Brian laughed back.  “We both know you are a real hard trier, don’t we?” he responded, “OK Twink, get on with it.”

 

“It seems Chuck has a background in dramatics from college.  They’re doing this new play by a local author and Chuck has agreed to take the leading role,” Justin continued.

 

“OK,” Brian decided, “We’ll go to see it.  Once.  We’ll go to see it once.  Do they have dates for it yet?”

 

“Sometime next month,” Justin answered, “But I wish you’d quit answering questions I haven’t asked.  Why do you always do that?”

 

“I think maybe I do that to keep you from asking the questions you’re going to ask,” Brian told him, “I wouldn’t be surprised if there was going to be a question coming up that I don’t want to hear.”

 

“I told you, Honey,” Justin complained, “Everything is not about you.”  
  
”That’s true, Baby,” Brian smiled knowingly, “But some things are about me.  Will you promise that nothing in this long story is going to be about me?”

 

“Well, not exactly,” Justin admitted, “But I’ve got to give you the background.  Please let me finish.”

 

“I wish everybody didn’t know that you can get me to do whatever you want me to do,” Brian groused.  “Go ahead.”

 

“There’s a part in the play for a strong silent type,” Justin said, “Just two scenes and four or five lines of dialog but a lot of stage business.  It’s a tricky part.”

 

“Perfect for me, Kiddo,” Brian responded, “But like I said before, my acting career is over.”

 

“You may be the strong type, Bri,” Justin was smiling, “But if you were the silent type, I could get this story finished.”

 

“So you don’t think I’m the strong and silent type?” Brian wondered.

 

“You’re my type, Sweetheart,” Justin told him, “Exactly my type.  But it doesn’t matter if I think you’re the strong and silent type.  Actually, what matters is that Mikey thinks you’re the strong and silent type.”

 

“You’re losing me, Baby,” Brian admitted, “That’s not unusual but I am trying to figure out where you’re going with this.”

 

“Gosh, you mean you don’t get it yet,” Justin seemed surprised, “They want Mikey to play that character and he said he would, but only if you would agree to coach him some.  He says he’s not the strong and silent type but that you are.”

 

“Mikey thinks I’m the strong and silent type?” Brian mused.

 

“Actually I think Mikey thinks you’re the best stage director in the world,” Justin opined, “And having you coach him gives him a lot of confidence.  He is good on stage, Bri, but he doesn’t have a lot of confidence.  I wanted Malcolm and Hunter to talk to you about this themselves but they’re scared of you.”

 

“And brave little Justin is not afraid of the mean old fire-breathing dragon?” Brian concluded.

 

“Yeah,” Justin told him, “I’m scared of you too, but I’m used to you by now and they’re not.  I know the mean old dragon has a heart of gold.  And I’m in love with the mean old fire-breathing dragon too.”

 

“Cut it out, Twink,” Brian laughed.  “Enough is enough.  OK, I’ll do it.  I’ll be the stage coach for Mikey. I guess you knew that all along.  But not even you will be able to get me up on the stage again myself. Got it?”

 

“I hear you, Bri,” Justin told him.

 

“That’s not the same as getting it, Baby,” Brian protested.

 

“No it isn’t,” Justin admitted as he circled Brian’s neck with his arms in a diversionary maneuver.  It worked.

 

With that decided, Brian and Justin did get their quiet time watching the flames flickering in the fireplace.  Justin was contemplating his superior powers of persuasion, and Brian was wondering why it always made him feel so good to do what the kid wanted him to do.  Neither one wanted to bring those subjects into the conversation so they didn’t.’

 

Brian cuddled the kid as he resumed the conversation.  “You weren’t completely honest with me tonight,” he accused Justin. 

 

“I know,” Justin answered, nestling in a little closer.

 

“Why didn’t you just come out and tell me Mikey wanted me to coach him?” Brian asked.  “Wouldn’t that have been easier?”

 

“I just wanted you to know all the background before you made your decision,” Justin defended himself. “I thought that was the best way to do it from your standpoint.”  
  
”Well why then did you just agree with me that you weren’t completely honest?” Brian wanted to know.

 

“Geez, Bri,” Justin responded, “That was not when I was not being completely honest with you.”

 

“It wasn’t?” Brian looked quizzical.”  

 

“No,” Justin told him.  “I wasn’t being completely honest with you when I said everything wasn’t about you.  Everything is about you, you  know.”

 

It wasn’t that Brian did not recognize a diversionary tactic when he saw one.  It was just that he didn’t care.  Brian had had enough discussion for one night.


	94. Chapter 94 - Scaring People

“Halloween is coming,” Brian told Justin while they settled themselves in front of their fake fireplace as they so often did in the evenings. 

“I can’t believe you just said that,” Justin sounded astonished as he replied.  “You usually just sit around and do nothing about holidays until I push you into getting ready for them, and we’re almost ready for Halloween, so what’s coming next.  Why are you bringing up the subject of Halloween?  You’re scaring me, Bri.  It’s too late to change the plans.  Brian, please don’t want to change the plans.”

 

“Well isn’t Halloween all about scaring people?  Isn’t that what we’re supposed to do?  But no, I don’t want to change the plans,” Brian replied,  “Why would I want to change the plans?  We’re still going to Gus’ on Halloween night and then to the party at Woody’s later, just like we said we would.  And it’s a lot better than last year too.  I don’t have to go as SpongeBob SquarePants.  I got to pick my own costume this year.”

 

“Well that’s because you learn from experience and don’t repeat your mistakes, so you didn’t let Gus pick your costume this year like you did last year,” Justin laughed, “And you are smart too, Bri.  Telling him you wanted to surprise him was a stroke of genius so he wasn’t disappointed at all about not deciding for you like he did last Halloween.  But why you decided to go as a prison inmate still escapes me.”

 

“Preparing for my future life, I guess,” Brian conjectured.  “Actually I just liked the costume.  Baby, there is absolutely no symbolism in the fact that I’ll be toting around a ball and chain.”

 

“Well there better not be,” Justin chortled, “But what if people think there is?  Maybe I should feel insulted?  But I don’t at all, Bri.  I think you look real nice as a convict and I know you don’t ever think of me as a ball and chain.”

 

“Never, Baby,” Brian assured him with an enigmatic smile, “Nobody’s going to make that connection.  And I can’t imagine anybody I’d rather be doing Halloween with than Harry Potter.”

 

“Harry Potter was not really my idea, Brian,” Justin reminded him, “You know Gus said he hoped he’d see Harry Potter on Halloween, and I thought I’d make sure he did, just like you did with SpongeBob SquarePants last year.  So I’m just kind of filling in for you.  I’m just trying to help out.”

 

“I don’t recall you volunteering to be SpongeBob SquarePants last year to help out,” Brian said.

 

“That was entirely different, Honey,” Justin told him.  “You told Gus you would dress as the character he picked so I couldn’t fill in for you.  Nobody could take your place with Gus.”

 

“OK so you’re dressing as Harry Potter to please Gus,” Brian admitted, “But why do I have the feeling that you really kind of think of yourself as able to do magic when you want to?  Never mind, Baby, maybe I think you can do magic when you want to, too.  Sometimes I think Harry Potter doesn’t have anything on Justin Taylor.”

 

“Didn’t I already say you learn from experience?” Justin laughed.  “There’s just another example.”

 

Brian threw both arms around the kid and kissed him.  “Are you trying some of that magic now?” Brian exclaimed, “I have this irresistible urge to just hold you and kiss you and I don’t know what.  Is this some Justin Taylor magic you’re pulling?”

 

“Brian, Honey,” Justin answered him while kissing him back, “You know we magicians can’t reveal our secrets.  It’s just not ethical.”

 

“Now you’re scaring me, Baby,” Brian exclaimed.  “You’re really scaring me.”

 

“Didn’t you say that’s what Halloween is all about?” Justin asked.

 

The discussion came to a fairly long but temporary halt at this point, but an hour or so later it resumed because it wasn’t over.  “Are you going to tell me why you brought up the subject of Halloween earlier, Sweetheart?” Justin urged Brian.

 

“Why don’t you just read my mind?” Brian challenged him.

 

“Because I like to save my magic for more important things,” Justin cajoled, “Don’t you think I should save my magic for more important things?”

 

“Yes I do,” Brian agreed completely, “I really think you should save your magic for more important things.  Not that it shouldn’t be used regularly though.”

 

“I promise to use it regularly when necessary,” Justin decided, “But it isn’t all that necessary most of the time, so how about telling me what’s up?”

 

“Well, It’s just that Mikey and I were talking about scary movies we used to like to watch at Halloween, like you said you and Daphne used to always watch _Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde_ ,” Brian told him, “And before we were finished it turned out that Mikey and Ben, and Hunter and Malcolm are coming over here two nights before Halloween and we’re going to watch scary movies, if it’s all right with you.  You’re supposed to toast some marshmallows and we’re going to have a scary time for just the six of us.  I know the heat isn’t on in the fake fireplace yet but you know how to turn it on so how about it?”

 

“Scary movies are hard to rent around Halloween, Bri,” Justin warned him, “What if we can’t get the ones you want?’

 

“Don’t worry, Sunshine, me and Mikey thought about what we wanted and we arranged to borrow them from my friend Freddy who has that big collection of movies on tape.” Brian assured Justin, “That’s not a problem.  B. K. thinks of everything when he plans something.”

 

“Is B.K. going to get the marshmallows too?” Justin wondered, “Or will that be left up to poor J.T.?”

 

“There’s something the matter, Baby,” Brian decided, “You’re not happy about this deal, and I thought you’d be enthusiastic.  It can be cancelled, you know.  We’re not going to do anything you don’t want to do.”

 

“No, I don’t want it cancelled,” Justin responded, “But you know those old scary movies that you like really do scare me.  It’s OK when it’s just us two but I’m afraid I’ll look silly in front of the other guys.”

 

“Baby,” Brian assured him, “I guess I didn’t tell you all the plans.  The way I figure it, you’re going to be sitting on my lap the whole evening and I’m gonna have both my arms wrapped around you.  Any monster will have to get me before it gets you.”

 

“The idea sounds a lot better to me when I know all the details, Sweetheart,” Justin allowed, “B.K. does think of everything.  By the way, what movies did you pick?”

 

“We decided on _Bride of Frankenstein_ and _The Mummy_.  They’re both real old black and white movies from the 1930s,” Brian answered, “And they are really scary.  Those old black and white pictures were the scariest ever.  OK with you?”  

 

“Whatever you pick, Bri,” Justin said, “I’ll be fine.  I’m quite satisfied with your plans.  It’s your party.  I just have to figure out how to toast the marshmallows while I’m sitting on your lap with both your arms around me.”

 

“Well maybe I can let you loose just for a little while so that you can perform that chore,” Brian suggested.

 

“Like hell you can,” Justin objected, “That would be just the moment when the bride of Frankenstein or the mummy would show up.  You said you’d be protecting me and you’re going to be protecting me.”

 

“OK, we’ll work it out your way,” Brian conceded, “But what are we going to do if one of the others gets scared?”

 

“Don’t know,” Justin told him, “But they are not going to sit on your lap with both of your arms around them.  They’ll just have to find somebody else’s arms and somebody else’s lap.”

 

“I think it will all work out just fine,” Brian predicted, “Now you’re sure you’re OK with the whole thing?”

 

“You know, Bri, there is just one other little thing,” Justin admitted, “I might still be scared after the movies are over and the other guys are gone.  What about that?”

 

“That’s easy, Kiddo” Brian answered, “You’ll just have to stay on my lap with my arms around you till you’re not scared.”

 

“Might take a long time,” Justin warned, looking at the odd smile on Brian’s face.  “What are you thinking, Brian?” he asked.

 

“I’m just wondering whether you’re being Harry Potter again,” Brian told him, “Or just the old ball and chain.”


	95. Chapter 95- South of the Border

Justin was feeling guilty as the guys settled down in front of the fireplace one evening.  He was keeping a secret

from Brian – actually just not telling him something he did not really need to know – but still Justin felt guilty. He knew it was the only way to handle the situation but that did not make him feel any better.

 

Brian started the conversation after they got the flames flying to and fro.  “I got a phone call today I need to talk to you about, Baby,” he said.

 

“Who from?” Justin asked with some unease.

 

“Abelard,” Brian told him.

 

“Malcolm’s brother, Abelard?” Justin wondered.

 

“How many Abelards do we know?” Brian grinned, “Malcolm’s brother is the one all right.”

 

That information did not relieve Justin’s unease.  “What did he want?” he asked warily.

 

“I think maybe you have some idea about what he wanted,” Brian responded.  “Well that is exactly what he wanted.”

 

“Damn Malcolm,” Justin replied, “He’s not supposed to tell you every thing he knows.  I don’t even know how he knew.  I’ll kill him.  I’m not going, Brian, and you can’t make me.  I’m not going.”

 

“Did I say anything about making you go?” Brian wanted to know.

 

“No,” Justin admitted, “But you are going to make me go, aren’t you?”

 

“Yeah,” Brian admitted back, “But first I want you to tell me all about it, just like I know you were planning to do even before I brought up the subject.”

 

Justin had to laugh just a little at that.  But there was nothing to be gained by further obfuscation so he told Brian the whole story.  “Dean Anderson called me into his office this morning,” Justin began, “Seems some anonymous donor heard that a couple of faculty members were going to Mexico City for two weeks to see an Aztec art exhibit and visit some old ruins.  He asked the dean if the trip would benefit students and then donated enough money for three students to go along.  I got picked as one of the students but I told Dr. Anderson that I couldn’t go.  I don’t know how Malcolm found that out or why he told Abelard, or why Abelard thought he had to tell you.”

 

“I don’t know either,” Brian laughed at him, “Seeing as they knew you’d be telling me all about it yourself.  I guess they just wanted to congratulate me on having such a talented boyfriend.  I know you’re interested in Native American art.  This trip would be valuable for you.  Malcolm thought the offer was so neat he told Abe and Abe thought it was so neat that he called me.  He’s a better friend of mine than he is of yours, I guess.”

 

“Well the other two students that are going are really hot, Brian,” Justin cajoled, “Do you think you should trust me away from you for two weeks with so much temptation available?”

 

“The other two students are female, Honey,” Brian laughed at him, “If I can’t trust you with them, I’ve lost you already.”

 

“Geez,” Justin grouched, “Malcolm the Fink didn’t leave anything out, did he?”

 

“Actually, Malcolm did not intend to tattle on you, and he didn’t provide that information,” Brian informed him, “I got that from Dean Anderson.”

 

“You talked to Dean Anderson?” Justin moaned.

 

“You know I know Dean Anderson,” Brian said, “I’ve worked with him on a lot of projects.  He told me when I called to tell him you had changed your mind and would be going to Mexico.”

 

“Brian, you’re a great boyfriend and I wouldn’t ever want to trade you in,” Justin groused, “But sometimes you act like a father and that’s a pain.”

 

“Fathers can be a pain, Baby,” Brian allowed, “But I told your dad I’d sub for him when necessary, and I think it’s necessary right now.”

 

“But I don’t want to go,” Justin insisted, “I don’t want to be away from you for two weeks.”

 

“I don’t want to be away from you for two weeks either, Twink,” Brian answered, “But you do want to go.  You know it will be of use to you and you do want to go.”

 

“Well I’ll think about it,” Justin said grudgingly, but he knew the fight was over.  He was heading for Mexico.

 

They cuddled there quietly for a fairly long time, assuring each other of their affection without saying anything.

 

“An anonymous donor?” Justin broke the silence.  “You know what crossed my mind, Bri?”

 

“Forget it, Baby,” Brian assured him, “It wasn’t me.  I didn’t know anything about any Mexican trip.  Would I ever pull something like that on you?  Maybe.  But I’d be sure not to let Malcolm know.  I don’t think I’m devious enough though to get away with it yet.  But living with you is a learning experience.”

 

“If you were devious, Bri,” Justin smiled knowingly, “You’d be really dangerous.  But I still don’t know how I can get along for two weeks without you.”

 

“Remember when I told you I had to go to Los Angeles sometime soon for a couple of days to visit Amalgamated out there?” Brian asked him.  “Well, I’m going to be able to do that while you’re away so we wouldn’t have been together those days anyhow.”

 

“That helps a little,” Justin conceded.

 

“And Cynthia suggested,” Brian continued, “That I ought to stop in Mexico City for a few days on the way back to scope out any business opportunities there.”

 

“Business opportunities indeed,” Justin beamed at Brian.  “You’re just stopping in Mexico City cause I’ll be there and you don’t want to admit it.”

 

“So you’re going to Mexico City then,” Brian concluded.

 

“Cut it out, Brian,” Justin laughed, “You’re making me go and you’re coming south of the border too cause you can’t stand to be away from me.”

 

“You’re entitled to your opinion, Baby,” Brian said with a smile, “But I’ll have to stop in Mexico City whether you’re there or not.”

 

“Well just let me live in my fantasy world then,” Justin replied.

 

“Don’t I always?” Brian reminded him and that led into another contented quiet period.

 

Eventually Justin rekindled the conversation.  “It’s OK for you to boss me around every once in a while, Brian,” Justin told him, “Actually, I know you only do it when I want to do something that’s not good for me.  You always make me do what’s best for me.  I appreciate that even when I don’t act like I do.”

 

“You do pretty well for yourself, Honey,” Brian pointed out, smiling at him, “It won’t be long till I won’t have to boss you around at all.”

 

“Well I’m not sure I like that either, Bri,” Justin responded, “How will I know how much you care for me if you don’t boss me around sometimes?”

 

“You’ll know,” Brian assured him.

 

Justin rested his head on Brian’s chest.  He already knew, and he knew it was no fantasy.


	96. Chapter 96 - Work Related

“If we are going to stay in tonight, Brian, I think I’ll light the fireplace,” Justin told Brian after their simple but excellent dinner at home, “Does that sound OK to you?” 

“I don’t need to go out, Sunshine, so go ahead and light the fireplace if that’s what you want to do,” Brian answered, “but I am not sure if that sounds OK to me.  I am not guaranteeing to like what happens after that.”

“You know, Baby,” Brian continued, “You can tell me what you want to tell me, or ask me what you want to ask me, without any help from the fireplace.  You are pretty persuasive all by yourself.”

 

“So are you, Honey,” Justin replied, “But I remember that you have lit the fireplace yourself on occasion – and just for the same reason that you’re accusing me of having.”

 

“I only do it because of its nice effect on the loft,” Brian informed him.

 

“That is not exactly the way I remember it, but I definitely understand,” Justin responded, “Memory fades with age and I’ll just have to keep that in mind when we are discussing things.”

 

Brian smiled at Justin.  “It could be that maybe the fireplace does help you get what you want,” he told the little twink, “But age jokes are not likely to do the same thing, I wouldn’t think.”

 

“You’re right, Brian, just like always,” Justin agreed, smiling back at him, “I retract my last ill-considered comment.”

 

“OK, so you do want something or you did something or whatever,” Brian said, “Come on, sit down next to me over here on the floor, and Brian will fix it all up for you.”

 

Justin did as Brian suggested.  He snuggled himself up next to Brian on the floor and gazed at the darting flames.  “Let’s just sit here together for a while,” Justin proposed, “I just want to enjoy being here with you – just the two of us.  That’s what I like best in all the world.  What I have to discuss can wait.”

 

“Not for long, I bet,” Brian answered with a smile, “But sitting here with you is not a bad way to wait.”  So Brian put his arm around Justin, grabbed Justin’s hand in his, and enjoyed the wait.

 

It was longer than Brian expected until Justin got around to talking, but it didn’t seem long to Brian.  Mostly, he was able to help Justin with his problems and that made him feel good.  He was hoping this would be just such an occasion.

 

“Brian,” Justin finally began, “We have this requirement at school where we have to do an internship in the art department of some company.”

 

“I know that,” Brian told him, “You aren’t going to tell me you are going out of town for an internship are you?  I know some of the kids do that but there are companies here who train interns from your school.  We have even done that at our place, not lately but….”

 

Brian stopped in mid-sentence and started a new one.  “No,” he said.

 

“No what?” Justin replied, “I have to do an internship.”.

 

“No, you are not going to intern with us,” Brian stated in a reasonably firm voice, “That could create all kinds of problems.”

 

“But it would be worth it,” Justin argued, “It would be so worth it.  Dean Armstrong told me that Vanguard  is very fussy about whom it will take.  You guys have so few interns because your art department, your whole company for Pete’s sake, is so damned particular.  Dean Armstrong said I am the first student in three years that he would even recommend to you because you are such perfectionists, but he also told me that the students who work with you get the best training anywhere.  Do you want me to miss out on the best training possible because of maybe a few problems?”

 

“Baby,” Brian laughed, “Is it the quality of the training available that really interests you, or are you just looking for one more way to get in my hair?”

 

Justin reached over and tousled Brian’s hair.  “I don’t need to look for ways to get in your hair, do I?” he asked, “Of course it’s the good training I’m looking for.  Whatever contact I might have with you would be a plus though, I’ll admit that.  Would you mind very much seeing me around your work-place?”

 

“I might,” Brian said, “I just might want to grab you every time I passed you in the hall.”

 

“Brian, get serious,” Justin complained, “You don’t grab me every time you pass me here in the loft.”

 

“No,” Brian retorted, “But I could if I wanted to, couldn’t I?”

 

“Yes you could.” Justin admitted, “And you probably wouldn’t get any complaints from me either, but I know you are the consummate professional and you could surely restrain yourself at work.”

 

“There are some real problems, though, Sunshine,” Brian told him. “I don’t know how many of the staff know about us but I know that some do.  You might get better treatment in the art department because of that or you might get worse treatment, but it might not be natural.  So even if it is the best place for a kid to intern, it might not be that for you.”

 

“But I’m good, Brian,” Justin replied, “You know I’m good.  I could do anything they ask of me.  I wouldn’t be using any influence with you.  I don’t think I’d even have any influence with you.”

 

“No you wouldn’t.  Not work-related.” Brian said, “You might be my whole world around here but you’d just be another drone at work.”

 

“Am I really your whole world around here?” Justin asked, “Did you just say that I’m your whole world around here?”

 

“I said ‘Might be.’  ‘Might be’ is what I said, and I don’t know how that’s pertinent to this discussion anyhow,” Brian responded, “What needs to be determined is if you could be a successful intern at Vanguard given our outside relationship”

 

“Well, I’d like to try it anyhow,” Justin maintained.

 

“Cynthia knows all the inside dope at the office.  Maybe we should get her opinion,” Brian weakened, “That is – if you haven’t already done that.”

 

Justin looked a little funny to Brian.  Then he said kind of sheepishly: “Cynthia says she would show my samples to the art department.  She doesn’t see any problem there.  If they liked them, she would tell them about our situation, and see if that’s a problem for them.  She didn’t think it would be.”

 

Brian laughed:  “Oh she did, did she?  You have guts, my little twink, and you sure have Cynthia conned.  What did she say about me, if I may ask, and I’m not sure I want to know?”

“She thought you might have some ethical considerations,” Justin told him.

 

“Ethical considerations, eh,” Brian grinned,  “That sounds like you and not Cynthia.  Justin Taylor, this is a direct order from the boss: ‘What were her exact words?’”

 

“I’d really rather not say.  I don’t think I can remember them,” Justin stammered.

 

“You’re too young to be forgetting.  That’s an age problem according to you.” Brian reminded him, “So just what did she say?”

 

“Do I have to tell?”  Justin pleaded, but Brian just stared at him.

 

“OK,” Justin told him, “She said you would be the only problem, that you were a ‘stubborn old mule’ about a lot of things – and you are a stubborn old mule.  So I’ll just intern somewhere else.  I’m not mad at you though.  You can’t help it if you’re a stubborn old mule.”

 

“And give you and Cynthia proof that I am a stubborn old mule.  No chance.” Brian retorted, “Let Cynthia do what she said she’d do, and if you still want to intern at Vanguard, I’ll go along, if it’s OK with Dean Armstrong.”

 

Justin threw his arms around Brian’s neck.  He knew Brian liked that.  He kissed him.  “I love you,” he told Brian.  “But I need to ask you one more thing,” he added.

 

“Go ahead,” Brian said, “Take advantage while you’re ahead.”

 

“Am I really your whole world around here?” Justin wanted to know.  Brian just looked at him and smiled.

 

Justin didn’t get a spoken answer.  He didn’t need a spoken answer.  He knew.


	97. Chapter 97 - Invitation

Usually there was nothing Justin liked better than sitting with Brian in front of the fireplace.  This time was different though.  They had been sitting there together for some time and Brian had not brought up the subject Justin was dreading.  Finally, he was tired of waiting. 

“Go ahead, Brian,” he blurted out, “Say it.”

 

“You’re behind all of this, aren’t you?” Brian challenged him.

 

“I knew you’d think that,” Justin protested, “You don’t really trust me at all.”

 

“Oh I trust you to always do the right thing,” Brian laughed, “Whether anybody else thinks it’s the right thing or not.”

 

“Brian, I was as surprised as you when it came,” Justin insisted, “I had nothing at all to do with it and I had no idea it was coming.”

 

“So you’re telling me that all out of the blue, with no prodding from you, we get a written invitation to have dinner at Clare’s,” Brian wondered.  “I have never had dinner at Clare’s.  I think I might even be afraid to have dinner at Clare’s.  And you’re saying you had nothing to do with it?”

 

“You know I have been hoping that you and Clare could be more friendly,” Justin responded, “But I had nothing to do with this invitation.  Maybe Clare has just decided to see if you’re interested.”

 

“Why didn’t she call on the phone then?” Brian wondered, “That’s what people usually do.  A written invitation?”

 

“She was probably scared to talk to you, Brian,” Justin countered, “You’re tough.  You scare people, Brian.  I love you and I’m even scared of you.”  Justin looked over at Brian and continued, “What are you laughing about, Honey?” he asked.

 

“I was just thinking about all the crazy things you’ve pulled on me even though you were scared of me,” Brian told him, “And I was wondering what things you might have tried to pull if you hadn’t been so scared of me.”

 

“Well you’ll never know,” Justin laughed back at him, “Because I am scared of you.”

 

“So if I just say I’m not going, Twink,” Brian concluded, “I won’t get any static from you about it.  You’d be too scared to try to make me go, right?”

 

“Nobody could make you go if you don’t want to go,” Justin replied, “And I would never try to get you to do anything you don’t want to do, but I think your nephews would really like it if you went.  They really like you, Bri, and you like them.  They would be so happy to have you and their mother be on better terms.”

 

“And you want me to go, don’t you?” Brian challenged him.

 

“I’d like it if you wanted to go, Brian.  You know that,” Justin responded, “But you also know I wouldn’t want you to go if you really don’t want to.  I’ll bet your mother would be pleased though.  The note says she’ll be there too.”

 

“Probably she would like it, unless Clare and me have one of our big fights,” Brian admitted, “But if we do go, I hope you don’t volunteer us to paint the kitchen.”

 

“Painting you mother’s kitchen was a big success, Brian,” Justin insisted, “And you can’t tell me you weren’t proud of how well we did.  Turned out you’re a natural painter, but then you can do anything, Honey.  Still I promise not to volunteer and I’ll let you answer if Clare asks for our services.  Are you really thinking of going then?”  

 

“You said Michael was coming by later to bring you some _Rage_ stuff, didn’t you?” Brian replied, “You wouldn’t be mad if I asked him for his advice, would you?  He knows my history with Clare better than you do.”

 

Justin didn’t say whether he minded or not but they sat there in silence for a while until the visitor arrived.

 

After Michael gave Justin the _Rage_ folder, Brian returned to the subject of Clare.

 

“Hey Mikey,” he said, “Come and sit with us down here on the floor - next to me though.  I don’t trust you next to the Twink here.  He’s irresistible.”

 

“Gosh,” Michael replied, “I know it’s an honor to be asked to join you guys in front of the fireplace but if you’re in one of your moods, maybe I’d just as soon leave.  I used to have to deal with your moods but that’s Boy Wonder’s job now and he’s welcome to it.”  But Mikey did sit down with them and Brian explained the situation.

 

“Gee whiz,” Mike exclaimed, “I never thought I’d see the day that Clare invited you to her place.  You and her pretty much hated each other when you were growing up.  What’s the occasion?”

 

“I think the Twink here has got her thinking that I might be OK,” Brian told him.

 

“Well I knew he was persuasive,” Mikey marveled, “But getting Clare to change her mind about you is really persuasive.  Still you’ve changed too, Brian.  Maybe she’s changed and you guys can get along now.  It would be good for the kids and your mother would like it.”

 

“How have I changed?” Brian questioned.

 

“You’ve mellowed with age,” Mikey responded, throwing a wink in Justin’s direction.  “I think it would be safe for you to go to Clares’s if you have Justin with you.  He’ll keep you under control.”

 

“He can’t keep me under control,” Brian informed Michael, “He’s too scared of me to be of any help.”  Now it was Brian’s turn to wink at Justin who was not exactly sure what was going on.

 

“Well,” Mikey warned, “If she serves pizza, be sure to look under the cheese.  Remember the time she put all those hot red peppers under the cheese on your pizza and you had a burned mouth for a week.”

 

“Yeah,” Brian remembered, “And the time my mother was making her double chocolate cake for my birthday and she put garlic and onion powder in the batter when mother wasn’t looking.”

 

“But that was after you put the green Easter egg dye in her shampoo,” Michael reminded him.  “It’s time you forgot all those things though, Brian.  I’m sure Clare just wants to mend fences with you now.  You have been good to her kids and they have really improved since you and Justin have been helping with them.”

 

The conversation went on for a little while after that, mostly Mikey and Brian recalling old times, but Michael finally got up and left.

 

After he was gone, the guys cuddled up again in front of the fireplace.  “I guess we’ll go, Baby.  If Clare wants to try, and you want me to try, I’ll try,” Brian decided.

 

“Are you sure you want to?” Justin asked him.  “I don’t want you to do it just for me.  I’ll understand if you don’t want to go.”

 

“No, I want to do it, Baby,” Brian replied, “But one of the reasons I want to do it is because you want me to do it.”  Brian thought Justin had a perplexed look on his face.  “All that talk me and Mikey had didn’t scare you, did it?” he asked the kid.  “Everything will go all right.  You’ll probably get your wish and Clare and me will end up like old friends.”

 

Justin didn’t answer immediately.  Brian squeezed him just a little bit tighter while they sat there staring at the dancing flames in the fireplace.

 

“Brian,” Justin finally spoke up, “I think we’ll have a good time at Clare’s, but, you know, just for fun, I’m going to taste all your food before you eat it.” 


	98. Chapter 98 - An Early Thanksgiving

It was the night before Thanksgiving.  The guys entered the loft together about nine o’clock.  Justin hurried to light the fireplace and plopped himself down on the floor in front of it.  Brian took a little longer to get into position.  There was no period of quiet contentment before the discussion began. 

“Quit laughing, Twink,” Brian ordered.

 

“I’m not laughing,” Justin protested, “Does it look like I’m laughing?”

 

“No, it does not look like you’re laughing,” Brian admitted, “But I know you’re laughing.  You always think it’s funny when I plan something and it doesn’t work out.  And you always say I’m the mean one around here.  And you also keep accusing me of not being romantic enough, and then when I try to be romantic, you laugh.”

 

“Brian, Honey,” Justin insisted, “I was just disappointed as you were, but it’s not the end of the world.  We can try again.”

 

“It’s your fault,” Brian groused,  “You picked Gino’s.”

 

“And just who told me he wanted to take me out for a romantic dinner, just the two of us?” Justin asked, “And told me to pick the place.”

 

“Well you didn’t have to pick Gino’s,” Brian complained.

 

“Bri,” Justin reminded him, “There’s a lot of our history at Gino’s.  That has always been a romantic spot for us.  It was the logical place for us to go.”

 

“Well you knew that I wanted it to be just us,” Brian reminded him back, “I told you that you always have us running around on holidays seeing everybody so I wanted us to have a Thanksgiving dinner for just the two of us.  You knew what I wanted.”

 

“Brian, that’s what I wanted too,” Justin reasoned.  “It’s not like I invited anybody to come along.  You know I wanted it to be just you.”

 

“Well, you’re laughing now,” Brian repeated his complaint.

 

“Damn it, Bri,” Justin took a stand, “I am not laughing, but we should both be laughing.  The whole thing was hilarious.”

 

“Like a Marx Brothers movie,” Brian thought out loud, a slight smile rising on his face.

 

“Who?” Justin wanted to know.

 

“Never mind, Baby,” Brian was laughing now.  “Just having you around makes everything OK, and we’ll have to get you up-to-date on the Marx Brothers sometime soon.  But you’re not off the hook.  You definitely did smile when Andrew and Daphne came in.  You thought that was funny.”

 

“I smiled because they are our friends, Bri,” Justin pointed out. “And I didn’t ask them to join us like you did when Michael, Ben, Hunter, and Malcolm came in.”

 

“Well, I didn’t exactly invite them to join us,” Brian said.  

 

“Well, it seemed like that to me when you asked Gino to get four more chairs,” Justin told him.

 

“Well, Mikey was already sitting down.” Brian tried to explain, “What could I do?”

 

“We only needed three more chairs then, Bri,” Justin wondered, “Unless you already knew Abelard was with them and was parking the car.”

 

“Don’t try blaming me,” Brian protested.  “You’re lucky I’m not mad at you.”

 

“Cut it out, Bri,” Justin demanded.  “It was nobody’s fault.  I only asked Daphne and Andrew to join us after you had the whole crowd at our table.  And what could I do when Ethan and Tom walked in?  Anyhow I  think you enjoyed yourself too.”

 

“Well it wasn’t what I planned but I guess I did enjoy myself a little bit,” Brian allowed, “But it still wasn’t what I had planned.”

 

“Well everything doesn’t go the way we plan all the time,” Justin reminded him.

 

“That’s good to know,” Brian countered, “Because I guess you have every minute planned for tomorrow.  You won’t be too disappointed then if I won’t do some of the stuff because you know that people’s plans don’t always work out.”

 

“This has been a fun discussion so far,” Justin warned him, “And I know you’re joking about tomorrow, so the fun can continue.”

 

“Well, I still wanted a romantic evening for just us two,” Brian groused.

 

“Isn’t it just us two now,” Justin told him, “Or have you invited the gang to come back here too?”

 

“Maybe I did,” Brian teased, “But the guys had to go over to Debbie’s and Andrew and Daphne were going to some concert.  I don’t know where Ethan and Tom were going afterward.”

 

There was a brief respite in the conversation at this point until Justin resumed.

 

“Where do you think you’d be right now if we had never met?” Justin asked Brian to conjecture.

 

“Probably at Babylon,” Brian told him, “Having fun.”

 

“We can go to Babylon, Bri,” Justin offered.

 

“Baby,” Brian told him, “I’m having a lot more fun right here right now than I ever had at Babylon.  Even pretending to argue with you is more fun than anything at Babylon.”

 

“That is a really romantic thing to say, Brian.” Justin cooed.  “See, we’re having our romantic evening after all.”

 

“Yeah, we are, Sunshine,” Brian admitted.  “But we are still going to have our Thanksgiving dinner for just the two of us.  It will just have to be some evening next week.”

 

“That sounds good to me,” Justin told him.  “But I don’t want to pick where.  I don’t want the blame if we run into people we know.”

 

“Nope,” Brian insisted.  “You’re going to pick the place.  It just has to be in Cleveland, St. Louis or Chicago.”

“You don’t have any friends there?” Justin wanted to know.

 

“Yeah I do,” Brian told him, “But we’re going to take masks along just to make sure.  It is going to be just us two.”

 

“And you are coming along everywhere tomorrow without complaining?” Justin wondered.

 

“Maybe.” Brian replied.

 

“Brian,’ Justin informed him, “I heard it when Abe told you that you were lucky when they showed up or you would have been stuck with the blond cousin all night by yourself.  And I heard you tell him you were glad they came in.”

 

“Just being polite,” Brian defended himself.

 

“But you will be coming everywhere with me tomorrow without complaining?”  Justin reiterated.

 

“Guess so,” Brian told him.

 

“I have so much to be thankful for,” Justin burrowed himself into Brian’s body.

 

“Me too, Twink,” Brian admitted. 


	99. Chapter 99 - Surprises83

Brian and Justin had just settled themselves in front of the fireplace.  It felt good because they liked to be together and it felt good because Pittsburgh was experiencing a cold snap and the heat radiating toward them was welcome. 

Brian slid over and kissed Justin, which put the kid in a very good mood.  He snuggled up closer to Brian and decided that some quiet time was called for.  But for a change it was Brian who started a discussion.

 

“It’s getting to be time for Christmas shopping, isn’t it?” he asked cautiously.

 

O my God,” Justin exclaimed, “Brian is going to be so mad.  I let you kiss me because I thought you were Brian.  What am I going to tell him and who the hell are you?”

 

“Brian’s evil twin,” Brian answered, “I have Brian imprisoned and I intend to take over his life.”

 

“Brian doesn’t have an evil twin,” Justin laughed, “Brian is the evil twin.  If you’re not Brian, you must be the good twin.  And the good twin must like Christmas shopping.  Maybe it will be all right to keep evil Brian imprisoned.  At least till after holiday season.  Brian really is a grinch sometimes, you know.”

 

“Well maybe Brian wants to turn over a new leaf,” Brian explained, “If Ebenezer Scrooge could do it, why not Brian Kinney?”

 

“Well Ebenezer had three spirits to help him change,” Justin pointed out, “Poor Brian doesn’t have any.”

 

“Oh yes he does,” Brian insisted, “Only one though, but that one was enough for him.”

 

“You know what?” Justin told him, “I love you whoever you are.  I always will.  But I know you too, and I know something’s up and I’m not sure I want to know what it is.”

 

“Then you must not be the real Justin Taylor.” Brian answered him, “The real Justin Taylor wants to know everything.  He is the most inquisitive person I know, so who the hell are you?”

 

“OK Kinney,” Justin gave up, “You know how Mikey always says our discussions make him dizzy.  Well this one is beginning to make me dizzy.  What’s going on?  I am the real Justin Taylor all right and I do want to know.”

 

Brian moved over and kissed Justin again.  “Yeah,” he said, “You are the real Justin Taylor, I guess.’

 

“This must be worse than I thought,” Justin told him.  “OK, I’ll bite.  Mikey and I were planning to go Christmas shopping this Saturday.  We were going to ask you if you wanted to come along but we were willing to go just the two of us and let you off the hook if you didn’t want to go.  Then today Malcolm asked if he could go with us so now we have three.  You can come if you want to.  Four’s not a bad number.”

 

“Five,” Brian said.

 

“Five?” Justin wondered, “Oh, you mean you and your twin are both coming, I guess.”

 

“Abelard,” Brian told him.

 

“Abelard?” Justin echoed, “What about Abelard?  I think you better talk, Kinney.”

 

“I got a phone call from Abe today at work,” Brian explained, “He’s going to be in town for the week end and he wants to do all his Christmas shopping while he’s here.  He wanted me to go with him and help him pick things.’

 

“He really doesn’t know you, does he?” Justin laughed.

 

“I told him you were the best Christmas shopper around here and that you would be a much bigger help to him than I could ever be,” Brian continued.

 

“And what did he say to that?” Justin questioned through a big smile.

 

“He said he always wondered what that blond cousin I have staying with me was good for,” Brian replied, “But he said he really wanted the opinion of somebody more like himself, a real man’s man.”

 

“Well you are that, Brian Kinney,” Justin was laughing riotously, “You are really a man’s man.  And I am the man, so there.  If you want to, you and Abelard can go shopping by yourselves and get all the manly type stuff.  Me and Mikey and Malcolm can still go and do our own thing.”

 

“That is not what’s going to happen,” Brian commanded, “Not at all what’s going to happen.  We are all going to go together.  You are going to pick out the stuff and tell me and then I am going to suggest it to Abe.  That’s what we are going to do.”

 

“Geez,” Justin exclaimed, “I will finally have Brian Kinney doing just what I tell him.”

 

Now it was Brian’s turn to laugh.  “Yeah,” he said, “For a change we’ll do what you want to do.”

 

“Well I guess we can work that out to your satisfaction, sir,” Justin decided, “But since this is Abelard’s one shot shopping trip, he’ll have to buy stuff.  Me and Mikey never buy anything the first time out as you well know, so don’t you be thinking about buying anything yourself.”

 

“Well I guess you are the real Justin Taylor all right,” Brian stated.  “You sound exactly like Justin Taylor.”

 

“Cut it out, Bri,” Justin told him as he leaned over and kissed the greatest guy in the world.

 

There was silence in the loft for a while after that.  It was usually Justin who resumed any discussion but this was not any night, so it was Brian who broke the silence.

 

“Are you in a good mood, Twink?” he asked.

 

“I’m sitting here with Brian Kinney, the love of my life,” Justin answered.  “He has his arm around me and he’s messing up my hair.  Of course I’m in a good mood.  Please don’t mess with my good mood, Honey.  With my hair, oh yeah, but not with my good mood.”

 

“But I have a confession to make,” Brian told him, “And I think this is the best time to make it – while you’re in such a good mood.  So here it is.   I have already done some Christmas shopping.  I have a couple of things already bought.”

 

“You never do any shopping without me,” Justin protested, “And where would you be storing these gifts?”

 

“That’s not exactly true,” Brian told him.  He picked up Justin’s hand and showed him the ring.  “You weren’t there when I got those.”

 

“You’re right,” Justin had to admit, “And you’re never going to top that for a gift.”

 

“That’s why I figured I wouldn’t get you anything this Christmas,” Brian cajoled.

 

“You have said a lot of funny things tonight, Brian,” Justin told him, “But that has to be the funniest.  It better be the funniest.”

 

“I hope you’re not mad, Baby,” Brian told him, “But Cynthia and I saw some neat things in catalogs and I bought a few of them.  Mostly for you but a few other things too.  We’re hiding them down at the office.  See what I’ve learned from you the last couple of Christmases.”

 

“No, I’m not mad, Bri,” Justin smiled.  “It’s about time you did some things on your own without my help and guidance.  I guess you don’t want to tell me what you got me, do you?”

 

“No I don’t want to tell you what I got you,” Brian stated firmly.  “Christmas is about surprises and I want you to be surprised.”

 

“As I look back on this evening, Sweetheart, “ Justin concluded, “I think I’m already surprised.  But I guess I really have had enough surprises for one night.”

 

“Maybe not,” Brian whispered as he threw both arms around the kid.


	100. Chapter 100 - Useless Cousins

Malcolm had spent several hours that late afternoon in the loft, helping Justin install his elaborate Christmas decorations.  Brian, whose decorating skills were considered to be somewhat underwhelming, had been relegated to the status of gofer.  He held things, and handed things, and went and got things, and he did all of that with an unfailing good humor.  People who knew the old Brian Kinney would have been astounded.  There didn’t seem to be much of the old Brian Kinney left.  But there was. 

The guys had turned on the fireplace and were resting comfortably in front of their fake flames.  Brian figured his turn had come.  “Malcolm said that Abelard was very pleased with his Christmas shopping expedition over the weekend,” Brian said to Justin.

 

“Well he ought to have been,” Justin replied.  “He had about 20 people on his list and not many ideas about what to get them, so we really had to work from scratch, and we didn’t even know some of the people we were buying for.”

 

“But he went back to Columbus with everything he needed,” Brian continued, “And he told Malcolm I was the best Christmas shopper in the world.  Me!  Brian Kinney!  The best Christmas shopper in the world!”

 

“Nobody is likely to confuse Abelard with Albert Einstein, Brian,” Justin chortled, “Anyone with half a brain would have seen that it was me picking out the stuff and not you.  But he thinks you’re the greatest at anything you do.  If Abe were gay, I’d be worried.”

 

“So nobody who thinks I’m the greatest could be confused with Albert Einstein,” Brian allowed.

 

“That’s not what I said at all,” Justin laughed at him.  “I think you’re the greatest everything in the world too and I’m always getting compared to Albert Einstein.”

 

“OK,” Brian challenged jokingly,  “You know I told Abe you were the world’s best Christmas shopper even before he came here.  Well while we were out buying everything in sight he told me he didn’t think you were as good as I was at shopping.  You want to hear his exact words.  He said, ‘Brian, I don’t think that blond cousin you have staying with you is such a good shopper at all.  He seems kind of useless to me.’  They are his exact words.”

 

“So I’m the useless blond cousin, am I?” Justin laughed.  “I guess you agreed with him.”

 

“No, I didn’t,” Brian responded, “I told him there were a lot of things you are very good at.  I just didn’t tell him what.”

 

“Well at least we’re done with Abelard for a while,” Justin seemed to breathe easy.

 

“Well, maybe not,” Brian informed him.  “He did say that if his friends had trouble buying their gifts, he might bring them to town week end after next so that I could help them with their shopping too.”

 

“That’s a great idea, Bri,” Justin countered, “And I’ll help out by not going along so you can really do the choosing.  You’ll get a lot more done without your useless blond cousin that you have staying with you.”

 

“You wouldn’t do that?” Brian wondered.

 

“Get Albert Einstein to go with you,” Justin suggested.

 

“Albert Einstein’s dead,” Brian insisted, “And you’re alive, and you can still be alive when Christmas comes if you come along.”

 

“You’re the best arguer in the world, Brian Kinney,” Justin opined as he mussed up Brian’s hair with his hand.

 

“Second best,” Brian told him as he returned the hair mussing favor.

 

That stopped the chatting for a while.  It was just a little while though before Brian resumed the conversation.

 

“Are you going to get an ugly little Charlie Brown tree like you did last year?” Brian asked.

 

“Funny you should bring that up, Bri,” Justin informed him,” I thought you liked that so actually Mikey’s coming by in half an hour and we’re going to look for one.  With all the decorating we did, we’re ready for it now.  But if you don’t want one…”

 

“Oh no,” Brian said, “Gus liked it so well that I hoped you’d want to do that again.”

 

“And you liked it too, Bri,” Justin, “You liked it about as much as Gus did.  You know it’s OK not to be mean old Brian Kinney every once in a while.  Me and Mikey will get you a really ugly tree.  You can count on me and Mikey.”

 

“I have to admit that you and Mikey are the best at picking ugly trees,” Brian affirmed.

 

It was a few minutes before Justin figured out what was going on.  “Brian,” he asked, “Do you want to come with Mikey and me when we go looking for the ugly tree?”

 

“Well I will if you need me,” Brian said.

 

“I need you all the time, you nut,” Justin told him, “Of course, we’ll want you to come along.  It’s not easy picking an ugly tree and we need all the help we can get.  Albert Einstein is dead so who better than you?”

 

 Justin had to smile as the greatest guy in the world hastened into the bedroom to get ready to go out.  “Brian Kinney going out to pick a Christmas tree!  A Charlie Brown tree at that!” Justin wondered.  Now Justin was beginning to feel mushy so he was glad when Michael arrived.

 

“OK, Boy Wonder,” Mike exclaimed, “It’s time to rescue some needy tree from the junk heap.  Ready to go.  We don’t want all the ugly trees to be gone before we get ours.”

 

“Not just the two of us though,” Justin informed him, ”I have this useless cousin who’s coming along.”

 

“I didn’t know you had any cousins, Justin,” Mikey was saying, as Brian emerged from the dressing area in a Christmassy outfit highlighted by a long bright red scarf.”

 

“I heard what you said, Sunshine,” Brian looked at Justin, and then turning to Michael, he continued, “Useless cousin Brian at your service.”

 

“Oh shit,” Michael decided.  “You guys are at it again.  Do I have to know what the hell you nuts are doing now?  Are you two always crazy like this or just when I’m here?”

 

“You’re our inspiration, useless cousin Michael,” Brian joked, “You bring out the best in us.”

 

“I don’t need to know any more about the useless cousin stuff,” Michael replied, “But where the hell did you get that ugly red scarf.  You look like Emmett.”

 

“I am in the Christmas spirit, useless cousin Michael,” Brian laughed, “And this neat scarf is an early Christmas present.”

 

“Justin,” Mikey wondered, “You didn’t …?”

 

“Abelard,” Justin told him, “It was the one thing he picked himself.  He didn’t want Brian to pick his own gift.”

 

“But I thought you picked out all the gifts for Abelard,” Michael questioned Justin.

 

“Forget it, Mikey,” Justin cut him off.  “You don’t want to know.  We’re off to find a Charlie Brown tree.  Just us three useless cousins.  So let’s go.”

 

And so they went.

 

Justin had never been happier in his life.

 

Neither had Brian.


	101. Chapter 101 - Ghosts of Christmas

“Just like that?” Justin quizzed Brian as they took their accustomed positions in front of their fake fireplace.  “No complaining, no fussing?  Just ‘OK’?”    

The Christmas decorations were also lit, and a holiday atmosphere pervaded the loft.  Still Justin was apprehensive.

 

“Yeah,” Brian told him, “Just like that.  Actually I want to go so there’s no use arguing about it.  Not that I really have a choice.”  
  


“It’s just not like you, Brian.  You’ve actually been in a Christmas mood this whole month,” Justin explained, “And that scares me.  You are feeling all right, aren’t you?”

 

“Yeah, Baby,” Brian smiled at him, “But just so that you’ll feel better, I could complain about it if you want me to.”

 

“The Ghost of Christmas Past,” Justin allowed.  

 

“I don’t even want to think about the Christmases before I met you,” Brian told him, “But I’ve liked all the Christmases since.”  
  
”And I don’t think I even remember the Christmases before I met you,” Justin responded.

 

“You were too young to remember,” Brian gibed.

 

“Now you’re beginning to sound more like the Brian Kinney I know and love,” Justin gibed back.

 

“That’s the Brian Kinney you know and love?” Brian echoed.

 

“Any Brian Kinney is the Brian Kinney I know and love, any Brian Kinney at all” Justin confided, “But let’s get our plans set so we can tell Mikey what we’re doing.”

 

“When’s he going?” Brian wanted to know.

 

“There are four performances,” Justin answered, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday night, and Sunday matinee.  Mikey and Ben are planning to go Thursday and Saturday, but I bet they’ll go to all of them.  After all, it’s Hunter’s first big play at the Performing Arts High School.”

 

“But we’re only going once, right?” Brian said.  “Don’t you think once is enough for us?”

 

“Whatever you say, Bri,” Justin agreed.  “I think we should do whatever you want to do.”

 

“Now that’s the Justin Taylor that I love, but not exactly the one I know.” Brian laughed.

 

“Maybe we should change the subject, Honey,” Justin suggested with a knowing smile on his face.

 

“Well who would want to play Bob Crachit anyhow?” Brian pointed out, “That’s a terrible role.  If I were in it, I’d want to play Scrooge.”

 

“And nobody would consider you for any other role, Honey,” Justin laughed, “But you’re safe this time around.  The cast is all students.  Malcolm is helping out with the direction though, and I predict Hunter will be a great Bob Crachit.”

 

“I guess we ought to go one of the times Mikey is going to be there,” Brian thought.  “Don’t you think so?”

 

“Whatever you want,” Justin agreed.  “Hunter doesn’t think it will be sold out for any of the performances so we have some leeway there.”

 

“Not sold out,” Brian marveled.  “They must need some star attraction in their cast.  Maybe I really should volunteer to play Scrooge.  I’ll bet that would fill the joint for all the performances.”

 

“I don’t think so, Bri,” Justin laughed at him.  “Everybody has seen you play Scrooge so often in real life that I don’t think they’d want to pay to see you do it on stage.”

 

“Well then maybe we ought to get you to play Tiny Tim,” Brian retorted.  “You’re always spouting that sweetness and light crap.”

 

“Yeah,” Justin admitted, “But that would be type casting too.  Everybody knows how good I am.”

 

“No they don’t,” Brian told him, “Not about some things.  And they’re not going to find out either.”

 

“Cut it out, Brian,” Justin smiled at him, and then he decided to change the subject.   “Are you satisfied with the way the loft is decorated?  I think it’s just right but we can change things around if you want to.”

 

“Yeah,” Brian answered, hugging the kid just a little bit tighter, “I like it just the way it is.  Everything’s perfect.  I like everything the way it is.    I don’t want to change anything – and I don’t want anything to change.”

 

“That sounds awfully romantic, Brian,” Justin told him,  “Maybe you couldn’t play Scrooge after all.  You seem to really like Christmas these days.”  
  
”Must be the Ghost of Christmas Present come to haunt me,” Brian guessed, “But I am kind of looking forward to the holiday stuff.  Seeing Gus on Christmas morning, visiting the hospital, exchanging gifts….”

 

“Me too,” Justin agreed.  “You know, I hope I get those stereo earphones I want.”

 

“Sounds like it’s the Ghost of Christmas Presents that’s haunting you, you mercenary twink,” Brian laughed.

 

“That’s a mean thing to say, Brian,” Justin admonished him, “I’m not mercenary at all.  I am probably the least mercenary person you know.  I was just trying to let you know you got me the right thing.  I thought that would make you happy.”

 

“And how are you so sure, Baby, that I got you those earphones?’  Brian laughed.  “Snooping?”

 

“Not at all, Sweetheart,” Justin cajoled, “It’s just that you always do the right thing.”

 

“Can I quote you on that when I need to?” Brian asked.

 

“I wouldn’t count on it, Honey, but why would you ever need to?” Justin wanted to know.

 

The conversation died out as it was often wont to do during these sessions in front of the fireplace.  The guys enjoyed sitting huddled together just watching the flames fly.

 

“Brian,” Justin finally resumed the conversation.  “This is our third Christmas together, and they keep getting better and better.  Have I told you lately that I love you?”

 

“Yeah, you have,” Brian answered in a matter-of-fact tone.  “But probably not as often as you should – and certainly not as often as I’d like.”

 

“Well then,” Justin concluded, “I will make sure I tell you more often.  I want you to know.”

 

Another lull in the conversation followed that exchange.

 

And it was Justin who eventually resumed the conversation, as it usually was.  “You have a weird look on your face, Bri,” Justin told him.  “Is there anything the matter?”

 

“Nothing at all, Sunshine.  Nothing at all.” Brian told him.  “I think I was just being visited by the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come.  And there is absolutely nothing the matter.  Believe me, there is nothing the matter.  Have I told you lately that I love you?”

 

“Yeah,” Justin answered him, “But it’s OK to say it again.  I never get tired of hearing it.”  

 

There was a weird look on Justin’s face.  


	102. Chapter 102 - White Christmas

It was Christmas night.  The snow had started falling about six o’clock.  The guys had their Christmas activities successfully completed and were settling down to recapitulate in front of their roaring fake fireplace.  Brian was glad they did not have to venture outside.  There were already several inches of snow piled up with several more expected.  They had nothing scheduled for the next day either and so a feeling of contentment enveloped them as they sat cuddling together. 

“Another great holiday, Brian,” Justin told him.

 

“Well it was a busy one, that’s for sure,” Brian replied.  “Visiting your mother and my mother and Debbie’s and Mel’s, and the hospital.  That all seems like a lot but I’m glad you schedule it all so well that we get it all done.”

 

“I think you’re glad **_when_** it’s all done,” Justin laughed, “But sometimes you seem to be suffering while we’re doing it.”

 

“I was better this year though,” Brian insisted, “I’m getting better at all the sociability stuff.”

 

“You are indeed,” Justin conceded, “But you were absolutely perfect here last night and at the hospital today.”

 

“Last night was super,” Brian admitted.  “I can’t believe how much I enjoy our son enjoying Christmas.  And I especially like it when he likes our place so much.  He is crazy about your decorations and he loves that Charlie Brown tree.  He thinks it’s his.”

 

“It is his, Bri,” Justin pointed out.  “That’s why we have that dopey little tree – for Gus.”

 

“Well, it’s our tree too,” Brian insisted.  “Just because I’ve hit the big three-oh doesn’t mean I don’t still have some kid left in me.  Of course I never knew that till I got mixed up with you.  Sometimes when I’m with you I do things I can’t really explain.”

 

“Don’t blame me because you’re such a good guy, Brian,” Justin joked.  “If you weren’t such a good guy, I wouldn’t have tracked you down in the first place.”

 

“Well I guess you were the only one who knew that then,” Brian figured.

 

“Lucky me,” Justin concluded.  “Anyhow, it was a lot of fun with Gus here last night and this morning over at his place.  I think he got everything he wanted for Christmas.  And today was our third Christmas visit at Children’s Hospital too.  That’s getting to be a real production.”

 

“Yeah,” Brian agreed.  “The first year it was just Santa and his elf.  Last year we added Mother Christmas and now this year we had the Kristmas Klown with us too.  I never knew there was a Kristmas Klown”

 

“I’m not sure there ever was a Kristmas Klown before today, just like there wasn’t any Mother Christmas before last year.” Justin declared.  “But I thought Debbie was fabulous today as Mother Christmas, and Malcolm makes a wonderful Kristmas Klown.  The kids were spellbound by both of them, but you were still the star, Bri.  Santa Claus was still the biggest hit with the kids.”

 

“Those kids are the greatest,” Brian said, “So the more of us the merrier.  Maybe we can have Abe next year.”

 

“As the Christmas Ape, I guess,” Justin suggested, “Abe the Ape.”

 

“It’s not Abelard’s fault I’m stuck with that blond cousin I can’t get rid of,” Brian told him.  “How come Malcolm isn’t in Cincinnati with his folks though?” 

 

“His parents are on a cruise,” Justin told him.  “Abelard is with his mother and dad but Malcolm stayed here to help with Hunter’s play.  He’ll be in Cincinnati on New Tear’s Eve though.  They’ll be back by then”

 

“No New Year’s Eve Klown then?” Brian surmised.

 

“Not unless you want to be it,” Justin suggested.

 

“Don’t think so,” Brian laughed, “And I don’t want you getting any ideas either.”

 

“Can’t I get an idea if I promise it won’t be about a New Year’s Eve Klown?” Justin responded.

 

“All your ideas can be dangerous,” Brian told him, “But I guess if you have to get an idea, it will be all right.”

 

They quit talking for a while.  It was enough for them just to be together.  They could feel their mutual attraction without speaking it.  They could almost read each other’s minds.  Almost !!! 

 

“Brian?” Justin began to say something but seemed to decide against it.

 

“What?” Brian asked him.

 

“Nothing,” Justin replied.

 

“Darn it, Twink,” Brian complained, “You’ve just given me the best Christmas I’ve ever had.  Now what is it that you want and don’t want to tell me about?”

 

“Nothing, Bri,” Justin told him, “Just something crazy.  Forget it.  You know I get crazy ideas.”

 

“Justin Taylor,” Brian insisted, “What do you want?  I don’t care how crazy it is.  What do you want?”

 

“I just thought,” Justin said hesitatingly, “That it would be fun … to go outside and build a snowman.”

 

“You want to go outside at eleven o’clock at night and build a snowman?”  Brian asked for verification.

 

“Forget it Brian,” Justin replied.  “I’m sorry I even mentioned it.  It’s time I grew up.  I’ve passed the big two-oh, you know.  I don’t know what gets into me sometimes.”

 

“Baby,” Brian smiled at him, “I don’t want you ever to grow up.  I want you just the way you are.  If you want to build a snowman, we’re going to go out and build the best snowman ever constructed.  Let’s go, Kiddo.”

 

“You don’t think I’m crazy?” Justin asked.

 

“Oh yeah,” Brian responded, “I think you’re crazy but that is immaterial.  Before we go out though, I want to wish you a Merry Christmas and tell you how much I love you.”

 

“How come you need to tell me that before we go out?” Justin wondered.

 

“Because,” Brian laughed, “You might not be speaking to me when we come back in – after I bop you a couple of times with a snowball or two.  I don’t want to do that but I just might have to.  The temptation may prove to be too great.  I told you sometimes when I’m with you I do things I can’t really explain.”

 

“You might have to  bop me with a couple of snowballs, eh?” Justin marveled.  “I hope you don’t expect me just to be a sitting duck, Kinney.  I can throw a mean snowball myself if I get provoked.  So I guess I better wish you a Merry Christmas and tell you how much I love you too before we go out.”

 

“We’re supposed to be going out together to build a snowman, Baby,” Brian protested.  “And you’re sounding like you’d  like for us to have a real snow ball war.”

 

“Actually, Bri, I think you brought up the subject first, but I have to tell you, I like anything,” Justin confided in him, “When it’s just the two of us.”

 

“It’ll just be the two of us when we come back in too,” Brian reminded him.  

 

“I know,” Justin told him


	103. Chapter 103 - Hear Hear

Brian was sitting in front of the flitting flames.  Justin was dancing around the loft.  Brian tried to signal to the kid unsuccessfully.  Brian was not happy.  Finally he got up off the floor and grabbed the twink from behind with both arms.  Justin removed the earphones. 

“What’s up, Bri?” he wanted to know.

 

“Bri has been sitting on the floor waiting for you for the last fifteen minutes,” he was told, “And Bri is getting impatient.  Bri might even be getting mad.”

 

“Didn’t you give me these Bose top of the line earphones to use?”  Justin defended himself.

 

“Yeah, I did,” Brian complained, “But they were not meant to be a substitute for me.”

 

“I’m sorry, Brian,” Justin apologized, “But these things are so neat.  A great Christmas present.  I just love them.  I’m sorry if I seem to have them on all the time but the novelty will wear off.”

 

“Just like the novelty’s worn off me, I guess,” Brian groused.

 

“Never, Sweetheart,” Justin assured him as he dragged Brian back onto the floor in front of the fireplace.

 

“You’re wearing those earphones too much,” Brian kept on.  “You can’t hear me when I’m talking to you.”

 

“I don’t think I’m wearing them too much at all,” Justin retorted.  “You probably just got them for me because you don’t like the music I like to listen to.”

 

“I think maybe I did,” Brian confessed, “But I didn’t expect you to have them on as much as you do.”

 

“Well I don’t really think I wear them too much,” Justin maintained.

 

“Well I’ve been trying to tell you for the last fifteen minutes how much I love you,” Brian told him.

 

“Maybe I am wearing them too much,” Justin reconsidered.  “I’m beginning to see what you’re talking about.”

 

“And hearing what I’m talking about too,” Brian laughed.

 

“The last time I looked at you, you were on the telephone, Brian,” Justin pointed out.  “If I would have taken off the earphones then you would have accused me of eavesdropping.  What did Mikey want?”

 

“If you had taken off the earphones, Baby,” Brian came back, “You would have known that it wasn’t  Mikey  I was talking to.  It was Daphne.”

 

“You know it wasn’t like I was in Timbuktu or somewhere,” Justin responded, “I could have come to the phone.”

 

“Then you really would have been eavesdropping,” Brian told him, “Because she didn’t want to talk to you.  She wanted to talk to me.”

 

“I’m not going to like this, am I?” Justin figured.

 

“Don’t get paranoid, Kiddo,” Brian interjected.

“It’s about her New Year’s Eve party, I know,” Justin surmised.  “She wanted us to come but I told her we couldn’t.  We have to be at Debbie’s and I know you don’t like messing around with the younger crowd.  I’m sorry she bothered you.”

 

“Well we are going.  No reason why I can’t fit in with the younger crowd.” Brian informed him.  “I told her we’d be there.”

 

“Without consulting me?” Justin declared unbelievingly.

 

“Would I do anything like that?” Brian acted amazed.  “You would never make any arrangements for me without consulting me, would you?  Of course, I didn’t make any arrangements for you.  I told her I’d be there and maybe you would agree to come with me.  I told her I’d ask you.”

 

“I think I detect a little sarcasm there, Kinney,” Justin deduced. “Maybe I should just put the earphones back on again.”

 

“I don’t think so,” Brian warned.  “I might be ready to tell you again how much I love you.”

 

“Fat chance of that,” Justin laughed.  “But we can’t go to Daphne’s, Bri,” Justin returned to reality.  “We’re supposed to be at Debbie’s and I know you’ll enjoy yourself more there than at Daphne’s.”

 

“And what about you?” Brian countered.  “Where would you rather be?”

 

“Anyplace with you,” Justin told him.

 

“Likewise,” Brian assured the kid, “And I only told Daph that we would be there for an hour or so, either before midnight or after.  And that will be up to you, Sunshine, that is, if you decide you’ll come to Daphne’s with me at all.”

 

“How long do I have to decide?” Justin teased.

 

“As long as you need,” Brian teased back.

 

They settled in at this point to spend some quiet time staring at the flickering flames.  They both liked that.

 

“Brian.” Justin eventually broke the spell, “I think I’ll make a New Year’s resolution not to wear the earphones at all when we’re here together.”

 

“I don’t think that’s necessary,” Brian told him.  “Sometimes we’re both here and you’re working on something or I’m working on something.  There’s no reason why you couldn’t have the earphones on then.  And anyhow your resolutions only last until January fifth mostly so it’s hardly worth bothering.”

 

“Yeah,” Justin agreed, “You’re probably right.  But you know what, Bri, I’m going to make a resolution this year that I’m going to keep all year and maybe forever.  I’m not going to tell you what it is though because it’s a big secret.”

 

“Good enough,” Brian told him.  “I don’t want to stand in the way of any resolution that would make you a better person, and you know me, if I know what it is, I’ll probably try to get you to break it.”

 

“I don’t think so,” Justin sounded confident, “But I’ll keep it a secret for now anyway.  I don’t guess it would be any use to try to get you to make any resolutions, would it?”

 

“I don’t do resolutions,” Brian reaffirmed, and that led to another period of silent contemplation.

 

It was Brian who broke the silence this time while also breaking with precedent.  “Baby,” Brian told him, “I think I will make a resolution this year.  It’s one I know I can keep though so I’m going to tell you what it is.  I’m resolving to make next year the best ever year for us.”

 

Justin seemed taken aback.  “Geez, Brian,” he said, “You’ve stolen my secret resolution.  But I’m not going to complain.  It will be so much better if we both have the same resolution so I don’t mind you stealing mine.”

 

“I think you better put your earphones on.” Brian told the kid.

 

“What are you talking about, Honey?” Justin wondered.

 

“I think I’m going to tell you something and maybe it would be better if you had your earphones on,” Brian warned him.

 

“Not a chance,” Justin smiled at him.  “I think this could be the best sound I ever heard, the best fidelity, the best stereo, the best range, the best everything.  Sometimes you’re better off without earphones.”

 

Justin was not disappointed.


	104. Chapter 104 - Sliding Downhill

Justin was in his usual place in front of the fake fireplace.  Brian was not, but he seemed to be trying to get there.   

“This is all your fault,” Brian accused the innocent looking blond twink who was waiting for him to make it to the floor – if he was ever going to.

 

“It is not my fault,” Justin denied the accusation.  “There is no way you can blame me for this.  I even tried to warn you.  You’re not as young as you used to be.”

 

“Now there’s a profound statement, Twink,” Brian retorted, “Nobody’s as young as they used to be – including you.  The important question is who brought that damn video home from the library.  _Anybody Can Ski.  _ What a crock that is.”

 

“Brian,” Justin protested, “I did not bring that video home for you.  I brought that video home for me.  You said you were probably going to have to be away sometime soon for a whole weekend, or maybe even longer, at some convention, and I didn’t want to be lonely so I told Malcolm I’d go skiing with him at Seven Springs while you were away.  I would be so lonely here without you and you said I couldn’t go with you.  I never dreamed that you would want to go skiing.”

 

“Remember last year when you dragged me ice skating,” Brian reminded him, “I didn’t want to go but you made such a fuss.”

 

“That was so you could skate with Gus, Brian,” Justin defended himself, “And you got to be a pretty good skater too.  You’re glad you went.  This is entirely different.  You decided to try skiing.  I told you it wasn’t as easy as it looked in that video.  I didn’t want you to go skiing.  I love you.  You’re no good to me with a broken leg or a smashed- in head.”

 

Brian finally made it to the floor with a thud.  “Well I don’t have either of those, Kiddo,” Brian reminded him, “But I’m so stiff, I guess I’m no use to you anyhow.”

 

“You could be,” Justin told him, “If you’d put your arm around me or hold my hand.”

 

“I guess I could do either or both of those,” Brian admitted, “But I don’t see why I should.”

 

“There are a lot of reasons why you should,” Justin laughed, “But the most immediate one would be that, if you don’t, I might not help you get up, and there’s no way you’re going to get up by yourself, so you could be sitting there for a week.  I’d bring you some chicken soup though, so you don’t starve.”

 

“So you’re a blackmailer, too,” Brian concluded while throwing one arm around the kid and taking his hand with the other, “Or would that be extortion?”

 

“Either one,” Justin decided.  “It’s worth it though.”

 

“You think I wouldn’t have done it without a threat?”  Brian wanted to know.

 

“No, I think you would have,” Justin answered, “That’s why I love you – even when you can’t walk right or get up and down, or even move very well.  Even when you’re complaining about me, which is a good bit of the time, even when you don’t say it, you act like you love me.”

 

“You certainly can be a pain, Baby” Brian told him, “But how did you get to be such a good skier if I may ask?”

 

“I’m not a good skier, Bri,” Justin refused the compliment, “I went a couple of times while I was at St. James.  They were always having ski trips during the winter, so I learned a little bit.  I haven’t been on skis for years so I brought that video home as a refresher course for me.  It never occurred to me that you’d be interested or I wouldn’t have brought it home.  I still can’t figure out why you were.”

 

“You mean you can’t read my mind for once, Twink?” Brian asked him.

 

“I can when it’s working right, Honey,” the kid told him.  “But we don’t need to go skiing ever again.  You know, Brian, you weren’t doing so badly with the skiing though.  You just pushed yourself too hard, too fast.  If you’d act like a normal person you could have been a decent skier in a few more tries, but you have to be the best right away – that’s how you are.”

 

“And what are we going to do when Gus decides he wants to go skiing,” Brian challenged, “I’m not going to be able to go with him.”

 

“I think it’s great when you can do things with Gus,” Justin answered, “But we were lucky today that you finished up in one piece.  Melanie can ski, Emmett told me.  She’ll just have to teach Gus if he wants to try the slopes.”

 

“So you want me to give up?” Brian asked.

 

“Not give up,” Justin responded.  “You would never give up at anything.  I think we should call this a responsible decision in the interest of continued good health.  Surely you don’t want to go out again?”

 

“I might,” Brian informed him, “Maybe just to show you.  Brian Kinney is not a quitter.  Didn’t you just say you thought I could learn?  If you’re scared to go with me, I could get Malcolm to go with me.  He and Abelard were both on their high school skiing team he told me.  I’ll bet Abe would even come in from OSU if he knew I needed him.”

 

“Now you’re confusing me, Brian,” Justin pointed out.  “First you blame me because you went skiing and maimed yourself; now you’re talking about going again whether I want you to or not.  If you go, of course I’ll go with you.  It would be better than sitting around here worrying about you.  But I hope you won’t blame me if you end up with a fracture.  You’re uncontrollable, you know.”

 

“Sunshine, I never blamed you for any of this,” Brian said, “I just said it was your fault.”

 

“That doesn’t make a lot of sense, Bri,” Justin replied, “I didn’t think you hit your head when you ran into the tree, but maybe you did.”

 

“Nope, I didn’t,” Brian assured him. “And I didn’t hit my head when I flipped over and rolled down the hill either.  Will you try again with me if I want to go back in a couple of days?  I’ll try to listen to what you tell me.”

 

“Brian, I would do anything you want to do,” Justin told him, “But I usually know what’s going on with you and this skiing business is compulsive, and it’s got me a little bit scared.  If you insist on going though, maybe I should bring home that video again from the library.  It is good on fundamentals.”

 

“You won’t have to do that,” Brian told him, “I bought a copy.  It’s under the couch.”

 

“Brian, you know this has really got me scared,” Justin pleaded.  “You’re acting kind of crazy.”

 

“I’m not crazy,” Brian said as he squeezed the kid.  “Baby, the convention I have to go to is late next month.  It runs from Monday till Friday and I have to go.  It’s in Vail, Colorado.” Brian told him.  “I didn’t want you to go because I couldn’t ski and I didn’t know you could ski.  Remember I wasn’t too good with the snowboarding.  Then I saw the skiing video.  I decided if we could ski even a little bit, you could come along.  We could spend the weekends before and after the meetings by ourselves, and there would be some time during the week too.  I’ll bet you could do some sketching while I’m busy.  Vail is a beautiful place but I wouldn’t like it without you.  So now I guess you know why it was your fault that I went skiing.”

 

“Geez, Bri,” Justin said, “You’d really be lonely without me like I’d be lonely without you?”

 

“Guess so,” Brian muttered.

 

“And you want me to come to Vail with you?” Justin continued.

 

“Guess so,” Brian muttered again.

 

“And you wanted to learn to ski just so that we could be together at the convention?” Justin asked.

 

“Guess so,” Brian muttered.

 

“That is so romantic, Bri.  Some people don’t think you’re romantic but they don’t really know you,” Justin told him.  “We’re going to be the best skiers at Vail.  I know we will be.”

 

“How are we gonna do that?” Brian laughed.  “We’ll be lucky to be able to do the amateur slopes.”

 

“Oh no, Bri,” Justin enthused.  “There is an _Advanced Anybody Can Ski_ video, and we’re going to get it.


	105. Chapter 105 - Prodigy

  
Author's notes: Note: I am publishing this Chat off-schedule and out-of-order because it pertains to the next Chat which is the July 4th story.  


* * *

PRODIGY

The guys had just settled themselves in front of the fireplace. Brian had his arm around Justin and a smile on his face. He was waiting for Justin to say something. He didn’t have to wait long.

“Brian, there’s something I want to tell you,” Justin opened up.

“I know that, Baby,” Brian told him, “I can always tell when you have something to tell me. I know you pretty well.”

“You know how my mind works?” Justin queried.

“Oh no,” Brian answered. “I don’t know how you’re mind works. I don’t think anybody knows how your mind works, and I don’t think you know how your mind works either. There may even be a question as to whether your mind works at all.”

“Well I know how your mind works,” Justin countered. “It’s on a constant search for things to pick on me about. Well let me tell you, Brian Kinney, even though I love you a lot, you are sometimes hard to tell anything to, and don’t look so surprised either. Actually you are always hard to tell anything to.”

“I’ll settle for you loving me a lot,” Brian laughed. “And to prove that I’m not hard to tell things to, I’ll help you out. Since you spent the whole day taking care of Gus, I’m guessing it’s about him, n’est-ce pas?”

Justin laughed back. “You can forget your high-falutin’ French too, Bri,” He said, “But you’re right, it is about Gus.”

“Did he set some new record at the playground?” Brian guessed further.

“If you let me, I’ll tell you,” Justin replied. “It’s something that you have to know, so you’re just going to have to listen to me whether you like it or not.”

“Doesn’t sound very different to me from how it always is,” Brian retorted.

“OK, Kinney,” Justin gave up, “I’m going to call Ethan and have him tell you. I wanted him to tell you in the first place but he said I should do it. And get that grin off your face, Bri. This is not about me and Ethan. It’s about Gus and Ethan.”

“Actually, you’ve got my interest,” Brian announced. “Please continue.”

Justin had a wise remark he could have made but in the interest of getting his story told, he decided to forego it. “We didn’t spend the whole day at the playground, Bri,” Justin began. “Gus got bored after about an hour and we went looking for other things to do. We ended up stopping at Tom and Ethan’s.”

“Bet Gus had a lot of fun there,” Brian interjected.

“He did, Brian,” Justin ignored the pretended sarcasm. “Bet you don’t know what Gus’ favorite song is, Daddy?”

“Three Blind Mice,” Brian told him.

“I didn’t think you’d know that,” Justin reacted with surprise.

“He’s my son too,” Brian responded. “I think you and Mel and Linz sometimes think you’re his only parents. Well you’re not. I am a caring and doting father. Maybe not as caring and doting as you three, but I’m Brian Kinney, remember?”

“I never forget that,” Justin smiled at him and tousled his hair. “I don’t ever want to forget that. Not that you wouldn’t remind me if I did. Is it OK if I continue?”

“Nobody stopping you,” Brian pointed out.

“Well Gus sat down at Tom’s piano. You know how kids do,” Justin continued. “He just hammered a bit at the keys. It may have been the first time he ever saw a piano, Bri. Well in about three minutes, he was picking out ‘Three Blind Mice’ with no trouble at all.”

“I’m impressed,” Brian told him, “I really like ‘Three Blind Mice’ too,”

“I’m going to ignore you, Bri. That’s the only way to get this story finished,” Justin announced. “Anyhow, Tom sat down at the piano and played ‘Twinkle Twinkle Little Star’, and Gus played it right after him. We have a musical prodigy in the family, Brian. “What do you think of that?”

“And where would that come from?” Brian wanted to know. “I’m practically tone deaf, and Linz is even worse than I am.”

“You are not tone deaf, Bri,” Justin responded, “Maybe a bit musically challenged but not tone deaf. You like music, Bri. You’ve always liked music.”

“Well, you play the piano, Baby,” Brian suggested, “So maybe he got it from you.”

“And Melanie plays the violin,” Justin laughed, “But if Gus got his talent from us, Darwin will have to rethink evolution.”

“Melanie plays the violin?” Brian seemed surprised. “I’ve known her for ten years and I didn’t know she played the violin. And you did.”

“I guess they figured it would just be another thing for you to pick on Melanie about,” Justin laughed, “And maybe they decided what you didn’t know wouldn’t hurt them.”

“I never picked on Melanie,” Brian claimed.

“Of course not,” Justin had to laugh, “And you never pick on me either, B. K.”

“Brian let that slide. “I guess we’ll have to buy Gus a little piano,” Brian decided, “With little keys for his little fingers.”

“That’s not how it’s done, Bri,” Justin answered. “Tom and Ethan said he should have full-size keys but they thought an electronic keyboard would work.”

“OK,” Brian seemed enthused, “I’m glad you told me about this first. Let’s go get one.”

When Justin did not answer immediately, Brian figured it out. “I’m not the first one you told, am I?” he accused the kid. “Melanie and Linz are already out buying the keyboard, aren’t they?”

“Well I had to take Gus home, didn’t I?” Justin defended himself. “And Ethan went with me. Yeah, they’re getting the keyboard, and they’re also checking out the lady Tom suggested for a teacher.”

“No doubt they’ll come to me when it comes time to pay the teacher,” Brian pretended to grouse.

“All of which shows how important you are in this whole process,” Justin reminded him. “You’re not mad at me, are you, Bri?”

“You know I love you a lot,” Brian told him, “But yeah, I am mad at you. You should have told me first.”

“I’ll settle for you loving me a lot, Bri,” Justin said, as he cuddled closer to Brian.

It was a while before the conversation continued. “There’s just a little bit more about Gus, Bri,” Justin said. “Ethan thinks he should try violin lessons too. You know, that Suzuki method where they start kids out real young.”

“I thought Suzuki was a Japanese car,” Brian responded.

“Honey,” Justin laughed, “If you don’t handle their advertising, you don’t seem to have a clue about who does what. We didn’t tell Mel and Linz about the violin stuff because there was a time when you were dead set against violin music and I wanted to run it by you first.”

“It’s good to know you are still afraid of me,” Brian chortled, “So what are we supposed to do.’

“Of course I’m afraid of Mighty Brian Kinney,” Justin chortled back. “Everybody is. We’re supposed to check out this Suzuki teacher. But you’re right, Bri. Gus will need a miniature violin.”

“I’m glad I thought of that,” Brian smiled. “And I guess I’ll get to pay for the miniature violin too?”

“Of course, Honey,” Justin told him. “You’ll be in complete charge of Gus’ musical education, right up till we go to see him at Carnegie Hall.”

Brian was happy. He was glad to be in charge and make all the decisions.


	106. Chapter 106 - No Free Lunch

The guys were sitting in front of the fake fireplace. Brian had an enigmatic smile on his face and Justin was looking perplexed. 

“What do you mean you’re meeting Ethan for lunch tomorrow,” Justin complained, “You know I’m busy all day so I can’t go.  I guess you planned it that way.  How long have you known about this – leaving me out of the big lunch?”

 

“You won’t be missing lunch, Baby.  You just won’t be eating with Ethan and me,” Brian tried to explain.  “I’ve told you why we’re meeting.  Ethan is considering changing agents and he thinks I can help him decide what to do.  He has to make up his mind soon and he has a busy schedule and so do I.  I knew tomorrow was a bad day for you but it was the only day that worked.  You would have been mad if I had refused to talk to him.  I do know stuff about advertising and an agent is an advertiser.  I might just be able to help Ethan.”

 

“Well I would have liked to be there,” Justin maintained, “Maybe I could have helped too.”

 

“I’m sure you would have been a great help,” Brian cajoled, “And you know we would both love to have you, but the situation is some kind of emergency time-wise and that’s how it happened like it did.”

 

Brian noted the doubtful look on Justin’s face and decided to take the offensive.  “You wouldn’t be a little bit jealous, would you?” he asked the kid.

 

“Of you and Ethan, Bri,” Justin ridiculed the question.  “You and Ethan?  I’m not crazy, Sweetheart.”

 

“Well, you’re always telling me how hot I am,” Brian laughed, “And there was a time when you thought the same about Ethan so I don’t see why you think that’s so funny.”

 

Justin laughed at that logic and any tension seemed to abate.  “Cut it out, Bri.  You’re trying to change the subject, and I’m too smart for that,” he said.  “Just when did you make this date with Ethan anyhow and why didn’t I hear about it sooner?”

 

“We made the arrangements yesterday and I didn’t tell you because I was wondering if you might make a fuss about not being able to go,” Brian admitted, “So I wasn’t sure if I should inform you at all, but then I realized how mature you would be with the situation and  decided to tell you.  It’s actually a kind of business meeting and I don’t tell you about all my business meetings.  I just thought you’d be interested because it involved Ethan.”

 

“Which is exactly why I am interested.  My guy and one of my best friends having lunch together without me,” Justin groused.

 

“You are jealous,” Brian laughed.  “You always suspect that I don’t even like Ethan and when I try to help him, you’re jealous.  I am not going to succumb to Ethan’s charms and there is a Tom in the picture, you know.”

 

“I am not jealous,” Justin insisted.  “I just think it’s an odd arrangement.”

 

“Maybe so,” Brian told him, “But how many times do you and Michael, who is my best friend next to you, have lunch together without me when you’re working on _Rage_?  And you guys spend hours together doing that comic strip and do I get jealous?  It’s the same thing.”

  

“Well you did get jealous once, I remember,” Justin reminded him with an arch smile.

 

“Cut it out, Twink,” Brian warned him.  “If you find me and Ethan asleep on your bed, you can get as mad as you want, but until then, just chill.”

 

“OK, Honey,” Justin seemed to give in, “We will drop the subject and tomorrow evening you can tell me what went on.  Everything that went on, that is.”

 

They sat in contented silence for a while before the dropped subject arose again.  “You know, Brian, I’ll bet you could be Ethan’s agent yourself.   You’d be a great agent.  I’ll bet Ethan couldn’t do better anywhere.”

 

“And when I had to meet my client for lunch,” Brian laughed, “How would you react then?  But that might just be a great idea, Kiddo.  Then in a few years when you become a great artist and need an agent, I can be your agent too.”

 

“Maybe that wouldn’t be such a great idea after all, Brian,” Justin pondered, “You’re always bossing me around in my personal life.  Even though I really do love you, I don’t think I want you bossing me around in my professional life too.”

 

“Well, you are going to be a great artist.  I don’t have any doubt of that,” Brian responded with a smile, “But if you decide to change careers you certainly could make it as a comedian, with or without me as your agent.”

 

Justin just cuddled closer to Brian and didn’t respond.  Another period of silence ensued.  But that didn’t last forever either.

 

“Brian, Honey,” Justin resumed the discussion after a while, “Are you sure this meeting between you and Ethan is just about his agent.”

 

“As far as I know, that’s all it’s about,” Brian answered, “What the hell is going on in that crazy blond head of yours now?”

 

“Well,” Justin went on, “You know I have a birthday coming up in the near future.”

 

“Justin, Baby,” Brian laughed, “There are some things in this world that are not about you.  I know that’s hard to believe but it’s true.  Anyhow, the committee planning your big surprise birthday party has more members than just Ethan and me, and we keep all of our meetings a deep dark secret.  I never tell you about them so that you don’t suspect.”

 

“You’re making fun of me, Brian,” Justin protested.

 

“Yes I am, “ Brian replied, “And you deserve it.  You know I’m just trying to help Ethan, and you want me to help Ethan.  I’m sorry you can’t be there but things sometimes happen like that.  If you want me to cancel the lunch, I will, but I know that is not what you want.  So can’t we please drop the subject for now.”

 

“You’re the boss, Bri.  You know that.  Your word is my command,” Justin told him, “The subject is officially dropped.”

 

Brian wasn’t sure about that and he was right to wonder because a little while later, Justin ran his fingers through Brian’s hair and asked, “Brian, if I can work my schedule around, would I be welcome at your lunch tomorrow?”

 

“Of course you would,” Brian answered returning the hair tousling gesture, “If you can find out where and when we’re meeting>”

 

“You won’t tell me?” Justin asked.

 

“Not on a bet,” Brian told him.  “You’re not going to find out from me.  So there.”

 

Justin pushed closer to Brian, smiled at him and kissed him.  He had no expectation of  being free to lunch with Brian and Ethan the next day, but he was quite sure he could get that information if he wanted to.


	107. Chapter 107- Dinner for Four

Justin had eaten lunch with his mother.  Jennifer had called Brian later in the afternoon, so Brian knew what was bothering the kid all through dinner that evening.  Brian was glad she had.  He would have known that something was wrong, but since Jennifer had provided the specifics, he had time to think through the problem in advance.  He promised Jennifer he would try to help. 

Later in the evening, when they lit the fireplace, Justin cuddled up even closer to Brian than usual.  He didn’t say anything for a while and Brian decided to wait until Justin opened the discussion.

 

“I had lunch with my mother,” Justin told him finally.

 

“I knew that, Sunshine, and something must have gone wrong because you are not yourself tonight,” Brian responded.  “Wanna tell me what the problem is?”

 

“You know I always tell you everything,” Justin reminded him, “But this is really awful, Bri.  My mother is dating some guy.”

 

“Who did you think she’d be dating?” Brian smiled at him.

 

“Brian,” Justin complained, “Cut it out.  My mother is dating this guy, Walter, and she wants me to meet him, so it must be serious.  What if they decide to get married?”

 

“Your mother is a good-looking, smart woman, and she’s still young, Baby,” Brian reasoned.  “Your dad has been gone a while now and they were divorced before that, so what’s the problem with her dating, or even getting married.  It’s how life goes on.  You ought to be glad for her.”

 

“If anything happened to you, I wouldn’t go looking for somebody else,” Justin told Brian.

 

“But you might just meet somebody that you liked,” Brian answered, “And being with him might be what you need and what you want.  I hope you don’t think I would want you to be lonely.”

 

“I guess I wouldn’t want you to be lonely either, Bri.  But you’re not going anywhere,” Justin insisted.

 

“That we can’t know.  There’s cancer and heart attacks and accidents,” Brian told him.  “I don’t want to be morbid but those things do happen.”

 

“Forget that, Brian,” Justin cut him off, “We should go together when we go.”

 

“Well that attitude explains your driving,” Brian responded.  “I have been wondering about that.”

 

“Thanks for trying to cheer me up, Bri,” Justin smiled at him, “But I still have a problem with Walter.  Tell me what I should do.”

 

“You should do what your mother wants you to do,” Brian advised him.  “You should meet Walter.  He’s probably as afraid to meet you as you are to meet him.  If your mother likes him, he has to be a pretty nice guy.  You’ll probably like him too.  He’s not going to replace your dad.  There’s a lot of Craig in you and he did a good job.  Your mother was not wild about me, remember, but she stuck with you when you needed her, and I think she likes me a little now.”  

 

“Sometimes I think she likes you better than she likes me,” Justin faked a complaint.

 

“Well, I’m sure my mother likes you better than she likes me,” Brian countered, “So it was a good idea for them to get to know us.  What if your mother had never met me, and my mother had never met you?”

 

“But what if Walter doesn’t like us?” Justin wondered.

 

“He’s sure to like you,” Brian opined.  “Everybody likes you.  Maybe he’ll like me.  Some people do.”

 

“You know that’s not what I mean, Brian,” Justin moaned, “I mean what if he doesn’t like ‘us’?”

 

“Then we’ll have to deal with that, Kiddo,” Brian assured him, “And we will if we have to, but if your mother likes him, that’s the important thing.  We’ll get him to come around if we need to.”

 

“What if Mollie doesn’t like him, Bri?” Justin wondered.  “She’ll have to put up with Walter more than I would.  She’s still at home.”

 

“Honey, the wedding invitations are not going out yet,” Brian reasoned.  “So maybe you are getting just a little bit ahead of yourself on this.  Anyhow, Mollie likes Walter.”

 

“Wait a minute, Brian,” Justin countered, his face showing some surprise, “I didn’t tell you Mollie likes Walter.  I didn’t even know Mollie had met Walter.  I think you have some explaining to do yourself.  Did my mother talk to you?  I always knew she trusted you more than me.”

 

“OK, Baby, she did talk to me,” Brian admitted, “She called me this afternoon.  She was upset after your lunch too because she didn’t think you took the news too well.  She wondered what to do.  She even mentioned giving up on Walter if you were so much against it.”

 

“What did you tell her?” Justin asked with anxiety showing in his voice.

 

“I told her that I figured that you were just surprised by the news,” Brian told him.  “That you would want her to be happy and that you would not want to come between her and anybody she was interested in.”

 

“Did you tell her I’d meet Walter?” Justin wanted to know.

 

“I did,” Brian answered, “Because I knew you would want to.  Baby, she asked me to come along when you meet him, and I told her I would if you wanted me to.”

 

Justin did not answer immediately, but Brian was sure he knew what the kid would say because he knew the kid better than anybody else in the world.  And he was right.

 

“You told her exactly the right thing, Brian,” Justin finally said, “You know me so well that it scares me sometimes.  I think you know me better than I know myself.  Thanks for fixing this mess for me.  I don’t know what I was thinking.  And of course I want you to come along when I meet Walter.  Anything I have to do is easier if you’re there too.  So how do we handle this from here?”

 

“You just dial up your mother,” Brian replied,” And tell her that we checked your schedule and you are free next Tuesday so we will meet her and Walter at Gino’s as planned.”

 

“Geez, Brian, you handled everything.  Can I call her a little later though?” Justin asked.  “I just want to sit here for a while with you, if you don’t mind.”

 

Brian didn’t mind.  He never minded.

 

And they did sit there for a while until Justin broke the silence.  “Tuesday is all-you-can-eat spaghetti night at Gino’s, Bri,”  he said, “How am I going to make a good impression on Walter on all-you-can-eat spaghetti night?”

 

“You could show a little restraint,” Brian laughed.  “But that’s just a suggestion.”

 

And there was another period of silence with the guys happy to be snuggling together.

 

“Guess what Brian,” Justin finally decided, “I’m going to be myself at Gino’s next week. I’m going to eat as much as I want to.   I want Walter to get to know the real me.  Betcha you didn’t figure on that.”

 

“Betcha  I did,” Brian told him


	108. Chapter 108 - Bach and Forth

“Sorry I was out when you called this afternoon,” Brian told Justin as they assumed their positions on the floor of the loft facing the flickering flames in the fake fireplace. “By the time, I got your message, it was really too late to call you back. Cynthia said it had something to do with the symphony.”

“Yeah, it did,” Justin confirmed. “I was passing by Heinz Hall and noticed that there was an all-Bach program this Friday night and I wondered if you thought we should go. You know how I like Bach. And we haven’t been to the symphony for a while. Ethan even mentioned that last week. If I could have got you on the phone, I could have picked up the tickets right then.”

“I didn’t know you were such a big Bach fan,” Brian responded. “Is that Bach I hear when you have the earphones on and you’re listening so loud that I can hear it all over the loft? I didn’t think that was Bach. Maybe Bach wrote some stuff that I don’t know about.”

“OK, Kinney, that’s funny,” Justin laughed. “I think most of the stuff Bach wrote you don’t know about. So maybe it is Bach I’m listening to while you’re eavesdropping. Anyhow, how about the symphony on Friday? We could take Ethan and Tom up to Gino’s afterwards. It would be fun.”

“And all of this because you’re such a big Bach fan?” Brian wondered.

“What else?” Justin countered, snuggling closer to Brian. “Me and old Johann Sebastian just happen to hit it off pretty well. I hope you’re not jealous of J. S. Bach, Brian. He’s dead you know, and I’m sure he wasn’t my type at all – not like you are.”

“I don’t think he was your type at all either, Baby,” Brian laughed. “Didn’t he have about nineteen kids? And I have it on reliable sources that he never listened to music on earphones. But if you want to go to the symphony on Friday, it’s OK with me. I guess you did already pick up the tickets.”

“Well as a matter of fact, I did,” Justin admitted. “I was afraid it would be a sellout. But I could turn them in until Thursday so I wasn’t trying to push you into going or anything like that.”

“A sellout?” Brian wondered. “Bach must be pretty big in Pittsburgh.”

“Oh he is, Bri,” Justin enthused. “Everybody I know is crazy about Bach.”

“Then the symphony was dumb to make Friday night Johann Sebastian Bach bobble-head doll night,” Brian decided. “They wouldn’t have needed a promotion if they were going to sell out anyway. Not that a bobble-head doll promotion would be any help to attendance. People who like Bach don’t want bobble-head dolls.”

“How the hell did you know Friday night was Johann Sebastian Bach bobble-head doll night at the symphony, Bri?” Justin wanted to know. “You never know anything unless it has to do with advertising.”

“You’re missing something here, Honey,” Brian pointed out with a broad grin. “This is advertising. Bobble-head dolls are a kind of advertising. You know Joe Wintrow. He thought it up and the symphony board bought the idea. Joe asked me what I thought and I told him there wasn’t a soul in Pittsburgh dumb enough to go to the symphony because of a bobble-head doll give-away. I should have known you’d prove me wrong.”

“Yeah, I guess you should have,” Justin grinned back at him. “Seems like I’m always proving you wrong about something or other.”

“Well don’t get too overconfident, Sweetheart,” Brian warned the kid. “Just what do you plan to do with the Bach doll when you get it?”

“I’ll display it with my other ones over at Mikey’s comic book store,” Justin told him. “I know I’m not allowed to keep them in this state-of-the-art loft. Not that I don’t remember the fuss you made when Dr. Dave wouldn’t let Mikey display his comic book art in Dave’s modern mansion.”

“I’m not like Dr. Dave at all, Baby. You can keep your bobble-head dolls here if you want to,” Brian contended.

“Yeah,” Justin laughed, “As long as I kept them in a sealed box in the back of the closet, I guess I could keep them here.”

“I don’t think the box would have to be sealed,” Brian conceded. “The back of the closet would be enough, seems to me.”

“Thanks, Bri,” Justin said with a trace of sarcasm. “You’re all heart.”

It was time for the silent period, which the guys enjoyed so much. Justin had his head resting on Brian’s shoulder and he thought he felt Brian’s arm around him a little more firmly even than usual.

After a while, Justin returned to the previously discussed subject. “I don’t really need a bobble-head doll of Johann Sebastian Bach,” Justin told Brian. “I shouldn’t have tried to push you into going to the symphony. I’m going to take the tickets back. What do you think, Brian?”

“I think you should take the tickets back,” Brian replied. “Before Thursday.”

That response surprised Justin a bit. “Of course, before Thursday,” Justin agreed nevertheless. “Don’t I always do the right thing? I think maybe I’m glad we’re not going. I just might have been feeling a little guilty.”

“Don’t get too glad too soon, Baby,” Brian warned him. “We’re still going to the symphony on Friday. We’re just going to use the tickets I ordered when I heard about bobble-head doll night. We’re taking Melanie and Linz with us and we’re having pizza afterwards at Gino’s with them and Ethan and Tom – all the pizza you can eat.”

“Brian Kinney,” Justin told him. “Just when I think I couldn’t love you more than I do, you do something like this and prove me wrong. You’re always proving me wrong.”

”Serves you right,” Brian responded mockingly.

“I’m the luckiest kid in the world,” Justin cooed.

“Probably,” Brian smiled at him.

“This night is absolutely perfect, Brian,” Justin continued. “I couldn’t be happier.”

“Well there is one other thing, though,” Brian explained. “Joey Wintrow expects bobble-head dolls to go over big at the symphony so he had a couple of mock-ups dolls made for Johannes Brahms and Ludwig von Beethoven. If Bach works out, they’ll be coming up next season. I got him to give me advance copies so you’ll have all three B’s when you get the Bach doll on Friday.”

“You got me Brahms and Beethoven bobble-heads too,” Justin blurted out. “Where are they?”  
“In an unsealed box in the back of the closet,” Brian told him. “You can look at them later, before you take them over to the comic book store to display them.”

Justin was – on this rare occasion – speechless. So another period of silence ensued.

Justin didn’t ever stay speechless for long, so he finally broke the silence. “Brian,” he challenged, “There is no way you could love me as much as I love you.”

“Mind if I try to prove you wrong one more time?” Brian asked.


	109. Chapter 109 - It's a Mystery

“C.mon, Sunshine,” Brian called out. He was sitting in front of the fireplace impatiently waiting for the kid. Justin was at the computer table with a book in his hand.

“Just a minute, Bri,” Justin responded, “There are just a few pages left in this chapter.”

“Grr,” Brian muttered just loud enough to be heard, but with a smile on his face. It was only a short time until Justin dropped down beside him and pushed himself under Brian’s arm so as to get it around him.

“What’s all this reading about?” Brian challenged him, “And all this interest in murder mysteries?”

“Cut it out, Brian,” Justin defended himself. “You know I like to read, and I just discovered this new mystery writer, Agatha Christie.”

“New?” Brian asked for confirmation.

“New to me,” Justin explained. “I know she wrote long ago, maybe even about twenty years ago, but her books are new to me since I never read them before.”

“And you don’t have any better things to do?” Brian persisted. “And if you have to read, couldn’t you find something more valuable than murder mysteries?”

“Yeah?” Justin came back, “Well if there would be a murder in this building, I might have to solve it, and these books will help.”

“If there were a murder in this building, Baby,” Brian was still laughing, “You’re much more likely to be the victim than the detective.”

“If I were the victim,” Justin argued through a very wide grin, “They wouldn’t need a great detective. The police would arrest you right away, and no jury in the world would ever acquit you.”

“If I explained the way you act,” Brian countered, “I don’t see how they could convict me.”

“If I’m such a bad guy, how would you explain that you fell in love with me,” Justin questioned with some confidence, “And made me come and live with you in this loft? I guess I got you there.”

“You’re right, Twink,” Brian responded, “Insanity would be a much better plea. Thanks for helping me out.”

Justin could not come up with a quick reply to that, so he just nestled himself closer to Brian, figuring that such an action would distract him from pursuing his advantage. Justin’s strategy worked. At least for a while.

Brian eventually picked up the discussion. “Do you picture yourself as Mr. Marple or as Hercules Parrot?” he wondered.

“OK, Brian, Justin told him, “Scoff and deride if you want to. But how did you know about Miss Marple and Hercule Poirot if you didn’t read the books?”

“Maybe from the wonders of television,” Brian informed him, “But they’re mostly on PBS so you probably missed them since PBS only appeals to the intellectual.”

Justin however was now back in good form. “Well then, who told you about them?” he wanted to know.  
Now Brian found himself short of a snappy retort, so he cuddled the kid even closer, hoping to distract him from pursuing his advantage. Brian’s strategy worked. At least for a while.

“You know, Bri,” Justin picked up the conversation, “The book I’m reading now doesn’t have Miss Marple or Hercule Poirot. It’s called And Then There Were None and it is really scary. I only read it when you’re here.’

“That’s a good one, Kiddo,” Brian told him, “And they made a really good movie out of it way back in the 40’s. We’ll have to get it sometime soon and watch it.”

“That’s a good idea,” Justin agreed, “But not until I finish the book. The movie would ruin the ending for me.”

“Actually,” Brian told him, “It might not. Hollywood changed the ending so the movie doesn’t end the way the book does. But I’ll wait till you’re finished reading the book before I tell you how.”

“Hollywood is dumb, Brian,” Justin decided, “Why would Hollywood change the ending of an Agatha Christie story?”

“Maybe so the lovers could live happily ever after,” Brian informed him. “Don’t you think lovers should live happily ever after?”

“Oh yeah,” Justin replied with absolute certainty, “Lovers should always live happily ever after.”

It was a while later before Justin decided to tell Brian some, maybe unrelated, news. “Brian,” he began, “The reason I’m reading And Then There Were None is that when I told Malcolm that I was reading Agatha Christie, he suggested I read this one. I guess they made a play out of it and he’s thinking about doing it at the community theater in the fall. He wanted my opinion.”

“Yeah they did,” Brian remembered, “The play is called Ten Little Indians. I saw it ten years or so ago. It’s a pretty good play.”

“Do the lovers live happily ever after?” Justin asked him.

“They do,” Brian responded, intentionally misunderstanding the question, “If the one who has permanently retired from acting doesn’t get any pressure to be in it.”

“How can they live happily ever after,” Justin countered quizzically, “If one of them doesn’t trust the other one?”

“It’s a mystery, Sunshine,” Brian answered, “But I guess it’s possible. I hope so anyhow.”

“I’m sure they can,” Justin assured him, and Brian seemed convinced.

“There’s a good role in it for you though,” Brian pointed out to Justin. “After you finish the book, I wonder if you’ll know which part I think would be good for you.”

“It doesn’t matter which part, Bri,” Justin replied. “I already told Malcolm you wouldn’t be interested and, if you’re not in it, I’m not interested either. I don’t want to waste time away from you practicing any play. Mikey and Chuck might be in it though so we might have to go.”

“Put it on our calendar,” Brian jibed, “If you’re scheduling us that far ahead, and if you think we’re going to live happily at least till then.”

“You sound like you don’t know the meaning of happily ever after,” Justin complained.

“Well, if I don’t,” Brian said, “I think I’m going to get the chance to learn. I think I’d like that.”

“Me too,” Justin agreed, “Happily ever after sounds great to me.”

And they lived happily ever after for the next hour or so, both of them enjoying the silence and the darting flames in the fireplace.

“OK, Baby,” Brian finally decided, “Enough of this wasting time. You better get back to your book. You’ll never get it finished sitting here. Life must go on.”

“Life is going on,” Justin maintained, “There are better things than reading. What we’re doing now is not wasting time at all. Actually, it’s living happily ever after.”

“I think you may be on to something there, “ Brian agreed. “Sounds good to me.”


	110. Chapter 110 - A Valentine's day Massacre

A reader who is not familiar with the Chats should know a little about Abelard before reading this story:  
The main non-canonical characters in Chats are the Shellcoff brothers, Malcolm and Abelard. Malcolm goes to the institute where Justin studies. Malcolm is interested in dramatics. He is younger than Justin, and is also the older boyfriend to Hunter. Abelard is Malcolm’s younger brother, who plays football at Ohio State but is a frequent visitor to Pittsburgh. He does not seem to understand what is going on with B and J and Hunter and Malcolm, or even what is going on at Babylon. Abelard thinks that B is the greatest guy in the world, a real man’s man, and doesn’t understand why B is connected to J, all of which is a cause of some irritation to J, and a lot of amusement to B.

* * *

 

 

110 - A VALENTINE’S DAY MASSACRE

It was the Sunday evening before Valentine’s Day, the big day for lovers everywhere. The lovers who live in the loft were settling down in front of their fake fireplace. It was a custom for them and one they usually enjoyed. It had been an eventful weekend – very eventful indeed.

Justin, as was usually the case, opened the conversation. “I hate you, Brian Kinney,” he told Brian.

“Why then,” Brian replied, “Did you let me put my arm around you if you hate me?”

“So you’ll be defenseless if I decide to punch you right in the jaw or in that flabby stomach of yours,” Justin informed him.

“I guess I’ve done something to offend you then?” Brian surmised.

“Who the hell is Caroline?” Justin asked. “That would be my first question.”

“I guess Caroline would be the name of my girl friend,” Brian confessed, “That is, if I had a girl friend.”

“And so you told that lunkhead Abelard that you did have a girl friend,” Justin gritted his teeth, “And that her name is Caroline.”

“Not guilty,” Brian replied. “I never told Abe that I had a girl friend or that her name was Caroline.”

“Then did I not hear that moron tell you that he hoped Caroline liked the Valentine’s Day gift you got her?” Justin accused him.

“I guess maybe you did hear that,” Brian admitted. “He did say it, or at least something like that.”

“So Abelard made up Caroline, did he?” Justin fumed. “He just decided that you had a girl friend and that her name was Caroline.”

“Abelard is not as dumb as you think he is,” Brian said, “And he’s not really crazy either, Baby. Actually somebody told him that, but not me. All I did was not deny it.”

“Well who the hell told him that?” Justin complained, “And why didn’t you deny it? Are you going to tell me what the hell went on, or is going on, or whatever? Hating you is not fun, Brian.”

“Let’s start from the beginning then, Kiddo,” Brian told him, “And I expect you to listen to what I’m telling you. You knew Abelard wanted to come here and have me help him pick out a Valentine’s gift for his girl friend.”

“Yeah,” Justin giggled. “Betty Sue.”

“Cut it out, Twink,” Brian warned him, “Or we might end up with a St. Valentine’s Day massacre right here and right now. I asked you if you minded, and you said it was OK with you as long as you didn’t have to go along. So Abe drove in from Columbus Friday night. He stayed with Malcolm as you well know. Well he told Malcolm that since I was helping him pick a gift for Betty Sue, that maybe he could help me pick out a gift for my girl friend. He asked Malcolm what my girl friend’s name was. Malcolm knows how things are; he wasn’t going to tell him about us, so he just told Abe my girl friend’s name was Caroline. See?”

“I think I hate Malcolm too,” Justin allowed but there was a trace of a smile appearing on his face. “And what did you get Caroline, Honey. I hope it’s something I can use.”

“Abelard was thinking about something in the area of intimate apparel,” Brian smiled at him.

“Just because I’m laughing does not mean that I don’t still hate you, Kinney,” Justin told him, “Just maybe not as much as before. But I don’t need any intimate apparel.”

“No you don’t,” Brian confirmed with a half leer. “Or any other apparel either.”

“Flattery will get you nowhere,” Justin advised him, “But actually this story is getting interesting. Please continue.”

“Actually, the shopping was not much of a problem,” Brian told him. “I asked Abe about Betty Sue and we ended up buying her some of her favorite perfume, and a really nice red ski hat. What do you think?”

“I think,” Justin chortled, “That I hope Betty Sue’s tastes run with yours and Abelard’s.”

“And I think you’re mad because we got our shopping done with no help from you,” Brian pointed out. “I think what you’re mad about is that we showed you that we didn’t need you to come along and show us what to do.”

“Not at all, Sweetheart,” Justin came back, “I think you showed me that you did need me. It was selfish of me not to agree to go shopping with you. Did Abelard say anything about me while you were shopping?”

“I don’t remember,” Brian answered.

“Yes you do,” Justin insisted, “And now I know that yes, he did. So just tell me.”

“He said he didn’t figure that the useless cousin I have staying with me would have a girl friend,” Brian admitted. “I told him I didn’t think you did.”

“And you didn’t tell him about Olivia?” Justin laughed, “And Malcolm the fink didn’t tell him about Portia?”

“You’re having a good time with this whole thing, Baby,” Brian protested. “You can have a good time or you can hate me, but you can’t do both, so you’re going to have to pick one or the other.”

“You know how I like to have a good time,” Justin chose, letting his head fall onto Brian’s shoulder.

“Some time passed before the silence was broken. “You never told me what you got for Caroline,” Justin reopened the discussion.

“It’s not Valentine’s Day yet either,” Brian noted, “And so I’m not going to tell you. You’ll have to wait. I think it’s something you’ll like.”

“I know I will,” Justin agreed.

“How can you know that if you don’t know what it is?” Brian wanted to know.

“I don’t need to know what it is,” Justin explained. “I do know it’s coming from you so I know I will like it.”

“So you must not think my taste is so bad after all,” Brian gloated a bit.

“Don’t I always say you’re the absolute best shopper in the world,” Justin asked him.

“You do,” Brian answered, “If you think there’s something in it for you.”

“And is there something in it for me?” Justin querried.

“Maybe,” Brian told him, running his hand through the kid’s hair.

A little time passed before Justin came out with a prediction. “I think this is going to be our best Valentine’s Day ever, Brian. What do you think?”

“I don’t know,” Brian replied. “Could be that I’m a little bit mad at you.”

“What for?” Justin asked with surprise.

“Didn’t you say my stomach was flabby?” Brian accused him.

“Yeah, I did,” Justin admitted, “But I didn’t mean it, Honey. I’m sorry and I apologize. Your stomach is not the least bit flabby. Will you accept my apology?”

“Maybe,” Brian told him, but they both knew what the real answer was.


	111. Chapter 111 - Criticism

“Maybe I’ve been being too hard on you,” Brian was explaining to Justin as they got themselves settled in front of their fake fireplace early on a winter evening. “So I’ve decided to quit criticizing you entirely.”

“Then what will we talk about?” Justin wanted to know.

“We’ll have to think of something,” Brian maintained. “We always tell each other we can talk about anything.”

“Are we going to quit arguing too?” Justin asked.

“That would be a good idea,” Brian concluded. “We ought to quit arguing unless we really have something to argue about.”

“So we won’t quit arguing then, “ Justin posited.

“Maybe not,” Brian allowed, “But I am still going to quit criticizing you.”

“What if there’s something to criticize?” Justin said.

“I can’t think of anything about you that I’d ever want to criticize,” Brian insisted.

“And do I have to quit criticizing you?” Justin proceeded with the questioning.

“Baby,” Brian wanted to know, “What is there about me you’d want to criticize?”

“I can’t think of anything,” Justin admitted.

“Well there you have it,” Brian concluded, “No more criticism in this loft.”

“OK, I guess,” Justin replied.

“You don’t sound like you think this is a good idea.” Brian reacted.

“I hope you’re not criticizing me because I’m not sure this idea will work,” Justin responded.

“You’re beginning to sound as if you like it when I criticize you.” Brian decided. “But you’re always complaining because I pick on you.”

“Well I’m not really complaining that you’re picking on me,” Justin told him. “It’s more like I’m just pointing it out that you’re picking on me.”

“Isn’t that the same thing?” Brian asked.

“Not exactly, Bri,” Justin answered. “I don’t know if I want you to quit picking on me.”

“You don’t?” Brian wondered,

“No, I’m not sure that’s a good idea at all,” Justin came back

“I don’t get it,” Brian complained. “Sometimes I can’t figure you out.”

”Well, I learn from your criticism,” Justin told him, “And I sometimes learn from your picking on me too.”

“That’s interesting,” Brian decided, “So you profit from when I criticize you.”

“Not exactly profit, Brian,” Justin smiled. “I get the feeling that you mostly like to criticize me when I can do something better than you, so that’s how I learn what my strong points are.”

“Baby,” Brian laughed at him, “You’re deliberately making it hard for me to be nice. How can I not criticize when you pull something like that?”

“Well that’s just what I’m saying, Sweetheart,” Justin responded. “I wonder if you’ve thought this thing through.”

“That sounds like criticism to me,” Brian groused. “This is what I get for even trying to be nice.”

Justin put his head on Brian’s shoulder and Brian couldn’t think of anything to criticize about that. Brian squeezed Justin and Justin was not about to complain about that, so they sat together for a while, enjoying just being with each other.

“Baby,” Brian broke the silence, “Maybe I was wrong. If you want me to criticize you every once in a while, I guess I could find something to criticize.”

“Oh I’m sure you’ll think of something,” Justin said, “And I guess you’ll be picking on me too?”

“Kiddo, I never picked on you,” Brian replied, “But I know what you call picking on you and I can do that if you want me to.”

“Maybe that would be the best thing,” Justin agreed, and silence fell again on the loft.

After a while, Justin restarted the conversation. “Brian,” he wondered, “All this discussion about criticism. What made you think of it? It just seems like it came out of nowhere. We get along pretty well, don’t we? My mom and dad used to fight more than we do.”

“Yeah,” Brian told him. “We get along fine. I just want to make sure it stays that way.”

“C’mon, Brian,” Justin insisted. “There’s more. We can talk about anything.”

”Yeah,” Brian told him, “We can. Kinnetics got a new account. It’s some motivational stuff. One of their big things is how to get along with people. Their guy was in today and he was telling me that relationships where there’s a lot of criticism don’t last.”

“And you want ours to last?” Justin inferred.

“Yeah, I do.” Brian responded. “Don’t you?”

“That is so romantic, Bri,” Justin told him. “Of course I want ours to last. And it will. But haven’t you always said we have an unconventional relationship? So the regular rules don’t apply to us.”

“Well maybe some of them ought to,” Brian thought out loud.

“I don’t think you have anything to worry about,” Justin assured him.

“But don’t you ever worry even a little bit?” Brian wanted to know.

“Of course, that’s natural,” Justin replied. “Nobody would want to lose what we have.”

“So I guess we ought to leave well enough alone then,” Brian concluded.

“I really think that would be best,” Justin said in reply. And that settled that. The guys just sat there again for a little while, contentedly watching the flames flicker.

Finally Justin broke the silence. “Can I ask you something, Bri?’ he began. “You’re probably not going to want to do this but….”

“Geez, Sunshine,’ Brian interrupted. “Things were going so well. Sometimes you can be a real pain in the ass.”

“Guess what, Honey,’ Justin told him, “You’ll never know how glad I am to hear you say that.”


	112. Chapter 112 - Olden Days

Watching sixty and seventy year old movies was a favorite pastime for Brian. Doing anything with Brian was a favorite pastime for Justin, but he really did enjoy the old movies too. So every month or so they watched the DVD of one of those ancient films, always followed by some discussion.

They had just finished Meet Me in St. Louis as they were taking their places on the floor in front of the fake fireplace. “That was a pretty good movie, Bri,” Justin was saying as they settled in. “I always wondered where Dorothy went after she got back from Oz.”

“You do know that wasn’t Dorothy from Oz, I hope,” Brian replied. “It was Judy Garland. She played Dorothy in Wizard but this is an entirely different role. Judy Garland was a big star back then and she played in lots of movies.”

“Of course I know the difference. Do you think you’re talking to some moron, Honey?” Justin remarked. “Abelard isn’t here.”

“I wish you’d leave Abelard in Columbus,” Brian told him.

“And I wish you’d leave Abelard in Columbus too,” Justin laughed. “I’m most happy when Abelard’s in Columbus.”

“Well, I was just making sure,” Brian defended himself, returning to the subject at hand. “I don’t know how Judy Garland felt but there are some actors nowadays who go ballistic if the fans confuse them with the roles they play.”

“I think those actors must be paranoid, Bri,” Justin said. “Fans aren’t that crazy.”

“Guess not,” Brian agreed, “But that will never be our problem.”

“Nope,” Justin agreed. “That movie took place over a hundred years ago,” Justin marveled. “It’s kind of amazing. People were having fun a hundred years ago.”

“And people will be having fun a hundred years from now too,” Brian philosophized, “But not us, so we better have fun now.”

“Sometimes you’re hard to talk to, Brian,” Justin complained. “I bet we would have had fun if we would have been in St. Louis back then. We could have gone to the fair.”

“And at the fair, we could have seen demonstrations of that new fangled invention – electric light,” Brian pointed out, “And then gone home and turned on the gas lamps, or lit the candles.”

“I bet a lot of people back then just sat around in the dark looking at their fireplaces and talking,” Justin observed.

“Yeah,” Brian agreed. “Thank goodness we don’t have to do dumb stuff like that nowadays.”

“You’re funny, Brian,” Justin smiled as he delivered a light poke with his elbow to Brian’s ribs. “I hope the people who did that back then had easier people to talk to than I do.”

“Want me to find you somebody easier to talk to, so you can sit with him instead of me?” Brian offered.

“Nope,” Justin responded. “I kind of love the challenge I’ve got.”

“Anything else you love?” Brian wanted to know.

“Can’t think of anything?” Justin quipped.

“What about me, Baby?” Brian wondered.

“Geez, Brian,” Justin explained himself. “Who do you think is the challenge that I love?”

That seemed to please Brian. He didn’t seem to mind being a challenge. The conversation tailed off for a while then and the wordless communication took over.

“What are you laughing about Brian?” Justin broke the silence.

“I wasn’t laughing,” Brian replied.

“Maybe not outside,” Justin maintained, “But I could tell you were laughing on the inside and you were probably laughing at me.”

“Now who’s paranoid?” Brian remarked. “I’ll tell you what I was thinking about. I was thinking about the night we met. If you had been standing under a gas lamppost, I might not have even seen you. Then you would not have been able to transform me from the rat I was into the saint I am now. Maybe I was laughing inside, just a little bit.”

“But I would have seen you, Bri,” Justin told him. “You were what I was looking for and I knew it right away, and I would have known it no matter how dark it was. You would not have gotten away.”

Brian did not answer so Justin went on thinking out loud. “You know, Bri,” he said, “You’re not the only one who’s changed since that night. I was kind of a self-centered nasty brat back then, even though I was pretty nice, and cute.”

“And could you remind me just how you think you’ve changed?” Brian had to ask, earning himself another somewhat harder elbow to the ribs.

“You’re lucky I love you,” Justin told him, “And you’re lucky I’m so patient.”

“Yeah I am,” Brian agreed. “I’ve learned all my patience from you.” Justin snuggled up closer to him and Brian reached over to tousle the kid’s hair. So another quiet period ensued.

Justin resumed the discussion after the brief pause. “Are you old enough to remember street cars, Brian?” he wondered.

“Oh yeah,” Brian told him. “Those old horse-drawn cars used to clang, clang, clang past my house all the time, but we finally got rid of the horses before we got rid of the trolleys.”

“You’re making fun of me,” Justin complained. “How am I supposed to learn about the olden days if you won’t tell me?”

“You could ask Mikey,” Brian suggested. “He’s older than me.”

“It would serve you right if I did,” Justin threatened.

“It would serve him right too,” Brian came back.

“Oh so you’re also mad at Mikey,” Justin had to smile.

“Yeah, I am,” Brian cajoled. “He was supposed to be my friend. He should have saved me from you.”

“I think he did try to save me from you,” Justin responded.

“I think he did too, but Mikey had the whole situation wrong,” Brian pointed out. “He thought I would ruin you. He never figured how tough you were when you wanted something. I don’t guess anybody did. I sure didn’t.”

Then Brian noticed the look on Justin’s face. “Now I think you’re laughing at me. You are, aren’t you, Twink? You’re laughing at me.”

“Gee whiz, Brian,” Justin complained, “You must really think I’m still a nasty brat. Of course I’m not laughing at you.”

”Well, what are you doing inside that weird blond head of yours?” Brian asked.

“I’m just thinking about how much I like to think about those olden days,” Justin told him.


	113. Chapter 113 - Stand Up and Cheer

The guys had just situated themselves in front of their fake fireplace and had spent a few quiet minutes together. That was the way it usually was but Justin seemed to sense something out of the ordinary.

“Why are you looking at me like that, Bri?” the kid asked, with a little bit of uneasiness.

“Maybe just because I like to look at you,” Brian responded. “You know I like to look at you, don’t you?”

“Yeah, I guess I do,” Justin seemed to relax, “But is that why you’re looking at me like that right now?”

“Probably,” Brian allowed, “But it might be because of something that Mikey said to me when I talked with him on the telephone this afternoon.”

“I guess I do have something to tell you about, Brian,” Justin admitted, “And I was just getting ready to tell you but it’s no big thing. Was that maybe what Mikey said to you?”

“Maybe,” Brian told him. “Mikey said he was not to blame for what you are going to do. He said it was not his idea and that he did not encourage you, but that’s all he would say. Mikey said it was up to you to tell me.”

“Sometimes Mikey talks too much,” Justin laughed, “And maybe sometimes not enough. I wouldn’t say Mikey is to blame for it but I think he did encourage me. Yeah, I’m sure he encouraged me.”

“Well I don’t want to seem impatient but wouldn’t it be better if I knew what it is you’re going to do that Mikey is not to blame for even if he did encourage you?” Brian was laughing too. “Even if it is no big thing. I’ve lived with you for a couple of years now and I guess I’m ready for anything.”

“That’s what I love about you the most,” Justin told him, cuddling a little closer. “You’re always ready for anything. I really love that about you.”

“But I’m not ready for you to change the subject,” Brian groused playfully. “I’m always the last guy to find things out but I am now ready to find out what’s going on – right now, Twink. So talk.”

“Gee whiz, Brian,” Justin insisted. “It’s really nothing at all. I was over at the comic book shop this morning talking with Michael about Rage when Hunter and Malcolm came in. Malcolm is putting together a fund-raiser for a kid at school who is real sick. Well, this guy, Bernie Stein, was to do a stand-up comedy piece and he backed out. Malcolm asked me if I would take his place. I think Mikey and Hunter thought I could do it too.”

“You’re gonna be a stand-up comedian?” Brian responded. “That is funny. I’m laughing already.”

”You don’t think I could do stand-up comedy?” Justin wanted to know.

“Honey, you can do anything you put your mind to,” Brian assured him, “But I have never thought of you as a stand-up comic. I don’t think it fits your personality. On the other hand, I think Mikey might make a good stand-up comedian. He reminds me a lot of some comic on TV whose name I can’t remember.”

“I think I know the guy you mean,” Justin remembered. “He’s been in some movies too. He does kind of remind me of Mikey. Do you think he’s funny?”

“I don’t think so,” Brian told him, “But the audience always laughs. They know they’re supposed to laugh so they laugh. Most stand-up comedians are not very funny.”

“Well then it won’t be hard for me to be a success then,” Justin concluded, “If I don’t have to be funny. The audience will just laugh anyhow.”

“I hope so,” Brian told him. “You’ll be a gigantic pain if you think you didn’t do well. It’d be up to me to cheer you up and I’d surely try – not that I think it will be necessary.”

“Thanks for worrying about me,” Justin only half-joked. “I am a bit nervous about this and I’m not sure you’re making me any more confident.”

”Sorry, Baby,” Brian smiled at him. “Why don’t you tell me a joke to get in practice? I promise I’ll laugh.”

“OK,” Justin agreed, “There was this molecule who went to the Lost and Found Department. ‘I’ve lost an electron,’ he told the guy in charge. ‘Are you sure?’ the guy asked the molecule. ‘I’m positive,’ the molecule told the guy.”

“Well why aren’t you laughing?” Justin asked after a moment of silence.

“I’m laughing on the inside,” Brian assured him. “That’s a really funny joke but it just might be over the heads of your audience. You know, Baby, stand-up comics often make fun of their family and their relatives. I wonder how I’ll like that sitting in the audience if you tell some stories about me, not that they’d be true. Stand-up comics always invent a dysfunctional family.”

“You don’t need to come, Bri,” Justin replied definitely. “You don’t need to come. You would probably make me even more nervous if you were there. It might be better if you weren’t there.”

“You think I’m going to miss your first performance as a stand-up comic?” Brian insisted. “Then years from now when you’re a famous comedian, I’d always know I missed your first performance. Not a chance. You know Mikey will be there and probably the whole gang too. I’m going to be there for sure. But you know what. So that you won’t be so nervous, I’ll help you prepare. I’ll listen to your monologue lots of times before you give it in public. That way you won’t be nervous at all.”

“Geez, Brian.” Justin told him. “You’re making a bigger deal of this than I thought you would. I didn’t want to bother you with it at all. You’re too busy to be bothered.”

”I am never to busy to be involved in the activities of the twink I love,” Brian took his turn at cuddling closer. “So you can count on me to be with you every step of the way. Tell me another joke and I promise to laugh out loud at this one.”

“I don’t know any other jokes,” Justin replied. “I’ll have to go on the internet and find some.”

“That joke you told before was the only joke you know?” Brian wondered.

“It’s the only one I can think of off-hand,” Justin admitted. A period of silence followed. This was not uncommon but it lasted uncommonly long on this occasion.

“Brian,” Justin finally spoke up. “You don’t think I’m going to be all that good at stand-up comedy and you’re probably right. I’m going to call Bernie tomorrow and convince him to do the routine as planned.”

“Baby,” Brian answered, “I told you I thought you could do anything you put your mind to, and that’s what I think. You could do this if you want to and you’d do it well.”

“But it’s OK with you if I try to convince Bernie to go on, isn’t it?” Justin interrupted. “I think I can convince him.”

“Kiddo, I think you could convince anybody to do anything,” Brian assured him. “It’s your call on this. Whatever you want to do, I’m behind you.”

“That’s what I’m going to do then, Bri,” Justin decided. “I’m going to try to get Bernie back on board. That will suit Malcolm and everybody else involved. OK?”

“Well the world will lose a great stand-up comic but if that’s what you’ve decided, I think it’s fine,” Brian told him. “I just want you to be happy.”

“You know what, Bri,” Justin promised with enthusiasm, “You’ve been such a great help on this that I am going to start telling you lots of jokes. I am going to be your own private stand-up comedian. Nobody will know how funny I am but you. And I’m doing all that because I love you, Brian.”

“And I’m going to laugh at all those jokes too,” Brian smiled at him. “And I’ll be doing that because I love you, Jus.”

“Thanks, Bri,” Justin whispered as he snuggled his head against Brian’s shoulder. He was smiling too.

All of which put an end to the evening’s discussion.


	114. Chapter 114 - Leprechauns

The fire was lit. The guys were on the floor watching the flames dart. Brian had his arm around Justin and Justin had his head on Brian’s shoulder. All was well in the loft.

Brian had something to discuss. “I took a client out to lunch today,” he told the kid. “We went to Gino’s. Gino wanted to know if we were planning to come there for St. Patrick’s Day this year.”

”What did you tell him?” Justin wanted to know.

“I told him I’d like to but I’d have to ask you,” Brian replied.

“Brian, that makes me look like some bossy person who always has to have his own way,” Justin complained good-naturedly. “And get that smile off your face, you silly looking goof.”

“OK, Boss,” Brian cajoled. “Anything you say. Well, are we going to Gino’s for St. Patrick’s Day or not?”

“Actually, Brian Honey,” Justin informed him, “I think we’ll have to.”

“Which is the same as saying you want to,” Brian teased him.

“Oh no, Bri,” Justin went on, “Not because I want to. Because your friend Michael is having a little dinner party up there that night and we’re invited.”

“How do you know that?” Brian asked.

“Maybe because Michael and Ben told me,” Justin responded. “Wouldn’t you figure that’s how I’d know?”

“Well they didn’t tell me,” Brian groused. “I guess they didn’t think they needed to if they discussed it with the decision maker. And you didn’t tell me either.”

“Will you quit that, Brian?” Justin complained. “I just wanted to surprise you. I don’t know why you seem to want to get into an argument tonight, but you’re likely to succeed if you keep it up.”

“Maybe I just like arguments,” Brian posited.

“Well, just wait a while,” Justin informed him, “And the argument may come up all by itself.”

“There’s something I don’t know?” Brian surmised.

“Could be,” Justin told him. “But I’m going to tell you about it now if you’ll listen.”

“I’m all ears,” Brian suggested.

“You are not,” Justin maintained with a laugh. “There’s a lot more to you than ears. Anyhow, Gino is going to have live leprechauns up there this year.”

”Last year he had painted leprechauns that looked like us,” Brian remembered. “I hope you’re not going to tell me you’re going to be a leprechaun. I know you’re not going to tell me that I’m going to be a leprechaun because I don’t look at all like a leprechaun. Right?”

“Gee whiz, Bri,” Justin warned him. “Don’t go ballistic. Would I agree to be a leprechaun without asking your permission? You know darn well I wouldn’t. Malcolm and Hunter are going to be the leprechauns.”

“And Michael and Ben are having a party up there to celebrate that their son and his boy-friend are leprechauns?” Brian surmised.

“That’s part of it, Bri,” Justin confirmed, “But that’s not all of it. The Shellcoffs, Malcolm’s parents, are going to be in town and Mikey and Ben wanted to take them out anyway.”

Brian was smiling now. “Will any of the other Shellcoff children be there too?” he baited the twink.

“They’re not supposed to be,” Justin responded, “You won’t have to deal with Penelope or the twins. But I don’t trust Abelard. I wouldn’t be surprised if he shows up unannounced. If he does, I think it’s about time you told him about us.”

“What about us?” Brian joked.

OK, Kinney,” Justin declared. “You can joke about it as much as you want, but if Abelard comes, I’m going to get up right in the middle of dinner and kiss you. Even Abelard will get that message. And it won’t be me he’ll be asking. It’ll be you. So now you’re warned.”

“OK,” Brian said.

“Gee Brian,” Justin marveled. “I think I was expecting an argument. You’re OK with that.”

“Yeah,” Brian responded. That brought the conversation to a temporary halt. Justin was just a bit surprised at how easy he had made his point. He wondered if that discussion was over. It wasn’t.

“Baby,” Brian broke the silence. “I don’t want you to think I didn’t want to argue with you. You know how much I like to argue with you. But Abelard knows.”

“Abelard knows!” Justin choked out. “He knows. How does he know?”

“Actually, the last time he was in town I told him,” Brian revealed. “I thought it was time he knew. I’m not ashamed of you, Baby. Au contraire. I’m kind of proud of you.”

“I love your French, Sweetheart” Justin told him. “How did Abelard react to the news, though? I bet that was funny.”

“Nope,” Brian answered. “Abe said he knew just about from the beginning. He said he could tell by the way we looked at each other. Abe is not as dumb as we thought, or at least you thought.”

“Why didn’t he say something?” Justin wanted to know.

“He said he thought we’d eventually like to tell him so he decided to wait till we did,” Brian replied. “He wanted to give us the pleasure of telling him.”

“And all this time I thought I didn’t like Abelard,” Justin admitted. “And now I figure he must be a pretty nice guy.”

“You know what else?” Brian added. “I’m pretty sure he knows it was you who did all the Christmas shopping for him.”  
“Why do you think that?” Justin wondered.

“Because he said that Betty Sue didn’t seem to like the Valentine’s Day gift me and him picked out for her all that much.” Brian confessed. “Abe said we should have taken the useless cousin with us.”

“So I’m still going to be the useless cousin, am I?” Justin laughed.

“I think so,” Brian concurred. “Boyfriends are a dime a dozen but useless cousins are a rare treasure. Like gold at the end of a rainbow. That’s leprechaun talk.”

“OK,” Justin agreed, “As long as you don’t go out looking for another eleven boy-friends for your dime. Brian, as long as I’m being blamed for being so bossy, there’s something I want you to do, OK?”

“Does it matter if it’s OK with me or not?” Brian teased.

“Cut that out Kinney. I want you to call Abelard and tell him we really do want him to come for the holiday,” Justin said. “He’ll come if you ask him.”

“I know why you want him to come,” Brian came back. “You want an excuse to get up in the middle of dinner and kiss me.”

“You know what, Mr. Know It All,” Justin retorted, “I don’t need an excuse to get up and kiss you in the middle of dinner, or any other time either. And I think I’m going to practice up right now.”

”Practice makes perfect,” Brian told him.

They both thought they had found the gold at the end of the rainbow.


	115. Chapter 115 - Contagious

It was a couple of days after St. Patrick’s Day and the guys were getting themselves comfortable in front of the fake fireplace. The holiday had been very busy and very interesting. Justin had something on his mind, and Brian knew Justin had something on his mind. Brian also suspected that he knew what it was.

“Brian,” Justin began the discussion, “I have a question for you and I want a serious answer, OK?”

“You know, Baby,” Brian told him, “I’m pretty sure I know what you’re going to ask and I promise I won’t make a joke out of it, at least I’ll try not to make a joke out of it.”

“I don’t think you know what it is, Bri,” Justin challenged him.

“It’s about Abelard, isn’t it?” Brian hinted.

“Yeah,” Justin admitted, “But what do you think I want to ask about Abelard?”

“Cut it out, Twink,” Brian ordered. “You said you had something you wanted to ask me. So ask.”

“Do you think Abelard might be gay?” Justin came out with his question.

“Anybody might be gay,” Brian responded non-commitally. “What brings up that question?”

“Well I thought he and Chuck were making goo-goo eyes at each other a couple of times at the parties.” Justin told him. “Didn’t you notice anything at all?”

“Nope,” Brian replied. “I guess I was watching you most of the time to see if you were making goo-goo eyes at me. Not that I’m sure I’d know goo-goo eyes if I saw them”

“Now you’re trying to be funny,” Justin groaned. “I knew it was going to be hard to talk about this with you.”

“Mikey didn’t think it was so hard to talk to me about it,” Brian remarked off-handedly.

“You already talked to Mikey about this,” Justin objected, “And you didn’t say one word to me about it.”

“I guess I would have said something to you eventually,” Brian replied.

“OK, Kinney,” Justin smiled at him. “You’re not going to get me all riled up. What did Mikey say?”

“Well,” Brian told him, “Hunter told Mike and Ben that Chuck is going out to Ohio State next week-end. Abe invited him out to see the place.”

“Geez, Brian,” Justin seemed surprised. “Maybe Abelard is gay after all. If he is, he has good taste. Chuck is a nice guy and he’s about the best looking guy I’ve ever seen.”

“The best looking guy you’ve ever seen, eh?” Brian wondered.

“You never let me finish what I’m saying, Bri,” Justin laughed at him. “What I was trying to say was that he’s the best looking guy I’ve ever seen that I’m not in love with.”

“If I were you, Kid,” Brian warned him, “I’d try to make sure I finished all my sentences.”

“Oh I do try, Honey,” Justin consoled him. “But sometimes I get interrupted before I finish.”

“Well try harder,” Brian pretended to grouse.

“You have nothing to worry about at all,” Justin assured Brian. “I’m going to love you just as much as I do now, even when you’re old and gray. I’ll always be here. Didn’t I promise to try to make sure I finished all my sentences?”

“Sometimes I think you figure that I’m going to get old and you’re going to maintain your twinkship forever,” Brian told him. “You’re going to get old too. I’ll admit though I’ll probably age faster, because I have to put up with you.”

“Yeah,” Justin laughed, “And the pleasure of living with you will keep me young.” Then Justin returned to the subject at hand. “Do you think it’s contagious?” he asked Brian.

“What are you asking me?” Brian wanted to know. “Are you asking if Abe could have caught his gayness from us? Could you turn straight by being around straight people? If straightness isn’t contagious, neither is gayness.”

“Well Abelard always acted so macho,” Justin defended himself. “And he always called me your useless cousin. I guess, if he’s gay, he was just jealous.”

“Of whom?” Brian wondered.

“Of you, of course,” Justin decided. “You’re lucky to have somebody like me around.”

“Could it be you he was jealous of, for having me around?” Brian retaliated. “After all it was you who was the useless cousin, not me.”

“I don’t think so, Brian,” Justin stated firmly.

“Well,” Brian proposed, “You know how some hets do that wife swapping business. If Chuck and Abe get together, maybe we can manage a swap and see which one of us Abelard wants.”

“You better be kidding, Kinney,” Justin warned him. “It just could be that you’re getting me a little bit riled, so you better be kidding. I’m a one-guy guy and you’re that guy and you know it.”

“You could end up with Chuck,” Brian teased him, “And he’s the best looking guy you’ve ever seen.”

“That I’m not in love with, you dope,” Justin pushed himself closer into Brian. “I’d rather have you even if you weren’t as good looking as Chuck.”

“Geez, you say the most romantic things,” Brian remarked. That brought the conversation to one of those quiet periods which the guys liked so much.

“I think Abelard’s falling for Chuck,” Justin finally broke the silence, “And vice-versa. So I guess maybe Abe is really gay.”

“We liked him straight, Baby,” Brian said, “So I guess we’ll like him gay just as well. And we like Chuck too so they ought to make a neat couple, but we should just wait and see. What does Malcolm think? I’m pretty sure you talked to him about this before you said anything to me.”

“Malcolm said that Abelard wants him to start calling Chuck ‘Cousin Chuck,’” Justin revealed.

“Well why didn’t you tell me that in the first place?” Brian smiled at him as he tightened his grip on the kid.

After another quiet period, Brian looked at Justin. “You have a funny look in your eyes, Sunshine,” Brian told him. “Oh my gosh, they’re goo-goo eyes. You’re making goo-goo eyes at me, aren’t you?”

“Could be,” Justin admitted. “You know they say that goo-goo eyes are contagious.”


	116. Chapter 116 - Yours, Mine and Ours

Wednesday was usually a late day for Justin but with his last class cancelled that particular Wednesday he was a couple of hours early getting back to the loft. “Brian will be surprised,” he was thinking as he rode the elevator up to the proper floor, “If he’s already home.”

Brian was already home and he was very surprised as Justin came through the sliding door. Justin took a look at Brian and smiled. “You’re hiding something behind your back, Brian.” he accused his boyfriend. “I wonder what it could be?”

“Well I’m not going to show you,” Brian replied. “What the hell are you doing home so soon? This is your late day.”

“Well, I can guess what it is,” Justin told him, sticking to the subject as he saw it. “I’ll bet it’s a present. Probably an Easter present for me.”

“Close enough,” Brian answered. “Now hide your eyes while I put it somewhere.”

“OK, Honey,” Justin said. “I guess that’s fair. I’ll just start getting Gus’ Easter basket ready. Only four more days.”

“I think that’s a little early, Baby,” Brian advised him as Justin got a little closer.

“Hey, Bri,” Justin exclaimed. “Is that chocolate I see on your face? Brian Kinney, did you find the chocolate rabbit I had hidden to give you on Easter?”

“So you think this loft is Yellowstone Park,” Brian admitted. “Yeah, I found it. Thanks, Twink. A sugar-free, fat-free, fake-chocolate Easter rabbit. Neat.”

“Well you’re always watching calories and I knew you liked chocolate,” Justin defended himself. “That’s the best I could do. How much of it did you eat? Let me see.”

Justin kind of grabbed onto Brian jokingly and the chocolate rabbit came into view. It was Justin’s turn to be surprised. “Brian, that’s not your chocolate rabbit. That’s Gus’ chocolate rabbit – the one I got to put in his Easter basket. You ate Gus’ Easter rabbit.”

“Not all of it,” Brian corrected him. “I just ate around the bottom of it. You can still put it in the basket in all that fake grass and he’ll never know.”

“Brian Kinney,” Justin insisted. “That’s not like stealing candy from a baby. That is stealing candy from a baby and that’s terrible.”

“I’ll tell you what’s terrible,” Brian insisted back, “No-sugar, no-fat, no-chocolate, chocolate rabbits. Now that’s terrible. And technically, I didn’t steal any candy from a baby. You hadn’t given it to Gus yet so it was still yours, so even if I did steal it, it was you I stole it from.”

Justin just grinned as Brian rethought his statement. “You probably figure that even if I stole it from you, I was still stealing it from a baby,” Brian had to laugh. “But technically, we are a couple so what’s yours is mine and so I didn’t steal it at all.”

“We may be a couple, Bri,” Justin told him, “But we’re not legally married, and I don’t know if the yours and mine changes to ours just because we’re a couple.”

“Well, I feel enough like we’re married that I think it should,” Brian countered.

“OK. One point for Kinney. You’re well on your way to becoming a shyster lawyer, Honey,” Justin concluded. “But you won’t be able to argue away the flab around your waist. And you’re usually so careful. I hope you haven’t decided to let yourself go, Brian. You were always so careful.”

“I guess you won’t love me when I get old and flabby,” Brian complained.

“Yeah, I will,” Justin replied with a certain feigned lack of enthusiasm. “Till death do us part.”

“Well you should have known I was the kind who would steal candy from a baby, Kiddo,” Brian concluded. “You should have gone after Mikey. He was free then and he would never steal candy from a baby.”

“Yeah, you deceived me, Sweetheart,” Justin recalled. “I knew you were a selfish bastard who didn’t like anybody but Mikey and Linz and you still treated them like shit just like you treated everybody else. I knew you were addicted to drugs and booze and one-night stands, but you never let on that you’d steal candy from a baby till now, when I’m really stuck on you and it’s too late.”

“So now I guess you’re planning to steer me away from that life of crime?” Brian suggested.

“Bet on it,” Justin told him. And that finished the discussion – for then.

The subject came up again a few hours later, when the fireplace was lit and the guys were in position on the floor watching the fake flames darting to and fro.

“You’re not mad at me, Brian?” Justin asked Brian after the usual period of silence they observed upon sitting down.

“What for?” Brian asked him back.

“You know,” Justin continued. “For making such a fuss about you eating Gus’ rabbit. I can go out tomorrow and get another rabbit for Gus – even though it has to have pink eyes, a blue nose and white sprinkles on its head. But you are absolutely irreplaceable, Brian. I love you.”

“Well if you’re going to get Gus another chocolate rabbit, I guess I can have the rest of the one I started on,” Brian answered.

“Brian Kinney,” Justin complained. “I try to get romantic and you’re worried about a candy rabbit.”

“First things first,” Brian explained. “I want you around for a long time and that rabbit won’t last very long at all. There’ll be plenty of time for romance when that rabbit is history.”

While Justin was laughing, Brian reached under the couch and withdrew the already-nibbled-on rabbit that Gus would never see. “I’m going to eat a piece right now,’ Brian proclaimed.

“Well break off an ear and pass it over here, “ Justin told him.

“You want some of my rabbit?” Brian pretended shock.

“It’s not your rabbit,” Justin informed him. “It’s our rabbit. We’re a couple, remember, and what’s yours is mine. I got that straight from our resident shyster lawyer.”

“We’re not legally married though,” Brian protested.

“Well I feel enough like we’re married to get that ear,” Justin insisted. “So hand it over.”

“Baby,” Brian cajoled as they chewed on their chocolate. “If you’re going to get another of these rabbits for Gus, maybe you should get another one for us – notice I said us and not me.”

“Forget it, Kinney,” Justin replied. “When you put on a pound or two, it’s me who’ll have to listen to all the guff. You can finish this rabbit and then you still have that delicious other rabbit that I got for you in the first place. And I promise I won’t eat any of that one at all so you can have it all to yourself. How does that sound?”

“That sounds like we’re really married,” Brian groaned. “Are you positively sure we aren’t legally married?”

“Not legally,” Justin thought to himself as he rubbed his head against Brian’s cheek.


	117. Chapter 117 - No Foolin'

It was warm for April. The guys were glad they had the heat turned off in their fake fireplace. As much as they liked to talk in front of the flickering flames, they might not have enjoyed the warmth of the fire in the loft that time of year. There didn’t seem to be any special agenda for the evening and that suited them too. But….

They had just got themselves settled when Brian decided there was there was something he should call to Justin’s attention. “You have two unmatched socks on, Baby,” he informed the kid. “One’s red and one’s green. How the hell did you do that? It’s not Christmas you know.”

”Oh,” Justin responded disinterestedly, without checking Brian’s accuracy.

“Well, look at them,” Brian demanded. “They’re red and green.”

“If I looked at them, wouldn’t I be questioning your eyesight?” Justin asked. “I certainly don’t want to call attention to any of the old-age deterioration I might notice in you. If you say they’re red and green, then they must be red and green.”

“Well they are red and green and you look dopey in them,” Brian insisted. “Didn’t anybody else notice all day?”

“Could be that nobody else looks at me the way you do,” Justin smiled at him.

“I guess I hope that nobody else looks at you the way I do,” Brian smiled back at him. “But red and green socks are a bit out of the ordinary and I don’t think I could blame anybody for noticing that.”

“So unmatched socks are the only thing that might make anybody notice me, eh?” Justin seemed to complain.

“OK,” Brian gave up. “You just put them on to get a rise out of me and I guess you did get a rise out of me. So I’m just going to tell you that you must have another pair just like those, and forget about the whole thing.”

“And notice other things about me?” Justin suggested.

“What else is there about you to notice?” Brian wondered. “ It’s still not Christmas though.”

“It’s not Christmas, Bri,” Justin agreed, “But it is the first day of April, April first, that is. Doesn’t that ring a bell?”

“April Fool’s Day,” Brian thought he remembered. “Isn’t today April Fool’s Day?”

“I guess it is,” Justin allowed, “Not that I want to call attention to your failing memory.”

“And you put those socks on deliberately to irritate me,” Brian decided. “Well I’m not irritated, so there.”

“You know I think you’re the greatest guy in the world, and very worth-while irritating,” Justin informed him. “But I did not put these socks on just to irritate you. I put them on to irritate everybody.”

“Yeah,” Brian concluded. “You are an equal opportunity irritator. I know that. But what’s the point?”

“It’s something I learned from my third grade teacher, Bri,” Justin told him. “He used to do that every April Fool’s Day and when the kids told him about it, he just said he knew they were trying to get him to look down at his socks just to fool him, and he was too smart to fall for that. He drove the kids crazy.”  
“So you learned something in third grade, did you?” Brian joked. “Did you learn anything in the other grades or is that all you learned in school?”

“Gee whiz, Brian,” Justin complained. “You are a grouch. I know you used to ignore holidays but I really thought you were getting better about that.”

“Adults don’t do April Fool’s Day stuff,” Brian insisted.

“Oh yeah,” Justin defended himself. “Well Mikey thought it was a great idea. When I pulled it on him, he decided to wear two different socks too. And Mikey’s even older than you. So what do you say to that?”

“Adults don’t do April Fool’s stuff,” Brian repeated.

“I guess I should have expected that reaction,” Justin admitted. “I love you anyhow, even if you are always a grump.”

“I had a bad experience one April Fool’s Day, Baby,” Brian, with a far away look in his eyes, began his story. “I think I was in the third grade too. April Fool’s Day is big for third graders. Even grouchy ones. Anyway, I was on my way home from school for lunch. Way back then we walked home for lunch. Well there was this railroad about six blocks from our house. A train had derailed and some steers on their way to market escaped. I saw a couple walking down the street.”

“Gee,” Justin interjected enthusiastically. “That would be so neat.”

“Well, it wasn’t neat at all. “I hurried home and told my mother and she wouldn’t believe me. It was April Fool’s Day after all. Clare said it was the lamest April Fool’s Day joke she had ever heard. I told some of the neighbors too and nobody would believe me. It was the greatest thing that had ever happened to me and nobody would go out and look. I was really mad.”

“If I had been there, I would have gone out and looked,” Justin tried to console him.

“If I was really as grumpy as you say I am,” Brian posited, “I would say where were you when I needed you. But since you weren’t born yet back then, I guess you think you have an excuse.”

“I never make excuses,” Justin responded.

“I’ll try to remember that,” Brian laughed.

“If I were as grumpy as you,” Justin laughed back, “I’d say that with your failing memory, I figure I’m safe.”

“OK, don’t look at your socks and ruin your joke,” Brian said. “But would it ruin your joke to look at mine?” Justin did so and saw that one of Brian’s socks was blue and the other was green.” He looked at Brian, astounded.

“I noticed your socks this morning, Kiddo,” Brian revealed, “And with my alert, mature but still agile, mind, I figured out what was going on right away, so after you left I changed my socks. It works, Sunshine. Nearly drove Cynthia crazy. You have a diabolical little mind, Baby.”

“Not so little,” Justin rebutted. “Maybe diabolical though but I’m not in your league – yet. So maybe the joke’s on me this time. I guess I fell for you pretending to fall for my joke.”

“I’m just glad you fell for me at all,” Brian told him.  
“You can elaborate on that if you want to, Bri,” Justin encouraged him.

“OK, I guess I love you,” Brian told him. “Yeah, I’m sure I love you. I guess I should remind you of that more often than I do.”

“You can remind me any time you want to,” Justin purred. “And as often as you want to.”

“Well then let me also remind you that it’s still April Fool’s Day,” Brian responded with an unexpected reminder.

“I hate April Fool’s Day,” Justin decided. “I suppose all that ‘I love you’ business was just another big April Fool’s Day joke.”

“Maybe not,” Brian told him, “But just to be safe, you might want to check with me tomorrow.”


	118. Chapter 118 - Who's Grumpy

They sat down in front of their fake fireplace as they often did.  Brian put his arm around Justin and Justin had his head on Brian’s shoulder as usual.  Everything seemed normal but it wasn’t.  Justin had a job to do and he wasn’t sure about how to proceed. 

Brian helped him out by starting the discussion,  “There’s something wrong, Baby.  Something’s bothering you.  You feel different tonight, like a little bit tense or something.  Can I help?”

 

“No, it’s OK,” Justin replied, not very convincingly.

 

“No, it’s not,” Brian insisted.  “I’m pulling rank on you.  Talk.”

 

“You won’t get mad?” Justin wanted to make sure.

 

“I don’t get mad at you,” Brian assured him,  “I think you know that.  If there’s anything I can do to help, I want to. You ought to know that too.  I’m not going to drop this till you tell me what’s the matter so you may as well just let it out.”

 

“This is hard for me, Bri,” Justin pleaded.  “I don’t want to do it.”  
  
”Just do it, Kid,” Brian reiterated, “There isn’t anything we can’t talk about.”

 

“Brian, Honey,” Justin reluctantly told him, “You’ve been pretty grouchy the last few days.”

 

“Me, grumpy,” Brian couldn’t believe his ears.  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

 

“Not grumpy, Bri,” Justin explained.  “Grumpy is what you always are.  It’s your way of dealing with the world.  That’s not a problem.  I can deal with that.  I actually think that’s one of your most lovable traits.  Grouchy is when something happens that you don’t like and you’re stuck with it.”

 

“I think the dictionary will tell you grouchy and grumpy mean the same thing,” Brian insisted.

 

“Well they don’t to me,” Justin insisted back.  “I know the difference.’

 

“OK, Dr. Justin T. Freud,” Brian responded, “I guess you already know why I’m grouchy, or should I lie down on the couch.”

 

“Lie down on the couch any time you want to, Honey, or on the floor if you’d rather,” Justin grinned a semi- leer. “But, of course, I already know why you’re grouchy.  You’re grouchy because Cynthia is getting engaged.”

 

“Why the hell should I be grouchy because Cynthia is getting engaged?” Brian wanted to know.  “I don’t see any reason why she shouldn’t get engaged.”

 

“That’s exactly what’s making you grouchy, Honey,” Justin reasoned.  “You love Cynthia and you want her to be happy, and you want to be happy for her.  But you think of Cynthia as part of the office too.  And she is.  And she’s loyal to you .  She went with you when you left Vanguard to start Kinnetics.  She’s an important part of your operation, and you want her to stay, but she’s not leaving, Bri.  She’ll still be there.  Still, she has a life outside the office too, just like you do.  That doesn’t mean she’ll be less help to you.”

 

“I have a life outside of the office?” Brian mused.

 

“A few comments like that and maybe you won’t,” Justin told him laughingly, “You’re not the only guy in the world who can get grouchy.  You do have a life away from the office, Brian Kinney.  You don’t sleep there.”

 

“But I could if I had to,” Brian pointed out.

 

“And you may have to if you don’t quit being so grouchy,” Justin pointed out in return.

 

Brian laughed at him.  “You know, maybe that engagement stuff has been bothering me a little bit,” he admitted.  “You know I do love Cynthia and I want her to be happy, but I just never thought of her as getting married.  I just wonder how it will affect the operation of the office.  But I still don’t think I’ve been the least bit grouchy.”

 

“Well you have,” Justin explained.  “I was talking to Cynthia today and she says you’ve been biting off the heads of all the people in the office, and Mikey wanted to know if I had done something to you because you were kind of short with him on the phone when he called you this morning.”

 

“Why does everybody have to talk to you when they think there’s something the matter with me?” Brian complained.  “Don’t I have ears?”

 

“Sweetheart, you are not easy to talk to when you’re grouchy,” Justin said, “People are afraid of you.”

 

“You aren’t afraid of me though,” Brian smiled at the twink.

 

“Yeah, I am too,” Justin responded, “But I love you and I think you love me, and like you said, you never get mad at me.”

 

“Well I’m gonna get Cynthia to remind me to get mad at you once a week at least,” Brian laughed, “I don’t like the idea that you might not be afraid of me like everybody else.”

 

Justin felt relieved.  He thought the worst was over and it was.  “You can try, Mr. Kinney, but I’m pretty tough, and confidentially, I think I’ve got your number,” Justin told him.

 

“OK,” Brian challenged him, “If you know so much, what do I do to get over these mixed feelings that are supposed to be making me grouchy?  You always have some plan.  What is it this time?”

 

“Well,” Justin conjectured, “I think you’d feel better if you met Harold.  If Cynthia is going to marry him, he’s probably pretty nice, and I think you’ll feel a lot better about the engagement if you get to know him.”

 

“That’s what you think, eh?” Brian echoed.

 

“That’s what I think,” Justin responded, “But the final decision is up to you like it always is.”

 

Always up to me?” Brian said, “Like I guess I get to choose the night we take them to Gino’s?   Right?”

 

“Actually Cynthia and I were hoping you’d pick Wednesday,” Justin told him.

 

“Did you order for me already?” Brian laughed, “Or will I get to pick what I want to eat?”

 

“Geez, Bri,” Justin complained.  “You’re always trying to make it look like I make decisions for you, and you know darn well I don’t.”  
  
”When I do that, am I being grouchy or am I being grumpy?” Brian wanted to know.

 

“That’s grumpy, Brian,” Justin informed him.  “You’re always like that.”

 

The conversation tailed off and all was well in front of the blazing flitting fake flames.  Brian could feel the tension ebbing in Justin’s body, and he was feeling better himself.

 

“Baby,” Brian eventually asked Justin, “Do you think it’s OK to be scared of somebody you really love?”

 

“I can’t help it, Bri,” Justin responded just a bit defensively.  “That’s how I am.  That doesn’t make me love you any less.”

 

“You know,” Brian concluded, “I’m glad that’s your answer, because sometimes you scare me to death.”  


	119. Chapter 119 - Let's Dance

“I have made a big mistake,” Brian was thinking to himself as the guys were settling themselves in front of the fake fireplace.  If the look on Brian’s face portended disaster, the look on Justin’s was the complete opposite.  Justin was humming _Night and Day_ and wore a big smile.  Brian didn’t make many mistakes but he felt sure this was a big one.  He figured he would just have to face the music – and maybe, dance. 

This was another of their periodic “old movie nights”.  Brian always chose the film to watch because he was an expert on old movies.  He wondered about _The Gay Divorcee_ before he picked it off the rack.  He thought it might be too old-fashioned for Justin.  Brian himself was a Fred Astaire-Ginger Rogers fan but he wondered how Justin would take to the famous dancing team.  He smiled at the title though and wondered if Justin would be looking for the divorcee who was “gay” in the more modern sense of the word.  He wasn’t sure of his choice but decided it was worth a try.  What eventually happened never crossed Brian’s mind until he thought he saw stars in the kid’s eyes as they watched.  He hoped he had misinterpreted the meaning.  He hadn’t.

 

Brian took the bull by the horns.  “There’s something you want to say, isn’t there?” he attacked the situation.

 

“I want to say that was a great movie,” Justin responded.  “If those two made any others, I’d like to see them sometime.”

 

“They did,” Brian said.  “Ten or eleven altogether.  We’ll get another one soon.”

 

“You didn’t think that movie was going to be about gay people, did you, Bri?” Justin asked him.

 

“No,” Brian laughed, “But I thought you might.” 

 

“Geez, Brian,” Justin objected.  “You must think I’m pretty dumb.  I know they used the word ‘gay’ for all happy people before they knew how really happy us ‘gay’ people are.”

 

“Yeah,” Brian agreed, “But they learned.  Now nobody is ‘gay’ but us, no matter how happy they are.”

 

Brian liked the way the discussion was proceeding.  He began to think there was hope.  No such luck.  After a brief pause in the conversation, Justin spoke the anticipated words.  “Let’s dance,” he said.

 

“Now?” Brian replied.  “We won’t look very good dancing after Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers.”

 

“But we could get better,” Justin told him.  “I like that ballroom dancing stuff.  The dancers get real close together.”  
  
”We get close together when we dance,” Brian responded. “You hang all over me, and sometimes I even pick you up.”

 

“But their dancing is so romantic,” Justin continued.

 

“Wasn’t our dance at your prom ‘ridiculously romantic’?” Brian reminded him.  “And what about our dance at the Pride festival?  I thought that was romantic and so did you.”

 

“And then there was that dance at Babylon,” Justin teased, “When I stole your two guys from you and….”

 

“Forget it, Baby,” Brian interrupted.  “We all have our moments of weakness.  I’ve forgotten all about that.”

 

“I haven’t,” Justin persisted.

 

“And you never will,” Brian concluded.

 

“Well I’d like us to dance sometimes like Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers,” Justin went back to the subject.

 

“You’re never going to be Fred Astaire,” Brian pointed out to him.

 

“I wasn’t thinking of myself for Fred Astaire, Bri,” Justin responded.  “I was kind of thinking of you for Fred Astaire.  You’re not all that clumsy.”

 

“Thanks, Twink,” Brian mocked, “And I guess you see little old awkward you as Ginger Rogers.”

 

“Maybe,” Justin allowed, “And I don’t think snide remarks are required if this is going to be an argument.”

 

“Well then,” Brian laughed.  “Clumsy me apologizes to awkward you for any insult which might have been taken.”

 

“Apology accepted,” Justin laughed back at him.  “But don’t you want to try ballroom dancing, Bri?  I think it would be a lot of fun.  Melanie and Lindsay both know something about it.  I bet they’d be glad to teach us.”

 

“I don’t want to learn dancing from any females,” Brian told him.  “Females all dance funny.”

 

“Well then there’s Steve from school,” Justin suggested.  “He even enters ballroom competitions with his partner, Margo.  Steve’s gay so he might be the perfect one to show us how it’s done.”

 

“What’s he doing dancing with Margo then?” Brian wanted to know.

 

“Actually, Bri, I don’t think ballroom dancing competitions are ready yet for gay couples,” Justin informed him.

 

“Well that’s a hell of a relief,” Brian responded.

 

“But maybe soon,” Justin continued.  “And I think _The Continental_ would work well for us.”

 

“You have to ruin everything, don’t you,” Brian smiled at him.

 

“I could get Steve to come over here and teach us some steps,” Justin offered.

 

“I don’t know,” Brian responded.

 

“I don’t call that a very strong argument,” Justin challenged him.

 

“Well I’d rather Steve taught you the steps at school,” Brian rephrased his response, “And then you could teach me here.”

 

“Wouldn’t it be easier if he came over here and taught us both at the same time?” Justin answered.  “Seems to me that would be a lot easier.”

 

“Yeah,” Brian countered, “But if our dancing got really romantic, we’d have Steve here.”

 

“Now that seems to me to be a very strong argument, Brian,” Justin agreed.  “You are a good arguer when you put your mind to it.  We could try it your way if that’s OK with you.”

 

“You know if you want anything that won’t kill you – or maybe me,” Brian told him, “That it’s going to be OK with me.  But do you mind if I kind of hope this is just a passing fancy of yours and that you’ll give up after you trip yourself a couple of times with your fancy footwork?”

 

“I have no problem with that,” Justin told him.  “I don’t know why you’d think I might trip myself though.  I’m not going to try the big Astaire moves.  Just the little ones.”  
  
”I can hope that will be enough, can’t I?” Brian smiled at him.  Actually, Brian was kind of satisfied with how things had worked out.  It could have been worse.

 

He forgot even those doubts a minute or so later when Justin began to croon in his ear.

 

“Night and day, you are the one.

 Only you beneath the moon and under the sun.”

 

Maybe the whole damn thing had not been such a mistake after all.  “Wanna dance?” he asked the kid.


	120. Chapter 120 - Vice Versa

They sat down in front of their fake fireplace as they often did. Brian put his arm around Justin and Justin had his head on Brian’s shoulder as usual. Everything seemed normal but it wasn’t. Justin had a job to do and he wasn’t sure about how to proceed.

Brian helped him out by starting the discussion, “There’s something wrong, Baby. Something’s bothering you. You feel different tonight, like a little bit tense or something. Can I help?”

“No, it’s OK,” Justin replied, not very convincingly.

“No, it’s not,” Brian insisted. “I’m pulling rank on you. Talk.”

“You won’t get mad?” Justin wanted to make sure.

“I don’t get mad at you,” Brian assured him, “I think you know that. If there’s anything I can do to help, I want to. You ought to know that too. I’m not going to drop this till you tell me what’s the matter so you may as well just let it out.”

“This is hard for me, Bri,” Justin pleaded. “I don’t want to do it.”

”Just do it, Kid,” Brian reiterated, “There isn’t anything we can’t talk about.”

“Brian, Honey,” Justin reluctantly told him, “You’ve been pretty grouchy the last few days.”

“Me, grumpy,” Brian couldn’t believe his ears. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Not grumpy, Bri,” Justin explained. “Grumpy is what you always are. It’s your way of dealing with the world. That’s not a problem. I can deal with that. I actually think that’s one of your most lovable traits. Grouchy is when something happens that you don’t like and you’re stuck with it.”

“I think the dictionary will tell you grouchy and grumpy mean the same thing,” Brian insisted.

“Well they don’t to me,” Justin insisted back. “I know the difference.’

“OK, Dr. Justin T. Freud,” Brian responded, “I guess you already know why I’m grouchy, or should I lie down on the couch.”

“Lie down on the couch any time you want to, Honey, or on the floor if you’d rather,” Justin grinned a semi- leer. “But, of course, I already know why you’re grouchy. You’re grouchy because Cynthia is getting engaged.”

“Why the hell should I be grouchy because Cynthia is getting engaged?” Brian wanted to know. “I don’t see any reason why she shouldn’t get engaged.”

“That’s exactly what’s making you grouchy, Honey,” Justin reasoned. “You love Cynthia and you want her to be happy, and you want to be happy for her. But you think of Cynthia as part of the office too. And she is. And she’s loyal to you . She went with you when you left Vanguard to start Kinnetics. She’s an important part of your operation, and you want her to stay, but she’s not leaving, Bri. She’ll still be there. Still, she has a life outside the office too, just like you do. That doesn’t mean she’ll be less help to you.”

“I have a life outside of the office?” Brian mused.

“A few comments like that and maybe you won’t,” Justin told him laughingly, “You’re not the only guy in the world who can get grouchy. You do have a life away from the office, Brian Kinney. You don’t sleep there.”

“But I could if I had to,” Brian pointed out.

“And you may have to if you don’t quit being so grouchy,” Justin pointed out in return.

Brian laughed at him. “You know, maybe that engagement stuff has been bothering me a little bit,” he admitted. “You know I do love Cynthia and I want her to be happy, but I just never thought of her as getting married. I just wonder how it will affect the operation of the office. But I still don’t think I’ve been the least bit grouchy.”

“Well you have,” Justin explained. “I was talking to Cynthia today and she says you’ve been biting off the heads of all the people in the office, and Mikey wanted to know if I had done something to you because you were kind of short with him on the phone when he called you this morning.”

“Why does everybody have to talk to you when they think there’s something the matter with me?” Brian complained. “Don’t I have ears?”

“Sweetheart, you are not easy to talk to when you’re grouchy,” Justin said, “People are afraid of you.”

“You aren’t afraid of me though,” Brian smiled at the twink.

“Yeah, I am too,” Justin responded, “But I love you and I think you love me, and like you said, you never get mad at me.”

“Well I’m gonna get Cynthia to remind me to get mad at you once a week at least,” Brian laughed, “I don’t like the idea that you might not be afraid of me like everybody else.”

Justin felt relieved. He thought the worst was over and it was. “You can try, Mr. Kinney, but I’m pretty tough, and confidentially, I think I’ve got your number,” Justin told him.

“OK,” Brian challenged him, “If you know so much, what do I do to get over these mixed feelings that are supposed to be making me grouchy? You always have some plan. What is it this time?”

“Well,” Justin conjectured, “I think you’d feel better if you met Harold. If Cynthia is going to marry him, he’s probably pretty nice, and I think you’ll feel a lot better about the engagement if you get to know him.”

“That’s what you think, eh?” Brian echoed.

“That’s what I think,” Justin responded, “But the final decision is up to you like it always is.”

Always up to me?” Brian said, “Like I guess I get to choose the night we take them to Gino’s? Right?”

“Actually Cynthia and I were hoping you’d pick Wednesday,” Justin told him.

“Did you order for me already?” Brian laughed, “Or will I get to pick what I want to eat?”

“Geez, Bri,” Justin complained. “You’re always trying to make it look like I make decisions for you, and you know darn well I don’t.”

”When I do that, am I being grouchy or am I being grumpy?” Brian wanted to know.

“That’s grumpy, Brian,” Justin informed him. “You’re always like that.”

The conversation tailed off and all was well in front of the blazing flitting fake flames. Brian could feel the tension ebbing in Justin’s body, and he was feeling better himself.

“Baby,” Brian eventually asked Justin, “Do you think it’s OK to be scared of somebody you really love?”

“I can’t help it, Bri,” Justin responded just a bit defensively. “That’s how I am. That doesn’t make me love you any less.”

“You know,” Brian concluded, “I’m glad that’s your answer, because sometimes you scare me to death.”


	121. Chapter 121 - No Tricks

Brian and Justin had been having a “minor” disagreement as they sat down in front of their fake fireplace. As usual, the fire was flitting to and fro but Brian did not put his arm around Justin and Justin did not lay his head on Brian’s shoulder.

“I think maybe I’m going to put my foot down on this,” Brian growled in continuation of the dispute.

“I can’t understand why you are being so difficult Brian,” Justin protested. “I’m an adult so I ought to be able to make my own decisions.”

“Well I’m a more experienced adult than you are,” Brian protested back, “And sometimes I don’t get to make my own decisions around here – not since you moved in anyhow.”

“That’s a mean thing to say, Brian,” Justin complained.

“Yeah, it is,” Brian admitted, finally encircling the kid with his arm. “But can you honestly say it isn’t true?  
I think you know it’s true.”

“Well it might be true some of the time,” Justin replied, “But you don’t seem to mind.”

“I guess I don’t mind,” Brian told him. “But this is something that I do mind. I want you safe. I want you around for a long time.”

Justin’s head slipped onto Brian’s shoulder and he smiled just a little bit. “I’ve heard that before, I think,” he said to Brian.

“And you’ll hear it again when I think you want to do something dumb,” Brian warned him.

“That’s why I only do dumb things when you’re not around, Honey,” Justin responded with a laugh. “I don’t want you to worry about me.”

“Well that’s where we are completely different,” Brian laughed too. “I only do dumb things when you are around.”

“That’s kind of a romantic thing to say, Bri,” Justin purred.

“Maybe,” Brian allowed. “But if you think you’re going to get my mind off this subject before we get it settled, you may be disappointed. I saw you doing tricks on that damn skateboard when I came to pick you up at school this afternoon and that took me right out of any romantic mood I might have been in.”

“Well if you hadn’t come twenty minutes early, you wouldn’t have seen anything at all,” Justin objected. “How come you were that early? I bet you were spying on me.”

“Nope. I didn’t know I had any reason to spy on you. I think it was because I was looking forward to seeing you,” Brian corrected him. “That’s why I was early.”

“Now who’s using romance to get his own way,” Justin argued. “It’s Malcolm’s skateboard. I don’t even own a skateboard. And Malcolm does a lot crazier tricks than I do on it.”

“I have a feeling though that maybe you were thinking about a skateboard of your own,” Brian guessed. “Or am I wrong?”

“I was thinking about maybe getting one of my own, I guess,” Justin told him.

“And were you thinking of telling me about it?” Brian asked.

“Of course I was going to tell you about it?” Justin protested.

“How long after you got it?” Brian wanted to know.

“Geez, Bri,” Justin complained. “You are getting really tough about this. Lots of the kids have them. Hardly anybody gets hurt.”

“I don’t want to see anybody get hurt, Baby,” Brian pointed out, “But maybe you don’t know you’re kind of special to me. I really don’t want to see you get hurt.”

“Skateboards can be pretty safe, Brian,” Justin insisted,

“I guess they can be safe,” Brian said. “I see those competitions on TV but the skaters are wearing helmets and pads and they’re on a special course. That isn’t what you had in mind though?”

“It started out just as a quick way to get around campus, Brian,” Justin confessed. “I borrowed Malcolm’s a couple of times. The tricks and stuff came later.”

“I can see where it would be a help getting around the campus,” Brian allowed, “But the idea still scares me. If you’ll promise me to take real good care of yourself, maybe it would be OK. I don’t like the idea though.”

“Brian, I’m not some teenaged twink any more,” Justin said. “You ought to be able to trust me. And I ought to be able to make my own decision about skateboards.”

“No, you’re not really a twink any more,” Brian admitted. “You’re right, I know. Somehow though I think you may always be a twink to me. I figure if you really want the skateboard I shouldn’t be such a wet blanket. You know, Baby, when you buy your skateboard, buy me one too. I’m too old for the tricks but maybe we could go skateboarding together sometimes.”

“Brian, you’re trying to scare me now,” Justin protested. “I don’t want you falling off some crazy skateboard and you know it. You’re actually threatening me that if I get a skateboard, I’ll have to worry about you all the time.”

“Would you worry about me all the time?” Brian asked.

“I think I worry about you all the time already,” Justin told him. “That’s how it is when you lover somebody.”

“Yeah, it is,” Brian said. “We agree on that.”

“Brian,” Justin concluded. “Sometimes I am such a dope. I don’t know how you even put up with me. I promise I’ll grow up someday if you can wait.”

“At my age I don’t know how many years I have left,” Brian told him squeezing him just a little tighter, “And I’m willing to spend them waiting for you to grow up, but I don’t really know if I want you to. Maybe you keep me young too. Maybe that’s why I want a skateboard.”

“OK, you win, Bri,” Justin told him. “No skateboards. Except maybe to borrow Malcolm’s every once in a while to get across campus. No tricks, I promise. I guess you think it’s pretty funny that I’m promising to quit tricking. Maybe I am growing up – thanks to you. But this is my own adult decision. Of course I’ve listened to your arguments but I’ve made my own decision.”

“Don’t you always,” Brian responded before the conversation dropped off for a while.

After a short pause Justin turned to Brian and asked. “Brian Honey,” he wondered. “Did I just get conned? Something tells me that I was tricked into doing what you wanted me to. ”

“Never, Baby,” Brian assured him. “You know I’ve given up tricking too. You made your own mature independent decision on the matter.”

“Well you’re lucky to have me around then, Bri,” Justin informed him nestling himself closer to Brian as if to strengthen his point. “If it weren’t for my mature independent decision, you might have killed yourself on a stupid skateboard.”

“Very true,” Brian agreed. “I am lucky to have you around. I know that.” And that was no trick on Brian’s part. He really meant it.


	122. Chapter 122 - Arbitration

Brian and Justin were in their usual places in front of the fake fireplace. They had been there a half-hour and not a word had been spoken. Nobody was complaining but Brian was wondering, so finally he asked, “I guess you don’t have any projects to discuss tonight, Baby?”

“Nope,” Justin replied. “I’m just sitting here enjoying being here with you – next to you. And that’s how it’s going to be forever and ever, isn’t it Bri?”

“I hope so,” Brian assured him, “Not like Malcolm and Hunter, I guess.”

“Shit,” Justin complained. “Is there nothing in the world you don’t know?”

“Well, I guess you know I’m pretty good friends with the fathers of one of the combatants, and with the brother of the other one,” Brian responded. “Did you think Mikey wasn’t going to tell me about it? I presume you know about it.”

“Yeah,” Justin admitted. “Malcolm told me yesterday.”

“And you haven’t got the whole matter settled by now with everybody living happily ever after?” Brian smiled at him.

“No I don’t, Brian,” Justin told him, “So you don’t have to lecture me about it being none of my business. I know you don’t like me to meddle and I’m not going to meddle.”

“What’s the problem with them?” Brian asked.

“Malcolm told me, Brian, but do you mind if I don’t tell you?” Justin answered. “Malcolm asked me not to tell anybody, and it’s kind of dumb. I know it would be OK to tell you but I’d rather not. They ought to be able to work it out themselves. It’s such a crazy little thing.”

“Nah, I don’t need to know what the problem is, but you know, Baby, sometimes it’s the little things that do the most damage though,” Brian reminded him. “Do you think they will work it out themselves? Mikey was against their relationship at first but now he thinks it’s good for Hunter.”

“It’s good for Malcolm too,” Justin assured Brian. “You remember what a goof Malcolm was before he got together with Hunter. Brian, you don’t think we would ever let some little thing break us up, do you?”

“Not a chance, Honey,” Brian told him. “We’re too mature for that and we know each other too well.”

“I’m glad you think that,” Justin replied.

“Maybe it would be better if they did break up,” Brian suggested. “The age difference is too great. Isn’t Malcolm four years older than Hunter?”

“Brian,” Justin objected. “You’re scaring me. I don’t think you’re trying to, but you are.”

“Well we’ve had our problems,” Brian reminded him, “But we got through them pretty well. I don’t think that could happen to us again. There’s nothing we couldn’t work out now.”

“But, you know, Bri, Daphne kept telling me it was you I loved and not Ethan,” Justin remembered, “And I know Mikey and Linz and the others were telling you the same thing about me. I think they did help us get back together, not that we wouldn’t have done it on our own.”

The guys spent a little quiet time as the conversation went into a short lull.

Brian restarted the talk. “Why didn’t you say something to me about this Malcolm-Hunter business?” he asked the kid.

“Because I knew how you’d react,” Justin responded. “You would have right away figured I was going to get mixed up in their problem. You’d have been ‘Don’t meddle, Justin. It’s not your business.’ And I’d have gone ‘I can fix this, Brian, and they’re our friends and all,’ and then you’d have been ‘OK, Justin, I don’t want to tell you what to do, so you just go ahead and make your own decision,’ and then you’d have had that hurt look on you face, and I’d feel all guilty and everything, and I love you Brian, even if you are a big dope.”

“Geez,” Brian responded. “Now I don’t even get to do my own dialog. You do both ends of our conversation. What do you need me for?”

“Cut it out, Brian,” Justin laughed. “You know I couldn’t live without you, but you know I’m right, and you’re trying to make me feel guilty anyhow, and that’s not fair. You don’t want me to meddle and I’m not going to meddle. Aren’t you satisfied?”

“You know, Baby,” Brian squeezed the kid. “Sometimes I think you know me better than I know myself, but sometimes even the great Justin Taylor gets it wrong.”

“What are you saying, Bri?” Justin wondered. “Are you telling me that you actually want me to get involved in this? Is that what you’re saying?”

“Maybe too much of you has rubbed off on me, Sunshine,” Brian answered. “I think maybe that’s what I am saying. Maybe that’s what friends are for. Do you think you can fix this up between Malcolm and Hunter?”

“Surely you’re joking,” Justin told him. “The great Justin Taylor never misses – or hardly ever, anyhow. I can fix this. Do you want to help?”

“You know I always want to help, Kiddo,” Brian said, “But maybe it would be better if I stayed out of it this time.”

“That’s OK if that’s the way you want it, Sweetheart,” Justin agreed, “But you know I can always use your help, whatever I do.”

“Thanks,” Brian informed him, “But not this time, OK?”

“What’s up, Bri?” Justin. “You seem to be protesting too much. What’s the problem?”

Brian was laughing now. “Baby, Mikey wanted me to get you involved in this situation,” he confessed. “Mikey thinks as highly of your problem solving skills as you do. He really wants those guys to get back together and he said you were the only one who could do it.”

“Well then, why don’t you want to help?” Justin questioned.

“Because Mikey also told me not to get involved,” Brian admitted. “He said I’d just get in your way and probably mess everything up.”

“You wouldn’t mess things up at all, Bri,” Justin consoled him. “It just might take me longer if you were helping but you wouldn’t mess things up.”

“Thanks, Baby,” Brian pretended to pout. “I appreciate everybody’s confidence in me.”

Another quiet period followed before Brian asked the next question. “How long do you think it will take to solve this problem?” he wanted to know.

“Not long,” Justin replied confidently. “A day or two should do it.”

“I guess I can spare you for a day or two,” Brian replied.

“Forget that, Brian,” Justin told him. “I have no intention of working on this during time I could be spending with you. First things come first and you are the first thing for me. Even if I guess I don’t understand you as well as I thought I did.”

”Well, there’s meddling,” Brian conceded, “And then there’s meddling.”

“Thanks for clarifying that matter so well,” Justin replied. “I guess it’s going to take a hundred years for me to really get to understand you.”

“Will that be too long?” Brian asked.

“Not at all,” Justin told him, “And I expect to enjoy every minute of it.”


	123. Chapter 123 - Gay Blades

Brian was a fan of very old movies. Every once in a while he rented one to show to Justin. Brian was pleased that Justin always seemed to enjoy the pictures. Sometimes, or closer maybe to always, Brian seemed afterward to regret having shown the movie. Tonight was one of those nights. The movie had been the classic 1938 version of The Adventures of Robin Hood. The movie was over but the action continued. Justin (Robin Hood) Taylor was dancing around the loft parrying and thrusting with a yardstick, all of which Brian interpreted as an accident about to occur.

“Put that yardstick down, Twink,” He told the kid. “You aren’t Robin Hood and that’s not a sword.”

“I don’t have a sword,” Justin replied without missing a parry or a thrust, “So this will have to do. We can’t let Prince John’s men get away with anything.”

”If you put it down before you smash one of our precious artifacts,” Brian promised, “I’ll buy you a fake sword next time I’m at the dollar store.”

That brought Justin to at least a temporary halt, and a look of wonderment to his face. “You’ve never been in a dollar store in your life, Bri,” he pointed out. “I’ll be a long time waiting for my sword.”

“Well I guess I’m due to get to the dollar store soon then,” Brian answered, “But if you don’t quit waving that yardstick around, I may get up from my comfortable place here in front of our neat fireplace, and break that damn yardstick over your head, or maybe over a more appropriate part of your anatomy.”

“The forces of evil always resort to brute force, Sir Brian,” Justin challenged him. “If you dare try that, you may find your brute force countered by youth and agility.”

“If that means you think you can escape,” Brian laughed, “I think you’ll find this loft is too small for that. But I don’t need to resort to force at all. If I order you to do something, you always do it.”

“You jest, Sir,” Justin retorted. “Just order me to do something and you’ll see that I don’t do it.”

“OK, Kiddo,” Brian accepted the dare, “I order you to come over here and sit on my lap and let me squeeze you a little bit.”

“Wait a minute, Brian,” Justin complained, leaving the Robin Hood persona behind, “You can’t order me to do something I want to do – something I always want to do. That’s not fair at all.”

“Nevertheless, that’s my command,” Brian chortled, “So if you do it, you’ll be obeying orders.”

“Well there’s such a thing as appealing to the Supreme Court, Brian Kinney,” Justin complained as he appeared to follow orders, snuggling himself into Brian’s lap. “I just may appeal to the Supreme Court. Sometimes you treat me like a kid.”

“I’ll admit that I sometimes treat you like a kid,” Brian agreed, “If you’ll admit that sometimes I don’t treat you like a kid.”

“Sometimes you treat me like an real adult, Brian,” Justin responded with a wide grin, “But not always.”

“And I hereby apologize for ever treating you like a kid,” Brian grinned back at him. “I can’t imagine why I do that. You never act like a kid.”

“You’re picking on me, Bri,” Justin replied. “Sometimes it seems like I never win.”

“And sometimes it seems like you always win,” Brian countered.

“Yeah it does,” Justin gave in, as he brushed his cheek against Brian’s chest.

It seemed like time for a quiet period in front of the fireplace and that is exactly what happened next.

“Was Errol Flynn gay?” Justin queried, breaking the silence.

“I don’t think so, Baby,” Brian told him. “He had about twenty wives and maybe eighty girl friends. I know that’s not proof positive, but I think it’s safe to say he was straight. And I guess Robin Hood was straight too. That Marian person looked like a woman to me.”

“Yeah,” Justin responded, “But Mr. Hadley told us in history class that King Richard was gay and Robin Hood was working for him, and Prince John was straight, I hope, and Robin was against him.”

“What have I always told you, Twink,” Brian laughed. “Gay is good.”

“I did hear you say that once,” Justin laughed back at him. “But Mr. Hadley also told us that Richard’s boy-friend was the king of France. I guess it was pretty hard for a king to find a boy-friend.”

“It was hard for anybody in those days, I bet,” Brian responded. “There was no Babylon. If there had been a Babylon, all Richard would have had to do was come out of there and one of your ancestors would have been across the street, standing under a lamppost looking cute.”

“Looking cute, huh?” Justin wondered.

“What else?” Brian answered.

So it was another while before Justin again broke the quiet. “Brian,” he ordered, “When you get to the dollar store, get two swords and I’ll show you some dueling tricks.”

“You’ve studied swordsmanship?” Brian seemed surprised.

“No,” Justin admitted, “But I’ve seen a couple of these movies now and I paid attention. You wouldn’t have a chance.”

“Maybe I better tell you then,” Brian said, “That I was coached in fencing when I played Laertes in college, and I got interested and took a short phys ed course in epee, so I might not lose. Now I might lose to Malcolm but I don’t think I’d lose to you.”

“What has Malcolm to do with any of this?” Justin seemed puzzled.

“Didn’t you know Malcolm took fencing lessons when he was in high school, Baby?” Brian asked him.

“No, I didn’t,” Justin retorted, “And I don’t know how you know that either.”

“Easy,” Brian answered, “He told me. He knows I’ve had a little training too. We talked about it a couple of times.”

“Well I don’t remember any of those discussions,” Justin protested.

“Maybe you weren’t there,” Brian suggested.

“Are you telling me you have been seeing Malcolm behind my back?” Justin wanted to know.

“I guess you’re not everywhere all the time, Honey,” Brian joked, “Even if it mostly seems like you are everywhere all the time. But there’s nothing between me and Malcolm. We wouldn’t do that to Hunter.”

“Well I could get mad,” Justin threatened, with a big smile on his face.

“I order you not to get mad,” Brian told him.

“And if I get mad anyhow,” Justin conjectured.

“See that yardstick, Sir Sunshine,” Brian warned him.


	124. Chapter 124 - Making Statements

Justin felt a little uneasy. Brian had not said much since he returned to the loft from the office. They talked through dinner but it didn’t seem like Brian was very interested and he had not commented on what Justin had anticipated being the major topic of discussion. That made Justin uneasy as the guys configured themselves in their usual spot in front of the fireplace that evening. Justin pondered the situation and decided to take the bull by the horns

”Hey Brian,” he asked. “What do you think of my new hair style?”

“Oh,” Brian acted surprised. “I didn’t notice you had a new hair style, but now that you mention it, I can see the change.”

“Well do you like it?” Justin pressed.

“What does it matter if I like it or not,” Brian countered. “It’s your hair. You’re still the same Justin no matter what your hair looks like and that’s what’s important to me.”

“You don’t like it,” Justin decided. “I was afraid it might be too mod for you. Do you think you could ever get to like it?”

“I didn’t say I didn’t like it, did I?” Brian responded. “Actually I was thinking maybe I should get my hair fixed like that too.”

“You wouldn’t do that Brian,” Justin objected. “If you did something like that, you would just be trying to make me mad.”

“So you’d be mad if I tried to have my hair look as nice as yours?” Brian wondered. “You know I like to look good too.”

“It just wouldn’t suit you at all, Bri,” Justin continued. “I don’t think it would look good on you at all.”

“How come?” Brian demanded. “Am I too old for it, or just too old-fashioned?”

“Cut it out, Brian,” Justin objected. “You’re just trying to give me a hard time, and you are giving me a hard time too. You know you wouldn’t ever get your hair styled like this. You’d look dumb.”

“How come you don’t look dumb then?” Brian wanted to know.

“I’m an artist, Bri,” Justin said back to him, “And I guess I’m just making a statement.”

”And may I ask what statement you are making?” Brian responded. “I don’t think I can figure that out without help.”

“I’m like saying I can do whatever I want,” Justin informed him. “I’m saying I can make up my own mind about things.”

“Well you didn’t need to make that statement to me,” Brian replied. “I don’t think you needed to make that statement to anybody who knows you. I think we all know you make up your own mind, and I think everybody admires you for that. I know I do.”

“You’re trying to make me feel guilty, Bri,” Justin groaned. “And it’s my hair, after all.”  
“Well it is your hair,” Brian conceded, “But I used to like to run my hand through it and muss it up.”

“You can still do that Brian,” Justin insisted. “I like it when you mess around with my hair. You know that. Go ahead. Run your hand through it.”

“Do you think the glue has set yet?” Brian wanted to know.

That kind of broke the tension and Justin laughed. “Why don’t you just say you don’t like it, or order me to get it changed back, Honey?” Justin told him “It can be changed back. Pietro said the styling is completely reversible.”

“If I ordered you to get it changed back,” Brian answered, “That would be a statement that I make your decisions for you. I don’t want to make that statement, so if I did any ordering, I’d order you to keep the new style, whether I like it or not, since that seems to be your declaration of independence. But you know what I would like to know, Baby, is how the idea of a new hair style came up at all. Do you want to start at the beginning?”

“Some kid at school had this style,” Justin narrated, “And me and Malcolm decided we wanted to try it too.”

“Malcolm has the same hair-do?” Brian interrupted.

“Yeah,” Justin said. “We both got them together.”

“Has Hunter seen it yet?” Brian had to laugh, “Or have Mikey and Ben seen Malcolm yet?”

“Hunter has,” Justin told him. “Hunter saw us both together.”

“What did Hunter have to say about them?” Brian interrogated. “I bet he had something to say to Malcolm.”

“Wrong, Sweetheart,” Justin informed him. “Hunter didn’t say a word to Malcolm but he did say something to me. He said ‘Brian – is – going – to – kill - you.’”

“Hunter doesn’t know us very well then,” Brian opined. “We love each other but we make decisions for ourselves.”

“I’m going to get my hair put back the way it was,” Justin told him. “You don’t like it.”

“I don’t want you to do that,” Brian replied. “I want you to have your hair the way you want it, not the way I want it. Like you said, it’s your hair.”

“But I want my hair to be the way you want it,” Justin protested. “It is my decision to have my hair the way you want it. OK? I’ll just have to call Pietro and make an appointment for tomorrow.”

“You don’t need to do that?” Brian told him.

“Yes I do,” Justin insisted. “I want my old hair back. Brian, the truth is that Malcolm and me decided to get our hair changed back just about right away after we got it done but Pietro didn’t have time for us today. So we decided to have a little fun and surprise you guys with this style. It was all kind of a joke, Bri, so I do have to call Pietro.”

“Actually you don’t,” Brian told him. “I was talking to Mikey on the phone from the office when Hunter and Malcolm walked in on him. After he recovered consciousness, Mikey said Malcolm wanted me to tell you that Pietro would take you both at 8:00 tomorrow morning.”

“You knew all along?” Justin gritted his teeth. “You knew all along and you let me go through all of this?”

“Yeah, I knew,” Brian admitted. “Otherwise, I might have fainted dead away when I walked in the door. Maybe you shouldn’t pull tricks like that on an old guy like me.”

Justin had to smile. “I guess I really shouldn’t, Bri. I’m sorry. You know what you said a little while ago, ‘We love each other.’ Do you really love me, even when I do these crazy things?”

“Yep,” Brian acknowledged.

“How much?” Justin prodded.

“Enough to be seen in public with you even in that hair-do,” Brian told him.

“How do you put up with me, Bri?” Justin asked him sheepishly.

“Putting up with you is my favorite activity in the whole world,” Brian told him, hugging the kid while trying to insure that Justin’s hair did not stain his sleeve.

“Brian will you promise me something,” Justin asked him. “Please leave your hair the way it is.”

“I will,” Brian promised him. “I’ve made all the statements I need to make.”


	125. Chapter 125 - Showing Off

The guys had just eaten dinner at the diner with Ted and Emmett. When they returned home, Brian noted, in one corner of the loft, a fairly large package wrapped in brown paper. “OK, Sunshine,” he said to the kid, “That wasn’t there when I left this morning and now it is. What’s up?”

“You know how you always say you want to see all my work,” Justin informed him. “I have three drawings in there that I want to show you.”

“Don’t I usually just stop at the Institute to see your stuff?” Brian wanted to know. “How come these have been brought home? Don’t you want me to visit over at the Institute, eh? All of which means I’ll be over there tomorrow.”

“That’ll be great, Bri,” Justin told him confidently. “I have a couple of other things there that you’ll be mad if I don’t show you. We’ll set a time later for that, but I want you to see these now.”

“And for some reason, here,” Brian added.

“Yeah,” Justin told him as he unwrapped the package to reveal three watercolors of Pittsburgh scenes.

Brian was impressed. “They’re great, Kiddo,” he told Justin. “You just seem to get better and better. You know what I think I’ll do. I think I’ll take all your stuff, as soon as you finish it, and put it in storage, and then when you’re rich and famous, I’ll sell them for top dollar to support myself stylishly in my old age.”

“Uh uh, Brian,” Justin laughed. “I’ll be here to support you stylishly in your old age, physically and financially and every other way too. You’re never going to get rid of me. But how do you figure I can get rich and famous if all my work goes directly into storage?”

“Well maybe I’ll let you show a few of your paintings,” Brian decided, “And maybe even sell a couple. But not these three. I think we could find places around here for them. Brian Kinney says these do not get sold.”

“And like always, Brian Kinney’s word is law, always and everywhere,” Justin replied with a mock bow. “I have no intention of selling any of these three. Can we please light the fireplace?”

“Oh oh,” Brian figured, “If you need the fireplace lit, maybe Brian Kinney is not going to get what he wants. Maybe Brian Kinney is going to be manipulated and cajoled. Maybe Brian Kinney is not going to like what comes next.”

“And maybe it won’t be nearly as bad as Brian Kinney imagines,” Justin responded as he pulled Brian down onto the floor into their usual places. Actually a quiet period of time followed before the conversation continued.

“OK, Baby,” Brian finally broke the silence. “I’m as ready as I’ll ever be. What have you concocted now?”

“I have concocted nothing at all, Bri,” Justin told him. “It’s just that sometimes I’m not too sure how to tell you things I have to tell you, but this is not really one of those times. You know the Gay and Lesbian Center has an art show and sale just about every year.”

“You’re giving these to the Center for their art sale?” Brian deduced. “They’re too good for that.”

“I want to donate some good stuff, Bri,” Justin insisted. “Linz is showing and that neat friend of hers who paints with her feet is donating. There is going to be a lot of great stuff and I want mine to be nearly as good as theirs.”

“Yours is going to be the best stuff there, Baby,” Brian assured him. “Nobody else is going to be even close.”

“But you might just be a little bit prejudiced, Bri,” Justin responded and then added archly, “Because you’re my boyfriend.”

“Maybe I was thinking you’d be the best because I was your inspiration,” Brian gibed back.

“Well you are my inspiration,” Justin admitted. “That’s why I’m glad you think it’s a good idea for us to donate these three watercolors to the sale.”

“I don’t remember saying that,” Brian told him as Justin rubbed his hair against Brian’s cheek, “But I guess I meant to say that.”

Brian squeezed the twink closer and there was more quiet time in the loft.

“There must be more, Baby,” Brian conjectured. “Why did you bring these home to show me? I could have seen them at the Center when they’re showing there.”

“I didn’t know if you’d want to come to the exhibit, Bri,” Justin told him. “I know art exhibits aren’t your thing. Now that you’ve seen the stuff here, you won’t need to come to the exhibit if you don’t want to.”

“I love art exhibits, Twink,” Brian insisted. “I’m going to be there with you all the time you’re there.”

“Twelve hours on Saturday and six hours on Sunday?” Justin queried.

“Yeah,” Brian told him. “I love art exhibits.”

“Well you didn’t used to,” Justin reminded him. “The first time I had stuff at their exhibit was the first time I ever showed anything in public, and you refused to come.”

“I came, didn’t I?” Brian reminded him back.

“Only because Lindsay said she’d kill you if you didn’t,” Justin laughed.

“And if looks could kill, your mother would have killed me right there at the exhibit,” Brian retorted.

“She didn’t like you very much just then,” Justin told him, “But she loves you now, you know.”

“Maybe she does at that,” Brian agreed. “You know what, Sunshine, I’ll even come to the center and help you hang those pictures. You can’t do that yourself.”

”Daphne’s coming to help,” Justin said, “But we would be delighted to have you come too. We could use your advice.”

”As long as I don’t touch anything,” Brian laughed.

“Well I’ll love having you there, but I just didn’t want you to feel you had to come.” Justin said. “I didn’t think you liked art exhibits after that first one.”  
“I didn’t love you then,” Brian told him.

“Yes you did,” Justin disagreed.

“Well I didn’t know it,” Brian revised his statement.

“Yes you did,” Justin maintained.

“Well I didn’t know I knew it,” Brian tried again.

“Probably not,” Justin finally agreed.

“Geez,” Brian breathed a little easier. “I didn’t think I was ever going to get anything right.”

Justin put both arms around Brian’s neck. “As far as I’m concerned, Honey, you get everything right,” he told him. “Absolutely everything.”

Brian decided he had got something right.


	126. Chapter 126 - Road Trip

A discussion was already in progress as the guys settled themselves on the floor in front of their fake fireplace. It really was more discussion than dispute.

Justin was insisting,” I don’t think I should go if you don’t. You were supposed to go too.”

“You knew I might not be able to go from the start,” Brian protested. “I told you I might have this client in town on Saturday and if I did I couldn’t go. I said I’d go if I could but I can’t. You can and you should.”

“I don’t like to be away from you, Bri,” Justin replied.

“One day,” Brian said. “Not even a whole day. You’ll be leaving at eight in the morning and you’ll be back by ten in the evening. Geez, Kiddo. I’m going to be busy most of the day anyway. I’ll have the fireplace lit when you get back and you can tell me all about it.”

“You’ll have to have dinner all by yourself,” Justin warned him.

“That might be a welcome change,” Brian smiled at him. “But I won’t have to have dinner all by myself. I’ll check with Mikey and Linz or maybe Chuck, and then maybe I can have a quiet dinner without an argument.”

“This is not an argument, Brian,” Justin insisted. “This is a discussion. We’re a couple and we have to discuss things.”

“Well I’m not going to argue about whether this is an argument or not,” Brian laughed at him. “One argument at a time is enough.”

“Well if I do go,” Justin laughed back at him, “I’m not sure I like the idea of you maybe having dinner with Chuck – just the two of you. Chuck is cuter than me.”

“I don’t think so,” Brian countered.

“Then I don’t guess I should argue with you about that since you don’t like arguments,” Justin smirked.

“And I don’t think you should be jealous about me having dinner with Chuck either,” Brian contended. “You’re going to be with Ethan and I’m not jealous at all, you know.”

“Yeah, but you also know Tom’s going to be with us too,” Justin laughed at Brian.

“You’re absolutely right, Baby,” Brian told him. “If Tom weren’t going to be there, I wouldn’t want you to go. And maybe you better make sure that if Ethan’s in the front seat of the car, you’re in the back, or vice-versa.”

“I guess maybe I am glad you’re just a little bit jealous.” Justin concluded.

“If I were going along,” Brian countered, “I could show you the exact spot on the Turnpike where we had the flat tire going up to New York to bring you back, Kiddo. Emmett and Ted fixed the tire while Mikey and me had a romantic interlude in the shadows.”

“Brian Kinney, that’s not going to work,” Justin laughed. “I know for sure that you have never in your whole life had a romantic interlude with anybody – but me. So there. And anyhow, I thought you had that flat tire beyond Harrisburg, and we’re only going as far as Harrisburg.”

“Nope,” Brian remembered. “It was just beyond Breezewood. I’ll never forget that night.”

“Or the next day either, I bet,” Justin teased, “Speaking of romantic interludes.”

“And, by the way, Sweetheart, speaking of romantic interludes,” Brian asked with a slight smirk of his own, “Just how many have you had without me?”

“None,” Justin told him. “You snatched me from the cradle before I had a chance to live.”

“And pursued you despite your vain attempts to dissuade me,” Brian laughed. “Please accept my apologies.”

“Your apology is accepted,” Justin condescended,” But probably unnecessary. I think things worked out pretty well – so far.”

“How come Ethan isn’t already in Harrisburg, Baby?” Brian asked. “Doesn’t he have to rehearse if he’s going to play with the Harrisburg Symphony?”

“He was up there earlier in the week for a few days,” Justin reminded him. “Of course they had to practice together. It’s a hard piece they’re playing.”

“Some modern crap I guess,” Brian pointed out, “By somebody nobody ever heard of.”

“Wrong, Mr. Know-It-All.” Justin smiled. “It’s the violin concerto #2 in D-minor, opus 32, by Henryk Weniawski.. It was written way back in the eighteen-hundreds – even before you were born I think it’s dedicated to Pablo Sarasate, and it’s a well known piece to us music lovers. I guess you want me to spell out that name. It’s W-E…”

“Don’t bother,” Brian interrupted. “I’m sure I can spell it just as well as you. G-O-O-G-L-E.”

“You’re funny, Brian,” Justin told him. “I’m glad I found you.”

“Yeah,” Brian answered. “I guess it was hard finding somebody to snatch you from that cradle.”

“Well I was pretty particular,” Justin smiled. “I knew what I wanted.”

“And you still do,” Brian concluded. “So I guess you’re going then. I don’t see why Ethan thinks you’re such a lucky charm though.”

“That’s a really mean thing to say, Brian,” Justin pouted. “Look at all the lucky things that have happened to you since I became a part of your life.”

“I’ll think about all those lucky things in my spare time while you’re gone,” Brian decided, “And there’s still a 90% probability that I’ll be here when you get back.”

“You’ll be here, Kinney,” Justin seemed sure. “You’ll be here and you’ll be lonely, and you’ll have the fireplace lit waiting for me.”

“Could be,” Brian mused, “But I bet you will come back, and you’ll be glad to get back, and you might be a little lonely too.”

“Could be,” Justin admitted. “You know what, Honey. I really like our arguments. I don’t like to argue with anybody as much as I like to argue with you. And this has one of our very best. I love you, you know.”  
“Yeah, I do know,” Brian squeezed the kid. “I don’t mind arguing with you either. And I think this has been one of our best arguments too. You know what that means?”

“No, I don’t know what that means,” Justin replied. “So what does it mean?”

“I guess it means,” Brian jibed. “That you should go away more often.”

So Brian got an elbow to the ribs but he didn’t mind that either.


	127. Chapter 127 - Consulting

The fire was lit. Brian was already on the floor watching the flames somewhat aimlessly when Justin took his place beside him. Brian circled the kid with his arm.

“Justin,” Brian began. “I need to talk to you about something.”

“You’re mad at me, Brian,” Justin recoiled slightly. “There has to be some misunderstanding. Why are you mad at me?”

Brian looked puzzled. “Just what part of ‘Justin, I need to talk to you about something’ makes you think I’m mad at you?” he asked.

“You called me ‘Justin’,” the kid replied. “You never call me ‘Justin’.”

“I might be missing something but I thought that was your name,” Brian wondered.

“Of course it’s my name,” Justin insisted, “But you never call me by my name. You call me ‘Baby’ or ‘Twink’ or ‘Kiddo’ or sometimes ‘Honey’ or ‘Sweetheart” but you never call me ‘Justin’ unless you’re mad at me.”

“Well maybe I just use those other names because I forget what your real name is?” Brian grinned. “Maybe I only remember your real name when I want something from you.”

“You don’t forget names, Brian,” Justin held his ground. “That’s just an old trick of yours. But you do only call me ‘Justin’ when you’re mad at me.”

“Well you almost always call me ‘Brian’ or ‘Bri’,” Brian tried to reason in parallel. “Does that mean you’re always mad at me?”

“You’re funny, Bri,” Justin smiled as he replied. “I could hardly call you ‘Baby’ or ‘Twink’ or ‘Kiddo’, too late for that, and I reserve ‘Sweetheart’ and ‘Honey’ for when I want to be sarcastic, so what else can I call you but your name. Anyhow, I usually call you ‘Brian Kinney’ when I’m mad at you, you know that.”

“Well I suppose I do now,” Brian concluded, “But I guess it’s good that I am now alert to the code. You know there’s a lot of surprises included in living with you.”

“You don’t like surprises?” Justin asked him.

“Sometimes a surprise can be fun,” Brian admitted, “But it’s still a surprise.” That brought the conversation to a pause for a short period, which was not uncommon in their fireside chats.

I t was Justin who resumed the discussion a little while later. “Brian,” he reminded him, “Didn’t you say you wanted to talk to me about something before you changed the subject?”

“Yeah, I did, Baby,” Brian replied, taking special care with his nomenclature. “I must have lost my focus somehow. There’s something I hope you’ll do for me – or really for the business. We can pay you as a consultant.”

“Now that’s a surprise,” Justin pointed out.

“It’s not the first time I’ve asked you to help me out on some business matter,” Brian pointed out in return.

“That wasn’t the surprise,” Justin responded. “The surprise was the stuff about getting paid.”

“Cut it out, Twink,” Brian demanded. “You’re not going to get me off the track twice in one conversation. It would be a minimum wage job, of course.”

“Go ahead, Brian Sweetheart,” Justin laughed. “I’m all ears, but that’s way more ears than you should expect for minimum wage.”

“Ann Linton is coming to see us next week. I think you’ve heard me complain about her,” Brian told him. “She’s the advertising director for ‘For Her’ cosmetics and she’s a genuine pain in the ass. But she has a larger advertising budget that she wants to talk to us about. She’s weird though. The problem is that she speaks ‘art-crap-ese’, that’s what we call her language, and we don’t always know what she’s talking about. She likes us mostly but she hates our art department and they hate her. I think it would be good if you sat in on our meetings and turned on the charm. Maybe you could translate for us too. We figure you could speak art-crap-ese.”

“You think I can speak art-crap-ese?” Justin wanted to know.

“Yep,’ Brian responded. “I have a lot of confidence in you. You know that.”

“And you expect me to use my specialized skill in speaking art-crap-ese, presuming that I do speak it, for minimum wage?” Justin showed his disbelief.”

“A thousand dollars a day,” Brian offered. “Probably for just one, but maybe two days.”

“Well it just so happens that I do speak art-crap-ese, Brian Honey,” Justin told him, “And just because I love you, I’ll make myself available when you need me. We can work out the details later.”

“Would you love me just as much for less than a thousand dollars a day?” Brian grinned at him.

“I could answer that but you might be surprised at the answer,” Justin smiled back, “And I might be too. So I won’t.”

The discussion took another pause at that point with the guys sitting comfortably close to each other.

“Brian,” Justin eventually announced. “I’ll do a good job for you with Ms. Linton. You wait and see. We’ll get that bigger account.”

“Yeah,” Brian agreed. “I think it was a good idea to get you involved.”

“I bet it was Cynthia who figured that out,” Justin gibed.

“Geez, Honey,” Brian said. “Don’t you have any confidence in me at all. Well just for your information, it may have been Cynthia who first thought we could use a special consultant, but she suggested Linz. It was me who decided it was you we wanted and I’m the boss around there.”

“Cynthia’s pretty good, Bri,” Justin mused. “I could learn a lot from her – and actually I have - and from you too, of course.”

Brian wasn’t sure what that statement meant, so he gave it a little thought while he messed up the twink’s hair. Then he smiled.

“Are you thinking that Cynthia deliberately suggested Linz just so that I would decide on you instead?” Brian wondered out loud. “Like maybe I wouldn’t take the suggestion if she had picked you in the first place.”

“Of course not, Brian,” Justin insisted. “You are certainly the boss and the real decision maker in the office – just like you are here.” But his smile gave him away.

“Justin,” Brian began, but Justin threw both arms around his neck and kissed him.

“Baby,” Brian started over.

Justin was satisfied that he could still get Brian off the track if he needed to.


	128. Chapter 128 - Don't Throw Bouquets At Me

The weather outside was warm but the fake fireplace blazed in the loft with Brian and Justin seated in front of it. The heat was turned off though so the guys could get the benefit of the flickering flames without any heat emanation. It was the best of both worlds.

“The Summer Little Theater is putting on ‘Oklahoma’ next month, and Malcolm is going to direct it,” Justin told Brian. “It will be his first real try at directing.”

“And you’re telling me this for some reason, I guess,” Brian replied.

“Because I thought you’d want to know,” Justin sounded affronted. “Why else would I be telling you?”

“I don’t know,” Brian told him, “But sometimes when you wait till the fireplace is lit to tell me something, there’s more to it than you’re telling me.”

“That’s mean of you to say that, Brian,” Justin defended himself. “Why shouldn’t I tell you something? Don’t you want to know what’s going on?”

“That’s exactly my point,” Brian laughed. “I do want to know what’s going on. Do they want me to play Curly or do they just want me to coach Mikey who will be playing Curly?”

“None of the above, Mr. Know-It-All,” Justin laughed back at him. “They don’t want you to play anything at all. It’s all cast already except for Jud in case you want to volunteer for that role. Maybe you should. You’d make a great Jud.”

“Jud doesn’t get the girl,” Brian responded. “Why would I want to be Jud?”

“Jud’s mean and you can play mean pretty well, Honey. But you only want to play roles of guys who get the girl?” Justin snuggled up to Brian. “I didn’t know getting the girl was that important to you at all.”

“Cut it out, Twink,” Brian ordered. “I don’t want to play any role as you well know. But if I did want to be in it, I’d want a better part than Jud. And I still think you’re leading up to something, and that’s what I’m waiting for.”

“Darn it, Bri,” Justin complained. “You act like you don’t trust me.”

“It’s just that when people want me to find out something they think I won’t like, you always get the job of telling me,” Brian explained, “And you always wait till the fireplace is lit, like I’m somehow weaker when the fireplace is lit and you can get away with stuff. I guess you’re getting ready to tell me that you are going to be Curly. If you want to be Curly, go ahead. I’ll come to see you.”

“Geez, Brian.” Justin complained. “I’m not going to be Curly. I don’t know why I ever tell you anything at all, but if I didn’t, you’d complain about that too. You’re tough, Kinney, but I guess I love you anyway.”

“Well why not just tell me what the surprise is and get it over with,” Brian smiled at him. “Maybe that would be a good idea.”

“Abelard is going to come in and play Curly,” Justin admitted.

“Abelard?” Brian wondered. “Abelard can sing?”

“You knew Abelard could sing,” Justin insisted. “He takes voice lessons. You knew that. If he didn’t like football so much, I think he’d transfer out of Ohio State and maybe come here to study voice at the Institute, or maybe back home at the University of Cincinnati. Anyhow, he has the time off from school and he’s coming here to do ‘Oklahoma.’ He’ll be in town for more than a month.”

“I think that’s great,” Brian smiled at Justin. “Abelard can stay here with us while he’s in town. I’m glad you got to like Abelard. He can stay here with us.”

“He can not, “ Justin gritted his teeth. “You’re just trying to get me riled up, Kinney, and you aren’t going to succeed. Actually Abelard is going to stay with Malcolm. I do like Abelard but he’s not going to stay here.”

“Seems to me like you are a little bit riled up though,” Brian grinned. “I don’t see why you would be so against Abe staying here with us.”

“You wouldn’t want Abelard here any more than I would,” Justin claimed. “And you know it and you know why, and I am not riled up, not in the least.”

“I can see that you aren’t,” Brian told him, smiling unconvincingly. “You are a very hard guy to get riled up.”

“Well, if anybody could do it, it would be you,” Justin smiled back at Brian.

That seemed to conclude the conversation about the play and the visit of Abelard in Pittsburgh. The guys just sat watching the flames and cuddling in silence as they liked to do.

It was Brian who restarted the talking. “You know, Baby, you are right,” he began. “Sometimes I guess I suspect you have ulterior motives when all you really want to do is tell me the news. I’m going to quit being so paranoid. Next time you want to tell me something, I’m going to let you tell me, without suspecting you of anything at all.”

“Don’t worry about it, Bri,” Justin responded. “I guess I’m just a bit oversensitive, and you’re right. Sometimes I do try to get you to do things you might not want to volunteer for. You have a right to be suspicious sometimes.”

“Nah,” Brian assured him. “It’s me who’s oversensitive. I know if there’s something you want to tell me, you’ll tell me. I don’t really mind.”

“You don’t?” Justin responded.

“Nah,” Brian repeated. “I don’t mind.”

“Well there is something else I guess I should ask you then?” Justin continued.. “Did you know that all along?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Brian claimed.

“Actually, Malcolm is a little bit afraid of working with Abelard,” Justin told him. “You know, brothers and all. Malcolm is sure Abe will be great in the part but he’s afraid Abe might be a little problem, you know, listening to Malcolm and that kind of stuff.”

“And so?” Brian wanted to know.

“And so Malcolm was wondering if you would help out with Abe,” Justin confessed. “Abe thinks you’re the greatest guy in the world and he’d listen to you even if he wouldn’t listen to Malcolm.”  
“Help out?” Brian repeated.

“Just talk to Abe if Malcolm needs some help getting him to do what he’s supposed to, Bri,” Justin explained. “You’re the only one we know Abelard will listen to.”

“Just like you’re the only one Brian Kinney will listen to, I guess,” Brian concluded. “But OK, I’ll help out with Abelard if I can. You win. Just don’t let everybody know how easily you can twist me around your little finger.”

“That’s not true at all, Brian,” Justin retorted. “It’s just that we do things for each other. You know I do anything you want me to do and I don’t think you’re twisting me around your little finger.”

“Well don’t tell anybody anyhow,” Brian repeated.

“Why not?” Justin wanted to know.

“People will say we’re in love,” Brian told him.

“They already do, Bri,” Justin informed him, “And I think they’re right.

“Maybe so,” Brian agreed.


	129. Chapter 129 - Fore By Two

It seemed like an ordinary night in the loft as the guys settled themselves in front of their fake fireplace. Brian was wearing a mysterious grin however and that fact was not lost on the kid. Actually Brian was preparing to say something when Justin beat him to it.

“I don’t know why you have that look on your face,” Justin announced, “But I did not do it. I deny whatever you’re planning to accuse me of, and that’s that.”

“I was just going to tell you that I signed all the papers today and I am now officially a member of Greentrees Country Club,” Brian told him. “Which you should be familiar with since your dad belonged there, didn’t he?”

“Yeah, he was a member,” Justin replied. “We had lots of good times there.”

”Doing what?” Brian wanted to know.

Oh, just eating, swimming, parties,” Justin responded. “That kind of stuff. I guess I’m glad you finally joined, Bri. Chuck and Ted have been trying to get you to join for a long time. They think it will be good for business and I guess it will.”

“It might,” Brian agreed. “But I didn’t join sooner because I wasn’t sure that you wanted me to. I thought maybe it would bring back memories for you that you didn’t need. The only reason I joined now is because you finally said I ought to. So it really was your fault that I joined, Baby.”

“And so you don’t like the place, and you wish you hadn’t joined, and you’re going to blame me,” Justin surmised. “You don’t do everything I want you to do, so it’s not fair for you to blame me for this.”

“I am not blaming anybody,” Brian informed him. “At least not yet, I’m not. But about me not doing everything you want me to do, would you care to list a few times I didn’t?”

“Well I could, Brian Kinney,” Justin came back, “But I’m not going to because you know I never complain. You are the only complainer around here.”

“Maybe because I’m the only one with anything to complain about,” Brian retorted. “But I’m not blaming you for anything or accusing you of anything. You don’t have a guilty conscience about anything, do you?”

“Certainly not,” Justin assured him.

“It’s just that if I’m a member of Greentrees,” Brian observed, “I guess we will be spending some time out there too, so I thought maybe golf lessons would be a good idea. So I stopped over to see the pro.”

“What did he say?” Justin asked, just a little nervously.

“Jimmy says he knows you well,” Brian said. “He said you were the under-12 champion out there when you played in the kids’ tournament. He said you were a really good golfer for that age and that you could have gotten a lot better but you just quit playing when you were fourteen.”

“I didn’t like golf,” Justin semi-mumbled. “And I had too much other stuff I’d rather do, so I quit. I told Jimmy that. And I didn’t think he was at Greentrees any more.”

“He did leave but he’s back. And Jimmy is an old golf pro, Baby,” Brian answered. “He told me that’s what you told him but he suspected another reason why you quit.”  
“What other reason, Bri?” Justin challenged him.

“He thought that you were getting so good that you couldn’t keep letting your father beat you,” Brian informed him. “He was pretty certain you were making sure your dad did beat you most of the time for a year or so before you quit.”

“It seems like everybody in the whole world is a spy for Brian Kinney,” Justin moaned. “Go ahead and yell at me. I guess I should have told you I was a pretty good golfer. But the subject never came up, so I didn’t actually lie to you, Bri. I had to let my dad win, Brian. I loved him. I guess I could have beaten him just about all the time but you can’t do that with someone you love.”

“I don’t have any intention of yelling at you,” Brian squeezed the kid closer to himself, “And I’m not mad at you and I’m not complaining.”

“But you’re still Brian Kinney?” Justin wondered. “You must be getting a lot nicer, Brian.”

“Probably am,” Brian responded, “Not that I haven’t always been nice.”

“That’s true, Brian,” Justin smiled. “That’s why I love you. Have I told you lately that I love you?”

“Yeah, you have,” Brian answered, “But I always like to hear it, and I especially am glad to hear you say it tonight.”

“What’s so special about tonight?” Justin wondered, “Except that you had a chance to yell at me and you didn’t. That is special.”

“Because if you love me,” Brian laughed, “You’ll be letting me win when we play golf. Didn’t you say that’s what you do when you play with somebody you love?”

“That’s going to be pretty hard,” Justin laughed back at him. “Jimmy is a good teacher but it will take even him a while to get you golfing at my level, I’m afraid.”

“Maybe not,” Brian responded. “Actually, I wasn’t looking for lessons for me when I stopped over to see Jimmy. I was thinking about you.”

“I’m beginning to suspect something, Mr. Kinney,” Justin told him. “Is there something that you haven’t told me? Is that why you’re being so nice about me not telling you I played golf?”

“Well as you said, “Brian reasoned, “The subject never came up, did it? I did play a little golf when I was younger. Me and Mikey caddied some when we were in high school and I did play in college. I wasn’t really too bad when I quit. But the Kinneys weren’t the country-club type like the Taylors. My dad was always razzing me about playing. That may have been why I quit.”

“So we both played golf,” Justin mused, “And we both quit because of our dads. This might turn out to be real interesting, Bri. I’ll try not to beat you too bad though.”

“Wait a minute, Twink,” Brian interjected. “I expect to win most of the time. I’m pretty sure I’ll turn out to be the better golfer, but even if I’m not, you wouldn’t want to beat somebody you love. Isn’t that what you said?”

“Forget it Kinney,” Justin countered. “I love you more than anybody or anything in the world, but it’s not the same as it was with my father. I won’t mind beating you at all, as much as I love you and I always will.”

“Well I love you as much as you love me,” Brian retorted, “But it’ll be every man for himself on the links. I intend to win.”

“And that’s just the way it should be,” Justin agreed as they both dissolved into hysterical laughter.

It was a few minutes before the discussion resumed. “Brian,” Justin said. “Enough about athletics. I think there’s something that we both like to do better than golf or even arguing. Could we do that?”

“I don’t see why not,” Brian agreed. “But maybe we should talk about tennis first.”

“Not tonight,” Justin told him, “But promise me you won’t go near the tennis pro until we do. OK?”

That brought a smile to Brian’s face. Everything was OK with Brian.


	130. Chapter 130 - Early Fireworks

It wasn’t often that Brian started the conversations in front of the fake fireplace in the loft, but the discussions were, more often than not, especially interesting when he did, as he did a few evenings before the Fourth of July.

“I am not mad, Twink,” he began the discussion.

“Which means you are mad, Bri,” Justin interpreted. “I know Brianese when I hear it. Something’s bothering you. Don’t you want to tell me what it is?”

“Yeah, something is bothering me,” Brian admitted. “And I do want to tell you what it is. I was talking to Linz today. I just happened to mention I thought we’d see her at Point Park about 4:00 on the Fourth. She looked funny at me and said that I should talk to you about it.”

“And that made you mad?” Justin wondered.

“Cut it out, Twink,” Brian growled. “I know Lindsayese. What she was saying is that there is something going on and everybody is afraid to tell me what it is, so you’re going to do it because you’re the best weasel in the bunch.”

“Brian,” Justin replied. “I know you love me way too much to mean that as an insult so I’m not going to get insulted at all. And you know I love you too – though I sometimes think you don’t realize how much.”

Brian had to laugh as he squeezed the kid a little tighter. “This is way worse than I thought,” he told Justin. “I know Justinese when I hear it. OK, so I love you and you love me. Now just what the hell is going on? Or can you at least tell me when I’m going to be allowed to know?”

“Gee whiz, Bri,” Justin responded. “You sure can make a mountain out of a molehill. Nobody’s keeping any secrets from you. We just haven’t told you yet.”

“Someday I’d like to discuss that difference with you,” Brian was still laughing now, “But right now I want to know all the details of the Fourth of July. We both know I’m going to do exactly what you want me to do, but I am now going to assert the vast authority I wield around here and demand to know exactly what it is I’m going to do because you want me to – and right now, which means immediately.”

“You’re a tough guy, Kinney,” Justin told him, tousling Brian’s hair with his hand, “But I like my guys tough, so, with your permission, I’m going to tell you the surprise.”

“Any time soon?” Brian wanted to know.

“Right now,” Justin complied. “Just like you ordered, Honey. You remember that we took Gus to the park earlier last year so he could see the patriotic skit that Malcolm’s crowd was putting on. Well, they’re doing it again.”

“Well that show was pretty childish, I thought,” Brian told him, “But Gus liked it, I think, so I guess we ought to go again.”

“Gus is a kid, Bri, and the show was aimed at kids his age level,” Justin smiled and added archly, “So I’m a little surprised that you thought it was childish.”

“Cut it out, Twink,” Brian retorted. “As I recall, you thought the show was pretty good. But that’s no problem. I think we should take Gus again this year. Still I can’t figure why Linz would need to have you tell me that. They usually save you for the really big things. So just keep talking, Baby - even though I can’t believe I just told you that.”

“Well, Sweetheart, there is one other little thing maybe you need to know,” Justin admitted, “And I think you’re really going to be happy about it – and proud too.”

“Proud?” Brian questioned. “I don’t think I’m going to like this all that much. But go ahead. Tell me what’s going on and I’ll wait to get mad.”

“You know that skit Malcolm did last year was part of a kids’ activity program at the park,” Justin recited. “Well, they were just trying out that idea and it was so successful that it’s being expanded this year.”

“Cut to the chase, Kiddo,” Brian insisted. “I’m getting pretty eager to get mad.

“There’s a kids’ performance section being added this year and Gus is going to play the violin on the main stage at noon,” Justin dropped the bomb.

“My kid is going to play the violin at Point Park on the Fourth of July?” Brian echoed.

“Yep,” Justin corroborated. “Our son is making his debut on the musical scene in Pittsburgh. Well, what do you think?”

Brian was genuinely surprised. “Is my kid going to grow up to be another Ethan?” he stammered.

“What would be so bad about that?” Justin wanted to know. “We both like Ethan, or at least I do and you pretend to. Bri, Gus is doing so well at his Suzuki class that his teachers thought he was ready and when they were asked to nominate a student to play Yankee Doodle and America the Beautiful, they picked Gus. They asked Lindsay and she didn’t want to do it unless you would like it so she asked me…”

“She asked you,” Brian interrupted. “Like I don’t exist or something. She wanted to know if I liked the idea so she asked you? Can’t I talk or something?”

“Brian, Honey” Justin told him. “You’re still Brian Kinney and the general view is that Brian Kinney doesn’t like anything. If she’d have asked you, you’d have had to be Brian Kinney and make a big fuss. I, on the other hand, not being Brian Kinney, could tell her how pleased you’d be.”

“I guess next year you’ll be having Gus play the 1812 Overture on the piano?” Brian groused, maybe suppressing a smile to maintain a grave countenance.

“I don’t think anybody can play the 1812 Overture on the piano, Bri,” Justin soothed him, “But if they want him to play the piano at the park next year, I’ll bet you’ll be just as proud of Gus as you are right now. It’s OK for you to be proud of your son, Bri, just like we all are. You are proud of him, aren’t you?”

“It wouldn’t do any good for me to say I’m not, would it?” Brian supposed.

“Nope,” Justin replied. “Not to me. I know Brianese, but better even than that, I know Brian. The Brian Kinney image does not fool me.”

“But you won’t tell anybody?” Brian supposed.

“Never,” Justin assured him.

It did not seem that Brian Kinney was mad. It did seem that Brian Kinney was proud. A period of silence fell over the loft and Brian brought his other arm around to encircle the kid.

“You’re not mad, are you, Bri?” Justin broke the silence to ask for assurance.

No,” Brian responded. “I’m not mad.”

“You are happy, aren’t you, Brian?” Justin continued.

“Yeah,” Brian responded. “I’m happy.”

“About the Fourth of July?” Justin continued.

“That too,” Brian said.


	131. Chapter 131 - Help Wanted

Brian knew there was something on Justin’s mind long before they sat themselves down on the floor in front of the fake fireplace. He was not, therefore, surprised when the kid began the conversation almost immediately.

“Brian,” he asked tentatively, “Do you remember when Hunter and Malcolm were having that trouble a month or so ago?”

“If you mean the time Mikey and Ben wanted you to get it fixed up and you did – in just a couple of hours, then I remember,” Brian recalled. “I also remember that you wouldn’t tell your loving and loveable boy-friend what the problem was.”

“Well you really didn’t need to know,” Justin reasoned.

“Like you don’t tell me a lot of things I don’t need to know,” Brian reasoned back.

“Well I don’t think you really wanted to know either,” Justin posited.

“I don’t think that was established,” Brian insisted.

“So you think maybe I should have a guilty conscience?” Justin concluded.

“That’s an interesting question,” Brian retorted. “If you mean do I think you should have a guilty conscience, the answer is ‘Probably’ but for a lot more reasons than this one case. If you mean do I think you have a guilty conscience, then the answer is ‘No.’ It would never occur to you to have a guilty conscience.”

“I can see you’re in one of your moods,” Justin tried to complain, suppressing a grin.

“And what makes you think I’m in ‘one of my moods’?” Brian demanded.

“I guess because you’re always in one of your moods,” Justin laughed. “Don’t change though, Bri. I love your moods – or maybe it should just be ‘mood’ in the singular since you’re pretty much always the same way. But you know what, Honey, I do want to tell you what the problem was between Hunter and Malcolm, if that’s all right with you.”

“There must be something in it for you,” Brian concluded. “Are you going to tell me what?”

”Maybe later,” Justin announced coyly. “And don’t try to hurt my feelings either. It won’t work.”

“I know that. It’s impossible to hurt your feelings when you want something,” Brian told him. “And you do want something. I’m sure of that.”

“Not for myself, Bri,” Justin replied. “But I’m glad you’re really sharp tonight. I may need the benefit of your lucid mind.”

“You better get started then,” Brian decided. “I’m getting older and we need to get through this while my mind is still lucid.”

“You are so funny, Brian,” Justin responded. “I love you, so you don’t need to worry about your advancing years.” “OK,” Justin continued. “The weekend before Malcolm and Hunter had the falling out, they were in Cincinnati visiting Malcolm’s family.”

“I think I remember that,” Brian responded. “Mind’s still lucid.”

“Well, Malcolm’s younger sister, Penelope, came onto Hunter while they were there,” Justin continued. “Penelope is something else, Brian. You haven’t met her and I only met her the one time, but believe me, she is something else. And she’s pretty too, for a girl.”

“Females can be pretty, I guess,” Brian allowed, “But Hunter should be immune, shouldn’t he?”

“That’s the problem in a nutshell, Bri,” Justin informed him. “Hunter’s response was the problem. Hunter says he was just being nice to his boy-friend’s sister, and Malcolm thought he was being too nice to his boy-friend’s sister. They kept arguing about it till they broke up.”

“But you got it all patched up in two hours,” Brian responded, “And I bet you’re not going to tell me how.”

“Trade secret,” Justin told him.

“So what’s the problem now?” Brian wondered. “Or is your patch failing?”

“Justin Taylor’s patches do not fail,” Justin bragged. “But new problems can still arise. Penelope is coming to Pittsburgh.”

“I don’t think I need to meet her,” Brian pointed out.

“Oh, maybe you do,” Justin insisted. “Hunter and Malcolm both think she’s coming up here to make a play for Hunter, and they don’t know what to do.”

“Can’t the great Justin Taylor solve the problem as always?” Brian asked. “I’m sure you’ll figure it out and save the day.”

“Brian,” Justin pleaded. “Your loving and loveable boy-friend needs help. So how about some help? Please.”

“Mikey doesn’t trust me to meddle in these things,” Brian recalled. “Remember what he told me last time around.”

“Brian, Honey,” Justin told him. “Mikey and Ben still don’t know what the problem was, so they don’t know that there is a problem now. We are going to have to work things out. So do some thinking.”

“You don’t think Hunter is hetero or bi, do you?” Brian wanted to know.

“I don’t think so,” Justin answered. “But Hunter and Malcolm are too immature to deal with Penelope. She’s really a handful. Way too much for them.”

“But not for us, I guess. How old is Penelope?” Brian asked.

“Probably about seventeen,” Justin figured. “She’s younger than Abelard. But she’s an old seventeen, Brian.”

“Well maybe I could make a play for her while she’s here?” Brian conjectured. “I could take her mind off Hunter for a few days.”

“Bad idea,” Justin decided. “Who would get us fixed up afterwards? Anyhow, what would a seventeen year old want with an old guy like you? And what the hell would you want with a seventeen year old?”

“Can’t imagine,” Brian reconsidered. “Seventeen year olds are so much smarter now though than they were just a few years ago, I figure. But maybe you should make the play for her instead of me.”

“You might be sorry,” Justin pointed out with a smile. “But I don’t think that’s a really viable option either, Sweetheart. Any other suggestions?”

“Call Daphne,” Brian advised. “And maybe I could call Abelard.”

“That’s a really good idea, Bri,” Justin enthused. “I’ll call her tomorrow. You are going to help then? You’ll help too. I knew you would. We’ll work it all out tomorrow. Brian Kinney is always there when he’s needed.”

“Yeah,” Brian allowed. “Brian Kinney’s always there to help the great Justin Taylor when things get too hot for little Justin to handle himself.”

“You can’t hurt my feelings, Bri,” Justin whispered, cuddling just a little closer. “So forget it if that’s what you’re trying.”

“I know I can’t hurt your feelings when you want something,” Brian grinned. “So what do you want now?”

”Just a loving and loveable boy-friend,” Justin grinned back.

“You got it,” Brian told him.


	132. Chapter 132 - A Pat on the Back

The fireplace was lit and the guys were in position. Brian had waited for the right moment to ask the kid a question. This seemed to be it.

“Did you see Mikey at all today?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Justin told him. “I stopped over to the store this morning. I had some ideas about Rage I wanted to bounce off him so I stopped in. He seemed OK to me. What’s the problem?”

“Is Rage all you talked about?” Brian pursued his questioning.

“Yeah,” Justin replied. “I think so. I might have mentioned that it was raining or something like that. What’s up, Bri? Nothing went on that would matter to you.”

“I don’t know,” Brian explained. “I had a message on my voice mail from Mikey. All he said was ‘Thank you for siccing Boy Wonder on me.” I couldn’t get him back. Who do you suppose ‘Boy Wonder’ could be?”

“Well he always calls me ‘Boy Wonder’ but I don’t know what he could be talking about,” Justin insisted. “You certainly didn’t sic me onto him, and we didn’t argue about anything. He liked my ideas about Rage. I don’t know what ‘Boy Wonder’ he’s talking about. Why would you sic anybody on him in the first place?”

“That’s what I don’t know,” Brian responded. “I talked to him yesterday and he was OK. He didn’t take my advice but he hardly ever does anyhow so that couldn’t be it.”

“Well he should take your advice, Brian,” Justin assured him. “You’re smart and you have good ideas. I always take your advice.”

Brian laughed a bit at that remark. “Well I tried to reason with Mikey,” he recounted, “But it didn’t do any good at all.”

“Oh gosh, Bri,” Justin smiled, looking a little sheepish, “Did it have anything to do with Hunter?”

“Yeah, it did,” Brian told him. “Malcolm is going to some summer theater camp in the Catskills for six weeks and he wants Hunter to go too. Ben thought it was OK but Mikey didn’t like the idea so they told Hunter he couldn’t go. I told Mikey he was an over-protective parent and he ought to let the kid go. It would be good for him. Nothing is gonna happen up there that doesn’t happen here. But I couldn’t budge him. When Mikey makes up his mind, it’s made up.”

“Well that subject did come up, Bri,” Justin remembered, “But I didn’t know you had talked to Mikey about it. You didn’t tell me.”

“Well it wasn’t important so I guess I just forgot,” Brian replied. “I don’t see how that would prompt the message I got from Michael though. What do you think? I guess I’ll just have to wait until I talk to Michael. I don’t think he was mad or anything but it was a strange message, I think.”

“I don’t know, Brian,” Justin told him, “But you must have convinced Mikey yesterday because I think Hunter is going with Malcolm.”

“No, I didn’t, Kiddo,” Brian decided, “But you probably did. You worked your magic on Michael. I want to know how you did it?”

“I’m sure you must have convinced him, Brian,” Justin insisted. “He probably thought over what you told him and decided you were right.”

“What did you tell him, Twink,” Brian demanded. “I’m going to try to find out your secret.”

“I just told him it would do Hunter a lot of good to go to the camp,” Justin recounted. “Hunter is in acting at the Performing Arts High School and he wants to be an actor, so this would be a good experience for him.”

“I told him that,” Brian said. “That didn’t work. What else did you tell him?”

“I guess I told him that he seemed to like Malcolm as Hunter’s boy friend and that their being together at camp shouldn’t be a problem,” Justin continued. “I told him if they were separated for six weeks, one of them might find somebody else and Mikey might not like how that turns out. Hunter could do a lot worse than Malcolm.”

“I told him that too,” Brian remembered, “But when he left he said he still didn’t want Hunter to go.”

“Well I figure I just reinforced what you had already told him,” Justin remarked. “See how we think alike. I reinforced what you told him. I’m sure it was you who convinced him though. He probably would have called you to tell you he changed his mind even if I hadn’t talked to him.”

Brian thought about that for a while, then he laughed. “Well I think you did it, Baby,” he told the kid. “But maybe I’m glad you did. At least I’m not the only one who always does what you want. Poor Mikey is a victim too. But I don’t understand how you could use the same arguments I did and convince him when he wouldn’t budge for me. Are you sure that’s all you told him?”

“Geez, Bri,” Justin protested. “This seems like an inquisition. I told Mikey the same things as you did. You shouldn’t be picking on me for agreeing with you. You should be giving me a pat on the back instead of picking on me.”

Brian didn’t have an answer for that so he gave the kid a light pat on the back and a period of silence ensued.

Brian eventually resumed the discussion. “Are you sure you didn’t tell Mikey anything else to convince him to let Hunter go?” he pressed Justin.

“What else could I have told him?” Justin countered.

“Well I was just wondering about the message that I sicced you on him,” Brian explained. “That doesn’t fit in at all. You know Mikey is going to tell me how you changed his mind. If you’re holding out on me, I’m going to find out. Are you sure there’s nothing else to tell?”

“Please, Bri,” Justin asked him, “Can’t you leave well enough alone? You talked Mikey into letting Hunter go, and that’s that. Isn’t that enough?”

“It would be enough if that’s what happened,” Brian agreed, “But that’s not what happened. I’d rather have you tell me than Mikey.”

“You’ll get mad at me,” Justin pleaded. “I didn’t know you were involved in this at all. I love you, Brian. I don’t want you to get mad at me.”

“Justin Taylor,” Brian told him. “If you don’t know that I could never get mad at you, I haven’t done my job very well. But I am curious. What the hell did you tell Mikey to make him change his mind?”

“Do I have to tell?” Justin moaned.

“Tell,” Brian ordered.

“Shit, Brian,” Justin mumbled. “I reminded him I was just a little older than Hunter when I met you.”

Brian surprised Justin by responding with laughter. “You little rat,” he howled. “You scared Mikey with the vision of a sexual predator out there waiting for Hunter. That is really funny.”

“You’re not mad?” Justin asked tentatively.

“No, Baby,” Brian was still laughing. “I’m not mad. You’re just funny. Maybe that’s why I love you back.”

“Well I am sorry Brian. I guess I don’t really deserve a pat on the back for this performance,” Justin concluded.

“Oh I wouldn’t say that,” Brian smiled at him. “You probably do deserve a pat on the back – just a little bit harder and a little bit lower than you were expecting.”


	133. Chapter 133 - By the Beautiful Sea

All was quiet in the loft with the two inhabitants comfortably ensconced in front of their fake fireplace. Not a word had been spoken in the half hour since they had placed themselves there. It looked like a peaceful pleasant evening was ahead. Then Brian spoke two words.

 

“Atlantic City,” he said.

 

“Atlantic City?” Justin echoed “Like in New Jersey? That Atlantic City?”

 

“You get an ‘A’ in geography, Sunshine,” Brian confirmed. “Just like in New Jersey. By the beautiful sea. Wanna go?”

 

“Atlantic City?” Justin repeated slowly.

 

“You get an ‘A’ in hearing too, Baby,” Brian said. “That’s what I said. I also said ‘Wanna go?”

 

“You’re asking me if I want to go to Atlantic City?” Justin seemed to have some problem speaking.

 

“Geez, you’re quick on the draw too, Kiddo,” Brian laughed. “I ask you three times and you finally seem to get it. I’m asking if you want to go to Atlantic City.”

 

“Sorry, Brian,” Justin apologized unapologetically. “There are a lot of things you could say that would surprise me, and that’s one of them. Even a mind as sharp as mine takes a while to process that.”

 

“What’s the matter with a week-end in Atlantic City? Don’t you think we could have some fun there?” Brian wondered. “Or are you worried that the sharks might get you – or me, considering you’re the big swimming champion.”

 

“Well I’m not worried about the sharks in the ocean,” Justin stated confidently. “I could scare them off. No old shark is going to bite into my guy. My guy’s mine. I’m not sure about the sharks at the casinos, though. But I bet I could scare them off too if I had to.”

 

“Do you want to go is really the question I asked you,” Brian reminded him.

 

“If you want to go, Honey,” Justin smiled, “Then I want to go too. But you already knew that as well as I do. What I don’t know is why you want to go. Atlantic City is so not Brian Kinney. There is a story here that I don’t know and I guess you’re going to tell me – right now, I bet.”

 

“Well it does so happen that there is a little bit of a background story,” Brian laughed, “And I guess I don’t have much choice about telling you so listen up. I didn’t know this but Mikey has been in contact with his dad. Mikey got this letter yesterday from him. He’s playing some club in Atlantic City this week-end and he wants Mikey to come down. So he and Ben are going. Ben is as surprised as me about it. He didn’t know Mikey was in contact with his father either. Mikey’s kind of nervous about meeting the old man and he wants me – or actually us – to go along. You’ll be doing Mikey a favor by going. And that’s the story. So do we go?”

 

“Of course, we go,” Justin replied. “You want to go and I’m glad to tag along as moral support. Mikey will be so glad to have you with him. Are Hunter and Malcolm going too?”

 

“No,” Brian answered. “Mikey asked them but they said they couldn’t get away.”

 

“That seems funny to me,” Justin wondered. “Seems to me they’d want to go to Atlantic City more than any of us.”

 

“Maybe this time I get to tell know-it-all Taylor something,” Brian chortled. “I think they want to stay here to get some time without Mikey watching their every move.”

 

“But they won’t do anything different than if he was here,” Justin reasoned.

 

“Would you want Father Michael watching your every move and checking on you all the time?” Brian wanted to know.

 

“I guess I wouldn’t,” It was Justin’s turn to chortle. “He never did that with me. I figure he always trusted me. But I guess you’re speaking from experience.”

 

“You are still a brat, my little Twink,” Brian told him, “But I guess I’m glad you are my little Twink.”

 

“Suits me,” Justin responded and silence returned to the loft. Apparently the issue of Atlantic City was settled.

 

Finally, Brian broke the silence. “You are a brat,” he told the kid. “A genuine first-class brat.”

 

“I thought we established that already,” Justin yawned.

 

“You weren’t surprised at all about Mikey’s father, Twink. You knew all the time that Mikey was in contact with his dad, didn’t you?” Brian accused him. “And I’ll bet you knew about Atlantic City too. It’s probably you Mikey wants to be with him and not me. Can you deny that?”

 

“Well,” Justin responded, looking innocent, “I can deny a lot of it. I did not know about Atlantic City, and I’m sure it’s you that Mikey needs and not me. I don’t know why you always think the worst of me anyhow?”

 

“Oh I can’t imagine why I always think the worst of you, Baby,” Brian laughed. “Except that I’m usually right when I do. So you did know that Mike was corresponding with his father?”

 

“Yeah,” Justin admitted. “We did talk about it a couple of times. He asked me what I thought and I told him I thought he should maintain the contact. I told him that both of us missed a relationship with our fathers in some ways, and that we regretted it. He had no relationship with his father – ever – and this was his chance.”

 

“You told him I missed a relationship with my father?” Brian objected. “I don’t think so.”

 

“I think that needs to be a separate argument, Bri,” Justin told him.

 

“OK,” Brian agreed. “I’m afraid I’ll lose that one and I stand a good chance of winning this one. Why did Mikey talk to you and not to me about his father, or don’t I want to know?”

 

“He thought you’d tell him he was pathetic,” Justin responded.

 

“I probably would have,” Brian laughed. “I guess Mikey knows what he’s doing all right. And I guess I’m losing this argument too.”

 

“Not at all, Honey,” Justin told him. “You’re the clear winner.”

 

“Maybe I am,” Brian allowed. “But not of the argument.” Brian squeezed the kid a little harder and Justin rubbed his head against Brian’s cheek. Silence took over once again.

 

“Baby,” Brian eventually said to Justin. “Everybody in the world comes to you for advice when they have problems, and you always help them out. Who do you go to when you have problems?”

 

“That’s really a dumb question, Brian,” Justin nuzzled him. “I always come right to you. You always help me as much as I ever help anybody else. And you never tell me I’m pathetic.”

 

“Maybe because you’re never pathetic?” Brian suggested.

 

“Yeah, I’m pathetic sometimes,” Justin informed him. “But you never seem to notice.”

 

”Wonder why?” Brian wondered.

 

“I don’t have a clue, “ Justin lied.


	134. Chapter 134 - Sportsmanship

The guys had experienced a long hard day and they were very glad to be sitting on the floor together watching their fireplace. Eighteen holes of golf and a couple of sets of tennis had left both of these warriors kind of drained. They were very tired – but also very happy, as they always were when they were together.

 

Justin raised his head from where it was resting on Brian’s shoulder. “Brian,” he asked, “Do you love me?”

 

Brian looked at him quizzically. “Oh, so now we’re playing Jeopardy, are we?” he replied. “Well then the question is ‘What is the title of a song from Fiddler on the Roof?’ … Wait a minute. Don’t tell me, Baby. You don’t need to go any further. Crazy Malcolm is going to put on Fiddler and he wants me for Tevya. Right? And you’re gonna make me do it? Or at least try your hardest? And you always know you’ll get what you want.”

 

“Cut it out, Bri,” Justin ordered. “You’re just trying to change the subject and it’s not going to work. Malcolm is not putting on Fiddler and you couldn’t play Tevya anyhow. You’re way too young. And I can’t make you do anything you don’t want to do either, but you can get me all riled up and you do, and you’re not getting away with it.”

 

“I can see that I’m not,” Brian soothed, “But there are certain rules we have, set up by you I might add, that it seemed to me like you were about to break. I know you wouldn’t want to break your own rules so I was just trying to help.”

 

“Brian Kinney,’ Justin tried to clarify matters. “I know the rules. It is not allowed to discuss who won, but it is not against the rules to discuss the games themselves. And why do you think that’s what I was going to do anyhow? All I asked was if you loved me.”

 

“But I know you’re setting something up,” Brian told him. “You even said I was too young to play Tevya. That’s the first time you ever said I was too young for anything. I’m sorry if I’m a little bit suspicious. Yeah, I love you and you know it, and you knew it before you asked the question. So go ahead, Baby. Drop the anvil.”

 

“Well,” Justin went ahead a bit slowly, ”There were two things today that I was wondering about. Remember when I sliced the ball so bad into the rough on seven, today?”

 

“Yeah,” Brian smiled.

 

“Brian, you’re smiling now,” Justin accused him. “That’s what I wanted to ask about. I hit that slice, and you were smiling when I looked over at you. If you love somebody, you always want the best for them. Were you glad I sliced that ball? And you did the same thing later when I fell over the net on the tennis court. Except that you were almost laughing then. It was worse even than the slice.”

 

“Not worse, Honey,” Brian smiled even more widely. “Just funnier. Funny is funny. I think it might have even been funnier because I love you so much. But we’re in competition out there, Baby. That’s just a man thing – and we are men, you know. I want you always to play the best you can and that’s what I root for. I just want to play better than you do and win. But I love you just as much no matter who wins. That’s sportsmanship.”

 

“OK,” Justin got the point. “I can see what you’re saying and I guess that’s OK. It’s all a matter of sportsmanship and competition and stuff. I got it. But that’s just for athletics, isn’t it Bri? We would never do anything like that here. We’re not in competition here.”

 

“Never,” Brian agreed completely. “We are definitely not in competition here.”

 

“You know, Honey, I’m still glad we decided not to enter the club tournaments.” Justin returned to athletics. “That might be too tough, trying to beat you out for the club championships. That’s a good rule we made.”

 

“It is a good rule,” Brian agreed. “It would be really hard for me to try to beat you out for the club championships too. And I don’t think we made that rule just because we both know that neither of us could beat Chuck either in tennis or golf. That was certainly not why we made the rule.”

 

“Very true, Mr. Kinney,” Justin agreed. “We certainly didn’t. Chuck wasn’t the only reason we made that rule. Ted stinks at tennis but he is good enough to beat us in golf if he has a really lucky day, and I know how you’d feel to have Ted beat you at anything. I think that would test your sportsmanship more than just a little.”

 

“It probably would, Kiddo,” Brian admitted. “I guess we’re not perfect, at least I’m not. By the way, Baby, not to make any accusations, but I have really good peripheral vision. I saw you pump your fist when I missed that easy putt on fifteen.”

 

“That was only because I felt so bad for you, Bri. I was hoping so much that you’d make that putt. I felt really bad for you,” Justin smiled, resting his head back on Brian’s shoulder and thereby closing the issue.

 

There was a prolonged period of silence in the loft before Brian pulled Justin up onto his lap.

 

“I do love you,” he told the kid. “I have a lot of faults and you have maybe just a few very tiny faults but I love you just like you are. You’re the best thing that ever happened in my life.” Then he took a second look at the kid. “I think you’re crying,” he added.

 

“Allergies,” Justin explained. “Must be your shaving lotion.”

 

“I don’t have any shaving lotion on,” Brian informed him.

 

“Must be your lack of shaving lotion,” Justin maintained, and then changing the subject told the big guy, “But, Brian, you’re the best thing that ever happened in my life too. That was the luckiest night of my life when I saw you outside of Babylon.”

 

“Actually,” Brian tried to be more precise. “I saw you first. I was over in the dark and you were under the lamppost so I saw you first.”

 

“I think I really saw you first when you came out the door of Babylon, Honey,” Justin remembered, “Before you slipped into the darkness. That’s when I decided you were the only guy in the world for me.”

 

“OK,” Brian gave up. “In the true spirit of sportsmanship, I’ll let you go on thinking that you saw me first.”

 

“Thanks, Bri. You’re a real sport,” Justin responded with a trace of irony. He nuzzled up to Brian who was glad to reciprocate.

 

Conversation died hard in front of the fireplace. There were pauses of various lengths but eventually one of the guys got to thinking, and the talking resumed.

 

“So you really think I’d be too young to play Tevya?” Brian asked the kid.

 

“Oh yeah,” Justin allowed, “And Don Quixote too. I told Malcolm if he put those on, I wouldn’t get you to play either role.”

 

“You wouldn’t ‘get’ me to play either role?” Brian came back at him. “Did I hear you right: ‘You wouldn’t get me to play either role?’”

 

“Maybe you’re older than I thought and your hearing is failing, Sweetheart,” Justin responded. “What I said was that I would bet you wouldn’t want to play either role.”

 

“That’s a good bet, Baby,” Brian told him, “Since I have told you a thousand times that I don’t want to play any role. But I’m glad you think I’m too young for something. Every once in a while I worry about our age difference.”

 

“Forget that, Bri,” Justin. “I have decided that we’re the same age. Our lives both started when I saw you first, coming out of Babylon. So that makes us the same age – even if I do sometimes kid you about being older. I love you, Brian. That’s why I kid you.” Then he looked up at Brian. “Are you crying, Brian?” he asked. “Are those really tears in your eyes?”

 

“Your allergies must be contagious,” Brian reasoned.

 

“Allergies are not contagious, Bri,” Justin maintained.

 

“Well you are so special, Baby, that you just might have special allergies and they might be contagious,” Brian argued. “And anyhow, even if I was crying, I made you cry earlier tonight.”

 

”Well maybe so, Bri,” Justin argued back, “But it’s harder to make you cry than it is me so ….”

 

“Shut up, Twink,” Brian interrupted, “And stay shut up. That is an absolute order.’

 

“Yes Sir,” Justin complied. He was smiling when he said it. So was Brian.


	135. Chapter 135 - What I Want

Justin sat himself down on the floor next to Brian and facing the fake flames of the very useful fireplace. Justin was counting on the fire working its magic on this particular night.

 

“Brian,” he began his well-rehearsed speech. “There has been something bothering me for the last week or so and I need to talk to you about it, OK?”

 

“Since last Thursday, I’d guess,” Brian replied. “I think it’s been bothering you since last Thursday.”

 

“How did you know that?” Justin was surprised. “You’re right but how did you know?”

 

“Because I know you. Baby,” Brian told him. “You think you know me pretty well so why wouldn’t I know you too? I didn’t say anything because I knew you’d come to me if you needed me.”

 

“Please don’t get mad at me, Bri, but, you know I always want your advice,” Justin kind of stammered. “Well this time I didn’t want your advice because I didn’t want to take the advice I thought you’d give me, and now I’ve made up my mind and I’m not changing it, OK?”

 

“Maybe I don’t have to know what it is, Baby,” Brian suggested, “Since you already think you know what my advice will be and you don’t want to take it, and you’ve already made up your mind anyway?”

 

“Oh you have to know all right,” Justin assured him. “You’re sure to find out and you’d be mad if I didn’t tell you, and there’s something I want you to do too, but I don’t want your advice. I do have to tell you but it’s not going to be easy so don’t make it any harder for me, please.”

 

“I don’t think I could make it any harder for you than you’re making it for yourself,” Brian smiled at him. “I love you, Baby, but I also respect you so I imagine I can live with your decision even if it isn’t what I would advise. If it’s something dangerous though, I’m going to argue with you, you can depend on that.”

 

“Well it’s not exactly dangerous,” Justin informed him, “So are you saying you won’t argue with me?”

 

“I don’t think that’s what I’m saying,” Brian responded, “But I know you struggled with this decision and I’ll help any way I can, if you ever get around to telling me what it is.”

 

“Remember when I had those paintings in the Gay and Lesbian Center charity auction, Bri,” Justin began his story. “Remember they all sold for more than they were worth to the same guy?”

 

“I remember they were all bought by the same guy and we didn’t know him, Kiddo,” Brian said, “But I don’t think he paid more than they were worth. They were very good. Sorry if I seem to be arguing with you.”

 

“That’s OK, Honey,” Justin told him. “Well those paintings somehow got to New York to some art gallery up there and they sold for five times what the guy paid here.”

 

“Which proves I’m right about him getting a bargain,” Brian reiterated. “I guess I know my art.”

 

“Yeah, you do,” Justin cajoled. “Brian, this guy from the art gallery wants more of my stuff.”

 

“Can’t blame him for that,” Brian replied. “My advice would be to send him more and charge him five times what they got at the exhibit here – or maybe more. Why wouldn’t you want my advice about that?”

 

“Cause that’s not all, Brian,” Justin went on. “He wanted me to move to New York, Brian. He said I could have a great career up there and it would be a lot better if I lived up there too.”

 

“Wow,” Brian was more than a little taken aback.

 

“And I told him ‘No’, Bri,” Justin continued. “I told him that Pittsburgh was my home and that Pittsburgh is where my life is, and I didn’t want to move. He was disappointed but he still wants my stuff.”

 

“Is this art gallery guy reputable?” Brian wanted to know.

 

“Yeah, I think so,” Justin replied. “Linz checked him out and a couple of the teachers at school know him. They said he’s really into the art scene up there.”

 

“And they figured you ought to go?” Brian surmised.

 

“Yeah,” Justin muttered. “The teachers said it was a great opportunity and Linz thought it would give me a good start on a career.”

 

“Don’t you think you maybe ought to give it a try then?” Brian questioned him. “It’s what you’ve always wanted.”

 

“That’s not exactly right, Brian,” Justin told him. “I want to work at my art and I want to be a success. But what I really want is you. I don’t want to move to New York.”

 

“You would still have me, Baby,” Brian responded. “You would always have me. We might spend a little more time apart but New York is not so far. We could get together almost every week, and we could talk on the phone and stuff like that.”

 

“Brian,” Justin moaned, “You’re giving me advice.”

 

“Not advice, Kiddo,” Brian disagreed. “Not advice at all. Just exploring alternatives.”

 

“That’s pretty much like advice, Honey,” Justin reasoned. “Remember when I almost went to Dartmouth and was going to give up my art entirely. You told me I should do what I really wanted to do. That’s what I did then and that’s what I’m doing now.”

 

“It’s not quite the same though,” Brian pursued his point. “That was an either/or deal and this isn’t. You can have me and your art too.”

 

“Yeah I can,” Justin insisted, “And that’s what I’m going to do, but in the order I want them, you first, art second. It’ll work out, Brian. Believe me it will.” And that caused the discussion to stall and silence to come into the loft. Justin thought that Brian was holding him just a little tighter than usual and he took that as a good sign.

 

Brian spoke eventually. “Didn’t you say there was something you wanted me to do, Baby?” he asked the kid.

 

“Yeah,” Justin answered. “I need to go up to New York for a couple of days sometime soon to make a few arrangements. If you could possibly take a couple of days off, would you come with me? I want your advice.”

 

“Sometimes,” Brian laughed. “You want my advice sometimes. I’ll take whatever time off is necessary to go with you. I think you know that it’s you first and advertising second with me.”

 

“But that’s not what you would have advised me if I had asked you for advice, which I didn’t,” Justin countered. “Just why is that?”

 

“Because I want the best for you,” Brian told him.

 

“But you don’t want the best for yourself?” Justin took the offensive.

 

“Shut up, Twink,” Brian ordered. “You’re getting things your way. Isn’t that enough?”

 

“Yeah,” Justin cuddled up closer. “I guess so. But I’ll bet you’d have missed me if I’d have moved to New York.”

 

“What makes you think that?” Brian laughed.


	136. Chapter 136 - Seating Arrangements

It was August and it was hot in Pittsburgh. Brian had lit the fireplace and was sitting in front of it alone while Justin dawdled in the kitchen.

 

“Get in here, Sunshine,” Brian called out. “There is a reserved seat for you right here on the floor next to the biggest stud on Liberty Avenue. If you don’t come in here and fill it, maybe somebody else will.”

 

“I better hurry then,” Justin called back. “I want to see who the biggest stud on Liberty Avenue is.” Justin came in and plopped himself on the floor next to Brian. “Hi Brian,” he said, “I was wondering who was in here in your reserved seat. But are you sure you want to sit in front of the fireplace tonight? Today is the hottest day this summer.”

 

“Baby,” Brian reasoned. “The loft is air-conditioned and the fireplace gives off no heat, so I don’t see the problem.”

 

“You want to tell me something, Brian,” Justin responded. “That could be the problem. You want to tell me something and maybe I don’t want to hear it because I’m already in such a good mood.”

 

“Well maybe I want to ask you something,” Brian told the kid. “Maybe that’s all I want to do.”

 

“So go ahead and ask,” Justin surrendered. “Ruin my mood.”

 

“I promise I won’t ruin your mood,” Brian assured him. “You know the Pirates are having a great big give-away night next Thursday with fireworks after the game. Did you buy tickets for that game and are you planning to ‘surprise’ me?”

 

“No and no,” Justin told him.

 

“You don’t want to go to the game?” Brian was a bit surprised.

 

“I didn’t say that, “ Justin clarified his position. “It’s just that I’m trying to grow up and not be dragging you places you don’t want to go to. So I’m going to skip the game. I’m not a kid anymore.”

 

“Did I say I didn’t want to go to the game?” Brian answered. “I do not recall saying I did not want to go to the game. Nor do I remember saying I didn’t like you being a kid.”

 

“Well you don’t want to go to the game anyway,” Justin insisted, “So I didn’t get tickets and now they’re all sold out so don’t tell me that you want to go to the game cause that will really ruin my good mood.”

 

“Well I do want to go to the game and I’m going to the game, I think, and so are you,” Brian explained. “I’m throwing a little party for you at the ball park. I got Applegate’s private luxury box for the night. Twelve seats. You pick who we invite to go.”

 

“You’re kidding?” Justin gulped. “Why are you having a party for me?”

 

“Maybe to celebrate you being in a good mood for a change,” Brian said, “Or maybe because I love you.”

 

“I like the second reason best,” Justin decided. “Well, let’s see who I’ll pick to invite, Mikey and Ben, Hunter and Malcolm, Emmett and Ted, Ethan and Tom, Chuck,….”

 

“Whoa, Baby,” Brian interrupted, “I was presuming that Brian Kinney would be invited.”

 

“Of course, Brian Kinney will be invited,” Justin gushed. “He can even sit next to me if he wants to.”

 

“Well you’re in charge of the seating arrangements, Kiddo,” Brian stated. “So I’ll sit wherever you put me.”

 

“Wouldn’t you be disappointed if I sat you somewhere else?” Justin replied, just a bit smugly.

 

“Well it might be fun to sit between Mikey and Ben, Brian suggested. “Ben knows a lot about baseball and Mikey and I can talk about the old days at Forbes Field.”

 

“OK, Kinney,” Justin countered. “You are as old as the hills but you’re still too young to have been to Forbes Field. You went to Three Rivers Stadium just like I did. And you can’t sit between Mikey and Ben because they love each other and so they’ll want to sit together,”

 

“You’re right, Baby,” Brian allowed. “Mikey and Ben love each other more than any couple I can think of,”

 

“Brian Kinney - and I’d put your middle name in there too if it wouldn’t make me laugh,” Justin gritted his teeth, “You’re the only person who could get those tickets and throw a party for somebody who loves you more than anything else in the world, and still ruin his good mood.”

 

“So you’re saying I’m pretty talented, eh?” Brian came back. “I guess I should thank you for the compliment.”

 

“You win, Brian,” Justin gave up. “But only because I love you too much to argue with you. And you will sit next to me at the game and with any luck, and of course with me there to protect you, you will not fall out of the box and down three tiers on top of some poor fans down there.”

 

“It’s your party,” Brian assured him. “Whatever it takes for you to have fun. Don’t I always do whatever it takes for you to have fun?”

 

“Cut it out, Bri,” Justin smiled as he snuggled up to the biggest stud on Liberty Avenue (retired). So the discussion went on hiatus while the guys communicated in other ways.

 

“Brian,” Justin broke the silence. “You are really so good to me. I am serious about growing up and not trying to con you into doing stuff just because I want to.”

 

“Well that’ll take some getting used to,” Brian responded. “But you can try it and if I don’t like it, I can tell you.”

 

“Oh yeah,” Justin agreed. “If you don’t like it you can tell me. Don’t you always?”

 

“It’s going to be strange though,” Brian posited, ignoring Justin’s provocation, “Not wondering what surprise you have up your sleeve.”

 

”Well maybe it would be a good idea to go through the change gradually,” Justin suggested. “Like just maybe a few surprises every once in a while.”

 

“Like the one you’re planning to spring right now?” Brian asked him.

 

“It’s not a surprise, Bri,” Justin objected. “It’s a suggestion. Only a suggestion and it’s two weeks away so I’m just bringing up the subject. That’s not a surprise.”

 

“No, it’s not a surprise,” Brian agreed. “It really isn’t.”

 

“Well I thought we’d go to Kennywood for Gay and Lesbian Day like we did last year,” Justin told him.

 

“I think we should,” Brian immediately concurred. “And I also think we should take Gus up early and let him do Kiddieland and then meet Mel and Linz about 2:00, just like you already arranged it.”

 

“How did you know that?” Justin choked. “Mel and Linz were the only ones who knew and they’d never tell you.”

 

“Gus,” Brian said. “Gus knew all the details. It’s amazing what kids know about trips to amusement parks.”

 

“Gee whiz,” Justin sighed. “Another spy for Brian Kinney loose in the world. But it’ll be fun, Brian. After Gus goes with Linz and Mel we can ride the coasters.”

 

”I guess I’ll have to sit with that nerdy kid who hangs on to me for dear life and pretends he isn’t scared,” Brian conjectured.

 

“That so-called nerdy kid is holding on to you for dear life, Mr. Kinney, only for your own protection,” Justin announced, “Only to make sure you don’t fall out. You need constant protection, in case you don’t know it.”

 

“Well I admit you’re always there to protect me, whether I need it or not, or whether I want it or not. So that’s why you’re always hanging on to me. And that’s the only reason, I suppose?” Brian did not really suppose.

 

“Well it’s a reason,” Justin smiled at him, “But maybe not the only reason. I wish you’d quit complaining.”

 

”I wasn’t complaining at all,” Brian told him. “In fact, if you want to practice hanging on to me for dear life, now might be a good time.”

 

Justin decided that was a very good idea. Brian wondered who was going to protect him. Justin read his thoughts. “Hire a bodyguard,” he suggested. For reasons of his own, Brian ignored that advice.


	137. Chapter 137 - Advice and Consent

The guys had just settled down in front of their fake fireplace as was their custom several times a week. They seemed to find it easier to talk to each other while facing the flitting fake flames. So Brian had waited till they were thus positioned before he took up a subject that was on his mind.

 

“You know how we always say we can talk to each other about anything?” Brian kind of asked the kid.

 

“Yeah,” Justin responded.

 

“I guess that doesn’t mean that we have to talk to each other about everything?” Brian conjectured further.

 

“But we do tell each other everything, don’t we?” Justin protested. “I don’t think we should keep any secrets from each other. Except maybe what we got each other for presents and stuff like that.”

 

“I guess we probably shouldn’t keep any secrets, Baby,” Brian agreed, “Except when we get surprise presents for each other.”

 

“What’s up, Bri?” Justin returned the questioning. “Is something bothering you?”

 

“Not at all, Kiddo,” Brian replied. “I was just wondering about your meeting Emmett tomorrow for lunch and shopping. You don’t really admire Emmett’s taste very much and I was kind of surprised when you told me that you’d be going shopping with him. It made me think maybe there was something you weren’t telling me. Geez, I hope you’re not going shopping with Emmett to buy me a surprise present. I think I’d rather you went by yourself to do that – not that anything you’d pick out with Emmett’s help wouldn’t be likely to be a real surprise.”

 

“Shit, Bri,” Justin gave up. “I think I was going to tell you. It’s not really a secret. Well it is kind of a secret but I could tell you. I’m sure I was going to tell you once the fireplace was lit. You didn’t give me a chance. It’s really nothing important. Emmett got this new job, you know about that, and he’s decided he needs to buy a car. He wanted me to go along with him for back-up. Two heads are better than one.”

 

“So what about Ted?” Brian wanted to know. “Aren’t three heads better than two?”

 

“Maybe,” Justin admitted, “But Emmett thinks Ted is too straight-laced, you know, the accountant type, and Emm thinks he might want something with a little flair. That’s what made him think of me. He thought Mikey would be too conservative too.”

 

“I guess he never even considered taking me?” Brian wondered. “I’m not all that conservative, and I do the advertising for some of the car dealers so I might be able to get him a good deal.”

 

“Actually, I did suggest that,” Justin said, “And Emm said you could come if you wanted to.”

 

“Twink, you are not telling me the whole story about this,” Brian accused Justin. “So you are keeping something secret. I’m pretty sure you and Emmett are not planning to surprise me with a new car as a present. You’re too smart for that. You told me why Emmett doesn’t want Ted or Mikey along. Why doesn’t he want me?”

 

“You are a tough character, Kinney,” Justin pointed out. “I want to tell you everything. I really do. And I do tell you everything – most of the time. Just that it’s hard sometime to figure out how to tell you some things.”

 

“Maybe you could just say it straight out,” Brian suggested. “I’m tough, like you always say. I can take it.”

 

“Emmett said that if the car salesman made you mad,” Justin confessed, “That you might drive their display car through the showroom window.”

 

“Geez, it’s hard to live down those urban legends,” Brian complained.

 

“An urban legend is usually a made-up story, Honey,” Justin countered with a smile. “Now I wasn’t there myself but I think the story about you and that showroom window might actually be true.”

 

“Seems you’re always willing to believe the worst about me, Twink,” Brian grinned at him.

 

“Not any more,” Justin corrected him, cuddling up to the big guy, and the conversation trailed off at that point.

 

Eventually though, it got restarted. “Brian, I’m sorry I didn’t ask you to come with me and Emm tomorrow to look at the new cars,” Justin told Brian. “I wish you would come. You’d be a big help.”

 

“Before or after I drove a vehicle through the showroom window?” Brian laughed. “No, Baby, I don’t think I ought to go. And you don’t have to feel guilty for not asking me. In fact, not asking me could be thought of as a surprise present for me, so you really didn’t have to tell me at all if you didn’t want to.”

 

“Are you sure you don’t want to come?” Justin asked for confirmation.

 

“Yeah, I’m very sure,” Brian replied, still kind of laughing. “I give my full consent to you giving Emmett our advice. I don’t want the job of trying to talk him out of a sky-blue pink convertible with a green stripe so I’ll leave that to you.”

 

“Sky-blue pink with a green stripe,” Justin marveled. “If I see a car like that, I think I’d buy it for us.”

 

“If I thought there was any danger of that,” Brian assured him, “I would be there with you whether you wanted me or not. But if Emm decides what he wants, don’t make any deals right on the spot. I might be able to get him a better price than what you’re offered.”

 

“You know what, Bri?” Justin told him. “You are the absolutely greatest guy in the world.”

 

“That must not be a secret if you’re telling me,” Brian taunted a bit.

 

“Cut it out, Bri,” Justin demanded. “No picking on me allowed. But I guess it really isn’t a secret that you’re the absolutely greatest guy in the world, even if most people don’t know it.”

 

“Cut it out yourself, Twink,” Brian retorted. “I don’t care if most people know I’m the greatest guy in the world. It only matters to me that you think so.”

 

“Gee whiz, Brian,” Justin told him. “It’s saying stuff like that that makes you the absolutely greatest guy in the world. You make me weak in the knees when you say stuff like that.”

 

“Baby, You really left yourself open with that last remark,” Brian advised him. “You’re lucky I’m in a mushy mood right now so I won’t take advantage of it.”

 

So there was another lull in the conversation at that point. Both the guys seemed very satisfied just to hold onto each other and watch the flickering flames.

 

It was not surprising though that it was Justin who eventually broke that spell. “Brian, since we don’t keep any secrets from each other,” he said, “Maybe you want to tell me how you knew I hadn’t told you everything about tomorrow’s shopping trip.”

 

“Well of course I want to tell you,” Brian responded with a grin. “Don’t I always tell you everything? I would be glad to tell you. But I don’t know exactly how I can tell when you’re holding back information, so I can’t tell you. Sorry, Baby.”

 

“Brian Kinney,” Justin sighed with a look of resignation on his face, “You’re very lucky that you’re the absolutely greatest guy in the world.”

 

“I know I’m lucky,” Brian responded, pulling the twink up onto his lap, and that ended the discussion with everybody happy.


	138. Chapter 138 - Sweet Dreams

The guys had been seated in front of their fake fireplace for a few hours. They had shared their experiences of the day and had made whatever plans were necessary. Finally, after all that, Justin had dozed off with his head on Brian’s shoulder. Brian liked that. He liked to look at the kid sleeping peacefully. He often thought he could just sit forever looking at the twink. But that was not to be. Justin’s eyes blinked and then opened.

 

“I fell asleep. Why didn’t you wake me up?” he asked Brian.

 

“Why would I wake you up?” Brian wanted to know. “You don’t have anyplace to go or anything special to do. I don’t mind you going to sleep with your head on my shoulder. Actually I kind of like it. That way I get to be near you and still not have to put up with you. Kind of an ideal situation.”

 

“Well that’s a nice way to describe it,” Justin growled. “Putting up with me. But I’m used to you picking on me and I know complaining won’t help. Anyhow I wish you’d have wakened me. I wasn’t dreaming about you and now that I’m awake, here you are. I don’t mind putting up with you as much as you seem to not like putting up with me. You know, I kind of like you, Mr. Kinney.”

 

“You weren’t dreaming about me?” Brian questioned, focusing on the major point of that declaration. “Why not?”

 

“Because you don’t get to pick who or what you dream about,” Justin had to smile. “If I got to pick who to dream about, I’d always pick you, and in my dreams you’d always be real nice, and then I wouldn’t want you to ever wake me up.”

 

“So you wouldn’t have to put up with the real me at all?” Brian supposed.

 

“Something like that, I guess,” Justin laughed. “That must be what they mean by ‘sweet dreams.’”

 

Brian squeezed the kid and smiled at him and they sat in quiet contentment for a while. Finally Justin got inquisitive.

 

“Do you always dream about me, Bri?” he asked. “I wish I could always dream about you.”

 

“Not always, Sunshine,” Brian allowed. “Like you said, we don’t get to pick who or what we dream about, but you know, there’s something about my dreams that seems different to me. I’ve never heard anybody talk about this, but sometimes when I’m dreaming, the people I’m dreaming about don’t really appear in the dream. It’s like there are actors taking their places.”

 

“You mean like when you dream about me, I might not be in the dream at all,” Justin asked for clarification. “I’m not sure I get what you’re talking about.”

 

“Well, the last dream I remember, some gangsters were chasing me,” Brian tried to explain, “And I’m pretty sure one of them was Edward G. Robinson.”

 

“Am I supposed to know who Edward G. Robinson is?” Justin querried.

 

“Guess not,” Brian laughed, “Considering your tender years. But E. G. Robinson was an old-time actor who played a lot of gangster roles.”

 

“Well that’s not so strange then,” Justin decided. “You were dreaming about gangsters and this Robinson guy who played a lot of gangsters came into your mind. The gangsters had to look like somebody.”

 

“Yeah,” Brian replied just a little dubiously, deciding to let the conversation about dreams die. “I guess you’re right.”

 

But Justin was just getting interested. “Was I in the dream, Bri?” Justin wanted to know. “I’ll bet I was. I’ll bet the gangsters were chasing me too. They were, weren’t they?”

 

“Yeah,” Brian answered. “You were in it, and the gangsters were chasing you too.”

 

”That’s more like it,” Justin decided. “You were at least dreaming about me. We were together. We were in that jam together.” But the look on Brian’s faced betrayed some shadow of doubt which Justin did not like. “There’s more, isn’t there, Brian? What aren’t you telling me?” he went on.

 

“It’s hard to explain,” Brian tried to explain. “Justin was in the dream all right but it wasn’t you. Somebody else was playing you.”

 

“Like Edward G. Robinson?” Justin wanted to know.

“The guy playing Justin in my dream was some guy I knew in college,” Brian admitted. “I didn’t even know him well and I haven’t heard from him or about him since we graduated.”

 

“Are you telling me you dreamed about me and I wasn’t even in the dream?” Justin exclaimed.

 

“I don’t think that’s really the best way to put it,” Brian protested.

 

“Well just how was it?” Justin insisted. “I don’t always dream about you, but when I dream about you, at least you’re in the dream. I guess you get somebody else to play me in your dreams so you don’t have to put up with me.”

 

“Baby, it’s not like I’m some casting director who picks who plays what part,” Brian defended himself. “I would like you to play yourself in all my dreams. I really would. I do kind of like you, Mr. Taylor.”

 

“Oh yeah,” Justin grouched, “But dreams are subconscious wishes and I’ll bet you were wishing I was that guy from college. Maybe you wish he was here instead of me.”

 

“And I guess I really wanted to be chased by gangsters too, Honey,” Brian reasoned. “Didn’t you say we don’t get to pick who or what we dream about?”

 

“I said that,” Justin admitted, “But I didn’t say that we get to pick who plays who in our dreams. I did not say that.”

 

“Well I can tell you that we don’t,” Brian replied. “And I can say that the guy who played you in that dream is really pretty hot.”

 

“And that’s supposed to make me feel good?” Justin countered, not liking the situation very much, but beginning to see some humor in it.

 

“It’s just that it would take some really cute guy to play Justin Taylor in a Brian Kinney dream, Baby,” Brian told him. “You can be sure of that.”

 

“Well I guess that’s some consolation,” Justin allowed with a smile. “But I hope you’ll make some effort to have me play myself in all future dreams. I’m always available for your dreams, Honey, day or night.”  
“You can be sure I’ll make every effort to do that,” Brian smiled back at him. “And you can also be sure I won’t be telling you if that college guy subs for you again.”

 

There was a short period of silence before Justin resumed the conversation. “It’s going to take a while for me to get used to the idea of somebody else playing me in some of your dreams, Bri, so if you dream about me tonight, I want to be in it.”

 

“Gee whiz, Kiddo, I can try,” Brian responded, “But I don’t see how I can promise.”

 

“Well I know one way to make absolutely sure you don’t get anybody to stand in for me tonight,” Justin told him.

 

“And how are you going to do that?” Brian wanted to know.

 

“I’m going to keep you awake all night,” Justin declared.

 

“The things I have to put up with,” Brian grinned at him.


	139. Chapter 139 - Something Different

The fireplace was lit even though the late summer sunlight was still pouring through the windows into the loft. Brian and Justin were cuddled together watching their fake fire. It was a cozy situation. Probably too good to last.

 

“Hey, Brian,” Justin broke the silence to announce. “We won’t be going to Mel and Linz’ place this Labor Day.”

 

“OK,” Brian responded. “But I see you’re making decisions for us now without even pretending to see what I think. You used to act like I had some kind of say in the matter but I suppose we’ve been together long enough now that you don’t need to bother. I guess I should have expected it.”

 

“Dammit, Brian,” Justin scowled, breaking up the cuddle and folding his arms. “You know that’s not true at all and I am not happy that you’d even think that. So if you want to go to Mel and Linz’ for Labor Day, that is just what we’ll do. I think I should warn you though that we’ll be only ones there.”

 

“And what would be so bad about that?” Brian grinned.

 

“Nothing at all,” Justin laughed, reestablishing the cuddle. “It is really hard to stay mad at you, you know.”

 

“But I bet you’ll practice till you’re real good at it,” Brian laughed back at him. “And that’s OK with me too.”

 

“Cut it out, Bri,” Justin cuddled a little closer. “Anytime you want me to get mad at you, just tell me, and I’ll try my best.”

 

“So I do get to make some of the decisions then,” Brian concluded.

 

“Except that I’ve already been mad at you once tonight and that’s enough,” Justin was still smiling, “So you can save that crap for another night.”

 

“Whatever you say,” Brian agreed.

 

“Can I tell you what the Labor Day plans are,” Justin continued, “Subject of course to your ‘veto’ since you’re the big boss around here?”

 

“Oh yeah,” Brian replied, “As if I had a choice.”

 

Justin decided to continue. “Since Mikey and Ben have the house now, they wanted to have the garden party in their back yard this year.” He told Brian, “The gang thought that it would be enough for Ben and Mikey to do the holiday decorations and others would do the food preparation. Vic and Emmett are doing part of it, and if Your Highness decides that we can go, we are to do some of the cooking too. Honey, it’s not definite. If there’s something else you have planned to do or want to do, that’s what we’ll do.”

 

“Baby, if you want to go,” Brian squeezed the kid, “Then that’s what I want to do too. You know that as well as I do. But you also know you can’t count on me for much help with the cooking. That just ain’t my strong point.”

 

“OK then,” Justin seemed satisfied. “We’ll go and we’ll get the food prepared too.”

 

“If you can do that without help,” Brian repeated.

 

“Honey, I will have some help,” Justin informed him. “Didn’t I tell you that your mother is going to come over and help with the preparation?”

 

It was Brian’s turn to break the cuddle, and fold his arms. “No, you didn’t tell me and ‘No’ you didn’t forget either.” Brian groused. “You are guilty of deliberate obfuscation, Twink.”

 

Justin tried with some success to reestablish the cuddle. “Well I didn’t really mean to be an obfuscator. Are you mad at me, Honey?” He asked.

 

“Nah,” Brian assured him. “That doesn’t really work. But why would my mother be coming over here to help with the food preparation when she won’t be at the party?”

 

“Maybe because she’s a nice lady and she wants to help,” Justin began.

 

“And maybe because she is going to be at the party,” Brian finished for him. “Right?”

 

“Well you didn’t want her to be alone on Labor Day,” Justin pointed out. “Debbie said to bring her. Clare and the kids will be out of town.”

 

“Or else they would have been invited too,” Brian surmised.

 

“Cut it out, Bri,” Justin demanded. “You’re not mad at all. I wouldn’t be surprised if you were happy about the whole thing. But you’d never say so. That would be something really different. Brian Kinney actually liking something.”

 

“I do like it,” Brian told him.

 

“You do like it,” Justin mumbled. “You like it and you’re admitting it.”

 

“Yep,” Brian affirmed.

 

“What’s the catch, Kinney?” Justin demanded. “Trying to give me a heart attack?”

 

“Just deciding that if you’re not going to be an obfuscator, I shouldn’t be either,” Brian responded. “I’m really happy about what you’ve done for me and my mother and even Clare and the kids. I almost wish you would have had a shot at my father. Not that I think you could have ever done anything with him.”

 

“You weren’t an easy job yourself, Mr. K,” Justin smiled archly.

 

“I don’t think you could have got my dad to fall in love with you like you did me,” Brian observed, “Not that I’m complaining, Baby. I’m not complaining at all.”

 

“Guess not,” Justin allowed, “But I would have tried something different with your dad. Different strokes for different folks.”

 

“I don’t think I’d want to bet against you,” Brian admitted. And the guys lapsed into silence for a while.

 

Justin broke the silence eventually. “I’m glad we’re doing what we’re doing on Labor Day this year, Bri. We’ll have a good time,” He told the big guy, “But remember when we went to New York last Labor Day. I had a really good time. I’ll miss that this year but we should do that again soon.”

 

“What about the weekend after Labor Day?” Brian suggested. “We could have the same room and do the same things except maybe see a different show.”

 

“Sounds great, Bri,” Justin told him, “But it’s a little late to make all the arrangements now. I want everything to be exactly the way we want it. I’d rather wait. I don’t want anything different.”

 

“There won’t be anything different, Baby,” Brian informed him. “I made all the arrangements last month. I figured we’d be doing something with the gang this Labor Day so I just scheduled it for a week later.”

 

“I love you, Brian,” Justin told him. “You are the greatest guy in the world and I am the luckiest. I can’t believe how great you are. I’m never going to get mad at you again.”

 

”Well, that will be something different,” Brian laughed. “By the way, did I tell you your mother will be coming with us to New York?”

 

Justin was laughing too. “You’re funny, Brian,” Justin told him. “At least you better be.”


	140. Chapter 140 - Taken for Granted

Brian was eager to get the fire lit in the fake fireplace. He had a story he wanted to tell and he wanted the hypnotic flickering of the flames to help out. Justin suspected something was up. When the guys got themselves settled down on the floor, he waited for Brian to start the conversation.

 

“There’s a funny story I have to tell you, Sweetheart,” Brian began.

 

“Funny?” Justin replied.

 

“Yeah,” Brian continued, “I think you’ll think it’s funny,” hoping that Justin would think it was funny.

 

“I signed that big contract with Jimmy Reynolds from Allied Associates this morning,” Brian started his narration. “Then afterwards I took Jimmy to lunch at Gino’s.”

 

“And you sat with him at ‘our’ table, didn’t you?” Justin broke in.

 

“We did not sit at ‘our’ table, Baby,” Brian told him. “Gino knows better than to let me sit at ‘our’ table without you, so I couldn’t do that even if I wanted to, which you know damn well I wouldn’t.”

 

“Sorry, Bri,” Justin responded with a smile. “I should have trusted Gino.”

 

“You’re trying to make this hard for me, Twink,” Brian objected, “And that’s not fair.”

 

“If you promise not to make it hard for me when I have to tell you something,” Justin offered, “Then I’ll shut up now.”

 

“Brian thought for a while and then smiled. “Not worth it, Honey” Brian came back. “You have way more stories to tell me than I have to tell you. So can I just go on with this?”

 

“Be my guest,” Justin gibed.

 

“Well Jimmy had a couple of drinks with lunch and he must have got a little bit dizzy. He seemed OK at the time,” Brian went on. “After we ate, we decided to walk up Grandview Avenue so he could see the city views from the mountain. Well, he got a little bit woozy and he had to put his arm around me. Jimmy is not gay, Baby. I know that from a long time back. He is not gay. Anyhow, we had to sit down on a bench in one of the overlooks.”

 

“’Our’ bench,” Justin presumed. ”I’ll bet it was ‘our’ bench at ‘our’ overlook?”

 

“It was an emergency,” Brian defended himself. “He would not have made it to the next bench.”

 

“I can picture it now,” Justin mused. “Brian Kinney with his arm around Jimmy Reynolds sitting on ‘our’ bench at ‘our’ overlook.”

 

“And you look like you are enjoying what you’re picturing,” Brian groused. “It was perfectly innocent and you know it. If it weren’t completely innocent, why would I be telling you about it now?”

 

“Well you don’t want me just to take you for granted, do you?” Justin asked. “A hot guy like you. I know you’re attractive to other guys. I just could be wondering though just why you’re telling me this at all. You wouldn’t have needed to. You’re not trying to make me jealous, are you?”

 

“You don’t have any reason to be jealous and you know it,” Brian insisted. “The reason I’m telling you this is what makes the story funny, Kiddo. Jimmy and I were sitting there for a while till he got his legs back. That’s when I noticed Malcolm and Hunter. They were on Mt. Washington trying out their new digital camera. It has a 10x zoom and they were taking some city views, they said. They didn’t say if they had taken a picture of Jimmy and me and I don’t know when they first saw us, but I thought the subject might come up when you were talking to them, so I wanted to tell you the background, just so you’d know.”

 

“What did you think I’d think?” Justin wanted to know, “That you were running around with somebody else?”

 

“No,” Brian replied with a trace of petulance, “But I thought you just might be interested in knowing what was going on. Don’t you care if I’m sitting up on Grandview Avenue with some other guy?”

 

“Brian,” Justin assured him. “I trust you completely, but if you ever starting running around with some other guy, I’d know right away.”

 

“You’d know right away?” Brian echoed.

 

“Yep,” Justin affirmed. “And don’t ask me how I’d know but believe me, I would know.”

 

“Somehow I believe that, Baby,” Brian said. “But I’m still glad I told you all this before you heard anything from Malcolm or Hunter. They’ll tell you the same story, believe me.”

 

“Actually, you are the best guy in the world, Brian. I love you and I’d never want anyone else.” Justin took over. “But the way Malcolm and Hunter tell the story is a lot funnier than the way you told it.”

 

“I should have known those finks would rush off to tell you,” Brian grouched. “I’ll get them back, wait and see.”

 

“You don’t need to get them back, Bri,” Justin responded. “They just told a funnier story. They said they saw two drunks coming down Grandview Avenue. Then they realized that one of them was you. Then they realized that you weren’t drunk – that you were holding the other guy up. It never occurred to them that you were ‘with’ that guy. They know about us, Bri.”

 

“Oh,” Brian laughed, “Not only do you take me for granted, Hunter and Malcolm take me for granted too.”

 

“Everybody who knows us knows to take us both for granted,” Justin informed him. “So we had some bad times but there won’t be any more of those. Everybody knows that, and we do too.”

 

“Well my story might not have been as funny as theirs,” Brian claimed, “But my story was more accurate.”

 

“They have pictures, Bri,” Justin answered. “And we may have those pictures too. They said they’d send them here but I haven’t checked the computer yet. I’ll leave that to you. I don’t need to see them, unless you want me to.”

 

“Well maybe you’re right about my not needing revenge on Malcolm and Hunter,” Brian concluded. “But you, my sweet little Twink, have been needling me unnecessarily and maybe I need revenge for that.’

 

“You’re welcome to try, Kinney,” Justin challenged him. “I can take care of myself much better than poor Hunter or Malcolm – if I want to.”

 

“If you want to?” Brian wondered.

 

“Yeah,” Justin told him. “When I see what revenge you’ve planned, I’ll decide if I want to defend myself. Why do you think I was needling you in the first place?”

 

That brought the conversation to a pause, which the guys always enjoyed.

 

A while later, Brian reopened the conversation. “You have a quizzical look on your face, Baby,” He chortled. “I’ll bet you’re wondering what kind of revenge I’m planning.”

 

“Well I am wondering about something, Bri,” Justin replied. “You got that right. But not about your plans for vengeance. I was wondering why Malcolm and Hunter did not tell me the whole story.”

 

“They did though,’ Brian disagreed. “At least the way they think they saw it. I hope you’re not really suspicious.”

 

“Of course I’m not suspicious, Brian,” Justin. “I know you love me almost as much as I love you. I was wondering why they didn’t tell me they have a new camera.”


	141. Chapter 141 - Being Themselves

Brian and Justin loved sitting alone together in front of their fake fireplace’s flickering flames but Justin was actually not looking forward to their sitting down there on this particular evening. Or more specifically, he was just a bit uneasy about how the evening might begin. But he had decided to take the bull by the horns.

 

“OK, Brian,” he began. “I have two questions for you and I want you to listen to each entire question before you say ‘No.’ Please, Brian.”

 

“I can do better than that,” Brian offered. “I can see that you’re not looking forward to asking me these questions so I’ll just say ‘No’ now and you won’t even have to ask the questions at all. How does that sound?”

 

“Like Brian Kinney being Brian Kinney,” Justin replied. “But I know you’re just trying to lighten the mood and make things easier for me. I appreciate the effort but I’m going to ask the questions anyhow.”

 

“OK then, I’ll try to do it your way,” Brian conceded. “You know I always do my best to please you.”

 

“That we can talk about later,” Justin laughed. “I think you know that one of the trends in theater these days is play reading, where people just sit on stage and read old plays or radio broadcasts. Don’t say anything, Brian. Well the Gay and Lesbian Center is having a benefit reading of Twelve Angry Men next month. It’s a play about this jury that has problems.”

 

”I know the play,” Brian interrupted. “I think I saw it twice, and there was a movie too.”

 

“You weren’t supposed to interrupt,” Justin complained.

 

“Wrong, Twink,” Brian corrected him. “I wasn’t supposed to say ‘No’ and I’m not going to say ‘No’ till you’re completely finished but you didn’t say I couldn’t interrupt to clarify matters.”

 

“Well anyhow,” Justin forged on. “They asked Malcolm to produce and direct it. Mikey’s going to be in it – and so is Chuck. There’s a chance Abelard may come in from Columbus for one of the roles. Malcolm would really like it if you would be in it too. Don’t say anything. I haven’t asked the question yet.”

 

“I can’t imagine what the question is going to be,” Brian laughed. “But I have one of my own: ‘Why would Malcolm want me in his damn play?’”

 

“Maybe because it’s about angry men,” Justin retorted, “And he thinks you might fit that requirement, Mr. Kinney, Sir. But actually, that isn’t the reason. Malcolm says you give plays a certain ‘pop.’”

 

“Pop?” Brian wondered.

 

“Yeah,” Justin assured him. “Like pizazz. You’re a natural on stage, Kinney. You light up the stage when you’re out there. You won’t have to learn lines for this, Bri. There aren’t any long rehearsals. Probably two practice read-throughs. It’s not a lot of work and it’s for a good cause. Malcolm wants you for one particular role but he says you can have any role you want if you decide to do it.”

 

“And why doesn’t Malcolm ask me himself?” Brian wondered.

 

“He’s afraid of you,” Justin explained. “I’ve told you lots of times - they’re all afraid of you. You are a scary person.”

 

“So if I could just get rid of you,” Brian deduced, “Nobody would bother me with their crazy projects.”

 

”Probably that would work,” Justin conceded, rubbing his hair against Brian’s face. “Wanna try?”

 

“Is that the question?” Brian wanted to know.

 

“That is not the question,” Justin gritted his teeth. “And you know full well what the question is going to be but I haven’t asked it yet so you can’t say ‘No.’”

 

“Do you want me to do it?” Brian asked the kid.

 

“I want you to do what you want to do,” Justin insisted. “I never try to influence you to do anything you don’t want to do, and I couldn’t even if I wanted to. You’re too tough, Kinney. OK, now here is the first question: ‘What do I tell Malcolm?’ You can think about it for a while if you want to.”

 

“How long do I have to think about it?” Brian wondered.

 

“Well, I guess I’d like to know before we go to bed,” Justin responded.

 

“Now there’s a threat if I ever heard one,” Brian grinned.

 

“Dammit, Bri,” Justin groaned. “You are good at a lot of things but I think your biggest talent is making difficult things impossible. I promised Malcolm I’d call him tonight and give him your answer if I was able to pry an answer out of you. That’s why I want to know and that’s the only reason I want to know – so there.”

 

“OK, I’ll think about it,” Brian promised. “You said there were two questions, I seem to remember?”

 

“Yeah,” Justin responded. “Malcolm wants me in the play reading too. Is it all right with you if I tell him I’ll do it? I think it might be fun.”

 

“Am I getting this straight?” Brian asked him. “You’re asking my permission to do something you want to do.”

 

“Yeah,” Justin said. “What’s so strange about that?”

 

“Nothing, I guess,” Brian allowed. “There has to be a first time for everything.” That earned him an elbow to the ribs, not a very hard one though.

 

That activity brought a pause to the discussion. Justin was relieved that he had done what he had promised Malcolm he would. He rested his head on Brian’s shoulder, breathing easier.

 

It was a little while before Brian returned to the subject at hand. “You know, it is for a good cause and all,” he reopened the discussion.

 

“Yes, it is,” Justin agreed.

 

“And I do project a certain personality across the footlights,” Brian added.

 

“Yes, you do,” Justin agreed again.

 

“Maybe I should do it,” Brian conjectured. “But I’m afraid you might think I was doing it just because you wanted me to, and then you might feel guilty for getting me to do something I really didn’t want to do.”

 

“Oh no, Brian,” Justin assured him. “I’d know you were doing it because you decided it was a good thing to do. You always do the right thing. Don’t move while I call Malcolm. I want to sit here a while yet.”

 

It didn’t take Justin long to negotiate his call to Malcolm and return to Brian’s waiting arms. They didn’t say anything for a fairly long time until Brian finished off the evening’s conversation.

 

“You do know I’m only doing this play thing because you want me to, don’t you?” Brian asked the twink.

 

“Yeah, “ Justin admitted.

 

“And you don’t feel the least bit guilty about it, do you?” Brian continued.

 

“Nope,” Justin also admitted. “I hope you’re not mad at me.”

 

“Why should I be mad?” Brian told him. “It’s only Justin Taylor being Justin Taylor.”


	142. Chapter 142 - Cat and Mouse

Brian was surprised when he entered the loft. It was still afternoon. The fireplace was lit which meant that the kid must be home. He had not expected that. But why was the fireplace already lit in mid-afternoon? Then he took a second look toward the fireplace and got another surprise – perhaps a less welcome one. “Justin,” he called out. “Justin Taylor, hiding will not do you any good. Come out from wherever the hell you’re hiding. I want to see you – now – right away.”

 

Justin came in from the kitchen with a broad smile on his face. “I’m not hiding, Honey, just working on dinner,” he declared. “What’s the matter? Oh, I guess you’ve met Cicero.”

 

“I don’t know if I’ve met Cicero or not,” Brian stated, reasonably calmly he thought, “But I have noticed a cat lying in front of our fireplace.”

 

“Yeah,” Justin told him. “Cicero seemed to like the fireplace so I lit it for him, and he does like it, Bri. So you have met Cicero. And Cicero is not really a cat, Bri. He’s just a kitten.”

 

“Well, whatever he is, I’m glad he likes the fireplace,” Brian decided. “I can sit in front of it with Cicero then since I can’t imagine that I’d want to sit in front of it with you – at this point anyhow. Maybe you should tell me some of the background leading up to Cicero liking our fireplace. I presume you’re the one who brought him here.’

 

”Yeah,” Justin admitted. “Me and Malcolm picked him up at the animal shelter this afternoon. Isn’t he cute? He has all his shots and the other stuff too.”

 

“I think maybe I’ll reserve judgment on whether he’s cute or not for a while,” Brian replied. “So you’re telling me this is Malcolm’s cat then. That explains the name. The Shellcoffs are all classicists. You’d have given him some dumb name like Blackie. How come the cat is here though?”

 

“Well I don’t think I’d have named him Blackie, Brian,” Justin protested. “But that would have been a dumb name all right since he’s all gray. And actually Malcolm is out at the pet store picking up some supplies. You need to have stuff if you’re going to keep a cat. Malcolm knows about cats.”

 

“I’m sorry, Baby,” Brian relented. “I just thought, oh never mind, I should have known you wouldn’t get us a cat without consulting me. C’mere. Let’s sit down in front of the fireplace with Cicero. I guess I owe you a hug.” And so they sat themselves down and the three of them enjoyed silently the flickering flames for a while.

 

Their reverie was interrupted a bit later by the arrival of an unexpected guest. Mikey slid the loft door open and entered. “Hey, Justin,” he called. “I met Malcolm downstairs and he gave me all the cat junk. I told him I was coming over to see Cicero and he said I should just bring the stuff up because he was behind schedule.”

 

“Glad you’re here,” Justin told Mikey. “Wanna stay for dinner? It will be out of the oven in an hour and a half and there’s plenty if you want to stay.”

 

“Nah,” Michael declined. “Ben will be a little bit late getting home tonight but he’ll be hungry when he does.”

 

“And how did you know that Cicero was here, Mike?” Brian asked with Brianesque diffidence.

 

“Hunter told me,” Mikey revealed. “He said Cicero was here and volunteered to handle the store so I could come over and see him. You know how much I like cats. And Linz mentioned something about it to me this morning too.”

 

“The word is definitely out then, I guess,” Brian observed.

 

“Well it wasn’t exactly a secret,” Mikey responded.

 

“Are you sure you don’t want to stay for dinner?” Justin reinvited Michael.

 

“Sorry I can’t,” Michael allowed. “But I’ll be getting out pretty soon and give you and Brian a chance to get to know the cat.” So after fifteen minutes of playing with Cicero, Michael did leave. The other three were still watching the fire. Nothing was said. At least not for a while.

 

Finally Brian broke the silence. “I’m not speaking to you, Twink,” he began. “But I’m going to ask you some questions anyhow and I expect straight answers.”

 

“You always get straight answers when you ask me questions,” Justin pouted a bit, “And you know it too.”

 

“That cat is not Malcolm’s is it?” Brian began.

 

“No,” Justin responded.

 

“Baby, if you wanted a cat, you know you could have a cat,” Brian complained. “You know you always get what you want around here. It wasn’t necessary for you to go out and get him and then surprise me. You know me better than that, or at least you should.”

 

“Honey, that’s not a question,” Justin reminded him with a Justinesque smile. “You have to put your statements in the form of a question.”

 

Brian almost smiled too but he didn’t. “OK, Wise Guy,” he rephrased. “Why did you go to the animal shelter and get yourself a cat without telling me? That’s a question.”

 

“I didn’t,” Justin replied, “And that’s an answer.”

 

“Well then, how the hell did the cat get here?” Brian asked two questions, “And who the hell does he belong to?”

 

“I already told you Malcolm and me brought him here,” Justin replied, “And I guess technically, he belongs to you right now.”

 

“You got me a cat?” Brian’s voice displayed unbelief. “You got me a cat and didn’t say anything about it in advance?”

 

“I thought I did tell you, Bri,” Justin protested. “This morning just after we woke up.”

 

“Is that what you were saying?” Brian finally did smile. “I was just looking at you, thinking how beautiful you are when you just wake up. I guess I can’t listen and look at the same time. I’m sorry.”

 

“ Brian, Sweetheart,” Justin told him. “Listen to me this time, please. Linz and Mel have been talking for a while about getting a cat for Gus. I guess you don’t listen to them either. Yesterday, they talked about it again, you weren’t there, and I told them that I thought you would like to give Gus the cat as a gift. They thought it was a good idea. Gus decided on the name because he had a book with a cat named Cicero in it. So now you have a cat that you will be taking over to give to Gus tomorrow – together with all the stuff they need. I’m sorry there was this misunderstanding.”

 

Brian pulled Justin closer. “You know I love you, don’t you, Twink,” he said.

 

“Yeah,” Justin assured him, “Because I always listen to you.” That was enough to bring on another quiet period.

 

After a while, Brian had some more to say though. “You know, Baby,” Brian told him, “It seems to me like maybe you were enjoying our little misunderstanding earlier. Am I wrong about that? I hope I’m wrong about that.”

 

“Gee whiz, Bri, you know me so well I can’t get away with anything,” Justin confessed. “Actually I always love you but you’re most attractive to me when you’re just a little bit confused. Like today. I’m sorry.”

 

Brian mussed up the kid’s hair. “You are something else, Justin Taylor,” Brian told him, “But I don’t know how you can tell when I’m confused. Seems to me I’m always a little confused around you.”

 

“That’s OK, Bri,” Justin returned the hair mussing. “I don’t have any complaints.”

 

Brian couldn’t think of any complaints either.

 

Cicero might have complained. He couldn’t figure out what was going on.


	143. Chapter 143 - Competition

It seemed like just another ordinary night at the loft in front of the fireplace. Brian had his arm around the twink who was smiling contentedly.

 

“Baby,” Brian started, “Could I just ask you a question, just out of curiosity, without you getting upset?”

 

“Well I don’t see why not,” Justin answered him. “Why would I get upset at an ordinary question?”

 

“I don’t know,” Brian responded. “I guess I don’t know why.”

 

”Well ask away,” Justin encouraged him, “I have no secrets from you and I have an opinion on every subject, so just ask, Brian.”

 

“Well remember last night,” Brian continued.

 

“Yeah,” Justin acknowledged. “Me and Malcolm went to this meeting at school. We learned a lot from the speaker and we were glad we went.”

 

”And you thought you’d be back about nine but it was really about 10:30 when you got home,” Brian continued.

 

“You’re not checking up on me, are you, Bri?” Justin exhibited a little concern. “You didn’t say anything when I got home last night.”

 

“Baby, I hope you’re not getting excited,” Brian said. “I’m not checking up on you. I didn’t ask you last night why you were late because you’re an adult and all that stuff.”

 

“But you’re asking tonight?” Justin wondered. “What’s up, Bri?”

 

“I was just wondering why you and Malcolm were at Babylon last night,” Brian confessed. “I’m not upset and I’m not suspicious and I’m not checking up on you but I am curious. You aren’t crazy about Babylon and you know if you wanted to go, I’d go with you, even though I’m not all that crazy about Babylon any more either.”

 

“How the hell did you know we stopped at Babylon?” Justin asked. “I don’t think you have somebody follow me when I’m out without you. Do you?”

 

“Don’t need to,” Brian informed him. “I have spies everywhere. Remember Fred who used to be at Babylon all the time. Old and kinda creepy. I was out to lunch today and I saw him. He came up to me and asked why I don’t get to Babylon much any more. He told me the blond twink I used to play around with was there last night with another blond twink.”

 

Justin began to laugh. “And you’re mad because Freddy thought you couldn’t hold on to that very attractive young blond twink you used to play around with,” he gibed at Brian.

 

“Not at all,” Brian defended himself. “I told him that you still lived with me and that you did all the cleaning and cooking.”

 

“I guess I can’t call you a liar there,” Justin chortled, “But if that’s the extent of my job description, I think I may be going above and beyond the call of duty.”

 

“Cut it out, Twink,” Brian ordered him. “If you’re trying to evade the question, just don’t answer. I don’t need to know and I’m not jealous or suspicious either.”

 

Justin did not respond immediately so a period of silence ensued. They were both thinking.

 

Brian,” Justin resumed the conversation. “Malcolm and me were at that meeting at school last night. There was this kid, Jed, there. Jed goes to Babylon regularly. He was telling us about this new guy who hangs out there, called Brandon. Jed said he was the new Brian Kinney, but he didn’t know who the old Brian Kinney was. He said he was sure though that Brandon was a lot hotter than Brian Kinney ever was. Malcolm thought we ought to go over and check him out, so we did.”

 

“You’re checking out hot guys?” Brian took the offensive.

 

“Now you cut it out, Bri,” Justin retorted. “We just wanted to see what this Brandon guy looked like. I told Malcolm on the way over that there was no way he was going to compare to you.”

 

“Should I be afraid to ask the next obvious question?” Brian wondered.

 

“Not at all, Bri,” Justin smiled at him. “Brandon can’t compare to you. Now I may just be a bit prejudiced but Malcolm agreed with me.”

 

“Well maybe Malcolm was prejudiced too?” Brian conjectured.

 

“Why would Malcolm be prejudiced?” Justin wanted to know. “Something going on between you and Malcolm?”

 

“Don’t think so,” Brian told him. “I just thought he might be prejudiced because he’s such a good friend of yours.”

 

“Well he’s not prejudiced at all, and you are a lot hotter than this Brandon guy,” Justin insisted. “If that’s the best Babylon has to offer, Babylon’s going downhill fast.”

 

“If I’m so much hotter than this Brandon,” Brian wanted to know, “How come you didn’t bother mentioning him?”

 

“Maybe I didn’t want you to get a big head, Sweetheart,” Justin answered.

 

“So I don’t have a big head now then?’ Brian surmised.

 

“I guess I wouldn’t want to go that far, Bri,” Justin laughed. “But I do need to take you to Babylon to see Brandon. He’s really an unworthy successor to the fabled Brian Kinney, a hollow imitation of the master.”

 

“Maybe you are a little prejudiced, Baby,” Brian responded. “But I think you may be right. I don’t need to go to Babylon though. I’ve seen Brandon.”

 

“You’ve seen Brandon,” Justin choked out. “You never told me.”

 

“Yeah, I’ve seen him,” Brian admitted. “He’s a dopey character. He actually stopped by my office and challenged me to some kind of a sex contest.”

 

“A sex contest?” Justin sputtered. “I can see why you didn’t tell me.” Then smiling, he continued, “I don’t suppose you took him up on the offer?”

 

“Forget it Twink,” Brian smiled back at him. “You’re not going to make me feel guilty because you snuck off to Babylon last night. I told him I had the only guy I was interested in, and that you could cook and clean too”

 

“You told him that you had the only guy you were interested in,” Justin exulted. “And you never told me anything about this. How come, Bri?”

 

“Guess I didn’t want you to get a big head,” Brian figured.

 

“Well it wouldn’t hurt for you to pay me a compliment sometime, one that I hear about, that is,” Justin pretended to grouse. “So if I were you, I’d think one up, Mr. Kinney, and pretty quick too.”

 

A period of silence followed with the guys clinging to each other for dear life.

 

Brian broke the silence. “You know what, Baby,” he told the eager kid, “You cook and clean real well.”


	144. Chapter 144 - Drips

Justin was doing some wondering as the guys configured themselves on the floor of the loft facing the fake fireplace. Brian seemed a little bit perturbed. It wasn’t like Brian not to tell him if something was wrong so Justin was wondering. Justin was not in the habit of wondering about anything for long.

 

“OK, Brian,” he asked, “What’s the problem? Did I do something? If I did, just tell me.”

 

“So you can weasel out of it, I guess,” Brian had to smile. “No weaseling necessary this time. You didn’t do anything wrong – that I know of, that is.”

 

“Well what you don’t know can’t hurt you,” Justin joked back, hoping to raise his boy-friend’s spirits. It didn’t work.

 

“You’re usually right, Baby,” Brian replied, squeezing Justin to reassure him. “But not this time. What you don’t know can be a real pain in the ass.”

 

“Brian,” Justin probed. “You’re right. What I don’t know now is really bothering me. I can usually read your mind, but not tonight. Something’s wrong and I can’t figure out what it is. You say it doesn’t have anything to do with me, but I still want to know what it is. I’m sure I can fix it.”

 

“Yeah, I guess you can,” Brian answered him. “You can fix anything.”

 

“You’re confusing me, Honey,” Justin persisted. “Now cut it out. What’s bothering you? I don’t like it when you’re not happy, and I’m not giving up till I know what’s the matter.”

 

“The phone call,” Brian told him.

 

“What phone call, Bri?” Justin wondered. “Not the call from your mother?”

 

“What other phone call did we get?” Brian retorted.

 

“I don’t get it, Bri,” Justin said. “Your mother was very nice on the phone. She talked to both of us and she was very nice. How could that bother you?”

 

“She asked you to fix her drippy faucet and you said you’d go over tomorrow and do it,” Brian informed him. “You said it was a very simple job.”

 

“I don’t get it, Brian,” Justin went on. “You can’t be mad because I’m going to fix your mother’s faucet and I told her it was a simple job. It is a simple job.”

 

“She asked you to do it,” Brian complained. “She didn’t ask me.”

 

“Honey, that was probably because she thought about it while she was talking to me,” Justin protested. “Maybe it would be better if you went over and fixed the faucet if you’d rather.”

 

“That would be a good idea,” Brian admitted, “But I don’t know how to fix faucets. I don’t know how to fix anything and she knows it.”

 

“That’s not your fault, Brian,” Justin pointed out. “Nobody would know anything if somebody didn’t show them. My dad could do anything and he wanted me to know how to fix stuff for when I got married….” Justin stopped abruptly but it was too late.  
“Or moved in with some superannuated sex pervert who can’t fix anything,” Brian groused.

 

“Now just cut it out, Brian,” Justin demanded. “My dad got to like you after he got to know you. He said you were a great guy. You know he said that. You heard him say it.”

 

“He didn’t get to know me,” Brian responded. “What really happened was that he realized what a great kid you are even if you are gay, and he figured he had to put up with me.”

 

“Brian Kinney,” Justin smiled at him. “You’re looking for sympathy, and you’ve come to the right place. I’ll see that you get all the sympathy you want, but first I think I’m going to yell at you. OK?”

 

“Go ahead and yell, Sunshine,” Brian urged him. “I’m just a big drip. That’s what I am.”

 

Justin had to laugh. “But you know what, Bri,” Justin told him. “I can fix drips. They’re easy. You’re not a drip but if you were, you’d be the very best drip I ever fixed. I never loved any of the other drips I’ve fixed, and I do love you.”

 

Brian ran his hand through the kid’s hair. “Mikey’s right, Baby,” he marveled. “You are a boy wonder. You’ve got this drip fixed already. Nothing can bother me for long when you’re around, even if I am a drip.”

 

“You said I could yell at you, Brian, and I haven’t so far,” Justin warned him. “But if you don’t quit calling yourself a drip, I will really yell.” And he returned the hair mussing trick, brushing Brian’s hair down into his eyes and then pushing it back.

 

“You win, Twink,” Brian gave in. “I’ll just have to live with the fact that I can’t fix anything and you can.”

 

“Do you remember what a mess I was in after the stuff at the prom, Mr. Kinney?” Justin asked him. “I’d still be a mess if it hadn’t been for you. Nobody else could have got me through that. Not the doctors. Not my family. Nobody but you. If I can fix anything today, it’s because you fixed me.”

 

“How did I do that?” Brian asked him.

 

“You loved me,” Justin told him.

 

“So did your mom and dad, and the rest of your family,” Brian countered.

 

“Not like you did,’ Justin insisted. “Nobody ever loved me like you do.”

 

“And nobody ever will, Baby,” Brian told him, pulling him just a little bit closer.

 

Brian was surprised at Justin’s response. “OK, Bri,” he said. “Enough of the mushy stuff – till later, that is. I’ll tell you what we’re going to do. We’re going to go out to the kitchen and we’re going to take the faucets apart and I’m going to show you how to fix a drip. And then you’re going over to your mother’s tomorrow and fix hers, and I’m not going to go with you. You’re going to tell her I got held up at school or something and so you came instead of me.”

 

“You think I can learn?” Brian wondered.

 

“Would I be crazy in love with a guy who couldn’t learn to fix a leaky faucet?” Justin answered.

 

“OK,” Brian decided. “But none of that mushy stuff till after we work on the faucet.”

 

But that turned out to be easier said than done. “Shit,” Brian yelled as he tried to turn on the lamp over the sink and was greeted with a brief frightening flash but no other light.”

 

“It’s the switch, Bri,” Justin diagnosed, “And I don’t know anything about switches. I really don’t”

 

“Sunshine,” Brian laughed. “Pick up a switch at the hardware store tomorrow and come home and replace that switch, and then we’ll go over to my mother’s and fix her drip.”

 

“And if I need help with the switch?” Justin wanted to know, flashing an arch smile.

 

“Oh ” Brian laughed, “Old ‘Short Circuit’ Kinney will be here to help all right.”

 

“Brian,” Justin told him. “You are not a drip and you are not a short circuit, now cut it out, damn it.”

 

“Well what would you call me then?” Brian pressed the question.

 

“A live wire,” Justin concluded. “But maybe a live wire who needs a little sympathy right now. Wanna get mushy?”


	145. Chapter 145 - Looks can Be Deceiving

Brian and Justin had just settled down in front of the fake fireplace. Neither of them spoke for a while. Justin had an odd smile on his face. Brian noticed it but did not react.

 

Finally, Justin opened the conversation. “What do you want to tell me?” he asked the surprised Brian.

 

“Why do you think I want to tell you something?” Brian replied, somewhat taken aback.

 

“That’s easy, Bri,” Justin told him. “You have that ‘I want to tell Justin something’ look on your face.”

 

“I have an ‘I want to tell Justin something’ look on my face?” Brian wondered. “Which you in your know-it-all-ness can see?”

 

“Yep,” Justin affirmed.

 

“Well I guess I’ll have to wear a hood when I have something that I want to tell you that I don’t really want to tell you,” Brian conjectured.

 

“That won’t work either, Honey,” Justin confided in the dumbfounded Brian. “I’d still know from your ‘I want to tell Justin something’ slouch. Why don’t you just tell me whatever it is you want to tell me?”

 

“Suppose I don’t have anything at all I want to tell you?” Brian protested.

 

“Then I’d be wrong and I’m not usually wrong,” Justin insisted. “So you do have something to tell me. I’m sure you do.”

 

“OK, you win,” Brian surrendered. “Again! I was thinking we ought to move out of this loft and get a house. I think you’d be happier in a house. I talked it over with your mother and she thought so too. We’ve even looked at a couple together, but I want it to be your decision which one. What do you think?”

 

Now it was Justin’s turn to be surprised. “A house,” he stammered.

 

“Yeah,” Brian confirmed. “In the suburbs – with a lawn and a picket fence too if you want one. Mikey and Ben have a house and the munchers have a house so I want you to have a house too.”

 

“But I love this loft,” Justin responded. “So much of our history is here. It’s the first place we ever made love.”

 

“That wasn’t love,” Brian faked a smirk. “I just ….”

 

“Cut it out, Kinney,” Justin broke in. “It was too love – even if you were too dumb to know it then. But you know it now, and I know you know it.”

 

“By the ‘ I know now that it was love’ look on my face, I guess,” Brian taunted.

 

“Maybe,” Justin conceded nothing. “But by a lot more than that too, so you can forget about being the old Brian Kinney around me. Any Brian Kinney who’s talking about buying a house knows love when he sees it.”

 

“You know, Taylor,” Brian riposted,” You have that ‘I think I’ll change the subject’ look on your face – and it’s not going to work this time. We are going to talk about what I want to talk about this time around.”

 

“And that would be a house?” Justin concluded.

 

“That would be a house,” Brian agreed. “That would be a house. I know I’m stuck with you for the rest of my life and I want to give you a real home.”

 

“Brian Kinney, sometimes you’re just a bit clueless,” Justin informed him. “A house is not necessarily a home. For me home is anywhere you are – here, in some house in the suburbs, in a tent in the woods or anywhere else. I don’t need a house to have a home. I just need you.”

 

“Damned if you aren’t changing the subject and getting away with it?” Brian marveled.

 

“Yeah,” Justin laughed. “I’m pretty sure I could get away with it but if you want to talk about a house, that’s what we’ll talk about. What do you really want, Brian?”

 

“Whatever you want, Baby.” Brian admitted. “I just want you to be happy.”

 

“I’m happy here,” Justin told him. “I just want you. You’re all I want. Maybe we should take some more time to think about moving – if that’s all right with you.”

 

“OK,” Brian agreed. “Whatever you want. I’ll stop by your mother’s office tomorrow morning and tell her the house plans are on hold. And I’ll do you a favor too. You know those things you’ve been talking about taking to your mother for the last month or so and keep forgetting. I’ll take them along with me and save you a trip. Get them for me now so I won’t forget them in the morning.”

 

“No need, Honey,” Justin told him. “I dropped them off this afternoon..”

 

“At her office?” Brian wondered.

 

“Yeah,” Justin acknowledged. “Why do you ask?”

 

“And you talked to gabby Phyllis at the reception desk?” Brian wanted to know.

 

“We exchanged a few words,” Justin began to see a problem.

 

“And she told you about the house?” Brian challenged.

 

“No, she didn’t,” Justin insisted. “She never mentioned the house.”

 

“Get that ‘Change the subject’ look off your face, Twink,” Brian ordered. “I want to know exactly what she said to you and I want to know now, and I’m going to find out.”

 

“She asked me if you had told me yet,” Justin muttered.

 

“But she didn’t tell you what I was supposed to tell you?” Brian pushed on.

 

“No, she didn’t,” Justin maintained. “When she figured you hadn’t told me, she just said ‘Never mind’ and clammed up.”

 

Brian had to smile. “I’d like to see gabby Phyllis clam up,” he allowed. “That should be a sight worth seeing. So then, I guess, you decided to trick me into telling you whatever it was with some crap about an ‘I want to tell Justin something’ look on my face?”

 

“Not trick you, Brian. That hurts my feelings,” Justin defended himself. “More like I wanted to help you to tell me whatever you wanted to tell me anyway.”

 

“Well there’s something I want to tell you now,” Brian gritted his teeth. “Do I have that ‘I want to tell Justin something’ look on my face? Maybe you want to guess what it is that I want to tell you?”

 

“Maybe that you’d like to kill me?” Justin ventured.

 

“Pretty close,” Brian admitted.

 

“But maybe you’d just like to tell me that you love me?” Justin added with an “I want to change the subject” look on his face?”

 

“That too,” Brian also admitted.

 

The later wish superceded the former. Brian picked up the twink and carried him toward the bedroom. They forgot to turn off the fake fireplace and the fire burned all night.


	146. Chapter 146 - Cold Shoulder

The fake fireplace in the loft was ablaze as it often was. The guys were sitting on the floor in front of the couch staring at the flickering flames as they often were. What was different was that they were sitting about six feet apart which was very seldom, if ever, the case. Brian made a move to cut down the distance between them.

 

“Stay away from me, Brian,” Justin ordered.

 

“I guess I’m getting the cold shoulder tonight,” Brian complained.

 

“Cut it out, Brian,” Justin told him. “It’s not the cold shoulder that you’re getting. It’s this cold I have that I don’t want you to get. One of us sniffling around here is more than enough. It’s no fun and I don’t want you to get it. So just stay away from me.”

 

“Seems like I tried that once upon a time,” Brian laughed, “And I don’t think it worked.”

 

“And it won’t work next week either,” Justin laughed back at him, “But right now it’s the best thing to do. It’s just a common cold and it will be gone in a couple of days. It’s not like it’s going to be fatal or anything. Lots of the kids at school have colds right now. The bug is going around.”

 

“Probably spread by kissing,” Brian conjectured with an arch smile.

 

“Probably,” Justin gritted his teeth, “Which is just the reason that I’m not kissing anybody till this cold is gone.”

 

“So everybody has to suffer because you have a cold, Kiddo?” Brian mused.

 

“Nope,” Justin replied, “Not everybody. Just you, Mr. Kinney. I don’t kiss anybody else.”

 

“Well, I guess if you rest, drink lots of liquids, and eat chicken soup, you’ll recover,” Brian advised. “That’s why I brought home that gallon of chicken soup. I even left work early to get it here for you. Modern Tombstones is going to have to wait an extra day for their mock ups on account of you.”

 

“OK, Dr. Kinney,” Justin joked. “Thanks for the advice, but if I need any medical opinions, I can call Dr. Marshall. And if Modern Tombstones complains, you can buy one of their products for me after I perish from this cold.”

 

“Actually, Sweetheart,” Brian informed him, “The medical advice does come from Dr. Marshall. That’s what he told me when I called him.”

 

“You called Dr. Marshall, Bri,” Justin couldn’t believe what he had heard. “Just because I have a cold you called Dr. Marshall. Why in hell did you need to do that?”

 

“Taking no chances,” Brian defended himself. “Do you remember a year or so ago when I had that minor ankle sprain and you went ballistic and forced me to go to the emergency room? Same thing.”

 

“Brian Kinney, it is not the same thing at all,” Justin insisted. “You could have had broken bones. I have a little cold. All I need is some time and some rest.”

 

“And liquids and chicken soup,” Brian added, “But why don’t you just slide over here and put your head on my shoulder and rest. I’m sure that will help.”

 

“Let me tell you something about rest, Kinney,” Justin laughed. “After I got rid of you this morning I went back to bed to get some rest. Just about the time I got to sleep, my mother came. She brought me some chicken soup and stayed for a while to tell me how to get rid of the cold. After I got rid of her, I went back to sleep and your mother stopped by with some chicken soup and more advice. She stayed a while too. After I got rid of her, I went back to bed and it wasn’t long till Malcolm and Hunter were here. They had chicken soup from Debbie but no advice, thank God. The damn refrigerator is full of chicken soup or didn’t you notice? Chickens all over the world are dying because I have a cold.”

 

“Well it could have been worse,” Brian chortled. “Debbie could have brought the soup over herself and then you would have got the advice too.”

 

“She wanted to,” Justin explained, “But she’s doing a double shift at the diner because Alvin is out sick with a cold.”

 

“I wonder if Alvin got any chicken soup?” Brian mused.

 

“I guess we could call and ask,” Justin responded, “But I want to watch the 6:00 news to see what’s going on about my cold. I expect it will be the lead story. Brian, you didn’t need to tell everybody I have a cold. It’s not like I won the Nobel Prize or anything.”

 

“If they gave a Nobel Prize for being cute, I bet you’d win,” Brian postulated.

 

“You are so full of it, Bri,” Justin responded, “But you might be right, I’ll have to admit.”

 

”Or if they gave a Nobel Prize for thinking you know everything…” Brian continued.

 

“Nope, you’d win that, hands down,” Justin laughingly declared.

 

“Or a Nobel Prize for whining and complaining…” Brian added.

 

“Mikey,” Justin told him.

 

One of their usual periods of silence followed this exchange but periods of silence were not very satisfying when the gap between the guys was six feet, so it didn’t last too long.

 

“You know what, Bri,” Justin conjectured. “Sometimes they say a person is not really contagious with a cold after a few days so maybe I’m not contagious any more. Maybe I could just slide over and put my head on your shoulder. What do you think?”

 

That must have been agreeable to Brian because they both quickly slid over meeting in the middle of the previous six foot gap between them. Justin put his head on Brian’s shoulder and Brian’s arm went around the kid. Another ever-so-much-more satisfying period of silence ensued.

 

“Brian,” Justin finally broke the quiet spell, “Thanks for worrying about me. I really do appreciate your concern about my health but don’t you think there was an element of overkill there?”

 

“Yeah, probably,” Brian admitted, “But you know what, Baby, I love you, and I love being responsible for you and I love taking care of you. I guess that’s why I did it. It may have been overkill but I loved doing it.”

 

Justin moved even closer and kissed Brian on the cheek.

 

“Thought you weren’t kissing anybody till you were over the cold,” Brian crowed, “But I guess you couldn’t resist. I guess I must be kind of irresistible.”

 

“Yeah, you are kind of irresistible, Bri,” Justin agreed. “And while I certainly don’t want you to catch my cold, you are completely irresistible.”

 

“Can’t help it,” Brian pointed out happily. “If you’re irresistible, you’re irresistible.”

 

“You know what else, Bri,” Justin added. “It would be terrible if you caught my cold but if you did, then I could take care of you just like you took care of me.”

 

Brian made an abrupt move to the left at this point, causing Justin to almost roll over onto the floor. “Stay away from me, Justin Taylor,” he ordered.


	147. Chapter 147 - Scared Stiff

I t was midnight when the boys finally settled themselves down in front of the fireplace. That was usually the time they turned it off on ordinary days, but this was not an ordinary day.

 

“You feel stiff,” Brian said to Justin as he put his arm around the kid. “And you’re shivering too. You don’t think the Wolfman is coming after you, do you?”

 

“Maybe if the Wolfman’s name is Brian Kinney,” Justin relaxed just a bit, smiling. “But you know those scary movies leave me a little nervous.”

 

”We won’t do this next Halloween then,” Brian decided. “If you don’t want to.”

 

”Who said I don’t want to,” Justin relaxed a little more. “I get to sit on your lap with both your arms around me for three hours. I didn’t say anything about not having the movies. You can show three next year if you want to – or next week would be OK too.”

 

“So you’re faking being scared stiff,” Brian assumed.

 

“No, I’m not,” Justin protested. “Those old horror movies do scare me. There just might be some side effects that make them worth-while though. But anyhow, I wasn’t the scaredest person here tonight. Both Malcolm and Hunter were more scared than me.”

 

“Maybe Hunter was,” Brian agreed, “But I was pretty sure Malcolm was faking it so he would get invited to spend the night at Mikey’s.”

 

“Why would he do that?” Justin smiled.

 

“Can’t imagine,” Brian smiled back at him. “But Mikey and Ben seemed to enjoy the movies. Me and Mikey have always been into horror movies but I didn’t know about Ben. I’m not so sure about Emm and Ted though.”

 

“I think they did,” Justin decided. “They said they did. It was a great night all around. And Halloween is still two days away.”

 

”Yeah,” Brian groused. “And thanks to you we have to get through tomorrow night and I guess we’ll have these crazy spooky decorations up till Christmas. This loft is a mess.”

 

“This loft looks like a haunted house, Brian,” Justin insisted. “Malcolm and me did a great job with the decorations and Gus’ gang will love them tomorrow too.”

 

“Don’t remind me,” Brian complained half-heartedly. “I don’t know why you always have to be so nice. Volunteering our loft for a Halloween party for Gus and his three friends.”

 

“I have to be nice because I’m being nice for two. Saves you the trouble of being nice. And it’s eight friends, Honey,” Justin corrected him. “Gus has a lot of friends.”

 

”Twice as bad,” Brian laughed. “Worse than twice as bad. And this loft is like an an obstacle course . It hasn’t been this cluttered since the time you and Mikey did your Rage mock-up here. That was just a little bit worse. I’ll be lucky if I can find my way to the bed.”

 

”I think you’ll manage,” Justin laughed out loud. “And don’t try anything like what happened with the Rage mock-up either. And you know what else, that was mean of you to say this stuff will be up till Christmas. Hunter and Malcolm and me will be taking it all down on November 1. You don’t have to help either. In fact we might not even let you help now even if you wanted.”

 

”Damn, I did want to help, too. And by the way, isn’t November 1 the birthday of that cousin of yours who looks like you?” Brian changed the subject. “The one who lives in Atlanta?”

 

“No but you’re close,” Justin told him. “It’s November 2. I just sent him a birthday card today. Now he’ll be as old as me.”

 

”I think I ought to meet him some time,” Brian observed. “I bet we’d get along fine. I also think you’re not too eager for that to happen, Baby. You don’t think he’d be competition, do you?”

 

“Yeah,” Justin responded sarcastically. “I’m scared stiff of the competition.”

 

“Gee, Kiddo,” Brian mussed up the kid’s hair. “I don’t like you to be scared stiff. I’d put both of my arms around you but I already have both of my arms around you. And you don’t have to worry about any competition. Breaking in a twink is tough work.”

 

“Breaking in a twink,” Justin was taken aback. “Breaking in a twink. Brian Kinney, you’ve got a lot of nerve making a remark like that. But, on second thought, actually that is pretty funny, Kinney, so I guess you can get away with it since I know you’re joking. Anyhow, he ‘s my age so he wouldn’t be a twink any more.”

 

“You’re right as usual,” Brian acknowledged. “I guess I’d want my next twink to be a little younger. Who wants an old twink?”

 

“Maybe you?” Justin suggested.

 

“Maybe,” Brian allowed, and the guys drifted into one of their silent periods.

 

“OK, Kinney,” Justin broke the silence. “I figured it out. You just got me off the subject of the horror movies with all that stuff about my cousin, didn’t you? Well you succeeded. I’m not scared at all now. You really know me pretty well. I am so lucky to have you.”

 

“Anything for my beloved twink,” Brian admitted. “Anything at all. You know that.”

 

“I’m glad you feel that way, Bri,” Justin responded. “And I know you mean it. But you know I was just thinking. There are a few things we’ll have to get ready for Gus’ party tomorrow when we get home. I think we can do the bobbing for apples right here, and you can put the Pin-the-Tail-on-the-Donkey thing over there against that wall next to the witch, and, what do you think, should we make the taffy apples ourselves or buy them?”

 

Brian didn’t answer right away. He just stared vacantly toward the flickering flames. Justin got a little concerned. “Brian, you’re feeling a bit stiff,” he told his lover, “And I think you’re shivering too. What’s the matter?”

 

“You know what’s the matter, Twink,” Brian mumbled with a half smile on his face. “I think I’m scared stiff.”

 

“What can I do to help?” Justin seemed concerned.

 

“Maybe if you put both arms around me,” Brian suggested. “That might help.”

 

“It’s worth a try,” Justin acknowledged. “That just might work.”

 

And it did work.


	148. Chapter 148 - The Shadow Knows

Brian Kinney returned to the loft early. He had not been looking forward to the evening since the twink was scheduled for a seminar and was not expected home till 9 or maybe 10. But Brian had left the office early and stopped at the comic book store in hopes of arranging dinner with Michael. That hadn’t worked out either but Mikey had given him a couple of CDs of Brian’s favorite old-time radio program, The Adventures of the Shadow, and the episodes featured Orson Wells who was Brian’s favorite of the three or four actors who had played “the voice of the invisible Shadow.” Brian often thought that he should have been born thirty or forty years sooner, but then he figured he would have missed out on the kid, and he would not have wanted that – not for anything. Nevertheless, while Justin also enjoyed “reliving” the old days they had both missed the first time around, Brian thought, the kid often seemed to get really into the experience with results that ranged from comic to catastrophic. So Brian smiled at the prospect of listening to ‘The Shadow” by himself. He decided to light the fireplace and sit for a while thinking about Justin and then close his eyes and imagine as the radio programs played out. Brian was feeling satisfied with his plans. He had taken a potentially lonely evening and turned it into something special. He was very pleased with himself.

 

Sometimes people’s plans don’t work out though, and that was to be Brian’s fate on this particular evening. He was only seated before the flickering flames for a very short time when the door to the loft slid open and the unexpected twink came in.

 

“I’m home, Bri,” the kid called out. “Seminar was cancelled.” Then he noticed the fireplace was lit. “Missed me already?” Justin asked with a smirk. “Lucky for you my seminar was cancelled.”

 

“Naw,” Brian denied the allegation. “I just thought I’d light the thing so that if you got too lonesome for me and skipped out on the seminar, we’d have a head start when you came rushing in.”

 

“Hmm,” Justin wondered. “Maybe so. I really was looking forward to seeing you. When the seminar was called off, me and Malcolm went over to your office to tell you but you were already gone. Cynthia said you were gone for the day but she thought you had headed over to the comic book store, so we went over there.”

 

”Following me around, eh?” Brian laughed.

 

“Yeah,” Justin admitted. “I guess we were kind of shadowing you.”

 

“Shadowing me?” Brian interjected with a trace of alarm in his voice.

 

“Yeah, shadowing,” Justin confirmed. “You don’t read enough mystery stories, Bri. That’s when the detective ….”

 

“I know what it means,” Brian interrupted him. “What did Mikey have to say?” he added tentatively.

 

“Mikey wasn’t there when we got there,” Justin told him. “Hunter was in charge. Mikey had just left though.”

 

“So you didn’t get to talk to Mikey then?” Brian wondered. “I guess that’s fair. I didn’t get to talk to Hunter while I was there. He hadn’t shown up yet.”

 

“Yeah, he was there,” Justin informed him. “He was in the back unpacking cartons. He knew you were out front but I guess he just decided to let you and Mikey talk. You guys don’t get together so much any more.”

 

“Not as much,” Brian agreed. “I guess we both have more important things to do.”

 

“Like what?” Justin smiled coyly, brushing his hair up against Brian’s cheek.

 

“None of your business,” Brian responded with a smile of his own.

 

“Are you sure of that?” Justin persisted.

 

“No,” Brian surrendered, pulling the kid closer. A period of silence followed which pleased both of them.

 

Justin eventually broke the silence. “Are we going to listen to our Shadow CDs tonight, Honey?” he asked. Then looking at Brian’s face, Justin continued. “I’m sorry, Bri. I guess you were planning them as a surprise and I shouldn’t have ruined it for you.”

 

“Yeah,” Brian gulped. “I guess it was supposed to be a surprise all right. And I guess there was a surprise in a way. How did you know I had them though if you didn’t see Michael?”

 

“Hunter has ears,” Justin told him. “I didn’t even know who the Shadow was so Hunter got me out some old Shadow comic books. They were neat. I’m looking forward to listening to the programs. You’re always thinking of ways to entertain me, Brian. You are always thinking of me.”

 

“I’ll admit it, Baby,” Brian grinned. “I am always thinking of you.” That kid could turn disasters into fun.

 

“Before we begin, though,” Justin ventured warily, “Malcolm said that if you really like the Shadow, would you want to play the Shadow in one of his dramatic readings of old radio programs? He can get the scripts.”

 

“Sometimes I wish we didn’t even know Malcolm,” Brian grouched. “But I don’t want to argue with you about that now. You can ask me again after we hear the programs and then I’ll say ‘No’.”

 

“Your wish is,” Justin told him, “As always, my command.” Brian was laughing as he got up and put the CDs into the player.

 

And so it happened that the guys held on to each other through four half-hour recordings of old Shadow radio programs from the 1930s. Brian was intrigued by the stories. Justin was enthralled. Brian was amused by Justin’s enthrallment.

 

At the conclusion of the last program, Justin commented enthusiastically, “ Gee Whiz, Brian. Those were great I love the Shadow. Sometimes I wish I had been born thirty or forty years sooner, but then I might have missed knowing you and I wouldn’t want that – not for anything.”

 

“I guess I know what you mean,” Brian mussed up the kid’s hair. “Sometimes I’m glad you’re around too. You aren’t always being a pain in the ass, Sweetheart – not always.”

 

“Well I’m not going to be pain in the ass now either, Honey,” Justin informed him. “I’m going to turn over a new leaf and to start with, I’m not going to ask you again to do the Shadow for Malcolm’s reading. I’m going to do it myself with your permission. I’m going to start practicing the Shadow’s laugh tomorrow. I think I’ll be great.”

 

“But you wouldn’t volunteer for the role without my permission?” Brian wondered.

 

“Never,” Justin promised in response.

 

“Well I’m not going to give my permission,” Brian decided. “The Shadow is going to be Brian Kinney or Orson Wells, and he’s dead. I may only be the second best Shadow though, but I’ll be good. Tell Malcolm to order the scripts.”

 

“You will be really great, Brian,” Justin enthused, “And now that I know all about the Shadow, I’ll help you too. I’ll be a big help - with the laugh especially.”

 

“Maybe we could delay practicing the laugh,” Brian opined, “Till we’re ready to do the program, OK?”

 

“Whatever you think,” Justin was quick to agree. “It’s always what you think.”

 

“What I think is maybe that I’m being manipulated just a little bit,” Brian replied.

 

“Why do you think that, Honey?” Justin protested just a little bit. “Gee Whiz.”

 

“Because I know ‘what evil lurks in the heart of a certain twink,’” Brian squeezed the kid ever so slightly.

 

“I guess ‘the Shadow knows,’” Justin admitted.


	149. Chapter 149 - Models of Stability

Bill Drew had eaten dinner in the loft with our guys. Bill had first visited the loft as a trick of Brian’s called Hotlanta. He had been kind to Justin on that night when Justin needed a friend. Bill was a traveling salesman out of Atlanta who came through Pittsburgh a couple of times a year and invariably ate jambalaya with the guys when he was in town. Bill had seen Brian and Justin at their worst and he had seen Brian and Justin at their best. He had often told them that his goal was to have a relationship like theirs. This time he told them that he had met Paul and that he thought maybe he now had what he was looking for. He promised to bring Paul to Pittsburgh sometime soon and invited the guys to visit with him and Paul in Atlanta. He told Brian and Justin that he hoped his relationship with Paul would turn out just like theirs. That seemed to please both Brian and Justin. Then he went on to comment “You guys are real models of stability.” That also pleased Justin but the kid noticed a weird look on Brian’s face just then. Justin filed that information away for future reference.

 

The future came about a half-hour after Bill left. The guys had just positioned themselves on the floor of the loft, facing the fireplace whose artificial flames were darting back and forth. Brian was just a little slow putting his arm around Justin. That may have worked out for the best.

 

“How does it feel to be a model of stability, Honey?” Justin asked archly.

 

“I think we are about to have one of our really big fights, Sweetheart,” Brian answered. “I might not be in the mood for any of your needling tonight.”

 

“Geez, Bri,” Justin exclaimed. “I’m not needling at all. I was just trying to start a conversation.”

 

“Like hell you are,” Brian replied. “Every time Bill comes here, you get reminded of how shitty I treated you the first time he was here. You’re looking for revenge, that’s what you’re doing. Why don’t you just get off it? You won. I lost. I admit it.”

 

“Wait a minute, Mr. Kinney,” Justin objected. “What do you mean? I got you so I won. You got me so you lost.”

 

“That sounds like what I mean, I guess,” Brian came back. “I wonder why some people who like to needle other people are not so happy when they get needled themselves.”

 

“Well then you’re right about one thing, Brian,” Justin decided. “I think we are about to have one of our really big fights.”

 

“Well then, go ahead and start it,” Brian challenged him.

 

“Maybe I would,” Justin retorted, “But it just might be that some people around here are not talking to other people around here.”

 

And that was the actual case. Justin was not speaking to Brian – a condition that pertained for a full twenty minutes before Justin resumed the “discussion.”

 

“I think we should go to Atlanta, Bri,” he suggested.

 

“So Paul can get a load of the models of stability?” Brian wondered with a touch of sarcasm.

 

“Yeah,” Justin answered, “That, and you know I have relatives in Atlanta that you have never met. Since our relationship is so stable, you ought to meet them.”

 

“Oh yeah,” Brian recalled. “That cousin of yours who looks exactly like you lives down there. That might be a good idea. Maybe he’d have all your good points and none of the bad.”

 

“So my good points are my looks,” Justin complained. “You only love me for my looks and not my brains, eh?”

 

“Well you have to admit you are cute,” Brian pointed out.

 

“Yeah,” Justin agreed. “I concede that I am cute, but I’m a lot more than just looks. You have to admit that.”

 

“I already did,” Brian laughed at him. “Didn’t I mention you have bad points too?”

 

“You’re lucky I’m not talking to you, Brian Kinney,” Justin warned him, “Or I’d really let you have it.”

 

And Justin wasn’t talking to Brian for at least another twenty minutes.

 

“I’ll bet you wish you could have kept Bill here all night like you did the first time he was here,” Justin finally broke the silence.

 

“Maybe,” Brian responded. “Then you could have run over and complained to the munchers like you did that time.”

 

“If I were speaking to you, Brian Kinney,” Justin admonished him, “I’d really tell you off.”

 

“I guess I’m lucky you’re not speaking to me then,” Brian decided.

 

It was another while before any further discussion ensued.

 

It was Brian who spoke first this time. “I guess if Bill were here now, he would see that we are not models of stability,” he told the kid.

 

“I guess not, Bri,” Justin agreed. “Does it matter to you that other people think we’re models of stability as long as we know we’re not?”

 

“Nah,” Brian told him. “We know what we are. Who cares what other people think?”

 

Another period of silence ensued. It wasn’t that they weren’t speaking to each other this time though. It was just that they weren’t speaking.

 

Brian broke the silence. “You are the greatest guy in the world, Baby,” he told the kid.

 

“Well, it didn’t sound like you thought that a little while ago,” Justin marveled.

 

“Do you think I didn’t know what you were doing, you silly twink?” Brian said. “You thought I didn’t like the idea of being a model of stability and you wanted to help me prove that I wasn’t.”

 

“Why did you think that?” Justin questioned, “Or maybe I should say how did you know that?”

 

“Because you love me and you want me to be happy and you’d do anything you think would make me happy – even if you have to drive me crazy in the process,” Brian observed. “That’s what you always do. You really are a model of stability, Baby. I try to do the same thing for you but I’m not as good at it as you are.”

 

“That makes it sound like we’re both models of stability, Bri,” Justin figured. “Doesn’t it?”

 

“Yeah it does,” Brian opined. “You know what, Baby. We are models of stability and I think maybe I like the idea. I like what we’ve got and I want to keep things just the way they are.” He cuddled the kid and thereby ushered in another period of silence.

 

“Hey, Brian,” Justin broke the spell, “Now that we’re models of stability, do you think we’ll ever be part of the establishment?”

 

“Sweetheart,” Brian pleaded, “Please do me a favor. Quit speaking to me, and I’m asking that in a loving, life-affirming way.”

 

“Whatever you want,” Justin smiled at him. “Don’t I always do whatever makes you happy? That’s what makes me a model of stability.”


	150. Chapter 150- Thanksgiving Surprises

The holiday season was fast approaching as the guys sat down in front of their fake fireplace one evening. That thought crossed the minds of both the inhabitants of the loft as they cuddled before the entrancing flames and enjoyed the warmth emanating therefrom. It was usually Justin who eventually had to bring up the subject of Thanksgiving and that is just what happened.

 

“Brian,” he asked, “Did you ever think about what the first Thanksgiving in Pittsburgh would have been like?”

 

“I don’t think so,” Brian opined, “And I don’t think I’m going to either. If Brian Kinney goes hunting for his own Thanksgiving turkey, it’s going to be at Giant Eagle or Shop’n Save and not in the woods. Brian Kinney is not going into the woods with a bunch of crazy hunters with guns, and may I add definitively, neither is Justin Taylor.”

 

“You’re getting pretty bossy, Bri,” Justin laughed at him. “But you ought to know I’d never let you go into the woods with a gun and it’s not the other hunters I’d be worried about, except that you were on the loose with a gun.”

 

“Go ahead and scoff if you want to,” Brian retaliated, “As long as what I say goes. Anyhow, aren’t we going to Debbie’s for Thanksgiving dinner like always? So what’s this about the first Thanksgiving in Pittsburgh? I’m not sure I’m going to like it even if I don’t have to go hunting, but I may as well hear what you’ve got cooked up now. If Emmett has come up again with the idea that we should dress like Pilgrims for Thanksgiving, I’m not in on that either.”

 

“It’s not that bad at all, Bri. It’s just that some history teacher has researched the first Thanksgiving in Pittsburgh and he asked the Performing Arts High School to do a kind of pageant about it,” Justin explained. “Hunter is in it and Malcolm has volunteered to help out. It plays the Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday evenings before Thanksgiving, and we ought to go one of the nights. I know you always plan an early Thanksgiving surprise dinner for just us two, and if you’re thinking of that this year, we’ll just go on one of the other evenings. Linz wants us to take Gus too. OK, Brian? If you say OK, I have a Thanksgiving surprise for you that you will like, I promise.”

 

“You know damn well I don’t have any choice, Twink,” Brian smiled. “Make it Monday or Tuesday and it’s OK with me. I might just have a Thanksgiving surprise for you too, so maybe we better coordinate our surprises. What do you think?”

 

“I think you’ve planned our Thanksgiving dinner for two for Wednesday. I’m not a dope. But let me tell you my surprise,” Justin replied. “You know how you always complain about all the visits we have to make on Thanksgiving morning. Well this year we don’t have to make any. We’ll see your mother at Debbie’s and my mother and Mollie will be in New York. I told you, and you probably forgot, that Mollie’s high school band is marching in the Macy’s parade. They’re going up on a bus Wednesday and my mother is going on another charter for parents, so we can have all of Thanksgiving Day to ourselves right here, until we have to go to Debbie’s that is. That ought to make you happy. Now what’s your surprise for me? I bet you won’t tell me where we’re having dinner on Wednesday night.”

 

“Maybe not the exact place but I guess you’ll get the picture when I tell you my surprise,” Brian laughed. “I did not forget that you told me Mollie’s band was marching in the Macy’s parade. And I didn’t forget that you also said you thought it would be neat to see the Macy’s parade someday. So we’re supposed to fly up to New York Wednesday morning in a private plane with a friend of mine. I have our room in our hotel reserved and we’ll be having our Thanksgiving dinner for two at a place to be specified later but picked out by Cynthia. We meet your mother and her crowd for the parade Thursday morning, and we’ll fly back in plenty of time for dinner at Debbie’s with the gang. What do you think of that?”

 

Justin was laughing too. “I think your surprise ruined my surprise,” he told him, “And we won’t spend all of Thanksgiving Day alone here, but we’ll do that another time and pretend it’s Thanksgiving. I love you Brian. You’re always thinking of me. We’ll have a great time in New York.”

 

There followed a period of silence, which often punctuated their fireside chats. Brian squeezed the kid who rested his head on Brian’s shoulder. These may have been the guys’ favorite times of all.

 

Justin broke the spell. “You know what, Bri,” he told the big guy, “If I’m in New York, I should really see that art store owner who handles my pictures up there. He’s always complaining I don’t get up there often enough.”

 

“From 2 to 4 on Wednesday,” Brian responded. “I had Linz tell the guy he could have you from 2 to 4 and not a minute longer. At 4, it will be either him or me. I hope it’s gonna be me.”

 

“And I hope you don’t have any doubts about that,” Justin assured him. “It’s always gonna be you.”

 

After another brief pause that Brian would have liked to be longer, Justin again resumed the discussion.

 

“It feels like Thanksgiving already, Brian,” he said. “What are you thankful for?”

 

Brian took a moment to think before he spoke. “I guess I’m thankful that I’m getting to see a pageant about the first Thanksgiving in Pittsburgh,” he answered. “That will just be great.”

 

“Brian Kinney,” Justin marveled. “You are one in a million. You are the only guy in the world who can turn his list of what he’s thankful for into a complaint.”

 

“And I guess you’re thankful that I’m one in a million,” Brian came back at him.

 

“Yeah I am,” Justin admitted. “And I’m glad I found you and I’m glad you like me back. But you’re not getting off the hook that easily. What else are you thankful for?”

 

“I’m thankful we’re not supposed to get dressed up like Pilgrims for the holiday,” Brian offered.

 

“OK, Kinney,” Justin appeared to give up. “You’re not going to be serious so I’ll just make up a list of things you’re thankful for and you’ll just be stuck with it. It’s your own fault.”

 

“Are you going to tell me what I’m thankful for?” Brian asked, “Or will I just have to guess?”

 

“Well mostly you’re thankful that you have me to look after you,” Justin told him, “Just like I’m thankful that I have you.”

 

“OK,” Brian agreed.

 

“Now that’s what I call enthusiasm, Brian,” Justin seemed to complain. “You are really a romantic guy.”

 

“Geez, Twink,” Brian moaned. “I am a romantic guy. You know I love you and you know I’d do anything for you. Sometimes you act like you’re never satisfied. And you know damn well what I’m thankful for. I think you should be satisfied.”

 

“I am satisfied, Bri,” Justin cajoled. “You know that and I know you know it. So I guess we should quit this discussion entirely.”

 

“Sounds good to me,” Brian told him pulling the kid up onto his lap, and initiating another of the treasured silent times.

 

Justin rubbed his head against Brian’s cheek. “You know what, Bri?” he said “I bet you’d look great in a Pilgrim outfit.”

 

Brian was still thankful he had his arms around the greatest kid in the world.


	151. Chapter 151 - Protective Custody

The guys had just settled themselves in front of the fake fireplace. They were both staring vacantly at the flickering flames but nothing was said for a while.

 

“Take that worried look off your face, Sunshine,” Brian opened the discussion.

 

“I don’t have a worried look on my face,” Justin replied glumly.

 

“Well you should have a worried look on your face, Baby,” Brian insisted, “Because you are worried, and you’re worried because you don’t trust me.”

 

“That’s not fair,” Justin came back. “You know I love you and I trust you, but I know you ….”

 

“And you don’t think I can take Gus ice-skating by myself,” Brian interrupted. “What in the hell do you think will happen?”

 

“I don’t think anything will happen,” Justin told him. “I just think the two of you will have a great time when Santa Claus comes to the rink, but something could happen. You know something could happen, Bri.”

 

“I guess you think because I only learned to skate two years ago, I can’t skate well enough to take care of Gus myself,” Brian maintained. “But I can.”

 

“That’s not it at all, Brian,” Justin went on. “You can skate really well and you could take care of Gus by yourself, but what if you try a quadruple toe loop and break your neck, who’s going to take Gus home?”

 

“Geez, Kiddo,” Brian complained, “I guess I’m right about you not having any confidence in me. You don’t even think I could execute a flawless quadruple toe loop.”

 

Justin had to smile. “Not at all, Bri,” he grinned. “I know you could do a perfect quadruple toe loop, but even the pros have trouble sometimes. There could be circumstances beyond your control.”

 

“Actually you’re worried about circumstances beyond your control, I think,” Brian gibed.

 

“You know I can’t come with you,” Justin said. “Some of my stuff is on exhibit that afternoon and I just have to be there.”

 

“Well, let me remind you that when we heard about the big Santa Claus arrival at the skating rink,” Brian reminded him, “I told Gus I couldn’t go skating that day because I had to be with you at the exhibit, but you insisted that I go skating.”

 

“I really wanted you at the exhibit, Bri, but I thought it was more important for you to go with Gus. And I thought you’d have more fun too. But Melanie was also supposed to go then,” Justin reminded him back, “And now she can’t go either.”

 

“So you’ll have to trust me not to foul things up at the rink,” Brian decided, “And I’ll have to trust you not to foul things up at the exhibit. So how come you’re worried and I’m not?”

 

Justin was still smiling. “Yeah, I’ll try not to foul things up at the exhibit,” he told Brian, “But I’m not sure it’s quite the same thing.”

 

“You want to explain the difference?” Brian challenged him.

 

“No,” Justin admitted. “I guess there’s really no difference.” That was not really what Justin thought, however.

 

Justin put his head on Brian’s shoulder and there followed a quiet period. Nothing was said but there was a lot of thinking going on.

 

It was Brian who reopened the discussion on the same topic. “I guess I shouldn’t be surprised when Malcolm and Hunter just happen to show up at the rink,” Brian said. “I’m sure they wouldn’t want to miss the big Santa Claus arrival.”

 

“Trying to be a mind reader?” Justin smiled at him. “Actually that’s a pretty good idea. I’m sure Malcolm and Hunter wouldn’t want to miss the arrival of Santa Claus at the skating rink, but I was really thinking of bringing in Abelard. I think Abelard would be better than Malcolm and Hunter. I’m not sure that the football business is over though so Abe might not be available. Hunter and Malcolm might have to do.”

 

Brian didn’t respond so Justin continued. “You wouldn’t be mad if Hunter and Malcolm showed up, would you, Bri? Gus would be glad to see them, I bet. If they wanted to come. It wouldn’t be because I didn’t trust you or anything….”

 

“Yes, it would, Baby,” Brian concluded. “It would be exactly because you didn’t trust me. But I wouldn’t be mad. In fact, I mentioned it to Hunter and he said he was sure that Malcolm and he could come So I expect they’ll be there. Does that make you feel better?”

 

“I’m glad there will be more people there with you and Gus,” Justin told him, “But I was sure you could handle the whole thing yourself, unless there was an accident of something. Linz will feel better too. Otherwise she might have had to change her plans and go skating with you and Gus, and she said she had another important engagement that she didn’t want to cancel.”

 

“Maybe I better tell you then, Baby,” Brian announced. “I don’t want you getting mad either. I only agreed to go skating with Gus when Linz agreed to go to the exhibit with you.”

 

“You didn’t trust me at an art exhibit by myself?” Justin was incredulous. “What were you thinking?” And then Justin dissolved into laughter. “I love you, Brian. You know I love you,” he told the big guy.

 

“Yeah,” Brian replied. “You’ve said that before, but I’m not sure you always mean what you say.”

 

“Cut it out, Bri,” Justin ordered. “You know I mean it when I say that.’

 

And Brian did. So there was another lull in the discussion. It seemed that everything was settled to the satisfaction of both of the guys and that there was no more to say. Not so.

 

It was Justin who returned to the subject this time. “Brian, please don’t try the quadruple toe loop at the skating rink on Saturday.”

 

“Why not?” Brian wanted to know. “You’ll have Hunter and Malcolm there to take Gus home when I break my neck, so what are you worried about? Do you think I’ll break my neck? Would it bother you if I broke my neck?”

 

“Of course it would bother me if you broke your neck,” Justin told him with a grin. “I like your neck just the way it is. But that’s not the reason I don’t want you to try the quadruple toe loop. I won’t be there and I want to be there when you land your first quadruple.”

 

“You just don’t want to miss me breaking my neck” Brian surmised.

 

“Wrong, Kinney,” Justin objected. “I just thought I’d do the quadruple toe loop too. We could do it together like they do in the pairs skating. It would be easy for us because we’re always in sync.”

 

“You know,” Brian mused in reply. “I guess we are in sync most of the time. Could be I’m beginning to even think like you.”

 

“Take that worried look off your face,” Justin advised the guy he loved more than anything else in the world.


	152. Chapter 152 - Seven's a Crowd

  
Author's notes: Justin goes on an unexpected shopping trip.  


* * *

December had brought very cold weather to Pittsburgh and the guys were happy for the warmth coming from the flames of their fake fireplace as they snuggled close together watching in silence – or more precisely, from the built in heating element.

 

   


“Christmas is coming,” Brian announced to a surprised Justin.

 

   


“That’s my line, Honey,” he replied.  “I’m the one who always has to get you jump-started for Christmas.  Should I be a little suspicious?”

 

   


“Yeah, I think so,” Brian admitted.  “Not that I don’t personally like Christmas though.  I really love Christmas now, Baby, and all because of you.”

 

   


“I’m glad you said that, Bri,” Justin responded.  “I have a few things extra in mind for this Christmas.  I wasn’t sure how you’d feel about them but since you now love Christmas, I’m sure there won’t be any problems.  I can tell you that I’m pretty relieved.”

 

   


“I don’t know if I’m relieved or not,” Brian wondered, “But I guess I don’t have any choice.”

 

   


“Darn it, Brian,” Justin complained.  “You know you have a choice.  You always have a choice.  We don’t do stuff you don’t want to do and you know that.”

 

   


“Yeah,” Brian grinned, “But after a couple of hours of your version of medieval torture, I guess I usually do see things your way.”

 

   


“Brian,” Justin announced.  “You are putting me in a serious bad humor which might last as long as fifteen minutes.  Do you think that’s a good idea?”

 

   


“No, it is not a good idea,” Brian agreed.  “I need to talk to you about something and I want you in a good humor when I do.”

 

   


“OK, Big Guy,” Justin half-smirked.  “Let me guess.  I’m guessing that Abelard called and wants to come here to do his Christmas shopping and he wants us to help him – or maybe just me since he knows now that I am the real shopper around here.  If that’s what it is, the answer is ‘Yes.’  It’s not an easy job shopping for Abe since we don’t really know a lot of the people on his list, but he’s a friend and we’ll do it.  Now, see how easy I’ve made it for you.  You don’t do that for me.”

 

   


“Well your mind reading worked again, I suppose,” Brian told him.  “Abelard called and that’s what he wants – to come here to do his shopping with our help, mostly yours.”

 

   


“It is kind of ironic, Brian,” Justin mused.  “A lot of people ask me to talk to you about things because you’re so difficult.  Why would Abelard have to call you since he knows I like him now, and I’m not difficult at all?  That does surprise me a little bit.  He could have just called me.”

 

   


“There’s a little more, Baby,” Brian replied.  “Your mind-reading was good but not actually complete.  There’s just a little bit more.  I’m sure it will be all right though since you are not difficult like me.”

 

   


“What do you mean, ‘More’?”  Justin wondered.  “What more can there possibly be?”

 

   


“Actually six more,” Brian bit the bullet.  “Abelard has six friends who want to come along.  They liked what he got last year and they want to come with him.  They’re gonna rent a van and some kind of a trailer to haul the stuff home.  They can come Saturday and go back Monday morning so we’ll have most of two days.  Well, whattaya say?”

 

   


“Seven,” Justin stammered.  “You’re telling me we’re supposed to go shopping for seven college guys and we have to get it done in two days – in the Christmas rush.”

 

   


“Not if you don’t want to,” Brian quoted.  “We never do stuff you don’t want to do.  You know that.  So just say the word and I’ll tell Abe he can’t bring the gang.”

 

   


“You think this is funny, Brian Kinney,” Justin accused him with a smile on his face.  “You really think this is funny.  I’m going to have to look into more savage medieval tortures.  If we’re going to have seven though, I’m going to need help.  Mikey and Malcolm will have to come too, and maybe Hunter.  I’m sure they’ll do it.  They all like Abelard.”

 

   


“I can help too,” Brian volunteered.

 

   


“You’ll be great moral support, Sweetheart,” Justin told him, “But those college kids can carry their own gifts.”

 

   


“If I were the emotional type like some people,” Brian retorted.  “I could get into a serious bad humor which might last as much as twenty minutes.  But I’m not emotional so I’ll just ring up Abe and tell him to come ahead.”

 

   


“The only reason I’m letting you hold me, Kinney,” Justin proclaimed, “Is that it’s so cold.”

 

   


“And that’s the only reason?” Brian asked.

 

   


“Well maybe not the only reason,” Justin admitted.  Brian mussed up the kids hair and silence returned to the loft – for a while.

 

   


Justin resumed the conversation.  “Last year we got 18 gifts for Abe,” he remembered.  “7x18 would be 126.  This thing is going to require planning.  I’ll have to call Mikey and Malcolm.  There will have to be a planning session.”

 

   


“Do I have to be there?” Brian asked hopefully.

 

   


“For moral support,” Justin informed him.  “We’ll need all the moral support we can get.”

 

   


“I see you’ve already given some thought to the medieval tortures,” Brian groused.

 

   


“That’s a mean thing to say,” Justin complained, laughing as he spoke.

 

   


“The only reason I’m holding you, Twink,” Brian continued to grouse, “Is because you help to keep me warm.”

 

   


“I help to keep you warm?” Justin echoed.

 

   


“Yeah,” Brian admitted.  And another period of silence descended on the loft.

 

   


“You know, Brian Honey,” Justin said finally.  “I think this discussion has kind of put us into the real Christmas spirit.  That’s great.  You call Abe tomorrow and I’ll call Malcolm and Mikey and we’ll be ready to go on Saturday when the guys get here.  The Christmas fun starts early.”

 

   


“Yeah, it sure does,” Brian agreed with less enthusiasm that one might have expected. 

 

   


Brian spoke again after a brief pause.  “Baby, you said that you had some extra things planned for Christmas,” he said.  “Do you want to tell me what they are?”

  
  
”Not now, Bri,” Justin replied.  “We’ve had enough Christmas talk for one evening.  We can talk about these other things some dull night, when we need to perk up our Christmas spirit.”

 

   


“I probably won’t be able to sleep tonight thinking about them,” Brian complained playfully.  “I guess that’s more of your medieval torture?”

 

   


“If you can’t sleep, Honey,” Justin commiserated, “I’ll try to keep you busy.”

 

   


“Even more medieval torture?” Brian smiled.

 

   


“Whatever you want to call it,” Justin told him.


	153. Chapter 153 - Let's Do It Again

  
Author's notes: Brian and justin do some Christmas planning.  


* * *

The fireplace was lit. The weather was cold. The guys were happy – and very tired.

 

“You were wonderful,” Brian told the kid. “The way you managed those college kids and us other troops to get all that Christmas shopping done was unbelievable. If you were in the army, we’d never lose another battle.”

 

“They don’t want me in the army, Bri,” Justin laughed. “And they don’t want you either. And also remember, I have this great career in art ahead of me. Somebody else will have to fight the wars.”

 

“Well the army’s loss is my gain, Sweetheart,” Brian agreed. “But you know what else, I’m glad all the guys who came in from Columbus were straight, Baby. The one who was the captain of the football team told me that if he were gay, he’d be looking to take you off my hands.”

 

“Or take your hands off me,” Justin smiled coyly. “But you’re right. That great big handsome blond guy told me I was lucky to have you, and if he were gay, I’d have some competition.”

 

“Well, anyway,” Brian concluded, “We have probably picked up an annual job though. They were all so pleased. Will we do it again next year? If we do, we better tell Abe not to bring any gays – just to make sure.”

 

“So the fabulous Brian Kinney wants to institute a ‘no-gays’ policy,” Justin gibed at him. “You’re worse than the army. At least they have their ‘Don’t ask, don’t tell’.”

 

“You philosophers can sometimes be a pain in the ass, Sweetheart,” Brian complained. “And a guy’s got to protect his territory so we have to make some hard moral choices. I love you, you know.”

 

“Yeah, we’ll do it again if they want to come,” Justin decided, cuddling in even closer to Brian in response. “And I don’t think we need to worry about who comes. We love each other, Bri. Nobody has much chance of getting either of us. I’m glad you said you love me though.”

 

“I hope I’m not going to be sorry,” Brian looked ahead. “But go ahead. We’ll do whatever you want. I guess I owe you at this point.”

 

“This is going to be a lot of fun, Bri,” Justin assured him. “Remember the party we had for Gus and his friends at Halloween. Well, I was talking to Mel and Linz, and we thought we ought to do it again for Christmas. How does that sound to you?”

 

“In the true spirit of Christmas, I’m not going to say how it sounds to me, but if it’s what you want to do, we do it,” Brian conceded. “However, as the real boss around here, I’m going to make at least one demand. No ‘Pin-the-Tail-on-the-Donkey’.” OK?”

 

Justin could not keep himself from laughing. “Brian,” he chortled. “You should have known not to turn your back on a blind-folded four-year old with a pin in his hand.”

 

“Well, I’m still learning,” Brian replied ruefully.

 

“And you know that kid’s placement was really accurate.” Justin pressed on. “If you had actually been the donkey, he would have had a perfect score.”

 

“And if I had bled to death?” Brian contended.

 

“The headlines would have read ‘Stabbed in the ass, donkey dies’” Justin kept it up.

 

“You know what I just said about loving you?” Brian came back at him.

 

“Yeah?” Justin seemed at least slightly taken aback.

 

“I meant every word,” Brian assured him. And that ended the conversation temporarily.

 

“So you’re all right with a Christmas party here for Gus and his friends?” Justin asked, breaking the silence Brian wanted to last forever.

 

“Yeah, I guess so,” Brian replied. “After all, it’s Christmas. And, knowing you, it could have been a lot worse.”

 

“There is just one more thing, Honey,” Justin confessed. “Just a little thing though. We want Santa Claus to visit for about fifteen minutes and we’d like you to be Santa Claus. We can use the suit we have for the hospital. All you’d have to do is come in and distribute a few little gifts. It will be the highlight of the party.”

 

“I wonder if the Master Tactician has thought this one through,” Brian grinned knowingly. “How to you propose that I get into the suit and back out of it? This loft is just a little small and with all those kids running around, I don’t see how it can work.”

 

“You have indeed underestimated the Master Tactician, Bri,” Justin grinned back. “You are just going to slip out of here and go downstairs to the Russells and change there. Afterwards you can do the same thing. The kids will be so excited, they won’t miss Gus’ dad while Santa is here. Voila, as they say in French.”

 

“I’ve been in this loft ten years, Baby, and I don’t even know the Russells,” Brian argued. “I know who they are but I bet we haven’t said even ‘Hello’ ten times in the ten years. They might be a little surprised when I go down there to become Santa Claus.”

 

“But, Honey,” Justin informed him. “I know the Russells. They’re real nice. A year or so ago, I met Mrs. Russell in the hall. She was in the middle of baking something special and she dropped her glass jar of cinnamon. She was all excited and rushing out to get more when I met her. So I told her to go back to her place and I’d bring her some cinnamon from up here. The day was saved and we’ve been friends ever since. In fact, I think we are going to be invited to their 50th wedding anniversary in February. Mrs. Russell promised to make sure you look presentable when you turn into the jolly old elf.”

 

“Well I might get into the Santa Claus outfit,” Brian conceded, “But I don’t think I’m likely to change into any jolly old elf. Imagine, straight people telling Brian Kinney if he’s presentable.”

 

“Friends of ours who just happen to be straight, Bri,” Justin insisted. “Friends of ours. And I’ll bet you will too turn into a jolly old elf. You have the real Christmas spirit, and you’ll be having so much fun by the time you become Santa Claus, we’ll probably have to throw you out when it’s time.”

 

“I bet,” Brian grounched. “And are there any other little things I need to know, Mr. Master Tactician?”

 

“Not much,” Justin responded, “We think we’ll do the party on the twenty-second, starting about six o’clock and it will be over by nine, and the kids will all go home.”

 

“Will the adults go home too?” Brian wanted to know. 

 

“They will if you as the gracious host don’t insist that they stay,” Justin opined.

 

“And then we can just put the fireplace on and sit here?” Brian suggested.

 

“Well the fireplace will already be on,” Justin said, “Because Malcolm and me are working it into the lighting scheme for the Christmas decorations. But there’s no reason why we can’t just sit here together and unwind. That would be the highlight of the evening for me.”

 

“We’ll have to clean up the mess,” Brian objected.

 

“Malcolm and Hunter, Mikey and Ben, and Emmett and Ted are going to stay to help,” Justin informed him. “It won’t take long.”

 

“Yeah but they’ll stay afterwards,” Brian complained, “And if I chase them out, you’ll complain.”

 

“Gee whiz,” Justin defended himself. “You don’t have any confidence at all in the Master Tactician. I told them they had to have their asses out of here well before 9:30. And they will.”

 

Brian squeezed the twink and leaned over to kiss him. “And Emmett thinks he’s a party planner,” he whispered to the Master Tactician.


	154. Chapter 154 - You're a Good Man

  
Author's notes: Brian surprises Justin.  


* * *

It had been cold in Pittsburgh all through December. The guys had enjoyed the heat from their fireplace – not as much as their just being together though. They had settled down on the floor late in the afternoon. Brian had his arm around the kid who was resting his head on Brian’s shoulder as the fake fire blazed away.

 

“The Christmas decorating is almost over, Bri,” Justin said. “What do you think of them so far?”

 

“You know I have to say I like them, Baby,” Brian responded, “But I really do like them. Gus and his pals will go crazy for them. You’re great at decorating and I’m glad you have Malcolm to help you. I’m not much good at that stuff.”

 

“Well, you’re good at a lot of stuff,” Justin smiled at him. “So I have decided that we are just going to sit here all evening doing stuff that you’re good at. You’re usually the boss around here but I have taken over for tonight and that’s that.”

 

“I don’t even have veto power, I guess,” Brian grinned back.

 

“Nope,” Justin confirmed his intent. “We are not getting up off this floor the whole evening. I think you’ll enjoy yourself though, Bri, so stop acting like you won’t.”

 

“Oh no, Baby,” Brian said. “I know I’ll enjoy myself. I was just worried about you and Mikey.”

 

“What the hell are you talking about, Brian?” Justin was surprised. “What has Mikey got to do with any of this anyhow?”

 

“He’ll be here in about an hour,” Brian confessed. “Me and Mikey were going out to get our Charlie Brown Christmas trees tonight. We were on the phone today and he said he hadn’t talked to you about it yet and he had a couple of busy evenings coming up, so I told him we could go tonight. You don’t even need to come if you’re too tired. You’d be welcome to come along though, Baby. We weren’t planning to leave you out. But since you have decided we can’t go, we’ll just have to ask Mikey to sit here with us. We can’t just send him home.”

 

“You had the guts to even presume that you could pick an ugly tree without me, Brian Kinney?” Justin seemed aghast. “You wouldn’t know a really ugly tree if you tripped over it. It takes an artist’s eye to see true ugliness, so I’ll have to go. But I am shocked at you – that you’d think you could get a real Charlie Brown tree without me. You’re a bad man, Brian Kinney.”

 

“Which means that when we get back we can’t sit back down here and do the stuff I’m good at?” Brian figured.

 

“Not at all,” Justin replied. “It doesn’t mean that at all. I don’t see how you can manage to get things so mixed up, Sweetheart.”

 

“Sometimes I do get things mixed up,” Brian admitted. “Actually a lot more things since you moved in.”

 

“Well Mikey won’t be here for a while,” Justin leered, and a period of silence ensued.

 

Mikey showed up on schedule and after a brief but thorough ear beating from Justin, the three set out on their Christmas quest.

 

It was a good three hours later when Brian and Justin returned to the loft – without any sign of Mikey or of the Charlie Brown tree either. Justin pulled Brian down in front of the fireplace, which was still blazing away. They had not even removed their coats. 

 

“I absolutely love you, Brian Kinney,” Justin told his smiling companion. “You are the greatest guy in the world. There are a lot of great guys in this world but you are the best. I love you.”

 

“Well then you’ve changed your mind from earlier this evening,” Brian laughed. “I think I remember you saying I was a bad man.”

 

“You know I didn’t mean it, Bri,” Justin argued. “I knew you were up to something. You would never be so dumb as to try to pick out a Charlie Brown tree without me. So I knew you had to be up to something.”

 

“Cut it out, Twink,” Brian kept laughing. “You didn’t have a clue.”

 

“No. I didn’t,” Justin confessed, “But I should have. You are not a bad man, Brian Kinney. I did know that.”

 

“So you were surprised?” Brian concluded.

 

“A dinner for me with all of our friends there,” Justin replied. “Planned by you. Yeah, I was surprised. I wouldn’t have thought of that in a million years. I wouldn’t have even planned something like that for myself.”

 

“You’ve been running yourself ragged helping everybody get ready for Christmas,” Brian reasoned, “And you’re always helping everybody else. So everybody thought it was a good idea and we just took over the private room at the diner. It wasn’t all that much.”

 

“Oh yes it was – for me.” Justin insisted. “And you know what the high spot of the evening was?”

 

“I think so,” Brian supposed, “But let’s change the subject, OK?”

 

It did not seem that Justin heard him. “The high spot of the evening was when you stood up and told everybody – all our friends – that you loved me and that you always would. Everybody was so surprised.”

 

“Well I don’t see why they should have been surprised,” Brian said. “They all know I love you.”

 

“That is not what they were surprised at, Brian,” Justin laughed. “They were surprised that you said it. It was so not Brian Kinney.”

 

“I guess they don’t know Brian Kinney,” Brian figured.

 

“Maybe not,” Justin said, “But I do, and I love him. You know what, though, Brian, I think you’re going to have a really hard time topping this with my Christmas present.”

 

“Maybe this was your Christmas present, Baby,” Brian suggested. “What do you get for the guy who has everything?”

 

“I do love you, Kinney,” Justin repeated. “You are not only the greatest guy in the world but you are also the funniest.”

 

“The problem is that I don’t have you to help me pick out a gift for you,” Brian gibed. “How can I expect to get you something you deserve without your help since you’re the world’s best Christmas shopper?”

 

“You could ask Cynthia to help you,” Justin suggested. “I think she might know exactly what I want.”

 

“Wouldn’t be surprised, “ Brian agreed. “That’s a good idea.” And silence fell on the loft for a good while.

 

Finally, Brian resumed the conversation. “I guess you’re just a little mad because you didn’t get your way tonight – not completely anyway,” he told the kid. “You said we were going to do just stuff I do well and that’s not what happened.”

 

“Wrong, Kinney,” Justin came back at him. “Everything we did tonight is stuff you do well. The party most of all. The best thing you do is make me happy and that’s all that happened tonight – and we didn’t get our Charlie Brown tree either, and that’s not something you’re good at – but you’re getting better and better at that too. So Mikey and I decided we’d do that tomorrow. You don’t have to come but you’re very welcome.”

 

“I’ll only come if you specifically ask me,” Brian decided. “Do you want me to come?”

 

“Of course I want you to come, Honey” Justin told him while reaching over to kiss him. “You’re a good man, Brian Kinney.”


	155. Chapter 155 - Christmas Traditions

  
Author's notes: Brian and Justin discuss Christmases yet to come.  


* * *

It was the early evening of Christmas day. The guys were tired and happy as they sat in their usual positions facing the fireplace. They were especially happy to be alone together. The flickering flames and the Christmas lights in the loft cast a holiday glow which reflected their mood.

 

“We do know how to celebrate Christmas, Bri,” Justin said. “And we’re developing out own traditions too. Four Christmases together now. It hardly seems possible. You get better and better at Children’s Hospital. The kids just love you. You’re the best Santa Claus in the world. We have to do that every year until we’re ninety.”

 

“You know, Baby,” Brian thought. “Let’s hope we don’t have to. Maybe some year there won’t be any kids who have to be in the hospital at the holidays. But we’ll do it till that day comes, at least as long as we can. And I guess the Charlie Brown tree is a tradition for us now too.”

 

”Yep,” Justin agreed. “It will keep us young when we get old.”

 

“So I’m not old yet,” Brian laughed.

 

“I was getting worried for a while there, Bri,” Justin returned the laugh. “I was beginning to think that mean old Brian Kinney was getting sentimental. Thanks for reminding me that you are still Brian Kinney. But could you be nice for a little while longer while we discuss our Christmas traditions? I really like doing that.”

 

“Well since it’s Christmas, you can be the boss today only,” Brian told him. “I’ll try to be nice. I’ll even add a tradition. I think we should have a party for Gus’ gang every year. Those kids had a great time here the other night.”

 

“And you enjoyed it too, Sweetheart,” Justin replied. “And everybody knew you did. Even Melanie said you were acting just like a big kid.”

 

”Only trying to help the kids have fun,” Brian defended himself.

 

“Of course you were,” Justin cooed patronizingly while running his had through Brian’s hair. “Sacrificing yourself for others in the true spirit of Christmas. But I agree that the kids’ party should stay. A tradition is born.”

 

“And the endless procession of visits will be around forever too,” Brian added.

 

“Remember you’re supposed to be nice, “ Justin warned him. “You know we have to visit your family and my family and have dinner with the gang at Debbie’s and all the other stuff. And you complain but I know you really enjoy those things too, so don’t expect any sympathy from me.”

 

”I quit expecting any sympathy from you a long time ago, “ Brian retorted.

 

“Remember, Honey,” Justin reminded him. “It’s Christmas and you’re being nice.’

 

”Well there’s one tradition you forgot,” Brian challenged the kid. “One we started last year. The annual Christmas snow ball battle. There’s plenty of snow out there so are you ready to keep up that tradition?”

 

“No I’m not,” Justin replied. “That’s not a tradition and I think we’re too adult for that kind of stuff.”

 

“So you’re finally admitting that I won last year’s fight then,” Brian chortled. “If you had won, the snow ball battle would certainly have become a tradition.”

 

“I think maybe your memory is failing, Sweetheart,” Justin insisted. “I was the clear winner. I had way more direct hits than you did.”

 

“Only because you started with a sneak attack,” Brian remembered. “You were stock-piling snow balls while I was doing all the work building your beautiful snow man.”

 

“Well maybe the snow man can be a tradition then,” Justin declared, “But since you claim you did all the work last year, this time why don’t we each build our own snow man and see who’s is nicer?”

 

“Not practical,” Brian reasoned. “I’ll vote for mine and you’ll vote for yours and it will just be a tie.”

 

“We’ll get a third party over here to cast the deciding vote,” Justin persevered.

 

“OK,” Brian seemed to give up. “We’ll get somebody over here to break the tie, or maybe several people to vote and then it won’t be just the two of us on Christmas night.”

 

“Forget it, Bri,” Justin decided. “The snow ball battle and the snow man can’t be traditions cause we can’t be sure we’ll have snow every year. If we have snow and you want a snow man though, we’ll just do the one and you can do the work and I’ll provide the artistic oversight.”

 

Brian squeezed the kid at this point and the discussion went on hiatus for a fairly long time.

 

Justin had the next word. “Brian,” he said. “Thanks for the great gifts. I got everything I hoped I’d get.”

 

”Yeah,” Brian remarked with a certain degree of wit. “The whole list you gave Cynthia.”

 

Justin smiled at him. “But I also got some other things that I’m sure you picked out yourself. Like sun tan lotion in the middle of winter. Neat idea, Bri. I’m sure you figured that out for yourself.”

 

“On sale.” Brian told him, and the conversation lapsed again.

 

“OK,” Justin eventually resumed the discussion. “Let’s run over our plans for New Year’s. Do we go to Debbie’s, or Daphne’s or Emmett’s or all three? What do you think?”

 

“All of the above or none of the above,” Brian responded. “But I am going to Ibiza.”

 

“What did I do now?” Justin complained. “Everything was going so well. I don’t want you to be mad at me on Christmas.”

 

“You didn’t do anything, Baby,” Brian assured him. “I’m not mad at you.”

 

“But you always say you’re going to Ibiza when you’re mad at me and want to get away from me,” Justin explained. “So why would you say that when you’re not mad at me?”

 

“A slip of the tongue, Kiddo,” Brian told him. “What I meant to say was ‘We are going to Ibiza’.”

 

“We are going to Ibiza?” Justin showed his surprise. “Me too. You’re taking me to Ibiza with you?”

 

“That’s the idea,” Brian affirmed. “And it’s all taken care of. Cynthia made the arrangements and actually we leave a day or so after New Year’s, so the sun tan lotion wasn’t all that dumb after all, was it? And I do want to remind you that I never went to Ibiza without you. I just threatened to go to Ibiza without you. That worked pretty well.”

 

“I love you Brian,” Justin gushed. “I don’t understand how I was lucky enough to get you.”

 

“Yeah,” Brian agreed as he put both arms around his beloved twink. “You sure were lucky.”

 

They just smiled at each other for a few minutes before Justin made a suggestion. “Maybe we should make the trip to Ibiza a tradition too. It sounds good to me and now I won’t have to listen to you threaten me about going to Ibiza without me any more.”

 

“You know what, Baby?” Brian responded. “I think I’ll go to Calcutta.”

 

“You are not going to Calcutta, Sweetheart,” Justin insisted. “At least without me you aren’t, but let’s go ahead out and build our snowman. It can be a tradition for when there’s snow.”

 

“OK,” Brian agreed. “But if I see you making one snow ball….”

 

“You won’t, Bri,” Justin assured him. “Believe me, you won’t. I’m way too sneaky for that.”


	156. Chapter 156 - An Unexpected Celebration

  
Author's notes: Brian and Justin improvise successfully on New Years's Eve.  


* * *

The new year had arrived on schedule. It was barely thirty minutes old and our two guys were in their accustomed places in front of their fake fireplace with the flames dancing to and fro and casting giant shadows all over the loft. This was not according to plan but the best laid plans of mice and men oft get fouled up, and an over two-foot New Year’s Eve snowfall had done that for Brian and Justin.

 

“I’m sorry our plans didn’t work out,” Brian was telling the kid. “We were supposed to have such a great time tonight.”

 

“And you didn’t have a great time?” Justin asked him. “I did. This may be the New Year’s Eve that I remember most for the rest of my life.”

 

“But we missed the great big party at the Gay and Lesbian Center with all the gang,” Brian continued. “Didn’t you want to go?”

 

“Yeah,” Justin admitted, “I wanted to go because I wanted to spend New Year’s Eve with you, but I did spend New Year’s Eve with you, and sometimes unexpected things can be more fun than stuff that’s planned. They’ll reschedule the party at the Center and we’ll still get to do that too.”

 

“Unless it snows again,” Brian cautioned him.

 

“So,” Justin observed. “We can always improvise. We proved that tonight. Brian, this was the best New Year’s Eve I’ve ever had. I’ll never forget it. Other New Year’s Eves are always pretty much the same but this one is one of a kind. I’ll bet you’ll never forget it either.”

 

“And what exactly is there to remember?” Brian wanted to know.

 

“Well for starters, there was the sled riding,” Justin began. “How did you know to borrow Ronny’s sled before he went to Florida for the holidays, Bri? You couldn’t have known about this snow then.”

 

“Nope,” Brian admitted, “But it does sometimes snow in Pittsburgh in late December and since he wasn’t going to be using it, I just took a chance and borrowed it. The sledding was fun though. Maybe we ought to get two sleds for ourselves. It was a bit crowded with both of us on the one sled.”

 

“Brian,” Justin reasoned. “We don’t have storage space around here for two sleds. It might be inconvenient but I think we should go with just the one sled and put up with the inconvenience.”

 

“Well if you don’t mind the inconvenience,” Brian said.

 

“Not at all,” Justin assured him. “It will be no inconvenience at all. One sled will be plenty.”

 

Brian got the message. He smiled in agreement. It was a few minutes before the discussion of sleds resumed.

 

“You know,” Justin said. “It was kind of romantic, you pulling me home from the park on the sled. It really was.”

 

“So romantic,” Brian recalled, “That you felt it was necessary to hit me in the back of the head with a snowball just as we got back here.” 

 

“I had to do it, Bri. I just did it because I love you so much,” Justin explained.

 

“OK,” Brian responded. “I’ll let you pull me back to the park tomorrow. That will give me a chance to show you how much I love you.”

 

“Never put off until tomorrow,” Justin proverbed, “What you can do tonight.”

 

It was a little while before the discussion resumed. Brian knew good advice when he got it.

 

“Where did you get that awful music that we danced to, Bri?” Justin eventually resumed the review of the evening. “Is there really a person named Guy Lombardo?”

 

“Well there used to be and he was big on New Year’s Eve,” Brian told him. “In fact he was the biggest thing about New Year’s Eve for about thirty years. Ask your mother.”

 

“Probably my grandmother would be better,” Justin opined. “It would really be funny to watch a lot of people all dancing to that weird stuff at the same time.”

 

“Well they did,” Brian insisted, “And it didn’t seem so funny to them. You’ve seen people dancing to that kind of music in some of the old movies, Baby.”

 

“Yeah,” Justin agreed, “But that was in the movies, not in real life.”

 

“Well, if we had been able to go to the party,” Brian mused, “We could have danced to the dulcet strains of The Goofus Five, but I guess Guy Lombardo served in a pinch. I kind of liked dancing with you to Guy Lombardo music. I even knew who I was dancing with. Sorry you didn’t enjoy it.”

 

“Gee whiz, Bri,” Justin seemed surprised. “I don’t know why you think I didn’t enjoy it. I loved it. It was just that the music was a little bit weird, that’s all.”

 

“Next year I’ll be sure to have some Goofus Five records on hand in case of snow,” Brian smiled at him. “Anything to keep little Justin happy.”

 

“Guy Lombardo will do fine, sir. Little Justin is always happy,” Justin replied. “Just sometimes he is happier than at other times. This is one of the happier times, Bri. Tonight was just perfect.”

 

“Maybe we should plan to do it again,” Brian suggested.

 

“Yeah,” Justin agreed, “But I’ll bet it wouldn’t be as much fun if we planned it. I think the surprise was part of the fun.”

 

“Probably,” Brian conceded, “But just being around you is always fun, so I guess we can try.”

 

Justin smiled contentedly and put his head on Brian’s shoulder. Brian cuddled the kid closer and a period of silence followed.

 

Justin broke the spell after a while. “I know you’re not into New Year’s resolutions,” he started to say.

 

“And I see you’re trying to prove that being with you is not always fun,” Brian laughed at him.

 

“Cut it out, Brian,” Justin objected. “I’m not asking you to make any resolutions. You wouldn’t keep them anyhow. I was just thinking that I would make a resolution not to be such a pain this year.”

 

“You don’t have to do that,” Brian told him with a smile on his face.

 

“You don’t think I need to make a resolution,” Justin wondered.

 

“Actually what I meant,” Brian gibed, “Was that you don’t have to pretend that you’re going to be any less of a pain this year. You’re not so hot at keeping resolutions yourself, if I recall correctly.”

 

“You are a such a spoilsport, Brian Kinney,” Justin groused good-naturedly. “You know I like to make resolutions. I was hoping to keep this year’s resolutions till maybe January 15, but since you don’t think I need to make any, maybe I won’t.”

 

“Yeah,” Brian remarked. “That resolution business has to be worked on gradually. January 15 would be way longer than you usually keep your resolutions. I doubt you could make it that long though.”

 

If a serious argument was developing, it was averted by the ringing of the telephone. Justin answered. It was Mikey, calling to wish the guys a happy new year.

 

“I’m glad it snowed, Mikey. We had a great night,” Justin told the caller. “Just me and Brian. It was a great New Year’s Eve. Hey, Mikey, did you ever hear of Guy Lombardo?”

 

Brian figured that the new year was going to be as happy as the past several had been.


	157. Chapter 157 - Cousins

  
Author's notes: Brian and Justin are both surprised  


* * *

It had been an out of the ordinary Saturday. Justin had to be at the Institute all day. Brian said he had some errands to run and some things to do. Justin came home to an empty loft in the late afternoon and prepared some soup and sandwiches. Brian came home a little later and the guys ate and talked. Everything seemed normal but Justin thought he detected an enigmatic look on Brian’s face and that made him wonder just a little.

 

After they ate and the fireplace was lit, the guys settled themselves down for the homey evening that they so often enjoyed. Brian wrapped his arm around the kid. Justin looked at Brian’s face and came up with an automatic reaction. “I didn’t do it,” he said.

 

“Maybe not but you knew about it,” Brian responded. “I’m sure you knew about it.”

 

Justin was genuinely puzzled. “I don’t know whether to ask you what I knew about,” Justin declared, “Or just admit that I knew about it and throw myself on your mercy. Any suggestions?”

 

“I stopped to see Gus this afternoon,” Brian told him.

 

“How was Gus?” Justin asked, wondering if the subject was being changed and he was off the hook.

 

“Gus was great,” Brian continued. “Melanie and Lindsay weren’t there though. Gus had a baby sitter.”

 

“Oh yeah,” Justin remembered. “There’s a show at the gallery Linz works at and Melanie was going over with her to help out.”

 

“So you did know,” Brian pounced.

 

“Yeah, I knew that,” Justin admitted. “Is that what you’re mad about? I thought you knew too and what’s the big deal if you didn’t? I don’t get it.”

 

“I’m not mad at all, Baby,” Brian informed him. “Not about anything, and I’m certainly not mad because you didn’t tell me there was a show at Lindsay’s gallery. I might have been mad if you tried to con me into going though. You were smart not to try that.”

 

“Well what’s this all about, Bri?” Justin wanted to know. “You’ve got me all confused. There’s something you’re trying to tell me and I can’t figure out what it is.”

 

“Serves you right, Twink,” Brian laughed at him. “That’s the kind of stuff you’re always pulling on me. Serves you right. Some of your own medicine.”

 

“Well in the United States of America, State of Pennsylvania, County of Allegheny, City of Pittsburgh, people have the right to know what they’re accused of,” Justin protested, “And I don’t have any idea what I’m being accused of.”

 

“I don’t recall accusing you of anything,” Brian replied with a grin. “You started this conversation, Baby. You said ‘I didn’t do it.’ So just what is it you didn’t do?”

 

“Well you did accuse me of knowing about it,” Justin maintained.

 

“Well then, Honey,” Brian was still grinning, “What didn’t you know about?”

 

“Cut it out, Bri,” Justin insisted. “What the hell is the problem? You’re scaring me.”

 

“There is no problem, Baby,” Brian insisted. “I told you Gus had a baby sitter. Wanna guess who the baby sitter was?”

 

“Carolyn, I guess,” Justin answered. “That’s who usually sits with Gus when we can’t take him.”

 

“Carolyn is transferring to Penn State,” Brian informed him, “And she had to be in State College this week end.”

 

“Well then maybe Hunter or Malcolm?” Justin guessed. “You know they fill in sometimes.”

 

“Guess again,” Brian told him.

 

Justin seemed to get the picture at this point. “Oh,” he said.

 

“So you did know,” Brian accused him.

 

“I was going to mention it to you, Brian. The whole thing was supposed to be your decision,” Justin apologized, “I did mention it to Mel and Linz but Carolyn wasn’t supposed to be going to Penn State till next month and I thought I had time. It was supposed to be your decision but I thought you’d think it was OK. Don’t you? They’re first-cousins, you know.”

 

“You know, Sweetheart,” Brian mused. “Until this afternoon, that fact never dawned on me. Johnny and Gus are first-cousins and Clare is Gus’ aunt.”

 

“And you like Johnny and he loves you, Bri,” Justin reasoned. “Johnny’s old enough now and very responsible. I thought it would be a good way for the cousins to get to know each other. I just suggested it to Mel and Linz but I didn’t think they were going to call him till Carolyn was gone. I wanted you to know first. I really did.”

 

“Anyhow, I was kind of surprised when I heard Gus calling Johnny ‘Cousin John,’” Brian recalled. “It was a real surprise.”

 

“I bet it was,” Justin grinned. “I hope you think it’s OK though, Bri. I mean having Johnny baby-sit for Gus. I don’t blame you for being mad at me for not telling you sooner though. I did want you to know. I take the blame for that.”

 

“No blame, Kiddo,” Brian told him. “I think it’s a great idea. I wish I would have thought of it myself. But I guess that’s why I keep you around.”

 

“Among other things I hope,” Justin nuzzled him. “I am really sorry though that I didn’t get to tell you in advance. I’m sorry it was a surprise.”

 

“No problem Kiddo,” Brian said. “If you had told me in advance, I would have just told you what I’m telling you now – that it was a great idea.”

 

“I’ll never do anything like that again,” Justin insisted. “From now on, you hear everything I think about.”

 

“That’s not necessary, Honey,” Brian laughed. “I’m pretty sure I don’t want to know everything you think about. You’re doing fine. Believe me, I’m not mad about this business at all.”

 

“But you had this strange look on your face, Brian,” Justin countered. “Ever since you got home you had this strange look on your face. I knew something was up and I was right about that. And you can’t deny you were going to say something to me about it.”

 

“Yeah I was, Baby,” Brian smiled at him. “I was going to tell you how much I love you and what a great idea I thought it was to have Johnny and Gus get to know each other. After all they are cousins.”

 

“That’s what you were going to tell me?” Justin wondered.

 

“That’s what I was going to tell you,” Brian confirmed. “And then you started off with ‘I didn’t do it.’”

 

There was a period of silence then while Justin thought the whole thing over. Then he broke the silence. “I don’t know why I don’t leave well enough alone?” he concluded.

 

“I wonder about that too,” Brian told him.


	158. Chapter 158 - Power Struggle

  
Author's notes: Brian and Justin are going to see Brokeback Mountain.  


* * *

It was business as usual in the loft. The fake fireplace was lit and the guys were settling themselves in place to watch the flickering flames. Brian wondered at the beginning of a grin on Justin’s face as he wound his arm around the twink.

 

“OK,” Justin began the evening’s discussion. “OK, I have something to ask you and I don’t want to argue about it so I’d like just a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answer and that will be it. Ethan and Tom and Malcolm and Hunter want us to go with them tomorrow to see Brokeback Mountain at Loew’s Waterfront. I think I’d like to see it. Do you want to go? If you don’t want to go, I might still go with them but only if that’s OK with you. Well, what do you say?” 

 

“I guess Ben and Mikey are too smart to go?” Brian answered. “Ben and Mikey are pretty smart.”

 

“That is not a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answer, Sweetheart,” Justin maintained, “But actually they already saw it and they liked it a lot. In fact, that’s how come we were talking about it and decided to try and go together.”

 

“I don’t think I want to see Brokenback Mountain at all,” Brian conjectured. “I hear it’s about two old guys who are in love and they don’t even know it. Now there’s a crock if I ever heard one. If somebody’s in love with somebody, they know it. And they’re cowboys too.”

 

“I can see this is going to be harder than I hoped, but maybe not harder than I thought,” Justin laughed. “First of all it’s Brokeback Mountain and not Brokenback Mountain as I’m sure you know. And it is possible for someone to be in love and not know it. I can think of one couple who were really in love for a long time and only one of them knew it. The other one eventually caught on but it took him some time. And, you know, Bri, cowboys are people too. They’re a lot like other people. They have feelings too – and lives. There’s more to cowboys than you see in those old movies you like so much.”

 

“Yeah?” Brian came back, “Well cowboys are supposed to love their horses, and maybe sometimes the daughter of the rancher the crooks are picking on – but not some other cowboy.”

 

“So you’re saying that gay people shouldn’t be cowboys?” Justin asked for clarification. “I thought you always said gays could do anything better than straights and now you’re saying gays can’t be cowboys, or cowboys can’t be gay, or whatever it is you’re saying.”

 

“OK Twink,” Brian decided. “Quit trying to twist my words. You know exactly what I’m saying even when I don’t, so you know darn well what I’m saying now.”

 

“You win as usual, Bri,” Justin appeared to surrender. “Whatever you say. I think I got your answer to my question and it is that you don’t want to go. Do you mind if I go without you? We’re figuring on the 5:30 showing so I could probably be back here by 8:30 in case you were really missing me.”

 

“Isn’t 5:30 an ungodly time to go to the movies?” Brian questioned. Then he began to laugh. “Oh I get it. Frugal Justin wants to get in before the price changes at 6:00. Always an eye for the dollar saved, eh Kiddo?”

 

“It’s exactly the same movie at 5:30 as it is at 8:00,” Justin gritted his teeth. If Loew’s is dumb enough to sell it cheaper at 5:30, it seems to me to be a good idea to let them. And we won’t be getting the senior citizens’ discount like some people might either. But you still haven’t answered my question. Do you mind if I go with the guys without you, or will it be too hard for you to get through the couple of hours without me? They’re going to stop at the diner after the show but I wouldn’t want to go there without you so I’ll come right back here.”

 

“You know the trouble with you, Honey,” Brian informed him. “When you get the answer to one question, you just ask another.”

 

“Brian,” Justin semi-whined. “Is it all right for me to go to the show or not? I won’t go if you don’t want me to, but I promised I’d let the guys know tonight.”

 

“If I’m not there,” Brian surmised, “You won’t have anybody to hold your hand and I’m sure you like to hold someone’s hand during movies.”

 

“If I need to, I can borrow somebody’s hand to hold,” Justin commented with a big grin. “I’m sure somebody will have a hand available. Ethan will have an extra hand, I bet. You know that old song you like to croon at me, and a little bit off-key too, ‘When I’m not near the hand I want to hold, I hold the hand at hand.’”

 

“That’s not the way the song goes, Twink,” Brian groused. “And I don’t think Ethan’s hand would be a good substitute for mine. Here, let me hold your hand now so you’ll see what you’re missing.” Brian took the kid’s hand in his, and continued. “Isn’t that a lot better than holding Ethan’s hand?”

 

“I think so,” Justin admitted, “But I forget how holding Ethan’s hand felt, so I could give you the definitive answer after the show tomorrow, that is, if you say I can go.”

 

“Damn it, Taylor,” Brian pointed out. “I am not trying to talk you out of going to old Brokenback Mountain like you are trying to talk me into going. Of course you can go. But you won’t be getting kissed during the movie either – unless Ethan has a couple of extra lips too.”

 

“That’s funny, Brian,” Justin laughed. “You never kiss me at the movies. You’re always too busy with the movie to even notice that I’m there. If you kissed me at the movies, I might try to talk you into coming, not that I ever want you to do anything just because I want you to. But the way I get it, you’re not going and I am. I’ll call Ethan in a while to let him know. Meanwhile, if it’s OK with you, I’ll put my head on your shoulder and rest a while. Some things tire me out.”

 

“And some things don’t,” Brian smiled at him. “But just put your head on Brian’s shoulder and rest. He doesn’t mind at all.”

 

There was a period of silence in the loft which both of the guys appreciated. Brian was still holding Justin’s hand and Justin was showing no signs of letting go.

 

“You know,” Brian eventually rekindled the discussion. “I never actually said I didn’t want to go with you guys tomorrow. Maybe I should go. Lots of people are talking about Brokenback Mountain so maybe I should see it.”

 

”Well if you wanted to go, why didn’t you just say so in the first place?” Justin wanted to know.

 

“I thought you wanted to argue for a while so you could think you talked me into going,” Brian told him.

 

“Brian,” Justin responded. “Didn’t I start out by saying I didn’t want to argue about it?”

 

“Yeah, you did,” Brian agreed, “Which is the exact reason that I thought you wanted to argue about it. But I don’t think you should give yourself credit for talking me into going. I always figured we should see it.”

 

“Brian Kinney,” Justin decided. “I don’t know if we should even allow you to come with us now, but I guess you can come if you promise to kiss me during the movie.”

 

“You drive a hard bargain, Baby,” Brian allowed, “But OK, I’ll kiss you during the movie if I don’t get too wrapped up in the story and forget all about you. But you know what I think I will do? I think I’ll kiss you now just in case I forget tomorrow. OK?”

 

That seemed to be OK with Justin so Brian kissed the twink. He might have kissed him again but Justin’s cell phone rang and disturbed them. Brian could hear Justin’s side of the phone conversation. 

 

“Hi, Eth. Yeah we’re going. How about you order the tickets in advance? We’ll see you in the lobby about 5:15….. No, I didn’t have to talk him into going at all. He wanted to go. If he didn’t want to go, I could never have talked him into it.”

 

Brian had to smile. The kid had his fingers crossed.


	159. Chapter 159 - Twins

  
Author's notes: Brian helps Justin make a decision.  


* * *

The fireplace was lit. The guys were settling themselves in front of it. Brian had an uneasy feeling. He didn’t know why, but when Brian had an uneasy feeling, he had learned that there was usually a reason for it. So Brian was uneasy about his uneasy feeling. He was not cheered up when Justin started the conversation.

 

“Malcolm’s back from the dramatics convention in Atlanta, Bri,” The kid told him.

 

“I guess that’s nice,” Brian responded tentatively, “But when we start to talk about Malcolm, there’s usually work in it for me. I guess you’re getting ready to tell me what it is.”

 

“You’re sounding paranoid, Brian,” Justin warned him. “I’m just telling you that Malcolm is back from Atlanta.”

 

“Sorry, Baby,” Brian answered with a grin he wasn’t sure he meant. “Tell me more about Malcolm’s adventures in Atlanta. As if you weren’t going to anyway.”

 

“There was this important new playwright there and he wants Malcolm to stage his new play next summer right here in Pittsburgh,” Justin announced. “It’ll be a world premiere. The guy is willing to come and help out and some New York producers have their eyes on this play too. It may eventually end up on Broadway. The play’s about these twins, one good and one evil….”

 

“Saw that on a soap opera,” Brian interrupted.

 

“You don’t watch soap operas, Honey,” Justin protested. “So you never saw it on a soap opera either. It’s really hard to tell you any news.”

 

“That makes it all the worse,” Brian countered. “I know it’s on a soap opera and I don’t even watch them. That makes it a really trite plot.”

 

“Well Malcolm says it’s a really neat play and he wants to do it,” Justin continued.

 

“I can’t play twins,” Brian grinned. “And I don’t want to play twins and I won’t play twins. Dual roles are not for Brian Kinney, so don’t ask.”

 

“Not a dual role at all, Bri. Malcolm says they need two twins for this play because they’re on stage together,” Justin explained with a laugh. “Since there’s nobody in the world as good looking as you, much as Malcolm would love to have you as his star, you’re probably off the hook this time. No audience would believe you could have a twin.”

 

“That’s kind of funny, Baby,” Brian told him. “I was thinking something weird might be going to come up tonight. And when you started talking about Malcolm….”

 

Justin put his head on the big guy’s shoulder and the discussion petered out into a period of contented silence.

 

A little later, it was Brian who re-instituted the chat. With a big, authentic, grin on his face he told the kid, “You know what, Sweetheart, maybe you could get that cousin of yours who looks like you to come up here and you two could play the twins. And Malcolm was in Atlanta where that cousin lives too. Then when the play goes to Broadway, you could become a matinee idol.”

 

“And you think you could get rid of me that easily, Mr. Kinney. Not a chance. The cast from here will not be going to New York, Bri,” Justin thought out loud, “They’d need some Broadway names if they took it to New York. The Pittsburgh cast will just play it for the two or three weeks that it’s here.”

 

“Darn,’ Brian kept up, “I thought I’d get to see you up there on stage and also get to finally meet that elusive cousin that you don’t want me to meet. Oh well, it was just a thought.”

 

Justin responded after just a brief pause. “You think that would be neat, Bri? I’m really glad. Actually, Malcolm met Wilson in Atlanta.”

 

“And who the hell is Wilson?” Brian wanted to know as the uneasy feeling returned. “Am I supposed to know Wilson?”

 

“You know who Wilson is, Brian,” Justin replied. “Wilson is my cousin, the one you’re talking about. You knew his name too. I’m sure you did.”

 

At this point, Brian thought he knew where the uneasy feeling came from. “Wilson?” he asked the kid. “I heard you call him Will but I guess I just assumed his name was William.”

 

”Nope,” Justin confirmed. “It’s Wil with one ‘l’ and his name is Wilson. Wilson Wood.”

 

“And when Malcolm met Wil,” Brian conjectured, “He saw his twins right there in front of him, even though you were still up here in Pittsburgh with me.”

 

“Something like that, I guess,” Justin admitted. “Well what do you think? It’s up to you.”

 

“What do you mean it’s up to me?” Brian wondered. “It’s not up to me. It’s up to you. If you want to do this, I want you to do it. Have I ever objected to anything you wanted to do, except a couple of crazy things that might have got you killer or maimed or something?”

 

“I don’t want to make my own decision on this, Brian,” Justin told him. “I have mixed feelings about it. I want you to tell me what to do.”

 

“Baby,” Brian squeezed the kid a bit closer. “You know I would do just about anything for you. This is one of the things I won’t. I’ll stick with you through it if you decide to do it though. I want you to do what you want to do.”

 

Justin didn’t answer but he put his head down on Brian’s shoulder again, which was usually a signal that a quiet period was coming, and so it did.

 

“Is Wilson gay?” Brian asked, resuming the discussion.

 

“I don’t know,” Justin told him. “I used to know Wilson really well before he moved to Atlanta. We were about ten then. He knows I’m gay and he knows about you, just like you know about him. If he’s gay, I don’t want him coming up here.”

 

“Are you saying that you’re worried about me and Wilson, Baby,” Brian reacted. “If that’s what you’re thinking, maybe you’re the one who’s being just a little bit paranoid. And I guess you don’t trust me either.”

 

“It’s not that, Bri,” Justin moaned. “It’s just that Wilson has my looks and I think he’s nicer than me. I don’t think he’s as big a pest as I am. I just ….”

 

“Cut it out, Twink,” Brian cut him off. “What makes you think I don’t like having a pest around? What a dull life I’d have if I didn’t have you and your crazy plots to deal with. To say nothing of the fact that I happen to be in love with you.”

 

“I just don’t know,” Justin started off but let the sentence die away.

 

“Baby,” Brian told him, “If you don’t do this play, you know what. I’m going to invite Wilson up here myself. I am going to meet him and he is going to meet me, and gay or not, he is not going to be any competition for you. And furthermore, I don’t want you to try to be any more like Wilson either. You are what I’ve got and you are what I want – just the way you are.”

 

“Then I guess I may as well do the play, Bri,” Justin said through a half-smile. “And you are actually making me do it after all, in your own Brian Kinneyish way.”

 

“Geez,” Brian decided. “You really are a pest, Justin Taylor. But I’m not going to complain. Even though I could easily enough. By the way though, which twin does Malcolm want you to play?”

 

“The evil one,” Justin responded through a more genuine smile.

 

“That figures,” the big guy told him.


	160. Chapter 160 - Surprises

  
Author's notes: Brian makes good on a threat and surprises Justin.  


* * *

The guys practically fell onto the floor in front of the flickering flames of their fake fireplace. It was their first real opportunity to do that in a while and they were both eager to discuss the hectic days they had just experienced.

 

‘I think you were surprised,” Brian told Justin as he snuggled the kid into his arms.

 

“Yeah, I was surprised,” Justin admitted with a grin. “Lucky I’m young and have a strong heart. Knowing you, I guess I shouldn’t ever be surprised at anything but I’ll have to admit that when I walked into Woodie’s and saw you two guys together, I was as surprised as I have ever been in my life.”

 

“That’s what you looked like, Baby,” Brian remembered. “You have a lot of interesting facial expressions but it was a new one that I saw just then. And you were speechless too and that’s really novel.”

 

“You know, Brian,” Justin recalled. “Maybe I shouldn’t have been so surprised though. Malcolm and I were over at the comic book store talking about the play with Mikey when Hunter came in. He looked kind of strange and he asked me how I got over there so fast when I was just over at Woodie’s with you.”

 

“And you didn’t put two and two together even then,” Brian laughed. “You’re slipping, Twink. Old age must be creeping up on you.”

 

“Nope. I didn’t tumble at all,” Justin admitted. “I figured Hunter was seeing things. I told him that I was just on my way over there to meet you and he said ‘Whatever you say.’ Then I guess I forgot about it till I walked in and saw you.”

 

“You weren’t upset, though, Honey?” Brian wondered. “I was a little bit afraid you’d be mad.”

 

“Nah,” Justin responded. “Actually, you had kind of threatened that you were going to do it, but I guess I didn’t take you seriously. And I didn’t see how you could do it either. I never figured that my mother would help you pull this off. I think my mother likes you better than she likes me.”

 

“Well we both know that my mother likes you a hell of a lot better than she likes me,” Brian countered. “Probably because you can fix stuff better than me.”

 

“And maybe just because of my scintillating personality,” Justin gibed. “Well, Mr. K, what did you think of my cousin Wilson?”

 

“Well he sure does look a lot like you. No doubt about that,” Brian said, “But he doesn’t have your scintillating personality, Baby. Not at all. He’s a real neat guy though. I think I should have met him sooner.”

 

“Like before you met me. Like you wish you’d have met him first. Did he come onto you, Bri?” Justin questioned nervously.

 

Justin didn’t get to go on because Brian interrupted him. “Cut it out, Baby,” Brian ordered. “What I meant was that little insecure you should have introduced me to Wilson a long time ago. He didn’t come onto me and I didn’t come onto him. You’re not usually so insecure, Kiddo. I’ve told you that you’re what I’ve got and you’re what I want, and I mean it. And we don’t even know that Wilson’s gay, do we?”

 

“Well I thought maybe he was coming onto Chuck a couple of times,” Justin mused.

 

“That little two-timer,” Brian responded with a grin.  
“Now you cut it out, Brian,” Justin insisted. “You’re playing to my minor insecurities and that’s mean.”

 

“OK, Sweetheart,” Brian agreed, “But it was just to help you get rid of those minor insecurities that I got Wilson to come up here. Wilson’s back in Atlanta now and it’s still you here with me in front of our fireplace. It is you, isn’t it? You’re not really Wilson in disguise?”

 

“You’re making fun of me, Brian,” Justin accused him. “And I guess if I was Wilson, I wouldn’t need that much of a disguise. You might not even know.”

 

“I’d know,” Brian informed him. “I would definitely know.”

 

“I guess it was kind of lucky that Wilson was here when we were discussing the play, Brian,” Justin thought. “That way we could all talk about the argument between Malcolm and the playwright about how to stage it.”

 

“And you guys decided not to do it then?” Brian recapitulated.

 

“Yeah,” Justin said. “We all agreed with Malcolm’s idea about how to do it and when the writer threatened to have the premiere in Topeka instead of here if we didn’t do everything his way, we told him to go to Kansas.”

 

“So I’ll never get to see you and Wilson on stage together, I guess,” Brian surmised.

 

“Malcolm still wants us to do a play together and maybe this summer too,” Justin informed him.

 

“Well there aren’t that many plays with twins, are there?” Brian postulated.

 

“No,” Justin said, “But Malcolm is a real genius at staging. He’s thinking of doing one of those old French farces by some guy named Feydeau, and Feydeau’s dead so we won’t have to argue with the playwright at all. It’ll be one of those funny things where there’s about eight doors on stage and one actor goes out one door while another one comes in through a different one so they miss each other. It’s all a matter of good timing.”

 

“And this Feydeau wrote a play with twins in it?” Brian presumed.

 

“Nope. That’s where Malcolm is such a genius.” Justin laughed. “Wilson and me will be playing the same character. That way we’ll be able to make the exits and entrances so fast the audience won’t believe it. Our character can go out one door and come in another at the same time. I think it might be the funniest thing ever.”

 

“And you guys think you can pull that off?” Brian wondered. “I’m not doubting you. I’m just asking.”

 

“Oh yeah,” Justin told him. “We’ll pull it off. I’ll still bet we could even pull it off on you if we wanted too.”

 

“Never,” Brian insisted. “And you’re not fooling me now either. I know you’re not Justin. You’re Wilson, just getting in practice for your play. You’re not fooling me at all. I don’t know how you tricked Justin into pretending to go off to Atlanta and leaving you here alone with me. Justin is just a little bit jealous, you know. He must really trust both of us – or he’s lost his marbles maybe. Well, he’s right to trust me, Wilson, cause you’re sleeping on the couch if the real Justin doesn’t show up here soon.”

 

“Like hell I’m sleeping on the couch,” responded whoever was sitting next to Brian. “I’m Justin and you know I’m Justin and that bed is half mine and I’m sleeping in it. And that’s that.”

 

“Well if you’re not Justin, I’m telling you the real Justin is going to be very angry, Kiddo,” Brian responded, scooping his companion up into his arms and carrying him toward the bedroom, “But I guess we’ll play it your way since you’re so insistent.”  
“So I guess you know I really am Justin then,” the kid responded with a half smirk, “Or you wouldn’t be giving in so easily.”

 

“No. I’m not sure at all,” Brian allowed, “But sometimes you just have to go with the flow and take your chances. Maybe I’ll know for sure by tomorrow.”

 

“Brian Kinney,” whoever he was responded. “You are a bad man – and mean too. If the Marquis de Sade were your twin brother, you would still be the evil twin.”

 

“But you’re in love with me anyhow. Right?” Brian challenged him.

 

“Yeah,” the kid admitted with a smile. “I’m crazy in love with you but let me tell you one more thing, you big fake. You’re darn lucky I’m so easy to get along with.”


	161. Chapter 161- Let Me Count the Ways

  
Author's notes: Justin looks for a way to confess to Brian.  


* * *

The guys settled themselves in front of the fake fireplace with a little anticipation.

 

“I guess you missed me?” Brian postulated to begin the discussion.

 

“I guess so,” Justin admitted, “Just about as much as you missed me. You were gone two days."

 

“Not quite, Baby,” Brian pointed out. “I only left yesterday morning, and I got back early today and I was here when you got home from the Institute. So we missed last night together but that was all.”

 

“Well that was a long time for me, Bri,” Justin commented. “Wasn’t it a long time for you? I guess you were having a good time up in Cleveland at Sodom and Gomorrah.”

 

“Naw,” Brian laughed. “Sodom and Gomorrah is no Babylon, and you know I wasn’t there. Didn’t I call you three times during the evening?”

 

“Probably just to make sure I wasn’t at Babylon?” Justin guessed.

 

“Naw, again, Kiddo,” Brian was still laughing. “I called Todd at Babylon and he told me you weren’t there. I didn’t think you would be. What would you do at Babylon without me?”

 

“I can’t imagine what I’d do at Babylon without you,” Justin laughed back at him, “But something just might have come up. You did miss me though, didn’t you, Bri? You did take an early plane home. Probably just because you missed me?”

 

“Yeah, I took an early plane home,” Brian admitted. “Cynthia and Ted are still there. They’ll be home on the late plane tonight. The big decisions were made. They said I was no more use to them so I came home. You know, the next time I have to go to Cleveland, I think I’ll drive. It probably takes less time to drive than to fly with all the crap at the airports.

 

“I kind of wish you’d have driven this time,” Justin told him.

 

“I wouldn’t have been back any sooner, Twink,” Brian told him. “So I guess it doesn’t matter.”

 

”Guess not,” Justin seemed to agree. There was a pause in the discussion at this point as the guys made up a little for lost time.

 

In a little while, Justin spoke. “You know what would be fun, Bri?” he asked.

 

“Yeah, but I don’t think that’s what you’re going to suggest,” Brian grinned.

 

“I think it would be fun for us to list all the reasons we love each other so much,” Justin announced.

 

“You think it would be fun for us to list all the reasons we love each other?” Brian repeated in a quizzical tone. “Like Elizabeth Barrett Browning. ‘How do I love thee, Let me count the ways.’”

 

“Yeah,” Justin responded. “Like that.”

 

“Geez,” Brian marveled. “You really must have missed me. Not that I didn’t miss you just as much, of course.”

 

“I bet,” Justin replied doubtfully. “Well, I’ll let you go first. How come you love me so much?”

 

“I need time to think about it,” Brian maintained.

 

“What do you mean you need time to think about it?” Justin was somewhat taken aback. “Don’t you know?”

 

“I just want to get it right,” Brian insisted. “You don’t think Elizabeth Barrett Browning wrote that poem right off the top of her head, do you? I need to think about it.”

 

“Well?” Justin prompted about fifteen minutes later. “Have you done your thinking?’

 

“Yeah, I have,” Brian answered, “And I think I’ve got this whole thing figured out. What have you done while I was away, Twink?”

 

“What are you talking about, Bri?” Justin wanted to know.

 

“Just all this talk about missing you and reasons why I love you,” Brian said. “I think maybe this is all to get me ready for you to tell me what it is that you’ve done, so I’ll have all the reasons I love you in my mind and maybe I won’t kill you when you tell me what you’ve done.”

 

Justin did not answer immediately. Justin needed some time to think. Brian just waited,

 

“Brian,” Justin finally began. “I borrowed your car. You said I could borrow it any time I needed it and you weren’t using it. You weren’t using it while you were in Cleveland so I borrowed it.”

 

“You wrecked my car,” Brian burst out.

 

“Of course I didn’t wreck your car,” Justin replied. “You’ve seen me drive. Of course I didn’t wreck your car.”

 

“Well, it’s because I’ve seen you drive that I wondered if you wrecked the car,” Brian went on anxiously.

 

“Well I didn’t,” Justin maintained. “There’s this girl at school who is really obnoxious, Bri. Her family is rich and she got this new fancy foreign car, which she shows off with all the time. So I thought I’d take your car and park it next to hers and show her up.”

 

“And this obnoxious girl is the one who wrecked my car, I suppose,” Brian decided.

 

“Brian, don’t get so dramatic.” Justin pleaded. “I told you your car was not wrecked. She just opened her door real hard and scratched it.”

 

“There’s a scratch on my car,” Brian summed up the situation. “I’m surprised you didn’t take it to Larry’s and have him repaint it so I’d never know.”

 

“I’m insulted that you’d think I could do something like that,” Justin pouted. “Anyhow, Larry said you’d know if he just touched it up. He said he had to sand it and prime it, and a lot of other stuff so that it would look good as new. It won’t be finished till the day after tomorrow. You can use my car till then if you need it.”

 

“I’d rather ride a motor scooter,” Brian told him. Justin put his head on Brian’s shoulder and there was another period of silence. 

 

Brian was the one who broke the silence, surprising Justin a bit. “The first reason I love you,” Brian said, “Is that you are just the greatest person I ever met.”

 

“What are you doing, Bri,” Justin shuddered. “Are you going to tell me all the reasons you love me before you strangle me and throw my worthless body into some dumpster?”

 

“Your body is not worthless, Baby,” Brian told him. “And I wouldn’t throw your body into a dumpster. Debbie is too busy right now to be solving murders. Another reason I love you….”

 

“Cut it out Brian. Go ahead and yell at me,” Justin interrupted. “I deserve it. I want to get this business about the car settled. You’re scaring me, Bri. I don’t know what I was thinking about with this crazy plan. I knew it wouldn’t work.”

 

“The business about the car is settled, Baby,” Brian assured him. “I think maybe your crazy plan did work. Anyhow, the business about the car is settled. Another reason I love you is ….”

 

“My turn, Bri,” Justin interrupted again. “The reason I love you is that you’re you. You’re the greatest guy in the world.”

 

The guys never did finish making their lists. They didn’t need to.


	162. Chapter 162 - Help

  
Author's notes: Brian and Justin discuss Valentine's Day gifts.  


* * *

It was cold and snowy outside but warm in the loft as the guys settled themselves in front of their fake fireplace. The flames weren’t real but the heat was, and Brian and Justin seemed quite contented as they sat gazing at the fire. Brian was reluctant to break the spell but he had a message to impart to the kid and also some advice.

 

“I was talking to Mikey today, Baby,” he began, “And he asked me to tell you that he was counting on you to help him get a Valentine’s Day gift for Ben. I don’t know why he can’t pick out his own present for Ben.”

 

“It won’t be a problem, Bri,” Justin answered. “I always help Mikey when he’s picking out a gift. I don’t mind.”

 

“Too bad you weren’t there when he picked out that crazy thing he gave Mel and Linz for their wedding,” Brian remembered with a grin. “Or were you there to help him pick it out, in which case it was a really neat gift?”

 

“No, I wasn’t with him and there’s no call for sarcasm either, but that’s what I mean, Brian,” Justin laughed. “We all have our strong points and picking out gifts is not one of Mikey’s.”

 

“Well it just seems to me that too many of the guys depend on you for too much,” Brian returned to the subject. “I wouldn’t be surprised if you were helping Ben pick out something for Mikey too.”

 

Justin’s lack of response told Brian that he was right. “You are, aren’t you?” he asked the kid. “Are you also helping Hunter and Malcolm pick out their gifts, and who else, Emmett, Ted…?”

 

“Brian,” Justin interjected. “I don’t know what’s going on with you. You never minded me helping people pick stuff out. It’s way more work at Christmas when Abelard and his army show up. You’re just a little bit upset, and I’m not sure why. Don’t you want me to help out our friends when they ask? Maybe you want to tell me what’s really bothering you?”

 

“OK, you win. I’m having trouble figuring out what to get you,” Brian admitted. “And I’m the only one in the whole world who can’t get you to pick out the perfect thing. Do you want to help me get your gift? That way you’d be sure to get what you want.”

 

“Wrong, Kinney,” Justin smiled, running his fingers through the big guy’s hair. “What makes all your gifts to me so special is that you picked them out. I don’t care what you give me. What counts is that it came from you. That makes it the best gift I’ll get. And that makes it better than anything I could ever pick for myself.”

 

“You just don’t want to help me,” Brian pretended to pout. “Maybe I won’t get you anything at all for Valentine’s Day. It would serve you right.”

 

“Nothing from you is better than anything from anybody else,” Justin tried to soothe the savage beast. “I’ve got you. I don’t need anything else.”

 

“Maybe, I’ll get you what you always give me,” Brian challenged. “A five-pound box of your own favorite candy – which you then eat four and a half pounds of.”

 

“Brian,” Justin sounded exasperated. “You eat candy so slowly that it would go bad before you ever finished it. I know you’ll only eat a half-pound of that candy, but I can’t just give you a half-pound of candy for Valentine’s Day. You’d go around telling everybody: ‘Guess what Justin gave me for Valentine’s Day. A half-pound of candy.’ Oh no. I’m not giving you that opportunity, even if I have to eat most of the candy myself. I just have to make the sacrifice. And anyhow, I always give you something else too, not just the candy.”

 

“Yeah, you do,” Brian had to admit. “Usually a sweater or a shirt in a color flattering to you so that you can borrow it later when you want to affect the ‘baggy’ look.”

 

“You’re telling me that some colors don’t flatter me?” Justin wanted to know.

 

“I can’t imagine any color brave enough not to flatter you,” Brian laughed at him. “But I’m no fashion expert so I don’t know for sure. Emmett would know.”

 

“Let’s not ask Emmett,” Justin concluded. “I could find out more than I want to know.”

 

The conversation petered out at this point and the guys just sat. Contentment returned to the loft – for a while.

 

“Sweetheart,” Brian broke the silence. “It’s not that I don’t want you to help our friends out, but I am serious about what I was saying before you decided to start one of our little arguments. You are busy at school and I take up a lot of your time too. I just wish those guys wouldn’t depend on you so much.”

 

“It’s OK, Brian,” Justin reassured him. “I love my work at school, and I love spending time with you, but I can still fit helping these guys out into my schedule. I really can. If it got in the way of the time I spend with you I wouldn’t do it. I bet you know that.”

 

“OK, if you’re sure ….” Brian gave in grudgingly.

 

“And Malcolm and me have already got Abelard’s Valentine’s Day stuff taken care of,” Justin added. “We did it by phone since he can’t get here before Valentine’s Day. So there really isn’t much more to do. It will all work out, believe me.”

 

“And so everybody will have a great gift to give their significant other, thanks to you” Brian mused. “Everybody but me. I’ll be the one giving you the dumbest gift. It isn’t fair.” 

 

“You know what, Bri,” Justin declared. “I am going to help you with my Valentine’s Day gift after all. I want you to plan what we do on Valentine’s Day all by yourself. Then you can surprise me. It’ll be the best Valentine’s Day gift that anybody ever got.”

 

“And what if you don’t like what I plan? What then, Justin Taylor?” Brian wanted to know.

 

“Gee whiz, Brian Kinney,” Justin assured him. “If we’re together on Valentine’s Day, I’ll love it, whatever it is you plan. Being with you is the important thing.”

 

“You know, Baby,” Brian proposed, “I think the Monster Truck Pull is at the Mellon Arena on the fourteenth.”

 

“Sounds great to me if that’s what you pick for us to do,” Justin responded. “I’ll have a great time.”

 

“And it sounds to me like you don’t want to argue any more tonight either,” Brian concluded. He squeezed the kid and added: “I guess you know I love you.”

 

“Yeah,” Justin said. “I guess I do. And that’s the very best Valentine’s Day present of all – the only thing I really need. You’re already giving me the very best Valentine’s Day present in the whole world. And I get it every day too.”

 

That declaration seemed to please Brian and the guys just happily cuddled for a while. Everything seemed to be finally settled. Seemed to be, that is.

 

“And so what are you going to give me then, “ Brian asked the kid. “Seeing as I’m giving you the very best Valentine’s Day present in the whole world?”

 

Justin snuggled himself romantically into Brian’s waiting arms. “Well,” he thought out loud, “What about a ten pound box of candy?”


	163. Chapter 163 - Not Available in Stores

  
Author's notes: Brian and Justin discuss horror movies.  


* * *

Brian knew something was up long before the guys got themselves settled in front of their flickering fireplace. He put his arm around the kid and waited for whatever was coming. He didn’t have long to wait.

 

“You got a package from UPS today, Bri,” Justin announced.

 

“I did?” Brian responded. “What was in it? I presume you steamed it open to see what it was and then resealed it – or maybe you just used your x-ray vision.”

 

“No. I did not steam it open or open it any other way either,” Justin defended himself. “I wouldn’t do that ever, but in this case I didn’t need to. It said on the outside what was in it. DVDs of the fifty greatest horror movies ever. You know horror movies scare me and you ordered 50 of them. Thanks a lot, Kinney.”

 

“It’s your own fault, Twink,” Brian informed him, seemingly taking the offensive. “If you weren’t always watching Hitler on the History Channel, I would never have seen the ad with the 800 number. These DVDs are not available in stores so I would never have known about them. And only $19.95 plus shipping and handling. A real bargain. So if anybody’s to blame, it’s you. You wouldn’t catch me watching the History Channel if it weren’t for you, Sweetheart.”

 

“Oh no you don’t, Honey” Justin protested. “Just because I have an intellectual curiosity about World War II doesn’t mean you have to order horror movies. I’m just interested in ancient history. That was even before you were born, and both my grandfathers were in the army back then. So naturally I’m interested, but that doesn’t mean I buy any of the crap I see advertised there.”

 

“I doubt you even heard about Hitler till you saw The Producers, Baby,” Brian gibed. “I think that was what inspired your intellectual curiosity. The Producers was a really intellectual movie.”

 

“Cut it out, Brian,” Justin protested. “You’re just trying to change the subject. You ordered fifty horror movies and that’s what we’re discussing. You didn’t order the pots they were advertising, and you didn’t order that cleaner that cleans everything either. So you made a conscious decision to order those DVDs and now we have fifty horror movies to watch. And you know that scares me. That was just mean of you to do that.”

 

“Well don’t you always say I’m mean?” Brian reasoned.

 

“Yeah,” Justin suppressed a smile, “But usually I don’t mean it.”

 

It was a little while before the conversation resumed.

 

“OK, Bri,” Justin said, “If we’re gonna watch those horror movies, there are going to be some rules set up.”

 

“Rules?” Brian complained. “You want rules.”

 

“Yep,” Justin maintained. “First, whenever we watch any of those scary movies, I have to be sitting on your lap with both your arms around me, like we do on Halloween.”

 

“Fair enough,” Brian acquiesced, pulling the kid onto his lap and wrapping both arms around him. “Is this what you mean?”

 

“Yeah,” Justin told him, “But you might just have to hold me a little tighter if the movie is really scary.”

 

“I can do that,” Brian agreed. “We can practice now if you want to.”

 

“Sounds like that might be a good idea,” Justin replied. “But there’s another rule too, Brian. You just might have to keep your arm around me all night too if the movie is especially scary.”

 

“You drive a hard bargain, Twink,” Brian assured him, “But I guess I can live with that rule too. I hope there aren’t any more though.”

 

“Don’t know,” Justin answered, “But I’m still thinking.”

 

”That’s bad news,” Brian allowed, as the kid put his head down on Brian’s shoulder, thereby introducing yet another pause in the discussion.

 

It was quite a while before the conversation continued.

 

“You know what, Bri,” Justin broke the silence. “To show what a good sport I am, we can watch one of those horror movies right now, if you want to, subject of course to the established rules. You want to open the package?”

 

“We can open the packing,” Brian smiled at the kid, “But we can’t open the package, Baby. The DVDs are not actually for us. I ordered them as a gift for Mikey. He has a birthday coming up and you know how Mikey and me like horror movies. Of course I’m getting him something else too but I thought he’d like to have these DVDs. I might watch some of them with him when you aren’t available. You’re a lot better than any horror movie any old day though.”

 

“One step up from Frankenstein?” Justin had to smile.

 

“At least one step up from Frankenstein, Baby,” Brian told him. “Maybe more.”

 

“Well why didn’t you say the dumb things were for Mikey in the first place?” Justin wondered. “Why did you let me go on like that?”

 

“Probably just because I’m mean,” Brian thought, sliding Justin off his lap and back onto the floor. “I don’t know. Maybe it was because I wanted to try out the rules, even though we won’t be needing them.”

 

It was another little while before Justin resumed the discussion.

 

“You know, Brian,” he said, “Sometimes, I guess I’m a little bit selfish. You like horror movies like Mikey does, so you should probably have a set of the DVDs like you’re giving to Mikey. Maybe, the next time we watch Hitler on History Channel, I’ll order you a set. What do you think?”

 

“Well I don’t want to be selfish either, Baby,” Brian responded, “And I know horror movies scare you, so I don’t want you to order them for me unless you agree to the two rules we discussed before.”

 

“Gee whiz,” Justin seemed surprised. “You really drive a hard bargain, but if you insist, I guess that will be OK. I really want you to have the DVDs so I have to agree to your terms.”

 

“OK, then,” Brian concluded, grabbing the remote control. “Let’s get History Channel on and look for the ad.”

 

“Good idea,” Justin agreed. “We’ll have our own set of DVDs before we know it.”

 

“Maybe we ought to practice the rules then,” Brian suggested. “We want to be ready when they come.”

 

“I was just thinking the same thing,” Justin agreed, climbing back up onto Brian’s lap and pulling Brian’s arms around him.

 

“You know what, Baby,” Brian suggested, “Maybe someday you won’t even be scared of horror movies at all. What do you think?”

 

“Not very likely,” Justin told him, pulling Brian’s arms around himself more tightly. “I’m not crazy.”


	164. Chapter 164 - Made For Each Other

  
Author's notes: A wedding brings back memories for Brian.  


* * *

Brian was faking discontent as he and the blond twink settled themselves in front of the fake flames in the fake fireplace. Brian knew he was faking and so did Justin.

 

“I guess you’re satisfied now,” Brian growled at the kid who was nestling in beside him.

 

“Of course I’m satisfied,” Justin retaliated. “Why wouldn’t I be satisfied? I got my way again. You didn’t want to go to the wedding. But you needed to be there and you went. Another victory for J. T.”

 

“Shouldn’t you be tired of winning by now?” Brian asked him.

 

“Never,” Justin assured him in return.

 

“Maybe we’ll see about that,” Brian vowed. “I intend to let you keep winning until you get sick of it. It may take some time but just wait and see. I’m determined and I am Brian Kinney, you know.”

 

“Trying to take the pleasure out of my victories is mean-spirited, Brian, and it won’t work either,” Justin countered with a smile. “Not a chance.”

 

“I guess we’ll just have to wait and see, won’t we?” Brian maintained, messing up the kid’s blond locks and bringing the argument to a temporary halt – but only temporary.

 

“Gay weddings don’t count.” It was Brian who broke the silence eventually. “They’re not legal in this state, you know. They are just meaningless exercises in futility.”

 

“They have meaning for the couple,” Justin pontificated in return. “And if I recall correctly, you have mentioned that possibility for us on an occasion or two.”

 

“And you turned me down every time,” Brian laughed. “At least a couple of victories for B. K.”

 

“Quit picking on me, Brian,” Justin retorted. “You know you needed to be at Alex Wilder’s wedding, and thanks to me you were. He wanted you there and you’ve known him a long time. And I’ll bet you really are glad you went.”

 

“I have known Alex for a long time,” Brian admitted. “Actually since he was in medical school. We have hung out at Babylon a lot and we’ve been friends and maybe just a little bit more than that, but that’s not why he wanted me there. It wasn’t even me he wanted there. It was us.”

 

“Because?” Justin queried.

 

“You know ‘because’ as well as I do,” Brian delivered a light tap to Justin’s head. “Alex is a couple of years older than me and Brad is a couple of years younger than you. The age difference is too great. Alex wanted us there to convince himself that he wasn’t too old to be taking up with Brad.”

 

“Because we’re so happy and get along so well despite my young years and your senior citizenship?” Justin smiled at the guy he adored.

 

“He doesn’t realize the problems we have because of your immature need to win all the time,” Brian came back. “And him a psychiatrist yet – and a darn good one too. I guess psychiatrists can’t help themselves like they can help other people. He still has a lot to learn.”

 

“Like you did, I guess,” Justin returned the tap on the head. “What he’ll learn is that if two people are made for each other, like you and me, love conquers all.”

 

“When will we be learning that?” Brian laughed.

 

“Cut it out Brian,” Justin demanded. “You’re trying to win this one. That’s not fair.”

 

“Sorry, Baby,” Brian smiled, caressing the twink and initiating another pause in the discussion.

 

It was not usual for Brian to be the one to reinstigate conversation, but he did it again this time. “So you think we were made for each other?” he asked the kid. “What if you had been 29 when we met and I had been 17. I’ll bet you wouldn’t have given me a second look even if I chased you around like you chased me.”

 

“Excuse me, Mr. Kinney,” Justin corrected him. “I did not ‘chase you around.’ What I did was simply to make myself available. That’s all I needed to do since we were made for each other. And yes, I would have fallen for you if I had been 29 and you had been 17. Age in immaterial when people are made for each other like we are. I would have fallen in love with you if you had been 74 when I met you.” And that’s just how it is.”

 

“If you say so,” Brian told him mockingly. Then he noticed an odd look on the twink’s face. “What the hell are you thinking now?” he asked.

 

“Nothing,” Justin told him.

 

“You don’t get that look for nothing,” Brian insisted. “We were made for each other so I know. Just spill it, Kiddo.”

 

“I was just wondering what a challenge a psychiatrist would have been?” Justin badgered.

 

“You little brat,” Brian elbowed the twink in the ribs. “You weren’t made for a psychiatrist and I was made for a bratty manipulator. So we’re both stuck with what we’ve got.”

 

“Suits me fine,” Justin allowed, reaching over and kissing the big guy.

 

“Do you think this is a strange conversation we’re having?” Brian partially changed the subject.

 

“Not at all,” Justin answered. “Haven’t you ever had a conversation like this before?”

 

“Yeah, I think I have,” Brian remembered, “But never without a joint or a pill to bring it on.”

 

“Are you insinuating that I’m a kind of dope?” Justin feigned insult.

 

“Some kind of a dope, Baby,” Brian responded. “Yeah maybe I am.”

 

“Do you love me?” Justin wanted to know – not that he didn’t know.

 

“Yeah, I do,” Brian admitted. “Sometimes it’s not easy, but yeah, I guess I do.” That satisfied the kid and the ensuing silence was longer than the earlier ones.

 

It was Justin who revived the conversation this time. “You are glad you went to the wedding, aren’t you, Bri?” he asked.

 

“Yes, Baby,” Brian replied. “I am glad I went to the wedding. Alex did want us there, and I owed him a favor. He helped me out a lot once when I really needed him.”

 

”You needed help from a psychiatrist?” Justin cajoled. “Must have been before you met me.”

 

“Yeah,” Brian said, remembering things he did not want to bring up to Justin then or ever, and ending with a white lie. “It must have been before I met you.”

 

“Brian,” Justin protested mildly. “Why are you squeezing me so hard?”

 

“Sorry, Baby,” Brian apologized. “Probably just because we were made for each other.”


	165. Chapter 165 - The Sky's the Limit

  
Author's notes: Justin wants to postpone talking about a trip with Brian.  


* * *

Brian had a surprise for Justin. He had waited until they were comfortably ensconced in front of their fake firelight to spring it. “You know what Baby?” he told the kid. “I have to be in San Francisco the Friday after next. I already have the Circuit One account but their rep wants me to meet the big wheels in the company and I think that’s a good idea too. I’ll be busy for just a couple of hours Friday morning. We can fly out Thursday and we don’t have to come back till Sunday so we can have some time on our own out by the Bay. That is, if you’d be interested in going along.”

 

Now Justin had a surprise for Brian. “Could we talk about it tomorrow, Bri?” he responded. “I’d like to wait till tomorrow to discuss this. It does sound like fun though.”

 

“So you must have something else that you need to talk about tonight then?” Brian surmised. “OK, what is it that you want to tell me?”

 

“I don’t have anything to talk to you about, Brian,” Justin seemed confused. “What makes you think I have something I want to talk to you about?”

 

“”Kiddo,” Brian went on, “I just asked you to go to San Francisco with me and you decided you wanted to talk about it tomorrow. I know Justin Taylor and if Justin Taylor wants to wait till tomorrow to talk about going to San Francisco with me, Justin Taylor better have something to tell me, because there is something going on. Justin Taylor does not have to think about whether he wants to go to San Francisco with me. So I think you do have something to tell me and I think you’re going to do it – right now.”

 

“It’s nothing, Bri,” Justin protested.

 

“I’ll let you know if I think it’s nothing right after you tell me what the hell is going on,” Brian insisted.

 

“You’re going to laugh at me, Brian,” Justin groused. “But it’s my horoscope from the Post-Gazette. It said I shouldn’t make any travel plans today. Something about Saturn being in the wrong place.”

 

“Well thank goodness we’re not going to Saturn,” Brian did laugh at him. “If it were in the wrong place we might not be able to find it. We’ll be able to locate San Francisco though because it’s in the right place. But, Baby, we’ve been together quite a while now and how come this is the first time I ever heard about this horoscope business?”

 

“I guess I have to tell you the whole story,” Justin gave in. “It started last week. Malcolm and me were having lunch with this girl from school. Her name is E. J. and she’s crazy. I think you met her once when you were at the Institute spying on me. She’s crazy but she sings real well. She’s very into horoscopes and she never does anything without checking what it says for her that day. She’s really crazy. Bri.”

 

“But Malcolm and Justin are not crazy, right?” Brian presumed. “So they just ignored this crazy dame, right?”

 

“Yeah we did. We aren’t crazy. But she insisted on reading us our horoscopes, Brian,” Justin related. “Malcolm’s said that it was his lucky day and that he should play to win.”

 

“And you two sane guys laughed at that, I guess?” Brian wondered.

 

“Yeah, we did, Bri,” Justin confirmed. “But then afterwards, just for the heck of it, I dared Malcolm to play the lottery on his lucky day, and he did, Brian, and he won.”

 

“He won,” Brian was surprised. “Why didn’t I hear about this before? Wasn’t the lottery up around 20 million last week?”

 

“Yeah,” Justin grinned, “But Malcolm only won three dollars. He had three of the six numbers. But he did win. Maybe not 20 mil but he did win.”

 

“Malcolm is a jackass,” Brian decided. “If he would have had the good sense to play seven million on his lucky day, he would have won 21 million, more even than the jackpot probably.”

 

“You’re making fun of us, Brian,” Justin complained. “That’s why I didn’t tell you about it in the first place. I knew you’d make fun of us.”

 

“That’s mean old Brian Kinney for you, Twink,” Brian laughed at him. “When people act like fools, I treat them like fools.”

 

“Well I don’t see any point in tempting fate, Mr. Kinney,” Justin held his ground. “You know full well I would want to go with you to San Francisco or anyplace else. It’ll be great. But it won’t kill you to wait till tomorrow for me to tell you that I want to go. Technically, I guess I can tell you how much I want to go with you anytime after midnight.”

 

“Midnight/” Brian groused. “That’s about four hours away. What are we gonna do between now and midnight.”

 

“Maybe we could think of something,” Justin suggested.

 

“We could try,” Brian agreed and they fell into deep thought.

 

A while later, it was Brian who broke the romantic spell. “What do you mean, spying on you at the Institute?” he asked the kid.

 

“Well, believe me, this is not a complaint, Sweetheart, but you do stop by pretty often to see what I’m doing,” Justin told him.

 

“To see the art works you’re producing,” Brian corrected him, “Not to spy on you. But it’s true that on occasion I have discovered a few little things that you neglected to tell me, but that’s not spying. Anyhow, if you told me everything that’s going on over there, I wouldn’t have to spy at all. And what do you call it, by the way, when you drop by the office, and I also know you’re in constant contact with Cynthia. Isn’t that spying too? I’ll bet you already knew I was going to San Francisco.”

 

“Cynthia does not spoil your surprises,” Justin admonished him. “She just sometimes tells me about the great things you’re doing that you’re too modest to tell me.”

 

“And maybe sometimes some of the crazy things I do, too, I guess?” Brian smiled.

 

“Could be,” Justin rubbed his head against Brian’s in hope of changing the subject.

 

It didn’t work. “Like as if I was using horoscopes at the office to make decisions, you’d know?” Brian suggested.

 

“Probably,” Justin replied, trying another maneuver to change the subject, which did work. A period of contented silence followed. But the discussion was still not over at that point.

 

Brian eventually resumed the conversation. “I know you pretty well, Honey,” Brian said, “So I’m betting that when you checked your horoscope today, you checked mine too. What did mine say? Forget about claiming that you didn’t check mine out. What did it say?”

 

“It said you were in for a confusing day,” Justin told him. “Jupiter is in opposition to Venus.”

 

“You know,” Brian squeezed the kid closer to him. “It seems to me that Jupiter has been in opposition to Venus since the day I first met you.”

 

“Do you mind?” Justin asked him.

 

“Nah,” Brian answered.


	166. Chapter 166 - Gay Divorce

  
Author's notes: Justin needs some reassurance.  


* * *

The guys were just a little late settling down in front of their fake fireplace this particular evening. They had entertained guests at dinner and those visitors had just left. Mike and Ben had been there along with Emmett and Ted. The evening had gone very well, Brian thought, except for one thing. He figured he had to fix that, so he inaugurated the conversation in front of the flickering fire.

 

“OK,” he said to the blond kid nestling up to him, “Go on and tell me what’s bothering you and why.”

 

“What makes you think there’s something bothering me, Bri?” Justin responded semi-quizzically.

 

“Come off it, Baby,” Brian told him. “I know you, and, as a matter of fact, I already know what’s bothering you, and I also know why. But I want you to tell me so that I can tell you how crazy you are. So out with it.”

 

“Brian, Jimmy and Bobby were really in love. They even went to Canada to get married, like Ben and Mikey did,” Justin explained. “They were really in love – like we are – and now Emmett says they’re going back to Canada to get a divorce.”

 

“Well they have to go back to Canada if they want a divorce, Kiddo,” Brian reasoned. “They have to go somewhere that recognizes that they’re married if they expect to get a divorce. They can’t get one here in Pennsylvania. Pennsylvania doesn’t even think they’re married.”

 

“Cut it out, Brian,” Justin insisted. “You know what I’m talking about. They were in love and now they’re not. That’s what’s bothering me. How could that happen?”

 

“I thought Emmett explained that too,” Brian reminded him. “There’s this guy Ralph, that works with Bobby and somehow or other Bobby decided he wanted Ralph more than he wanted Jimmy. It happens all the time in the straight world and you’re always telling me that we’re pretty much like straights, so how come you’re surprised?”

 

“But how could that happen, Brian?” Justin continued. “How could they be so in love and then end up getting a divorce?”

 

“Baby, in the straight world, about half the marriages end up in divorce,” Brian reasoned. “If us gays want to get married, we’re bound to have our divorces too. Maybe even half of the marriages, like the rest of the world. The only reason we haven’t heard of very many gay divorces so far is that there aren’t that many gay marriages yet. We just have to get used to the idea.”

 

“But if it could happen to Jimmy and Bobby….” Justin responded.

 

“It could not happen to us, Baby,” Brian interrupted. “It could not happen to us. We can’t get a divorce. We’re not married.”

 

“Well that’s not very comforting, Honey,” Justin protested, “If the only sure way to avoid divorce is not to get married. Is that the only reason we’re not getting a divorce?”

 

“Well it works for sure. No wedding, no divorce. But you know that’s not the real reason we won’t ever need a divorce. Baby. And you know what the real reason is. And you also know why we’re not married, Taylor,” Brian smiled at him. “And it’s not because of me either. I’ve actually asked you a couple of times and you turned me down because you want to wait till it’s legal everywhere, or at least here.”

 

“Well you haven’t asked me lately,” Justin seemed to grouse.

 

“Do you want me to?” Brian asked him in return.

 

“I don’t think so,” Justin admitted. “But you know I want to spend the rest of my life with you, and I want you to want to spend the rest of your life with me, and maybe I do want to get married eventually but I don’t want to get a divorce. You know what I mean, Brian? What happened with Jimmy and Bobby?”

 

“Maybe they got married too young,” Brian conjectured. “I think they were both in their early twenties. Myself, I waited till I was over thirty before I settled down.”

 

“Gee whiz, Bri,” Justin protested. “Maybe you were an old man but I was like, under twenty. I’m younger than both Bobby and Jimmy. And anyhow, I’ll bet if I had come along ten years earlier, you would still have settled down then, even if you were only twenty, and we wouldn’t be looking for a divorce either.”

 

“Well, that would have been interesting – us dancing at Babylon and you seven years old,” Brian laughed. “Nah, security is lax at Babylon but I think they would still turn away a seven year old. The thought is scary though – a seven year old stalker.”

 

“Thanks a lot for making fun of me, Brian Kinney,” Justin kind of laughed back. “Actually I’m beginning to understand this divorce thing now – thanks to you.”

 

“Baby,” Brian assured him. “I don’t think you were ever seven years old. I think you must have been about fifteen when you were born, which made you about thirty-five when you decided to settle down.”

 

“Yeah, you’re right, Brian,” Justin agreed. “I am a very mature person. I think I know what you mean.”

 

“Maybe,” Brian wondered. “I’m not even sure exactly what I meant though, so maybe you don’t know what I mean either.”

 

“Yes I do,” Justin insisted. “Maybe you don’t know what you meant but I do know what you mean and that’s that…. Do you think you could ever fall out of love with me, Bri?”

 

“I don’t think so,” Brian informed him, “But you ought to know that better than I do since you know so much about what I mean.”

 

“Cut it out, Bri,” Justin stopped him. “You meet all kinds of hot guys all the time. How do I know that you won’t meet somebody like Bobby met Ralph?”

 

“Because you know me so well, Twink,” Brian answered. “You know that I know I’m stuck with you for life because I want to be. Anyhow, how could I ever find anybody more lovable than you are?”

 

“That sounds like sarcasm to me,” Justin informed the big guy with at least a partial grin.

 

“I didn’t think it was sarcasm, Baby,” Brian assured him, “But since you know so much more about what I mean than I do, maybe it was sarcasm. I really don’t think so though.”

 

There was a short pause in the discussion while the guys assessed the discussion up till them. It was Justin who smiled as he resumed the conversation

 

“OK, Brian,” Justin concluded. “I guess I feel a little better. You are a really difficult person. Nobody but me would ever put up with you so I guess we won’t end up like Bobby and Jimmy. I guess I shouldn’t be worried.”

 

“You’re absolutely right,” Brian told him. “You should not be worried.”

 

“Anything that works,” Brian thought to himself – but did not say - as the kid put his head on Brian’s should and partially closed his eyes. Brian was very satisfied with himself.

 

About the time that Brian thought that Justin had drowsed off, the kid murmured, “I know what you were trying to do, Kinney.”

 

“Well, did it work?” Brian smiled as he asked the twink.

 

“Yeah,” Justin drawled, “But only because I love you so much.”

 

“And I love you too,” Brian whispered, “And you’re never getting away from me – not ever.” But Justin was already asleep.

 

Or maybe not. A kind of smile erupted on the kid’s face.


	167. Chapter 167 - St. Patrick's Day Surprise

  
Author's notes: Some unexpected guests at the St. Patrick's Day celebration.  


* * *

The guys had just placed themselves into position on the floor facing their legendary fireplace. Justin took a look at Brian’s face and was not sure what he read there.

 

“Did I do something wrong, Bri?” he asked.

 

“No, you didn’t do anything wrong, Baby,” Brian came back, “But do you remember a few months back when I was supposed to have an ‘I want to tell Justin something’ look on my face?”

 

“Vaguely,” Justin replied.

 

“Well you must figure that you lost that one or you’d remember every bit of it,” Brian laughed.

 

“No,” Justin disagreed. “I won that one. But I don’t see what you’re driving at now.”

 

“Well, I’d like you to get an ‘I have something I’m going to tell Brian’ look on your face,” Brian told him, “And then I want you to tell me what it is that you haven’t told me.”

 

“About what, Honey?” Justin seemed bewildered. “Can you give me a clue?”

 

“So you have a lot of secrets you haven’t told me,” Brian conjectured, “So you don’t know which one I mean, eh? OK, I’ll give you a clue. St. Patrick’s Day.”

 

“Gee, Bri,” Justin protested. “That’s over a week away. I still have plenty of time to talk to you about St. Patrick’s Day. You can’t accuse me of keeping secrets about that. There was still plenty of time to tell you. I’m still a little bit confused.”

 

“Welcome to the club, Kiddo,” Brian laughed. “It’s just that I was over at the store talking to Mikey this afternoon when Hunter and Malcolm came through. Mikey called Malcolm ‘St. Patrick’, and when they left he asked me what I thought about the plans for the celebration up at Gino’s. I told him I thought things were great and then he said he wondered how I’d take the news but he was glad I was pleased with the plans. Now, Twink, just what the hell are the plans I’m so pleased with? Since everybody else already knows, it ought to be time now to clue me in.”

 

“Darn it, Brian,” Justin complained. “You’re making it sound like I’m keeping big important secrets from you and you ought to know better than that. It’s just that Gino decided he wanted to have St. Patrick in person up there this year and Malcolm’s going to be St. Patrick.”

 

“No leprechauns this year then?” Brian surmised.

 

“Oh there are going to be leprechauns, Bri,” Justin corrected him. “What would St. Patrick’s Day be like without leprechauns?”

 

“And you’re going to be a leprechaun?” Brian concluded. “OK, you’ve done sillier things.”

 

“I am not going to be a leprechaun, Mr. Kinney,” Justin corrected him again. “I am way too mature to play a leprechaun.”

 

“Well, what is it that Mikey was wondering if I would be OK with then?” Brian wondered. “You don’t expect me to play a leprechaun, I hope.”

 

“Never, Brian.” It was Justin’s turn to laugh. “You’re also way too mature to play a leprechaun. You’re almost as mature as I am.”

 

“Twinky, Honey,” Brian demanded. “There is something else to tell and you aren’t telling it, but you’re going to, so you may as well just do it and get it over with.”

 

“OK,” Justin surrendered. “I was over at Mel’s a couple of Saturdays ago. They weren’t home and Johnny was babysitting Gus. That’s when Malcolm and Hunter stopped by and mentioned that Gino wanted a little more stuff for St. Patrick’s Day. When Malcolm said he was going to be St. Patrick, Hunter said they would need another leprechaun.”

 

“And you didn’t volunteer?” Brian seemed surprised.

 

“No, I did not volunteer, Kinney,” Justin told him. “But Johnny did, and so Johnny is going to be a leprechaun at Gino’s for St. Patrick’s Day..”

 

“Our nephew, Johnny, is going to be a leprechaun,” Brian had to smile. “I used to think he was going to be a juvenile delinquent and then maybe an adult delinquent, but never did I think he was going to become a leprechaun.”

 

“Johnny is a different kid since you began to take an interest in him, Bri,” Justin went on. “He asked me if I thought you’d like the idea of him being a leprechaun.”

 

“And you told him that mean old Uncle Brian wouldn’t like it,” Brian mocked, “But that you’d wrap Uncle Brian around your little finger and make him like it. Right?”

 

“Cut it out, Brian,” Justin protested. “You’re always trying to make it like I’m some kind of manipulator or something, and you know darn well I’m not.”

 

“Guilty as charged,” Brian admitted. “But the truth is that I think it’s kinda cute that Johnny’s going to be a leprechaun. And by the way, I think you deserve most of the credit for the change in Johnny and his brother. You’re the one who decided we needed to get interested in those kids and then you wrapped me around your little finger and made me see the light.”

 

Justin nestled in closer to Brian for one of those quiet periods that punctuated their fireside chats and both the guys seemed completely contented.

 

It was a good while later when Brian broke the silence. “OK, Baby,” he told the kid. “Now that you think you’ve got me wrapped around your little finger, you can tell me the rest of it.”

 

“You think there’s more?” Justin seemed surprised. “How come you didn’t say so before?”

 

“And miss the opportunity to have you try to wrap me around your little finger?” Brian responded. “Not a chance.”

 

“Well there is just a little bit more,” Justin admitted. “We thought that if Johnny was going to be a leprechaun, maybe Clare would like to see him in action. You know Clare is not so bad now either.”

 

”So you invited Clare to come to Gino’s on St. Patrick’s Day and sit with us?” Brian summed up the situation. “We’re going to have Clare with us on St. Patrick’s Day.”

 

“And your mother too,” Justin filled in the gap in Brian’s summation.

 

“And you were going to tell ma about all this, when?” Brian wanted to know.

 

“Real soon, Bri,” Justin replied. “Maybe even tonight. You’re not mad at me, are you?”

 

“No,” Brian answered. “I’m not mad at you. Getting mad at you doesn’t help. Anyhow, most of the stuff you pull turns out pretty well. This will too. But I don’t think I’m going to let you get away with it completely. I think I’ll get Gino to limit you to one refill on your spaghetti. Just as a show of power on my part.”

 

“You beast,” Justin feigned horror. “You can’t do that. Only one refill. It would hardly be worth going to Gino’s for just one refill. I’m going to have to try to wrap you around my little finger and change your mind.”

 

“That was,” Brian smiled at him, “Exactly what I was thinking.”


	168. Chapter 168 - Paper Roses

  
Author's notes: Justin and Brian talk about anniversaries.  


* * *

Justin looked up from the computer as Brian entered the loft late one afternoon. “You said not to get dinner ready, so I didn’t,” he told Brian. “Are we going to McDonald’s?” Then he took a second look. “Bri, who are those flowers for?” he asked. “Nobody died.”

 

“They’re for you, Baby,” Brian smiled at him. “I just decided to bring you flowers. Can’t a guy bring his guy flowers every once in a while?”

 

“Oh yeah,” Justin laughed, “But when the guy bringing the flowers is you, Sweetheart, it is a cause for a certain amount of suspicion.” Justin took the flowers. “They are beautiful, Bri,” he continued. “They look good enough to be artificial. In fact they are artificial.”

 

“Maybe you don’t remember the last time I brought you flowers?” Brian defended himself.

 

“Well maybe I don’t,” Justin grinned. “It must have been a very very long time ago.”

 

“Sometimes I do wonder why I’m so nice to you, Kiddo,” Brian complained good-naturedly. “The nicer I am, the more you make fun of me. Maybe I should have brought real flowers. Last time you sneezed all day.”

 

“And all night too,” Justin remembered. “Even after we took them out of the loft. I recall that you weren’t too happy about that.”

 

“Didn’t sleep a wink,” Brian recalled.

 

“Yeah,” Justin continued, “And you old guys need your sleep. I try to remember that. But what made you decide to bring flowers today. I really would like to know.”

 

“There has to be a reason, eh? So maybe because it’s one of our anniversaries,” Brian suggested, “One of our many many anniversaries.”

 

“Yeah,” Justin reflected doubt, “One of those anniversaries that I observe and you don’t even know about.”

 

“There are just too many anniversaries to remember,” Brian declared. “How many are there? I’ll bet there are a hundred.”

 

“No there aren’t a hundred at all,” Justin declared back at him. “There are 72 – no, 73 with the one I added last month.”

 

“We did something last month that’s going to be an annual celebration?” Brian seemed confused, “That’s going to have an anniversary?”

 

“Yep,” Justin confirmed, “And I’ll bet you never even noticed.”

 

“Well I did ask you to post all the dates of our anniversaries onto my computer calendar so I could get reminded,” Brian said, “But you won’t do it.”

 

“Some of the romance of the anniversary is lost if you have to be reminded by your computer, Bri,” Justin informed him. “I’d rather just celebrate them myself. Then I can enjoy them and still not get picked on by you.”

 

“Well I always remember one anniversary,” Brian maintained.

 

“Because it’s also Gus’ birthday, Sweetheart,” Justin retorted. “Otherwise you’d forget that too.”

 

“Guess there’s no use of me trying to remember any anniversaries then,” Brian concluded. “I don’t get credit for the one I do remember. But anyhow those flowers are for whatever anniversary is today. I’ll bet today is an anniversary.”

 

“Yeah, it is, “ Justin admitted, “Lucky guess. But you don’t have any idea what it’s the anniversary of.”

 

“Nevertheless we’re going to celebrate it, whatever it is,” Brian insisted. “You already got the flowers and now I’m taking you to Gino’s for dinner. Go get dressed but don’t wear a tie. If I have to tie it, I might just be tempted to tighten it a little more than necessary.”

 

Justin did as instructed but called out to Brian from the bedroom, “This is a bad night to go to Gino’s, Bri. It’s not ‘All you can eat night.’”

 

“It is for you,” Brian told him. “Gino knows you’re coming and he promised to prepare extra food. It will be ‘All you can eat night’ for you. I think of everything when I’m celebrating an anniversary.”

 

“Even if you have no idea of what the anniversary is,” Justin laughed as he came out and hugged Brian. “You’re really romantic, Bri, just that you’re romantic in your own way.”

 

“That’s me,” Brian mused, “Brian Kinney, the incurable romantic,” as they departed from the loft on the way to Mount Washington.

 

They had their usual good meal at Gino’s. Justin had his usual three refills on the spaghetti to Brian’s wonderment, and after walking up and down Grandview Avenue for a while, they returned to the loft.

 

Justin lit the fireplace and within ten minutes the guys were comfortably ensconced, watching the flames flicker.

 

Justin began the discussion after a short period of silence. “Aren’t you ever going to tell me why the flowers and the dinner?” he asked Brian.

 

“Do I have to have a reason for bringing you flowers and taking you out to dinner?” Brian questioned back. “Can’t I just do it because I love you and I want to let you know? And of course, it was an anniversary we were celebrating too. Baby, I will learn all the anniversaries if you want me to.”

 

“No,” Justin replied. “Let’s just let things as they are. I’ll remind you about all the really big anniversaries if you really want me to.”

 

“OK,” Brian agreed. “And you didn’t mind that the flowers were artificial?” Brian continued. “I was only thinking of you.”

 

“Like you always do,” Justin responded cuddling closer to a not unwilling Brian. “And I’m not sneezing so we can both get a full night’s sleep.”

 

“I’m not tired though,” Brian told him.

 

“Me neither,” Justin agreed. “I’m so excited I could stay up all night. This was such a great evening.” Another period of silence ensued. Eventually, Justin’s head fell onto Brian’s shoulder. The kid was asleep.

 

Brian looked at him. He loved having the twink fall asleep in his arms and on his shoulder. He loved just looking at the kid. Brian gazed down on the sleeping Justin. He remembered clearly the first time that had ever happened. And he would never forget. But Brian didn’t remember the date so he made a mental note to ask the kid when he woke up. It was an anniversary Brian wanted to observe.


	169. Chapter 169 - Just the Way You Are

  
Author's notes: Brian and justin discuss body building.  


* * *

It had been a quieter day than he had expected. That’s what Brian was thinking as the two occupants of the loft settled down in front of their fake fireplace. Brian wrapped his arm around the kid, and a comfortable situation seemed to be developing. Things, however, are not always what they seem, and with Brian and Justin actually, seldom what they seem.

 

Brian opened the conversation. “Bob over at the gym says you were talking to him, Baby,” he said. “He says you want to go on a weight lifting program. I was surprised.”

 

“Why would you be surprised?” Justin wanted to know. “Don’t I go with you to the gym almost every time you go - and I only miss when I have something I can’t postpone. I’m at the gym almost as much as you are.”

 

“Yeah, you are,” Brian laughingly agreed. “You’re there all right but you don’t do anything there – except maybe watch me working out. I thought you just went there to be with me. It never occurred to me that you were into body building.”

 

“That’s not fair,” Justin protested. “I work as hard at the gym as Emmett does.”

 

“Yeah, you do,” Brian had to agree, “And with just about the same results.”

 

“Well maybe you don’t remember, Kinney,” Justin came back at him, “But you once told me I was flabby.”

 

“Actually, I think I did say once that you were scrawny,” Brian did remember, “But that was years ago and I was only kidding then and you knew I was only kidding. And, I guess I should also mention, if you didn’t know I was kidding, that it sure took a long time for you to decide to do something about it.”

 

“Well, I was young then,” Justin told him. “And I thought I was immortal. Now that I’m getting older, I can see why you have to work out so hard and so often. You don’t want me to be soft and flabby, do you?”

 

“Well I actually think of you as soft and cuddly,” Brian replied. “And you haven’t heard me complaining, have you? I haven’t been pressuring you to do any body building.”

 

“Don’t you want me to go on the weight lifting program, Bri?” Justin told him. “If you don’t want me to, I won’t. You know I mostly do what you want me to do.”

 

“You mostly do what I want you to do because I mostly want you to do what you want to do,” Brian explained. “And that’s what I want you to do now too. I want you to do what you want to do.”

 

“Soft and cuddly, eh?” Justin cajoled. “Well, maybe in a few months you’ll think you’re cuddling up to a rock. How does that sound?”

 

“I’ll have to wait and see, I guess, Honey,” Brian responded. “But, sometimes I have already felt like I was cuddling up to a rock, a soft and cuddly rock though.”

 

“Care to elaborate on that, Mr. Kinney?” Justin asked him.

 

“Nope,” Brian told him. “If it’s all right with you, I’d just like to cuddle up with my soft and cuddly boy friend while I have the chance.”

 

Justin didn’t answer but Brian got the message that Justin did not mind, so that’s what they did for a lengthy period.

 

It was Brian who finally got the conversation restarted. “Where did you get the idea to go on the body building stuff, Baby?” Brian asked.

 

“When I went to the dentist last week,” Justin said. “There was this thing in a magazine about how important it is to keep fit.”

 

“Geez,” Brian allowed. “Maybe it would be better to just let your teeth go bad, Baby. Every time you hit Dr. O’Hare’s office, you come home with some crazy idea you got from some magazine. Lucky we don’t have any magazines around here.”

 

“I know you like to protect me, Bri,” Justin laughed. “But you can’t protect me from magazines. They’re everywhere. You’ll just have to live with it.”

 

“I hope it wasn’t that crazy old ad where some bully kicks sand in your face at the beach so you have to get strong to protect yourself,” Brian laughed back at him.

 

“Yeah, that was it,” Justin sounded surprised. “You must read magazines too.”

 

“I hope Dr. O’Hare’s dental techniques are newer than his magazines,” Brian concluded. “But, you don’t have to do the body building stuff if you don’t want to. You just have to stay off the beach unless I go with you. I’ll take care of any bullies who kick sand in you face at the beach. You know how I like to protect you.”

 

“”Will you help me with my exercises, Bri?” Justin returned to the main subject of discussion. “Sometimes you need to have somebody help you with some of the stuff.”

 

“I will if you want me too,” Brian said, “But you might be better off with somebody else. I love you, you know, and maybe I’d be too easy with you.”

 

“Or maybe too hard?” Justin wondered.

 

“Maybe,” Brian agreed. And another quiet period enveloped the loft.

 

“You know what, Bri?” Justin reopened the talk, “I don’t think you want me to go on this body building regimen at all. You act like you want me stay soft and flabby.”

 

”Soft and cuddly,” Brian corrected him. “You know what, Baby, maybe I do want you not to change. I love you the way you are. I guess maybe I don’t want you to change. I really do love you just the way you are.”

 

“And that’s really romantic, Bri,” Justin told him, running his hand through the big guy’s hair. “By the way, do you know what today is?”

 

“Probably one of our many anniversaries?” Brian conjectured. “Is this the anniversary of the first time we ate Fettucine Alfredo together maybe?”

 

“This is April 1, Brian,” Justin replied. “April Fools’ Day. One of my favorite days.”

 

“And for very good reasons too,” Brian came back. “And so all this stuff about body building was some kind of a joke?”

 

“Yeah,” Justin admitted. “Unless you really want me to do it. I’ll do it if you want me to.”

 

“No,” Brian told him. “Stay soft and cuddly. I love you just the way you are. Even with that extremey warped sense of humor you have. I still love you just the way you are.”

 

“Well, I love you just the way you are too,” Justin said, “And I also want to thank you for not pulling any tricks on me today. You’re so nice to me – to always let me win.”

 

“The day’s not over yet,” Brian replied laconically.

 

“You mean maybe you still have something up your sleeve?” Justin inquired, “And maybe I haven’t won yet?”

 

“Maybe not,” Brian answered.

 

“Yes, I have,” Justin insisted. “I’ve already won. I’ve got you – just the way you are. Try whatever you want to, Kinney. I’ve still won.”

 

Brian happily cuddled his twink closer to him. He smiled to himself but he didn’t say anything. If that’s what Justin thought, he mused, then the joke was on Justin.


	170. Chapter 170 - Mismatched

  
Author's notes: Justin gets a surprise.  


* * *

Things were a little different in the loft on this particular evening as the guys settled themselves down in front of their fake fireplace. The flames flickered as usual and Brian had his arms around the kid but there was a scowl on each of their faces.

 

“Sometimes you really get odd things into your mind, Baby,” Brian was telling Justin. “And this is definitely one of them. I’d actually laugh at you but it would just make you mad and I don’t need to do that.”

 

“No you don’t” Justin grudgingly agreed. “But I don’t know why you had to take that crazy account in the first place.”

 

“That’s what I do, Honey,” Brian explained with a smile. “I’m in advertising. My job is to help people sell their products – even if the products don’t always work.”

 

“Well your darn publicity acts like this particular product always works,” Justin complained.

 

“Sunshine, you know damn well that’s what I’m supposed to do,” Brian tried to reason. “You don’t sell a product by saying it doesn’t work. You know the problem here might just be that you don’t always mind your own business.”

 

“That’s not fair, Brian,” Justin defended himself. “I was not nebbing into anybody’s business. Actually I thought I was kind of helping. And it wouldn’t have happened at all if you hadn’t kept me waiting around your office for two hours.”

 

“Baby,” Brian pointed out. “I was out at a meeting. I did not know you were going to stop by so I can’t see how I kept you waiting. And actually, Cynthia and I had decided, for some reason or other, not to tell you about this account, but you had to spend the two hours with Rodney, who is the worst intern we have ever had at Kinnetics. Big mouth Rodney, who, we think, makes eyes at you whenever you come into the office, Justin my dear.”

 

“Don’t try to change the subject, Kinney,” Justin complained. “Rodney is a kind of dolt but Rodney is not the problem. The problem is True Love by Computer, which is a half-ass company if I ever heard of one.”

 

“True Love by Computer is a business,” Brian reminded him. “They have an advertising budget and they want to spend it with us. That’s our business, Kiddo. I’m trying to help them sell their product. That’s my job.”

 

“And that’s why you filled out their screening questionnaire, I guess,” Justin griped.

 

“Yep,” Brian told him. “That’s why I filled out their screening questionnaire. Everybody in the office filled out the questionnaire so we would get a feel for what we were trying to sell. We did not submit those questionnaires to the computer though. Nobody was looking for a love match, Baby. Nobody in the office was looking for anybody. Some of us thought we had found the right person all by ourselves. That’s what I thought. We just did the questionnaires for the experience of doing it. And it was helpful in developing the campaign, which also by the way has definitely improved sales for TLBC.”

 

“Well I don’t see how filling out the questionnaire would be such a help,” Justin insisted.

 

“Then Baby,” Brian came back at him, “I wonder just why you convinced stupid Rodney to let you fill out the questionnaire?”

 

“Maybe just to see what you were up to?” Justin posited. “And maybe to pass the time while I was patiently waiting for you.”

 

“That could be. Then maybe you’d like to go on and explain why you convinced moony Rodney to submit your questionnaire to the computer?” Brian argued. “And then got him to submit my questionnaire too so you could see what came out.”

 

“Well I didn’t think the computer would say we were incompatible,” Justin groused. “It said we were a mismatch.”

 

Brian had to laugh. “I guess it’s a good thing we found out in time, Sweetheart,” Brian inferred. “We might have lived together very happily for sixty years or more and never even suspected that we were incompatible.”

 

“Cut it out, Kinney,” Justin insisted. “I have no intention of giving you up just because we’re mismatched. I love you even if we are incompatible.”

 

“Then what the hell are you grouching about, Taylor?” Brian asked. “What do you want me to do?”

 

“I want you to tell me you love me,” Justin told him.

 

“I love you,” Brian told him back.

 

“I want you to mean it,” Justin continued with a bit of impatience in his voice.

 

“I mean it,” Brian said.

 

“Well act like it,” Justin insisted.

 

Brian squeezed the kid and Justin’s head fell onto Brian’s shoulder.

 

It was a few minutes before Brian resumed the discussion only because he thought he had to. “Baby, there’s another little thing you probably should know,” Brian admitted. “There’s a TV commercial coming out next month and I make a short appearance in it. I just flash onto the screen and say ‘I found my true love on True Love by Computer.’ Then I fade out. TLBC wanted me in the commercial. It was not my idea.”

 

Brian was relieved when Justin began to laugh. “You liar,” he told Brian. “You big liar. How could you say that? You found your true love under a lamp post outside of Babylon.”

 

“Lamp posts outside of Babylon are not paying Kinnetics a nice fee,” Brian explained. “Sometimes we advertisers have to stretch the truth a little.”

 

“Well then, how do I know you really love me when you say that you do?” Justin wanted to know.

 

Brian smiled at him. “There’s an old song called ‘How can you believe me when I say I love you when you know I’ve been a liar all my life?’” he told the kid. “But I think you do know I love you whether I tell you I do or not.”

 

“Yeah, I know,” Justin admitted. “Even if we are incompatible and mismatched.”

 

“Baby,” Brian told the kid. “Us advertisers are born liars but I got to tell you the truth this once. There’s an envelope over by your computer for you to look at. I had Cynthia run your TLBC profile through the computer with Rodney’s. You guys are perfectly suited to each other. So ….”

 

“Cut it out Brian,” Justin commanded as he silenced Brian by kissing him, all of which led to a prolonged halt in the conversation.

 

It was a while before Justin concluded the conversation for the night. “Bri,” he said. “From now on, I think I’ll call ahead every time I’m going to stop by your office.”

 

“Good idea,” Brian agreed. “And if you do just stop by and I’m not there, please don’t wait for me.”

 

And the evening’s discussion must have worked out well enough for the guys. Afterwards, Brian and Justin seemed more compatible than True Love by Computer would have expected, and they didn’t seem mismatched at all.


	171. Chapter 171- Taking Orders

  
Author's notes: Brian and Justin discuss Easter candy.  


* * *

The fire was lit.  Spring was in the air but the guys had not yet turned off the heating element in their fake fireplace.  They were enjoying that warmth during a pre-Easter cool spell while they sat watching the flames darting to and fro.  It would have been a perfect evening for them to sit in quiet contentment and just enjoy each other’s company.  It didn’t happen.

 

   


“Easter is just around the corner, Brian,” Justin began.

 

   


“And I hope you’re not going to bring up the subject of last Easter, Baby,” Brian replied.  “Last Easter is history, Sweetheart.”

 

   


“History has a way of repeating itself, Bri,” Justin reasoned.  “That’s what somebody smart once said.  Naturally, I am not going to complain because you ate the chocolate bunny that I got for Gus last year.  Fortunately I found out about that in time to replace it in Gus’ Easter basket so there was no harm done.”

 

   


“The devil made me do it,” Brian laughed.  “But I got religion since then so it won’t happen again.  And if I recall correctly, you helped me eat that chocolate bunny, my sweet and sweets-loving, never-do-anything-wrong twink.”

 

   


“One little ear,” Justin pointed out, “And only after I knew I had to get a new one for Gus.”

 

   


“OK, Baby,” Brian conceded.  “I’ll try to control myself this year.  I don’t think you’ll have any problem.”

 

   


“It just can’t happen this year, Bri,” Justin informed him.  “It just can’t.  That’s why I’m warning you in advance.  This year I’m having Gus’s chocolate rabbit specially made.  It’s going to be playing a violin.  If ‘anything’ should happen to that rabbit, I won’t be able to replace it in time.  Just so you know.”

 

   


“I’m surprised you don’t just keep it at the candy store until Easter,” Brian groused good-naturedly, “Since you obviously don’t trust my self-discipline.”

 

   


“I did think of that, Honey,” Justin told him, “But it would be way more convenient to pick it up a couple of days early.  And I don’t doubt your self-discipline at all.  It’s just that maybe I don’t trust you.”

 

   


“Isn’t love supposed to be based on trust?” Brian wanted to know.

 

   


“Cut it out, Brian,” Justin demanded.  “I love you and you know it.  I trust you and you know it.  Chocolate is just a separate case.  So cut it out.”

 

   


“You getting one of those violin-playing rabbits for Ethan too?” Brian wanted to know.

 

   


“I thought about it,” Justin answered, “But Eth is having a bit of a weight problem right now so I figured I better not.”

 

   


“The fiddler is getting fat,” Brian echoed.  “He always did look a little chunky to me.  Bet you’re glad you picked me instead of him.”

 

   


“Now who’s bringing up history?” It was Justin’s turn to grouse.  “And anyhow, I didn’t pick you over him or anybody else.  I just picked you.  There was never anybody else, and there never will be, unless maybe you try to eat Gus’ bunny again this year.  But if you really want to know, I am very glad I picked you, as if you didn’t already know that.”

 

   


Justin snuggled up closer to Brian as a signal that the discussion was over, at least temporarily.  And so silence ensued for a while.

 

   


“Actually, Brian Honey,” Justin finally broke the silence.  “I’m going to stop at the candy store tomorrow so I’m taking orders.  If there’s anything special you’d like, I can order it for you.  I’m getting fruit and nut eggs for your mother and my mother and ….”

 

   


“Naw,” Brian cut in.  “I better follow Ethan’s example.  If I want any chocolate over the holiday, I can just finish up that candy you gave me for Valentine’s Day.”

 

   


“You ought to have some fresh stuff for Easter, Bri,” Justin protested.  “Easter is special and I want you to have something special.”

 

   


“Baby, that stuff you got me on Valentine’s Day was special,” Brian assured him, “And I didn’t really eat all that much of it.  We don’t want it to go bad.”

 

   


“I think I should order you a chocolate nougat egg, maybe just small or medium,” Justin went on as if Brian hadn’t said anything at all.

 

   


“You know, Baby,” Brian tried again.  “All this talk about chocolate is getting to me.  Where is that Valentine’s Day candy anyhow?  I think I could handle a piece or two of that.”

 

   


“I don’t know, Honey,” Justin looked thoughtful.  “I don’t recall seeing it around lately.”

 

   


“Me neither,” Brian agreed.  “I can’t believe it’s all gone.”

 

   


“Well maybe it is,” Justin posited.  “We’ve had a lot of company since Valentine’s day.  Maybe it is gone.”

 

   


“I don’t remember all that much company, Kiddo,” Brian replied.  “Johnny was here a couple of times, and Ethan.  Aha, that may be why Ethan’s having a weight problem?”

 

   


“Maybe,” Justin conceded.

 

   


“Which leaves just one question left, Baby,” Brian laughed.  “Why aren’t you having a weight problem? You are a kind of chocoholic too, and I have a nagging suspicion that you know exactly where my Valentine candy went.”

 

   


“Isn’t love supposed to be based on trust, Brian?” Justin wanted to know.  “You aren’t acting like you trust me.”

 

   


“Well I do love you,” Brian laughed at him, “And I trust you to eat any chocolate that’s lying around, at least if it isn’t playing a violin.  So when you’re ordering tomorrow order me anything you’d like to finish up for me, and get the large size too.  I’m worth it.”

 

   


“You are worth it,” Justin enthused.  “I sometimes can’t believe how smart I was to find you.  I think the extra-large chocolate nougat egg would be the best thing for you, if you don’t mind if maybe I put on a little weight myself.”

 

   


“You won’t,” Brian assured him.  “Though I’d love you just as much if you did.  But you could have at least saved me one last piece from my Valentine’s Day candy.  I feel like chocolate right now.”

 

   


“Well,” Justin told him.  “It just so happens that I have part of a chocolate nougat egg available.  I bought a small one yesterday just to make sure it was something you’d like.  Wanna split what’s left?”

 

 

“Can’t, Baby,” Brian laughed as he threw both arms around the kid.  “Actually, I found that egg remnant before you got home and it’s gone.  Hope you’re not mad.  You know sometimes I can’t control myself.”

 

   


“Like now?” Justin whispered.

 

   


“Like now,” Brian affirmed.

 

   


It was quite a while before Justin actually completed the evening’s discussion.

 

   


“You know what, Bri?” he told the guy he loved more than anything else in the world.  “If you want to eat Gus’ rabbit, eat it.  You can eat the damn violin too if you want to.”


	172. Chapter 172 - Here's Looking At You, Kid

  
Author's notes: Brian and Justin discuss smiles  


* * *

The guys had been busy for the previous few days and they had not been able to sprawl together in front of their fake fireplace, so Justin was very pleased for the opportunity to do just that one particular evening.  Brian was glad too, but Brian was also wondering about something.

 

   


“Would you rather go out than sit here, Baby?” he asked the kid.

 

   


“No way,” came Justin’s reply.  “We’ve been out the last couple of evenings and I missed this.  If you want to go out, I’ll be glad to go with you but I’d rather stay here – as long as you’re here too.  Do you want to go out?”

 

   


“I guess I’d like to sit here forever,” Brian responded, “As long as you’re here with me, but I’m old and you’re young.  I don’t know if I would have wanted to sit around in this loft in the evenings when I was your age.”

 

   


“Brian,” Justin confided.  “I’m going to tell you something, but if you ever tell anybody I said it, even me, I’m going to deny it.  You are not old.  You are as young as you ever were.  When you were my age, you didn’t have me, so why would you want to sit at home?  Now you’ve got me, so why would you want to go out?”

 

   


Brian smiled.  “You know, Honey,” he told the kid, “There’s a lot of truth in what you just said.”

 

 

 

“You think so?” Justin laughed.

 

   


“Yeah,” Brian said.  “I am as young as I ever was.  Sometimes I forget that.  Thanks for reminding me.”

 

   


“And what about the rest of what I just said?” Justin wanted to know.

 

   


“I’ll need some time to think about that,” Brian responded with a smile.

 

   


“Wrong answer,” Justin told the big guy, but he put his head down on Brian’s shoulder, which sent an entirely different message.

 

   


After a little while, Brian reopened the discussion.  “So you are really satisfied to waste your evenings just sitting here with me?” Brian asked.

 

   


“OK, Bri,” Justin came back.  “Sometimes you are a little bit weird, but not too often.  Well you’re being weird now and I want to know what’s the problem.  What’s this about me wasting my evening?”

 

   


“It’s just that I don’t want you to get tired of sitting around here with me,” Brian said.  “I want you to be really happy.  I don’t want you to be missing stuff.”

 

   


“Damn it, Brian,” Justin complained.  “I have never been happier in my life.  I love you.  I love sitting here with you.  There is nothing I would rather do than be with you.  You know that.  What the hell is going on in that mind of yours?  I could be getting scared if I wasn’t pretty sure you loved me back.”

 

   


“Forget it, Kiddo,” Brian decided.  “I am acting weird.  Just forget it.”

 

   


“Brian, Honey,” Justin smiled at him.  “Do I ever forget anything?  I think the best thing for you to do would be to tell me what’s going on?  I really think that would be easier for both of us.”

 

   


“OK, you win,” Brian told him.  “When we were in the drug store today.  I saw you smiling at that twink behind the counter.  You don’t smile at me that way.”

 

   


“Brian, that’s crazy,” Justin objected.  “I always smile at you.  I love you.  You’re acting crazy right now and I’m still smiling at you.”

 

   


“Not the way you smiled at that kid in the drug store,” Brian insisted.  “I think you used to smile at me that way but not lately.”

 

   


“You mean I have different kinds of smiles?” Justin wanted to know.

 

   


“Yeah,” Brian confirmed.  “You have a lot of different kinds of smiles, and I think I know them all.”

 

   


“And just how do you know so much about my different kinds of smiles?” Justin quizzed.

 

   


“How do you think I know?” Brian came back.  “I watch you.  I like to watch you so I know all your different kinds of smiles.  I was watching you at the drug store today but you were watching that kid behind the counter.”

 

   


“Maybe so that I’d know when he was handing me the Tylenol and my change,” Justin posited, “Because that kid wasn’t looking at me or the Tylenol or the change.  He was looking at you.  Didn’t you see that look on his face?”

 

   


“Nope,” Brian admitted.  “I was looking at you, and you weren’t looking at me.”

 

   


“This is crazy, Bri,” Justin concluded.  “You were looking at me and I was looking at that kid and he was looking only at you.  That’s why I was smiling.  That kid fell for you the minute he saw you.  I could see it in his eyes.”

 

   


“Because you were looking at him,” Brian concluded back at him.  “And giving him a smile you don’t give me any more.”

 

   


“I wanted my Tylenol and my change,” Justin laughed.  “And you should probably be the one who paid for the Tylenol instead of me because I don’t think I’d ever need it except for you.”

 

   


“Well I sometimes need it too,” Brian groused, “And I wonder why that is.”

 

   


“You know, Bri,” Justin said through a big smile.  “I guess I’d rather argue with you about who uses the most Tylenol and why, than I would about me smiling at that kid in the store, but I’m going to tell you something else that I plan to deny if the subject ever comes up again.  I was smiling because I saw myself in that kid.  He was looking at you the way I looked at you when I first met you.  I loved you right away but I couldn’t believe a big handsome guy like you could ever care for me.  I was kind of hoping today that the kid would have the same luck that I had, but not with the same guy.  My guy’s mine.”

 

   


“Flattery will get you nowhere,” Brian warned the twink with a smile of his own.

 

   


“I don’t know why you’d say that,” Justin wondered.  “It has always worked before.”

 

   


“Get that supercilious smile off of your face,” Brian ordered the kid who obediently replaced his supercilious smile with his contented smile as he snuggled up to the big guy, bringing the conversation to a close, temporarily.

 

   


It was Brian who eventually renewed the discussion with a supercilious smile of his own.  “I guess I should play a little harder to get, eh?” he suggested to the twink.  “Then maybe I’d get that smile like you give the big handsome guys you think you can’t get.”

 

   


“That was then, Kinney,” Justin informed him.  “This is now.  I got the big handsome guy I wanted, and since he’s the biggest, handsomest guy in the world, I know now that I could get anybody I wanted, but I only want the guy I’ve got, and that’s all I’ll ever want.  You can be sure of that, Brian.”

 

   


It was a little while before Justin looked at Brian and concluded, “Hey, Bri, I know what that smile on your face means,” he told the big guy, “And I think you’re thinking the same as I am.”

 

   


“I have different kinds of smiles?” Brian asked, showing some surprise.

 

   


“Yeah and I know every one of them, BK,” Justin informed him.  “I’m not stupid.  I learn something new about you every day.”

 

   


“Yeah?” Brian challenged with a trace of doubt in his voice.  “Well what did you learn today, Twink?”

 

 Justin responded with his confident smile on his face.  “I learned that I should go to the drug store myself when I need Tylenol.”


	173. Chapter 173 - Monsters, Inc.

  
Author's notes: Brian and Justin explore their relationship.  


* * *

The fireplace was lit.  The guys were in place.  Nothing had been said for a long time.  Brian wondered if maybe this was the quiet before the storm.  He needn’t have wondered.

 

 

 “Brian,” Justin said.  “You like to pick on me.”

   


“Au contraire,” Brian replied.  “I do not like to pick on you.”

  
  
”Well if you don’t,” Justin argued.  “You sure spend a lot of time doing it.”

   


“The truth is, Baby,” Brian admitted.  “I do like to pick on people, but I do not like to pick on you.  However, if I do pick on you every once in a long while, I would have to say it’s your own fault.”

   


The battle was thus joined.  “What are you saying, Kinney,” Justin demanded, “That I’m like obnoxious or something and deserve to be picked on all the time.”

   


“Au contraire encore,” Brian retorted.  “It is true that I think you try to get me to ‘what you call pick on you’ sometimes in order to soften me up so I’ll do something that you want me to do, something that no sane person would ever do.  But that’s not the main reason.  I don’t have anybody else to pick on now.  I used to be at Woodie’s or Babylon or places like that.  I always had Ted or Emmett or somebody like them to pick on.  Michael and Melanie too.  There were lots of people to pick on.  Then you came along and made me fall in love with you and so now I only have you to pick on, not that I ever do it.  So whatever you’re bitching about, it’s your own fault.”

   


Justin resisted smiling only with great effort.  “Forget the ‘love’ stuff, Kinney,” Justin told him.  “You’re not getting me off the subject this time.  So you’re saying I’ve created a Frankenstein’s monster, are you?”

   


“If that’s what I was saying,” Brian reasoned, “I’d be saying that I was a monster, so that’s not what I’m saying.”

   


“Well then that’s what I’m saying, Brian Kinney,” Justin replied.  “And the funny thing is that I wouldn’t even know about Frankenstein’s monster if it wasn’t for you and Mikey and your crazy obsession with horror movies.  I don’t think I ever saw a Frankenstein movie till I moved in here.”

   


“But you did watch horror movies,” Brian countered. “I’m sure you told me that you and Daphne used to watch _Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde_ every Halloween.  That’s a horror movie in my book.”

   


“It was actually a scary movie, Bri,” Justin had to admit “But it didn’t scare me all that much because I never believed it could ever happen.  I didn’t believe that there could ever be a real Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde – until I met you, that is.”

   


“And which one of us did you tirelessly pursue, Twink?”  Brian wanted to know, “Brian Jekyll or Brian Hyde?”

   


Justin tried valiantly to refrain from laughing but he failed.  “You know, Bri,” he said.  “I think we’ve had this argument before.”

   


“Maybe we have, Baby,” Brian thought it over.  “I can’t swear to it but the whole thing does sound a little bit familiar.”

   


“Gee whiz,” Justin recoiled.  “I hope we haven’t been together so long that we have to repeat our arguments.”

   


“Never, Sweetheart,” Brian assured him.  “We’ll be together for maybe a hundred years and I don’t think there will ever be a day that we can’t find something new to fight about.”

   


“Doggone it, Brian,” Justin told him.  “I don’t know if you’re Jekyll or Hyde but you can be really romantic when you want to be.”

   


“Even when I’m picking on you?” Brian wanted to know.

   


“No comment,” Justin maintained his position.  But the no comment grew into a sustained period of silence with absolutely no outward evidence of any disagreement between the two of them.  Au contraire, actually.

   


“OK,” Brian eventually reintroduced the discussion.  “Just what the hell was that all about?  Did you just feel like arguing or were you trying to soften me up?  I don’t think you were seriously complaining.”

  
  
”Just because I never seriously complain, I guess?” Justin came back.

   


“Answer the question, Twink,” Brian demanded.  “Brian Hyde is trying to get out so you better answer the question.”

   


“Neither of the above,” Justin insisted.  “Not the way you worded it anyhow.  I was not trying to soften you up.”

   


“So you were trying to soften me up, were you?” Brian grinned.  “Well what is it now that I won’t want to do?”

   


“Never mind,” Justin answered.  “Forget it.”

   


“I would if you would,” Brian was laughing now, “But you won’t, so instead of trying some other tactic, I want you to tell me in simple words what you want.  Right now.  Got it?”

   


“Daphne’s sorority is having a party a week from Friday and I want you to come with me,” Justin confessed.  “There will be a lot of people there, some gay couples too, who don’t know you, and I want to show you off.”

   


“You want to show me off,” Brian echoed.  “You do think of me as Frankenstein’s monster.”

  
  
”Cut it out, Brian,” Justin complained.  “Forget about the party.  But if you had a guy as hot as you, I bet you’d want to show him off too.”

   


“I do,” Brian squeezed the kid a little tighter, “And I do.  So we’ll go to the party, and show off the monsters we’ve created.  The warning may save some of those young innocents.”

   


“Brian,” Justin responded.  “I really love you and all that, but you didn’t give me a chance to tell you that the party is a costume party.”

   


“What the hell,” Brian got giddy.  “Just get us some costumes and we’ll go.  Pick anything you want for me, but if you’re showing me off, maybe you shouldn’t pick a monster outfit.”

   


“Honey,” Justin smiled at him.  “If I wanted you to go as a monster, I don’t think you’d need a costume at all.”

   


“If I were you, Baby,” Brian advised Justin, “I think I’d quit while I was ahead.  Unless that is, you’ve got something else up your sleeve.”

   


“See, Bri,” Justin responded.  “You’re picking on me again.  And I have nothing at all up my sleeve – nothing at all.  And I do love you and I always take your advice so I’ll quit while I’m ahead.”

And he did.  There was another quiet period for the boys to enjoy.  As always, it didn’t last.

   


“I don’t know who I tirelessly pursued, Brian,” Justin said.  “That was a good question.  I think I maybe chased you no matter who you were.  I just fell in love with the whole you.  And you were in love with me too but you didn’t know it.  So you were kind of lucky.  What would you have done if I hadn’t pursued you?”

   


“Well just maybe I would have pursued you, Twink,” Brian grinned at him.  “But I didn’t have to, did I?  And it’s a lot better to be the chasee than the chaser.”

   


“Brian Kinney,” Justin stared at him.  “You are a monster.  A real monster.  And not one I created either.  You were a monster before I met you and you’re a monster now.”

   


“So do you still love me?” Brian asked him.

 

   


“More than ever,” Justin admitted.


	174. Chapter 174 - Speaking of the Devil

  
Author's notes: Brian and Justin discuss the Faust legend.  


* * *

The guys got back to the loft well after midnight.  This was usually too late to light the fake fireplace but Brian felt a discussion coming on and, while he didn’t think the fireplace was magic or anything like that, he decided it might help.  
    


“You want to sit in front of the fireplace?” Justin seemed to be surprised.  “It’s pretty late.”

  
    


“I think you want to do some talking,” Brian explained, “So I thought we might as well have the fire lit.  Wanna sit down?”

  
    


Justin did sit down next to Brian and waited for Brian to encircle him with his arm.  “Aren’t you glad you went?” Justin began the conversation that Brian knew was coming.

  
    


“I’m glad I went now,” Brian told him.  “It may have been torture to sit through, but it’s over now and I won’t have to listen to you complaining about me not going.  So ‘yeah’, I’m glad I went.”

  
    


“Darn it, Kinney,” Justin complained.  “It’s hard to talk to you.  I know you enjoyed yourself, and I did too.  I especially loved the end when the angels saved Marguerite from the devil.”

  
    


“It was about time,” Brian remarked.  “It took them about four hours to save Marguerite from the devil.  Operas are too long and _Faust_ is longer than most of them.”

  
    


“How would you know that if you don’t like opera?” Justin wanted to know.  “You must know something about opera if you know that _Faust_ is longer than most of them.”

  
    


“Oh I’ve seen some,” Brian told him.  Sometimes the guys run around in little skirts and not all of them are fat.  There was one guy that used to come every year to sing here, and he was really hot.  I was always an opera fan when he was in town.  I don’t remember his name now though.”

  
    


“I’m glad to hear that,” Justin smiled, “And I don’t think any of the guys tonight were any competition for me.”

  
    


“No they weren’t,” Brian smiled back, “And I bet you checked them out before you told Ted we’d go with him and Blake.  As curious as you were to see what was going on with those guys, I bet you’d have missed the opera if you thought I was going to have any fun.”

  
    


“You are really mean to say that, Kinney,” Justin objected.  “I know you don’t go around looking at other guys.”

  
    


“Never,” Brian grinned at him.  “But what did you decide about Ted and Blake?  That was the real reason you wanted to go.”

  
    


“Well they both are real opera fans, Bri,” Justin decided, “So they have that in common.”  

  
    


“Just like us,” Brian interjected.

  
    


“Cut it out, Brian,” Justin commanded.  “I don’t think you even want to have this discussion at all but I did think I saw a spark there with Ted and Blake.  I think they’d go well together.”

  
    


“But you’re not going to try to help it along, are you?” Brian wanted to know.

  
    


“I am not a meddler and you know it, Kinney,” Justin groused.  “The fact that I asked them over here to dinner next week is not match-making.  We were Ted’s guests tonight and I was just kind of paying them back.”

  
    


“You are good at paying people back,” Brian admitted.  “Really, really good.”

  
    


“If I didn’t love you so much, Brian Kinney,” Justin conjectured, “I could get pretty mad at you.”

  
    


“Don’t you get pretty mad at me sometimes anyhow?” Brian questioned.

  
    


“Nah, “ Justin admitted.  “But I have to act that way sometimes to keep you guessing.”

  
    


“Actually, you don’t,” Brian told me.  “You don’t need to pretend you’re mad at me to keep me guessing.”

  
  
The conversation ceased for a while at this point and Brian was convinced that Justin was not mad at him.  He was also convinced that the conversation was not over.  Right on both points.

  
    


“Didn’t you think the opera was kind of like us, Bri?” Justin finally broke the silence.

  
    


“Like us?” Brian reacted.

  
    


“Yeah,” Justin explained.  “This old guy fell in love with this beautiful young person – it was a girl in the opera though - and he was willing to sell his soul to the devil to get her.  You don’t see any similarities to us?”

  
    


“Nope,” Brian replied.  “None at all.”

  
    


“You mean to tell me you wouldn’t have sold your soul to the devil to get me when you first looked at me and fell madly in love?” Justin seemed surprised.

  
    


“You know, Baby, “ Brian came back.  “I’m not saying I didn’t fall madly in love with you the first time I saw you, but if I did, you were the only one who knew.  And anyway, I wouldn’t have had to sell my soul to the devil to get you.  You pursued me pretty hard if I remember correctly.  I don’t think I needed the devil’s help to get you. I think I could have handled the situation myself.  I like to handle stuff myself.  There was a time when I might have sold my soul to the devil to get rid of you though, if he had made the offer.”

  
    


“You are not very romantic, Brian,” Justin complained.  “Sometimes I don’t understand what I see in you.”

  
    


“And sometimes you do?” Brian wanted to know.

  
    


“Yeah,” Justin told him and another quiet period ensued.  But it still wasn’t over.

  
    


“Brian,” Justin continued after the pause, “If I got into some awful trouble and you had to sell your soul to the devil to save me, would you do it?” Justin wondered.

  
    


“I really think I would,” Brian responded.  “It would actually have to happen to be sure but I think I would.  I can’t imagine you ever getting into any awful trouble though, and then the devil would have to make me an offer.  I’m pretty sure though that I would.  Yeah, I’m sure I’d sell my soul to the devil to save you from your awful trouble.”

  
    


“Now that is really romantic, Honey,” Justin cooed.  “And I bet that after you saved me from the awful trouble, the angels would come and save you from the devil like they saved Marguerite.  That’s what true love is about.  And we are truly in love, aren’t we, Bri?”

  
    


“Yeah we are,” Brian said.  “Sometimes I’m surprised at how much.”

  
    


“Me too,” Justin agreed.  “You know what, Bri?” Justin went on.  “Next month’s opera is _Aida_.”

  
    


“Twink,” Brian replied.  “Maybe I can see you getting in some really awful trouble that you might need the angels to get you out of.  I don’t think the devil could manage it.”

  
    


“You know what, Bri?” Justin smirked.  “Let’s not call in either the devil or the angels on this one yet.  I think maybe I can get out of this trouble all by myself.  I like to handle situations myself and this time I think I can.”

  
  
”Maybe you can at that,” Brian smiled at him.


	175. Chapter 175 - Numero Uno

  
Author's notes: Brian and Justin return to the past.  


* * *

Usually, when the guys lit the fake fireplace, it was early evening.  So it was therefore much out of the ordinary when Brian and Justin entered the loft at 2 AM and Justin proceeded to turn it on.  Brian seemed to agree to that action because he sat down on the floor in his accustomed position and waited for Justin to join him.  They had just returned to the loft from a night out – an unusual night out in a place that had become unusual for them. “We are Number One, Bri,” Justin gushed.  “Still the hottest couple at Babylon.”

 

   


“Numero Uno,” Brian agreed.  “But we might have been the only couple there.  It seemed to me that everyone there was looking for a one-night stand.”

 

   


“Nah,” Justin told him.  “There were other couples there, but you were so busy fighting off the predators that you didn’t have time to notice.”

 

   


“And when did you have time to notice, Baby?” Brian wanted to know.  “I had plenty of time to notice that you were getting hit on as much as I was.”

 

   


“Not as much as you, Sweetheart,” Justin corrected him.  “There were a lot of guys there who didn’t know who we were and when they found out you were the legendary Brian Kinney, they all wanted to try their luck with you.  The name Justin Taylor didn’t mean much to the crowd.”

 

   


“Well if it didn’t mean anything to the crowd,” Brian laughed, “You still had plenty of opportunities.  Did you see anybody interesting?”

 

   


“Yeah,” Justin answered.  “I did.  But he was unavailable – already taken.  He never even hit on me at all.  Name of Kinney.  Brian Kinney, I think.”

 

   


Brian squeezed the kid closer to him.  “He’s available now,” he told the kid.  “The name Justin Taylor means something to me.  But you are right, Baby, we were definitely the hottest guys there.”

 

   


“Were you surprised that we were the hottest guys there?” Justin asked.

 

   


“I guess I did wonder sometimes what it would be like,” Brian admitted.  “I’m happier now than I ever was in my Babylon days, but I guess I did wonder a little bit.”

 

 “Are you glad we went?” Justin continued the interrogation.

 

   


“Yeah,” Brian mused.  “I guess so.  I guess it’s good to know you’re still attractive to the crowd.  I don’t think I need to go back though.  Now can I ask you a question and get a straight answer?”

 

   


“What do you mean ‘straight answer’”? Justin complained.  “You always get a straight answer from me and you know it.”

 

   


“My apologies, Baby,” Brian grinned.  “I forget sometimes how sensitive you are.  But I would like to know why you wanted us to go to Babylon in the first place.  I don’t think you ever really liked Babylon.”

 

   


“Wrong, Bri,” Justin informed him.  “I always liked Babylon when you were there and I still do.  I guess I don’t much care for Babylon if you’re not there.”

 

   


“Which is really nice to know, Sweetheart,” Brian kept grinning, “But which does not answer the question of why you wanted to go.  It was your idea to go and I wonder where that came from.  But I guess I’ll never know that.”

 

   


“I just thought it would be a good idea.” Justin responded.

 

   


“Now there’s a straight answer if I ever heard one,” Brian laughed.

 

   


“There’s this girl at school, Bri,” Justin confessed.  “Her name is Donna and she’s an expert on ‘relationships’.  Everybody goes to her for romantic advice.  But not me, Brian.  I didn’t need any advice.  I don’t even know Donna very well, but she’s a pretty good friend of Malcolm’s because she a dramatics major too.  I guess Malcolm told her we were the perfect couple, and I guess a little bit about us too.  Anyway, she was sitting with me and Malcolm in the cafeteria last week.  She asked me how things were between us and I said they were perfect.  You know what she said.  ‘You two need to go back to Babylon.  You’ll see how much better you have things now and you’ll both be happy you went.’  I thought she was crazy, Bri, but I think now maybe she was right.”

 

   


“How did she know, Baby?” Brian wondered.  “She’s never seen us together and she doesn’t even know me.”

 

   


“I don’t know, Bri,” Justin said, “But I think she was right.”

 

   


“Maybe, Honey,” Brian agreed, “But I wish you’d stay away from those fortune-tellers at school.  The Institute should have a major in meddling in other people’s business.  In fact, that might even be a good major for you.”

 

   


“Cut it out,” Justin interrupted.  “I feel silly enough telling you all this without you picking on me about it too.  OK?

 

   


It was OK by Brian and the conversation paused for a while.

 

   


After a bit, Justin returned to the subject of Babylon.  “Do you think Babylon was different from the old days?” he asked Brian.

 

   


“Well, we used to have our own gang there in the old days,” Brian thought aloud.  “Mikey and Emm and Ted, and those guys.  That was fun.  I saw some guys I knew but none of the old gang was there.  So that was different.  And that Brandon guy gave me a couple of dirty looks too.  I thought he might come up and reissue his challenge.”

 

   


“Not a chance, Brian,” Justin reassured him.  “When Brandon saw all those guys flocking around you, he would have known he couldn’t win.  He gave me a couple of dirty looks too.  I don’t know why.  If I hadn’t taken you away from all that, Brandon might have had to deal with competition from you every night.”  Then changing the subject before Brian had a chance to reply, Justin added, “You know what I really thought was funny though.  That blond twink who came up to you and asked for your autograph.  He was cute but I also think he looked kind of dumb.”

 

   


“Cute and dumb, eh, sounds like a great combination to me.  But, you know, I must have this odd attraction for blond twinks,” Brian laughed.  “They’re always coming on to me.”

 

   


“So I guess that reminded you of the old Babylon days too,” Justin groused in jest.  “But that twink tonight was not really asking for an autograph.  That’s not what he wanted at all.”

 

   


“Yeah, but that’s what he got.  I signed his T-shirt,” Brian replied in kind.  “And you know what, there was something else that was just like in the old days?”

 

   


“I’m afraid to ask,” Justin grinned.  “But I guess I do want to know.”

 

   


“I picked out the guy I wanted to take home and brought him back with me to the loft,” Brian told him.  “Just like I always did back then.”

 

   


“Gee whiz, Brian,” Justin marveled.  “That’s really romantic.  I think you say romantic things better than I do.  But I still think I love you more than you love me.”

 

 

   


“Forget about trying to start an argument, J. T.,” Brian ordered.  “That is not at all what I have in mind for us tonight.”

 

   


That brought a big smile to Justin’s face.  “Can I please have your autograph, sir?” he asked the big guy.


	176. Chapter 176 - Lions and Tigers and Bears

  
Author's notes: Justin wants to go to the circus.  


* * *

The guys had been in front of their fake fireplace for an hour or so, cuddling and making small talk.  They seemed blissfully happy and very much in tune – the kind of a scene which was not likely to last.

 

 “You know what’s coming to the Civic Arena next week, Bri?” Justin asked.

 

   


“The circus,” Brian replied.

 

   


“If you knew that, why didn’t you say something about it?” Justin wanted to know.

 

   


“If I told you everything I knew,” Brian laughed, “You wouldn’t have time to talk, and I don’t think you’d be very happy about that either.  Anyhow, every second telephone pole has a circus poster on it and since you can read, I think it was fair to assume you’d find out.”

 

   


“You know,” Justin continued, “I like circuses and I haven’t been to one since I fell in love with you.”

 

   


“Ah,” Brian feigned discovery, “So I came into your life and replaced the circus.  Now I know what it was that you saw in me, a substitute for the circus.  Enter Brian.  Exit the gorillas and snakes.”

 

   


“Gee whiz, Brian,” Justin complained.  “It’s hard to talk to you about anything.  It’s a good thing I love the challenge – and I guess, you too.”

 

   


“Baby,” Brian reminded him, “The very first time the circus came to town after you moved in here, I told you I’d go with you and you turned me down.”

 

   


“Well you made it clear you didn’t like circuses,” Justin defended himself, “And I figured that if you went, you’d be so grumpy that you’d scare the lions and tigers and bears.  Animals can get frightened too, and I’ll bet you’re just the one who could do it.”

 

   


“How come I can’t scare you then?” Brian challenged the kid.

 

   


“Cause I’m used to you,” Justin came back, “And I love you and sometimes I think you love me.”

 

   


“I get it, Sunshine,” Brian concluded.  “You’re going to see if I love you enough to go to the circus with you to protect you from the lions and tigers and bears, or any other animals that might decide to attack you.”

 

   


“That is not at all what I’m leading up to,” Justin insisted.  “I would never try to manipulate you into going to the circus with me since I know you don’t like circuses, and you know it.  I would never do that.”

 

   


“Well then, just what are you leading up to, Honey?” Brian questioned.  “If you’re not trying to get me to go to the circus with you, it must be something even worse.”

 

   


“Nope,” Justin smiled at him, “Unless doing without me for a couple of hours is worse.  Malcolm and Hunter are putting together a group of guys to go to the circus and I thought maybe I’d go along if you didn’t mind.”

 

   


“Why would I mind?” Brian pretended to grouse.  “I can just sit here in front of the fire myself and pretend you’re here.  That would be a lot of fun.”

 

   


“Well of course if I get your permission to go to the circus, Sweetheart, “ Justin informed him, “I will ask you to come with us so you wouldn’t really have to sit by the fireplace by yourself.”

 

   


“You know, Twink,” Brian informed him back, “The last time I went to a circus I went with Mikey.  He was crazy about circuses before he became an adult.  Maybe I’ll invite Mikey over to sit by the fireplace with me.  We can reminisce about circuses past while you’re talking to the animals.  And I don’t think I’d want to join your group at the circus even if you did remember to ask me.  I’d probably raise the average age by about ten years.”

 

   


“I don’t think so, Bri,” Justin smiled archly.  “You wouldn’t even be the oldest guy going.  And you won’t be able to invite Mikey over to share the fireplace either, because he and Ben are going with us.  And by the way, we’re also taking Gus, so he will be the youngest.  Mikey is actually the coordinator of the circus trip.  As soon as we know who all’s going, he is going to get the tickets.  Mikey may be a real adult now but he still likes the circus.”

 

   


“So Brian Kinney is going to get to sit here all alone,” Brian concluded, “While all his friends are at the circus.”

 

   


“Not at all, Bri,” Justin told him.  “If you’re not happy about me going to the circus, I’m going to stay here with you.  I like you better than any lions or tigers or bears I’ve ever met.”

 

   


“So you’re willing to sacrifice going to the circus to keep me company then, “ Brian recapitulated.  “You know I don’t want you to have to do that, so I’ll make the sacrifice and go to the circus with you, and I’ll try not to frighten the lions and tigers and bears.”

 

   


Justin plopped his head down contentedly on Brian’s shoulder and they had a period of congenial silence.

 

   


“It’s great that you’re going to the circus with us, Brian,” Justin broke the spell.  “You’ll have a good time and Gus will be glad you’re there too.  I hope you don’t think I was pressuring you to come with us though, since I know you don’t like circuses.”

 

   


“Nah,” Brian responded.  “I can get through a circus every once in a while, and I just happened to have next Thursday evening free.  Don’t feel guilty.”

 

   


Justin’s face took on a slightly perplexed look.  “I didn’t tell you that we were going next Thursday, Brian Kinney,” he wanted to know, “So how did you happen to know that next Thursday was the night we were going?”

 

   


“Maybe I read your mind?” Brian proposed.

 

   


“And maybe you didn’t?” Justin countered.  “OK, Kinney, I want to know how you knew that we were going next Thursday.”

 

   


“Maybe because that’s the night I have the thirty tickets reserved for, Baby,” Brian suggested.

 

   


“Tell me more, Sweetheart,” Justin demanded.  “Inquiring minds want to know, and this particular inquiring mind is going to find out what’s going on, no matter what it takes.”

 

   


“Geez, Baby,” Brian responded.  “It’s not all that complicated.  Kinnetics doesn’t have the circus account but we did some of the local work for the New York guys that do, and as one of the perks, we got thirty real good seats.  So I talked to Mikey and he got things going.  I thought you’d rather ask me to go than have me ask you, and  I was going to say ‘Yes’ right away,  but then you started off with your complicated plot and I decided to let you get on with it.  I thought you were enjoying it and so was I.  I hope you’re not mad.”

 

   


“How could I be mad at you,” Justin told him through a wide grin.  “It might be fun to get mad at you but I love you too much to ever get mad at you.”

 

 

 

Justin’s head fell onto Brian’s shoulder and Brian responded be holding the twink a little closer.  They were a truly happy pair.

 

   


After a period of contented silence, Justin began to doze off in Brian’s arms. Brian loved that.   “I love you more than lions or tigers or bears, Bri … or baboons or elephants … or eagles or condors … or rats or snakes or skunks …,”  Justin’s voice trailed off.

 

 Justin was asleep.  Brian was happy.  He had never been happier.  He believed everything the kid had just told him.


	177. Chapter 177 - Primal Scream

  
Author's notes: Brian meets Malcolm's sister.  


* * *

It was about ten o’clock when the guys returned to the loft together.  They both looked tired but Justin quickly lit the fireplace and Brian just as quickly got himself into position watching the flickering flames

 

   


“Can we just sit here for a while without saying anything?” Brian asked the kid.

   


“Don’t we always do exactly what you want?” Justin suppressed a smile.  “I won’t say anything till you decide you want to say something.”

  
  
And it was a while before Brian wanted to say anything.  Finally though, with his arms around Justin, he broke the silence.  “One of the worst days of my life,” he began.

   


“Brian, Honey,” Justin replied, “I tried to protect you.  I tried to get you not to go but you wouldn’t listen to me.”

  
  
”You’re not supposed to be protecting me,” Brian gruffed.  “I’m supposed to be the one who does the protecting around here.”

   


“And you do protect me all the time, Bri,” Justin said.  “I know that and I appreciate it a lot but there are just a few times though when maybe I can protect you and this was one of them.”

   


“Well you didn’t tell me…,” Brian went on.

   


“I tried to tell you, Bri,” Justin answered.  “I tried to tell you.  I told you Penelope would get on your nerves and that you shouldn’t go.”

   


“Well Malcolm isn’t so bad and I kind of like Abelard,” Brian reasoned, “So I thought I could al least tolerate their sister.”

   


“Bri, Sweetheart,” Justin told him.  “I know you real well, and I had met Penelope before, so I knew what would happen.  You know she’s probably going to Harvard for graduate school but her mother wanted her to check out Pitt because they have a real expert in Penelope’s field and he happens to be a friend of her mother.  She’s only in Pittsburgh for the weekend.  You had to meet her while she was here but you didn’t have to spend the whole day with us.  I think I had to, but you didn’t.  I warned you that Malcolm didn’t want her to come to Pitt and Abe didn’t want her at Ohio State.  I really tried to get you not to come but you can be pretty insistent sometimes.”

   


“Cut it out, Twink,” Brian insisted.  “You know damn well you can always trick me into doing what you want me to do, so it’s really your fault that I went.  You should have talked me out of it.”

   


Justin had to smile at him.  “OK, Mr. Kinney, sir, I admit I can usually trick you into doing exactly what I want you to do,” Justin told him, “But I think I can only trick you into doing what I want you to do when that’s what you really want to do anyhow.  There are times when my best manipulation doesn’t work and this was one of them.”

   


“You could have mentioned that she had that stupid dog with her,” Brian kept on.

   


“Henrietta the Eighth,” Justin remembered.  “Now that’s really a dog and a half.  She’s some kind of a champion in that crazy breed she is.”

   


“Well if they gave blue ribbons for ear-piercing yips that never let up, that dog would win every blue ribbon in sight,” Brian said through a half smile.  “I thought that hound made the worst sounds I ever heard till Penelope herself began to talk.  Her voice is a lot like the dog’s yipping and she says dumb things too.  At least the dog doesn’t express any opinions.”

   


“Brian,” Justin reminded him.  “Penelope was Phi Beta Kappa at Notre Dame and is a top candidate for a Rhodes scholarship so she can’t be all that dumb,” Justin laughed.  “I’ll admit her voice is just a bit squeaky though, and she does sound a lot like the dog.”

   


“Well she must be dumb,” Brian broadened the smile just a little.  “She didn’t agree with me on anything.  And what smart person would name a dog Henrietta the Eighth?  She can’t have had seven other dogs named Henrietta already.  Penelope’s only twenty, isn’t she?”

   


“Yeah,” Justin replied.  “Actually the dog is named after her sire.  Her father was a big champion in that breed.  He was Henry the Eighth but there was a lot of other name in between ‘Henry’ and ‘the Eighth.’  I do think Henry the Eighth was really the eighth Henry though.   Penny’s old dog was named Lucia di Lammermoor.”

   


“You know, Baby,” Brian stopped him.  “That may be as much as I need to know about the dog – and about Penelope.  You know, I think they’re both ugly too.”

   


Hey, Bri,” Justin disagree in part, “Henrietta is pretty ugly, I agree, but Penelope is actually a good-looking girl.  Abe says that there are a lot of guys at Notre dame chasing her.  She’s real popular there.”

   


“Well I’ll bet you the guys who are chasing her are all straight,” Brian stuck to his guns.  “No gay guy would be dumb enough to chase after her.”

   


“You have a good point there, Brian,” Justin was laughingly forced to agree.  “I bet too that the guys who are chasing her  are all straight.  Us gay guys are way too smart to be chasing Penelope.”

   


“And they better be deaf too,” Brian continued, “Or at least hard of hearing – or else she’ll drive them crazy – even if she is good-looking which I am not admitting at all.”

   


“Brian, Sweetheart,” Justin replied.  “Are you trying to tell me that Penelope somehow rubbed you the wrong way?”

   


“OK,” Brian laughed back at him.  “Take her side if you want to.  I should have known you wouldn’t be on my side.”

   


“That’s not fair, Brian,” Justin complained.  “I think you were right in all the arguments you had with Penny today.  I agreed with you that her voice is a pain in the ear and that she is a pain in the ….”

   


“You’re supposed to agree with me all the time though,” Brian interrupted.  “You’re my boy-friend.”

   


“OK, Bri,” Justin continued laughing.  “I guess I should always agree with you since you’re my boy-friend, just like you always agree with me because I’m your boy-friend.”

   


“Wait a minute, Twink,” Brian groused good-naturedly.  “You’re trying to pull something on me while my ears are still ringing from the twin yips of Henny and Penny.”

   


“Am not,” Justin told him, burrowing his head into Brian’s cheek.  Justin must have been convincing because Brian did not reply and a prolonged period of silence followed. 

   


Justin eventually broke the satisfying silence.  “OK, Bri,” he said.  “Penelope is leaving town about noon tomorrow and I have to have breakfast with them but you don’t have to.  I’ll make some excuse and I’ll send Abe over here to say ‘good-bye’ to you cause I know he’ll want to.  Then, after she’s gone, I’ll come back and try to make it up to you for siding with Penny against you.  How does that sound?”

   


“It sounds like you’re trying to protect me and you know I don’t need protection,” Brian answered with seeming petulance.

   


“I know you don’t need any protection, Bri, and that’s not what I’m trying to do at all,” Justin assured him.  “I’m just trying to ease a delicate situation.  That’s all I’m trying to do.”

   


“OK,” Brian replied.  “Go ahead and protect me if you think you have to, Baby.  And maybe ‘Thanks’ too.”

   


That made Justin feel good.

   


“And I love you, Kid,” Brian continued.  “A lot.  You really do know how to fix things – and maybe even protect me just a little bit too – even if I don’t need it.”

 

   


And that made Justin feel even better.


	178. Chapter 178 - Not Over Till It's Over

Brian was sitting in front of the blazing fake fireplace, vacantly staring trancelike at the flickering flames.  He was alone, which was strange, and it was just after noon, which was even stranger.  The sound of the door to the loft sliding open brought Brian out of his reverie.

 

 “Is she gone?” he called to the kid who hadn’t time yet to take his place on the floor next to Brian.

 

   


“She’s gone,” Justin smilingly confirmed snuggling down next to Brian.  “Penelope and Abe left just a while ago.  You saw Abe before he left, didn’t you?”

 

   


“Yeah,” Brian told him.  “Abe stopped over to say ‘goodbye.’  I like Abelard.  He is a nice kid and he brought some really good news.  I guess you know Penelope decided she didn’t want to come to Pitt, so it’ll be Harvard probably, or Oxford maybe if she wins the Rhodes scholarship.  I’d rather Oxford cause that’s further away.  Boston is far but we might still be able to hear her voice from there, and I’ll bet that dog’s yelps could easily get here from Harvard.”

 

   


“I think you might be exaggerating just a trifle,” Justin laughed., “But I guess not by much.”

 

   


“Not at all,” Brian stuck to his guns.  “I didn’t exaggerate at all, but there’s no point in arguing about that.  She’s gone and that’s that.  Now as I recall, you said something about coming back here after she left and paying me back for getting me involved with that wicked witch and her hound.  OK, you can start making me happy any time.  I’m ready for anything.”

 

   


“Bri,” Justin said tentatively.  “Maybe you aren’t.  I guess there’s some stuff I ought to tell you before I start making you happy, but I promise, I’ll try to make you happy afterwards.”

 

   


“Trying to get out of it, I guess,” Brian chortled.  “Well it won’t be hard to make me happy since Penelope is on her way back to Cincinnati or South Bend, or wherever she’s going.  It won’t take much to make me happy at all.  I’m pretty happy just to be sitting here with you.  That’s a good start.”

 

   


“Yeah,” Justin replied unconvincingly and Brian began to feel some unease at Justin’s lack of enthusiasm for the kind of stuff that Justin was usually enthusiastic about.

 

   


“She is gone?” Brian asked for confirmation.  “You wouldn’t lie to me about something as important as that.  Naw, you wouldn’t because you’d know I’d find out.”

 

   


“Gee whiz, Brian Kinney,” Justin took offense.  “I wouldn’t lie to you ever about anything.  If I wanted to lie about anything, this whole thing might be easier, darn it.”

 

   


“OK, Twink,” Brian went on.  “What have you done now?  Chances are I won’t be mad.  It’s hard for me to be mad since we got rid of Henny and Penny."

 

   


“I didn’t do anything,” Justin defended himself.  “How come every problem has to be about something I’ve done?”

 

   


“Or maybe something you haven’t done,” Brian laughed.  “You can tell me what’s bothering you, Baby.  That’s what I’m here for – to fix up things for you.”

 

   


“It’s Penelope, Bri,” Justin started but was almost immediately interrupted.

 

   


“Are you going to tell me she’s coming back?” Brian broke in.  “I think you’re going to tell me she’s coming back.  If you’re not going to tell me that, talk fast.”

 

   


“Well maybe she’s coming back and maybe she’s not,” Justin continued.  “You know she met Mel and Linz when she first came in and they liked her.  They didn’t even mind her voice all that much.”

 

   


“Well, what about Henrietta the Eighth,” Brian laughed in spite of himself.  “They couldn’t have been able to stand that for long.”

 

   


“Bri,” Justin moved slowly.  “Henrietta didn’t bark much at all when you weren’t around.  She didn’t bark at all at Linz’ and they liked her.  Gus liked her too and so did Cicero the cat.”

 

   


“So you’re saying I’m responsible for that crazy dog yipping and yapping?” Brian surmised.  “You telling me it’s my fault that dog is such a pain?”

 

   


“No I’m not, “ Justin protested.  “It’s just like maybe somebody who looks like you kicked Henrietta or something like that.  It’s not your fault.  Nobody’s saying that you kicked her or anything.”

 

   


“Thanks for your confidence,” Brian grinned.  “But fortunately she’s gone.  I might be tempted to give Henrietta the Eighth a swift kick or two if she was still around.”

 

   


“Brian, Honey,” Justin bit the bullet.  “Henrietta is still here.  She’s staying for a week with Mel and Linz and then Malcolm is going to drive her down to Cincinnati next weekend.”

 

   


“OK, Twink,”  Brian decided, showing less emotion than Justin had anticipated.  “We just stay away from there for the week.  Let them have the damn dog if they want.  Gus will just have to do without his dad till whenever the dog goes.  A week’s not that long.”

 

   


“Bri, Sweetheart,” Justin bit another bullet.  “The reason Henrietta is staying here is to see if she likes it.  If Penny gets the Rhodes, she might not be able to take the dog along.  Henrietta is fussy about where she stays and Mel and Linz might be keeping her for the whole year if Penny is at Oxford.”

 

   


“Some protector you are,” Brian laughingly protested.  “You can’t even protect me from stuff I wouldn’t need protected from if I didn’t have you in residence.”

 

   


“Cut it out, Brian,” Justin complained.  “I did the best I could.  You know I did.  I love you.  I’d do anything for you and you know it.  There are just some things I can’t do.”

 

   


“No there aren’t, Baby,” Brian squeezed the kid a little closer.  “You can do anything.  You always help me through the problems I wouldn’t have if I didn’t have you.  I know that.”

 

   


“And that’s supposed to comfort me, I guess,” Justin mused.  “Well at least you didn’t throw me out of the loft this time.”

  
  
”Now you cut it out, Twink,” Brian smiled at him.  “Maybe I did throw you out of here a time or two but that would have been in the dark ages, before you convinced me that I was in love with you.  You’re here to stay now, no matter how much trouble you cause.  I love you.  Just don’t be watching if I have to give Henrietta the Eighth a friendly kick every once in a while.”

 

   


The discussion petered out at this point and it looked like the guys were up to facing together whatever problems they faced.  After a little while Justin broke the silence.

 

   


“Hey, Bri, I promised to try to make you happy when I got back this afternoon, so maybe I should start working on that.  Whattaya think?”

 

   


Geez, Baby,” Brian answered.  “I thought you had already started on that.  In fact, I was just thinking that you had already made me happy.”

 

   


“Naw,” Justin told him.  “There’s still a lot more to do on that project.”

  
  
”If you say so,” Brian acquiesced.  “You know I’m not one to want to argue with you.  You always win anyway.”

 

   


It was a while before Justin again returned to the discussion.  “You know, Bri.  Sometimes people are in England three years on Rhodes scholarships.”

 

 “So what?” Brian responded.


	179. Chapter 179 - Playing Games

  
Author's notes: Justin suspects that Brian is playing mind games.  


* * *

It seemed just like any other night in the loft.  The guys were seated on the floor facing the flickering flames in their fake fireplace.  What made it just a little bit different from usual was that Brian started the conversation.

 

 “You wanna hear some stuff about the office?” he asked the kid.

 

   


“I always want to hear stuff about the office but you never tell me anything about the office unless there’s something I have to do,” Justin replied, “So I guess there’s something I have to do or you wouldn’t be offering to tell me.  You never talk about work and I really do want to know.  I’ve complained about that a lot, but you never listen.”

 

   


“If I didn’t listen to you complaining, Honey,” Brian retorted, “I’d forget what your voice sounds like.  Well this does affect you, I guess, but you don’t have to do anything.”

 

   


“I wonder about that,” Justin decided, “But go ahead.  I’m interested.”

 

   


“Well you’re going to notice a difference in me starting next week,” Brian told him.  “I’m going to become nice.”

 

   


“I’m not laughing at you,” Justin broke in, “But the whole idea is really mind-boggling.  Are you sure you want to become nice, Bri.?  It’d be a big change in life style.”

 

   


“You’ll see,” Brian insisted.  “I’ve got a new account with these management specialists and they’re pushing this program on executive niceness.  They think I could do a better job with their campaign if I sat in on their two-day workshop.  So I’m bound to be a lot nicer after that experience.”

 

   


“These guys think they can make a nice guy out of Brian Kinney in two days?”  Justin chortled.

 

   


“You’re just jealous because they’re going to do it in two days and you’ve been working on the same project for two years,” Brian gibed.

 

   


“Maybe I would be jealous if I thought they had any chance of succeeding,” Justin allowed.  “I’m sure it will be interesting.  I can’t wait to see how it turns out.”

 

   


“You don’t have much confidence in me, Baby,” Brian seemed to pout.

 

   


“Oh no, Honey,” Justin informed him.  “I have all the confidence in the world in you.  I don’t have much confidence in them.”

 

   


“Well my advertising stuff will convince you,” Brian pointed out.  “When I get the campaign worked out even you will be convinced.”

 

   


“And what if you don’t think you’re nicer after you do the workshop?” Justin asked, “Won’t that make your program harder to develop?”

 

   


“Nah,” Brian told him.  “I’ve sold a lot of crap in my time.”

 

   


“You’re the best in the business, Brian,” Justin assured him.

 

   


Brian wasn’t sure how to take that last comment from the twink so the conversation went into a lull.  Things returned somewhat to normal though because it was Justin who broke the silence

 

“This whole business is some kind of a joke, isn’t it, Kinney?” Justin wondered.  “Your playing games with me, aren’t you?”

 

   


“Why would you ever think a thing like that?” Brian asked back, showing a sly smile on his face.

 

   


“Because you’re Brian Kinney, that’s why,” Justin smiled back at him knowingly, “And you like to play mind games.  You’re Brian Kinney and you’re not nice and you like to play mind games, that’s why.”

 

   


“Well I guess you can’t be sure then, can you?” Brian crowed.  “Maybe you’ll never know.”

 

   


“What did Cynthia have to say about this workshop?” Justin asked innocently, “Presuming she knows about it which she would if it was real because she knows everything that goes on in that office.”

 

   


“She thinks it’s a good idea,” Brian answered.  “She says I act like a tiger around the office, and it would be better if I were nicer.  She also said that you would like the idea.  Now that should be enough to make you a believer.”

 

   


“Well I’m not sure if that makes me a believer or not,” Justin responded, “And it doesn’t tell me for sure if there’s going to be a workshop or not, but it does tell me that you’re putting me on, Bri.  You don’t expect to be any nicer after this workshop than you are now.”

 

   


“And may I ask how you came to that conclusion?” Brian challenged him.

 

   


“Elementary, my dear Brian,” Justin responded.  “Cynthia knows a lot about me and I know a lot about Cynthia.  She would never tell you I would like the idea of you getting nicer.”

 

   


“You wouldn’t?” Brian sounded surprised.

 

   


“Of course I would, I guess,” Justin replied, “But Cynthia always tells me she thinks I like the way you’re a big fierce tiger around every body else and just a great big pussy cat around me.”

 

   


“A great big pussy cat,” Brian exclaimed.  “Well maybe I’ll show you that the great big pussy cat can turn into a tiger when provoked.”

 

   


“Are you provoked then, Sweetheart?” Justin asked him.

 

   


Brian broke out laughing.  “Now it’s you who’s playing the mind games, Baby,” Brian told him.  “It might be a lot easier on you if you’re playing mind games.”

 

   


“Well I guess you can’t be sure then, can you?” Justin crowed.  “Maybe you’ll never know.”

 

   


“Oh I’ll know all right,” Brian assured him.  “I’ll ask Cynthia.”

 

   


Brian mussed up Justin’s hair so they both knew the situation was well in hand.  They could therefore just sit for a while enjoying their togetherness.  Again it was Brian who resumed the conversation.

 

   


“So you don’t think Delphi Management Consortium can make people nicer with a two-day workshop?”  He asked.

 

   


“Oh I don’t know about that,” Justin informed him.  “Maybe they can if the people are properly motivated.  I just don’t think you’re properly motivated.”

 

   


“Do you want me to get nicer?” Brian wanted to know.

 

   


“I don’t know Brian,” Justin replied.  “You know I love you just the way you are.  You couldn’t be any nicer to me.  I think you should make your own decision about the workshop and I’ll complain later if I don’t like the new Brian Kinney.”

 

   


“I can’t believe you would ever complain,” Brian said.  “It’s just not in your nature.”

 

   


“More mind games, Bri?” Justin laughed.  “But I do want to tell you I was playing games when I said you were a big pussy cat.”

 

   


“You were?” Brian seemed surprised.

 

   


Justin mussed up Brian’s hair to return the favor.  “Of course, I was,” he assured Brian.  “You are every bit the tiger around here.”

 

 Brian smiled as he pulled the kid closer to him.  “I don’t think so,” he told Justin.


	180. Chapter 180 - Edgy

Same old scene.  Brian and Justin sitting in front of their fake fireplace with the flickering flames casting weird shadows over the loft.  Justin was resting his head on Brian’s shoulder and Brian had his arm wrapped around Justin.  Same old scene.  

“What did you and Gus do this afternoon?” Brian asked the kid.

 

“Sometime I’m going to do something that you don’t know about, Bri,” Justin replied with a big grin, “But it’s gonna be damn hard.  How did you know Gus and I were together this afternoon?”

 

“Maybe I’m psychic,” Brian proposed, “Or maybe Linz told me.  I forget which.”

 

“I guess it could be either,” Justin opined, “But if you were psychic, wouldn’t you also know what we did?”

 

“Maybe I do know what you did,” Brian opined back, “Maybe I’m just asking you to see what you’ll tell me.”

 

“Well it was nothing bad, Bri,” Justin laughed, “I took Gus over to see Uncle Mikey and Uncle Ben.  Cousin Hunter wasn’t there.”

 

“And did you and Gus have a good time out at the cozy cottage with the white picket fence in Gay Heights with all those hetero-homos?” Brian wanted to know.  “I hope none of their crap rubbed off on Gus – or you either for that matter.”

 

“They’re not all that bad,” Justin declared.  “Mikey and Ben are just like regular people.  I’ll admit those neighbors of theirs are a bit much though.”

 

“And were they there?” Brian asked.  “Just like they usually are, which is the reason I don’t like to go out to visit Uncle Mikey and Uncle Ben.  I’ll bet they were.”

 

“Actually they did stop by.  They dropped off a casserole,” Justin smiled.  “Nobody ever drops off a casserole here.”

 

“We can make our own casseroles,’ Brian stated confidently.  “We don’t need anybody dropping off any casseroles here.  We can make our own.”

 

“Oh we can, can we?” Justin was laughing at this point,  “Well why haven’t ‘we’ ever done that then?  Now I have made lots of casseroles but the first ‘we’ casserole is yet to come, I think.”

 

“We’re a couple, Twink,” Brian groused, “And whatever either of us does, it’s both of us doing it.”

 

“If you weren’t Brian Kinney,” Justin retorted, “That would be romantic.  But, alas, you are Brian Kinney.”

 

“And it’s still romantic,” Brian insisted, squeezing the kid a little closer.

 

“I know,” Justin told him, and the conversation died out for a while at this point.

 

It was Justin who put an end to the quiet period.  “Are we edgy?” he asked Brian.

 

“Edgy?” Brian echoed.  “What kind of a question is that?”

 

“Well one of the visiting neighbors out at Mikey’s called me the less edgy of the edgy twosome,” Justin recalled.  “It made me wonder if we are edgy.  I bet edgy people know they’re edgy and I don’t know that.  So are we edgy?” 

 

“Oh yeah, we’re edgy all right,” Brian told him.  “We sit around here all the time and we spend half our time right here on the floor looking at the fireplace.  What could be edgier than that?”

 

“Aren’t you satisfied with what we do?” Justin asked with what might have been real concern in his voice.

 

“Actually I’m not,” Brian replied.  “I wish we could spend more time here and more time in front of the fireplace.  I kind of like sitting here with you.”

 

“Now that is really romantic, Bri,” Justin admitted.  “That is romantic even coming from Brian Kinney.  Can edgy people be romantic, Bri?”

 

“I guess so,” Brian said.  “Aren’t we the living proof of that?”

 

“I think you’re putting me on, Kinney,” Justin complained just slightly.

 

“Not about the romantic stuff,” Brian assured him.  That seemed to satisfy Justin – temporarily.

 

“You used to be edgy, Brian,” Justin broke the silence long before Brian wanted it to end.  “But I don’t think I was ever edgy.”

 

“Oh Baby, you were the edgiest,” Brian assured him with a tolerant smile.  “Do you think I could have fallen for a guy who wasn’t edgy?”

 

“You are putting me on, Brian,” Justin concluded.  “But you know what, I kind of like it.  You’re saying some neat things even if you don’t mean them.”

 

“And you know damn well that I do mean them,” Brian came back at him.  Justin smiled and Brian continued, “You know we are invited out to Mike’s next Sunday?”

 

“Yeah,” Justin knew, “But you didn’t want to go.  In fact, I think you refused to go.”

 

“Well I think we should go,” Brian changed his mind, “And show those neighbors the edgy couple in action.”

 

“Uh Uh, Brian,” Justin declared.  “I’ve seen you with those neighbors before.  If we go, you have to behave yourself.  Mikey and Ben get embarrassed and we aren’t going out there for that.  I even get a little embarrassed, Bri.  I guess I’m really not that edgy after all.”

 

“You’re edgy enough for me, Baby,” Brian told him.

 

“Gee whiz, Bri,” Justin figured.  “I’m not sure where this conversation is going, but I like it.  I guess getting there may be all the fun.”

 

Brian didn’t respond verbally but the guys knew they had come to an understanding.

 

“Hey, Brian,” Justin suggested eventually, “Let’s go out tomorrow night and do something really edgy.  Whattaya say?  You pick something and we’ll do it.”

 

“Nah,” Brian responded.  “You pick what we do.  You probably need more practice in being edgy than I do so you pick what we do.”

 

Justin thought a while before making the momentous decision.  “OK, Brian,” he declared.  “Let’s go out to dinner tomorrow night at Woodie’s.  And maybe even have wine with our meal?  How’s that for edgy?”

 

“Geez, Baby,” Brian sounded surprised.  “That sounds really edgy.  You’re a lot more edgy than you thought.  I guess those neighbors from Gay Heights were right after all.  After our edgy dinner at Woodie’s though, can we come back here and sit in front of our fireplace?”

 

“And talk about how edgy we are?” Justin added.

 

“Sounds good to me,” Brian agreed.

 

“You know, Bri,” Justin concluded,  “I know you’re putting me on.”  
  
”And you’re not mad?” Brian wanted to know.

 

“I love it,” Justin told him.


	181. Chapter 181 - Eine Kleine Nachtsnusik

****The guys settled themselves down in front of the blazing fake fireplace as eagerly as always.  Brian encircled the kid with his arm and waited.  There was just one thing different on this particular evening.  Justin had the music system playing some classical music.  Justin had an agenda.  Brian knew Justin had an agenda but he didn’t know what it was.  Brian was prepared to enjoy the evening.  So he waited - but not for long.

 “That’s Mozart on the stereo, Bri,” Justin opened the conversation.  “His last symphony, number 41.”

  “Yeah,” Brian came back, “The Jupiter, in C Major, I think.  KV 551, as I recall.”  

“OK, Kinney,” Justin wanted to know, “What’s going on here?  You like classical music and all but you don’t know all that much crap about it.”

“I do when somebody leaves the record sleeve on top of the system and puts on music like he doesn’t usually do,” Brian smiled at him. “The alert Kinney mind leaps to conclusions and sucks in any available information that he may need later.  So, as you very aptly put it ‘What’s going on here?’  You are trying to get me in the mood for what?” 

“I was just trying to prepare a suitable atmosphere to tell you something,” Justin groused.  “You always act like I’m trying to set you up or something.”

 

“Yeah, I guess I do,” Brian admitted.  “Sorry about that.  Now are you ready to tell me what you’re trying to set me up for?”

 

“It would serve you right if I wouldn’t even tell you,” Justin complained.

 

“But it wouldn’t serve your purpose not to tell me,” Brian laughed, “So you will be telling me, and my guess is that it will be pretty soon.”

 

“You are a tough guy, Bri,” Justin had to laugh back, “But I kind of like that.  I always like a challenge.”  
  
”Me too,” Brian allowed, “So what is it that I have to do that you think I won’t want to do but I probably won’t mind doing at all because I’m not as tough as you think I am.”

 

“This is really important, Bri,” Justin told him.  “This year is Mozart’s 250th birthday, and the Institute is celebrating it.”

 

“Geez,” Brian reacted.  “You’d think he’d be dead by now.  He’s even older than me.”

 

“Cut it out, Brian,” Justin smiled.  “There are a lot of people older than you who are still alive.  Anyhow, Mozart died a long time ago, at just about the age you are now actually, but his music is still real popular.  You know that.”

 

“So this mysterious thing has something to do with Mozart, I guess,” Brian concluded.  “Do you want to go into detail yet or will we do some more beating around the bush?”

 

“Malcolm is getting his biggest break yet, Bri,” Justin began.  “The Institute is going to stage _Amadeus_ and they asked Malcolm to direct it.   That’s some old play about Mozart.  We watched the movie version at school.  You ought to see it.  It’s going to be a big production.  The drama critic from the Post-Gazette is interested too and we might get a review.  That would be neat.”

 

“Now you are scaring me,” Brian broke in.  “This was fun before but now I’m getting scared.   What do you want me to do in all this?”

 

“Not much, Honey.  Calm down,” Justin laughed.  “You might want to give us some publicity tips.  And of course, I hope you’ll want to go to see it.  They don’t want you to be in it or anything.”

 

“They don’t love me anymore?” Brian sounded relieved.

 

“It’s not that at all, Sweetheart,” Justin cajoled.  “They love you as much as ever.  They are going to pick the whole cast from Institute students though, except for Hunter and a couple of his school friends who are doing some walk-on parts.”

 

“Well, I’m relieved to be passed over,” Brian responded, “But I bet it would have been fun to see Mikey as Salieri.  Mikey would have been a great Salieri.  That’s a tough role though.  I’m surprised you’re not importing some hot-shot from New York to do that role.”

 

“We don’t want any high-falutin’ New York types in our show, Bri,”  Justin informed him.  “Those guys always overact.  They are all so full of themselves.  We’ll do just fine right here.”

 

“I wonder why Malcolm doesn’t want you to play Mozart though,” Brian got back into the spirit of the evening.  “After all, you are a precocious artistic genius with a somewhat grating personality.  Sounds like a perfect fit.  Malcolm may be missing a good bet.”

 

“Thanks for the kind compliment, Brian,” Justin replied with a faint smile.  “Actually we talked about it.  We thought about me as Mozart and we thought about Malcolm as Mozart and we decided against it.  Either of us would have been great in the part but some kid named Joe is going to do it.  Malcolm will be too busy directing, and the rehearsals would take me away from you for too long, and I’m sure you wouldn’t want that.”

 

“Well if you really want to do the role,” Brian conjectured.  “Maybe you could send Joe over here to take your place here by the fireplace.”

 

“OK, Kinney,” the kid told him.  “You are beginning to try my patience.  First you insinuate that I might have a grating personality and then you suggest that somebody else could take my place with you in front of the fireplace.  And how come you know so much about _Amadeus_ anyhow?  Are you that old that you might have actually seen it?”

 

“Yeah,” Brian responded.  “Actually I have seen it.  The play is a little different from the movie though but I guess you know that.  But I’ll be glad to go to see it with you at the Institute.  Did you think I wouldn’t want to go?  And why all this hoopla about telling me?”

 

“I don’t know, Bri,” Justin confessed.  “I guess I just thought the atmosphere would be nice.  You know, maybe you wouldn’t have agreed to go with me to _Amadeus_ if I didn’t have that music on.  You know me.  I like to work things out pretty well.  And you do like the music, don’t you?”

 

“Yeah, I do,” Brian had to admit.  “The Jupiter is a favorite of mine.  But, you know, Baby, I don’t need anything else when I have you.  You are all I really need.”

 

Justin cuddled up to the big guy.  “And you know I love you too,” he told Brian, which brought the discussion to a temporary halt for one of their happy silent periods.

 

After a while though, Justin returned to the discussion.  “I bet Joe couldn’t ever substitute for me at all,” Justin said.  “Like you were saying before.”

 

“No I guess he couldn’t,” Brian quickly admitted.  “You’re one in a million, Baby.  Joe couldn’t ever substitute for you.”

 

“I’m glad you didn’t hesitate on that, Bri,” Justin cooed.  “You didn’t even need any time to think about it, did you?”

 

“No, I guess I didn’t,” Brian told him squeezing the kid closer, and initiating another quiet period.

 

It was Justin again who resumed the discussion a little while later.  “And you don’t really think I have a grating personality either, do you, Brian?” he asked.

 

“Can I have some time to think about that?” Brian smiled at him.


	182. Chapter 182 - Taking a Chance on Love

  
Author's notes: The previous chapter cited in this chapter  is #170 - Mismatched.  


* * *

“You busy tomorrow afternoon?”  Brian asked Justin shortly after the guys had seated themselves on the floor in front of their fake fireplace. 

“It would have to be something really important to make me busy if you have something in mind,” Justin responded with a degree of eagerness.  “But it just happens that I am not otherwise engaged in the afternoon tomorrow, so I can put myself completely at your service.”

 

“Sounds good to me,” Brian laughed, “But it’s not my service that I have in mind, intriguing as that might be, and you’re free to decline if you choose after I tell you what’s up.  A farewell party at the office for Rodney, the so-called intern.”

 

“You’re letting Rodney slip away,” Justin laughed back.  “With your luck, he’ll end up with the competition and you’ll lose a lot of business.”

 

“Well with our luck, and good luck it is, he is going to end up with the competition,” Brian chortled.  “They’re hiring him.”

 

“Brian,” Justin cautioned.  “You always said Rodney was the very worst intern you have ever had down there.  You can’t have written him a recommendation.”

 

“Yep, I did,” Brian confessed.  “I just wrote that he always went far beyond what we asked him to do.  I didn’t say that he was always wrong when he did that.  Mann and Steele is just hiring him because they think they can learn stuff about how we operate.  Well, they’ll learn all right – but nothing about how we operate.  I’m sure good old dependable Rodney will cause them no end of trouble before he’s finished.”

 

“If you’re so glad to get rid of poor old Rod,” Justin smiled, “Why a big party?”

 

“Just because we are so happy to be getting rid of him,” Brian told him.  “We even invited Mann and Steele to attend.  We’ll officially turn Rodney over to them at the end of the party.”

 

“I think maybe you just hate Rodney because he put those True Love by Computer questionnaires into the computer and you didn’t turn out so good,” Justin posited.

 

“Oh no,” Brian stopped him.  “It wasn’t that I didn’t turn out so good – not at all.  And it wasn’t me who was mad either.  It was you who were mad when we found out we were rated ‘incompatible.’  I always knew we were incompatible.  I was mad because he did that without authorization, but I wasn’t mad about the results.  It was you that True Love By Computer thought was a perfect match for Rodney.  And I think Rodney thought so too.”

 

“Well how come you want me to come to this farewell shindig for Rodney, Bri?” Justin wondered.  “I hope there is no ulterior motive involved.”

 

“How could you even suspect an ulterior motive from Brian Kinney, your incompatible lover, Baby?” Brian recoiled.  “It’s not me who wants you there.  It’s Rodney who wants you there.  He said it would make everything perfect if you were there.  I told you lots of times that he had eyes for you.  If you ever decide to dump me, Baby, Rodney will be waiting for you with open arms.”

 

“Gee whiz, Brian,” Justin responded.  “You don’t need to threaten me.  I am very satisfied with you even if we are technically incompatible.  I think I’ll stay with you in spite of the great opportunity Rodney might present.  You’re not all that bad, you know.”

 

“Thank you for that vote of confidence,” Brian replied mockingly.  

 

“You’re not afraid of exposing me to Rodney’s charms then,” Justin mocked back.  “You must be pretty sure of yourself with me.”

 

“Maybe I’m just taking a chance on love, Sweetheart, “ Brian told him.  “If I can’t hold you when other guys are trying to take you away, maybe I never had you in the first place.  I read that in Dear Abby or someplace.”

 

“You read Dear Abby?” Justin marveled.  “No wonder you always do the right thing.  No wonder you’ve got me crazy in love with you.  And here I thought it was all because of how romantic you are.”

 

“Nope,” Brian admitted.  “Handling you requires all the help I can get.”

 

“I am laughing because that’s funny, Brian Kinney,” Justin responded.  “And I have no intention at all of telling you why that’s funny either – and I bet you haven’t got a clue.”

 

“I thought there weren’t any secrets between us,” Brian groused.  “Don’t you expect me to tell you everything?”

 

“Maybe not,” Justin grinned.  “Much as we love each other, maybe there might be some things that are better not shared.  Not many, but maybe a few.”

 

“That’s very interesting,” Brian mused.  “Well are you coming to Rodney’s coming-out party or not?” Brian returned to the original subject.  “It’s up to you.  I told Rodney I’d ask you and I asked you.  I can stand the competition.  Brian Kinney is nothing if not confidant that he can hold onto his guy.”

 

“With Rodney as the competition,” Justin laughed.  “Yeah, I’ll go.  And maybe I’ll just do a little flirting with Rodney to see how Brian Kinney reacts.  That might be fun.”

 

“Taking a chance on love, eh?” Brian laughed back.

 

“I guess you could say that,” Justin agreed and the conversation died out, at least for a while.  But not forever.

 

“Hey, Brian,” Justin reopened the discussion.  “I think I was wrong before when I said there might be some secrets we should keep from each other.  I was wrong.  I don’t have any secrets from you and I hope you don’t have any secrets from me.  You don’t, do you?”

 

“Well,” Brian hesitated.  “There might be just one thing that I maybe ought to tell you that I haven’t told you yet.  It’s not a big thing and I meant to tell you a while ago but the opportunity never presented itself – or I guess the right time never presented itself.”

 

“Not you and Rodney?” Justin laughingly proposed.

 

“It’s about Rodney all right,” Brian admitted, “But it’s about us too.  Remember when Rodney submitted our True Love by Computer questionnaires and we came out incompatible.  Well, like Rodney was used to doing, he did it wrong.  Cynthia ran them and we came out a great match.”

 

“And how long have you known this?” Justin inquired, holding back his amusement.

 

“Since the day after you got the wrong response from Rodney,” Brian confessed.  “It was just too much fun for me to let you know the truth.  I’m sorry, I guess.”

 

“Well weren’t you taking a chance on love?” Justin asked him.  “What if I would have taken that message seriously, left you, and taken up with Rodney?  I was a good match with Rodney too.  You might have been taking a big chance, Kinney.’

 

“Probably,” Brian agreed.

 

“Probably,” Justin was aghast.  “Probably.  You risked me ending up with Rodney.  I hate you, Brian Kinney.”

 

“I like it better when you love me,” Brian whispered.

 

“Of course you ought to know I still love you even when I hate you, Brian,” Justin reasoned patiently.  “Sometimes you just don’t get it.  Maybe we are really incompatible.  I’ll have to take a better look at Rod tomorrow.  Rodney and me were a good match too, remember.”

 

“Actually not,” Brian told him.  “I told you Cynthia ran your questionnaire with Rodney’s, but actually she had Rodney do the running.  He did it wrong again.  You’re not a good match for Rodney.  I should have told you before this.  I hope you’re not disappointed.  It’s not very likely that you and Rod would work out at all.”

 

”And that’s why you’re letting me come to Rodney’s party,” Justin laughed.  “You’re not taking a chance on love at all.”

 

“I hope not,” Brian told him.  He wasn’t, and they both knew that he wasn’t.  


	183. Chapter 183 - How Surprised Were You?

It had been a long Fourth of July celebration at Point State Park.  The weather had been good and the whole gang had assembled as usual.  Justin had expected Brian to comment on one particular part of the program but he had not.  Justin was not about to bring up the subject himself.  Even though it was almost midnight when the guys found themselves entering the loft, Justin decided to light the fireplace.  He plopped himself down in front of the flickering flames and waited for Brian.  It was not long till he had company.  Nothing was said for a while but Justin became a little concerned when Brian’s arm did not end up pulling him closer.

 

“Another good Fourth of July,” Justin eventually ventured.

 

“Yep,” Brian agreed without elaboration.

 

“What did you think?” Justin continued.

 

“Well,” Brian opined.  “I think Malcolm needs to change that skit he does for the kids.  He’s done pretty much the same thing for three years now.  The kids are bound to remember.”

 

“Seems to me the kids all liked it pretty well,” Justin responded.  “Kids like to see the same things over and over as long as they like them.  I guess you might be right though.  Maybe I’ll suggest to Malcolm that he make some changes.  Maybe he can write roles into the program for us.  Why should Mikey get all the glory even though he’s a great Yankee Doodle?”

 

“Are you trying to make me mad?” Brian wondered with a smile.  “I don’t know why you’d want to do that.”

 

“I wouldn’t,” Justin declared.  “I wouldn’t ever.  I was just trying to be funny, Bri.  I don’t want you to be mad.”

 

“I think the fireworks tonight were the best of all the years we’ve been going to the park together,” Brian recalled, “And the symphony sounded real good too.  They just play the same stuff every year though so maybe Malcolm doesn’t need to do any tweeking of his program.  People sometimes don’t like surprises.”

 

“Cut it out, Brian,” Justin pleaded.  “You know very well what I want you to talk about, so talk.  If you’re mad, just say so.  Maybe we should have told you.  I just didn’t know what to do.”

 

“Why would you think you had to tell Brian anything?” Brian laughed.  “Who cares if Brian knows as long as everybody else knows?  Just let Brian be surprised.”

 

“It was Gus’ idea,” Justin explained.  “He was a little nervous about the whole thing.  We told him he didn’t have to do it if he didn’t want to.  I think he was afraid he’d back out at the last minute and he didn’t want to disappoint you.  He wanted it to be a surprise for you.  You’re the most important person in his life.”

 

“Let me get this straight,” Brian mused.  “My kid gets a chance to play a violin duet on the Point Park stage with our own symphony fiddler, Ethan the great, and he was allowed to make his own decision about whether to do it.”

 

“Yeah,” Justin seemed surprised.  “Why not?  We wouldn’t want him to do it if he didn’t want to.  Would you?  What’s so strange about that?”

 

“Well, if it was me who got the offer to play some duet with Ethan,” Brian conjectured, “You’d just order me to do it and that would be that.  There wouldn’t be any stuff about me making my own decision.  Nobody would care if I wanted to do it or not.”

 

“Get off that stuff, Kinney,” Justin gritted his teeth slightly.  “I have never ordered you to do anything in my whole life.  I don’t even ever try to influence you to do anything you might not want to do.  You know what though.  If I thought I could get away with it, maybe I would order you to do some things, for your own good of course.”

 

“I’m sure everything you do is for my own good,” Brian laughed.  “I can’t imagine you trying to get me to do something for your own good.”

 

“OK,” Justin decided.  “I am not going to get mad at you no matter hard you try.  I was afraid that you might be just a little bit mad because we didn’t tell you, but I can see now that you’re not the least bit angry so, if you don’t want to talk about it, we just won’t talk about it.”

 

“OK,” Brian answered, and a short period of silence ensued.  Justin felt Brian’s arm tightening around him, which made him feel better.

 

“Brian,” Justin soon broke the silence, “Gus was real nervous and he was afraid he’d disappoint you.  That’s why we didn’t tell you.  He’s really good on the violin but he’s still just a kid and he was scared.  We didn’t want him to worry if he wanted to back out at the last minute.  So we really didn’t tell anybody.  Nobody knew but Mel, Linz and me.  Even Mikey didn’t know.”

 

“Geez,” Brian echoed.  “Even Mikey didn’t know.  Why would I be mad about not knowing if even Mikey didn’t know?”

 

“OK, Kinney,” Justin surrendered.  “You win.  I don’t know what that means but you win anyway.  I’m sorry you weren’t told.  It won’t happen again.  But weren’t you even a little bit pleasantly surprised?  And proud of your son?”

 

“Of course I was surprised,” Brian responded.  “Why wouldn’t I be surprised since nobody told me what was up?  And of course I was proud of Gus.  Maybe not quite as proud of him as you were.  But didn’t I tell him how well he did?  He knew I liked it and how impressed I was.”

 

“Yeah,” Justin admitted, “I guess I’m feeling just a little bit guilty.  I wish we had told you.  But Gus….”

 

“Hey, Baby,” Brian ran his hand through the kid’s hair.  “You know how mean I am.  You have to expect me to give you a hard time when I get the chance.  The truth is that I’m really proud of you too.  I think you handled the situation perfectly.  I don’t want you to feel guilty.  And I do want you to use your judgment in those kinds of situations.  You did good, Sunshine.  You always do.  Just don’t expect me to admit it very often.  OK?”

 

Justin didn’t answer immediately so Brian went on.  “You’re not mad at me for trying to have a little fun at your expense, are you?” he asked the twink.  “You know how I am.  You shouldn’t be surprised.”

 

“Oh I’m not surprised that you pick on me all the time,” Justin grinned as he nestled himself a little closer to Brian.  “But you know what I’m always surprised about?  I think I know what a great guy you are and how much I love you, and then I find out you’re even greater than I thought you were and that I’m more in love with you than I ever thought I could be.”

 

“So maybe you don’t know me as well as you think you do, eh?” Brian cajoled.  “I know how mysterious I can be but I’m surprised you’d admit it.”

 

“Well I do know you’re still picking on me, Mr. Kinney,” Justin countered.  “I know that’s your favorite thing to do.  You know what?  I’m not going to fight back at all tonight.  I’m so happy and I love you so much I’m just going to let you win if that’s what you want.  What do you say to that?”

 

Brian squeezed the kid even tighter.  “Now I really am surprised,” he told Justin.


	184. Chapter 184 - Ah Sweet Mystery

It had been old movie night in the loft.  Brian was always surprised about how much Justin loved the old movies they watched – even if Brian had picked the title specifically as a challenge for Justin’s interest.  So it had been that evening.  Brian had chosen _Naughty Marietta_ whilein a sardonic state of mind.  He figured that it would be a kind of a joke on the kid.  As the guys sat themselves down on the floor in front of their fake flames, Brian had a nagging suspicion that the joke had been on him.  Justin looked completely bemused. 

“That was a great movie, Brian,” Justin gushed.  “It’s amazing how you seem to know just the pictures that I’ll love.  I guess you really know me pretty well.’  
  
”Oh yeah,” Brian agreed, “Not that you don’t come up with a surprise or two every once in a while, Baby, – but yeah, I always pick our old movies with your pleasure in mind.”

 

“And I really love you for it,” Justin went on, making Brian feel some but not a lot of guilt.  “And I know you do it because you love me so much.”

 

Brian decided not to respond, hoping to induce a period of silence to be followed by a change of subject.  No such luck.

 

“I think I love you more than Nelson Eddy loved Jeanette MacDonald, Bri,” Justin went on.  “Do you love me more than Nelson Eddy loved Jeanette MacDonald?”

 

“You do know that Nelson Eddy and Jeanette MacDonald were not really in love.  They were married to different people,” Brian cautioned the kid.  “But I know what you mean and I certainly do love you more than Nelson Eddy loved Jeanette MacDonald in the movie.  You are way more lovable, and you’d never get yourself in all that trouble like Jeanette did.”

 

“I know the difference between actors and the roles they play, Bri,” Justin protested.  “I’m not one of those crazy fans who gets the actors mixed up with the roles they play.  That’s pathetic.  But I’m glad that you love me more than Nelson Eddy loved Jeanette MacDonald in the movie.  And if you’re possibly insinuating that I sometimes get myself into trouble, I forgive you because I love you so much.  So there.”

 

Brian could have responded to that but he didn’t.  The silence that followed was what Brian had hoped for.  He was trying to figure out a way to change the subject but he wasn’t fast enough.

 

“Would you risk your life to save me if I ever got into some kind of a fix like Jeanette MacDonald did, Brian?”  Justin asked, resuming just where they had left off.  “I bet you would.”

 

“Of course I would,” Brian assured him with a smile, “But I won’t ever have to because you’re way too smart to get yourself into any kind of fix like that.  Men are smarter than women about keeping themselves out of trouble.”

 

“I guess you’re right,” Justin seemed to agree.  “You’re better than I am at that though.  You’re way too smart to ever get yourself into any kind of a fix.”

 

“Nobody’s that smart, Twink,” Brian responded, “But I am pretty good at it, I’ll admit.”

 

“Yeah you are,” Justin agreed.

 

The period of quiet that enveloped the loft at that point gave Brian another chance to try to change the subject.  Again though, he didn’t succeed.

 

“There weren’t any gay people in Naughty Marietta, Brian,” Justin remembered.  “I bet they had gay people even way back then.”

 

“Yeah, they did,” Brian agreed.  “They just didn’t show them in this movie because they didn’t want them to show up Eddy and MacDonald.”

 

“Gee whiz, Bri,” Justin decided, “You really do know everything.  If we had been in that movie, nobody would have even noticed Nelson Eddy and Jeanette MacDonald.  We would have shown them what real love is.”  
  
”Yeah, we would have,” Brian kind of laughed, “But we weren’t available when they made that movie.  That’s why we weren’t in it.”

 

“Now you’re making fun of me and I’m just trying to talk about the movie,” Justin complained.  “You act like you don’t want to talk about the movie at all.”

 

“That’s not it, Baby,” Brian explained.  “If you want to talk about the movie, I’ll be glad to talk about the movie.”  That was not really the truth and it turned out to be a mistake on Brian’s part because Justin did want to continue talking about the movie.

 

“You know what, Bri,” Justin rebegan the discussion, “If you love me more than Nelson Eddy loved Jeanette MacDonald, how come you never sing to me?  I was thinking about that when he sang ‘Ah Sweet Mystery of Life’ and I was thinking how neat it would be if you were singing that to me.”

 

“You think I should sing to you?” Brian reacted.

 

“Well you’re supposed to be in love with me,” Justin reasoned, “So why not?”

 

“Maybe because I’m not a singer and we aren’t in some MGM musical film,” Brian suggested.

 

“Well it might not be as good as Nelson Eddy,” Justin laughed, “But I wouldn’t notice.  I love you too much to notice any faults you might have.”

 

“You do?” Brian seemed surprised.  “That’s good to know.”

 

“Well I’ll bet you could sing ‘Ah Sweet Mystery of Life’ if you wanted to,” Justin maintained.

 

“I don’t figure I’d be on pitch,” Brian laughed uncomfortably.  “I don’t really consider myself much of a singer.”

 

“And sometimes you’re not very much of a romantic either,” Justin complained good-naturedly.  “I bet if you were really romantic, you’d want to sing to me.”

 

“Well you are certainly a mystery of life,” Brian retorted.  “A genuine mystery, all right.  I hardly ever know what you’ll come up with next.  But I want to do some thinking before I do any singing.”

 

“Just forget it, Bri,” Justin said.  “It’s just that I’m incurably romantic and you’re not.  That’s OK.  We still love each other and that’s what really counts.”

 

“Wait a minute, Twink,” Brian argued.  “I don’t recall you ever singing to me if you’re so romantic and that’s what romantic people do.”

 

“I did try to sing to you once, Bri,” Justin reminded him.  “Yes, I did.  It was after we watched one of those Fred Astaire-Ginger Rogers movies.  I sang ‘Night and Day’ to you, and you got that real odd look on your face, so I never did it again.”

 

“I didn’t know I had an odd look on my face,” Brian responded, ”But, you know, I kind of liked it when you sang ‘Night and Day’ to me.  I really did.  Maybe it’s you who should sing “Ah Sweet Mystery of Life’ to me.”

 

Justin smiled at Brian.  “You know what, Bri,” Justin remembered.  “In the movie, ‘Ah Sweet Mystery of Life’ was a duet.

 

Brian smiled back benignly as he squeezed the kid closer to himself.  It was going to be a long night but Brian was ready.  He was prepared to love every minute of it.  He had things finally figured out.

 

“You’re just getting back at me for picking that movie, aren’t you?” He asked the kid.

 

“What would make you think that?” Justin laughed at him.


	185. Chapter 185 - Getting A Head

The situation was this.  Justin had the fake fireplace ablaze and was sitting on the floor in front of it with a smile on his face.  Brian was deliberately delaying in taking his place next to Justin out of good-natured contrariness.  Justin had prepared an elaborate dinner for them – “for no particular reason” according to Justin.  Brian suspected there might just actually be some particular reason so he hesitated in flopping onto the floor, but eventually he lined himself up next to the kid and waited.  Brian knew that Justin could have whatever he wanted but he was not about to make it easy, and he knew that Justin wouldn’t want the situation to develop in any other way.  Some time passed before the kid began the conversation. 

“You know what we haven’t done lately, Bri?” he asked.

 

“No,” Brian laughed at him, “But somehow I’m thinking that sometime very soon we will be doing whatever it is that we haven’t done lately.”

 

“Gee whiz, Kinney,” Justin replied.  “You always seem to be suspicious, whatever I say.  It’s like you don’t trust me or something.  You know what, I have half a notion not to tell you what we haven’t done lately.  It would serve you right.”

 

“Yes it would,’ Brian agreed.  “But you know what, Baby, I’ve liked everything we have done lately so I guess I don’t miss what we haven’t done lately, so then I won’t be too disappointed if you decide to be harsh and not tell me.  Maybe you should show me how mean I am by not telling me at all.”

 

“Well you’re lucky that it was only half a notion, Sweetheart,” Justin decided.  “So maybe I’ll tell you after all.  We haven’t been to a Pirates’ game.”

 

“And you think we should go?” Brian surmised.  “You being such a big baseball fan and all.  Do you know whether they’re in first or last place?”

 

“Well I am a big baseball fan,” Justin replied.  “It’s just that I’ve been so busy this summer that I haven’t had enough time to follow the Pirates as closely as I’d like.”

 

“Me neither,” Brian responded.  “So maybe it is time that we get out to the park and see our Bucs.  I have several clients with luxury boxes.  I can line up some good seats for a game in the next couple of weeks.  See how nice I am and how easy I am to convince.”

 

“Next Thursday, Bri,” Justin told him.  “I really would like to go next Thursday.  If you can’t get tickets for next Thursday, I’ll buy them as long as you’ll go with me.  We need to decide though before it’s a sell-out.”

 

“Pardon me, Twink,” Brian laughed.  “Pardon my suspicious nature but let me make a guess right off the top of my head.  They’re giving away bobble-head dolls of some player you never heard of, but you never saw a bobble-head doll you didn’t want.”

 

“Wrong, Mr. Know-It-All Brian Kinney,” Justin laughed back.  “Absolutely wrong.”

 

“I’m surprised,” Brian admitted.  “So it’s not bobble-head doll night.  Could it be that you really want to see the game?”

 

“Wait a minute, Bri,” Justin cautioned him.  “You’re jumping to wrong conclusions now.  It’s not bobble-head doll night for some player I never heard of and it’s not bobble-head doll night for some player I ever heard of either.  But it is bobble-head doll night.  They’re giving away bobble-head dolls of the Pirate Parrot.”

 

“Excuse me if I’m wrong again,” Brian replied.  “Sorry if I’m jumping to more conclusions, but you’re dragging me to PNC Park to see a baseball game just so you can get a bobble-head doll of the mascot?”

 

”Well, not exactly, Honey,” Justin defended himself.  “I could go by myself and get a bobble-head doll if I had to.  I need you to go so that you can get a bobble-head doll for Gus.  He wants one too.”

 

“So you don’t really care If I’m with you at the game or not,” Brian grinned, “As long as you get two bobble-head dolls of the Pirate Parrot.  That’s really romantic, Baby.  Really really romantic.   You could have asked Malcolm or Hunter or Mikey to go with you instead of me and you would still have got your two dolls.”

 

“That’s a really mean thing to say, Brian Kinney,” Justin complained.  “Of course, I love you and I always want you with me wherever I go and you know it, and that’s why I want you to go to the game with me, and you know that too.  And anyhow, Mikey and Ben and Hunter and Malcolm are already going to the game but they all want their bobble-heads.”

 

“So you needed to find the only person in Pittsburgh who might go with you and not want to own a bobble-head doll of the Pirate Parrot,” Brian summarized, “And you were lucky enough to find him right here, living in this very  loft with you.  That’s real luck.”

 

“And you’ll go with me, won’t you?” Justin surmised.

 

“Yeah, I’ll go and I’ll scrounge up the tickets too,” Brian conceded, “But I’ll be with you because I love you and you’ll be with me because I represent a bobble-head doll that you want.  That’s a neat trade-off.”

 

“Cut it out, Brian,” Justin said.  “You want to go to that game every bit as much as I do.”

 

“I think that’s probably true,” Brian agreed as Justin put his head on Brian’s shoulder and the discussion died out for a while.

 

After a while, Justin resumed the chat.  “I guess I’ll have to keep my Pirate Parrot bobble-head at the comic book store,” he postulated, “With the rest of my collection.  You wouldn’t want to keep it here in the loft as a conversation piece, would you?  People would notice it, I’ll bet.”

 

“Baby,” Brian laughed.  “You can keep it here if you can find a place to put it where nobody will ever see it.  Otherwise it would be more popular than any of my vast priceless collection of objets d’art from all over the world.”

 

“Never mind, Brian,” Justin replied, laughing too.  “I’ll keep it with the others.  If it was here, you’d be giving me a lot of funny looks every time you saw it.”

 

“Don’t I give you a lot of funny looks anyhow?” Brian grinned.  “Or don’t you notice?”

 

“I think I notice, Bri,” Justin cuddled closer to the big guy, “But they’re not because of some bobble-head doll, I hope.”

 

“Not unless you’re a bobble-head, Baby,” Brian told him.  

 

“Well I’m not,” Justin responded.  “I’m a real live boy.  I think you’d rather have a real live boy than a bobble-head doll.”

 

“You know what, Pinocchio,” Brian informed him.  “If they were giving out Justin Taylor bobble-heads at the ballpark, I think I’d want to go – and keep the doll for myself too.”

 

“Brian Kinney,” Justin said.  “I think that statement may be romantic but I’ll have to think about it for a while.  No, I don’t.  That was romantic.  You are a really romantic guy, Brian.  I’m glad I picked you out of the crowd.”

 

“Out of the crowd of whos or whats?” Brian wondered.  “Just from whence was I selected?”

 

Out of every guy in the world, Bri,” Justin assured him.  “I’d even rather have you than a Pirate Parrot bobble-head doll.  How’s that for being in love?”  
  
”Geez, Baby, that is the absolutely most romantic thing you’ve ever said to me,” Brian admitted.

 

Having thus hit their romantic high points, there wasn’t any more that either of them could say, so they stopped talking for the evening.


	186. Chapter 186 - Fun at the Amusement Park

Justin had the fire lit and he seemed just a bit nervous as he waited for Brian to join him in front of the fake flames.  The heating element in the fireplace was turned off for the summer, of course, and the air-conditioner was working silently to cool the loft.  Still Justin appeared to be sweating and Brian noticed that fact as he parked himself in his usual place on the floor next to the kid.  There wasn’t much about Justin that Brian didn’t notice. 

 

“How bad is this going to be?” Brian smiled at the twink.  “My guess is ‘pretty bad.’”

 

“Brian,” Justin began tentatively.  “I’m gonna tell you something and I want you to know beforehand that I just found it out today.  This is the first time I’ve had a chance to tell you and I’m going to tell you.  I don’t want you to think I keep any secrets from you at all.  I didn’t know.  Other people knew but I didn’t.  You gotta believe that, Bri.  I didn’t know a thing about it till Hunter let it slip this afternoon.”  
  
”Hunter knew something before you did?” Brian marveled.  “The great Justin Taylor must be failing badly and his lines of communication need to be up-graded.  This has to be some really big stuff so how come you didn’t know, at least before Hunter?”

 

“There are just some things people are scared to tell me, Bri,” Justin explained.  “Nobody wanted to tell me.”

 

Brian had to laugh out loud.  “People are afraid to tell stuff to Justin Taylor,” he chortled.  “We know everybody’s afraid to tell anything at all to mean old Brian Kinney so he never knows anything till the secretive little twink decides to tell him, but this is a really new thing if they’re afraid to tell you.  What have you done to scare them?  I guess some of mean old Brian has finally rubbed off on kind sweet little Justin.”

 

Justin had to smile just a little himself.  “Maybe, but not any of the bad stuff has rubbed off on me, Bri.  They’re not afraid of me like they are of you, Sweetheart,” Justin responded.  “Not at all.  They know I’m always very understanding and helpful.  What they do know is that I have to tell you all the stuff that you might not like and they feel sorry for me.”

 

“So everybody feels sorry for you because you’re stuck with me, eh?” Brian was still laughing.  “They’re probably right though.  I’ll bet I am tough to live with.”

 

“Cut it out, Kinney,” Justin came back.  “Although maybe they do feel a little sorry for me being stuck with you.  They don’t see all your good points like I do though.  I’m really happy to be stuck with you and I think you know that.  It’s just that there are a few times ….”

 

“And this is one of them?” Brian interjected.

 

“This is definitely one of them,” Justin confirmed.  “I gotta tell you this and then you’re gonna get mad, and probably blame me, but I bet everything will be OK by the time we turn the fireplace off.  I hope so anyhow.”

 

“Well if I’m going to be the big villain in this story,” Brian mused. “I guess it’s good that you have me laughing to start with.  I think it’s really funny that they’re afraid to tell you something.  Who all knew about this big news event before you anyhow?”

 

“Everybody,” Justin admitted.  “Mel and Linz, Mikey and Ben, Malcolm and Hunter.  I’m pretty sure Emmett and Ted knew, and I think Gus knew too.”

 

“Geez, Baby,” Brian told him.  “You are slipping.  You must feel terrible about being next to the very last to know something.  Maybe I should promise not to get mad when you tell me.  That might make you feel better.”

 

“No,” Justin answered.  “I don’t want you to promise that.  I know you’ve never broken a promise to me so I don’t want you to promise me anything now.  You might not be able to keep your promise.”

 

“Well this is beginning to arouse my curiosity, Baby,” Brian admitted.  “Why don’t you just remember how much I love you and tell me what nobody wanted to tell you?  We can get that over with and maybe get on to something else that we both might enjoy more.”

 

“This year’s gay and lesbian picnic is at Kennywood Park the week after next, Bri,” Justin began.

 

“We’ve known that since last year, Baby,” Brian interrupted.  “Are you telling me what you want to tell me or are you just changing the subject?”

 

Justin did not acknowledge the interruption.  “Linz and Mel have this friend who loves roller coasters and has never been to Kennywood.  They were telling this friend how great the Kennywood coasters are and now she wants to go with us to the picnic.”

 

“Cut to the chase, Kiddo,” Brian cut in.  “If this is something I’m not going to like, I’m not getting the picture.  I know Linz and Mel have some weird friends.  Remember Leda.  So we’ll just meet this friend at the park and if we don’t like her, we’ll ignore her.  What’s the problem, Baby?  We might even like her when we meet her.”

 

“You’ve already met her, Bri,” Justin told him.  “That’s what the problem is.  And you don’t like her and you’re not very good at ignoring her either.  Penelope is coming to Kennywood with us.”

 

“Penelope Brown, maybe?  Penelope Smith?” Brian hoped.  “You’re not talking about Penelope Shellcoff, Malcolm’s sister, the one with the awful dog.  That could be a disaster.”

 

“Well we better get ready for the disaster, Bri,” Justin said.  “Henny and Penny will be here for a couple of days so that Penny can ride the coasters.  Henrietta the Eighth won’t be going to Kennywood because they don’t allow dogs even if they have won ‘Best in Show.’”

 

Brian didn’t respond so Justin kept going.  “They’re gonna stay with Mel and Linz, and I’m gonna see that you don’t get bothered any more than what’s absolutely necessary.  I’m going to protect you, Brian.  You can count on me.  Try not to be upset.”

 

Brian still didn’t say anything and Justin got mildly alarmed.  “You’re OK, aren’t you, Bri?” he asked.  I hope you’re not too mad.  You can see I didn’t have anything to do with it, can’t you?”

 

“We could get the seat behind her on that coaster that goes like about a mile high and then when it gets to the very top of the highest part…..” Brian pondered out loud.

 

“Cut it out, Bri” Justin pleaded.  “You’re scaring me.  I think you’re joking but I’m not all that sure.”

 

“And I know a guy who raises pit bulls for fighting,” Brian continued.  “We can take Henrietta over to meet them.  Bet they’ll be glad to meet a ‘Best in Show’?”

 

“Brian Kinney,” Justin went on.  “Will you please quit that scary stuff and go ahead and get mad and blame me for this whole thing so we can get it over with?”

 

“I am only kidding, Baby,” Brian ran his hand through the kid’s hair.  “I know this is not your fault.  I’ll get through it and I won’t embarrass you either.  And you know what else, I won’t tell anybody that I didn’t get mad, so you can take the credit for taming the savage beast yet another time and get all that sympathy from everybody.”

 

“And it will keep you’re reputation intact too,” Justin smiled at the big guy.  “I know how you like to keep your reputation as big bad Brian.  So I won’t mention that you didn’t get real mad either.  And we’ll have fun at Kennywood, Bri.  We will.  But we’re not going on any coasters with Penelope and you’re not going to see Henrietta the Eighth at all.  And that’s how it’s gonna be so no arguments.”

 

Brian did not respond and the conversation died out for a while at this point.  Later on, Justin resumed the talk.  “You know, Brian,” he said softly.  “You can really surprise me.  Sometimes I just don’t know what you’re going to do.”

 

“And sometimes you do know what I’m going to do, don’t you?” Brian whispered back.  “I’ll bet you know what I’m going to do right now.”

 

“Well I can hope,” Justin answered flashing a coy smile.  And Justin was right-on this time.

 

And, furthermore, everything was OK by the time they turned off the fireplace, just as Justin had, maybe not so confidently, predicted earlier in the evening.


	187. Chapter 187 - Brave, Courageous and Bold

The fire was blazing. Brian and Justin were staring at the fake flames jumping to and fro. They were a happy pair as they cuddled together. They were hoping that nothing would break the spell. Alas….

“You know, Bri,” Justin felt he had to bring up the subject, “The costume ball at the Gay and Lesbian Center is Saturday night and you said you’d go if I did all the preparation work like getting the tickets and the costumes and all.”

“Yeah,” Brian admitted. “I remember saying that but I think you had put something in my drink to make me say it.”  
  
”You weren’t drinking, Bri. And what makes you think I have to put anything in your drink to get you to do stuff?” Justin laughed. “Couldn’t it just be my really superior power of persuasion? Actually in this case though, I think you really want to go but you wouldn’t mind getting credit for being a martyr too.”

“I said I’d go and I’ll go,” Brian told him. “Let’s just leave it at that. What else do I need to know?”

“Well, Melanie and me went to the costume shop today and picked up some costumes,” Justin replied. “Melanie thought we should all go as western characters and that worked out pretty well.”

“I guess I’m going to be the Lone Ranger,” Brian proposed. “I’d make a great Lone Ranger, don’t you think?”

“Yeah, you would, Bri,” Justin agreed, “And actually I thought of you as the Lone Ranger but then they didn’t have your size in that costume, so I guess I’m going to be the Lone Ranger.”

“I hope you’re not going to tell me that I’m going to be Tonto,” Brian groused. “I don’t think I want to be Tonto.”

“Nope,” Justin answered. “Malcolm is going to be Tonto. I would have been Tonto if you could have been the Lone Ranger but I didn’t think you would want to be Tonto, Kemo Sabe.”

“Well just who am I going to be?” Brian asked.

“Justin seemed to ignore the question. “Melanie is going to be Calamity Jane and Linz is gonna be Annie Oakley,” Justin went on.

“Well I hope I’m not going to be Wild Bill Hickok then. Wasn’t he Calamity Jane’s boy-friend?” Brian decided. “I’m getting along with Melanie better these days but I don’t want to go to any party as her boy-friend.”

“Calm down, Sweetheart,” Justin warned Brian. “You aren’t going anywhere as anybody’s boy-friend but mine, and you’re not going to come home as anybody’s boy-friend but mine either.”

“Then how can you be the Lone Ranger if you’re going to be so possessive, Twink?” Brian laughed.

“Lone Ranger, yes; lone Justin, no way,” Justin explained. “Anyhow, Mikey is going to be Wild Bill Hickok and Ben is going to be Zorro. It’s going to be neat, Brian.”

“You haven’t told me who I’m going to be yet,” Brian groused, “And all the good guys are gone.”

“No they aren’t, Mr. Kinney,” Justin told him. “You’re going to be Wyatt Earp.”

“Wyatt Earp?” Brian considered, “Not bad, Twink. You know I watched reruns of a Wyatt Earp TV series when I was a kid,” Brian said, “And my dad had watched the same series when he was a kid. It was kind of corny but pretty neat for kids. I remember the theme: ‘Wyatt Earp, Wyatt Earp, brave, courageous and bold….’”

“You know what, Bri,” Justin recalled. “I watched that same series, and so did my dad. I didn’t know you had seen it. That’s a real coincidence because Gus is watching it now.”

“Well then Gus’ dad can go visit his son in the Wyatt Earp costume,” Brian presumed. “That should be a neat thing for the kid.”

“Well maybe not, Bri,” Justin replied. “This Wyatt Earp is a kind of modern type, more realistic costume than the one we saw on the TV. He was always so neat and clean. That’s not how the real Wyatt Earp looked. This costume is more historically correct, like what they wear on that western series on HBO. You might scare Gus if you appeared over there in that costume.”

“OK,” Brian reasoned. “Let me get this straight. You hate me so you got everybody else a nice clean costume so they’ll all look just like they stepped right out of the comic book, and I’m gonna be some sleazy looking character from cable TV.”

“Cut it out, Brian,” Justin complained. “You know I love you, and you know I wouldn’t do anything like that to you. You’ll probably win the award for best costume. It is the best costume of the bunch and it cost the most to rent too. I got you that costume because I wanted you to win the Best Costume Award.”

“OK,” Brian kept on. “Sleazy old Brian Kinney in a sleazy old Wyatt Earp costume. Whatever.”

“Brian, you’re making me feel terrible. I know you’re just kidding but you know how sensitive I am,” Justin protested. “I’ll bet if you were an actor, they’d cast you as Wyatt Earp without thinking twice. They’d know how good looking you are, just like I do, but they’d still know you would be a great Wyatt Earp.”

“Well I am not an actor,” Brian pointed out, “And I don’t know that I’d want to play Wyatt Earp if I was an actor. I think I’d make a better businessman or a lover type.”

“Naw,” Justin disagreed. “That wouldn’t be a challenge at all if you were an actor. You are already a businessman and the greatest lover in the world. That wouldn’t tax your acting skills at all. If you were an actor, you’d jump at the chance to play Wyatt Earp.”

“Sleazy costume and all?” Brian smiled, cheering Justin up just a little.

“Yeah,” Justin said, “But we’d get you all dressed up for the awards show, the Oscars, the Emmys, or whatever. You’d look just like Brian Kinney when they handed you your little statue.”

“And I’d take about ten minutes to thank everybody,” Brian conjectured. “That would make me nervous. I hope I wouldn’t forget to thank you first.”

“If you did you could come back here afterwards and cuddle up in front of the fireplace with your little statue, Kinney,” Justin warned him.

“I wouldn’t forget, Baby,” Brian told him. “I want my twink a lot more than I want any old statue.”

“Even if you don’t like the costume he picked out for you?” Justin laughed, feeling a lot more comfortable.  
  
”Yeah,” Brian admitted. “And I’ll thank you first when I pick up the Best Costume Award Saturday night too. You’ll probably be the only one I thank. And for more than just picking out a winning sleazy costume. For a lot of other things too.”

That brought the conversation to what would have been a successful conclusion except that it wasn’t the conclusion. After a good while spent in other stuff, the duo returned to the conversation.

“You know what, Baby?” Brian thought out loud. “I bet the crowd will be really surprised when the Lone Ranger and Wyatt Earp come to the party hand in hand. Gay cowboys, no less.”

“Old stuff, Bri,” Justin reached over to kiss the guy he loved more than anything else in the world. “You’re behind the times. That’s already been done.”


	188. Chapter 188 - Where's the Fire

Brian had a feeling before the guys sat themselves down in front of their fake fireplace. He felt that Justin was not pleased at something Brian had told him earlier in the day. Brian expected the subject to come up in front of the flickering flames. Brian decided that the best defense was a good offense.

“Are you upset about the fireplace business, Baby?” he asked the kid.

“Why would I be upset about the fireplace business?” Justin asked him in return.

“OK,” Brian concluded. “We have now established that you are upset about the fireplace business, so I guess I should ask why you’re upset about the fireplace business?”

“And just why would I be upset about the fireplace business?” Justin wanted to know.

“I asked you first, Sweetheart,” Brian smiled at him. “But let me go over the whole thing again, OK? I have this good account with Ace Fireplaces. I want to keep that account. A couple of years ago they gave me this fireplace we have here….”

“Which you hated and wanted to get rid of,” Justin interrupted him. “But which I wanted to keep and look how neat it has been for us. You like the fireplace too now, Brian, so you might as well admit it.”

“I will admit it, Baby,” Brian agreed, “And then I will go on with my story if you’ll let me. Last year they wanted me to replace this fireplace with their newer model and you said….”

“I didn’t want any new fireplace, Bri,” Justin interrupted again. “How could we know the new fireplace would work as well as the old one? We can discuss anything in front of this one and we always end up happy. How could we be sure the new fireplace would be as good?”

“You’re right, Kiddo, as always, so I know we are going to be blissfully happy after this discussion is over – maybe not during the discussion itself but surely when it’s over,” Brian conceded laconically. “But to continue with my story, I turned them down. They were surprised and I wasn’t about to tell them why I didn’t want the new model. I don’t mind being crazy but I’m not going to tell people who don’t know it.”

“Yeah,” Justin relented slightly, “There are some people left who don’t know you’re crazy.”

“Which is probably because they don’t know that I ever took up with you, Baby,” Brian reasoned, “And worse yet, I’m not one bit sorry I did.”

Justin seemed to snuggle up to Brian as the big guy went on. “OK, now they have an even newer model which they offered me. I couldn’t turn them down. I had to take it. I really did. Now would you want to replace our fireplace with the new one?”

“No,” Justin answered. “Of course, I don’t want any new fireplace. I love this one.”

“Me too, Sweetheart,” Brian agreed. “But I had to take the new fireplace. I really did. So now there are two fireplaces. We don’t need two fireplaces. We couldn’t stand that much happiness.”

“Yeah,” Justin conceded. “I guess you had to take the new one, but then you gave it to Mikey and Ben.”

“You, my beloved twink,” Brian replied, “Are the one who told Mikey all about our fireplace. In fact, I think you even invited him over to sit in front of it, and I think it was you who convinced him it was magic. He’s been talking about getting one ever since but it takes Mikey a long time to get around to doing things. He was really glad to get the fireplace though, and he’ll tell me how it works and all so Ace won’t know I gave it away. It was a perfect solution. So what’s bothering you about that?”

“I don’t know, Bri,” Justin admitted. “It’s like sharing our secret or something. Maybe like giving away some of the luck we have with our fireplace. I don’t know. Never mind. I’m just crazy, I guess.”

“Well, you did take up with me, Baby,” Brian told him, “So maybe you are crazy.”

“Maybe,” Justin agreed. “But I guess the fireplace business is settled. Sorry if I made an issue of it. I guess you know how I am.”

“Yeah,” Brian told him, “I do know how you are. But I still have a question for you, Baby. When I took the fireplace over to Mikey’s, he said that Malcolm and Hunter would be happy about it too.”  
  
”He did?” Justin responded.

“He did,” Brian confirmed. “And he said that they had been after him to get a fireplace ever since they tried out ours. Now I don’t remember them ever trying out ours. Do you remember them ever using it, Baby? Maybe you have a better memory than I do?”

“Uh,” Justin hedged. “Maybe….”

“Maybe you remember or maybe they did use our ‘good luck’ fireplace?” Brian asked for clarification.

“Well there were a couple of times when Hunter and Malcolm were not seeing eye to eye,” Justin confessed, “So I had them sit for an hour or so in front of our fireplace and that seemed to help them solve their problems. The fireplace seemed to work for them just like it works for us.”

“And you weren’t afraid they’d take some of our luck out of the magic fireplace?” Brian asked through a suppressed laugh.

“It never seemed to bother us,” Justin defended himself. “The fireplace always works for us and you know it. No matter what crazy thing I do, I can explain it to you if we have the fireplace working. You know that.”

Brian smiled gently. He did know that.

“How come you didn’t tell me about it, Baby?” Brian wondered. “About you lending our fireplace to Malcolm and Hunter, and maybe a lot of other people I don’t even know about. You didn’t think I’d be mad about it, did you?”

“Nah,” Justin responded, “But I did figure you’d make fun of me and razz me about it, just like you’re going to do now, so go ahead, scoff and deride.”

“Maybe I’ll do a little scoffing and deriding later, Baby,” Brian replied. “But I still don’t see why me giving the new fireplace to Mikey bothered you. Wanna tell me what the problem was?”

“I can’t, Brian,” Justin admitted. “I just do dumb things every once in a while – not all that often but sometimes. You know that. I know you know that. I’m sorry but that’s just me. I can’t help it. You know what though, Bri, you don’t ever seem to get mad at me when I do something dumb. You don’t even pick on me when I do something really dumb.”

“You got me, Twink,” Brian confessed. “Actually I do like to pick on you every once in a while, not often but sometimes, but I would never pick on you when you do something really dumb. I love you way too much to ever do that.”

“Well then,” Justin posed the significant question, “Are you going to pick on me about this?”

“I haven’t decided,” Brian told him.

“I think you should pick on me, Bri,” Justin grinned at him. “Just a little bit though.”

“You know what, Babe,” Brian changed the subject. “Mikey told me that he and Ben had a disagreement yesterday and they tried out the new fireplace and he thought it worked for them.”

“It didn’t take any of our magic though, Brian,” Justin responded. “Our fireplace worked again tonight. I’m happy. Aren’t you?”

“Yeah,” Brian squeezed the twink and tousled his hair at the same time. “I’m happy.”


	189. Chapter 189 - Quo Vadis?

The guys had just settled themselves down in front of the fake fireplace. Brian had an enigmatic look on his face and Justin was wondering about that. He did not have long to wonder.

“Baby,” Brian began the conversation, “We are going to be in Atlanta from Wednesday to Sunday of the week after next. Justin looked a bit confused so Brian continued. “I have to be in Atlanta on some business and I want you to come along.”

“I’m not sure I can get away, Bri,” Justin began before he was interrupted.

“Yeah, you can get away, and you will,” Brian told him. “I want you to come along.”

“You’re getting pretty bossy, Mr. Kinney,” Justin started out only to be interrupted once more.

“You know, Sweetheart,” Brian smiled at him. “I was going to tell you I had to be away and wait for you to say you wanted to come too, before I told you it was Atlanta, but I decided to just come out with the whole thing and insist that you come with me.”

“I don’t know what you mean, Bri,” Justin responded. “Why would Atlanta make any difference?”

“You do too know what I mean, Baby and you know why Atlanta makes a difference,” Brian told him, “And that’s exactly why I want you to go along. You’ll have a good time. We’ll have dinner one night, I think we decided on Wednesday, with your old pal, Hotlanta, and his new boy-friend, and you can brag one more time about how you turned that temporary setback into ultimate victory.”

Justin had to smile at that remark. “Some victory,” Justin groused in jest. “I ended up with some big bossy bully who forces me to do stuff I maybe don’t want to do.”

“You have to be careful what you wish for,” Brian cautioned him. “And whom you decide to stalk.”

“I am learning,” Justin retorted with a big smile. A period of silence followed that exchange. Each of the guys was thinking, and also wondering what the other was thinking.

It was Justin who finally broke the silence. “If we’re in Atlanta, I guess I’ll have to call my cousin Wilson,” he said.

“Maybe not,” Brian replied. “I’ve already arranged for Wilson to meet us at our hotel Friday afternoon so we’ll have plenty of time to spend with your good-looking cousin.”

“The good-looking cousin who looks a lot like me?” Justin seemed to relax. “Does that make me good looking too?”

“Oh you’ll pass, Kiddo,” Brian told him. “And I can assure you that it’s you that I’m taking to Atlanta and it’s you I’ll be bringing home. I have no intention whatever of leaving you in Atlanta and bringing Wilson back home with me. I know that’s hard for you to believe because of your innate humility, but it’s true just the same.”

“Cut it out, Brian,” Justin insisted. “It’s just that Wil’s as good-looking as me and he is a lot nicer. Why would anyone want me when they could have him?”

“Well maybe they couldn’t have him,” Brian conjectured, “Or maybe they’re so much of a masochist that they really like having somebody around who can be a genuine pain a lot of the time.”

“Gee whiz, Brian Kinney,” Justin purred. “You sure know a lot of different ways to say ‘I love you.’ I never know how you’re going to say it next.”

“But I do say it,” Brian responded.

“Yeah, you do,” Justin admitted.

“And I do mean it,” Brian added.

“I know you do,” Justin admitted further.

“Maybe someday you’ll explain to me then, why you get so up tight when we’re going to see Wilson,” Brian suggested.

“I’m not sure I could explain it, Bri,” Justin told him. “You know I’m kind of a complex personality, don’t you?”

“Oh yeah,” Brian agreed, “And complex personality is a good way to put it. I’ll have to remember that. Sometimes….”

But it was now Brian’s turn to be interrupted. “Never mind, Honey,” Justin broke in. I don’t need to know everything. I just need to know you love me. I love you too.”

“Yeah, I know,” Brian told him as they cuddled just a little closer and let the conversation die out again.

To no one’s surprise, it was Justin who broke the silence again. “You know what, Brian,” he said. “You aren’t bossy very often but I guess I have to confess that I kind of liked it when you were bossing me around tonight. It’s OK if you do that every once in a while, as long as you don’t do it too often. See what a complex personality I have.”

“Well if we’re confessing secrets tonight,” Brian laughed, “Maybe I should tell you that I boss you around a lot more than you think I do. When I want you to do something I just get you to think it’s your idea and, if necessary, I pretend I’m against it to make sure you’ll want to do it. I guess I’m kind of a complex personality too.”

“Complex?” Justin questioned. “I don’t call that ‘complex.’ I call that ‘sneaky.’ You know how you always say you are going to Ibiza or someplace when you want to get away from me. Well I think I’m going to go to Warsaw. What do you think of that, Mr. Kinney?”

“You’re tough, Mr. Taylor,” Brian admitted. “Just postpone your trip to Warsaw until we get back from Atlanta, and I’ll go to Warsaw with you if you’ll let me.”

“You do know a lot of ways to say ‘I love you,’ Kinney,” Justin marveled. “A lot of ways.”

“You didn’t always know that,” Brian reminded him.

“No I didn’t,” Justin admitted, “But we live and learn, don’t we?”

“Yeah,” Brian agreed. “That’s what it’s like when two complex personalities get together. You know what, Baby. I don’t think your cousin Wilson has a complex personality at all.”

“I think you’re right, Bri,” Justin agreed back. “Wilson is way too nice to have a complex personality. That’s probably why you like me more than him. But, Bri, you know I would have gone with you to Atlanta anyway, just because you wanted me to.”  
  
”Yeah I know,” Brian told him, ushering in another quiet period which Brian would have allowed to go on forever.

Justin however, with his complex personality, had only a limited tolerance for silence, regardless of how much he was enjoying it. “Where do you think we should go when we get back from Warsaw?” he eventually asked the big guy.


	190. Chapter 190 - Bargains

The fireplace was lit and the guys were positioned as usual watching the flickering flames. Justin looked especially serious so it might have been a surprise when Brian began the conversation.

“Quit laughing, Twink,” he ordered the somber looking Justin.

“Do I look like I’m laughing?” Justin questioned.

“No, you don’t look at all like you’re laughing,” Brian admitted. “But you are laughing just the same. You’re laughing on the inside. That’s what you’re doing. I know you are so just cut it out.”

“Well what am I laughing about on the inside?” Justin wanted to know. “Just what’s so funny that I would be laughing on the inside, Brian? I don’t even think I knew people could laugh on the inside.”

“You know damn well what’s funny,” Brian insisted. “You’ve been laughing ever since we got home. Just because you don’t look like you’re laughing doesn’t mean you’re not laughing.”

Justin managed just a puzzled look so Brian went on.

“You dragged me to that dollar store,” Brian accused him. “You tricked me into going. And you know it too.”

“Now give me a minute and let me just think about the situation,” Justin proposed patiently, and certainly not laughing on the outside. “I go to the dollar store regularly and get a lot of stuff there. Last week when I got home, you accused me of buying too much useless stuff. I had thirteen items and you laughed at me – on the outside as I remember it. You said I was a sucker for a bargain and you called me a bargain-holic and practically ordered me to stay out of all dollar stores. You weren’t mean, Bri, but you seemed pretty insistent to me.”

“I never ordered you not to go back to any dollar stores,” Brian replied. “I never did. I never order you to do or not do anything – and you know that too.”

“As I remember that conversation, Bri,” Justin reminded him, “I think you said that I should not go back there unless you went with me to keep me from buying a lot of unnecessary items that just clutter up the loft. I think that’s pretty much what you said.”

“Well you never do anything else I order you to do,” Brian had to grin. “The only reason you did what I told you this time was to trick me into going with you. You are a manipulator, Twink. Don’t deny it.”

“I certainly do deny it,” Justin argued. “All I said this morning was that I’d like to go to the dollar store today and that, from what you said last week, maybe you would want to go along and keep me from buying too much unnecessary junk.”

“It was a trick, Baby,” Brian insisted. “I know a trick when I see it. I can always tell.””

“Well maybe you do, Honey,” Justin decided, “And I’m sure you can. But if this was a trick and you knew it when you saw it, how come you went to the dollar store with me? Seems like you only know a trick after you’ve fallen for it, not that this was a trick at all. It wasn’t. I wouldn’t ever do a thing like that.”

“Yeah, it was so a trick,” Brian held his ground. “It was definitely a Justin Taylor-esque trick.”

“But you got your way, Sweetheart,” Justin reasoned. “I saw a lot of stuff I might have bought today but you were with me so I didn’t buy anything. You kept my bargain-holic-ness completely under control. I didn’t buy anything at all to clutter up the loft. I don’t see what’s the problem. Seems like things went your way.”

“You do too see what the problem is,” Brian growled. “And you’re laughing harder than ever – on the inside all right – but harder than ever.”

“Well what am I laughing about?” Justin asked him. “Why am I laughing?”

“I don’t need to tell you why you’re laughing, Twink,” Brian said through a kind of smile. “You’re laughing because I decided to pick up a few useful items since I was there.”

“I think maybe fifteen,” Justin remembered, with a kind of smile of his own. “Yeah, I think maybe – fifteen.”

“You were actually counting the stuff I put in my basket, Twink?” Brian sounded surprised.

“Not exactly counting, Sweetheart,” Justin nuanced. “Not like you counted my items last week – not like that. I was really just hoping to learn how to pick useful items instead of the crazy ones I usually buy.”

“Shut up, you little pain in the ass,” Brian imperiously but lovingly demanded, mussing up Justin’s hair in the process.

“As always, sir,” Justin chortled – on the outside too. “Your slightest wish is my command.”

And a brief pause happened here – but fairly brief it was this time.

“Well there were some good buys on paper clips and rubber bands and thumb tacks. I always run out of those and now I won’t,” Brian pointed out, resuming the discussion.

“Brian – my dearly beloved,” Justin pointed out in rebuttal. “You have not run out of any of those items since I have been living here with you. I check that stuff in your desk regularly and make sure you never run out. In fact, I had rubber bands last week among my many useless purchases.”

“You go through my desk?” Brian retorted unthreateningly.

“Just to see if you’re running out of stuff.” Justin defended himself. “I never pry into your private stuff – like the list of presents that you’re going to get me – or anything like that.”

“Well now that I know about the dollar store, you may get a lot more presents,” Brian smirked. “Stuff you’ll really love.”

“You know I love everything you give me,” Justin responded archly, “No matter where it came from. If it comes from you, I love it.”

“You’re still laughing Twink,” Brian accused him. “Harder than ever, I think.”

“Brian Kinney,” Justin told him, running his hand through the big guy’s hair this time. “If I’m laughing at all, it’s because I’m so happy and I’m so happy because I’ve got everything I want in the world – and I didn’t get it at the dollar store either. I got it under a lamppost outside of Babylon. But I got it and it’s all I want and all I need.”

That brought the conversation to an abrupt and rather lengthy halt. The guys just sat cuddling for a time as the flames jumped back and forth in the fake fireplace.

Surprisingly though, the conversation did resume, and, also surprisingly, it was Brian who resumed it.

“Those cleaning products were a real bargain too,” Brian recalled. “They will help out the housekeeper when she comes and we can use them too in between.”

“You know what, Brian,” Justin commented. “It might be better if you let me use all the housecleaning products. I have more experience. I’m afraid you might spray the stuff into your eyes instead of on the counters. Is it OK if just I use the cleaning products, Bri? I’d feel better if you go along with me on this.”

“Well OK, Baby” Brian agreed. “I may as well do this your way. If I don’t you’ll just try to trick me into doing it your way anyhow. I’ll just save you the trouble. You can use all the cleaning products yourself. I’ll stay away from them completely if that’s the way you want it.”

“Thanks, Brian,” Justin kissed him. “I’ll feel a lot better about that.”

“Yeah,” Brian had a look of triumph in his eyes, “But I’m sticking with my victories too. I’m going to keep going with you when you go to the dollar store - to make sure you don’t buy too much crazy stuff.”

“Suits me, Brian,” Justin acquiesced meekly. “You’re such a good influence. If you’re there, I probably won’t buy anything at all. I’ll make that sacrifice because I just want you to be happy.”

Brian gave Justin a heavy squeeze. They were both laughing on the inside – both very happy with what they had, not all of which had come from the dollar store.

A little while later, Brian unexpectedly returned to the subject.. “You know what, Baby,” he told the kid. “Maybe it was me who tricked you into taking me to the dollar store. What do you think of that?”

“You could very well be right, Bri,” Justin responded. “I’m not as clever as you are. I never know a trick when I see it. Never.”


	191. Chapter 191 - As Old As You Feel

Brian was scowling as the pair placed themselves on the floor facing the fake fireplace. Justin may have been stifling a smile but he was doing a good job of it. This was not the time to smile. Not at all.

“If you didn’t do it, who did?” Brian began the evening’s conversation.

“OK, Brian,” Justin told him. “You may just as well put your arm around me now. You won’t be able to sit here all night without doing it, so do it now.”

“Well I’m doing it under protest,” Brian announced as he complied. “That was a really dirty trick.”

“Brian, Honey,” Justin cajoled. “I didn’t do it. Actually, I don’t think anybody did it. I don’t think anybody could do it. You don’t recommend somebody for AARP membership. Somehow they just know when you turn fifty, and they invite you to join.”

“But I’m not fifty, Baby,” Brian responded, “As you well know, so why did I get an invitation. It has to be some kind of a trick.”

“Well I don’t think so but even if it is a trick,” Justin insisted. “I didn’t do it. You ought to know I wouldn’t do anything like that. I know how vain you are, for sure, and I would also know I was going to get blamed.”

“Who else would hate me enough to do it then?” Brian wondered.

“I think you know I don’t hate you, Brian,” Justin assured him, “So you ought to know it wasn’t me. I should be mad that you’d even think I would do something like that. But I’m not mad at all, Honey, and I know deep down that you’re not mad either.”

”Like hell I’m not mad,” Brian told the kid, “But I’m not mad at you. I don’t guess you’d be mean enough to do anything like that.”

Justin cuddled himself up closer to Brian and the discussion had a brief hiatus. One would think Justin would be glad to let the matter drop at that point but, in fact, he didn’t.

“You know what, Bri,” the kid resumed the subject. “Maybe you should join. We’d get some neat discounts on a whole lot of things.”

Brian’s humor must have improved by this point. “And so you think I could pass for fifty?” Brian laughingly accused Justin. “That’s about as bad as putting my name up for membership, Twink.”

“We could figure something out, Bri,” Justin maintained. “You’d be a young looking fifty but I bet we could figure something out.”

“Maybe we could at that,” Brian laughed. “Didn’t you pass for fifty when you got into Babylon that first time to stalk me? You were using Vic’s membership as I recall. Maybe you should be the one joining AARP. We’d still get those neat discounts if you were the member.”

“I don’t think I could pass for fifty, Bri,” Justin laughed back at him. “That guy at the door knew I wasn’t Vic. I think he just let me in cause I was cute.”

“Yeah, you were cute back then, Baby,” Brian remembered. “When you were still young. But I figure the gate-guy just let you in because he didn’t like me and he could see you were a Brian Kinney-stalker.”

It was Justin’s turn to scowl now, but good-naturedly. “Gee, Brian Kinney, the stalked one,” he said, “Now you’re picking on me and I didn’t do anything to deserve it either. It’s not my fault you got invited to join AARP.”

The ringing of Brian’s cell phone may have prevented further argument at this point. Justin figured out that the caller was Mikey and he also figured out what the call was about. Brian was laughing when he ended the call.

“Mikey got invited to join AARP too?” Justin concluded.

“Yeah,” Brian confirmed, “And Mikey’s not too happy about it either.”  
  
”But you’re laughing, Sweetheart,” Justin wondered. “How come it’s funny when Mikey gets invited to join AARP and a dirty trick when you get invited?”

“Mikey’s older than me,” Brian grinned. “So he ought to get invited before me.”

“He’s not that much older than you though,” Justin maintained. “AARP must have got some list both you guys were on and somehow or other got the idea you were fifty.”

“Well we’re not so we’re not joining,” Brian informed him. “I’m not going to join even when I do get to be fifty. You’re only as old as you feel and I’m never going to feel fifty so I’m never going to join.”

“We have some time between now and when you’re fifty to discuss that,” Justin decided. “If we wait till I’m fifty to get all those neat discounts, that will be a really long time.”

“You’re right, Baby,” Brian agreed, “And after another sixteen years or so with you, I very well may feel like I’m fifty. So we can talk about this again in about fifteen years.”

“At which time I guess I’ll get the blame because you’re fifty,” Justin groused.

“Yeah, you will,” Brian replied. “And it will be your fault too. I would never have made it to fifty if you hadn’t come along.”

“Gee whiz, Bri,” Justin told him. “That’s a really romantic thing to say. Aren’t you glad now I made you put your arm around me?”

“Yeah, like I wasn’t going to anyhow,” Brian answered him. “But it’s OK with me if you want to take the credit. It was a good idea.”

And so the discussion came to another halt at this point as the guys explored some other opportunities. But it wasn’t over.

“Bri,” Justin asked later. “Don’t you think I’m cute?”

“That’s a dumb question, Baby,” Brian responded.

“Well you did say I was cute back when I was young,” Justin remembered. “Which kind of implied I wasn’t cute any more.”

“You’re still cute, Kiddo,” Brian assured him. “You’re as young as you feel and you’re as cute as you feel, and I’m pretty sure you still feel cute, and you should too. Yeah, you’re still cute”

“Is that supposed to be romantic?” Justin asked the big guy.

“Baby, “ Brian smiled at him. “Everything I say to you is supposed to be romantic.”

“Even when you’re accusing me of sending you an invitation to join AARP?” Justin wanted to know.

“Even then,” Brian reassured him. “Even then.”

“Gee, Brian,” Justin told him. “I’m gonna remember that forever. And we’re gonna have a lot of good times together before you’re fifty. We’re gonna have so much fun that the time will really fly by. You’ll be fifty in no time.”

“Even then,” Brian told him.


	192. Chapter 192 - Turning the Tables

Justin seemed a little nervous as the guys were positioning themselves in front of their fake fireplace. The conversation did not begin immediately and Brian sensed that Justin had something to say to him. He did.

“Do you love me Brian?” Justin asked.

“You know something, Baby,” Brian smiled at him. “What you just said is in the form of a question, but I suspect somehow it is not a question at all. What I think it is actually, is a reminder that I do love you. Now why would you want to remind me that I love you? That is a real question but I’m going to answer it myself. You are about to tell me something I won’t want to hear, and you want me to be remembering that I love you when I get the news. Now here’s a question you can answer. Am I wrong?”

“You always suspect me of being devious, Brian,” Justin groused. “I’m not always devious either, but you always act like I am.”

“No, Kiddo,” Brian laughed. “You are not always devious. You are sometimes a little devious however, and maybe often a little devious. Tell you what I’ll do though. If you can go two months without being devious even once, I promise to quit suspecting you of being devious.”

“You drive a hard bargain, Kinney,” Justin laughed back at him. “Let me think about that for a while.”

“OK,” Brian agreed. “But while you’re thinking, maybe you want to answer the question I asked: Am I wrong? Don’t you have something you want to tell me?”

“Yeah, I do,” Justin took the offensive, “And you might get mad about it too, but you have no right to get mad about it because I made a decision and it was my decision to make and if you had known about it, you would have made me do what you thought was best.”

“OK, again,” Brian told him. “Go ahead. Surprise me and I’ll try not to get mad. Then maybe I’ll surprise you to turn the tables just a little bit. You first.”

“Brian,” Justin began tentatively. “The last couple of Labor Days you surprised me with some great trips and we really had a good time. When Linz and Mel postponed their garden party to the Sunday after Labor Day again this year, I figured you were going to do it again. Not that you have to or that I was expecting it or anything. I just thought maybe….”

Brian squeezed the kid slightly which gave Justin a bit more confidence. “Maybe I was,” Brian said, “But keep going.”

“All right,” Justin replied, seemingly resigned to telling all. “Well then, this art exhibit came up. It’s in Chicago over Labor Day and I got invited to participate. But the artist has to be present. Professor Green wanted me to go but I said I wouldn’t. I want to go where you want to go on Labor Day or stay home with you on Labor Day, or whatever, but I said ‘No.’ and it’s too late for you to make me go because yesterday was the deadline for accepting. That’s why I waited to tell you till now.”

“But you are telling me now?” Brian replied. “Why? You could have kept it a secret and I would have never known.”

“Linz knows,” Justin told him. “Green called her and tried to get her to talk me into going – and she did try. But she promised not to tell you; then somehow Gus found out and he promised not to tell you either but somehow word got out and….”

“And just like always, everybody knows but Kinney,” Brian was still laughing which Justin took as a good sign. “Everybody knows everything but, not to worry, nobody will ever tell Brian anything.”

“Yeah, but Brian is smart,” Justin admitted, “And he finds stuff out and then he’s mad because I didn’t tell him. So I thought I better tell him, and let him yell, and get it over with.”

“What’s the use of yelling now?” Brian seemed to give up. “You’re an adult and you’re entitled to make your own decisions, no matter how dumb they are. No point in yelling now.”

“I can see BK has a new plan,” Justin smiled. “Quit yelling and try the old guilt trip response. You can try it but I don’t think it’s gonna work any better than yelling.”

“Probably not,” Brian agreed. “But I have to try everything I can in my mad desire to make all your decisions for you.”

“Cut it out, Bri,” Justin demanded, and Brian did cut it out, ushering in a quiet period with the guys cuddled together. Justin was pleased with the outcome and Brian did not seem overly displeased.

It was a fairly long while before Justin restarted the conversation. “Hey, Brian,” he wondered. “Didn’t you say you maybe had a surprise for me too? I bet we’re going somewhere for Labor Day.”

“Yep,” Brian replied. “How does Toronto sound to you? Big gay neighborhood, and they’re filming some TV stuff up there too. We might get to see some filming.”

“Can’t see why anybody would want to watch some dumb TV program filming,” Justin said. “But I think Toronto seems great. I always love going places you pick out. It’s always a lot of fun.”

“Yeah?” Brian replied.

“Absolutely,” Justin enthused. “You are the best place-picker in the world.”

“I’m glad you said that,” Brian grinned. “Maybe we’ll go to Toronto next year. This year it’s Chicago.”

“Chicago?” Justin stuttered. “You can’t take me to Chicago. I didn’t accept the invitation. You want to torture me by taking me to Chicago. That would be pretty mean, Brian.”

“Well, I’m a mean man,” Brian answered. “Don’t you often say that? You know I am a mean man. But maybe not as mean as you think. Actually, you did accept the invitation.”

“No, I didn’t. I didn’t sign the form, Bri,” Justin insisted. “And how did you know about the offer anyhow? I think you’re pretty devious yourself, Kinney. And which one of my fink so-called friends told you?”

“None of them,” Brian countered. “Those fink friends of yours might pull that crap on me but never on you. I heard about it from Dean Armstrong. He didn’t promise not to tell me and he’s a friend of mine, you know. But even he might not have told me if he didn’t think I already knew. He figured you had discussed it with me. He doesn’t know how devious you can be. Don’t worry, I didn’t tell him.”

“And you forged my signature on the acceptance?” Justin wondered.

“Nope, I would have though, but I had this meeting with your friends and I gave them hell for not telling me. Everybody tried copying your signature and I think it was Hunter who had the best one. Mel said it wasn’t really forgery if there was no real intent to deceive.”

“But there was a real attempt to deceive, Bri,” Justin maintained, “And you did deceive me. You could all end up in jail.”

“Nah,” Brian told him. “Melanie can get us off.”  
  
”I think there are a lot of guys in jail who thought that too,” Justin laughed. “I love you Bri. Now can I ask you one question though: Are you ever gonna let me make a mistake?”

“Not if I can help it,” Brian countered. “I guess picking me was the last mistake you’ll ever make.”  
  
”Mistake, huh?” Justin mused. “I’m gonna have to get more devious, I guess. If that was a mistake, I got to make some more.”

Brian smiled but didn’t respond. The discussion was over for the evening.


	193. Chapter 193 - Devio(u)sity

Brian was seated in front of the crackling artificial fireplace. He was listening to the crackle and not watching the flickering flames because he had his eyes closed. He was waiting for Justin to join him. He didn’t know how long he was sitting there when he felt the kid nestling up beside him.

“Aren’t you glad we went to Chicago last weekend,” He asked the kid.

“Yeah,” Justin admitted. “I think the exhibit did me a lot of good – career-wise.”

“Well we wouldn’t have gone if I hadn’t accidently found out about it, Twink,” Brian recalled. “You and your deviosity.”

“That’s a funny word, Bri,” Justin smiled. “I think you made it up. I’d challenge you if we were playing Scrabble but I’ll let it go now under the circumstances.”

“D-E-V-I-O-S-I-T-Y” Brian spelled out. “Sounds like a good word to me. Describes a lot of your behavior too.”

“Wouldn’t it have to be spelled ‘D-E-V-I-O-U-S-I-T-Y’, with a ‘U’ if it was a word, which it isn’t?” Justin argued. “But I guess I’ll have to spell it your way. We need to do things your way.”

That answer bothered Brian a little but he chose to ignore it. “Well whatever,” Brian decided. “However it’s spelled, I don’t see why you just can’t tell me everything so we can talk about it. You might have missed that opportunity in Chicago and I don’t want you to miss any opportunities.”

“That’s just it, Bri,” Justin told him. “You always make me do what you want me to do. You never let me make up my own mind. I always have to do what you want me to do. That’s why I have to be devious – so I can do what I want to do sometimes. You’re right most of the time but I never get to do what I want.”

“You think I always make you do what I want you to do?” Brian echoed. :Really?”

“Yeah but it’s OK, Brian,” Justin replied. “Most of the time I don’t mind.”

It took Brian a few moments to process that reply. He didn’t know exactly how to respond. But he didn’t have to. What sounded like an explosion to Brian rocked the loft.

But it wasn’t an explosion at all. It was Justin entering the loft.

“I’m home, Bri,” he called. “I’m sorry I was delayed but I’m still here fifteen minutes before I said I’d be home. Brian you look like I woke you up. Were you sleeping?”

“I must have been,” Brian told him as Justin slipped down onto the floor, planting a kiss on Brian’s cheek while settling into Brian’s unready arms.

“Well I hope you were dreaming about me, “ Justin told him. “I bet you were. What were you dreaming about us doing? I’d like to know.”

“I don’t think I remember,” Brian lied.

“Bet you do and I was winning some battle,” Justin gibed. “You wouldn’t want to admit that so I guess I’ll never know. Talk about being devious.”

“What made you bring up devious, Baby?” Brian wanted to know.

“It was a joke, Honey,” Justin responded. “You’re always accusing me of being devious and I thought I’d call you devious too. It was a joke. Is something the matter, Brian?”

“Are you glad we ended up in Chicago last week end?” Brian answered with a question of his own.

“Of course I’m glad,” Justin said. “I’m sure I made some good contacts there. It was wrong of me not to tell you about the Chicago exhibition. I wouldn’t have wanted to go without you but I should have told you about it. I’m sorry about that.”

“You don’t think I always make you do what I want you to do?” Brian quizzed. “I don’t want to do that and I don’t want you to think I do that either.”

“Gee whiz, Bri,” Justin seemed puzzled. “What’s going on? Of course I don’t think that at all. Sometimes I feel a little guilty myself because I think you always do what I want to do and not what you want.”

“Just a little guilty though, I guess,” Brian had to smile, “And you seem to recover pretty quickly.”

“Yeah,” Justin smiled back. “Guilt doesn’t suit my personality very well. I’m kind of self-centered, you know.”

“No you aren’t,” Brian disagreed laughingly. “You might seem like that sometimes but you are a very generous guy. You’re always trying to help somebody, no matter how hard it is on me.”

“Brian, I’m not getting what’s going on here,” Justin informed him. “You are being devious somehow or other. What’s going on?”

“OK,” Brian replied. “I wonder why you are ever devious with me at all,” Brian came out with it. “Couldn’t you just tell me everything and we could talk about it? Do you have some reason for being devious?”

“Do I have to tell?” Justin wanted to know.

“If you don’t want to be accused of being devious, Baby,” Brian told him, “I think you do.”

“Brian,” Justin told him. “You are the greatest guy in the world and I love you as much as humanly possible, but sometimes I think you do things that you don’t want to do, except that they’re good for me. You would do anything if it was good for me. You would give up anything for yourself if it was good for me. I know it and you know it too, don’t you?”

“I don’t think I’d put it exactly that way,” Brian told him.

“No, you wouldn’t,” Justin told him. “That’s how you are. Well sometimes I want to do things that you want to do just because you want to do them, things that are neat for you, and I don’t want you worrying about what’s the best thing for me and my career and all that stuff. If you promise not to insist that we always do what’s good for me, I’ll quit being devious. Will you promise that?”

“I don’t think so,” Brian stammered.

“Then deviousity is going to remain part of our relationship,” Justin informed him, “I just made up that word, D-E-V-I-O-U-S-I-T-Y, I made up that word. Neat, huh?”

Brian shuddered just a little at that but kept up the conversation. “But it never works no matter how you spell it, but actually I don’t think it needs the ‘u’.” Brian started to say. “You never get away with being devious.”

“Oh yeah it works,” Justin informed him. “You just only know when it doesn’t. You don’t know when it does. And I think deviousity needs the ‘u’ too.”

“OK, Twink,” Brian gave in, “You win. Stick to your deviosity if you have to. I don’t think there should be a ‘u’ in deviosity though, even if you did make it up. But we can agree to spell it differently or maybe just not spell it at all. That is a good solution if it’s all right with you. But you win. I give up Be devious if you have to.”

“Hey, Brian, I don’t think I know what I won, or how I won, and I’m not even sure I’m glad I won this time, even if I did,” Justin mused. “This whole conversation has been strange and I’m still pretty mixed up. I think maybe I’m sorry I woke you up.”

“Oh no, Baby,” Brian assured him with a loving squeeze that Justin interpreted correctly, “Don’t be sorry about that.”


	194. Chapter 194 - Cross Words

The fireplace was lit. Brian was already seated on the floor vacantly staring at the flickering flames. It was a few minutes before the kid joined him. Brian was not surprised when his attempt to circle the twink with his arm was repulsed.

“I am really mad at you, Brian,” Justin announced.

“It won’t last,” Brian suggested in reply.

“Of course it won’t last,” Justin agreed coldly, “You know I love you and it won’t last. But that’s no reason for you not to be concerned. You’re supposed to be concerned when I’m mad at you.”

“I am concerned, Baby,” Brian assured him. “I am really truly concerned, but then I know there is really nothing I can do when you’re mad at me. You know there isn’t anything I can do.”

“You could apologize,” Justin told him. “You could be sorry.”

“I did apologize,” Brian reminded him. “I thought I already did apologize.”  
  
”But you weren’t sorry, Brian,” Justin came back. “You weren’t sorry then and you aren’t sorry now. In fact, you think the whole thing is funny – ruining my day like you did.”

“The day isn’t over yet,” Brian smiled, successfully getting his arm around the kid this time. “There may be something I can still do to keep your day from being ruined.”

“Well you could try,” Justin admitted, smiling back just a little at the big guy, “But it’s going to be a hard job. If anybody could do it though, it would be you.”

“I’m gonna try, Baby,” Brian assured him. “I’m really gonna try.”

A period of silence ensued, during which Brian did try, with some success too, but not enough to bring an end to the discussion.

“Are you ever going to tell me why you did it?” Justin asked eventually with no semblance of any remaining anger. “You don’t even like crossword puzzles.”

“No, I don’t really,” Brian conceded. “At least not all that much. I just got back early and you weren’t here. I saw this puzzle half done and so I finished it. Baby, you always start the New York Times Sunday crossword puzzle and I don’t know that you’ve ever finished one. I just figured that you had given up on it.”

“Brian, I’m not one to be giving up on anything,” Justin corrected him. “I never give up on the puzzles. It’s just that sometimes I quit working on them before they’re finished.”

“I’m glad you explained that to me,” Brian laughed. “A really subtle distinction. Here I thought you just gave up on the puzzles.”

“Never,” Justin reassured him. “But it’s just that I was sure I was going to get this one done for a change. You were supposed to be at the office all day and I had plenty of time. So when I was half finished, I decided to go over and see Malcolm for a while and then come back and finish the puzzle so I’d be sure I was here when you got home. I missed you.”

“And I missed you too, Baby,” Brian replied, “Which is why I hurried through the stuff at the office and got back here early – and no Justin. But there was this crossword puzzle lying there, so I finished it. It was all innocent, Kiddo, and just because I was missing you.”

“I’m going to believe that crap. Kinney, because I want it to be true,” Justin laughed, “But I don’t want you to think I can be fooled that easily. I know how you are.”

“Yeah you do,” Brian admitted. “But am I helping at all to save your ruined day?”

“I think so,” Justin said back, “But there’s a lot more to be done on that score, I think.”  
  
”I’ll keep working on it then,” Brian told him.

“I wish you would,” Justin replied, putting his head down onto Brian’s shoulder. It seemed that the cross words on the crossword were over, but it was not so.

“ I guess I ought to tell you, Bri,” Justin returned to the subject after a while, “You had a couple of wrong words in the part of the puzzle that you did. I was fixing them and that’s why I was late sitting down here with you. Maybe I shouldn’t be telling you that?”

“Not at all, Sweetheart. I’m glad you told me,” Brian came back. “Actually I put a couple of wrongies in there so that you could have the pleasure of fixing them, but I wasn’t sure you had. I guess you also noticed that I had corrected a few things you had wrong in the top part of the puzzle.”

“You are absolutely impossible, Brian Kinney,” Justin laughed at him. “Impossible.”

“Do you want me to try to be more possible?” Brian wanted to know. “I could try that if you want me to.”

“Of course I don’t want you to,” Justin informed him. “I love you just the way you are.”

“And I love you just the way you are too,” Brian replied, “Even when you’re mad at me.”

“Well I’m not mad at you now, Honey,” Justin told him. “And I’ll probably never ever get mad at you again.”

“Probably not,” Brian grinned as he pulled the kid closer to him.

It was Brian who broke the ensuing silence eventually. “You know what, Baby,” he said to the kid. “I’m going to buy you one of those books of Times Sunday puzzles. Then you can do them at your leisure. I’ll bet you get them all worked.”

“And I’ll bet you’re doing that so that I’ll have something else to do and not be bothering you all the time,” Justin faked a complaint.

“Nope,” Brian responded. “I don’t mind you bothering me all the time. I might even like you bothering me all the time.”

“And you’re not afraid that I’ll get too busy with the puzzles to want to bother you?” Justin smiled at him archly.

“Nope,” Brian replied diffidently, “I figure I can compete well enough with any old book of crossword puzzles – if I want to.”

“Oh you’ll want to,” Justin stated confidently as he wrapped his arms around Brian’s neck. “But will you also want to help me with the puzzles if I ever need help?”

 

“Whatever you need,” Brian assured him, “And whenever you need it.”

Justin decided that his day was not ruined after all.


	195. Chapter 195 - Isn't It Romantic

Flames were flying in the fake fireplace as the guys settled themselves into their usual position on the floor. Justin had a pensive look on his face and Brian had the beginning of a smile on his. He put his arm around his favorite twink and began the conversation.

“You have that look on your face,” he told the kid.

“What look?” Justin wondered.

“The ‘I want to tell Brian something I don’t think he wants to hear’ look,” Brian answered. “Or maybe it’s the ‘I want Brian to do something I don’t think he wants to do’ look. They’re pretty close so I sometimes get them mixed up. But I’m pretty sure I’m right. I don’t know why you ever have that look either. You ought to know I always want to know anything you want to tell me, and I just about always do what you want me to do.”

”I’m not sure you always act like you want to hear everything I want to tell you, Bri, or do what I want either,” Justin smiled at him. “But it just so happens that you’re a little bit right this time. And don’t you dare laugh at me, Kinney. I want us to do something really romantic. I’m not sure what though.”

“Is that all?” Brian seemed surprised. “I think we can manage that all right. I even have an idea, Baby. They’re having a John Wayne film festival at those new theaters on the South Side. I don’t know which ones are playing tonight but all John Wayne pictures are really romantic. Say the word and we’re on our way.”

“Not if I say the word I’m thinking of saying,” Justin replied, his smile turning into a laugh. “I almost wish now you had laughed at me.” 

“Well I tried, Sweetheart,” Brian laughed back at him, “It was just a suggestion though. But if there’s some other romantic thing you have on your mind, I guess I’d like to hear what it is.”

“That John Wayne film festival would be very romantic, I’m sure, Bri,” Justin concluded. “But actually I did have something else in mind. I thought maybe we could talk about how we fell in love.”

“Would that make for a very long discussion?” Brian wanted to know. “You fell in love with me the first time you ever saw me, and I fell in love with you right after you told me I was in love with you. What more is there to say?”

“OK, Kinney, you win,” Justin seemed to give up. “You’re just not very romantic. I guess I’ll have to get used to being in love with a guy who is just not romantic.”

“But I do love you, Twink,” Brian protested, “And you know that. And I think I’m kinda romantic too. I don’t think you appreciate how romantic I can be. Yeah, I am romantic. You just won’t give me any credit but I am romantic. Brian Kinney is a very romantic guy. That’s what I think.” 

“OK, OK,” Justin laughed. “I surrender. Brian Kinney is the most romantic guy in the world. It’s just that he’s the only one who knows it cause he never lets it show.”

“OK, yourself, Mr. Romance,” Brian came back at him. “You never surrender so I know you have another way to get to your agenda. So go ahead. Be romantic. Tell me how you fell in love with me.”

“You know already because I’ve told you a lot of times,” Justin responded with a smile, “But I’m always glad to tell you again. I was standing under this lamppost outside of Babylon. I wasn’t sure I was brave enough to go in. I probably wasn’t. And then this guy came out. He was the most beautiful man I had ever seen. Maybe the most the beautiful guy in the world. I could hardly breathe. Then he looked over at me and I couldn’t breathe at all for a minute. Then he came over and started to talk to me. I could hardly hear what he was saying but I thought he was asking me to go with him. That’s what I wanted to do – be with him forever - but I tried to play it cool. I knew he was the guy I was looking for – the guy I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. The guy I was in love with for ever and ever.”

“Geez,” Brian responded. “That guy could have been an axe murderer. You’re lucky I came out right after that and saved you. If I hadn’t been there, you might have gone with that guy and who knows where you’d be now.”

“Dammit, Kinney,” Justin had to laugh. “You may be romantic but you sure do conceal it well. I really do give up. Justin Taylor surrenders. He’s got love but he’s not going to get romance, and that’s that. I’ll bet you do know when you fell in love with me, but I’m not ever going to know. I still love you anyhow, Brian. “

“You know what, Baby,” Brian cuddled the kid closer. “I’m not sure when I fell in love with you. I’d tell you if I knew. I thought you were just another trick when I first saw you outside Babylon, right after the axe murderer had left because he figured you couldn’t hear or speak, but I knew there was something different about you before the night was over. I was scared about that.”

“So you tried to get rid of me because you thought I was special,” Justin remembered. “You were in love with me that first night.”

“Maybe,” Brian told him. “But I didn’t know what love was then so how could I know I was in love? I did know that being around you made me feel different, and that scared me. That’s why I tried to get rid of you. I tried to get rid of you because I didn’t want to get rid of you. Now I’m sounding crazy, like Justin Taylor, I guess.”

“You’re not getting any sympathy here,” Justin replied. “I happen to think Justin Taylor is a very sensitive and sensible human being. And romantic too. I think it’s OK to sound like Justin Taylor.”

“I’m not surprised,” Brian pointed out. “But maybe I was in love with you then. I wanted to do things for you and protect you. It must have been love even then.”

“Brian,” Justin reasoned. “You always had that hard-boiled attitude. You had to act like you didn’t care about anybody or anything. But that wasn’t the real you, Bri. You were always there when your friends needed you, long before I came along. So those feelings for me weren’t all that much different from what you felt for your other friends. You always wanted to help anybody who needed you – and you always did.”

“No, Baby,” Brian recalled. “It was different with you. When I did things for my friends, I was doing it for them. When I did things for you, I was doing it for me. I did things for them because it made them feel good. I did things for you because it made me feel good. Is that love, Kiddo? Maybe it is. You’re the expert.”

“I’m not the expert,” Justin told him, maybe wiping a tear from the corner of his eye. “I’m not the expert at all. I told you that you aren’t romantic. I was wrong and you were right. You are romantic. You may be the most romantic guy in the world. I’d love you anyhow, but you are still the most romantic guy in the world.”

Justin burrowed his head into Brian’s cheek and brought the discussion to a halt. He had got more that evening than he had bargained for. It was quite a while before the discussion resumed.

“I am really surprised at how romantic you are, Brian,” Justin said. “I love you. Say something else romantic, while you’re in the romantic mood.”

“Maybe we’ve had enough romance for the night, Sweetheart,” Brian reasoned. “Don’t you think maybe we’ve had enough romance for one night?”

“C’mon, Bri,” Justin insisted. “There’s no such thing as too much romance. You always tell me you do everything I want you to do. I want you to say something romantic.”

Brian moved in and kissed the kid. “Do you think,” he wondered, “That maybe we could go to the John Wayne festival tomorrow night?”


	196. Chapter 196 - Strange Music

The fireplace was lit and the fake flames were flitting to and fro in the darkened loft. The guys were settling into their usual spots. Brian seemed to have a frown, maybe a fake, on his face as he opened up the discussion.

“Ethan’s going to play about ten notes by himself and you want me to go to the whole symphony just to hear them,” he growled. “Every time Ethan plays a couple of notes by himself we have to go. Couldn’t he just stop here on his way and play those ten notes for us. We could applaud right here and save ourselves a trip?”

“Cut it out, Brian,” Justin laughed at him. “It’s a big thing for Ethan. I would like you to go with me to the symphony. That’s why I asked you, but if you don’t want to go, don’t go. I can go myself, but since I would do anything for you because I love you so much, I’ll even stay home too if that’s what you want.”

It was Brian’s turn to laugh. “Not a chance, Honey,” he told the kid. “You don’t want to go either but you still want to act like a martyr. If I stay home, I do want you to go, even if I have to suffer an extra three hours without your company. I’ll be glad to do that because I love you so much and I know how very much you want to hear Ethan play his big solo.”

“Brian,” Justin tried to sound reasonable. “You like the symphony and I bet you really do want to go. Why are you trying to make me feel guilty? Sometimes you’re just mean, Mr. Kinney. But you will go, won’t you?”

“Yeah, I’ll go,” Brian replied, “And we’ll take Ethan and Tom up to a late dinner at Gino’s afterwards too, if they’re free. But you are right, Baby, I am mean sometimes. I just can’t seem to control myself but I’m working on it.”

“That’s OK, Bri,” Justin purred. “I love you even if you are mean sometimes.”

“And I really appreciate that,” Brian purred back as he snuggled the kid closer to him.

It was more than a little while before the conversation resumed, on the same topic though. “What the hell is Ethan playing anyhow?” Brian asked. “Chopin’s violin concerto?”

“Chopin didn’t write a violin concerto, Brian,” Justin informed him. “He didn’t write a symphony either.”

“Geez,” Brian responded. “We have something to look forward to then. Maybe it’s not too late. I can’t wait to hear Chopin’s first symphony. That I’ll really want to hear.”

“Well if you’re that eager,” Justin countered, “Maybe we should go to every symphony performance just to make sure we don’t miss it?”

“It might be just as easy if we asked Ethan to alert us when it gets on the schedule,” Brian countered back. “You always like to do things the hard way but I think my idea’s better this time.”

“As always, Brian,” Justin acquiesced, “Your slightest wish is my command.” They both laughed.

“You know, Bri,” Justin continued. “The love of Chopin’s life was named George. But George Sand was really a woman.”

“Operating under false pretenses, I guess,” Brian commented. “Poor Chopin. You’d think he would have figured that out though.”

“Oh, I think he knew, all right,” Justin agreed. “But I think he wasn’t all that disappointed.”

“Takes all kinds to make a world,” Brian opined.

After another short period, Brian wondered: “You know, Kiddo, this is the first time we’ve been to the symphony this year. They may have hired some new hot guys. I think I’ll take binoculars along to check them out.”

“You might look a little silly with binoculars, Bri,” Justin warned him. “The seats are in the third row.”

“Well then I’ll take them along,” Brian decided, “But I won’t use them unless I need to. I wouldn’t want Justin the concert-lover to be embarrassed.”

“You really are mean, Brian Kinney,” Justin grinned at him.

“Like I said, Baby,” Brian responded. “Sometimes I can’t control myself.”

After another briefer pause, Justin took the offensive. “You know, Bri,” he alerted the big guy, “Maybe in about twenty years or so, our Gus will be playing with the symphony. Then we will have to attend every program. That will be really neat, won’t it?”

“And you know what, Sweetheart?” Brian came back. “I think I’m going to go out tomorrow and buy Gus a baseball glove.”

“Whatever you say,” Justin answered, “But the symphony only plays about twenty-four programs a year and they only take a couple of hours each. The Pirates play eighty some home games every season and they last about four hours apiece. But whatever you think you want to do ….”

“Maybe a football would be better than a baseball mitt,” Brian reconsidered. “I think the Steelers only play eight home games in a season.”

“Yeah,” Justin replied, “But they play in some really cold weather. You’re not crazy about cold weather, Brian. You might freeze.”

“But I’ll have you there with me,” Brian reasoned. “I’ll just pull you over onto my lap and use you for a blanket. I’ll bet you could keep me warm.”

“I think I could at that, Brian,” Justin thought out loud, “Maybe, I better come along with you tomorrow when we get Gus the football. I want to make sure he gets the very best and you’re not that good of a shopper. Gus will never become a great player without the very best equipment.”

“OK,” Brian agreed. “Then at least I won’t have to listen to you criticizing what I pick out. Good idea, Twink.”

“Gee whiz, Brian,” Justin complained. “You know very well that I never complain about anything. And anyhow, thanks for coming to the symphony with me. I love you, Brian.”

Justin ran his hand across Brian’s face and through his hair. “I love you,” he repeated.

“You know what, Baby, I’m cold,” Brian told the kid.

“It’s not cold in here, Bri,” Justin responded. “It’s actually a little on the warm side. I hope you’re not coming down with something.”

“I don’t think I’m coming down with something but I am cold,” Brian insisted, pulling Justin up onto his lap. “I think I need to use you for a blanket. And you know what else, I’m hearing music too. Maybe it’s Chopin’s first symphony. Yeah, that’s what it is. I’m sure. Can’t you hear it?”

“But it’s really not cold in here,” Justin maintained, “And there’s no music either. I think you must really be coming down with something.”

“You know, Kiddo,” Brian concluded, putting both arms around Justin and nuzzling the kid’s hair with his nose. “I told you that sometimes I just can’t control myself.”

“That’s OK, Brian,” Justin decided. “Sometimes you just have to let yourself go. And you know what else, I don’t think you’re coming down with anything after all. Could you please hold me a little tighter? I'm beginning to feel the chill myself."

Brian adjusted his grasp slightly as requested. "How's that, Baby?" He asked the kid.

"That's a lot better," Justin allowed, "And I gotta tell you something else too. Bri,. I think I can hear the music."


	197. Chapter 197 - Position Unwanted

It seemed like just another quiet night in the loft. The guys had positioned themselves in front of the fake fireplace and Brian had his arm around the kid. Justin was very comfortable. But that was not to last.

“That was a really nice present you gave me last week,” Brian told him. “And expensive too. And for no reason either. I want to confess that I thought you might have done something and were easing your conscience with that present. I guess I should apologize.”

“Can’t somebody buy a present for the guy they love without a reason?” Justin asked. “Couldn’t I just want to do something nice for you? It’s not like it was your money or anything. You know I have my own money. Gee whiz, Brian. You don’t have to apologize though. It’s not your fault if you’re naturally suspicious.”

“Well I’m sorry I was suspicious anyway,” Brian told him. He squeezed the kid and Justin seemed relieved that the subject had been dealt with.

A little later, Brian restarted the conversation. “You know, Baby, that D-Pop contract that I thought we were going to lose?” he said. “Well we did get a renewal and they were really enthusiastic about our final proposal. For a while, it seemed like they weren’t satisfied with anything we showed them.”

“That’s great, Brian,” Justin responded. “That was a pretty big account, I think. Maybe you should go out and get me a nice present to celebrate.”

“You know,” Brian seemed to agree. “Maybe I should. Yeah, I think maybe I should.”

The conversation died out again but Justin did show a degree of uncomfortability as they sat watching the fire.

Finally, it was the kid who broke the silence. “Brian, do you know something I don’t know? I think you’re trying to say something but you’re not saying it,” Justin wanted to know.

“I don’t know anything you don’t know, Baby,” Brian assured him, “But I might know something you don’t know I know.”

“Damn,” Justin responded. “I didn’t want to do it the way we did but I didn’t want to see Kinnetics lose that D-Pop contract so we had to. I don’t blame you if you’re mad though.”

“I’m not mad,” Brian said. “I’m not dumb enough to get mad when somebody gets me a seven-figure account. Even if that somebody is a secretive little twink that I happen to be in love with. Maybe I even owe you one.”

“If you owe me one,” Justin took the advantage that was offered. “How about telling me how you found out?”

“So you can be sneakier next time?” Brian wondered.

“Cut it out, Kinney,” Justin complained. “You know I’m not the least bit sneaky. But we thought we had everything pretty well covered. I can’t believe anyone would tell you.”

“Actually,” Brian began. “It’s your own fault for being so good at what you do. You know it was your visuals that sold our presentation. They weren’t satisfied with anything our art department did. I was pretty impressed myself and Cynthia told me we had brought in an outside consultant. She said she didn’t know who. Ted signs the checks so I talked to him. I made such a fuss about the visuals and told him we ought to get that consultant on the payroll somehow. He didn’t ‘remember’ who the consultant was either but I kept making such a fuss that Ted figured I knew it was you, so he admitted it. He didn’t think he was telling me anything I didn’t already know so he didn’t really squeal on you.”

“Did you know, Brian?” Justin asked with a coy smile on his face.

“Maybe I had an idea,” Brian smiled back at him. “Didn’t you say I was naturally suspicious? And I know your work too. I’ve seen a lot of it, you know. But I wasn’t sure. So your sneakiness was successful if that makes you happy. I didn’t catch you in the act or anything like that.”

“You almost did once though,” Justin reminded him. “Remember the time you came back to the office real early from some meeting that was supposed to take all afternoon. Cynthia told you I was visiting with Bob in the art department while I was waiting for you.”

“Yeah,” Brian remembered. “And my suspicious nature never kicked in. It should have. I guess there will be no more visiting in the art department though.”

“Like I make the same mistakes twice,” Justin laughed. “I did some of the work at school and some right here on the computer but I had to do some of it at the office. I’ll be much more careful next time.”  
  
”Next time?” Brian echoed. “There’s going to be a next time?”

“Brian, you don’t want me working at Kinnetics, and that’s OK,” Justin reasoned. “But I couldn’t stand by and let you guys lose that account when I had some ideas that I thought might work.”

“And they did work,” Brian admitted. “So I guess I was wrong. You’ve got a job at Kinnetics, Taylor. Full-time, part-time, consultant, anything you want. Good salary too. What do you say?”

“With you permission, Sir,” Justin responded. “ I will decline your generous offer. Not that I’m not available whenever you need me. I’d rather it was you who called on me though and not Bob, Ted and Cynthia. You’re the guy at Kinnetics that I love.”

“You don’t want a regular job with us?” Brian seemed surprised.

“Nope,” Justin explained. “I don’t want to work for you at the office. You’d be bossing me around all the time.”

“But you’re always complaining that I boss you around here too,” Brian wondered.

“Yeah, I complain about that,” Justin admitted, “But actually I kind of like it when you boss me around here. I think you know that.”

“Well then, why would you care if I bossed you around at the office?” Brian seemed puzzled.

“Gee whiz, Brian. That’s an easy one,” Justin responded. “You boss everybody around at the office. I’d be just like everybody else. I’m the only one you boss around here so that means I’m special.”

“You’re special, all right,” Brian laughed, “And just a little bit crazy too. You’re lucky you’re an artist. They’re supposed to be a little crazy. Not sensible like advertising people.”

“Right,” Justin agreed. “Bri, I didn’t want paid for the work I did on the D-Pop stuff. I just did it for you. Cynthia insisted and Ted said I had to get paid or you’d be suspicious about a consultant who worked for nothing. You know I didn’t do it for the money. I did it because I love the owner.”

“I know that, Baby,” Brian ran his fingers through the twink’s hair, “But you should have let them pay you what they wanted to pay you. If I had seen what the fee was before I knew the whole story, I would have been suspicious. It should have been at least three times as much as you took. And then you went out and spent a lot of the money you got on a present for me.”

“Because I wanted to, Bri,” Justin insisted. “Because I love you. No guilt involved. Just because I love you.”

The ensuing silence was longer than usual. But all good things come to an end. Justin finally returned to the subject. “I guess you’re gonna make me take the rest of the money I should have been paid for the work I did.”

“Nope,” Brian said. “I think I’ll take you out to dinner at Gino’s though.”

“That’ll be a lot cheaper than paying me what you said I was worth,” Justin joked.

“I’m not taking you out to pay you off at all, Twink,” Brian responded. “I’m taking you out because I love you.”

Justin snuggled up closer to Brian. It was one of those rarest of times. Justin was at a loss for words.


	198. Chapter 198 - It's History

The guys were settled down on the floor gazing at the flickering flames as they darted about the fake fireplace. Justin wasn't sure how to say what he was going to say. He decided to just say it.

"OK, Brian," he began. "I'm going to tell you something because I want you to know it. I am not trying to get you to do anything. I have no hidden agenda. I just want you to know. OK?"

"Of course it's OK," Brian answered. "Why would I ever think you might be trying to get me to do something - or have a hidden agenda?"

"I'm ignoring you, Kinney," Justin told him. "You are just trying to get me irritated and I'm not giving you the chance. I am just telling you this and that's that. Malcolm wants to go to Ft. Necessity and he wants me to go with him."

"Ft. Necessity," Brian seemed surprised. "That dumb old excuse for a fort down on Route 40 that George Washington built, like overnight, when he had to do that quick retreat from the French army. That Ft. Necessity?"

"That's the one," Justin confirmed. "Malcolm didn't grow up here so he didn't know about Ft. Necessity till he heard about this one-day tour the Historical Society is doing."

"And Malcolm just decided he had to see Ft. Necessity?" Brian didn't seem to get the point.

"Right on, Kinney," Justin affirmed. "There's this friend of Malcolm's named Hix. He's in playwriting out at Carnegie-Mellon and he's writing a play about young George Washington. Malcolm thinks it's going to be pretty good, and if Carnegie-Mellon doesn't put it on, Malcolm would like to. So he wants to see Ft. Necessity."

“He's going to be disappointed," Brian decided. "There's not much there. Have you ever been there yourself?"

"Gee whiz, Brian," Justin smiled. "There isn't a kid who went to grade school around here who hasn't been on that field trip. Yeah, I saw it – and I know it's not much. But there's going to be some big historian on the Historical Society bus and he's going to tell us all about it."

"And you think that pedagogue on the bus will know more about George Washington than Brian Kinney who wrote a paper about George in high school and used the same paper in college and got an 'A' both times?" Brian asked the kid.

"I am surprised and humbled," Justin replied. "I didn't know about your Washingtonian expertise. You never told me."

"I'm real good at history," Brian stated confidently.

"I never knew," Justin smiled at him.

"There are a lot of things you still don't know about me," Brian informed him. "And you're going to have to stick around fifty or sixty years if you want to find all of them out."

"If that's what it takes," Justin replied. "It'll be worth it, but can I ask now: 'Did you really use your high school paper on Washington in college and still get an 'A' on it?’"

"Well I added a few things to it in college. George Washington had done some more stuff after I wrote the high school paper so I put that in too," Brian told him.

"Cut it out, Bri," Justin protested. "You're putting me on. You'd have to be real old to have lived in Washington's time – like fifty or sixty – and if you knew him when he was young, you'd have to be like eighty. And you aren't a day over forty."

"No I'm not, Twink," Brian admitted, "But I'm gonna get there – yes, I am - no matter how hard you try to kill me off before I make it…. So what you're telling me is that you want to go to Ft. Necessity and you don't want me to come along."

"Oh my poor neglected Brian," Justin grinned. "You know that's not it at all. We'd love to have you come but I know you don't want to go and we're not going to push you. Of course, now that we know you're the outstanding expert on GW in this area…."

"So you do want me to go?" Brian conjectured.

"Of course we do – if you want to," Justin enthused, "But we wouldn't like you to give the Historical Society's guru on the bus a hard time."

"Well, I don't know if I can promise that," Brian thought out loud. "If he makes some egregious error, it would be real hard not to correct him. Maybe we should just drive down ourselves instead of taking the bus. It's only a little more than an hour's drive and I know some good places to eat along the way."

"Yeah," Justin responded. "That would work. And we'll have time to eat. We won't need to spend the whole day on history – especially with you along to answer any difficult questions we might have."

"One other thing, Bri," Justin continued. "Hix might want to come along too. We probably ought to ask him if he wants to come along with us. After all, he's writing the play. OK with you?"

"Will I like Hix?" Brian asked suspiciously. "Some of your friends are a bit hard to take sometimes."

"Well Hix is not exactly a friend of mine," Justin pointed out, "And I don't want to say too much about him so that you could complain incessantly afterwards, so I'll just say that you'll like Hix better than you like Rodney."

"I'd like Hitler better than I like Rodney," Brian told him. "Maybe we could get Mikey and Ben to go. I bet Hunter's coming."

"Nope," Justin said, "Hunter said that one trip to Ft. Necessity was way more that enough for him. Mikey said he'd go if the remnants of the cherry tree was still there but I told him the cherry tree was in Virginia somewhere and Mikey lost interest. I think it would be just you and me, Malcolm and Hix. Brian, you really don't need to come if you don't want to. I just didn't want to say 'No' to Malcolm and that's why I'm going."

"I'll bet this Hix guy is real hot and you're afraid to have me meet him," Brian decided. "That's why you don't really want me to go. So maybe I need to go."

"Yes, you do need to go," Justin agreed. "You absolutely do need to go. If you suspect that I'm trying to keep you and Hix apart for my own benefit. You need to come. You might have more confidence in me after you get a good look at Hix."

Brian looked self-satisfied so Justin went on: "Of course Hix will also get a look at you, Sweetheart. If Carnegie-Mellon does the play, they'll use their own dramats in all the parts – but if Malcolm does it at the Community Theater, they'll need a George Washington, won't they? And it would be neat if the actor knew a lot about George and was good in history…."

"Twink," Brian warned him, "If anything remotely like that ever happens, you might have to make a quicker retreat out of here than George Washington did. You better remember the way to Ft. Necessity."

"But I can't leave town, Bri," Justin reasoned. "I have to stay fifty or sixty years to learn all the things about you that I don't know."

"Damn," Brian agreed, "But yes, you do."

The conversation died out at this point but the guys just sat there, looking contented and staring at the flames.

"Finally, Justin broke the spell. "You know what, Brian," he told the big guy. "Sometimes I have a short attention span. I'm tired of talking about history. Do you suppose you and me could make some history now?"

"Yeah," Brian considered. "Maybe we could. I'm real good at history making too."

"That I already knew," Justin told him.


	199. Chapter 199 - Irreconcilable Differences

The fire blazed in the fake fireplace. The guys had just finished eating and they settled themselves on the floor in front of it. Brian was looking forward to a quiet uneventful evening with the twink. Maybe he should have known better.

Justin began the conversation. “Do you love me?” he asked Brian.

“Well, I did right up until just now,” Brian replied. “What the hell is this all about? You can have what you want or we’ll do what you want to do. How does that sound?”

“I guess you don’t want to answer my question, Bri,” Justin told him. “That scares me.”

“Baby,” Brian squeezed the kid a little closer. “What’s the story? How about some background.”

“I guess you already heard about Bill and Carlos breaking up,” Justin said. “They were together longer than we have been, and I thought they would last forever.”

“But this isn’t the first couple we know who broke up, Kiddo,” Brian reminded him. “Do we have to go through this every time somebody else we know breaks up? Yeah, I was surprised about Bill and Carlos. They always seemed to get along pretty well, but these things happen to everybody. You see all those movie stars who are all lovey-dovey one week and the next week they have ‘irreconcilable differences.’”

“That happens to everybody?” Justin sort of stammered.

“Wrong choice of words, Baby,” Brian reassured him. “Sorry. What I meant to say is that this kind of stuff happens in all communities – gay, straight and whatever else. I didn’t mean that it happens to everybody in any community. It’s not going to happen to us.”

“You’re sure it’s not going to happen to us?” Justin asked.

“Sure as I can be about anything,” Brian responded, “Provided I can convince you it’s not going to happen to us so you won’t keep bugging me about it forever.”

Brian was not sure he had convinced Justin but the silence that followed that particular exchange gave him hope – which lasted all of fifteen minutes or so.

“We do have differences sometimes, Brian,” Justin renewed the discussion, “But they’re never irreconcilable differences. Right?”  
  
”Nope,” Brian said, “They’re never irreconcilable as long as we do what you want.”

“Now that’s not fair at all, Brian Kinney,” Justin objected. “You’d be surprised at all the stuff I do just because you want to do it.”

“No differences there, Sweetheart,” Brian agreed. “I admit I would really be surprised at all the things you do just because I want to do them – if I knew what they were, that is.”

“You’re making fun of me now, Brian,” Justin complained, “And all I’m trying to do is make sure everything’s OK between us.”

“Well if I am making fun of you – and I’m admitting nothing of the sort,” Brian reasoned, “Then things are pretty much normal the way you see them, so what are you complaining about.”

“You’re just trying to avoid telling me you love me,” Justin groused. “That’s all I asked you in the first place.”  
  
”I love you, Baby,” Brian replied. “I love you. It’s not just words either. Don’t I always bring you a nice present every time I go to the dollar store?”

“Yeah,” Justin had to smile. “You do. Sometimes I forget that. I guess you do still love me”

“So this discussion is officially over, is it?” Brian conjectured. “I hope.”

“Well don’t you think we can learn something from them breaking up?” Justin wanted to know. “They seemed perfect for each other – and they worked together too.”

“Yeah they did,” Brian recounted. “And they’re not going to dissolve the law partnership either. They’re still going to work together. Their differences were all personal and not professional, I guess.”

“Wouldn’t that be hard?” Justin figured. “Working together every day after they’ve broken up.”

“Maybe,” Brian answered, “But I guess they think they can do it. At least they’re going to try.”

“I couldn’t do it,” Justin declared.

“And I don’t think you’ll ever have to either,” Brian smiled at him. “But you’re tough, JT. You could do whatever you had to do, I’ll bet.”  
  
”Well they’ll see a lot of each other, working together,” Justin thought out loud, “So maybe they’ll be able to get back together and solve their irreconcilable differences. Maybe working together is a good idea after all.”

“But I don’t think we could ever do that. I have no intention of taking up art, Baby,” Brian laughed, “No such talent, so that couldn’t happen and it’s not going to happen. And I don’t expect you’re going to move into advertising either, though you could if you ever decided that you wanted to, and you have really helped us out at Kinnetics a couple of times.”

“Yeah,” Justin had to agree,” “I think we’d be more likely to have irreconcilable differences at work than at home – because we’re both perfectionists at what we do at work.”

“We’re perfectionists here at home too, Baby,” Brian reminded him. “We just like the same things – and I guess I like doing just about anything at all– if I’m doing it with you.”

“OK, Sweetheart,” Justin said. “I guess I’m satisfied. You do love me. I knew it all along but it doesn’t hurt to be reminded. I just wanted to hear you say it. Maybe that’s what got Bill and Carlos to their irreconcilable differences – not telling each other how they felt?”

“I don’t think so,” Brian doubted that conclusion.

“Well, maybe not,” Justin allowed, “But you don’t know for sure about that. Telling people you love that you love them is always a good idea, I think. And I’m sorry I’m such a pest, Brian. It’s just that I’m not as confident as you are about things. I’ll try though. I’ll get better. I really will. I just want so much for things between us to be perfect – just like they are. Just bear with me, please…. OK, Kinney, you’ve got your way finally. This discussion is now over. I’m satisfied and I’m going to quit talking. It’s your turn to decide what we talk about for the rest of the evening.”

The guys sat quietly together, possibly meditating, for a while before Brian decided what he wanted to talk about.

“Do you love me?” he asked the kid.


End file.
